prairiedust

[prairiedust]

hm. something about dean shielding sam from john's abuse, but dean not having anyone to shield him from john, wearing john's influence to shield his vulnerabilities, and then each layer of that getting slowly peeled back the longer castiel, the shield of god, is in his life.

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BECAUSE THE ROOM WAS TOO SMALL

BECAUSE THE FOREST WAS TOO SMALL

BECAUSE THE GARBAGE DUMP WAS TOO SMALL

BECAUSE THE TABLE WAS TOO SMALL

🧍‍♂️ 👬 🧍‍♂️

#that’s how you do visual subtext #destiel

[prairiedust]

There are currently ~2300 works in AO3 tagged with "Created Using Generative AI"

I'll be upfront with my opinion, which mirrors my opinion in regards to my field: using AI will only hasten your own obsolescence. The point of fanfiction is not to crank out fics, but rather to enjoy the hobby and communities of writing and fandom.

[prairiedust]

from dean’s perspective “i need you’ is bigger than “i love you”. love is complicated but it’s direct, he could love someone without having them in his life. but need? dean “mr. dependent, guarded walls up so high, emotionally unavailable” winchester needing someone? thats huge. to need means to give them control. to need means i cant do this without you. love comes easy to dean but to genuinely need something and be selfish enough to ask for it? that goes against everything he’s been conditioned into believing.

#oh yes ‘i need you’ #we’ll be talking about this around the pinochle tables at the rest home

[prairiedust]

i think a lot of people don’t realise that cas pulling dean out of hell in lazarus rising wasn’t cas pulling dean off the rack, it was cas pulling dean AWAY FROM the rack, away from the people he was torturing

the first time cas touched dean he saw the pain dean was inflicting on other people, saw the way he enjoyed it, and it didn’t change how pure dean was to him, it didn’t make him any less good

#ah lads #casdean

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Me as one of the high schoolers texting this pic to my friends: why did they bring gay gas n sip Steve to this crime scene.

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through heaven and hell

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DESTIEL IN EVERY EPISODE → 4x18 the monster at the end of this book

dean's first prayer to cas

castiel's first rebellion for dean

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[prairiedust]

the thing that gets me is how intensely private dean's grief is. dean purposely getting out of the impala and heading some place quiet and empty to pray. dean preparing cas' body for the funeral pyre, alone. dean going to a meadow to spread his ashes, alone. dean holed up in his room drinking listening to music trying his best to drown out the overwhelming pain of it all. we do not see sam grieve for cas in this way. it's not even remotely the same.

#never getting over this

[prairiedust]

[prairiedust]

Lee is deeply important to chucknatural. like. he was clearly a big part of dean’s life for a little while and they didn’t fall out or anything, but we haven’t heard about him at all for fifteen years. which means to me that either Chuck wrote him out of the story until season 15 so dean didn’t remember him, or Chuck invented him from whole cloth when he needed Lee as a warning to dean in s15. he didn’t exist until the moment he’s always existed.

so either way to me Lee is a warning. Chuck says see this man? remember him? now you do. he was your best friend. you kissed him standing in a grave in 2001. he has the quiet life you want and he also had a big gay crush on his best friend. sound familiar? I thought so. now take another look at him. he has to kill people for this life he has. this is a warning: you’d better not want quiet. you better not look at your best friend. remember, I pull the strings. you’re in a monster story and your job is to kill monsters or die.

and either way I think what gets dean to realize that he’s in chuck’s story and Chuck is fucking with his memory/his timeline is looking closely at those memories of Lee. if he was my best friend why did I never call him? why did I never look him up when I passed through Oklahoma? if I kissed him how the fuck could I have never thought about that again? or did I? what else don’t I remember?

#dean #the endless folklore of supernatural

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CAS IS GONE AND DEAN SUDDENLY WANTS TO KILL HIMSELF??? A THING WHICH THEY EXPLICITLY STATE IN THE EPISODE??? THAT DEAN WANTS TO DIE?? AND THEN HE FINDS OUT CAS IS BACK AND ITS LIKE THE WHOLE GODDAMN WORLD IS MADE OF SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS?? THEY ALMOST ROMEO AND JULIETED THESE BITCHES!!! CAS WAS ALREADY ALIVE AGAIN. DEAN FINDS OUT WITHIN AN HOUR OF GETTING REVIVED AGAINST HIS WILL????

THEY ALMOST ROMEO AND JULIETED DEAN AND CAS ARE YOU FUCKING ME???

#le sigh

[prairiedust]

13.07 - War of the Worlds

#no tags

[prairiedust]

still amazes me that by season 45 or whatever, Supernatural was being exclusively watched by delusionally hopeful women with flamingo-salinity tolerance for bad writing and the creators still couldn’t pander to them because maybe there was 1 straight guy out there still accidentally watching it

#destiel has such far reaching effects

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[prairiedust]

what if dean knew he was bi all along. what if he knew he liked men, but was too repressed to even consider it as an adult.

like, i can imagine young dean, being thrown from school to school, from town to town, never making any friends. then maybe meeting a boy, a hunter's son or just another teenage weirdo, who maybe understood dean, or maybe was just there, and they somehow connected. imagine teenage dean, barely 14? 15? hanging out with a boy while john was away on a hunt, without any supervision. they could do whatever, skip school (it didn't matter anyways), leave sammy at the motel where they were staying and go out with this boy.

imagine dean feeling attracted to this guy, because he was an escape to his reality, an outsider who saw dean for who he was, not as a soldier or as a caregiver or any other role he had to fulfill in order to survive. dean was young, he started to feel things for this boy and for the first time he just let himself be. being around him was enough to relieve him, there was no monsters, no father, nothing else in the world but them.

then it happened, they got close in the short days or weeks maybe they got to know each other, and maybe they kissed. and maybe john found out.

dean let his guard down, he liked a boy and kissed him, and now his father found out. imagine fuckng john winchester's homophobic ass taking it out on dean for kissing a boy, maybe beating him up (for all we know, he might have). imagine dean getting traumatized because of that; the one time he let himself be he was punished for it, so he then learned his lesson. don't be vulnerable. don't kiss boys.

(so i guess sam knew, he must've heard all the screaming, but was too young to do anything.)

so then dean created his womanizer persona, this "lady's guy" who's unbreakable, never vulnerable, very much straight.

and as an adult you can see it, everything about him in the first seasons is so fabricated, his hookups, his masculinity, how he saw john the first season, he was a victim but he admired him like a devout son. he had to bury all his trauma in order to survive, so this fake dean was born. but then you can se through the cracks, he's so obviously attracted to men but never does anything about it, he knows it's forbidden, even if john's not around anymore. even sam knows it, he want's to support him, just never says it, he doesn't know how to.

so all the way to 15x18, castiel's confession. dean is very much in love with him, that's no secret, and i think he knows it. his sole reaction when cas dies in 12x23(? he's done after that loss, he can't even say it out loud, he knows no one else is grieving cas like him, he knows his feelings are different. so when cas confessed all I think is that he wasn't gonna be able to hide it anymore.

dean wasn't prepared to face this part of himself, not after all the time that passed, but I don't think he was surprised or confused. he knew what kind of relationship he has with cas, how it was different than others, and the confession could've been the beginning of dean letting himself love again, in a way he knew he's capable of, just scared.

Idk, I was just thinking about it in bed and it came to be like an epiphany, I couldn't really articulate it well, but there's that. dean's bi and he knows it, he's just to traumatized to face it.

#the endless folklore of supernatural #bi dean