TBHK Ch.110āThoughts and feelings
1. I donāt even know what to say about this. LIKE!!?!!?! Especially because Akane always said that supernaturals only ever think about themselves!!! GUYSā¦ I wonder if this is gonna affect him as a character and his outlook on the supernatural (anyway theyāre literally siblings and I was sobbing)
2. SOOO CURIOUS ABOUT THIS!!!! Whatās the significance?? Is it a functional key? Probablyā¦ and if so what does it open?? Maybe it controls the clock somehow???? So many possibilities š
3. WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM. This is my SON. I love him so much and I was so happy natsuhiko went to go find him šššš
4. He trusts him so fully!!! He genuinely thought natsuhiko was coming to save him!! He thought they wereāif not friends then at least *friendly* HE THOUGHT HE COULD TRUST HIM
5. When I tell you my heart DROPPED (but I am excited by all this yorishiro talkāmore on that later)
6. TBHK character stop shoving strange substances into Mitsubaās mouth challenge (level: impossible)
7. MYYYY BABY MY BABY YOURE MY BABY SAY IT TO ME!!! IIIII BET ON LOSING DOGGGSSSSS
(AND ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF HIS PREVIOUS ALMOST DEATH)
8. Friendly reminder that Teru is the worst boyfriend ever (heās actively watching Akane eat shit)
9. I need someone with better media literacy than me to explain what the FUCK is up with these guys bc I feel like I know but like I donātā¦. Every time I think I understand shit gets weird again. Like Iām following the story but I cannot analyze this
10. HIS FACCEEEEE ššššš
OK THIS CHAPTER WAS AMAZING!!! Iām so scared for 111 bc WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN!!!! I have so many theories and ideas and ughughughugh it was so good (even though everything that happened was bad) 8/10 (Iām giving this rating kind of arbitrarily so donāt read into it too much)
So on the yorishiro thing: I think Kou might become Mitsubaās Yorishiro. Now I know people can become them but can living peopleā¦ I dunno. However, I think itās really likely. Iām wracking my brain on what all this Mitsuba would have to value. Not his camera because that was Sousukeās thing. And if not his camera, then what? Kou is the one thing/person that Mitsuba has grown truly attached to.
So I think next chapter Mitsuba will be dying, but Kou will somehow be able to break from the time thingy (either he wills himself awakeālike has a power flare in defense of Mitsubaāor maybe someone helps himābut who š) and goes over to Mitsuba and while heās crying and being all Kou, Mitsuba is gonna like think about Kou (maybe call him his friend for the first time) and somehow in the moment Kou will become Mitsubaās yorishiro. TRUST GUYS TRUST.
Also on Mitsuba and Kou:
POOR KOU. He looked up to natsuhiko so much when they met right before the severance šš if heās close enough, he wouldāve SEEN everything happening to Mitsuba.
And also POOR MITSUBA. He trusted natsuhiko!!!!! The good news is that Mitsuba will probably fully shift sides now and possibly make a more direct effort to help Kou Yahsiro and Hanako. Genuinely though, his mom is hurt, *he* is hurt, his friend(ish) betrayed him. My poor baby š why do AidaIro hate himmmm.
I would say something super smart and informed about the twins now, but as I said: nothing about them makes any sense to me.
Ugh I seriously donāt think I can wait till next monthhhhh!!!! If AidaIro lose it and actually kill off Mitsubaā¦. I donāt even know what Iām gonna do. 111 better be good or else š
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Kouās perception of Mitsuba, and how it changes, is fascinating to me.
(Quick note: Iāll be calling the human āSousukeā and the supernatural āMitsubaā to make it less confusing)
Letās rewind to Mitsubaās introduction in Hell of Mirrors: Kou leaped at the idea that Sousuke was back. Even after Tsukasa told him this isnāt the same person he used to know, merely an āartificial ghost with part of Sousukeās soulā, Kou subconsciously rejected the idea.
Mitsubaās existence brought his grief back full force, and while he could sense that Sousukeās memory doesnāt perfectly match reality, logic was never his strongest motivator in hell of mirrors, he is so full of hope and desperation: He wants Mitsuba to be Sousuke so bad.
He canāt let go of the past, he is not seeing Mitsuba, just shadows of Sousuke.
Kou wasnāt able to tell this is not his old friend, simply perceiving Mitsuba as an amnesic Sousuke.
Kou wants Mitsuba to ārememberā him when we know from Mitsubaās empty mirror that he has no life to remember. Kou calls him what he had called Sousuke and gives him Sousukeās photos, visibly desperate to get his friend back.
Even when they get out, Kou did not allow himself to face reality, talking about Mitsuba as if he was Sousuke, pushing what Tsukasa had said away.
āI thought he was gone for goodā āI didnāt think Iāll ever see him againā āBecause I couldnāt save himā Is all about Sousuke, which, as Tsukasa explained, āSousuke doesnāt exist anywhere in this world anymoreā
Kou only starts to realize what he has been doing and face reality in picture perfect, when Mitsuba shows him Sousukeās life on the windows, calling Kou out for only focusing on his dead friend, ignoring Mitsuba, and using him for his own selfish reasons.
Kou is reminded of his trauma when Mitsuba breaks the window with Sousukeās memories in it, but it does serve as an efficient wake up call.
Kou actually looks at Mitsuba here. He is dazed and shocked but he pays attention to what Mitsuba is saying: he is able to sees him as his own person.Ā
Mitsuba is confident no one cares about him, so after venting, completely breaking this worldās facade, he sucks up his tears and goes back to his human form, offering Kou his dreams.
This time Sousukeās image isnāt overwhelming. Kou doesnāt want to believe in this fake world now that he can see through it: Now that he can see Mitsuba.
He understands this is his own wish, not Mitsubaās.
He can see that this lie is hurting Mitsuba.
Kou understands that there is truth to Mitsubaās words. During all the fun times they spent together, he had been picturing Sousuke by his side, he wanted to have Sousuke back so badly that he never considered Mitsubaās feelings, or how his wish to replace him would be hurtful.
Kou is a selfish person full of genuine kindness: He still wishes Mitsuba was Sousuke and he feels guilt for ignoring Mitsuba.
āYou canāt find happiness in a fake worldā is a message to both Mitsuba and himself. Once Kou snaps out of his dream, he realizes it would only lead to ruin and tries to drag Mitsuba out of his own delusions, and while he has some points, he doesnāt understand that promising a better reality, giving him hope, is cruel.
Kou genuinely wants to understand Mitsuba, so he hears him out, and pays full attention to his distress.
There is still the solid weight of his failure with Sousuke in Mitsubaās very essence, but despite them looking the same and being very tied together, Kou is determined to focus on Mitsuba, he doesnāt want to do the same mistake again.
I wonāt go in depth on Kouās lack of care about his own life in this analysis, but I think it is worth noticing this offer was for Mitsuba, not Sousuke, and Mitsuba could see that.
Mitsuba doesnāt believe Kou can make him human, but he understands that he is serious, and that Kou will try.
He gets the feeling that maybe, hopefully, Kou cares about him too, not just Sousuke, so it freaks him out that his possible friend throws himself out of the fucking building.
The last thing Kou wants is to hurt him, so he apologizes for being reckless and trying to sort out his own feelings without considering how Mitsuba would feel.
Despite this determination to be closer to Mitsuba, he subconsciously puts a distance between himself and the supernatural. He accidentally keeps ignoring him.
Remember this:
Itās about Kouās wish, but it shows one of Mitsubaās own wishes, one weaker than his burning desire to be human, but no less real: The wish for friends.
Friends are one of the reasons he went along with faking to be Sousuke, friends are one of the many reasons he wants to be human in the first place.
But unfortunately, this is a wish he shares with Sousuke, so Kou blocked it out, not wanting to overlap the two, even if wanting to be friends is a part of Mitsuba too.
Itās complicated.
Being friends meant so much for Sousuke, and Kou doesnāt want to be reminded of him.
Kou understands seeing Mitsuba as Sousuke is an insecurity of Mitsuba and truly believes that the supernatural deserves better, he should be his own person instead of a shadow of Sousuke. Kou recognizes this difficulty separating the two is his issue, not Mitsubaās, so he is determined to make sure it doesnāt become a problem again.
This need to separate the two makes it so he canāt see Mitsuba as a friend, or if he does, he canāt voice it. He has never called Mitsuba a friend unless he was thinking of Sousuke or mistaking him for Sousuke, whose friendship he treasures. Even when Mitsuba had expressed he want Kou to stay in this world as his friend, the wish didnāt register, and Kou focused instead on the far less achievable, but completely detached from Sousuke, dream of turning him into a human.
Mitsubaās dream is important to Kou, and Mitsuba noticed that, since his vent was a moment were he had Kou full attention on him instead of Sousuke, so Mitsuba eventually used his dream to distract Kou from Neneās lifespan and their dilemma in Meiās world.
Unfortunately, this is, at its core, just a distraction: Mitsuba may believe in Kouās determination, but he doesnāt believe Kou has the power to grant his wish, he isnāt expecting Kou to find a solution, and he never pressures Kou about it after, he only said this because he doesnāt like to see Kou in distress, it makes him uncomfortable, and so he needs him to snap out of it.
Mitsuba has no idea how huge this is for Kou, how important it feels, cause Kou feels as if no one had ever expected anything from him before.
Even when Hanako expected him to save Nene, Kou had no idea so much trust was put on him, because Hanako only told him this:
And Kou was frozen in time, unable to hear a thing, when Hanako added this:
So in Kouās point of view, Mitsuba is the only one that expects something from him, the only one that depends on him. (which is diferent from people depending on his role: like his siblings needing a housekeeper)
Kou talks big but in the end, he is just an overwhelmed 14 year old: while he is determined to make Mitsubaās dream come true and fully separate him from Sousuke, he has no way to help him, and it is hard for him to not see Mitsuba as Sousuke. Itās incredibly hard.
It may have been presented in a comedic manner, but we know this haunts him all the way to his dreams.
Add in all the romantic undertones of his interactions with both Mitsuba and Sousuke, and Kou really has a big crisis.
He only fully comes to terms that Sousuke is gone when he visits his mom and sees first hand the impact of his death.
He processed and mourned Sousukeās death, he can truly separate them now, but things are still far from simple.
What exactly is his relationship with Mitsuba? It isnāt as easy to understand as his relationship with Sousuke.
Letās see how his wishes manifest to illustrate it. This is his wish with Sousuke:
Itās the wish to have been a good friend to Sousuke while he was alive. Depending on where you read, the translations may be āyou were my friendā or you āare my friendā but regardless, it has Sousuke wearing his death clothes and thanking Kou, which shows that Kou has moved on. He has accepted his death, no longer wishing for Sousuke to come back to life.
His wish with Mitsuba may start simple enough: Kou wants to be missed, to be wanted.
But grows out of control very quickly.
Itās strange. Dangerous.
Itās important that when the Fake shows up in the red house he is a supernatural, not a human like Mitsuba wishes to be. The fake also wants Kou to fulfill his promise from picture perfect and die so they can be together, which is something Mitsuba rejected, angry with Kou for his reckless behavior.
This wish to stay by his side forever is purely Kou, though itās not as simple as Kou wanting to die: Keep in mind that many of the house wishes are merely things Kou subconsciously wants because it would give him an easy answer to a dilemma he is being troubled by: Like when the house materialized an evil Hanako telling him to āexorcise me before I kill everyoneā because all his problems would have been easier to solve if the world was more black and white.
If dying, ending it all, really was a deep wish of his the house would have shown him an easy way to die: For better or worst, the house is very straight to the point with its temptations, when Kou wished for a legendary weapon that would āsave senpai in a flashā the house gave him exactly what he asked for, when he got hungry it showed him food, so if he seeked death itself, even if subconsciously, the house would offer him a noose or a drop as high as a school building, not something so tied to the idea of being wanted, to Mitsuba trusting and believing in Kou.
Kou has very little self-worth and sees his own life as a disposable tool for others, but I do not believe being willing to die and wanting to die are the same. He mostly wants an answer about what to do with Mitsuba, he wants to be the one with the solution to his problems more than he wants to make Mitsuba human, and the only solution he can come up with is to become a supernatural, so the red house gave him exactly what he wants: a solution of his own making.
Kou is very self-centered, the Fake may be twisted, but Kou had always accidentally distorted his relationship with Mitsuba, the unease he felt facing the fake is likely because it isnāt what he expected to see, but it isnāt alien either, itās similar to things Kou has thought before:
Now, Kou doesnāt want Mitsuba to be helpless, to consume his life, he have no malicious intentions whatsoever, but he does want to be needed. Kou is desperate to be needed.
He feels like he is never seen as reliable: He had bonding moments with Nene on many occasions but she has Hanako, whose actions are morally questionable at times but he does get results, unlike Kou. Teru loves him but kept him in the dark about the exorcist world for his whole life, Tiara loves him but Kou seems to be under the impression her favorite bro is clearly Teru, and anyone else wouldnāt pick him as their first choice.
In contrast, Mitsuba is very attached to him, Mitsuba has a wish that he had asked Kou to grant him, and Kou had attached himself to Mitsuba just as much as he has grown attached to the idea that Mitsuba needs him.
Kouās wish to be with Mitsuba and his deep wish to be needed are interconnected, Kou wants so so much to help him, to not be a disappointment again, that he became obsessed. Ironically, while Kou wants to be trusted, he doesnāt trust himself, and this determination to grant his wish blinds Kou from bonding and granting Mitsubaās wish for friends. Kou does have good intentions but he is doing what he wants, he is not paying attention to Mitsuba.
Kou doesnāt want Mitsuba to worry, Kou wants to help, and he canāt see his lack of self preservation hit Mitsuba too. I personally think Kou is aware his selflessness is inherently selfish but he hates that part of himself, because he rejected all his wishes in the red house but was able to admit to himself later they are his wishes.
He seem to acknowladge this but still reject it, cause he keeps doing the same mistakes: He may have apologized for jumping in picture perfect but he keeps missing Mitsubaās intentions.
He is at his most selfish with Mitsuba and yet, I have no doubts he genuinely cares about him.
When he does see Mitsuba again, he is happy he is āgoodā and he has both a heavy romantic energy and a noticeable distance. In hindsight, Iām not surprised he called him an acquaintance.
Kou likes him but he isnāt sure if is because of Mitsuba or because Mitsuba reminds him of Sousuke, so Kou had put a mental block on the idea of them being friends. Mitsuba very existence was born out of his failure with Sousuke, and have a big tie with Kouās self worth. Any romantic feelings he has are being suppressed, and yet they do have a connection outside Sousuke. Kou is so focused on not disappointing Mitsuba he sabotages a lot of chances of connecting with him.
So what are they? Itās not as simple as ānot quite friends and not quite loversā, they are deeply affected by each other but know so little of the other they are basically strangers. They put their wishes on each other (āI want friendsā āI want to be neededā) and yet misread what they are expected to give. They want connection and are afraid of not being as important to the other as the other is for them: They are a loving and tragic mess.
I am not surprised Kou had a breakdown when Mitsuba told him to exorcise him.
At this point, Kou is able to see Mitsuba as his own person/monster, so I feel like the request to be exorcised doesnāt make him remember Sousukeās death, but it does bring back Severance trauma: We havenāt seen a Sousuke flashback in ages, but we got plenty of little panels of Mitsuba in the severance from Kouās pov.
Outside the distress of Mitsuba wanting to die after Kou just got him back, itās important that Kou focuses on how he needs to eat to survive after the severance, and instead of being disgusted as Mitsuba expected, Kou takes it as a personal attack, as a declaration Mitsuba also has Tsukasa to rely on.
Kou doesnāt care that Mitsuba is a monster, it was one of the main things he used to differentiate him from Sousuke, is old news, but he does care that Mitsuba still wants to be human but have gave up on ever being one. By doing so, Mitsuba indirectly admits that he doesnāt believe Kou can grant his wish, which is a promise that Kou had put a lot of his self-worth in, so it feels like Mitsuba doesnāt need Kou.
The only thing Mitsuba seems to need Kou for is to exorcise him.
Kou needs to handle both the realization Mitsuba wants to die and that he doesnāt believe in him, thatās more than enough to break him. Add in all the repressed feeling he have, both of friendship and romance, and dear lord, please help this kid.
These two have so many communication problems I hope they talk in the next chapter.
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AFTERSCHOOL HANAKO KUN CH 27āTHOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
1. I love this panel sm š theyāre all so cute and it just makes me wish and wish and wish that they could all be normal together
LOOK AT KOU AND HIS FRIENDS IM GONNA CRY!!!
2. AGSKANSK THEYRE SO CUTE AND TEENY
Also Kouās cardigan looks like Mitsubaās cardigan and now I need official art of him in it
3. Uhā¦ no comment
4. This is just a Mitsuba appreciation post now
*please note that both of Mitsubaās hands are visible hereā¦
5. I love so much about thisāYokoo being terrified is actually so real and also LOOK AT KOU LISTENING SO INTENTLY TO HIS BF
6. Okay nglā¦ I was a little spooked at Mitsubas storyā¦ well up till the end
7. Now this is an Aoi appreciation post
8. I WAS SPOOKED WHEN THE SECOND YASHIRO SHOWED UP!!!! SHE STARTS BANGING ON THE DOOR LIKE HELLO?????? ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT
9. Everything about her starting to question her surroundings!!!! Like oh my god????? I had chills!! (Kou looks so cute with his little head tilt)
Edit: how tf did I not realize Kou didnāt have his lame ass earrings on here??!?! Like the head told literally like annunciates it
10. Heās soā
I actually love them so much šļæ¼
11. AGSKANS THEYRE SO CUTE!!!!!!! LOOK AT HIM BLUSHINGGGGG
āThe world I loveā I know who youāre really talking about Yashiro Neneā¦.
11. My good sir is THINKING about that shit
Okay I actually have a lot of theories for this chapter and itās not even part of the main story.
So while I was reading it I went through a few different ideas. First I started drawing comparisons to the pilot chapters (Yashiro is in a long sleeved uniform and at first I saw Kouās cardigan and thought that it was the same from the pilot BUT upon further research the jacket Mitsuba has on is closer to Kouās original jacket. Which to me could still point to the pilot bc it could just be the old uniform for them but idrk) (and speaking of Mitsubaālike I said before his sweater isnāt over either of his handsā¦) but Teru being there kind of put a pin in this theory. Also I donāt know if the Mitsuba thing points any fingers to the pilot chapters but itās just something I noticed and I think it must mean *something*. I also noticed that Aoiās hair was back to being up which was really weirdā¦
So then I started thinking about what exactly this could mean otherwise. Now, Iāve seen a lot of people calling this a nightmare, but was it?
The next place my mind jumped to was that Hanako wasnāt with them from the beginning and is not mentioned at all till he shows up at the end. Curious.
Sooo what could this meannnnn? Well I donāt think it was a nightmare at all. I think that this is a parallel universe (itās still weird that in this universe Amane isnāt friends with Yashiro and Kou/is dead but Mitsuba isnāt, but who knowsā¦.) and our Yashiro is summoned into this parallel world by the stories her friends are telling. And so she is the doppelgƤnger as Teru and Natsuhiko say.
I think this is really plausible because Mitsubaās story is very strange in that it doesnāt end normally and he says that he heard it from a friend of a friend then reiterates that same thing. In a way it almost seems like this really *was* just some real story heād heard and maybe heād mistaken it for fiction but it was actually true. And! These other versions of her friends that sheās with donāt recognize her versions of them (as we see with Kou), but really we can see this from the very opening because our Teru would NEVER participate in this normally. Especially not with such enthusiasm. And Hanako showing up and knowing what to do like that is very indicative of him hopping into this universe with her to protect her (like the consequences of the doppelgƤnger are real) (and obviously this is within Hanakoās power). Then when we cut back to the real world/the original universe Yashiro doesnāt tell us that sheād been sleeping, just that suddenly she found herself in the classroom. AND when sheās talking to Hanako later he doesnāt say he *didnāt* help her, he says āwho knowsā and I feel like thatās a classic Hanako deflection line!!! Meaning that he DID help her!!!!!!
Anywayyyyy I really liked this chapter. Like I feel like the afterschool chapters donāt normally feel so lore-heavyā¦. Part of me wants this to come back somehow. Like maybe later in the main series they travel between parallel universes for whatever reason (maybe thatās what it is when Yashiro sees past Amaneāthough I hope not because I really want that to have actually happened in Amaneās life in our timeline)
EDIT: OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD KOU DOESNT HAVE HIS EARRING IN!!!! HE DOESNT WEAR IT HERE!!!!!!!! THIS IS CRAZY ACTUALLY JESUS š (I wonder if this can somehow be linked to Mitsuba being aliveā¦ cause traffic safety and whatnotā¦ hmmmmm) (like he still has an earring but itās not the traffic safety one arghhhhhhgg!!!!)
EDIT EDIT: I WENT BACK TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHY I DIDNT NOTICE AT FIRST AND ITS ALMOST LIKE ITS BEING HIDDEN TILL THE HEAD TILT PAGE!!!! THERES ALWAYS LIKE A SPEECH BUBBLE IN THE WAY OR LIKE YOKOOS HEAD OR SMTH!!! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMā
Edit edit edit: Iām Stan and I was wrong. Iām singing the Stan wrong song. I shouldnāt have taken that chance. Now hereās my remorseful dance. (Translation: even though it canāt be seen in most panels and that does feel kind of purposeful to me still, there are like two or three panels where his right ear is in clear view)
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