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last night my partner held a somber little passover seder to show me what it’s about and when they got to the part where they were supposed to open the door for elijah they paused, frowned, and said “oh. huh. there is a clown.” and I looked out. and sure enough. there was a clown.

#no that was eliyahu #if youre cold hes cold let him in

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okay I'm having fun with this so more polls

lol I just realized I put "partner(s)" in a monogamous option. oh well

#oh this is complicated because i dont mind if my partner kisses other people #but i *probably* wouldnt myself because im somewhere on the ace spectrum

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[image id: digital fanart of the game disco elysium. in the first image, harry du bois faces dolores dei. above him is an edited screenshot of a tumblr ask reading 'harrier asked: babygirl Im balding over you'. in the second image, dolores dei faces the viewer. next to her is an edited screenshot of a tumblr ask reading 'dolores dei answered: Glue it back on'.]

#disco elysium #harry du bois #oh nooooo #poor harry

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I dont know what to say. I’m at a ,’ , |,’_’ for words

#AAARRRRRGGGGGG

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I want emo versions of idioms

Like, instead of ““you’re barking up the wrong tree” it’s “you’re panicking at the wrong disco”

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Explanations welcome! No "other" option, sorry.

#dorfl first and foremost #then granny and nanny

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maybe cain wldnt have killed abel if they had video games to healthily channel the violence between siblings. unfortunately back then the only smash brothers they had was smash brothers head in with a rock

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really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.

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basically i'm checking to see who likes pickles and who doesn't 💚🥒 (<- pretend that is a pickle thanks)

#gimmee that pickle

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*gathers all of the people in the world who write the number 7 with a little dash in the center of it so I can study them like little critters and find out what makes them do that*

#??? it makes it distinguishable from 1's?? #or at least not a question if it's a 1 or 7 if there's no 1 to compare against

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hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

#my coworker and i played SpotDog for over an hour today #SpotDog is where - when there are no customers - we go and sit on the window ledges #one facing one way the other facing the opposite and we watch the incoming traffic for dogs in cars #whoever spots a dog points it out and we both get to see a dog. everyone wins #people get pretty excited when they notice we're looking at their dog #often they'll roll the windows down if they aren't already #or they look back at their freind like they were just reminded that yeah. that's a really cute dog right there

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purpose of this poll: basically im wondering if my gran having a pistol was a typical american experience

#huh. #i don't think I've ever actuality seen a gun in real life #like maybe in a museum??? but even then i can't recall any #i suppose technically I've seen them in police holsters but never out

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The bean jar

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Out of curiosity and also guilt over my own coffee intake. I wanna ask:

Now I'm not talking about when you're studying and so you drink 3x the usual amount or something like that. This isn't me asking what your record is. I'm talking about the most basic, average day, how many coffees you drink?

#i am SHOCKED by these results #i was fully expecting to be in the minority here #not the majority #anyway why would i drink coffee?? it tastes like coffee #gross #it's almost all tea here baby

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#oh buddy