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anyways what if i deactivate lmao

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who do u think in the chicago med cast reads yaoi :3 ?

actually, i think i disagree! thank you for your time, but your proposal has been rejected.

#anonymous #nope! #not today!

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look idc if i'm gonna get hate but i'm probably gonna start a euphoria blog specifically to write polyamorous jules rue and elliot. cuz i have too many headcanons abt them to leave them in my brain.

#sorry i've been dead here but #i'm just thinking about other shows i guess? #i'm not even caught up on med #and i love med #that's not the problem #but i'm in a writer's block and i just need a change of pace

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21 sideblogs and apparently thats a small amount…im curious 2 see reblog with how many sideblogs yall have this includes saved urls

#y'all wtf i have one single side blog

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hey guys! life update! tattooing the little trampoline guy on my palm tonight <3

#i'll update later #and probably post pics #and ofc a video of him jumping

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#yeah what the fuck

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opening tumblr and seeing the little "99+" bubble and wondering what the hell happened

#it is fear #i am afraid #i see that little bubble and i'm like #😨

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highschool as an autistic person be like *hides in bathroom* *hides in bathroom* *hides in bathroom* *random social studies or english teacher you're really really close with* *hides in bathroom* *hides in ba

#autism #actuallyautistic #autistic teen #high school #autism life #living with autism

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i agree !!! they're hard to get now that streaming services are implementing anti-screen recording and whatnot... pain in the ass !!!

do you know what we don’t have enough of? Crockett gifs

#although i also don't know if there are many active gif makers in this fandom rn #i feel like this goes for most characters too #i just don't think anyone is making gifs?? idk

[page-doctor-bekker]

vent abt autism + meltdowns

cw for significant negative self talk + anti-autistic sentiments when it comes to self esteem

i fucking hate being autistic. i wish i could be one of those people who can wholeheartedly accept their autism but i just can't.

my parents decided to cancel their spotify subscription for obvious joe rogan related reasons. i agree with them but the idea of changing where i listen to music just sent me into a meltdown and i completely lashed out at them. i feel really bad and i apologized and explained and my mom accepted my apology and i could visibly see when she realized that i wasn't just being a brat for the sake of being a brat but i just hate myself. i hate how i can't handle these little things and i hate how i can't just move on.

it's been like half an hour and i've taken some cbd and i'm still shaking and crying and i can't calm down. i feel so out of control all the time and i just wish i wasn't autistic.

i just wanna be normal.

(don't rb and don't dm. comments in the replies are fine but i don't want this spread around and i don't like one on one text conversations)

#vent #actuallyautistic #don't rb #don't dm

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“Can I stay here tonight?” for someone new!au, not long after sarah's joined the relationship?

Stay | Someone New

Poly!Rheesker; sometimes someone needs a reminder

WC: I don’t know lmao

CW: I mean kind of allusion to Spicy Stuff near the end but not enough for me to say minors DNI

***

Ava had fallen asleep on the long sectional couch, her head on Connor’s thigh and her legs sprawled across Sarah’s. Her partners didn’t mind, she had had a long day of surgeries and deserved the rest. Still, it was getting pretty late and Sarah felt a bit awkward. She didn’t want to stay at their place too long in case Connor wanted to go to bed and yet she didn’t have the heart to wake up her girlfriend in that moment.

Sarah had joined the couple a few weeks prior, after a few casual dates and some not-so-casual nights together. She had never been in a poly relationship so it was like treading new waters every day, but she was never truly uncomfortable. She had connected with both Connor and Ava so quickly and something about being with them felt so right. The way she felt when she kissed either of them and the butterflies that woke up in her stomach the second they made eye contact across the room was indication enough. She was falling in love with them both, as a unit and as individuals, and she wanted this quiet comfort to continue.

“Connor?”

“Hmm?” Her boyfriend reached for the remote from where it was wedged between Ava’s arm and the couch. He made sure to lower the volume on the tv, effectively dampening the sound of the TEDtalk they had been watching. She loved when he did that, something so simple as giving her his full attention. Being heard and prioritized wasn’t something Sarah was used to and she had begun to enjoy the feeling.

“Could I-,” she sighed at her the nervous waver in her voice, “Can I stay here tonight?”

His million dollar smile was enough to set her heart aflutter, “Of course you can, baby. You don’t have to ask so formally.”

“Are you sure? I mean I don’t want to intrude or anything but Ava- I mean I don’t wanna wake her up and it’s getting pretty late and…”

“Sarah, slow down,” gentle fingers caught her chin and guided her to make eye contact again, “You’re okay, you don’t have to explain yourself.”

“I-.”

“Sarah Reese if I hear one more excuse I’ll drag you to bed myself,” Ava’s muffled voice piped up from between them. She had been half awake for a while but just enjoyed the comfort of being between her two favourite people. She knew their girlfriend was anxious and unsure about making first moves but she needed to know that this relationship was built on trust.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t apologize, just know you’re always welcome, okay?”

Connor nodded, his hand carding through her hair in a soothing gesture, “You’re here because we care about you, you know that? You’re every part as important in our relationship regardless of how long you’ve been with us.”

Sarah pouted a little at their words, breaking eye contact with Ava because the amused smirk on her face was making her flustered. She was, however, put in an even more flustering situation when Ava shifted on the couch. She settled herself down on Sarah’s lap with ease, grinning at her as she watched the realization dawn on the younger’s face.

“You better believe that,” she murmured, “Unless you need a reminder?”

Unable to contain a squeak of embarrassment, Sarah hid her face in Ava’s shoulder. That made them both laugh and Connor tapped on Ava’s hip gently, “Don’t tease her.”

Sarah grumbled something in agreement but Ava just looked content with herself and the position she had put them in. She kissed the side of her head and peeked at her to see the big smile that had grown on her face. Mission accomplished, Ava decided, because Sarah visibly relaxed into her touch.

“Better?”

“Yeah…”

“Good,” Connor watched them fondly, especially when Ava bent to kiss her but stopped just inches away, asking her quietly if it was okay. They were both surprised when Sarah nodded and ended up being the one to close the gap. Her confidence came in small bursts but when it did it was the most attractive either of them had seen Sarah.

When they parted, Sarah smiled when she saw the way Connor was watching them. He did it a lot, the mixture of admiration and wanting fighting with his wish to not interrupt them. Ava noticed too and laughed, holding onto Sarah’s hand for stability while she leaned over to kiss their boyfriend. Her free hand had moved to Ava’s hip, not wandering but her fingers tapping gently against the bone rhythmically.

It was Connor who said what everyone was thinking, pulling away from Ava momentarily, “Are you sure you don’t need that reminder, Sarah?”

#me when i fucking lose my fucking mind #you are driving me crazy cj i am painfully single #i am obsessed

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RHEESKER IS SCRATCHING MY BRAIN

#my poly brain is like #wowie! #i love it here! #i need to write #what if i wrote

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literally chicago med has not scratched my brain in the right way for weeks (me when i am too depressed to have a special interest) but then i saw this and was like ohoho WOWIE

@page-doctor-bekker I’d die for you rn and also I’m going feral over Hozier’s songs always and I feel like a lot of them fit this ship ghsjdkd

#my brain #has been scratched

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#i needed to see this #today

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Someone New | Rheesker

Would things be easier if there was a right way?

Honey there is no right way

-Hozier (2014)

#AHHAHAHDJAHDJJAHD #I LOVE THSI SOGN #SOMG #SONG #AND THIS SHIP #IM LOSING MY MIND #CJ YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN #THIS IS EXQUISITE

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hey lol so i just went through a breakup and also am very mentally unstable. emergency psychiatrist appointment today at 2:45

#lol #mental illness! #is why i am so inactive all the time #yeah #oopsie daisy!

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gorgeous gorgeous girls are depressed, decide to go out for some retail therapy, and can't find anything they're passionate about enough to buy :,)

#sigh #whatever #it's fine #i'm fine