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sapphichorrorwrites · 3 years

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Undertones Of Sadness part 1

author's playlist: Kang Sae Byeok x Jiyeong

AU where Jiyeong and Sae Byeok met each other years ago when they had the same crappy job, and Sae Byeok reminisces on whatever they had back then.

It was going to be one huge chapter, but I decided to split it into two so I don't spend forever writing this.

How long had it been since Sae Byeok had last seen Jiyeong? She couldn't remember. It had been a while. Time had passed, the tick-tock of the clock reminding her every day that whatever happened then, didn't matter now. She was laying in her bed, looking up at the blank ceiling. What a crappy apartment. She could see the white paint peeling off. She might have been going crazy, but it looked like her face.

Yeah, time had passed. She still felt the same though.

From time to time, she considered calling her. Maybe every couple of days. Did she even have the same number? Had she left the job at that terrible store? Sae Byeok still remembered her boss screaming at them. It wasn't fun, but then again, she had gotten the money from that job, grabbed her brother, and left Seoul. She wasn't living in riches, but the money was enough to ground herself. The apartment was small and terrible and had the thinnest walls possible, but she did manage to pay for the apartment in a medium city (she didn't like small towns. People felt like they had the right to stick their noses in her life, and she was too guarded to let it happen).

Jiyeong was... Small. She remembered her as being very small and annoying, and very bright. She had no family name. She never talked about her family to anyone. They had this... Unspoken bond, this quiet alliance where they always had each other's back but never said so out loud. Sae Byeok would never ask for help, and Jiyeong was the same, so it was nice to have someone they didn't have to ask.

She rolled over onto her stomach, looking at the black screen of her phone. She always considered calling. Or texting. Maybe just checking how she was. She never quite understood how she felt about Jiyeong. She remembered meeting her.

"I guess you're the new cashier." She had smiled that day, looking up at Sae Byeok's blank expression. "Nice to meet you too. What's your name?"

"Sae Byeok." She said, already thinking of ways to dodge any other questions. Jiyeong looked down at a piece of paper.

"Oh. So you're the moving person." She frowned. Sae Byeok had been hired to move boxes and organize things, and she could see the girl thought it was weird that she would. She was tall and skinny, and didn't look very strong. "I guess there's something in the back you need to organize, them. And some new jackets you need to count."

"Kay." She was already flying past the other girl.

"Hey!" Sae Byeok stopped and took a deep breath before looking back.

"What?" She tried not to sound annoyed. If she did, the other girl ignored it. She put her hand forward for Sae Byeok to shake.

"Jiyeong." She hesitated a bit before shaking it, and then disappeared into the store.

Jiyeong was always bright-eyed, always smiling. It was annoying. Sae Byeok hated working with her for the first few months, because she always just felt like a terrible person for hating her. She hadn't done anything wrong, she was just... Weird.

It was the little things that made her change her mind, little by little. The first thing was when a customer decided they didn't like Sae Byeok for whatever reason. Maybe it was her silence. Maybe they just didn't like her face. Whatever. They kept bugging her, asking her for a bunch of unnecessary information.

"What's your family name, dear?"

"Kim." She lied.

"Where are you from?"

"Here."

"I've never seen you around."

"Seoul is a big city."

Safe to say, they were getting annoyed, and so was Sae Byeok. It was an endless back and forth and she couldn't really react properly, because they would complain to her boss and she would get fired. It had been only a couple of months since she had decided to get a regular, normal job, and so far she was hating it, but it was important for the sake of keeping her brother. She was doing her best to keep the illegal activities to a minimum.

Suddenly, she heard something fall in the back. It was a huge noise. Surely, the customer had heard it too. She looked to the register, but it was empty. She could swear Jiyeong was there just a few minutes ago.

"Yah, Sae Byeok!" She heard her voice. "I dropped a box! Could you come here and help me, please?"

As she passed by Jiyeong, she could swear she had seen her wink.

A few days later, when they were closing the store, was the first time Jiyeong had asked her out.

Well. Not exactly. She hadn't asked her out romantically.

"Hey, Sae Byeok." She had said, over the sound of the huge metal door being closed. Sae Byeok was on her knees, locking it at the bottom.

"Hm?"

"Do you want to grab some coffee?" She froze.

"It's a little late for coffee, no?"

"A drink, then." She tried to think of an excuse. "Or we could get some dinner?" She remembered the incident with the customer, and decided it would only be polite to agree. Then she wouldn't owe Jiyeong anything. Maybe she could grab something to take home too, and Cheol would have some fancy dinner too.

"Fine." Jiyeong lit up even more. She looked like she thought Sae Byoek would say no. "Where to, then?" Jiyeong grabbed her wrist and started dragging her along.

"I know a place."

The whole way, Sae Byeok's eyes were glued to Jiyeong's hand on her wrist. She was wearing a pretty thick oversized green jacket, but Jiyeong was touching her under it. She felt electric and dizzy, like she had already drunk a full bottle of hard liquor. She gulped, thinking about snapping her wrist away but knowing full well that she wouldn't.

She really needed to throw some cold water on her face.

"We're here!" Finally, Jiyeong let go of her wrist, and Sae Byeok timidly rubbed her wrist to get rid of the sensation of electricity running through her skin. Then she looked up, at a crappy bar and restaurant not too far away from where they worked. "This is my favorite place."

"It looks..."

"Terrible, I know. But the food is very good."

Sae Byeok wanted to smile, for some weird reason. She didn't understand why, but there was some warmth in her chest. She scratched her nose to hide it, and once her hand had left her face, it was gone. Just a split second of madness, hopefully now gone forever.

They had tteokbokki, with some cheap beer. She could see what Jiyeong was talking about. The food was amazing, although the place was terrible. It was the best meal she had ever had, though maybe it was because she was so mesmerized by Jiyeong. At the time, she tried not to give in to the feeling, but by now she understood that that was what it was.

"You're not really from around here, are you?" Asked Jiyeong.

"Are you?" She dodged.

"I am." She looked longingly at the wall, and Sae Byeok recognized that look. She was somewhere else, lost inside her head. She couldn't pinpoint if she was at a good place or a bad place inside her head. "Though I've been away for a while." Sae Byeok slowly shook her head up and down.

"Anywhere good?"

"No." She smiled. "Why did you take the job back at the store, though? It's not the best ever."

"It pays."

"I guess. But you could do better." She smiled. "You look smart enough."

"Thank you." She took a bite to give herself some time, and Jiyeong did the same. "You too."

Their conversations were always like that: they danced around the real subjects, and they talked vaguely about things. There was never any real information being exchanged, but some feelings seemed mirrored. She saw herself in Jiyeong, a strange, new version that she didn't fully understand.

But still, there was this understanding between them. Every time one of them needed help, the other did what was possible. Every Thursday, Jiyeong dragged her to the restaurant. Sometimes, particularly on the weekends, they met at a park nearby and sat together in silence, appreciating the sights.

And most importantly, they never asked about each other's pasts.

She sighed on her bed, reluctantly dialing the familiar number. She still didn't press the call button, choosing to just... Stare at it. She had only ever called it once, and Jiyeong had never called her. She didn't know why she did, back then.

Her little brother had made friends at school, and he had asked for a sleepover. It was the first time since she got him from the orphanage that she was going to be away from him for an entire day, and it made her anxious. She agreed very reluctantly, and now she was alone at home, staring at nothing. Jiyeong had given Sae Byeok her number only a couple of days ago, with the excuse that they might need to get their stories straight over something that had happened at work. Once the loneliness and the fear had gotten too big to fit inside her heart, she called.

Jiyeong showed up at her door a little later. Sae Byeok stood up to let her in, and then sat on the floor. The newcomer wandered around for a little bit, taking in the blandness of the small studio apartment. There was nothing. No decorations, barely any furniture... And a sad tall girl sat on the floor.

"Why did you call me?" Jiyeong said, sitting beside her.

"... I don't know." She paused. "I guess I just needed company."

"Oh." Was she weirded out? Did she not like that? "Do you live alone?"

"No." Once more, she needed to pause before continuing on with her sentence. "I have a little brother."

"How old is he?"

"Ten."

"That's young." Sae Byeok chuckled.

"Yeah."

They stayed in silence for a while. Jiyeong put her arms around Sae Byeok, and she didn't know why, but Sae Byeok let her head fall on Jiyeong's shoulder. She was definitely taller, but she felt smaller then. She didn't cry, but Jiyeong still kept rubbing her arm as if she was. She didn't know why either, but she grabbed Jiyeong's free hand with both of hers, encompassing it entirely.

"Did something happen to your brother?" Jiyeong asked, trying to understand what was going on, probably confused by the other's sudden change.

"No." Another pause. "Kind of."

"What happened?"

"He's on his first sleepover."

"Oh."

"It's stupid." Once again, there were no tears, but her voice sounded as if she was. It was trembling and small.

"It's not. It' sweet that you care."

She kissed the top of Sae Byeok's head. It was a... Confusing moment, to say the least. Because Sae Byeok was sad, but a couple of butterflies appeared in her stomach. And she didn't move. She didn't want her feelings to show, so she let them bubble inside of her. It was... Overwhelming. Excruciating. She wanted to scream.

"It will be alright." Jiyeong continued. "I can stay over, if you want. To keep you company."

"Don't you have anyone to miss you at home?"

"No." She could hear the smile on Jiyeong's voice, the type of misplaced one she always carried. "I live alone. It must be nice to have someone." Sae Byeok chuckled.

"I'm sure you're not completely alone."

"I really am."

"No, you're not. You have me." Sae Byeok didn't know what possessed her not to keep her mouth shut. She regretted it instantly. She wanted to run and hide. But Jiyeong held her hand more firmly, and squished her arm, and kissed the top of her head again.

"Then you have me, too."

Sae Byeok must have lost her mind, but her lips met Jiyeong's and she lost herself in them. She was expecting her to push her away, slap her in the face. To storm out and tell her to find another job. Instead, her hands found Sae Byeok's hair and cheek, just as Sae Byeok's found her waist. In her head, there were sirens. This is a bad idea. Stop while you can. Even then, there was this sort of desperation she didn't know was there before, and she could never stop even if she wanted to.

And truth be said, she didn't want to.

#reblogging bc it got buried #when i was adding ppl to my writing list

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sapphichorrorwrites · 3 years

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Shelter

request: Ziggy Berman x F!Reader

@sketchy-yy: Heyy, I saw your request list and was wondering if I could I request a Ziggy Berman x F!Reader where Y/N has been dealing with some homophobia at the camp and Ziggy comforts her and Y/N ends up confessing and bOOm they kiss or something idk it's all up to you lol

TW: Active homophobia, violence

It was a particularly hard day for Y/N, given that Sheila just wouldn't leave her alone. But on the horizon, here comes her knight in shining armour: Ziggy Berman.

Shadyside was hell, and had always been hell. Y/N wouldn't say had the worst luck around only because the entire town had just the worst luck. But somehow, being at camp was even worse. Yes, she was used to being called names because of who she loved. But there was a difference between being ostracized in Shadyside and being ostracized by fucking Sunnyvalers.

Sheila, specifically, had made it a habit to torment her on the daily. Her being a pain in the ass had become a common experience for most Shadysiders, though the nonconforming ones really had no moments of rest in that shitty camp.

Truthfully, Y/N didn't even want to come to the camp in the first place. She was just pushed to come by her parents who needed some "alone time". She almost told them she could just go stay wherever for a month instead of this, but considering the string of bad luck, they needed the vacation more than her.

She had regretted it now, though. She should have just lied that she was at the camp while staying at a friend's house.

Her biggest mistake, today had been to go to a part of the camp not frequently visited for some peace and quiet. She couldn't win, really. In public spaces with a lot of people, there were more people to make fun of her, but in places she could be alone, it was easier to do whatever without anyone hearing.

Y/N had been just taking a breath when she heard the steps behind her, but she didn't turn around. They were far away enough that she could probably get away with it, and giving whoever it was attention would just add fuel to the fire.

"Hey! You dyke!" She heard Sheila's voice screaming, followed by the impact of a tomato hitting her shoulder. Where did Sheila get a tomato? Another Shadyside mystery.

By this point, Y/N had gotten used to that. It happened a lot in Shadyside too. The name-calling, the gratuitous violence, occasionally some mean-spirited pranks sprinkled here and there. Her mom had warned her against coming out publicly, and that it would have consequences. But in all their callousness and hopelessness, there was kindness and empathy in Shadyside. There were limits to how far this kind of thing would go.

"I'm talking to you!" Another tomato hit her shoulder as Sheila's voice got angrier. There was nothing she hated more than being ignored.

Sheila, however, was a wild card. Most of the Sunnyvallers, really. Most of them had never seen pain and suffering, and knew their rich daddies could clean their records if they went too far. They got to be "just children" on the backs of Shadysiders. And those coddled bitches had no limits.

"Whatever, you lesbo!"

This time, something harder hit her shoulder. Y/N stumbled forward as she felt a sharp pain from the rock that had hit her just then. She breathed harder, taking in what had just happened. A rock. A fucking rock. Sheila's gang's annoying laughs added insult to injury. She slowly put her hand on her shoulder to feel the blood coming out.

That was it. Sheila wouldn't get away with it this time. She made a sharp turn towards the girl and ran into her with full force, knowing very well that this was a lost battle but not completely registering it. Y/N just launched her body against the other's, tackling her to the ground and beginning to punch, slap, scratch, and pull hair. Whatever hurt the most.

"You bitch! You fucking bitch!" Before she could even get a good punch-fest going, her minions were grabbing her arms and pulling her away from Sheila. Fuck. She shouldn't have done this.

Now that she was essentially immobilized and at Sheila's mercy, her heart felt as if she was on a marathon. She looked up at the girl, who had gotten up. She looked angry. Oh no.

"You psycho!" She kicked Y/N's stomach, taking away every single amount of air that she had in her body. "Isn't being a fucking dyke not enough to you?!" She punched her in the face this time. Y/N could tell she was genuinely angry. It wasn't just a joke or random cruelty this time. "Fucking Shadysiders! Are you possessed by the witch too?"

Sheila was preparing for another blow when a rock hit her. It was somewhat satisfying to see her be the target this time. It hit her in the forehead, which would have been tragic and worrying had it not been funny. It wasn't like the rock was big or heavy, though, so most likely it had just hurt like shit.

"Hey, Sheila! Don't you get tired of being a fucking bitch?!"

She heard Ziggy's voice before she saw her. She looked so cool, like a knight in shining armor. The distraction had shaken everyone up, and Y/N could feel that the hands around her had loosened a lot as the girls' bodies went towards Sheila to check if she was hurt.

Now was her time to shine.

Pulling herself up and away from the girls with all her strength, Y/N launched herself into a sprint for her life. Ziggy did the same, to the other reaction. It was a good plan: Sheila was confused by the rock and by not knowing who to run after, and also too lost in her own anger to really react.

***

Later that night, after dinner, when everyone was going to sleep, Ziggy and Y/N found themselves in each other's company again. Sleeplessness had hit both of them, and somehow, both had had the idea to hide near the Sarah Fier tree. Very few people went there late at night, and when they did, they generally ran out crying the moment a small sound escaped the woods.

Y/N had gotten there first, and was just sitting with her back against the tree, playing with her hands and staring at the night sky. Ziggy got there a little later, and their somewhat surprised looks mirrored each other.

"Nice to see you here." Said Ziggy, sitting down beside Y/N.

"Thank you. For earlier."

"It's fine." She looked everywhere but Y/N's face as she said it, which kind of hurt a little bit. "Don't read too much into it."

"You helping me?" Again, another little sting in her heart.

"No, Sheila. She's just... Like that, you know. With everyone." She puffed. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad about the gay thing just because she's picking on you. She picks on everybody."

"The gay thing." Y/N chuckled. "I guess I know that. Sometimes I just regret ever telling anyone."

"You shouldn't." Ziggy grabbed her hand, finally looking Y/N in the eyes with a smile. "It was brave, you know. I like brave. Brave is good. Especially around Shadyside."

Y/N heart fluttered, and that was the exact moment she decided to make a mistake. Well, not exactly decided. It was more like her mouth was a faucet that she couldn't close.

"I like you." Now that it was out, she panicked. What should she do? Double down? Back down? Finish the sentence with as a friend? Endless possibilities, so little time to decide.

Ziggy laughed, which short-circuited her brain even more. What if she made fun of her? What if she thought Y/N only ever had spent time with her because she had a romantic interest in her? What if she changed her mind and decided she regretted helping her? What if -

"You look cute when you panic."

"Hm?" Her voice came out with a sense of urgency. "I'm not panicking." She laughed again, this time a lot more than a chuckle.

"I promise I won't let her hurt you again." Ziggy said. Why did she always have to sound so cool? "You're too cute for that."

Y/N's cheeks got flushed almost immediately, but not from embarrassment. At least not just because of it. Maybe she was actually possessed by something, because she actually kissed Ziggy's lips. They tasted like the berries that grew near the camp, mixed with the taste of adrenaline of her stupid decision.

But to her surprise, Ziggy actually kissed back, her hands rushing to cup Y/N's face and get tangled on her hair. Realizing, very confused, that this kiss was actually happening, Y/N's hands slowly reached for Ziggy's waist, just barely grazing it as she got lost in the sensations.

As their lips parted, Ziggy's forehead rested against Y/N's. They opened their eyes hesitantly, and Ziggy hooked her pinky finger on Y/N's.

"Just stay with me and I'll keep you safe." Ziggy said, out of breath.

"Okay."

#ziggy berman fanfic #ziggy berman x reader #ziggy berman imagine #fear street fanfic #fear street imagine #fear street scenario #ziggy berman scenario #i wrote this on my 30th hour without sleep more or less #because i was having insomnia #so now everyone gets an unfiltered unedited kinda manic version of my writing #i could wait to post it later but i also could not #bianca writes

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