pezsystem

[pezsystem]

Well I be dammed. Hello! Been a bit…

[pezsystem]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

#1 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

[pezsystem]

The mother is dating 6 guys 7 if you’re including our father. The mother will be divorcing dad this year… the mind is stressed out a bit. How to cope and handle this? -Octavia

[pezsystem]

DID isn’t something that is fundamentally fun. It’s challenging, it’s awkward, it can be frustrating. For us there’s good moments despite realizing and the frustrations of being a system but mainly is just a mess most times.

[pezsystem]

Hello! This is urgent, our system needs help to get out of debt from our bank and we don’t get paid often enough and would appreciate all the support you can give us. Even though he smallest amount can help a lot.

#urgent #gofundme #paypal #help #dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #help us

[pezsystem]

Being in a system is strange and fun. Last few days or maybe weeks had been stressful. But, I think we are out of that rut.

[pezsystem]

Yo, If you want to be in a good community and desire to support a lovely community please check this link out. It is fabulous, kind, and desire to bring in the truth and spread awareness.

It has helped me so much. To be in a community where I can allow us be us.

#dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #osdd community #did community #actually dissociative #join the party

[pezsystem]

Life is a piece of shit.

[pezsystem]

It sucks, thought I was over it.

I don’t think anyone can be over any set of trauma. It is part of your story, our story. Today and yesterday was really crazy and triggering. I won’t go into details but, no one can fully be over with a trauma unless they have worked really hard on managing it.

[pezsystem]

Dreaming as a system sucks ass. You can easily ending your sharing a dream with another or easily triggered by constant nightmares. It sucks either way. Nightmares can fuck off.

#dissociative identity disorder #nightmares #sleepless #i need sleep

[pezsystem]

Love…. Loving for or as a system is complicated mess. It won’t be or come easy. But, if it’s genuinely real….. it’s safe and healthy feeling. Have respectable boundaries, be firm with it, listen to your partner’s boundaries, don’t either of you be a dormant. It does more damage to the psyche and soul than actual peace of an understanding partner. You’re worthy to be love, and know what an understanding real love is.

Though I don’t know what it truly feels like face to face…. Or that you don’t have that interest in finding a romantic lover. However, having someone to talk to can be a good thing and great feeling.

-D

#Spotify

[pezsystem]

Desert fucking Song

[pezsystem]

I feel this way too…

Rant

CW: This post will discuss RAMCOA (not in detail) and the mistreatment of RAMCOA survivors in the OSDDID community. Please read with caution.

RAMCOA survivors are treated terribly in the system community. Your trauma is seen as larger than life, not real/fictional, or too bad to talk about. Hell, I'm nervous to even mention this kind of thing because it's so heavily seen as taboo and dangerous to talk about to other people. We're not allowed to share our stories because our trauma(s) are "too severe" and "dangerous" that we're not allowed to share what we went through. I have seen people say not to Google it, and if they do that they'll be more likely to be a victim as well. Which.. just isn't true. Apply that to any other trauma where Googling the definition makes it more likely for you to experience it. Make it make sense! You don't have to share your story in any case scenario, but why are we not ALLOWED to? Why is our trauma that different? It's isolating us, which is what my abusers would've wanted. I've been told that my trauma is fake, and no wonder! We're not allowed to talk about it. Ever. Let us talk about it if we feel comfortable to, it's not your choice, it's OURS.

[pezsystem]

Being sick as a system sucks… for us our caretakers and few others like protectors get easily front stuck. Constant dissociation, fear and confusion while having this cold. Ughhh… I just wanna cuddles getting through it…

[pezsystem]

Memories are fragments of time were given. Not many is great, nor many is that bad. Least what I tell myself. Our memory keeper is keeping certain things hidden… which scares me. But, I have to trust them right?… he is hard to get solid answers from, and hard to communicate he doesn’t often front.

However, this song reminds me of him in helping build our inner world with our architect. He approves and claims it’s his jam.

#Spotify #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder

[pezsystem]

Life as a system is hard. Granted, it gets bit easier over time. But, no one wants to talk about the difficulties since it deals with childhood trauma, flashbacks and importantly real life knowledge that people can be monsters.

Dissociating is very heavy when getting into this type of topic…. I am always scared and freezing… However, it needs to be said. There’s people that simply want to do the bad thing, for sake of doing them. It doesn’t matter if they’re of the law or man of God…. They shouldn’t have harmed you. You shouldn’t have been harmed. Things people can do is gross, and never should be in the limelight unless it’s truly needed or legal matters. I don’t have to say what our experience is, we don’t owe shit to anyone let alone dozens of people on the internet.

You are valid with your own experiences.

Our experiences we are coming to acknowledged and discover who the voices in our heads are. It’s been a wild year for us… but glad we’re in a place of where we have a therapist… and finally able to progress in life. Trusting that people are not after us…

#did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder

[pezsystem]

So true.

now you may be wondering “why would klaus choose five of all people for emotional support?” well let me tell you the answer and it’s actually very simple. for klaus, “emotional support” is actually not based on emotion at all, and in fact really just comes in the form of someone who 1) won’t put up with his shit when needed 2) can remain sturdy and composed 3) has the ability to view things from an objective standpoint 4) will push him when it’s needed, and still cares. and that’s five! (it was also ben)

klaus is someone flighty and transient, and he finds comfort in people who balance that out. five is, was and always will be the perfect choice there