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when youâre ready, come and get it
pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader
warnings: no explicit smut. sexual content. some fluff. 18+ only.
words: 4.7k
notes: another random two am fic drop - whoâs surprised? the starting dialogue of this fic had been sitting in my docs for almost two years and i finally got around to actually writing something for it lol. i hope you like it! thank you in advance for reading. as always, any comments and reblogs are always welcomed and so appreciated. let me know your thoughts! đ©”
Your back is sore as you head toward the door of the cramped little apartment youâre stuck in for the night.
Safe âhouseâ your ass.
âYou had to use all the hot water?â Bucky yells from the bathroom you exited only minutes ago. You smirk to yourself and roll your eyes as you reach for the handle of the front door, âYouâll live,â you yell back, letting the closing of the door behind you signal your exit.
Youâre in sweats and a long sleeve, sneakers on your feet and your phone in your pocket as you begin the short walk to the Chinese restaurant just down the street from the building you're staying in.
Itâs been a long, grueling day and you are starving.
The further down the street you get, the closer the smell of the food - it keeps you moving despite the aches that are wrecking your body. Unsurprisingly, getting shoulder tackled by a super soldier leaves you a little worse for wear.
You almost groan out loud at the thought of him.
You have no idea how youâre going to get through this night.
Itâs dark out, but the street lights gleaming off the wet pavement and the storefront signs of the few places still open light your way. At least it stopped raining.
You recognize the name of the shop, stop in front of the door and head in. The entrance bell jingles and a young man comes out from the back to greet you. You give him your name and only have to wait a minute before he comes back with the bag of food you ordered before your shower.
Your stomach growls as you start back down to the apartment.
All you want to do is climb into that bed, pop some advil, scarf down this food, and hopefully sleep off the pain you can feel creeping up your body, slowly but surely.
Your hunger again encourages your speed and before you can get lost in any thoughts, youâre back at the front door.
You unlock it and unthinkingly push it open with your shoulder. You grimace and bite back a growl at the pain that radiates up your neck and down your arm, and at the memory of being sent flying into trunks and boxes lining a cement wall, which you also ended up colliding with.
You sigh and shut the door, locking it behind you. You set the food down on the dark wooden table in the area you call the kitchen. You begin to take the containers out before you turn around to face the bed.
Your eyes narrow in on him instantly as annoyance surges in your veins at the sight before you.
âWhat are you doing?â you ask sharply, an accusation in your tone.
âWhat does it look like Iâm doing?â he replies without looking up from the tablet heâs working on. His hair is damp, a mess of dark brown he keeps behind his ears and out of his face. His brows are furrowed as he reads, all the while heâs laying with his ankles crossed, relaxing on the bed shirtless with his grey sweats low on his hips. Fucking hell.
You bite your tongue, fighting the scowl threatening to take over your face.
âLaying down in my bed, thatâs what it looks like.â
âWho said it was your bed?â he challenges, finally looking up at you.
âI did. Just now. And also when we first got here two hours ago,â you point out.
âWell, itâs a good thing you have absolutely no authority over me, then, huh,â he smirks tauntingly as he tosses the tablet to the side.
âGet out of the bed, Barnes.â
âI donât know who you think youâre talking to, sweetheart, but Iâm not moving.â
He crosses his arms like a defiant toddler, his blue eyes almost twinkling with a dare to challenge him, self assured as he always is in your arguments. You lick your lip,
âI mean it, Iâm not getting on the floor.â
He shrugs, âDonât care. Not my problem.â
You can feel your skin getting hot from your irritation and your neck straining as you tense. You really arenât in the mood for this. You canât fight right now.
WellâŠyou could. But you wonât. You have food to eat, you can argue who sleeps where later.
You shake your head and roll your eyes, âJackass.â
You ignore him and walk into the bathroom without closing the door behind you. You wet your hands for a second under the sink water and then pump the sweet smelling soap into them, lathering up and washing your hands. Despite the sound of the running water, you can clearly hear the crinkling of the plastic bag that contains the food as you imagine Bucky is sorting through it all. You finish washing and turn the water back off.
âDonât touch my lo mein,â you warn him, voice raised as you dry your hands on a towel.
You lean your head out past the door and see him as he twirls some noodles from your container.
âJackass!â you accuse, throwing the towel down and marching from the bathroom right toward him.
âDonât be greedy,â he chastises through his bite before grabbing his own container, unphased by your reproach.
âGreedy? As if you donât have your own food.â
âSharing is caring,â he taunts before he walks back over to the bed.
Your eyes follow him in disbelief. He sits back in his spot and makes himself comfortable. You scoff before turning back to the table. You grab your opened container and the pack of utensils the restaurant gave you and walk over to the bed, too. You feel Buckyâs eyes on you as you get to the other side of the bed.
âI told you Iâm not moving.â
âAnd I told you Iâm not sleeping on the floor. You can do whatever the hell you want.â
âSo weâre sharing, then?â he asks. The smile pulling at the corner of his lips is easily pushed aside by you. You donât want to read into it, so you wonât.
You twirl some lo mein and take a bite, âSharing is caring,â you echo him as you make yourself comfortable.
You lean over and grab the remote to the 40 inch television hung on the wall across from you. You can complain about the tight quarters and the singular bed, but at least the place is relatively liveable. The tv was a surprise, but welcomed.
You leave it on the channel it lights up on, reruns of some procedural youâve seen a hundred times over.
You eat in uncharacteristic silence, but every so often you can feel Buckyâs eyes on you. You donât return his gaze, instead staying focused on your food and trying not to show your discomfort when the pain in your shoulder and neck blooms deeper as the night goes on. Youâre grateful he seems to be worn from the mission, too. If he wasnât, you know heâd have found something to pick with you about by now.
An hour passes and youâre both done with your food. You throw your trash away and head to the bathroom. You leave the door open as you brush your teeth and Bucky enters just as you finish. He watches you intently as you take a pain pill before shoving the bottle, along with the rest of your toiletries, back in your bag. Still, heâs quiet. You would normally call him out for his silence and staring, but you donât have it in you to start something right now.
You turn to walk out of the bathroom and accidentally bump into him as he moves to step toward the sink.
You hiss at the pain it sends through you, so quiet that had it been anyone else, they wouldnât have even noticed the sound that escaped you. But this wasnât anyone else.
You donât stop walking after you bump into him, just head back toward the bed without pause. Trying to act like nothing happened and that you are perfectly fine. Which you are! Aside from the stabbing pain radiating up and down your arm... youâre good.
You pull the comforter out all around the bed - better to avoid any tugging and pulling in front of Bucky if you can.
As youâre about to climb onto the bed, Bucky emerges from the bathroom. Still shirtless, still oddly silent. Itâs starting to get a little unnerving now.
Slowly, you lay down, being careful not to move too fast and doing your best to not move your arm too much.
Bucky gets into bed beside you. You donât want to, yet you canât help but notice how gingerly he climbs in. As if heâs trying to make as little movement as possible.
You try to get comfortable, itâs not the first time youâve had to share a bed on a mission, but with Bucky thereâs always that extra heatâŠtension. Your pointless arguing about who will sleep where, both of you knowing youâll end up sharing again only to vow the next morning to get the bed to yourself the next time you find yourselves in this situation, itâs damn near routine now. And yet, the tension remains. And the pain youâre feeling isnât helping in the slightest.
Neither is his shirtlessness. Heâs always like a furnace but somehow it feels like heâs radiating even more heat without the barrier of a shirt. Youâd love to pull off your own, but the tightness in your shoulder would definitely protest the motion.
âYou alright?â
Buckyâs voice breaks the silence. His tone is soft, voice quiet, but it still startles you a bit, catches you off guard.
âUhm,â you breathe, hesitating, âI, uhm⊠âm fine,â you whisper back. His eyes are on you, you can feel them, but you donât turn to look back at him.
A beat.
âWould you mind getting the light?â you ask in the same hushed tone.
Another beat.
The bed creaks a bit as Bucky gets up without a word.
The light cuts out and the television is the only thing left glowing in the darkened space of the studio.
He gets back into the bed, being just as careful as he was before, and grabs the remote you left in the space between you. He shuts off the tv and you take a breath, relaxing a bit now that you know he canât really see you all too well.
You grimace as you readjust your head and shoulders under the pillow.
Ow.
You lay in silence. In pain and discomfort.
âŠYou have some arnica in your bag you could roll on, but that would give you away in a second. You could roll onto your side but then youâd be facing Bucky and you donât want to make things awkwardâŠer.
You wait a few minutes before you peek over to him in the dark. From what you can tell, his eyes are closed, his breathing seems steady⊠Fuck it, you think. Whether heâs sleeping or not, you donât want to feel this any longer than you have to. You quietly push the comforter off of yourself, kicking it off your feet, and delicately roll yourself up.
You keep the layout of the space in mind as you navigate around in the dark. Youâre tiptoeing carefully, hopeful you havenât accidentally woken him up as a floorboard creaks beneath you when you get to the table you left your bag on.
You find your toiletries bag and feel around until your hands grasp your roll-on. You walk lightly back over to the bed where you sit down.
You unscrew the cap and start rolling the cooling bliss up your neck and on your shoulder - the small part of it thatâs exposed by your shirt, at least.
You sigh to yourself and loosely put the cap back on, dropping the bottle beside you.
Fuck it, you think again. Shirtâs cominâ off.
As soon as the material of your long sleeve is over your head, the lights come back on, eliciting a harsh gasp from you as you jerk your head in the direction of the light switches.
âFucking hell, Bucky!â You chastise as you bring a hand up to rub at your neck. You moved too quickly when the lights came on and now a new wave of tension stabs at your neck and shoulder once more.
How the hell he managed to get out of the bed and across the room without you hearing is beyond you, but you arenât really all that surprised.
âSo when you said you were fine,â he walks back over to the bed, âwhat you meant was..?â
âWas that Iâm fine,â you repeat yourself firmly, head downcast as you keep your back to him.
The smallest bit of self consciousness flares inside of you as you realize youâre in only a bra and sweats as heâs free to scan your body behind you, but you quickly decide you donât care. Youâre more focused on the strain and his apparent concern for you.
The bed moves and you feel the roll on being grabbed from beside your thigh. Bucky is right behind you now; you feel yourself freeze and inadvertently tense even more.
You inhale sharply as his hand meets your skin. You donât move as his finger slips down the strap of your bra. You listen intently as he unscrews the cap and you sigh again as he moves the arnica roll on up and over your shoulder, just slightly down the slope of it, and then back up toward your neck as you let your arm relax, and then your head as you tilt it in the opposite direction to allow him more access to your neck. God, that feels good.
âI didnât mean for you to get hurt,â he says quietly.
You furrow your brow. âI know that.â
âWe didnât have time, I wasnât thinking,â he starts.
âI was directly in their line of fire, Bucky, I know.â You reach back and take the bottle from him, he lets you as you keep your gaze in front of you and your back to him. âIs that why youâve been so quiet?â you laugh softly, âYou felt bad about pushing me?â
You screw the cap back on and toss it, along with your shirt, gently to the floor beside you.
âIâm sorry,â he says, ignoring your questions.
âYou donât have to be sorry.â You finally turn to face him, moving your whole body, bringing a knee up on the bed as you climb back onto the mattress. âYou saved my lifeâŠagain,â you add. âThank you.â
Bucky scoffs as he sits back on his haunches, still facing you. The mentholy smell of the arnica rub is thick in the air, but you donât mind it. You look at him, his hair still a mess, his normally icy blue eyes just the tiniest bit darker now. You force yourself to look away before your gaze once again drifts down to his solid chest.
You huff as you lay back down in your spot. The roll on and the advil you took earlier are helping with the pain, but the tightness is still bothersome.
âStill?â Bucky asks with a raised brow.
You roll your eyes. âNot all of us have super healing abilities, Barnes.â
His tongue mindlessly wets his lips as he considers you. âTurn over,â he tells you, his long hidden Brooklyn accent making its rare appearance. Your lips twitch at the sound. One of the reasons you enjoy arguing with him so often is because of that damn voice. His accent gets thicker when youâre in your back and forths⊠Youâre hit with realization then of what he just said and youâre sure your confusion is written clear as day on your face as you give him a look,
âSorry?â
âTurn over,â he repeats.
âWha-,â you titter nervously, looking up at him as he stays on his knees next to you. âWhy?â you question.
âWould you just listen to me for once? Turn over before I turn you over,â he orders.
You ignore the tingle in your bellyâŠand lower, at his instruction and the easy air of authority his voice so effortlessly holds. Half the time it irritates you, but the other half, though you try to push it away, gets you feeling like this.
You swallow thickly and blink away from his intent gaze before you slowly move to turn yourself over without causing any pain.
You take a shaky breath you hope he doesnât notice as you adjust yourself, trying not to smother your face in the pillow.
Youâre not sure what heâs going to do, your body is buzzing with the unknown, your nerves are on edge, but here you are following his orders nonetheless.
The bed shifts as Bucky moves closer and you donât realize youâre holding your breath until you feel his touch again. You shudder as he lets his hand ghost from your trap, over your shoulder, and down your arm. The bed shifts again as Bucky straddles you. You can feel his warmth radiating off of him, his knees on either side of your body.
âTell me if you want me to stop.â
You breathe, and stay quiet. Bucky waits a moment longer before he continues.
It starts slow, his touch soft yet firm as his hands massage you. Your eyes close without your permission as you exhale a heavy breath. This is good. Really good. His hands are like magic as he applies just the right amount of pressure to your back. He works a tight spot and another heavy breath leaves you.
Oh fuck⊠that wasnât a heavy breath.
That was a moan.
It doesnât stop him, but you, youâre mortified. Your eyes snap open and you hurriedly try to push yourself up. Itâs to no avail. Bucky keeps you down easily with just one hand on your back, the other lightly squeezing your shoulder. Your heart is going to beat out of your chest. You donât really know what it is youâre feeling right now, but you think it might just be the end of you.
Heâs essentially on top of you. and heâs warm. and strong. and even beneath him, he smells so damn good.
You donât feel helpless often, but right now, under Bucky, being kept in place like this by him, you do. Like prey caught by a predatorâŠ
Except you donât feel scared.
Embarrassed, but not scared.
In fact with Bucky, you always feel safe, protected. Like earlier today. He had your back, he was watching out for you, like he always does, whether youâre fighting or not. Heâs always there.
He squeezes your shoulder soothingly just a bit more, âRelax,â he eases, his thumb rubbing into your tight muscle. You force yourself to breathe again and relax back down into the bed.
You do feel a little helpless, but god help you, you think you like it.
âThis is okay?â he asks, voice deeper now as he starts massaging your back again, working a little deeper.
It takes you a second to voice your affirmation, and it comes out as more of a deep hum, but he takes it.
Your lashes flutter once more and you sigh, another soft moan slipping from you as Bucky adds slightly more pressure. His hands move a little lower as he works at the tension in your back, and he leans in a little closer as he speaks again.
âThis okay?â he rasps in your ear.
Your breath hitches as you slacken even deeper into the bed.
âYes,â you murmur headily. Itâs not just from his touch, itâs that itâs his touch. Youâve done this dance with him before, but youâve never gotten quite this close. Youâve shared heated moments, wistful stares, lingering touches, almost kisses, hell youâve woken up in his arms before on nights like this, but itâs never been quite like this.
The base of his palm rubs at a particularly tight spot. He massages you carefully⊠and when you suddenly feel his lips press against the skin of your shoulder, you canât help but whimper at the contact. You think maybe youâre imagining things, that his touch just feels so good itâs causing all these thoughts to run wild in your headâŠ
Then you feel his fingers brush against the band of your bra.
âBuckyâŠâ you waver.
âTell me to stop,â he breathes.
You donât even give yourself a second to catch up before you respond.
âNo,â you mew.
His hands squeeze your soft waist and his lips brush your skin gently. Another weak moan leaves you.
Bucky smoothly unclasps your bra and his hands ghost over your back as he pushes it off of you.
His touch falls to your hip where he takes hold of you once more. You can so easily feel his strength in his grip before he pulls you lightly to turn over toward him.
You do just that, slowly and carefully, until you find yourself right beneath him, his heavy lidded eyes set on you, his lips parted as he takes you in beneath him.
Your hands find the waistband of his sweats and you pull him closer to you. He lowers himself down and your noses brush as he comes in even closer. Youâve wanted this for so long. You breathe each other in for a moment before your eyes close and your lips finally touch. Itâs soft and hesitant, just a single kiss. Then another. And another. And then all at once, itâs a whirlwind of fervency. Your hand is crawling in his hair as you hold him closer. You try to lean up into him, but he stops you and follows you back down until your head is resting on the pillow. You murmur your protest and you can feel Buckyâs smirk against your lips. He kisses you one more time, deep and lingering, before he finally pulls away. Youâre breathing harder, looking up at him with nothing but want and desire swimming in your gaze.
He lifts a hand to rub at your shoulder gently and you sigh at the feeling.
âFeels better?â
âYeah,â you breathe with a light nod.
âGood,â he breathes in turn. Your brows furrow in confusion when he moves from above you and instead lays down next to you on the bed. You had a different idea of where things were about to goâŠ
Your bra is halfway off and you donât know whether you want to remove it completely or pull it back on. Oh god⊠maybe this was all just a dream, your fantasy playing out all too realistically and tricking you.
While your mind is worrying itself, Bucky rolls onto his side, facing you, and gets your attention. His hand comes to rest on your lower tummy, smoothing over to your hip. âI didnât realize youâd gotten hurt earlier,â his voice is low and sincere. âI really am sorry.â
You watch him bring his hand over to the strap of your bra, the cool metal chilling your skin as he drags it down your arm. You donât stop him as he does, instead you let the other strap fall further down your arm before you pull it off altogether and drop it off the bed and onto the floor. He moves in closer to you and his eyes fall to your lips. He inches closer before kissing you again. His hand ghosts up your waist as you murmur against his lips, ââsâokay,â you shake your head at his needless apology, kissing him back. His wandering hand cups your full breast and he kneads it, your nipples peaking at his attention. You moan into the kiss, getting a low groan from Bucky in turn as he deepens it, and you attempt to roll onto your side and into him to be even closer.
Again, Bucky easily stops your movement, gently pushing you back down, but not breaking the kiss as he follows you.
âWha?â you mumble, pulling away from him, âWhat?â
Youâre getting more confused and frustrated the longer this goes on.
He laughs and your eyes narrow at that goddamned smirk on his face.
âLook, sweetheart, as much as Iâd love to take this further,â he simpers, bringing a hand to caress your cheek softly, âyouâre hurt.â
âIâm fine,â you argue back.
âJust lay down,â he laughs again, ârelax. Youâre gonna be even more sore in the morning. You donât need me making it worse.â
âI can take it,â you try to argue again, to defend yourself, really.
âIâm sure you can,â he allows with a soft smirk, âBut if youâve been feeling this between us for as long as I have, two more days of waiting âll be nothing.â
You pout. âRight,â you say unbelievingly. You turn your head back so youâre facing the ceiling. âTease,â you mutter under your breath - knowing full well he can hear you.
âPot, meet kettle,â he scoffs.
You roll your eyes and let your head fall to the side to look at him again.
âYou need sleep,â he says softly, leaning in close to you again. You reach to touch his face, his cheeks stubbly.
âWould you get the light?â you ask in the same tone.
Bucky leans in and places a chaste kiss on your lips. He hums quietly, licking his lips as he pulls away and sits up. âIâm gonna be kissing you all the time now, you know that, right?â
You breathe a laugh, smiling softly as you watch him get up and go turn off the lights.
You pull the comforter up and over yourself, keeping one foot out so as not to overheat too quickly.
Bucky shuts off the lights and gets back into the bed, sliding in next to you under the covers.
He gets comfortable in his spot and after a few seconds, you slowly inch closer to him. Your hand touches his as you both lay on your backs. You get closer until you finally decide to turn toward him. Sleeping on your side will be a lot more comfortable, and -
Bucky cuts off your train of thought as he suddenly, but gently, pulls you into him, allowing your head to rest on his chest as he keeps a protective arm around you.
âWe both know weâre gonna wake up like this anyway,â he says, finishing your thought without knowing it.
You fight your smile as you curl into him, finding the most comfortable spot for both of you. The skin to skin contact is intimate and so natural, you donât even give it a second thought as you start to drift off into sleep. You feel Bucky press a tender kiss on your forehead and the warmth that flows through you is undeniable.
Just like you two.
Youâve both known it for some time, you just never wanted to make the wrong move. But this is it, here and now.
Undeniable.
God, youâre getting too hot already. If this had been any other night from your past âsleepoversâ youâd probably just try and deal. But tonight, and every night from now on if youâre lucky, is different. You move just a bit and Bucky doesnât object. Slowly, you start shimmying down your sweats until youâre able to just kick them off under the covers. You were planning on losing them earlier anyway, why should you be self conscious now.
Plus, Bucky did accuse you of being a tease not fifteen minutes ago. If he thought anything you ever did before could come close to his touches tonight, he had no idea.
And Buckyâs right, youâll be waking up like this come the morning no matter how you go to bed. You in his arms, in nothing but a pair of cute underwear, would certainly be a good morning. And then youâll see how he really feels about waiting another day or two to finally be with each other the way youâve been wanting for so long.
Now you know better than to underestimate Buckyâs patience, but telling from the bulge growing in his sweats as his hand wanders over your hip and squeezes your bottom while your fingers dance along his midsection, ghosting lower and lower as you feel his muscles tenseâŠyou think you might just get it sooner rather than later.
But either way, you smile softly, cuddling into Bucky as he pulls your body closer, you know youâll both get what you want.
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run for your life
Mob!Bucky x ReaderÂ
Summary: He was away from the city for a while, chasing after some bastards who betrayed him. But the traitors were no longer breathing now and Bucky Barnes was finally able to come home to the city he ruled. Mostly, he was excited to come back and see his girl again. However when he got to the strip club where you worked as a waitress, he didnât find you there. They told him you didnât work there anymore. No one knew where you went, or why you left. Nobody even knew your real name. Now it was up to him to search the whole wide world to find a nameless girl â one he was obsessively, mindlessly in love with.Â
Themes: slight stalker!bucky, possessive!bucky, mild degrading kink, smut, FLUFF, opposite aesthetics, mild daddy kink (nicknames only), cosy little town vibesÂ
a/n: some fluffy mob!bucky to end the year <3 Thank you so much for always supporting my silly little fics. Merry Christmas my darlings, and happy New Year!! See you soon ;)
He didn't know where exactly he would end up locating you, but finding you in a cosy, small, coastal town in the south of France was not on his list.Â
You being the owner of a gourmet bakery was not on his list either. Bucky was confused, surprised, but mostly confused. How did this happen? At first, when Sam came to deliver him the news of your location that morning, Bucky didnât believe him. Had Sam not been Buckyâs oldest, most loyal friend Bucky wouldâve never believed him at all.Â
âIâm gonna need you to stop being a dumbass and go find this girl!â Sam, ever the voice of reason yelled at Bucky who had been drowning in his sorrows. âItâs been months, and I canât keep covering for your ass. I have my own shit to do, my own men to command.â He used that cool, authoritative voice of his. âPull yourself together, Buck. Go find her.âÂ
Sam was right. Of course he was. He always was. And it had really been months since that damned nightâŠÂ
âÂ
Bucky couldnât wait to get out of his plane the moment it landed. It was late at night, but the perfect time to go to the club. He had missed it. Well, not the whole club really. Bucky had missed you.Â
He had a⊠special connection with you. His girl. His only girl. His favourite girl.Â
This time, he thought, he would do whatever he can to solidify whatever was happening between the two of you. Maybe heâd even get you to go on a real date with him. Maybe that would lead to something more. He was smiling to himself just thinking about it.Â
He often thought back to the night you met. He was at the club after a long day of being the dark ruler he was. All he wanted was a drink and a pretty woman on his lap. Thatâs when he found you.Â
Right as he walked in, you caught his eye. Walking around serving drinks, wearing a little see-through red dress that brought every man you walked past to his knees.Â
Once he got to his booth, Bucky called you over. You walked towards him sheepishly.Â
âIâve never seen you around here before, beautiful.â He said, patting his thigh. He noticed the way you hesitated. Must be new, he thought.Â
You carefully perched on his lap, holding your empty metal tray to your chest. Bucky smirked as he looked at it, like you were putting a makeshift barrier between the two of you. When you remained quiet and squirmy, Bucky spoke up again.Â
âCome on, babygirl. Talk to me, itâs okay.â He whispered at his nuzzled your neck. âI donât bite. Unless you ask nicely, then I might.âÂ
His warm breath against your skin tickled. You chuckled as you pulled away to look at him. âUm, Iâm just a waitress. Iâm not supposed toâŠâ You trailed off. Both of you were aware of the no-contact âruleâ. But there was a natural, unexplainable spark there that neither of you could ignore.Â
âHmm,â His chest rumbled. âHow about we go somewhere private?â He whispered into your ear and noticed the way you shivered.Â
You hung your head, clutching your metal tray. âWaitresses arenât supposed to go into the VIP rooms, sir.â You said quietly, just loud enough for him to hear you above the sensual music.Â
Bucky smirked. Then leaned in and whispered, âI suppose I can bend the rules a little given I co-own the club.âÂ
You froze and went to stand up immediately, already apologising but he wrapped his arm around your waist, keeping you on his lap.Â
âItâs okay, babygirl. Youâre not in trouble, I promise.âÂ
The two of you ended up in one of the VIP rooms. Nothing happened, you just kissed and talked and kissed some more. Bucky promised to come back. And he did. For months. Again and again and each time he did, you were drawn to him like he was gravity from the very moment he walked into the room.Â
And that night he landed after being away for weeks, he expected you to run right into his arms the moment heâd enter the club like you always did. He even got you a nice little gift to make up for the time that heâd been away. It was a rare, red diamond choker. He could already imagine how it would look around your neck. Like a brand. His.Â
But then he got to the club. And he noticed everyone was avoiding his eyes almost anxiously. And his girl was nowhere to be seen. He searched for you in the main area for a while, then even searched the VIP rooms, vowing to commit horrible crimes if he ever found you in there with another man.Â
But no.Â
He called Sam, who co-owned the club, and Sam had no idea who he was talking about. Bucky asked the staff members, and one bartender finally told him that youâd resigned a few weeks ago. And no one knew where you went. He asked for your full name, but no one knew that either.Â
Not even Sam. âI didnât even know we had a new waitress, Buck. I have more important shit to worry about.â Heâd said, adding to the burning sensation in Buckyâs chest.Â
âShe left me.âÂ
Sam had no idea what his best friend was babbling about. And during the many months that followed, Bucky was a mess. A mess like Sam had never seen before. Frantically scanning country after country, searching for a girl with no name. He was in love, and he wasnât giving up. He would find his girl come what may.Â
â
But now Bucky knew where you were.Â
And he was more confused than ever. He had even more questions.Â
Bucky spent a whole week in that little town. Watching you, learning your routine, observing and questioning. He disguised himself as a local and always kept his distance even though his hands itched to touch you.Â
At first he was bothered by how you were fine with living the same day everyday. Your routine seemed boring at first, but the more he watched, the more he realised it was sort of therapeutic. The normality of it all.Â
He rented an apartment on the other side of the street from your bakery, and he spent hours watching you.Â
You lived right above the bakery. A quaint apartment, with flower pots all around the french windows. Sometimes when you forgot to turn the lights off at night, Bucky spent the whole night spying on you, counting your breaths as you slept on your couch in front of the TV.Â
Youâd wake up at the crack of dawn, then youâd feed your dogs. He noticed you had two. Lazy, both of them. Then youâd get downstairs and within half an hour, the cool air that entered his apartment carried the smell of the sea and baked goods.Â
All he wanted was to cross the cobblestone street and drag you to his bed, demand answers while fucking some sense into you. But the more he watched you, the more his anger diminished. Temporarily.Â
The genuine smile on your face as you served your loyal customers all day, especially the ones who always came early in the morning on their way to work. The occasional sound of your voice or your laughter that slipped past whenever someone didnât close the door right. The sound of children squealing and laughing whenever you gave away leftover baked goods or donuts in the evenings. How you knew almost everyone by name. How sometimes you invited neighbours over for wine nights. How you went on little walks in late, cool evenings, forcing your lazy pets to walk but then ending up having to carry them on the way back. They were spoiled, he realised. He hated to admit that he was jealous of the damned dogs who got so much of your attention while he starved for it.Â
He wasnât angry by the end of that first week of spying, he was just hurting. How dare you live a whole new life without him? How dare you laugh and seem like you donât miss him? Heâd just spent months looking for you and here you were, just going about your day like you didnât care? Like none of those nights youâd spent together mattered?Â
Meanwhile he was shaking just reminiscing the way your touch felt across his skin. He remembered the first time the two of you crossed that line in one of the VIP roomsâŠ
You were wearing that red dress again. Fucking tease, he hissed each time you moved or squirmed on his lap.Â
âBaby, please,â He groaned. âJust⊠let me touch you. Daddy will make you feel good, so good babygirl, I promise.â He pleaded, hands caressing your soft, warm thighs.Â
You shook your head, popping another one of those chocolates he brought you into your mouth and sucking your fingers after. Torturing him.Â
âWe canât,â You insisted, with nothing but mischief in your eyes as you looked at him. âYou made these rules yourself, remember?â You chuckled when he groaned again when you straddled him properly.Â
âI donât give a shit about rules.â He hissed, nuzzling your neck. Slowly, he kissed up and down your neck. âI just wanna taste you. Thatâs it. Just a taste.âÂ
Thatâs how he found himself on his knees, face in between your thighs. His skilled tongue making you whine and whimper as you tugged on his hair. Bucky hummed in appreciation the more he tasted you.Â
âCome on daddyâs face, babyâŠâÂ
Thatâs it.Â
Bucky decided he would go see you the next morning. He would drag you back home if he had to, but he wouldnât spend another day without you. Who did you think you were? No one just tosses him aside like this. Heâd remind you who he was and then youâd both go home right away.Â
â
Bucky woke up to a thunderstorm. Weather around here was unpredictable. He got out of bed and immediately looked outside to find your bakery empty. No customers in sight because of the heavy rain, lightning and thunder. The golden light was on though.Â
He decided it was time to go have a talk with you. He promised not to lose his temper. He would go in there calmly, talk it out with you. Ask you what the fuck you are doing here, and then heâd take you home.Â
But that ended up not happening.Â
Bucky crossed the slippery cobblestone street, walked into your comforting, sweet smelling bakery and froze. He froze right there at the entrance.Â
As did you. Standing there behind the wooden counter, oven mittens in your hand and apron in another, you stared at Bucky with nothing but pure shock and surprise on your face. A thousand thoughts, mainly questions, crossed your mind.Â
What is he doing here? How did he find you? Why is he dressed casually like a local, wearing soft colours instead of his usual suits? How long has he been here? What is he doing here?Â
You let out a little gasp. âBucky?âÂ
Wrong move, apparently. Because his demeanour changed in a nanosecond. His calm and collected-ness was forgotten instantly. Jaws clenched, with a murderous look in his eyes, he walked closer, more like charged at you, and around the counter before you could even get a word out.Â
He had you pinned to the nearest wall before you could process it all. Knocking down a framed picture in the process. Towering above you, he looked like he was beyond pissed.Â
âBucky, Iâ,âÂ
âShut up.â He hissed, voice cold with bitterness and anger. He watched how you shivered when he pinned your wrists to the wall on either side of your head. âShut the fuck up.âÂ
He leaned closer, chest pressing against yours leaving no space in between. He closed his eyes and sighed for a moment, trying his hardest to see reason but he was angry. So angry he couldnât think.Â
âWho the fuck do you think you are?â He spoke with such a low voice that you trembled against him, causing him to tighten his grip around your wrists, surely bruising them. You didnât care.Â
You winced, âI can explain.â Fuck, youâd missed him too. It had been months since you last saw him. He was just as handsome as you remembered. His hair was a little longer now, his beard a little thicker. But he made your heart race just the same. âPlease Bucky,â You whispered, âlet me explain everything to you.âÂ
âNo.â He growled before pressing his mouth to yours, angrily. Like he wanted his kiss to hurt. And it did.Â
His rough facial hair scratched your skin, his teeth nibbled on and bit your lips. His hands damn near crushed your wrists in his strong grip. And he didnât give you even the briefest second to breathe. He kissed you just like how he imagined he would do once he found you. Ravenously. Pouring everything he felt into it. Desperation, anger, hurt, obsession. He couldnât get enough.Â
âBuckyâŠâ You gasped against his lips when he finally pulled away. Breathing fast, you tried to get a look at him but he just seemed even more angry.Â
âTurn around,â He mumbled, forcing you to turn around anyway. Fuck, the sight of you in that long, flowy, sundress was doing things to him. He was never this bothered when you used to parade around in your little see-through dresses, but somehow the sight of you in this pink, floral dress was making him act like a caveman.Â
His movements were rash and angry. He almost tore your dress off of you while he shoved his rough hand in between your legs and touched you where you desperately wanted him to. You whined and trembled against the cool wall when he slid a finger in, fucking you with it while he hissed into your ear.Â
âI should punish you for what you did to me,â His deep voice made his chest rumble against your back. âI should tie you up and fuck you however I want.âÂ
Your dress was partially off, bunched and only hanging on around your waist. Being so dishevelled made this even dirtier. You were moaning by now, hoping the heavy rain would blur your actions from anyone who walked by the shop. Or god forbid, walk in.Â
âHow dare you think you can just leave me?â He demanded, sliding another finger inside you and making your body come alive.Â
You were embarrassingly wet at this point, and the sounds your body made as he finger-fucked you were lewd. But you couldnât get enough.Â
More, more, more. You mentally chanted.Â
Bucky wasnât having the silent treatment, so he smacked your thigh to get your attention. You yelped. Your skin stung as he smacked it again, on the same spot. Harder this time. You cried out even louder as he kept taunting you. âAnswer me, you fucking brat!â His lips brushed against the back of your neck as he spoke. âWhy did you leave me?âÂ
You cried as he kept fucking you with his fingers you even as you came. His fingers sliding in and out with ease now. The sounds you made were wanton. âYou⊠you left first.â You tried to argue. But failed miserably.Â
He chuckled in that dark and dangerous way of his. âI left for work.â He said, âAnd I promised you Iâd be back.â He reached deeper inside you, curling his fingers just enough to make you mutter incoherent things. âWhy didnât you wait for me?âÂ
âPlease, please, pleaseâŠâ You begged. âPlease I need to come, Bucky please.âÂ
âOh?â He chuckled again, slowing down his movements purposely. âNo one touched you, huh?â He playfully bit on your exposed shoulder. âYouâre so fucking wet itâs dripping down my hand, babygirl.â He boasted. âIs it because no one has touched you these past few months? Hmm?âÂ
âYesâŠâ You had tears streaming down your face, and you nodded breathlessly. âPleaseâŠâÂ
But instead of making you come all over his fingers, Bucky pulled away for a brief moment. You couldnât see him, but you could hear him undoing his trousers. And moments later, he was rubbing the tip of his cock against your wet folds. You shivered in pleasure.
âIâm gonna teach you what happens to people who think they can run from me, babygirl.â He growled as he pushed his cock into you, making you cry out loud as he stretched you out.Â
After months of not having him, right now he felt huge inside you. Just like that, memories of nights spent with him came flooding back in. You moaned as his fingers found your clit again, rubbing it in sync with his thrusts.Â
His hand gripped you by the hips, holding you against him as he sped up into you, fucking you like he hated you. Like it was punishment. He dipped his head into the crook of your neck and licked, and bit on your skin as he fucked into you relentlessly, earning more and more moans out of you each time his cock stroked your walls.
âDid you think Iâd never find you?â He asked, fucking into you. âI bet you thought youâd gotten rid of me, hmm?âÂ
Youâd missed him too. He could tell by the way you were starting to clench around him already. Bucky nibbled at the skin under your ear and you lost all control you had left. Your thoughts became cloudy and all you could focus on was how good he felt inside you.Â
âSee, it didnât have to be like this, babyâŠâ he mumbled angrily against your skin while he fucked you like an animal, âI could be nice and gentle with your body, but you just had to be a fucking brat and leave me with no warning.â He spat, growling in your ear as he pounded into you, your chest slamming into the wall with each thrust. It hurt in the best way.Â
âYou feel so fucking good, baby,â He moaned against your ear and the sound sent shivers down your back. Your legs started to shake as he quickened his pace, pounding into you mercilessly.
The pleasure, the pain, the heat of him⊠was too much and you couldnât hold back anymore.Â
âBuckyâ,â You choked on your words as you came undone, walls clenching around him, and a loud moan erupting from your mouth as he made you come hard. It was almost blinding.Â
His thrusts became irregular as he came right after you did, cock throbbing against your pulsating walls, moaning out loud when he felt your walls pulsating violently around him. âFuck, fuck, fuck,â He came while biting down hard on your shoulder. So hard that even you cried out, still coming down from your high as you felt him spill deep inside you.Â
That bite on your shoulder hurt. And like a chain reaction, everything began to hurt. Having him here hurt. Memories of being with him in the city, in the dark rooms of that club hurt. Realising how fast your life changed hurt.Â
You didnât realise you were sobbing quietly until you heard Bucky apologising profusely. Suddenly no longer angry. No longer feeling betrayed.Â
âFuck, baby. Iâm so sorry.â He kissed that sore spot softly, his bite mark on your shoulder repeatedly as he wrapped his arms around you, securing you in the comfort of his embrace. âI donât know what came over me, babygirl. Iâm so sorry, please look at me. Hey, hey,â He pulled away and turned you so you faced him, still with tears in your eyes. âBabygirl, Iâm so sorry.â He whispered, wiping your tears away, then kissing your face repeatedly.Â
You remained like that for a few minutes. Arms wrapped around one another, standing there against that wall while it rained like hell outside. Bucky didnât stop apologising.Â
âIâm sorry, I shouldnât have been an animal like this with you, Iâ,âÂ
You cut him off finally, âShh, itâs okay.â You pulled away from his warm chest to look up at him. âI needed this.â You said, sniffling as you gently cupped his rough cheek, caressing his face with your thumb. âI needed you like this.âÂ
He just hugged you close again, kissing the top of your head. âIâm sorry.â He apologised one final time. âIâll listen, I promise. Iâll listen to whatever you have to say.âÂ
You smiled faintly at him. âThen I should lock up down here and we can go upstairs. I donât want to scare my neighbours by risking them finding us like this.â You looked down at your partially torn dress and Buckyâs unbuttoned trousers.Â
Much to your surprise, Bucky said, âYou go ahead, Iâll close and lock up.âÂ
You frowned at him even as you desperately tried to get the top of your sundress to cover your chest. âYou wouldnât know how toâŠâ You trailed off as realisation set in. He was a calculated, smart man. He didnât just apparate on your doorstep with no planning. âYouâve been watching me.â You stated, raising an eyebrow at him.Â
Bucky gave you a rare, guilty look.Â
You sighed and shook your head. âI guess I chose this life by getting involved with you.â You gave him a faint smile. âAlright then, lock it. Leave the key in the little basket by the door.â You started walking towards the stairs, then turned around again and said, âMake sure the windows are properly locked too, because of the rain and stuff.âÂ
âYes maâam,â Bucky nodded.
You smirked at him.Â
With that you took the stairs and Bucky watched you go with a fond smile on his face. No one ever ordered him around. He hated it. But coming from you, he quite liked it.Â
Bucky chuckled at himself because never in his life had he ever imagined he would one day be closing up a bakery in a small town, all for the woman heâs obsessively in love with. But he didnât mind it one bit.Â
After following your instructions and double checking the windows, he made his way upstairs as well. Again, he didnât know what he expected your place to look like â and all that spying only allowed him glimpses of your apartment â but he never expected your space to look soâŠÂ
Pink. With occasional gold accents. Pale pink couch, the one you often fell asleep on while watching TV, and fluffy white pillows and rugs to go with. Paintings hanging on even paler pink walls. The kitchen he couldnât quite see but he assumed itâd have to be all white. Pink dog beds, with fluffy balls of brown fur sleeping on them â wearing pink collars no less.Â
He couldnât see your bedroom from the living room given the door was closed but given the pink, fluffy robe and socks you wore he could imagine just how pink it must be.Â
âItâs so girly.â He commented, as if surprised. Maybe he was a little. After all, he knew you as the seductive goddess he met almost every night at the club. He never realised that it was all just a show, that it was all just a persona at work. In a way, stepping into your space felt so intimate. He liked it.Â
You chuckled. âCoquette, please.â You corrected as you handed him a glass of red wine while he took a seat beside you. He did look a little out of place in your apartment, a dark and broody man like him. But then again, he was here and thatâs all that mattered.Â
He turned to look at you and couldnât resist holding your hand and pulling you onto his lap again. âCome here,â He said, âIâve missed you.âÂ
As you straddled his lap, your robe exposed some of your shoulder and Bucky saw the very noticeable bite mark he left on you. He grimaced when he saw it. He placed his wine glass to the side and traced the bite mark with his thumb carefully.Â
âIâm sorry, babygirl.â He whispered, leaning in to nuzzle your neck and kiss the bite mark. And breathe in your scent. Fuck, heâd missed it so much. âYou smell a little different. Fruitier.âÂ
You giggled when his hair tickled your skin. âI made blueberry compote earlier this morning. Perhaps thatâs why.âÂ
You could feel him smiling against your skin. Then he pulled away to look at you. His hands shamelessly slid under your robe, eager to touch your skin. Relishing it this time, not in a feral hurry like he was earlier. He seemed visibly calmer too.Â
âWe used to spend hours like this at the club, remember?â He spoke, and immediately you were overwhelmed with nostalgia.Â
Hours, days, weeks, months. Some days back then you would wake up in the morning already excited to see Bucky in the evening. And it wasnât because it was all sexual. So many nights all you two did was drink, laugh and talk about everything. He once told you that apart from Sam, you were his only real friend.Â
Bucky kissed you, breaking you out of your reverie surely thinking of the past as well. It was a slow, gentle kiss. It was consuming you. His hands caressed your thighs which were still a little sore from earlier. You winced in pain when he massaged the spot where he spanked you.Â
Bucky pulled away from the kiss, apologising again as he kissed down your chin. âIâm sorry, babygirl.âÂ
You smiled at him after taking a sip of your wine. âStop pretending as if we were always vanilla or that this is scandalous in any way shape or form.â You chuckled as you leaned in to whisper in his ear, âWe both know this was nothing compared to how we used to be.âÂ
Bucky smiled, a little sadly. âI missed you.â He repeated. âTell me,â He said, âTell me everything.âÂ
You finished your wine. âWhat do you want to know?âÂ
âWhy did you start working at the club?â He caught the look of sadness that suddenly appeared on your face upon hearing the question.
âI⊠I had to drop out of uni because my grandparents fell sick.â You explained. âMom and dad were travelling for work at the time, and I was the only one who could take care of grandma and grandpa. The treatments and all ended up costing a little more than what we had so I needed a job that paid well, I also needed one that would allow me to be flexible with my time so I could take care of my grandparents.âÂ
Bucky nodded, âHence the club.âÂ
You nodded in confirmation.Â
âYour parents never intervened? So you could finish your education?â He questioned.Â
âNo.â You said, almost emotionless. âWhen they found out what I was doing, where I was working to earn the extra money we needed⊠they kind of disowned me. And vowed to never talk to me again.â You chuckled, humourlessly.Â
âThey donât deserve you.â Bucky said quickly, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you close. âYou were so brave baby, I wish you wouldâve told me all of this.âÂ
You slid your fingers into his hair and massaged his scalp gently. âYou were already taking care of me.â You said, âYou mended my heart a little each night when I saw you.âÂ
âI wish I couldâve done more.â He kissed along your collarbones, then froze again as if he remembered something. âI almost forgot,â He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a sleek black box. âI got you something.â Then clarified, âWell, I got you this months ago. I wouldâve given it to you had you not run away from me.âÂ
You rolled your eyes at him, âI didnât run from you, Iâ,âÂ
He cut you off with a finger on your lips. âTell me about that part in a minute,â He opened the slender black box to reveal the red diamond choker inside. âI had this made for you.â He watched your face intently.Â
âBuckyâŠâ You hesitantly reached for it, running your fingers over the beauty of it. It was a simple design. Elegant, timeless. Way too expensive. âI canât take this,â You began protesting, âItâs too much.âÂ
Bucky made a face and said, âOh shut up.â He was already clasping it around your neck before you could protest any further. âItâs a gift from daddy,â He whispered against the corner of your lips. âYou deserve it, babygirl.âÂ
When he pulled away to look at you, his heart almost broke again at the sight of the tears in your eyes.Â
âWhat is it?â He asked, wiping your tears away for the second time today. âIs it that ugly?âÂ
You laughed through the tears. âNo, itâs the prettiest thing I own.â You sniffled. âThe only piece of real jewellery in fact.â You leaned in and kissed his cheek. âThank you.âÂ
âRemind me to get you a whole collection.â Bucky pulled you closer and kissed you deeply.Â
Then it turned into something more and by the time the afternoon rolled around, the two of you had lost count how many times youâd made love on your pink couch. Slow touches and cuddles, and soft kisses always resulted in the two of you fucking again.Â
â
In the late afternoon, while snacking on random things Bucky realised you still hadnât explained how you ended up here.Â
âGrandma and grandpaâs bakery.â You explained, watching the rain pour outside. âThey left it to me. They died within weeks of each other,â You said with a melancholic smile on your face, âI always knew that would happen. They loved each other too much to live without one another for too long.âÂ
You turned to look at Bucky who pulled you onto his lap again and held you as tightly as possible. You werenât crying this time, but being held felt nice.Â
You continued, âI had funerals to plan, I had to pack up my life and move all the way here, I had to take on the responsibility of the bakery and renovate this apartment. And you were already gone at the time soâŠâ You sighed. âI didnât know if I should leave a note or not. I didnât know if you were actually coming back orâ,âÂ
âI would never abandon you. I thought you knew that.â Bucky said, a little annoyed at that. âI made you a promise, did you notâ,âÂ
You couldnât help but argue, âYeah well, I didnât know if what we had was real enough for you to come back to.âÂ
Bucky frowned. âBabyâŠâÂ
You gave him a small smile, and pressed your forehead against his, rubbing your noses together. âI know now. It is.âÂ
When you finally pulled away from his addicting embrace you said, âIâm gonna get started on dinner. You can shower in there,â You pointed at your bedroom door as you got up from the couch. Bucky tried to grab you again but you pulled away laughing. âThe weather is clearing up, we can have dinner outside on the patio.âÂ
You threw him a wink and made your way into the kitchen.Â
Bucky finally got up and walked into your bedroom. Just as he imagined, the place was all white, gold, and pink. He actually laughed when he walked into the bathroom and found it pale pink as well. Heâd grown to love it too by now.Â
â
You were busy at the stove, making your best seafood pasta, when you felt strong arms wrapping around you from behind.Â
âHowâd you like my bedroom?â You asked, smirking already as you pictured him in your very girly space.Â
âItâs very pink. The bed looks comfy,â He whispered into your ear, âIâm gonna fuck you in it later.âÂ
You chuckled and passed him another glass of wine. As you turned to face him again, you couldnât help but laugh out loud. There he was, one of the scariest men you knew, standing in your grandma-core kitchen, wearing a fluffy white robe with pink clouds on it.Â
Bucky rolled his eyes, âOh donât comment on it. I can already hear Sam laughing his ass off and heâs not even here.âÂ
You laughed even harder before you kissed his cheek. âIt suits you.â You said. Then you handed him a couple of plates and pointed at the patio which could be seen from the kitchen window, âCan you set the table?âÂ
He finished his wine and then mumbled on his way out like a grumpy old man, âFirst close the bakery, now set the table,â He shouted from outside, âYou know, if this whole thing was your elaborate plan to hire me as your domestic helper, you couldâve just asked, babygirl.âÂ
You laughed at him from inside the kitchen. You shook your head as you watched him. Wearing your fluffy robe, setting the small table on your patio. The view of the ocean from that patio was to die for, and the setting sun was just sublime. The golden lights youâd hung above the cute little dining area added to the cosy atmosphere. Now with the weather a lot nicer than it was hours ago, you could hear the small town coming alive again. Voice and laughter, children cycling down the cobblestone.Â
And Bucky. Bucky was here too. Winking at you from the patio. And you thought your life had ended when your parents disowned you. You scoffed at the thought. Then you thanked whatever god was listening for bringing Bucky back to you.Â
âÂ
During dinner, Bucky filled you in on what he was up to while you were gone. And you did the same. One bottle of wine turned into two, then you and Bucky laughed at random things while you did the dishes.Â
Then you found yourselves in your bed. And like he promised, Bucky made love to you there as well.Â
His muscular body hovered above yours. He looked down at you with nothing but love and desire in his eyes as you undid the ridiculous robe to let his cock out. He was hard already.Â
âThink I like you a lot in this robe.â You teased.Â
Bucky laughed before leaning in for a kiss again. He nibbled along your skin, from your mouth to your neck as he parted your legs and slid into you. Â
You gasped as your walls welcomed him perfectly. He was nice and snug inside you, stretching you out in a way that had you whining and whimpering under him in no time.Â
Bucky laced your fingers together and pinned both your hands above your head on your pink covers as he sped up into you. Your eyes rolled back once he started moving in and out of you. Taking his sweet time, loving the way his warm skin rubbed against yours.Â
He leaned in and kissed your lips again, groaning and panting against your lips as he fucked you slowly. âI love you.â He breathed against your mouth. âSo fucking much.â He kissed along your skin and moaned into your ear as he sped up. âIâm sorry it took me so long to say it.âÂ
âOh Buck,â You smiled up at him, âI love you.âÂ
âYouâre mine.â He whispered, leaning down to kiss you as he made you come again.Â
âAnd youâre mine.âÂ
âÂ
You woke up some time in the middle of the night, thirsty after all that wine from earlier. But the moment you sat up to get out of bed, Bucky woke up too. Asking in his groggy voice, which you had never heard before but concluded that it was kind of hot, âWhere are you going? What is it?âÂ
You smiled and kissed his forehead while getting out of bed, âJust thirsty. Iâll be right back.âÂ
Bucky got up after you, getting out of bed as well. âIâm coming too.â He said, âI worry this girly room might engulf me if you leave me here alone.â He joked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he followed you out and into the kitchen.Â
Truth is, he didnât want to be apart from you for even a second.Â
You handed him a glass of cold water while you put some water to boil to make tea. Some green tea should put the two of you right back to sleep, you thought.Â
So there you were in your cosy kitchen, wrapped in a soft blanket. Bucky leaned against the counter watching you. He was shirtless, just in some white, cotton pyjama pants that you lent him. They didnât fit him at all but something about him in your clothes made him seem adorable.Â
You were both quiet. But you could feel Bucky thinking. He looked like he was trying to find the right way to ask you something. You didnât know what. But he had that little frown on his forehead. You wanted to kiss it away.Â
âWhat is it?â You asked.Â
Bucky avoided your eyes, choosing to stare at the floor instead as he asked, âDo you think⊠I mean, would you ever come back home?âÂ
Ah. The few moments of silence which followed were heavy. You didnât like how that question put some kind of metaphorical distance between the two of you.Â
So you took a few steps and leaned into him. You placed your hands on his muscular, toned chest and said, âThis is home, for me.â You gave him the truth. âThat city was never home now that I think about it.â You smiled faintly, âThe only good part was you.âÂ
Bucky nodded. âSo,â He began, then stopped to clear his throat and spoke again, âYou wonât ever leave this place?âÂ
You slid your hands up across his skin, feeling the warm, strong muscles underneath your palm. You traced his collar bones, then his neck and finally cupped his face in your hands. He wrapped his arms loosely around your middle.Â
âI love it here, Bucky.â You stated. âItâs quiet, and peaceful. It looks boring at first but itâs what Iâve always wanted.â You said. âPlus my grandparents left me this, itâs all I have of them.â You paused for a while, hating that look of hurt in his ocean blue eyes. âI wonât leave. This is my home now.âÂ
Bucky was quiet. Even his breathing was slow.Â
You let go of him, took a step back and said, âMaybe you should head back.â It felt like the words sliced you from the inside. It hurt to even utter them. âYou have a life there.â You gave him a sad smile. Followed by a faint chuckle. âUnless you want to take up fishing then Iâm afraid thereâs nothing for you here.âÂ
He scoffed. âThereâs you.â He said as if that was more than enough.Â
âBucky.â You warned.Â
He shook his head, then reached for his phone which heâd forgotten in the kitchen earlier tonight. âSam will probably fly out here to beat me up when I tell him.â He spoke, none of what he said made sense to you though.
âWhat are youâ,â
âAnd heâll have to work twice as much. But heâll do great, I know. Heâs Sam after all, strongest man I know.â Bucky carried on, ignoring your questions as he typed away on his phone. âIâll do as much as I can from here, maybe fly back to the city once or twice a year to show my face.âÂ
âBucky,â You warned again, âWhat are you talkingâ,âÂ
Bucky continued, cutting you off each time you tried to get a word in. âIâll have to call my people, actually I have a lot of phone calls to make ifâ,âÂ
You cut him off this time, stepping closer to him again and grabbing him by his broad shoulders. âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
Bucky gave you a lovesick smile. âWell if youâre not going back to the city, neither am I.â He answered. You froze. He continued. âIâll have to buy us a bigger home somewhere around here. Weâll keep the apartment and bakery of course, but maybe we could use some staff to help with maintenance and to keep the bakery running.âÂ
He made a mental, makeshift plan while you had silent tears streaming down your face.Â
He continued, âWeâll get you back in uni, whichever one you want and whichever offers distance learning because thereâs no way Iâm letting you live on some campus away from me.â He paused, then said, âIâll have to actually take up fishing. Maybe Iâll buy a few boats, you know I always wanted to be a yacht broker.â He sounded almost⊠hopeful. âRetirement sounds nice.âÂ
You sniffled. âBuckâŠâÂ
Bucky kept talking while he gently caressed your back. âIâll have to learn French,â He groaned, âAt this grown age.â He added. âIâll have to know what's a chocolate croissant and whatâs a pain au chocolat if I want to occasionally help out with the bakery. I canât be uncultured while my wife is this connoisseur, you know? The locals will laugh at me.âÂ
âWife?â You questioned through tears and a faint, barely there smile.Â
He rolled his eyes. âBaby, Iâm wearing your clothes, sleeping in your girly room, eating off of your floral plates.â He explained, âIf you donât marry me, I will lose my reputation.â He joked.Â
You laughed, and sobbed as you threw your arms around him, hugging him as tightly as you could.Â
âYou donât have to do this.â You spoke through tears. Your heart felt so full, you didnât know how to handle a man like Bucky changing the course of his life for you. All for you.Â
Bucky hugged you back, kissing the top of your head. âI want to.â He said, âI have to. Otherwise youâll run away again.â He teased.Â
You laughed quietly. âI wonât.â You said firmly.Â
âGood,â He sighed, squeezing you tightly in his arms before letting go. âNow I have to tell Sam.â He looked genuinely worried.Â
You giggled, then leaned in to kiss his cheek. âTell him in the morning.â You whispered, your hands already trailing down to the waistband of the pyjama pants.Â
Bucky chuckled before leaning in to kiss you, deeply. âOkay baby,â He whispered, forgetting everything else as he got lost in you all over again.Â
He made love to you right there in the kitchen, sliding in between your legs as you sat on the edge of the counter. Slow and gentle. Kissing you softly, making a mess of you as he made you come over and over and over again. Whispering against your heated skin, your wet, open mouth, âYouâre mineâŠâÂ
âAll yours,â You answered, holding him tightly. Your nails scratching down his back, your skin burning in all the best ways as his beard scratched it each time he kissed you.Â
This time, he made you a different promise.Â
âIf you chose to run again, you better run for your life and pray I never find you, babygirlâŠâ He whispered into your ear as he slid inside you again. His cock made it hard for you to focus on anything else but you tried your hardest to hear him out. âBecause I wonât be this kind if I ever have to hunt for you again.âÂ
You laughed, but ended up moaning as he bit down on your other shoulder this time. Marking you as his again.
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Now or Never
Pairing: Best-Friend!Bucky x Virgin!Reader (fem intended)
Word Count: 6.2K (it was supposed to be a drabble oops)
Summary: Based off the prompts "You know my door is always open for you, right?" and "You're already wet sweetheart." for my milestone event, requested by nonnie.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY, mentions of a bad date, explicit p in v sex, oral (male receiving), fingering, swearing, bucky talks a lot in bed, weed and alcohol consumption. (if I missed any, please let me know)
A/N: thank you so so much to @bucksangel and @itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare for beta reading for me, i love you both so so much.
Masterpost || Bucky Masterlist
You sat in your car, frustration and disappointment rolling off of you in waves.Â
Another bad date, another guy just obsessed with hearing himself talk and not once allowing you to get a word in. That topped with how he called you a prude at the end left the worst taste in your mouth.Â
You didn't want to go home to your empty apartment, already sick of the silence filling your car, so you scrolled through your contacts, thinking who would be up for hanging out with so little notice.Â
Your lip found its way between your teeth as you passed your best friend's name. You weren't sure if he'd be busy or not, or if he'd be in the mood to hang out, but seeing him would help your mood. Plus. . . you blanched at the image that clouded your mind. Maybe he could help with your little problem - if you had the guts to even ask.Â
You pressed the dial button before you could talk yourself out of it, waiting for him to pick up as you chewed on your nail.
Just when you were about to hang up, giving up for the night, the tone clicked and his voice filtered through the speaker.Â
"Hey Peach," His voice was gruff and you could feel some of your frustration ebbing away already, "What's going on?"Â
"Hey, Buck," You sighed, "Are you busy?"Â
"Not currently, why?"Â
"Can I come over for a minute?"
"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?" He chuckled. You could hear him shuffling through what you assumed was his kitchen, the opening and closing of cupboards sounding through the little speaker.Â
"I was." You didn't give him anymore than that, and he was only silent for a small moment before he hummed.Â
"Alright, get your cute butt over here so you can tell me all about it," He ordered and you couldn't help the heat that grew in your skin at the compliment. "Want me to pack a bowl too?"Â
You giggled at that before agreeing. "After today, please. I'll pay you back for it."Â
"How many times do I gotta tell you not to worry about that?" He laughed, "Now get over here. Drive safe."Â
"I will." You hung up the phone with a sigh before starting your car and heading over to his place, but not before stopping and picking up a bottle of wine on the way.Â
It wasn't long before you were hiking up the steps to the house he rented. It was small, and not in the best neighborhood, but he didn't have to worry about sharing walls with anyone else and it was bigger than your apartment, so you didn't mind. Plus, you knew he'd never let anything happen to you.Â
He pulled open the door before you had a chance to knock, giving you a grin that was equally empathetic as it was smug. He liked to relish in the fact that he always knew guys weren't going to be good enough for you, telling you before every date you went on that it'd be a waste of time.Â
But that didn't mean that he was happy you weren't having a good time.Â
"Come on," He reached his hand out for you, "Let's get you giggly again."Â
You chuckled at that before landing the bottle of wine in his outstretched hand, the raise of his eye brows pulling up the corners of your lips.Â
"Super giggly is the goal then." He stepped away from the door, letting you in before closing and locking it behind you.Â
"You sure you don't mind me dropping by this late?"Â
He scoffed at that, leading the way to his kitchen and pulling out two wine glasses, "You know my door is always open for you, right?"
You shrugged, "I know that, but still, you can always tell me no."Â
"Now, Peach, why would I do that? I'm not going to say no to hanging out with my favorite person." Heat spread through your skin again at his words, and the teasing wink he threw your way.Â
You didn't mind that he flirted with you, whether flirting was his intention or not, you weren't quite sure. But either way, it made you feel somewhat seen. Liked.Â
"I thought Steve was your favorite person," You lifted yourself onto his countertop, hissing at the cold that met your thighs. You cursed the version of yourself that decided shorts were a good idea. "It'd be a shame if he heard that wasn't true."Â
"He knows where he stands with me, don't worry." He handed you a poured glass, clinking his own against it before leaning against the opposite counter. "Now, do you want to tell me what happened now, or do you want to smoke first?"Â
You chuckled at that, taking a sip of your wine, "How about I tell you while we smoke, then by the time we're good and high, I don't have to think about it anymore?"Â
He gave you one of his little grins, nodding his head. "You got it."Â
You followed him outside, getting comfortable in the large papasan chair as he plugged in the string of lights hung over the small porch. He got comfortable in his seat before offering you the bong and a lighter, letting you take the first drag.Â
It didn't take long to fill Bucky in on what had transpired on your date. How Mark didn't even try to act interested in anything you had to say. How he'd made you meet him at the restaurant instead of offering to pick you up, which in the end ended up being a silver lining because you didn't have to ask him to drive you home.Â
You'd gotten to the part where your date had called you a prude and what you'd told him to cause that comment, and the words caught in your throat. You'd never told Bucky you were a virgin, not that it mattered, you knew he wouldn't judge you for it. It was just something that never came up.Â
Maybe it was what happened tonight, the comments and the way your date acted afterwards, that made you not want to tell him. Or maybe it was the pity in his eyes that had grown since you'd started your story. Or. . . or it could've been the rather not small bit of your heart that belonged to him already that stopped you. If others didn't like that you were a virgin in your twenties, and didn't want to be with someone so inexperienced, why would he?
He caught on to your hesitation, setting the bong down as he turned to face you with his brows pulled forward.Â
"What happened?" He asked, and you looked to your lap, pulling your feet under you and wrapping your sweater around you.Â
You could tell him, you knew he wouldn't judge you, wouldn't tease you for it. You knew that, so why was it so hard to tell him when you told anyone else without a care in the world? You sighed, barely meeting his gaze.Â
"Promise me you won't judge me?" You whispered and he leaned forward.Â
"I'd never judge you for anything. I promise."Â
You nodded, more to yourself in reassurance to let the words out. "The only thing he either heard me say about myself, or that he decided to pay attention to, was the fact that I'm a virgin," You refused to meet Bucky's gaze as he went still, "That seemed to get his attention because then he started assuming I was going home with him after he pretty much ignored me all night. Like I was some prize to be won. A trophy."
You took a breath taking a small glance at Bucky to see his eyes trained on your face, but no emotion peaking through his features other than his fists clenched in his lap, knuckles white.Â
"When I told him I was just gonna go home, his attitude shifted again and he proceeded to call me a selfish prude." The words rang in your head again, his mocking tone clear in your ears before you forced yourself to push it out.Â
Bucky still hadn't said anything, his red eyes locked on your form, tucked into your chair as you reached for your wine glass. It wasn't until you'd taken a lengthy sip and had the cup nestled in your hands in your lap that he spoke up.Â
"You deserve better than that," He started, "And I'm sorry that he treated you like that, Peach."Â
Looking over to him, you saw the sincerity in his eyes, the heaviness in them as he refused to look away. You shrugged mumbling that it's fine before looking down to your wine glass again. "I don't really want to dwell on it."Â
"Okay," He angled his head to catch your eye, giving you a soft smile. "You just let me know when you want me to kick this guy's ass and consider it done."Â
You laughed at that, clutching your glass in your lap so it didn't fall. He smirked at you, seemingly pleased with himself for getting you to laugh as he leaned back in his chair.Â
"Can I ask you something?" He asked after a moment.Â
Your focus zeroed in on him, his arm thrown over the curved back of his chair, one of his legs folded under the other, his free hand resting on his thigh as he studied you. You swallowed around the dryness in your mouth and nodded.Â
"Is there a. . . specific reason you're still a virgin?" He asked. You could tell he wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable, he was genuinely curious.Â
"I guess I was scared at first," You started, remembering how you felt in high school when your best friend told you about how she'd lost her virginity. The idea always seemed daunting, like it was something you were supposed to do to 'become an adult.' But it was intimidating. "I didn't want to force it, wanted it to be something natural, I guess."Â
"And you haven't had anyone to give you that chance?"Â
You stilled for a second, shaking your head.Â
He hummed, at your silence, or your answer, you couldn't tell, but he fell quiet after that, staring at the trees in the yard.Â
You finished your glass of wine and set it aside, you fingers beginning to slightly numb in the cold before you tucked them into your legs, your mind starting to get fuzzy. You couldn't tell if it was the wine or the weed starting to kick in that made you ask, "Is it a bad thing?"Â
He whipped his head towards you, his brows pulled together in confusion. "Being a virgin?" At your tentative nod, his face softened and he shook his head, "Not at all."Â
"Then why do people act like the guy tonight whenever they find out?" You muttered and he sighed, shifting so that he was leaning his elbows on his knees.Â
"Maybe it's intimidating, being someone's first."Â
Your eyes refused to leave his, your nerves starting to warm as you asked, "What about you?" You asked, readjusting in your seat to angle yourself more towards him, "Would you be intimidated?"Â
He simply stared at you for a moment before shaking his head, "No." There was something about the way he said it, the roughness of his voice and the confidence in his short answer, that had you trying to subtly clench your thighs together.Â
You hated to admit it, but you'd thought about it before. Hell, you thought about it on the way over. About sleeping with him. About his rough hands on your skin, what it would feel like to have his lips on yours, his fingers in -
"You okay?" His voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked back to him, heat rising up the back of your neck. You went to tell him you were fine, that you just wanted to get a drink, maybe watch a movie, but a voice in the back of your head grew too loud to ignore. "Peach?"Â
The voice told you to ask him for it. To ask him to be your first. You trusted him with your life, you'd trust him with taking your virginity too. You know you would. But you couldn't ask that. What if he said no? What if he was mortified? It wasn't something you could just tell him to pretend you didn't ask for, that's not how that worked.Â
He was still staring at you, allowing you to have as long as you needed before you told him whatever it was that was going through your head.Â
Now or never, the voice reminded you, and you took a breath, steeling yourself for the inevitable rejection you felt you knew he was going to give you.Â
"I'm over it," You muttered, and before he could ask what you were talking about, "I don't want to be a virgin anymore." He watched you, unsure if you were finished speaking yet, but when the words died on your tongue, he nodded.Â
"Okay," His voice was rough and hoarse and dangerously quiet as he waited to hear what you wanted to do about what you'd said.Â
"I trust you," You whispered, "More than anyone." His eyes widened just a fraction as you stared at him. Your hands gripped your legs as you mustered up just enough courage to get the words out, "Would. . . would you be my first?"Â
 The confusion fell from his face, concern taking its place. He cleared his throat and his voice was dangerously low, âIs this the wine talking?âÂ
Your heart fell, you knew you shouldnât have asked. You knew. Yet you asked anyway. You let out a shaky breath, moving to stand. âI shouldnât have asked, forget about it.â You stood, moving to pick up what needed to go inside when his hand grasped yours.Â
âThatâs not. . .â He started and you turned to him, he was on the edge of his seat, eyes wide as he stared up at you, âI mean is that something you truly want? Itâs not just the wine?â
You took a moment to look at him, to really look. Youâve held his stare so many times before, but youâd never seen the look in his eyes that was there now. Like it was taking everything in him not to jump up and do what youâd asked.Â
Like he â like he wanted it just as much as you did.Â
You faced him completely, placing yourself between his knees and resting your hands on his shoulders, his hands falling to wrap around the backs of your thighs.Â
âI just donât want you to regret asking me,â he muttered, his fingers drawing patterns across the backs of your legs, âI donât want you regretting me.âÂ
Your hands settled at the sides of his neck, the stubble on his chin scraping against your thumbs as you pushed to angle his head up to you again. You leaned down, your nose brushing against his as your breaths mingled between you.Â
âBucky. . . " You started, but he shook his head.Â
"Wait," It was a gasp, like he was fighting himself, "You need to know that if you let me have you," he looked up at you and you were finally able to see how his pupils had blown, the blue of his eyes almost completely swallowed, "I don't plan on letting you go. Ever."Â
Your body froze in his hold, his fingers tightening on your legs. "What are you saying?"Â
His eyes softened on you and a small, nervous smile grew on his lips, "That I've wanted you since we met, but didn't want to scare you off." He tugged on your legs, pulling you into his lap, your knees landing on either side of his hips. His hands moved up to your lower back, his thumbs barely moving under your shirt, but stopping before he went any further. "I've been pining after you for years."Â
It was like you were snapped back to reality, the raspiness in his voice and his calloused fingers brushing against your skin bringing you back from your stupor. But there were no words to convey how you felt, at least not any you could form at the moment. The only thing your brain and your heart were telling you, was to press your lips against his.Â
So you did.
His fingers tightened against your back, pressing you into his chest as his lips moved in tandem with yours. It was slow at first, the soft nips to your bottom lip and the way his tongue hesitantly slid across your bottom lip. Your lips parted and the second your tongue met his, a groan rumbled through his chest, his hands sliding up your back under your shirt. Your hips ground down of their own accord and he swallowed the whine you let out as your core was met with the growing bulge under his jeans.Â
Time seemed to slow, and by the time you pulled back panting, eyes locked on his, you weren't sure how long you'd been there. But by the way your heart was soaring, you knew you didn't want to be anywhere else, ever again.Â
"We should go inside," he whispered, bringing up one of his hands to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing against your swollen lips. "I don't want the neighbors hearing you."Â
~~~
You two didn't last long apart once you pried yourself from his lap. The second you both set everything on the counter inside, his hands found their way to your skin again, pushing up the back of your shirt as he pulled you flush with his chest, his feet guiding you to his bedroom.Â
The edge of his bed met the backs of your knees, and he gently pushed you back, crawling up with you as you nudged your way up to his pillows. His lips attached to your neck, gently biting where it met your shoulder, his breath fanning against your skin and sending shivers down your spine.Â
"I'll take good care of you," He breathed, pulling back to look at you, "I promise."Â
You nodded, reaching around to shove his shirt up his back, "I know, I trust you." He smiled at you before pushing your shirt up, over your head and your arms. and dropping his head and dragging his lips across every inch of skin he could reach.Â
 "Arch your back for me?" He asked, only lifting his lips enough to get the words out before they went back to nipping at your skin. You did as he asked, his fingers slipping through the clasp on your bra and undoing it. He helped you out of it, sitting up to pull it up from your arms and throwing it to the side to join your shirt.Â
You looked up to find his eyes locked on you and you couldn't help the sudden nervousness rise in your chest as he stared at you. His hands caught your arms trying to move to cover your breasts and he shook his head.Â
"Don't hide," He said, "You're fucking gorgeous."Â
You giggled, the butterflies in your stomach from his words mixed with the substances in your system making it impossible to fight it off and he smiled down at you.Â
"There she is," He whispered, "God, I love your laugh."Â
"Heavy with the compliments tonight aren't you?" You breathily asked, the heat in your skin rising as he removed his shirt, his muscled chest seemingly glowing in the warm hue of the lights.Â
"I've been waiting to give you some very specific compliments," He leaned over you, "So you better get used to it."Â
His lips captured yours again as his hands trailed down your stomach, his fingers gently pushing at the waistband of your shorts.Â
"Can I?" He asked, his fingers stopping.Â
"Please."Â
He chuckled at the eagerness in your voice before he pulled away and helped you out of your shorts, pulling your panties with them. He dragged his fingers down your hips and your thighs as he took you in. You could see his chest rising and falling at an uneven pace before he looked up at you.Â
"You're already wet sweetheart," He rasped, "Can I play with you?"Â
The fact that you were bare before him and he was still asking for permission sent even more heat to your core and you could feel yourself clench around nothing as your breath hitched in your throat. You nodded sitting up on your elbows to meet his lowering mouth with your own, earning a moan from him as you dragged your teeth along his bottom lip.Â
His fingers were sure in their movements as they met your folds, brushing up to circle around your clit before sliding back down to circle around your entrance, your hips bucking into his touch. He pulled his mouth away as he slowly slid a finger in, pressing the palm of his hand down into your clit.Â
"Oh I love this," He said, his head dropping down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, lightly dragging his teeth across it before swirling his tongue around it. He pumped his finger a few times before slowly adding a second, and growling into your skin as your fingers threaded through his hair, pulling at the strands, his fingers curling up, like he was searching for something.Â
"What?" It came out as a breath, but you couldn't bring yourself to speak any louder as you tried to keep the noises that built in your chest to a minimum. You knew they were normal, but you didn't want to seem as desperate as you really felt.Â
"I love that no one else has had the pleasure of seeing you like this, that no one has touched you," He said the words into your skin, his lips brushing against your nipple as he spoke and grinning when his fingers brushed against a certain spot.Â
"Shit - Do that again," the request broke through your lips in a whine, but you were too focused on him to notice. He grinned, curling his fingers into that spot again, pulling another wail from your throat.Â
 "I love that no one's been inside you, that they don't get to have you," He angled his fingers to brush against that spongy spot over and over as he pumped them in and out, "But I do."Â
He kept his fingers pace agonizingly slow, to not drive you over the edge so quickly but you couldn't help the movement of your hips trying to get more friction. His other hand came up to your chest, gently pushing you down so you were comfortable.Â
"I'll go slow at first," He started, his fingers slowing even more, if that was possible, "Let you get used to it - to me, before I ruin you," His fingers began to spread, pushing your walls apart as they dragged across them before coming to a halt. "Do you know the traffic light system?" He asked, and at your nod he grinned, "Tell me."Â
You swallowed around the breath catching in your throat, "Red is stop, green is go, yellow is slow down." His smile grew.Â
"Perfect, I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with, so you use that if you need to, alright?" When you nodded, he went back to pumping his fingers in and out of your cunt, noticing you practically biting through your lip to keep quiet and he tsked, his free hand moving to pull it from your teeth, "Let me hear you, Peach."Â
The second you let your lip go, a lewd moan filled the air. You went to bite your lip again, to hide the noises that were waiting to get out, and Bucky shook his head as his thumb found its way to your tongue, softly pressing down to keep your mouth open.Â
"Don't hide those noises from me," He practically begged, "I need to hear you." It was the tone of desperation that took over his calm confidence that had you nodding, promising not to hide anymore. "Is there anything you want to do?"
"What do you mean?" You breathed, trying to hone your focus on him.Â
"Well, it's your first time," He started, pushing his fingers as far as he could and smiling at the moan you let out, "Was there anything you wanted to try?"Â
You thought back to the times you shamefully allowed yourself to fantasize about him. How he'd feel on top of you, in you. How his hips would feel driving into yours, the fullness you'd finally experience. How the weight of him would feel against your tongue.Â
You felt your skin get hot as you looked up at him, trying not to cover yourself with how self conscious you suddenly felt. But when your eyes met his, all you saw was patience and adoration as he watched you, so you swallowed down your nerves.Â
"I want to taste you," You muttered and he groaned, his fingers stilling in you, "and ride you."Â
"Shit," He smiled at you, "You're really not that innocent are you?"Â
He pulled his fingers free of you before you could answer, and you whined at the now empty feeling in between your legs, a whine that dragged on longer as you watched him lift his fingers to his mouth. His eyes rolled back and he moaned as he tasted you.Â
"Fuck," he groaned, "I knew you'd taste good."Â
He pulled his body up from yours, ridding himself of the last of his clothes, and you couldn't help but look down, eyeing the length of his cock as it stood at attention. Unable to stop yourself from reaching out, your fingers brushed against the underside and the shiver that clearly ran up Bucky's spine gave you a boost of confidence.Â
You crawled across the bed to where he stood at the end, fighting the nerves that were tingling through every part of you as you slid to the floor in front of him. The carpet dug into your knees as you kneeled, looking up at him through your lashes. His hand came down to trace your cheek before cupping it.Â
"You don't have to if you don't want to," He said and you smiled.Â
"I know, I want to." You eyed him before moving your hand to grip him at the base, holding him still while you dragged your tongue up the underside of his cock before wrapping your lips around the head, the taste of his skin and the precum leaking from the tip flooding your tongue.Â
"Oh, fuck," He gasped and his hips stuttered, pushing himself past your lips just a bit before he caught himself and pulled back. "Shit - sorry."
Instead of pulling your mouth off of him, you looked up at him and hummed before taking him further, watching his eyes flutter closed and roll back as your tongue slid along his length. His fingers twitched at his sides like they were reaching for you but he was fighting himself. You reached up with your free hand and pulled his grasping fingers towards the top of your head where they hesitantly laced into your hair.Â
He breathed a heavy sigh as he gently tugged on your hair, the whine you let out around him causing his hips to jolt again.Â
"Fuck, Peach," He rasped, his voice hoarse as he looked down at you. The sound of his voice and the way he looked at you alone was enough to have you clenching around nothing, but what he said next was what got to your head, sending you into a type of haze you'd never experienced before. "Unless you want me to fuck your pretty face, you gotta stop doing that."Â
 Your free hand reached around his thigh, gripping it as you hummed again, the vibrations clearly running through every one of Bucky's nerves as he shuddered.Â
"Is that what you want?" He asked, a cocky grin growing on his lips as he looked down at you, your head bobbing, "You want me to fuck your pretty mouth before I fuck that pretty pussy?"Â
A high pitched whine rumbled in your throat and his hips bucked forward, his hand in your hair pulling your head forward. He was gentle with it, only pushing himself so far back in your mouth, doing his best not to make you gag, all the while a string of curses and compliments showered you as your eyes watered and a mix of your spit and his precum had started to slide down your chin.Â
He pulled your head back, pulling himself from your mouth, the stiffness in your jaw a welcome sensation when accompanied by the heavy look in his eyes. He took your hand in his, helping you move back to the bed and settling in between your legs as he kissed his way down the side of your neck, his hand wrapping around the other side. His teeth grazed your skin, sending chills through your spine as you reached around to grip at his back.Â
Pulling his head from your neck, his voice just above a whisper as he asked, "Are you ready?" You nodded, but he shook his head, "I need to hear you say it, baby, you gotta tell me." A bloom of warmth spread through your chest at the care exuding from the furrow in his brows.Â
You wrapped your hands around the sides of his head, your thumbs brushing along the lines of his jaw, "Fuck me, Bucky," You whispered, "please." He nodded before capturing your mouth with his once before sitting up a bit and reaching over to his nightstand, his hand coming back with a condom and a small bottle of what you assumed was lube.Â
Once he had the condom on, he popped open the cap of the lube, pouring some in his hand and spreading it over himself, then getting a bit more and looking at you. "It's a little cold, but it's gonna help, I promise."Â
"Okay," You nodded and braced yourself for the chill that came when his fingers rubbed the lube through your folds, your skin sensitive to his calloused skin.Â
"Spread your legs baby," he watched your legs open for him, "that's it. . . wider." Your legs spread as far as you could, "Such a good girl all spread out for me." He smiled before lining the head of his cock up with your dripping entrance, slowly pushing in with a hiss.Â
The stretch burned and your hands shot to cling to his arms, your nails leaving crescent shaped indents in his skin. His eyes locked with yours, "Breathe baby, breathe," He strained, "I'm right here." You let loose a tight breath through your nose as you held his gaze. He kept pushing in, taking his time until he was all the way in, a strange type of fullness taking over you - an addicting kind.Â
He dragged his fingers across your skin, kneading the muscles in your hips, legs, and arms as he waited for you to adjust, talking you through it with a whole array of compliments. When the burn from the stretch turned into a need for him to move, you shifted your hips and loosed a moan when the head of his cock brushed against that same spot his fingers had expertly found earlier.Â
A breathy chuckle fanned your skin as he smiled down at you, "Ready for me to move?" At your quiet confirmation, he began slowly rocking his hips into yours, the drag of his cock against your walls addicting - but you needed more.Â
"M-more. . ." you panted and he smirked.Â
"More what?" He asked, not stopping the slow drag movements of his hips as if he knew it was driving you mad, which he probably did if you were being honest.Â
You swallowed your nerves, "Faster," he brushed that spot again, "fuck - harder."Â
He nodded, moving his hands to the back of each of your knees, holding your legs open, "Can I have my way with you? You can ride me later?" You forgot about that, about saying you wanted to ride him. You did, you wanted him under you writhing for you like you were for him now, but you weren't sure you could handle taking over right now so you nodded. You just wanted him to make you feel good and to fucking move already.Â
"Yes," You whined, trying to move your hips against his again, but with how he was holding your legs, you couldn't move much. "Just move." You didn't care how desperate you sounded now, you were going to go insane if he didn't do something other than slowly drag himself in and out, stopping just before hitting that perfect spot.Â
"Say please." You scowled at him. Sometimes you forgot how cocky he could get, though this was the first time his cockiness made you even more needy for him.Â
"Fuck," You muttered, the pressure growing low in your belly, "please Bucky."
"I got you," He pushed you knees closer to your chest as he leaned over you, thrusting into the base, hitting that spot that made you see stars before pulling out just as quick and doing it again.Â
It felt like the air had been sucked out of your chest as you held his gaze, his hips unrelenting in his thrusts, the sound of skin slapping filling your ears in between the moans that fell from both of you.Â
"God," He panted, "You feel so good around me, I always knew you would." He dropped one of your legs, reaching up to palm your breast and taking the pebbled nipple in between his fingers, "Fuckin' made for me, weren't you?"Â
A loud moan tore its way through your throat as you reached for him, your hand finding his neck, nails raking down to the middle of his chest, his hips driving home even harder. You could feel that somewhat familiar crest quickly approaching, knowing the feeling from your nights alone where all you had were your fingers. But you didn't want this to end. You wanted to stay here, his cock filling you up and hitting that one spot over and over.Â
Something in your face, or maybe it was the way your breathing became more controlled, told Bucky that you were trying to fight it off as long as you could and he smirked before slowing down just enough to let your knees go and tell you, "Wrap your legs around my waist."Â
You quickly followed his instruction as he leaned over you, grabbing the headboard with one hand and circling your clit with the thumb of his other. You couldn't hold back the almost scream that erupted from your chest at the sensation and he smiled.Â
"Don't fight it, baby," He coaxed, "Just let it happen." He quickened the pace of both his hips and his thumb, trying to push you over that edge. "C'mon, Peach," he was practically begging now, "Let me have it."
The thread holding you back was fraying quickly, ready to snap and he knew it.Â
Your breath hitched and he smirked, still keeping his pace as he muttered, "Give it to me."Â
The thread snapped. Pleasure crashed into you, a roaring in your ears as your body tightened under his, your walls clenching around him as he continued his determined thrusts. Your hands grasped at his back, your nails raking down his skin. Your legs locked around him.Â
You were sure you screamed.Â
"That's it, baby," He panted into your ear, his hips becoming sporadic, "Keep coming - fuck - keep gripping me like that." You weren't sure how exactly to do what he was asking, but in your daze, you did your best, tightening your muscles as much as you could.Â
He gasped, gripping your hip tight enough to bruise you were sure. His hips stilled and his head buried into your neck as he shouted.Â
He gently rested his weight on you, pushing you into the mattress and trailing small kisses along your neck and shoulder where his head still rested. He waited until you'd caught your breath and your eyes were clear before speaking again.Â
"Are. . . are you alright?" He asked, worry replacing the pleasure that had been on his face just moments ago.Â
You gave him a dizzy smile, nodding, "I'm perfect."Â
A large smile grew on his face as he chuckled, his hand raising to cup your chin, pulling himself forward to gently press his lips to yours. "Good," he muttered against your lips, "You make such a cute face when you cum, did you know that?"Â
You felt your skin heat as you tried to shove his now laughing face away from you. "Shut up!"
"What?!" He roared, "It's true!" He grabbed your hands in his, pinning them above you. He was still smiling as he looked down at you, his pupils still blown wide, "I wanna see you make it again."Â
As always, thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments, and likes are all appreciated!
If you enjoyed the story, please consider supporting me on my Ko-fi
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consequences
a/n: I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS CAME FROM BUT HERE YOU GO
also i'm more than happy to continue this if yall want more, just LET ME KNOW
other works
âYou want to what?"
"To open our relationship."
You stare at him in disbelief, clutching the soft blanket in your hands. There's a sharp ringing sounding through your eardrums and everything around you slows. He keeps talking, his voice breaking through the barrier of fog that encompasses your senses.
"I want us to remain honest with each other, but this is the only way to keep our relationship healthy."
He steps away from the kitchen counter, wearing the sports jacket you bought him for your sister's wedding.
"I want the both of us to disclose when we start dating someone else. That's the main boundary, we can hammer out all the ground rules later. Right now, I'm going on a date, so uh," he pauses as he checks his reflection in the mirror beside the door one last time, "don't wait up."
You try to focus on his words, but no matter your efforts you weren't able to process anything. His keys jangle in his grip and you faintly recognize the sound of the door slamming closed and his footsteps echoing down the empty corridor of your apartment.
"I still can't believe he said that to you."
The singular ice ball hits against the sides of your glass with each tilt of your wrist. You take a long drag of the dark liquor before laughing sardonically.
"It's been six months of him parading his dates around." Another sip, your work skirt digs into your thighs painfully. You distract yourself by reaching for a peanut from the nearly empty bowl. "And what's worse is that he still expects me to be the doting wife that he comes home to every night!"
The bartender refills your glass while you sneak another peanut. You card your fingers through your hair as you continue to rant. A dull throb radiates in between your brows so your eyes slide closed as you take deep breaths.
"Well, I can't imagine you're doing so bad yourself."
You hum questioningly at the man, focusing your gaze on the dark-haired bartender, his stubble dusting his sharp jaw as the muscles work beneath the skin. His eyes haven't left you since you sat down in front of him.
"I see you in here." You begin to pick at the skin around your nails and he nudges a bowl of peanuts in your direction. "Men come up to you all the time. You've been on dates too, right?"
You reach for a peanut and crack open the grainy shell, biting the inside of your cheek. Your bartender laughs incredulously and then presses his hands into his side of the counter to lean over toward you. The cloth he tosses over his shoulder must be damp because the fabric of his white button-up is darkened there.
"Focus on me, Peanut."
Your eyes snap to his, unable to keep the overflow of expression from brimming beneath the surface. Your heart cracks further as he visibly softens, crumpling against the counter to cover your hand with his. A tense silence stretches between the two of you, charging the air with unwelcome emotions.
Your bartenderâs spare hand cups your jaw and swipes away the glistening tears fleeing down your cheeks. Sniffling loudly while straightening in your seat, you pull away from his touchâeffectively stopping yourself from melting into him.
Youâve worked so hard to make this shitty dive bar your safe place, youâll be damned if you ruin it with a fling.
âI donât even know why Iâm wasting tears on this whole thing.â You take three deep breathsâwhiskey and apples invade your senses. The man in front of you tilts his head to the side while drying a few crystal glasses.
âYouâre avoiding my question, Peanut.â He turns briefly and you try to figure a way out as the cups clink softly. âYou have been dating too, right?â
Your teeth trap your bottom lip, peeling off the thin layers of skin. You purposely avoid his eyes, doing less than nothing to hide your answer.
âJesus, Peanut. Whatâs stopping you?â
You huff, focusing your attention on the patrons around you. Thereâs noticeably less than there were when you first arrived. The bar guests go about their business, underlying emotions kept close to their chest and out of sight to everyone else. You wish you could be that way, instead of sewing your heart to your sleeve for anyone to rip pieces from.
âI--" You hesitate, twirling your glass, watching as the ice fights to keep up with the sudden movements you force on its surroundings.
"Some small part of me still loves him. No matter how much he hurts me with this whole open relationship bullshit. I'm still thinking that one day he'll wake up and remember that I've been his loving wife and partner for the past six years. This can't be my new reality. It just can't. He's meant to be my partner for life, not my partner who has really good friends. Not my partner with a girlfriend or some fuck buddy across town."
This is the can of worms that you'd hoped to keep locked away from the Commando's dive bar. What you've held close to your chest every night you slink past the blonde bouncer, Steve. The information you never let slip to the six-foot-five bartender with the metal arm. And now, you can't seem to stop the words from leaving your mouth.
"He's supposed to be my husband. Why isn't he my husband? Is it me? He said that we would talk about what the reason was, but I can't get him to sit down with me. I can't even get him to reply to a text, much less answer questions about our relationship."
You spit the last word before downing the rest of your drink in one go. Bucky stands patiently as you let loose every emotion that you've bottled up for the past six years. Further in the bar, someone shouts for the last call.
"Why don't I date? Because I love him. Because outside of him, I don't know who I am. I don't date because I've been with the same man for almost a decade and I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't see past where I'm at right now. There is no future for me outside of the hell that I find myself in now. I can't date because I want to be there for when my husband remembers that I exist. I want to be there for him like he wasn't for me because I know the novelty of his flings will wear off soon enough. And maybe that makes me worse than him, but I don't know if I have the energy to care anymore."
There's now a heavy silence covering you and your whole body slumps because of it. Despite feeling the biggest breath of relief of getting those emotions out in the open, you now have to deal with what they mean. You were always taught that saying your emotions out loud would only lead to more issues, but here you fucking are. Sometimes these things are unavoidable.
"I call bullshit."
Your jaw drops as your bartender rocks away from the counter. You flounder as he starts performing closing duties. You stare at Bucky's back, slightly distracted by the muscles working underneath the tight material.
"Did you just bullshit my feelings?"
Bucky turns halfway, eyebrows raised, "Yep."
Your bartender plucks the glass in front of you and drops it in the sink on his way to the cash register. If you were in a whole state, you'd smack back with a witty comment, but you're tired.
"You can't bullshit my feelings."
He holds a stack of twenties in one hand and he pins you with the same expression as before.
"Uh, yeah I can."
He continues to count the register and tosses a goodbye to the other bartender. A long lull stretches between you. Now it's just the two of you in the bar, and that must have been what he was waiting on because it's only now that he really talks.
"Peanut, how long have you been coming here?"
You furrow your brow at the question, not sure where he's taking his line of questioning.
"I don't know, four months?"
âFour months, twenty days."
Bucky's retort is quick and final. A fact. Something he's committed to memory. You're taken aback by the heavy tone he layers between the syllables.
"And for those four months and twenty days, I've stood behind this counter and watched you wallow. I've watched you turn down proposition after proposition. I've had Steve throw out dozens of men for how they speak about you. I've sat back and tried to be the listening ear that you need because you're clearly going through a really difficult time. I've never been in the position that you're in and I'm not going to pretend that I understand the half of it."
He slams the drawer closed and rounds the countertop. His boots thud against the floor violently, stopping beside the barstool next to you. Your bartender leans down and swings your stool to face his before taking a seat.
"I've stood behind that bar and was able to listen to quite a bit. But what I can't have is you thinking that you're the issue."
His hand slips into yours, his thumb tracing the knuckles of your fingers. Tears begin to brim at your waterline again, but you refuse to let them fall.
"Peanut, you're the most loyal person I've met in recent years. You love fiercely and you hurt even harder. Hell, you've been with this guy for almost ten years and he's been fucking you over for the past six months and you're sitting in this bar defending him to a relative stranger!"
"But he--"
"You're husband took the decision away from you and then framed it in a way that made you out to be the bad guy. He put you in a nearly impossible situation because he knew you were too loyal to him to do anything about it."
"He didn--"
"Yes, he did."
Having it laid out like that by the one person you wanted to be kept away from all of it was eye-opening. Your shoulders crumple and a new wave of tears threatens to escape.
"Now, this isn't the best time, but I feel like in a situation like yours there's never going to be a 'right' time."
Bucky sits up straighter and sticks his metal hand out to you.
"Hi. I'm Bucky Barnes. I'm a retired Army Sergeant and I now work in the Howling Commandos bar. I've been your bartender for the past four months and twenty days. Over that time, I've grown to care for you, more than a bartender should. Because of that fact, I want to take you out on a date."
You suck in a breath sharply, immediately going to deny him, only for Bucky to cut you off.
"You don't have to give me an answer right now, Peanut. Just think about it and whenever you're ready, I hope I'm your first call."
You chew on the inside of your cheek, gnawing on the idea. You have grown fond of Bucky. He's become a sort of safety net for you these past few months. Going home has proven to be more and more of a chore so you spend hours on end in the Howling Commandos.
What if you and Bucky go on a date and you hate it? What if you date and you have a huge falling out? What if you--
"I can see the wheels turning, Peanut." He taps your temple with a cold metal finger. "What are you thinking?"
"What if we end up not working out?"
"What if we do?"
The question hangs. The implication is clear. You could spend hours going through the what-if scenarios, both positive and negative. You'll never truly know until you take a leap of faith.
"What would your boss think of you dating one of your new regulars though?"
You're grasping at straws, but you're really trying to convince yourself that taking that leap with Bucky would be the worst thing in the world.
"Peanut, I'll sell the damn bar before someone other than you tells me that I can't date you."
Your eyes meet his and all you can see is the adoration and sincerity in them. His thumb is still working over your knuckles, but it's also expanded to tracing aimless circles into the back of your hand. The cool metal is the only way you've grounded yourself to reality.
A slow smile spreads across your features, the first of its kind tonight and you both know what it means.
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Bucky Barnes Masterlist
Series
The Nanny MasterList
Summary: When Bucky Barnes hired a Nanny, he thought he was going to hire someone to take care of the kid. But when she starts, he knows that she is more than just a Nanny Fluff & Angst
Three chances Masterlist
Summary: Ilunga (Bantu) - Someone willing to forgive a wrongdoing the first time; tolerates it the second time, but refuse to accept it a third time. Angst
Get Off My Desk Masterlist
Summary: When you get a chance of a life time to go to Paris free of charge and the only stipulation is you have to go with your boss, Bucky to be a translator. Will you survive the trip? Or will James Barnes be the death of you? Mainly Fluff
One Shots
Baby
Summary: Bucky tries to take care of you when your sick, but what you have is a bit more permanent than a common cold. Fluff
Itâs my job
Summary: Itâs Buckyâs job to protect you, he knows this. But sometimes- it doesnât go as planned. Angst
Better Circumstances
Summary: You finally get your dream job, but some times thing happen at the worst times. And we all wish for better circumstances. Angst
Happy Anniversary
Summary: You try and cook Bucky an anniversary breakfast but it doesnât go as planned. Fluff
Secret Santa: Chocolate Chip Cookies
Summary: You need to cook a bunch of food for the Christmas dinner. But sometimes chocolate chip cookies make everything better. Fluff
I love you Dad
Summary: Sometimes Bucky needs you- and right now, he doesnât know what to do. Especially since his daughter is mad at him. Fluff & bits of angst
Braids
Summary: Bucky wants you to braid his hair. Fluff
Change of Plans Part one Part two
Summary: You had a life planned out with Bucky, but sometimes there is a change of plans. And sometimes, those change of plans leads to the best thing of your life. Angst & Fluff
Off for a while
Summary: Things have been off between you and Bucky and now you know why. Angst
Massages
Summary: You loved your boyfriend. You would do anything for him. It also helps that he gives the best Massage. Fluff
Lost Home
Prompt: âI donât care if you hate me, I donât care if you dislike me. But why would you cheat on me?â Angst
Kind StrangersÂ
Summary: The train is crowded and full of rude people. Good thing there is a handsome stranger to help you. Fluff
Crowded Train
Summary: When you are forced to go into work on your day off, you meet someone that changes you life forever. Fluff
The Baby
Prompt: âI wonât let anyone hurt youâ for @amarvelouswritings writing challenge Fluff
Iâll Never Be Her
Summary: You love Bucky, he doesnât love you. Angst
Comfy Pajamas and Good Company
Summary: You have had a long day and you donât realize you left you blind open, you neighbor getting to see your dance move. Why not invite him over? Fluff
Accidental Flirting
Summary: You and Bucky work together and your boss swear the only reason you are so busy is because the customers like watching the two of you flirt. Fluff
His Angel
Summary: You are Buckyâs angel and he would do anything to make sure you were safe. Pure Angst
The Phone Swap
Summary: You accidentally take Buckyâs phone instead of your when you leave the theater. Fluff
Slow Connection
Summary: You mess with Buckyâs internet connection in payback. Fluff
Missed Class
Prompt:â You were sick five minutes agoâ âBut Iâm not sick now.â Fluff
Black String
Summary: When the world tells you your soulmate is dead, but you feel it in your bones they arenât you though yourself into the study to find them. Fluff with a bit of angst
Little Addiction
Summary: You may have an addiction to coffee, and maybe a slight crush on the barista serving it. Fluff
Quick, Just Kiss Me
Prompt: College AU Fluff
Thatâs What Neighbors Are For
Prompt: Neighbor AU Fluff
Pumpkin Spice Season
Summary: Pumpkin spice is a thing, there is no denying that. Now its time for you and Bucky to figure out how BIG of a thing it is. Fluff
The Next Step
Summary: You and Bucky both decided itâs time to take the next step in your relationship⊠although, you guys have different ideas on how to go about it. Fluff
Baked Goods
Summary: Your neighbor Bucky loved to bring you bathes of baked goods a couple times a month. But when the treats start coming more often, you are determined to figure out why your neighbor is making you fat. Fluff & Angst
Candy Overload
Summary: Biker!Bucky always likes to make sure you guys will have enough candy for all the kids on Halloween, But sometimes Parents are hesitant of your husband due to his rough looks. Fluff
Beginnings and Endings
Summary: Life is full of beginnings and endings. And sometimes, you have to deal with those alone. Angst
He Finds a Treat
Summary: Bucky Goes to the ne coffee shop. While the cookies are good, its the cuter baker that pulls him in. Fluff
Captivated
Summary: When Y/N takes a job as a lifeguard, she knew there were bound to be cute guys all around. So what is so special about Bucky?
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đđš đđ đ§đšđđąđđąđđ đšđ đđ§đČ đźđ©đđđđđŹ, đ©đ„đđđŹđ đđšđ„đ„đšđ° @suzs-fic-library đđ§đ đđźđ«đ§ đšđ§ đ§đšđđąđđąđđđđąđšđ§. đđĄđđ§đ€ đČđšđź @flordeamatista đđšđ« đ«đđđđąđ§đ đđĄđąđŹ đđĄđ«đšđźđ đĄ đđ§đ đđŹđŹđźđ«đąđ§đ đŠđ đąđ đąđŹđ§'đ đ đđ«đđđ đ!
Monday
Tears are still drying on your face when you wake from the dream, sadness is a pit in your stomach that hasnât left you for the last year. It hadnât hurt this badly in months. You could still taste him on your tongue, feel his touch lingering on your skinâŠ
You reach over to the picture on the small table next to your bed, let your fingers trace over Buckyâs face. A year ago you had been in love, smitten with your life and lover. A year ago you were happy. That made sense though. A year ago, Bucky was still alive.
You sniff, wiping away the lingering tears, and let your mind drift back to the dream you had been having, an unpleasant mix of despair and desire rising up in you at the images in your head. Bucky enters the room, pulling the covers away from your prone body, laying himself next to you, his warmth enveloping you completely. You feel safe, loved, wanted. His fingers pulling your bed clothes to one side, those same fingers entering you⊠Itâs a very graphic dream, it feels almost like a memory. You shake your head a little, and then get up, leaving the coldness of the bed thatâs always half empty and head to the shower, turning up the water to almost scalding.
You still use the shower gel that Bucky had liked, the scent of it soothed you even now, like you still had him close by. You frown as you wash between your legs, youâre wet, and you feel almost sore. You hadnât slept with anyone since Buckyâs death, you couldnât move on from him, how could you? But it felt like you had-
Your hand soap falls off the side of your sink, startling you out of your wonderings, and you quickly finish up your shower and get out. Youâre drying off, wrapping a towel around yourself when you pick up the container and carefully place it back on the side of the sink. You never kept it near the edge of the sink, but maybe youâd knocked it closer when you were washing your face? You look up and stare at your fuzzy reflection in the mirror, the steam from the shower still misting one side of it in a wave.
Buckyâs scent is strong against your skin, clear as day, your eyes close to capture that moment in the dream again, where he held you as he made you come on his fingersâŠ
âMiss you so much.â
Your eyes open to your reflection, and that still misting mirror. You leave the bathroom before you can start crying again, and head to work.
Tuesday
Your apartment smells like Bucky again when you walk in, but then you had gone a little crazy with the shower gel this morning before heading to work, and youâd even found some of his cologne, spritzing just a little at your neck and wrists. Youâd awoken again feeling both desperately sad and desperately needy, it was an emotional cocktail you didnât appreciate. Maybe it was because it had been so long since youâd last been held by him, maybe it was because it was past the anniversary of his death, who really knew? All you knew was that after a year of total numbness, your body and emotions had gone into overdrive and your sleep was constantly filled with the almost too real feelings of Bucky's hands and mouth, his cockâŠ
You take off your shoes and head into the kitchen, making yourself some tea to calm yourself down, a thought barely passing through your head that you had more milk in the refrigerator than you remembered. You spend the evening trying to read, but itâs impossible. Your eyes stray to every picture of Bucky you have out, itâs like you can feel his eyes on you. Youâre alive and he isnât.
You get to bed and the covers are turned down. You mustâve forgotten to make it before you left.
Wednesday
The scent of cedar and spice is in the air, your eyelids flutter against the velvet black of the night, your curtains fluttering against the open windowâŠ
âYou feel so good, doll, I missed youâŠâ Your leg is hooked over Buckyâs waist, his cock is slowly thrusting in and out of you. The cold tips of the fingers of his left hand toy idly with your clit, âI missed this so much.â
âDonât leave me again, Bucky.â
âNever. I promise.â
The sun is shining through the curtains, the sound of the birds muffled through the closed window when you next open your eyes. Youâre exhausted even though you feel like youâve been heavily asleep, and again your heart breaks at the vivid memory of your dream. Bucky had always liked to make love to you that way, holding you against him, arms snaked around you, fingers and lips doing what they will to you. Bucky was a masterful lover, he could make such a position playful, sensual, or rough. Any of them suited you, because it was with him, you loved Bucky, more than you wanted to breathe most days.
Your day at work drags, your eyes feel like youâve been sleeping in sand, itchy and sore. You canât concentrate, you feel like everyone is watching you, even though every time you look up from your work, no one is staring at you, in fact no one is even paying attention to you at all, but the feeling of being watched persists nonetheless. Itâs unsettling, especially in a city like Manhattan where people can be watched, stalked, killed without anyone knowing what was coming until too late.
âSam?â
Itâs dark now, your apartment was freezing when you walked in, the window to your bedroom was open when you couldâve sworn you closed it. You were so tired though, maybe it had just been a stupid lapse in memory, but still, you were unsettled so you called Buckyâs best friend. You hadnât spoken to Sam since a few months after the funeral, youâd almost deliberately put him at arms length, refusing to engage with him, and Sam Wilson was Captain America now. He was busy, too busy to constantly try and make you talk to him, so heâd given up.Â
âHey, you, howâre you doinâ, sweetheart?â
âUmmm⊠not well⊠I mean, Iâm fine, I think, I just-â
âY/N? Whatâs wrong?â
âHydra is gone, right?â You blurted out the question, forcing the name of the terrorist organisation from your mouth even though it hurt to say the name of the people whoâd murdered Bucky, âYou and everyone else took them out after Bucky?â
Sam is silent for a minute, you can hear his breathing get choppy, but he coughs and finally responds, âAre you okay? Yes, Hydra is gone, for real this time.â
A year ago Bucky hadnât realised heâd been stalked by a small but terrifyingly smart fraction of the remainder of Hydra, not until it was too late. Theyâd followed him, mapped out his movements, and then ambushed him. Bucky had died in an alley, from multiple gunshot wounds to his body. It was so bad they wouldnât let you see him until the funeral, the open casket containing a body that looked so unlike the man youâd loved youâd broken down in front of everyone.
âI promise, Y/N. Sharon and I spearheaded that cleanup. Theyâre gone, theyâre never going to hurt you again, okay?â
âYeah, okay.â You rub the skin over your eyes, âIâm sorry, Iâm just tired, Sam. I havenât been sleeping well, I guess.â You think you can smell Buckyâs cologne again, you almost feel him at your back, a ghost of a memory as you speak his name into the earth, âI just miss Bucky. So much.â
âYeah. Yeah, me too.â
You spend a few minutes more talking to Sam, asking how Sharon is, how his family is, and then breaking the conversation off when you feel tears fall.Â
You fall asleep and dream.Â
Bucky is like an indistinct shadow as he slides into your room. He kisses you as you sleep until your lips part for him, and then he slides his cock into your mouth, in and out, in and out, his metal fingers on your jaw almost painful, holding you open for him until he comes down your throat.
âI wish you could talk to me instead of Sam, doll. Guess your mouth will have to do something else, huh?â
When you wake up on Thursday, your throat hurts, and your jaw aches. You have to use more shower gel than normal again to wash the scent of Bucky off you that you know shouldnât be there. The steam from the shower swirls around you, swirls around a space in the corner of the bathroom, bringing your attention to itâŠ
Your towel slides off the rail, and you almost slip. Heart pounding, you curse up a storm under the scalding water, and deliberately start to use your own softer scented shower gel instead of Buckyâs. When you get out, the bathroom door is open just a crack, the steam slowly wafting out. Your reflection is still fuzzy in the mirror, and that patch of steam still wafts over the same space as before. You feel too sleep deprived for someone who has technically been sleeping a lot, but you stare at that patch on the mirror, trying to tell yourself that it doesnât look like breath across a cold glass surface⊠that you donât feel eyes on you⊠that this corner of the bathroom doesnât feel cooler than the restâŠ
Your hand reaches out, to touch, to test, to give into the insane hope-
The mirror cracks, and you rush out of the bathroom, your shriek echoing off the walls. The remaining steam wafts from the open door, and you continue to stare into that corner, heart in your throat,Â
âBucky?â
Your heartbeat is like a drum in your ear, one second, two, threeâŠ
You hear a small squeak, shivers race down your spine as you search for the source of the sound, and your attention is drawn back to that mirror, and the words slowly being formed on the glass;
Hi Doll
The dressing table shakes as you back up into it, and you hastily pull on any clothes you can find, and you run out of the door, locking it securely, and rushing out and down the street.
Bucky is haunting me, ohgodohgodohgodohgod
Friday
âCome home, doll.â
You roll onto your front in your sleep, the hotel mattress is uncomfortable, but youâre too tired to wake up, not even for Buckyâs deep voice.
âI didnât mean to scare you, doll, come onâŠâ
Itâs too warm in this hotel room, but youâd been scared and desperate, paying for the first hotel that youâd seen. Youâd fallen asleep in the t-shirt and panties youâd been wearing, but even those clothes must be too warm, you can feel the t-shirt inching up your back, the air mercifully coolâŠ
âLet me make it up to you, doll.â
This is the only way to safely miss and mourn Bucky. He was only in your head, he isnât really haunting you, ghosts donât follow to second locationsâŠ
His lips are cool as they trail down your spine, over the curve of one cheek, and then the other. You let Bucky raise your hips from the bed, making it easier for him to pull your panties down your legs. Your knees donât hesitate to part, leaving yourself wide open and vulnerable to him, to his cool tongue against your warm pussyâŠ
Itâs a dream. It can only be a dream, so you stay asleep, your eyes closed, breath choppy, skin cold. Itâs a dream. Buckyâs dead.
Bucky was always so good at eating you out, his tongue and fingers could do things that would have you screaming and writhing and sobbing with bliss. Tonight was no different, but itâs a softer and gentler loving against your touch starved flesh, french kissing like heâs missed the taste of you, long fingers probing gently and eagerly, stroking and caressing until you come on a ragged cry into the pillow. You barely feel Bucky behind you, but you feel the head of his cock stroke through your folds, and you have to bite down on the pillow when he pushes home inside you. Itâs always a stretch to fit him inside, no matter how prepared you are. The cheap headboard bangs against the badly wallpapered wall as Bucky rides you, his fingers gripping your hips hard enough to send pleasurable waves of hurt through you. This time you donât hide it, you cry out your release loud enough for the people staying in the room next door to bang against the adjoining room-
You wake up. Itâs now Saturday.Â
Youâre still wearing the t-shirt and panites, and a weird mix of relief and disappointment rush through you. It takes too long to get out of bed, and youâre in too much of a daze in the shower to notice the soreness in your body, or how sticky you are in between your legs. Bucky was dead. No amount of dreaming or hoping or wishes would bring him back to you.
Sam knocks at the door of your apartment, and you can only manage a wan smile as you let him in,Â
âHi, Sam.â
âHey, yourself.â You watch as Sam attempts to be subtle in taking in your appearance, and the state of your apartment, smothering your smile as he does so. Youâd called him here, after all. Finally he stops and gives you a look, before pulling you into a hug that you sink into, âIâm sorry I havenât been around.â
âDonât apologise, idiot. Itâs not like you havenât been saving the world or anything.â
âThatâs not the point. I was your friend too, and I let myself-â
âItâs okay,â you pull away, smiling gently to let him know that you really werenât mad or holding grudges, âI didnât want anyone around. I let you go.â
âAre you okay? You soundedâŠâ Sam trails off, his eyes on the open window by your bed, and the fire escapes there, âYouâre keeping that thing closed, right? I know itâs warm right now, but yâcanât keep that thing open when you sleep, Y/N.â
âThanks, genius.â You roll your eyes, but your gaze strays to the open window, âI couldâve sworn I closed it. Iâm not sleeping so well right now, Iâm probably just forgetting it.â You turn to Sam, picking at a loose thread on the hem of your t-shirt, âI feel like heâs haunting me. I donât know why itâs happening now. After a year. Heâs in my dreams so much right now, and the other day, I thought-â You cut yourself off from telling Sam about the mirror. Or, more importantly, how the mirror wasnât broken anymore when you had returned from the hotel.
There had been flowers on your pillow though. Youâd carefully put them in water and left the pretty blooms on the table. Sam was staring at them right now.
âHaunting you?â
âThis last weekâŠâ Sam looks too concerned with what youâre saying, and you quickly force a smile on your face, âWow, Iâm really tired, Sam. I think Iâm gonna order a pizza and go to bed, is that okay? I would ask you to stay, but-â
âNah, itâs fine, Y/N, get resting, Iâll call you in the week, okay?â Sam squeezes your shoulder, and turns back to the fire escape, âYou can always come and stay in the tower for a bit if you want? For a building that houses hundreds of people, itâs surprisingly quiet.â
You hear something fall in the bedroom, and then a thump and a clang, and Sam starts towards the fire escape. Someone mustâve moved in one of the other apartments because you can hear steps on the metal staircase but you canât see anyone, even though Sam is glaring up through your open window. You pull him back in, and watch as he slams the window closed and locks it,Â
âIâll weld the thing shut, Y/N, okay? Keep it closed.â
âFine, Jesus, what is wrong with you?â
âNothing. Just⊠stay safe, please? Iâll be back in a few days, Iâll bring some of that Thai food you like.â
Sam heads out through the front door, and you lock it after him.Â
âBucky?â
Nothing.
You eventually fall asleep, and wake up disappointed. Your ghost didnât visit you.
Sam went to the top floor, found the apartment that was above yours, and without a care for common decency picked the lock and walked in. His gun was drawn, even though he didnât really believe he would need it, and he stepped carefully around the corner to the living room-
The gun was knocked from Samâs hands, he was pushed against the wall, a hand at his throat, but there was no one there, at least until Sam reached out and dragged the mask off his invisible assailant to reveal Buckyâs disembodied head,Â
âYou asshole!â Sam felt Buckyâs hold relax, so he took his moment and punched Bucky Barnes square in his selfish jaw. It was weird to see a head jerk back and ânothingâ fall against the furniture behind him and see it move on its own. Sam stayed where he was whilst Bucky glared at him, before slowly removing the rest of the tech prototype heâd clearly stolen from Starkâs tower, revealing Buckyâs bare chest - covered in bullet hole scars - and his legs encased in what looked like skin tight lycra pants. Sam couldnât help the sneer,Â
âNice get up, pervert.â
âDonât start. I had to see her, Sam.â Buckyâs voice was croaky, as it had been since the attack on him a year ago, âIâm healed now, I donât see why I canât-â
âWeâve been through this, you selfish sack of shit, Y/N is still in danger from Hydra! The only safety she has is that they think that she thinks youâre dead! How is she going to stay thinking that when youâre playing Casper the sexual deviant ghost?!â Samâs blood is pounding in his head, rage boiling his blood like nothing else, âYou have to stay away, Buck! You have to help us find the last of Hydra, and then you can come back. Y/N will hate you for doing this to her, but sheâll forgive you, so until then you have to wait!â
Bucky sighs, and pulls on a hoodie whilst Sam rants, then shamelessly takes off the ridiculous lycra pants and replaces them with some discarded jeans. Sam watches as Bucky runs his hands through his hair, a scowl on his face,Â
âI love her. Iâm not a⊠Y/N is my girl, you get that, right? But⊠fine. Iâll stay away.â
âThank you.â Sam wasnât sure if he believed Bucky. His friend had been missing from the safehouse for a month, and it hadnât even occurred to Sam that Bucky would come back here until Hydra were well and truly gone. He knew how much Bucky loved you, and he assumed the thought of you being hurt by Hydra would always keep Bucky away until it was safe. Heâd been wrong, and now he wasnât sure if he could truly keep Bucky away again now heâd gotten a fresh taste of you.
Sam had to try though. Right now you thought you were being haunted by Buckyâs ghost, which was better than being hunted by Hydraâs.
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Losing You - Bucky Barnes
a/n: i guess you could see this coming after all the gifs i reblogged recently, but i finally got around to catch up on the eps of TFATWS and now all i can think about is bucky⊠so here, take this cute little piece and enjoy some soft buck on this fine afternoon!
pairing: Bucky X Reader
warnings: TFATWS spoiler, blood, gunshot
word count:Â 1.2k
summary: You get injured when you try to save Bucky and he is mad at you for risking your life for him.
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âYou are so damn stubborn,â Bucky mumbles under his breath, slightly shaking his head as he focuses on the wound on your side. You hiss when he starts to stitch up your wound, the needle going through your skin over and over again as he closes the slit.
âI saved your life,â you grumble, reminding him that if you didnât jump into action he would have gotten a bullet right through his chest. He might be a super soldier, but he is not immortal and he seems to forget about that a lot these days. He doesnât answer, just shoots you a glare before his blue eyes return to the bloody wound on your side.
You had a pretty intense encounter with one of Karliâs people, he was big and bulky above already having the serum pumping through his veins. Bucky always tells you to leave the fighting to him, but the guy was about to end him when Buckyâs focus shifted for just a split second from his target. You were moving before you could even process what you were doing, pushing Bucky out of the way, earning yourself a battle wound as the bullet grazed your side, leaving a long slit on your skin.
A minute later Bucky won the battle and he would have captured the guy if only he wasnât more concerned about you, groaning on the ground, holding your hand to your side. Now you have to listen to his scolding for at least a day about how you shouldnât have gotten involved, even though you didnât die and most importantly, he is still alive as well. In your book, thatâs all that matters.
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The Hottest Avenger - Bucky Barnes
a/n: im warning you, i will probably not stop for a while with the bucky fics so⊠brace yourselves lol! also i wrote this before ep 5 came out so its placed in that time
pairing: Bucky X Reader
warnings: TFATWS spoiler, some violence? nothing extreme
word count: 1.8k
summary:Â Being locked together with Sam and Bucky brings the worst out of you, picking on each other constantly. Following an arguement Bucky accidentally calls you his girlfriend in front of Sam when your relationship was supposed to be a secret.
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âDid you fucking eat the last dumpling?â you accuse Sam, holding up the empty takeout box where you thought were one more dumpling, one youâve saved for yourself, but now itâs gone as Sam is eyeing you with his mouth full.
âThought it was mine,â he mumbles, his words barely understandable from all the food in his mouth.
Taking a deep breath youâre trying not to jump at his throat right then and there. Youâve been locked up together all damn day in the trashy apartment across the street from the building whereâs Zemo supposed to be hiding. Sharon had a tip about a possible place where he might be found, but youâve been waiting to no avail for now. Youâve been growing stressed and impatient. You lost track of Karli and her people and now you canât seem to find Zemo either. If it wasnât for the Dora Milaje, you wouldnât bother to be so after the asshole, but Bucky said if Ayo finds him first, he is dead and every useful information he holds goes to the grave with him so now you are forced to look for him. One failed mission has been following the other these days, that incompetent dickhead John is on the loose too after murdering that man in front of civilians and you feel like control has slipped out of your grip a long time ago. Now youâre stuck with Sam and Bucky in this crappy place, waiting by the window, watching out for Zemo and on top of everything⊠Sam ate your last dumpling.
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Prisoner - Bucky Barnes
a/n: hi everyone! i am really excited to share this with you, because this one was written for a writing challenge! it is part of @wkemeupâ âs 9k writing challenge and itâs the first time i take part in anything like this with a Bucky fic! not that i have many but im sure more is about to come lol! let me know what you thought after reading!
prompt: Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A]. Â
pairing: Bucky X Reader
warnings:Â blood, violence, mind controlling, just the usual jazz lol
word count:Â 7.8k
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Bucky and you were a pair made in hell. Only that he is the only one out of the two of you who really went through the deepest and darkest corners of it while you were basically just waiting in the lobby, as you like to say it.
He wasnât the only person HYDRA had plans with. Being an orphan from the age of four, you didnât have the life you probably deserved. Abducted at the age of twenty, you lived in cells and labs for years before they gave you the serum, turning you into a super solider, with determined plans to turn you into a kind of winter soldier 2.0, eventually wiping your head like his and turning you into the perfect assassin. Only that before they could start with the torture, you were rescued by none other than Captain America during a raid on one of HYDRAâs secret bases.
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Crash Course - Bucky Barnes
a/n: this one? im in LOVE with this fic and im not even ashamed of it. there is just something about the MC helping him get used to living in the new century and im a sucker for it. so please enjoy this fluffy piece!
pairing: Bucky X Reader
word count:Â 3.6k
summary: Bucky is a regular at the café where you work at and seeing him struggling with technology, you offer to help him, teaching him the basics while you are both thinking about taking it a little further than just a crash course.
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The time between the morning rush and lunch time is always quiet, the cafĂ© is almost completely empty, thatâs why Bucky prefers to go out during that time, tuck himself away in the corner of the small but cozy place, a black coffee steaming on the wooden table in front of him, his laptop or a book or his phone reserving his attention, whatever he decides to put his energy into that day.
Today has been a rainy day, therefore the morning was a lot quieter than usually, not many likes to make an extra trip for a coffee in the pouring rain, so youâve been enjoying the calmness, the soft jazz music playing through the speakers as you are putting away the freshly washed cups behind the counter. As if he has an appointment, Bucky walks into the cafĂ© with a laptop under his arm, his cap hiding part of his face, but you can still see the shy smile on his lips as he closes the door behind him, the little bell chiming for a second time at his arrival.
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Hey Daddy - Bucky Barnes
a/n: so this one is a little more⊠lighthearted? idk but it was based on THIS request!
pairing: Bucky X Reader
word count:Â 1.9k
summary:Â You join Peter and his friends for a game of Truth Or Dare but you wish you stayed in your room when MJ challenges you to do a task that will definitely out your secret relationship with Bucky.
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You totally forgot Peter would have his friends over for the night, so youâre slightly surprised when you find him with Ned and MJ in the kitchen, but itâs a pleasant one. Youâve been spending a lot of time with him, being the youngest of the adults in the tower, you developed a great friendship with the youngster and his friends.
âOh, hello guys! Good to see you again!â you beam at the three of them, Ned greeting you with a little wave and a stunned smile on his face. Peter has recently revealed that Ned might have a tiny crush on you, which you find cute. Though youâre more than a decade older than him, you find it endearing he is crushing on you out of all the amazing women on the team.
MJ nods in your way as she munches on her sandwich, if you didnât know her better youâd think she is annoyed by you judging by the look on her face, but youâve learned by now that this is her default expression, almost a happy one.
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Is it A Night With Him in Bucharest?
I NEED HELP FINDING A FANFIC
Itâs a Bucky and reader fic where they have a relationship when heâs in Romania then after civil war Bucky runs into her at a cafe I think or a park and finds out he has a daughter . Reader has a guy best friend that Bucky doesnât like in it . Itâs a series and I canât find it.
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REMINDER
a/n: iâve had this idea on my mind all weekend and finally got around to write it! just a short little oneshot of Bucky finally realizing he should make his move đ
pairing: Bucky X Reader
warnings: blood, gunshot
word count: 3.7k
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(gif is not mine)
Bucky hated Tonyâs luxurious parties, but as part of the team, he could just never avoid them, someone always came into his room and forced him to join the others, telling him it would be so much fun. It was never. He doesnât even know what he would find fun anymore, having his life back after all these torturous years, itâs hard to find what brings him happiness, but schmoozing with Tonyâs friends and the team and all the agents is just not his cup of tea. He would rather hide in his room, read a book or catch up with whatever show he has been watching lately.
The night he met you was a similar one. Steve was the first one to drop by his room, trying to convince him to get dressed and join the rest of the team for a drink, but Bucky resisted until his friend gave up and left, but then came Natasha. She just always knew how to play the strings to make him do what she wanted. After a bit of persuasion he finally agreed to make an appearance, though he made it clear he wouldnât be there too long.
After changing into a pair of dark jeans and a black long sleeved shirt that hid his metal arm quite well, he made his way to the party, already feeling grumpy that he had to socialize. It was just like the last time. He got himself a drink, talked a little to Steve, then Banner and Nat and then hid in the corner of the room, avoiding any new faces, not in the mood to introduce himself. He was about to sneak out and go back to his room finally when he first saw you.
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Another love by Tom Odell. Tell me that Bucky wouldn't send this to his girl when things were getting difficult for him emotionally
ANOTHER LOVE
a/n: no idea if this was meant to be a prompt but i couldn't stop thinking about it so i wrote it lmao
pairing:Â Bucky X Reader
word count: 1.9k
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Life hasnât been the fairytale either of you deserved. Things just donât turn out as perfect as they to in movies and sometimes you fall for the wrong person, too deep probably, and it makes you feel like you will never find the right one.
After everything Bucky had been through he fell for a woman for the first time in decades and though he put all his faith in her, she wasnât the right person for him. He was ready to give her everything he had and love her with all his heart, but she didnât want it. She didnât deserve it. Leaving him heartbroken when she left, thinking that maybe loving someone and be loved by someone is just not meant to happen to him.
Then you came into his life.
Being a nurse working beside Dr. Cho at the Tower, you ended up stitching him up quite a lot following his missions. Bruises, cuts, even bullet holes, youâve seen them all on his body and though Bucky hated to appear vulnerable, you somehow made him feel at ease when you were cleaning him up, humming whatever song you had stuck in your head that week.
You bonded over music from day one. As a person who likes all kinds and genres, you were his number one source when it came to modern music. You made him Spotify playlists every week, making him listen to the best songs in your opinion and he listened to them all. Not just because they really were good songs but because he was ready to do anything you asked him to. You had him wrapped around your finger in a blink of an eye, but when things were about to take a turn, he backed out. At first, you just thought you misread the signs and that he didnât even like you like that. But then you heard Banner and Nat talk about how Bucky keeps talking about you and that everyone in the Tower thinks that he is in love with you. So instead of letting him get away with it, you confronted him.
That was when he told you about the woman that hurt him before. The way she broke his heart and made him think that he is not worthy of being loved. And you listened to his every word patiently, though you wanted to smack that woman so badly for hurting such a wonderful man.
âJust because she couldnât appreciate your love, it doesnât mean that you are not worthy of receiving or giving love. Because you are,â you told him as your hands reached for his metal one, taking it between your palms. You knew how insecure he felt about it and you wanted him to know that you loved every part of him, even the ones that wasnât entirely made of him.
âI donât know if Iâm the right guy for you, Y/N,â he shook his head, doubting his worth once again.
âYou are, because I want you. And I know that youâll try your best to be the right guy for me even though you already are,â you chuckles and reaching up you cupped his face in your palm.
That day you made a silent promise to take it slow and just find your own pace with each other. You knew it wouldnât be easy, loving is already complicated enough, but Buckyâs state of mind was an even messier issue. However you refused to give up on him.
Weeks went by and your usual routine started to change slowly. Bucky didnât only come to see you when he had an injury to take care of, you went on dates or just hung out after your shift. You were always there when he returned from a mission and he never let you leave the Tower without him, he always walked you home, even if he had work to do.
Everything seemed to be on track. Right until one stupid fight ruined everything.
Sam always had a flirty manner in his act. He liked to chit-chat, compliment you, but it was always just friendly. However, when one day he and Bucky returned from a mission, both of them with quite a few injuries, they ended up under your hands as you worked on their wounds, cleaning and bandaging them.
âDarling, your hands are gifts from God,â Sam sighed when you applied a cooling gel to one of his burns before you covered the injured skin. âOr maybe you are an angel yourself,â he then added, making you chuckle.
âStop it, Iâm just doing my job.â
âAnd you are so damn good in it. Iâm one lucky man,â he grinned at you, but before you could say a word, Bucky jumped off the stool beside him and marched out of the room as if he was just triggered into being the winter soldier again. The door shut close behind him, he walked out without even glancing in your way and he left you all confused. You exchanged a look with Sam before you finished up his wounds and mumbling an apology you went after the grumpy soldier that just left.
Stepping out of the room you spotted him at the end of the hallway, sitting all by himself.
âHey, why did you leave?â you asked, sitting next to him.
âNo reason,â he answered without even looking at you, keeping his gaze at the tiled floor.
âThatâs so not true. I know something is wrong. Please, just talk to me!â you pleaded, placing a hand to his arm, but his eyes snapped at it right away and made you think you did something wrong.
âI was just not in the mood to listen to Sam flirting with you,â he hissed.
âThen why didnât you just tell him to stop?â you asked, knitting your eyebrows together.
âBecause⊠I donât have the right to act all possessive over you.â
Technically, he was right. You werenât boyfriend and girlfriend, but everyone in the Tower knew you were something. You wanted him to be possessive, to make men stop flirting with you because he thought of you as his. You were so close to it too, but now you felt like you were going backwards again.
âWell, you can easily have the right, Bucky. You know that,â you told him, praying he would take the desperate hint youâd been trying to send him these past weeks.
âY/N, stop,â he breathed out, closing his eyes.
âWhy? Would it be so hard to be more than just friends? Am I not good enough for you?â you asked, speaking thoughts youâve been harboring these past times even though your rationality knew they werenât true.
âYou know thatâs not the case!â he snapped, standing from his seat so you did the same. âItâs me, Y/N. Iâm the problem and you know that.â
âYou are not a problem, Bucky! How many times do I have to tell you that? Iâm not the one who broke your heart, I want to be whatever you need me to be, Bucky, but you are shutting me out! Iâm getting tired of telling you the same thing over and over again, because you donât seem to be listening!â you replied angrily, letting out all the pent up tension youâve been carrying around. âI feel like Iâm talking to a wall, you just keep ignoring what Iâm saying. And I want to be patient with you, I would do anything to make you happy, but I canât do this if you donât cooperate with me.â
You turned around and marched back into the room before he could say a word, leaving him completely stunned and in panic that he is losing you.
That day you went home without him for the first time in months. Not because he wasnât there to walk you home, Bucky waited for you at the hall, but then he was informed that you left early. It was a clear message to him that he needed to get his shit together if he didnât want to lose you.
Eating all your feelings away, you sat on your couch that night with your favorite ice-cream, watching reruns on TV, hoping to take your mind off of a blue eyed soldier, but you didnât succeed. He was all you could think about and the thought of losing him made you want to cry yourself to sleep and never wake up.
When your phoneâs screen lit up with a message, you were shocked to see a text from Bucky. Only that no words were in it, just a link that led you to a song on Spotify.
Another Love by Tom Odell.
Even though you knew the song well, you still listened to it, tears rolling down your cheeks as you focused on the lyrics, because you knew it had a message from Bucky. A quite emotional one. You listened to it again and again as the singer sang about feeling like he put way too much of his energy into another love and that he fears that he wonât love his current one the way she deserves. You knew that this was exactly how Bucky felt like, he was scared he wouldnât be able to give you everything you wanted because he had been hurt so badly before and it broke your heart to know that he was ready to live a lonely life because of his misbeliefs.
Eager to see him as soon as possible, you grabbed your bag and was about to head out, but when you tore the door open you found the man you were looking for already standing on your doormat.
âBucky!â you breathed out with teared up eyes. âHow long have you been standing here?â you asked, holding the door open for him to come in.
âSince you started listening to the song,â he answered with a soft, tired smile. âLike a hundred times,â he then added, making you chuckle even through your tears. âY/N, Iâm sorry for the way I acted today. Itâs just so hard for me to put myself out there again. I know that youâre not her, that youâre different, but still, I canât help but think that it will happen again,â he told you, his voice dying down at the end. Stepping closer you cupped his face in your hands as you stared back at him.
âPutting yourself out is never easy, but you have to do it sooner or later, Bucky. And I promise you, I wonât do the same thing that she did. She didnât deserve your love, she didnât deserve you. Donât punish yourself for her faults,â you pleaded as he leant into your touch, his eyes fluttering closer, his thick eyelashes fanning on top of his skin under his eyes.
âIâm sorry Iâm such a mess,â he whispered, his hands finding your waist as he pulled you closer to him.
âYou are not a mess,â you shook your head. âBut even if you are, we can be a mess together,â you chuckled and his eyes finally opened as a small smile stretched across his handsome face.
âThat sounds good,â he nodded softly as he leant closer and rested his forehead against yours. âWill you wait for me? To fix myself so I can be the man you deserve?â he asked, so out of breath as if he just ran a marathon.
âIâll be right here, listening to all our playlists until youâre ready,â you chuckled softly, as he smiled back at you, pressing a kiss to your cheek as a silent promise.
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IN YOUR MEMORIES
a/n: alright so this was inspired by an amazing fic called Graveyard by @wkemeupâ if you havenât read it⊠WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? honestly, i was amazed by the whole idea of having to âpay a priceâ for a super power and iâve been really itching to try myself out in this concept, so thatâs what this story is. im really excited to share this with you guys so i hope youâll like it!
pairing: Bucky X Reader
warnings:Â a hell lot of Buckyâs past pain, a little bit of angst aaand idk im really bad with these warnings
word count: 7.6k
masterlist
âIâve been trying to figure out an effective way to help him, but itâs been more complicated than I expected. None of my ideas were good enough to even attempt them.â
Shuri lets out a frustrated sigh as you stare at the peaceful face of the sleeping man in front of you in the cryo pod. The glass in front of his face is frosty, but you can still make his sharp features out, his chiseled jawline under the stubble, the elegant line of his nose and the thick lashes fanning over his cheeks as his eyes are shut closed.
âHis whole mind needs to be rewired, his corrupted memories should be replaced or wiped out so the trigger words wouldnât work any longer, but I canât do that on my own.â
Tearing your gaze away from the man you look at her, an apologetic expression adorning her features, because she swore youâd find shelter in Wakanda, a place where you can be just like anyone else and yet, she is now asking you to use your power.
âDo you think he would let me help him?â you ask, glancing back at the man. Bucky, as Shuri called him, doesnât look as old as he was said to be. A hundred and six years is a lot for a human like him, though he is not as mortal as others on the planet. Shuri told you about the experiments he had to endure through his life and even though you havenât even touched his mind, you could feel the pain inside you.
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