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returnthelove · 10 months

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dazai relationship hcs

warning: sex mentions and talk of suicide bc… it’s dazai

also a tad bit of angst?? again, its dazai.

He’s easy to flirt with / get in bed, but it’s NOT easy to get him into a relationship. He’s super friendly upon first meeting and has no qualms saying what’s on his mind when there’s a pretty lady involved. If you can get past the seemingly off-hand double suicide comments, it’s not hard to be interested in him.

Dazai’s a great conversationalist, and knows how to turn the talk onto you, while still letting you feel like you’re getting to know him. Spoiler: you’re definitely not. Sure, you’re getting to know him on a surface level. You can gauge his personality really quickly and he’ll straighten and grin when he tells you he’s a private detective - because, you know, he’s a cocky bastard, and knows that makes him sound cool as fuck. But he’ll make sure all questions about childhood and family are thoroughly dodged.

You get physically affectionate quickly. Y'all are walking home from a date and he turns and takes a hand in his, “I have to ask you something,” he says faux-seriously. You tilt your head in question. “Can I kiss you?” he asks. You let out a breathy, “yeah”. He gives you shit-eating grin and presses a gentle kiss into your knuckles. You blubber as he spins away and skips a few steps ahead of you, humming a slightly-off tune song. Heat rises to your cheeks as you run to catch up with him to tug (a little aggressively) on his sleeve. He turns for you to cup his face in your hands and press your lips to his. He smiles cheekily into your mouth, before melting into the touch and resting his hands on your hip.

Again, being in a relationship is gonna take a while. Your romantic escapades with him are going to be approached extremely casually - he’s here for a good time not a long time. He just wants to have fun! And convince you to commit a double suicide with him! Still no? Darn… He’ll ask again in an hour. Plus… for a long time, he’s probably not gonna be committed to you and will still flirt and see other people. If you start to catch legitimate feelings, you may feel like you have to keep it to yourself in order not to upset your current relationship. While the two of you are affectionate from the start, you will have a sense that you’re pining over him in your early interactions.

When he starts falling… oh boy. He is not pleased. There’s a definite shift. He starts acting a bit more purposefully annoying and irritable. He’ll try to get you to break up with him because he’ll be damned before he walks by another jewellery store and ends up staring at the engagement ring display a little too long. gross! He doesn’t want to marry you, he can’t! He’s gonna die any day now and you’ll go off to find a better man. A good man that will make you forget all about him. Which is the way it should be… but you’re just so cute! What is he supposed to do, huh?

He stops “talking” to other people after a while, not consciously though, it’s mostly just a natural fading of others besides you, who he constantly keeps in contact with - much to his own dismay.

You’re gonna have to be the one to confess to loving him, and it opens a long conversation that both of you have trouble working around. Dazai doesn’t trust people, it’s just not in his nature, but take it slow enough and he’ll start letting down some of his walls. He probably won’t say i love you back for a while, but he assures you that he’s loyal and that eventually he will, he just… can’t right now.

His loyalty is hard to earn, but once it’s set in place it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Once you confess, he’ll make an effort to not talk to anyone else. That being said, he’s still a naturally flirty person and is very friendly so you’re still gonna see others hit on him. Though, hearing him turn down girls, “I’m flattered, belladonna, really, but I actually have a beautiful girlfriend,” makes your heart buzz.

His love language is physical affection. A thousand percent. Hugs are a must. He’ll come up from behind and put his arms around you, nuzzling his cheek into your’s like a cat. Or he’ll link arms with you randomly to pull you in a certain directions. Love love LOVES kissing you - whether it’s a peck on the cheek or a sweet hello on the lips, he just loves having his lips on you. Or will ATTACK you with kisses all over your face and laugh as you squeal away from him. Also absolutely adores kissing your neck. Like he’ll walk up while your working, brush your hair over, and press hip lips into your pulse point. Then he’ll just let his head droop into the crook.

COLD HANDS. The coldest. Who knows why they’re so cold, but he sure as hell doesn’t care because this man is handsy as fuck. He’ll sneak up behind you and stick them up your shirt just to make you jump. Or he’ll run them along your arm to make you shiver. If you ever bring up how cold they are he’ll say, “you can warm them up for me🥺”. Yes, he makes that exact expression.

Human embodiment of “giant dog who thinks they are a small baby puppy”. Not only is he always around you, he’s always trying to… be on you. like He’ll lay on your lap a lot, or, he will try to fucking sit and curl up in your lap. He’ll run up and pull you into a hug - forgetting his own strength as he lifts and spins you around the room. Pray that you wake up after him when you’re in the same bed because he’ll usually end up on top of you in his sleep, with a leg flung over your lower body and his head nestled into the crook of your neck / chest. And this man is HEAVY and near impossible to push off. You’ll be stuck there until he wakes up.

There’s an underlying sense of fear in the relationship. Fear on his part because he’s lost everything he’s ever cared about at one point or another. Fear on your part because one day you could wake up and he could have finally succeeded in an attempt. After the initial barriers are broken, the two of you have some very deep talks - one of the main topics surrounding his suicidal tendencies. A helpless part of you thought that once the two of you were in love and happy, he would throw away that stupid book and recognise that he has a life worth living. Of course, that’s not really how suicidal thoughts work. He still openly talks about his macabre fantasies - although, with your help there’s more hope in his life than before. He’s not going to live for you, both of you are too smart to ever think about that rhetoric. However, given the time, research, and patience, he may be able to start living for himself. It’s a slow, gruelling process with lots of death-scares and melancholy, pushed around arguments. But it’s progress, nonetheless.

Let’s be real: despite all of his flaws, dazai is a fun person to be around. He’s gonna want to have fun with you. Loves going on random, quirky dates or doing normal couple stuff. The two of you will have a LOT of inside jokes and humour because he absolutely loves making you laugh. Y'all definitely have a playlist together full of songs to blast to at two in the morning while jumping around the kitchen.

Hate to break it to you, but belladonna isn’t really a special pet name he has for you. It’s just somethin he’s always called pretty women he doesn’t know the name of. He will, however, call you every single pet name under the sun. Every Single One. He does that thing where he’ll get really excited in greeting you and will just spout off “Hello my darling angel honey bear princess cutie love bug! How are you?” but that’s just because he’s excessive and likes to speak for as long as possible. Even still, his amount of pet names will rot your teeth with the sweetness. “Sweetheart” is a popular one for every day use. “Baby/babe” are to get your attention, with the occasional, “hey, pretty girl!” when he sees you for the first time in a day. Also will call you snookums if he’s being a snarky idiot. And will have a lot of personalised nicknames based on experiences or stuff he’s learned abt you. Like your favourite fruit or animal or something. Your actual name is saved for more special occasions. He views it as very sacred and personal.

Buys you clothes. Not in a weird way. He just will see stuff in a store and think it would look really good on you. He’ll bring whatever he’s bought home in a little gift bag with the biggest grin on his face.

AWFUL at communication. Getting this man to talk about his feelings is harder than running an olympic race with a fever. It’s BAD. Like if you ask him any question he doesn’t want to answer, he just straight up won’t respond - he’ll just stay silent and give you a soft smile, or walk off. OR will completely flip the conversation to where you don’t even remember what you were trying to talk about.

Fights/Arguments easy to find and hard to resolve because he’s so avoidant of his feelings and general conflict. He’ll usually just pretend they don’t happen after you’ve both cooled off for a bit. Opening up communication and making sure the both of you talk through issues is mostly on your shoulders. Though, the more you talk and the more he trusts you, conversations may get easier. He’s not impossible (though it may feel like it sometimes) and is able to approach topics very maturely. He’s just not used to long term romantic relationships, so it takes some time to figure it out.

He’s not clingy, quite the opposite if anything, he likes to be independent and he likes for you to be able to be independent (not to mention his habit of… disappearing without bothering to tell anyone what he’s up to). However, texts you quite a bit if he wants attention. He always wants attention. Not afraid to text one word at a time - or even just text random letters before you text back a question. “Call me! Call me! Call me!” he’ll respond. Thinking it’s serious, you’ll call him and hear a simple “Good morning :3” before hanging up again. He’ll text a few seconds later saying he just wanted his voice to be the first thing you heard when you woke up.

Annoying in the sweetest way possible. Mostly because he wants attention. Again, he’s an attention whore. He really wants attention if the two of you are together. Will poke and pinch your cheeks a lot. Will dramatically lay across you when you’re working. Sighs and huffs loudly when you’re on opposite sides of the room until you look up at him, only for him to be like “Can you make me some coffee 🥺👉🏻👈🏻?”. Additionally, will use your pet peeves and whatever else he can find out against you. Not maliciously, but certainly very teasingly.

Gets a tiny bit jealous/possessive, but understands how hypocritical it is, so you rarely recognize it. Anyone around him would say he doesn’t get jealous, but if a person is talking to you, or worse talking with you, he’ll always make his way over and fling an arm around your waist. If there’s little threat and he was just curious, he’ll happily just join in the conversation as his normal self, keeping a hand on you at all time. If there was definite foul play, he’ll give the offender a threatening smile before saying that he needed to talk to you about something and pulling you (rather harshly) away. He won’t ever tell you why though, he’ll just smile and tell you not to worry about it.

His first “I love you” happens after you think you’ve lost him. You’re angry, you’re crying and babbling about how he can’t keep putting you through this, how your heart can’t take it. Of course, it’s not about you, and you’re not trying to turn this into a you problem, but you’re just so scared all the time, and it hurts so much - he kneels in front where you’re sitting, and takes your hand, brushing your knuckles with his thumb. He coos and hushes at you while you ride out your final wave of tears and rambles, whispering how “it’s alright.” “it’s okay.” “everything is fine, I promise.” When you finally regain your breath and look down at him, he’s smiling. Gently, with soft eyes. You almost start crying again. “I love you,” he says, cupping your cheek. “I love you so much.” You sniff, “I love you too,” you say on instinct, not even recognizing it as the first time. “I just hate watching you do this to yourself.” “I know,” he kisses your forehead. He rises and pulls you into a hug. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Keep reading

#reblog bc of my last post.#someone was stealing these like verbatim lol #i made this two years ago literally how did someone even find them. you didn't even steal the juiciest ones #uuuhhhh #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #dazai osamu imagine #dazai fluff #dazai x y/n #osamu dazai x reader #dazai angst #bsd osamu dazai #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs imagine #bungou stray dogs

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returnthelove · 2 years

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[ 3:43 AM ] — L "RYUZAKI" LAWLIET

he’s trying to be quiet.

L’s movements are careful as he shuts the bedroom door, his footsteps soft when making their way to your bed. you wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t already been hyper aware of your surroundings.

the faint padding of his feet stop when they reach your side of the bed. your eyes remain closed, your breathing deliberately slow and steady. the shift of fabric tells you he’s moving, but his feet remain in place. it’s utterly silent beyond the beating of your heart and the breaths you exhale.

he calls out your name. whispers, really, but it’s strikingly loud in the late night’s serenity.

you don’t respond, opting to try and continue feigning sleep.

“i know you’re awake.”

well, there goes that plan.

you slide one eye open, unfazed at the sudden closeness that greets you. his face is mere inches from yours, just shy of touching your nose, and you’re mildly surprised you can’t feel his breathing fan across your features.

“yes?” your voice comes out with a slight rasp.

he’s silent for a moment. for once, his eyes aren’t their usual size of wide round plates, and the permanently analytical glint in them is dimmer in the wake of your vulnerable state.

you’ve come to learn that L is always thinking. scrutinizing, learning, adapting. his mind is in a perpetual state of taking in all the information around him, new and old; reviewing, understanding, and filing them away into the deep crevices of his mind. it’s in his nature, just as intrinsic to him as your lungs expanding for a breath or your heart pumping blood through your veins.

(once, you asked him if he’s ever consciously had a moment of quiet, of his thoughts being as blank as a fresh canvas. he hadn’t answered for a long time, and you almost thought you were being ignored.

almost an hour later, his answer came simply, “yes.”

you couldn’t stop yourself from asking him what it’d been like.

a beat had passed, and then, “it was the most terrified i’d ever been.”)

even now, tainted with what can nearly be called exhaustion, you can feel it in the set of his gaze and the lines etched around his eyes, can see in the near imperceptible purse of his lips that he’s thinking of what to do; if his next words should be said.

he blinks once, and it's clear to you that he's settled on something.

"would you be opposed to having me sleep next to you?"

his voice is as monotonous as it usually is, but there's a certain tone of care underlying the syllables. you open both eyes fully when you realize that his toes are curling into the carpet underneath him in what you think may be apprehension.

it's almost juvenile in a way, and you barely prevent the corners of your lips from turning up.

you give it a few minutes, though you'd already made up your mind the moment he'd finished his words, before giving him a solid shake of your head.

his lips part subtly, and your gaze automatically drops down to them. he doesn't give you a chance to dwell on the sight, however, because then he's standing up and cautiously making his way to the other side of the bed.

he pauses for a bit upon reaching the mattress. you decide to help him out a little, turning around and pulling back the covers to showcase the empty space beside you.

slowly and carefully, he crawls onto the soft bedding. it's obvious to you when he rearranges himself into a curled position with his back facing you, a loose mimicry of how he normally sits in chairs, that he's not used to this—to being freely offered a spot in someone else's private space, to being wanted in such close quarters.

it paints a faint curve to your lips, and the desire to help him familiarize this feeling sparks something raw in the cavity of your chest.

you shift closer to his body, sliding the covers back over him to preserve the heat emanating from his form (you'd been pleasantly surprised when you first found out just how warm he can run).

his shoulders aren't tense when you make contact, your chest pressed against the solid lines of his back. your movements are nearly delicate when you bring your arm over him, wrapping it securely around his torso. his legs curl in the slightest bit tighter at your hold, like he's barely stopping himself from using them to trap your arms around his waist.

you adjust your grip, hand curling into the fabric of his shirt, and pull him even closer to your body. your legs tangle under the sheets, and you can feel the muscles in his back and stomach shift with every breath he takes. resting your chin just above his head, a content sigh leaves you when his hair brushes softly against your face. it smells impeccably clean like it always does, and you tilt your nose further downwards to inhale the fresh scent of soap and water.

L doesn't say a word, but the gradual relaxation of his body into your gentle hold speaks enough for you. his breathing is even, and you can just about feel his heart beating through your points of contact.

this silence is fragile, vulnerable, and you think this might be the acme of what intimacy is. you've seen it before, glimpsed pieces of this religion in the moments when he'd hand feed you a sweet and delicately thumb away at the corners of your mouth; when he'd gaze transfixed into your eyes as you purposely busied yourself to allow him this moment of undisturbed reverence; when he'd quietly wrap a hand around your wrist in the presence of others, a thumb tenderly massaging your pulse point to communicate with you in a hidden language only your skin can understand.

they're tacit confessions, uttered without a word solely for your senses to decipher, and this—this request to be near you at his most unguarded, defenseless, is the loudest he's ever conveyed them. this desire to have you witness the barest version of himself feels more sacred than the words of an old god.

you've already offered your heart on the altar of his hands and murmured your own prayers of fervent devotion; you suppose this was his way of answering your calls.

a check back out of your thoughts reveals that his breathing has slowed within the safety of your grasp, his body melding perfectly along the lines of your own. you slide your eyes shut, and exhale into the soft crown of his head; you swear you could find divinity in moments like these.

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