optimusprime3000

[optimusprime3000]

Dread Trident: So what's for dinner?

Alluring Crescent, staring at the burnt food: Regret.

#cookie run #moonlight cookie #alluring crescent moon #sea fairy cookie #dread trident of the abyss #sea fairy x moonlight #seamoon #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

Sea Fairy: The phone's on speaker, so behave.

Moonlight: Or what, you'll spank me?

Sea Fairy: ...

Moonlight: ...

Milky Way: ...Oh my god.

#cookie run #sea fairy cookie #moonlight cookie #milky way cookie #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

Alluring Crescent: BE A BETTER PERSON!

Dread Trident: WHY?!

Alluring Crescent: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FU*K AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

#cookie run #moonlight cookie #alluring crescent moon #sea fairy cookie #dread trident of the abyss #sea fairy x moonlight #seamoon #incorrect quotes #source: unknown

[optimusprime3000]

Espresso: We're out of coffee.

Madeleine: I hid it. It's been two days since you last slept and you need some rest.

Espresso: Bold of you to assume it's only been two days.

#cookie run #madeleine cookie #espresso cookie #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

Espresso: Did you know small animals are more vicious because there anger has less space to be bottled up in?

Clotted Cream: That's ridiculous. Give me one example of this.

Financier: Spiders.

Gingerbrave: Wasps.

Wildberry: Crunchy Chip.

#cookie run #espresso cookie #clotted cream cookie #financier cookie #gingerbrave #wildberry cookie #crunchy chip cookie #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

*Fire Spirit driving a car he "totally" didn't hot wired*

Fire Spirit: Just so you know, I put my foot down to the floor, and I'm not lifting it until I either see God or a checkered flag.

Timekeeper, in the backseats: Hell yeah!

Sugar Swan, putting on her seat belt: Don't encourage him!

Wind Archer, in the front seat gripping for dear life: FIRE SPIRIT, PLEASE AT LEAST DRIVE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD-

#cookie run #fire spirit cookie #timekeeper cookie #sugar swan cookie #wind archer cookie #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

*meanwhile in a zoo*

Crunchy Chip: What are they in for?

Gingerbrave: Crunchy Chip, this isn't prison.

Crunchy Chip: So they can leave?

Gingerbrave: No, but-

Wildberry, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

#cookie run #crunchy chip cookie #gingerbrave #wildberry cookie #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

Clotted Cream: Okay, let's stop using the term "butthurt" we're not twelve anymore.

Crunchy Chip: You sound asstroubled.

Gingerbrave: A little bootybothered if you ask me.

Wildberry: Someone's having a tushytantrum.

#cookie run #clotted cream cookie #crunchy chip cookie #gingerbrave #wildberry cookie #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

I love this, tysm for drawing this!

@optimusprime3000

I think I might start over with moonlight cookie!

#cookie run #sea fairy cookie #moonlight cookie #sea fairy x moonlight #seamoon

[optimusprime3000]

*Wind Archer and Fire Spirit are tasked with building furniture*

Wind Archer: Okay, insert rod support A into slot B.

Fire Spirit, giggling: That's what-

Wind Archer: If you say "that's what she said" one more time, I'm gonna pop you.

#cookie run #wind archer cookie #fire spirit cookie #incorrect quotes #source: family guy

[optimusprime3000]

Pure Vanilla: Wait, how did you know White Lily and I were dating?

Hollyberry: You just seem really happy for the first time in a while.

Pure Vanilla: Aww, Hollyberry-

Hollyberry: I'm playing dude. I saw you two making out last week. Congratulations though.

#cookie run #pure vanilla cookie #white lily cookie #hollyberry cookie #pure vanilla x white lily #purelily #incorrect quotes #source: superstore

[optimusprime3000]

Sea Fairy: Alright, if we're going to be in this relationship, at least one of us should take on the more sensible role.

Moonlight: Dibs not it!

Sea Fairy: Damn it.

#cookie run #sea fairy cookie #moonlight cookie #sea fairy x moonlight #seamoon #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

Timekeeper: I poisoned someone's drink but I forgot which one

Sugar Swan: YOU DID WHAT?!

Fire Spirit: *pours drink down the drain*

Millennial Tree, muttering: The way this dinner's been going, I hope it's mine.

Wind Archer: *chugs the rest of his drink*

#cookie run #timekeeper cookie #sugar swan cookie #fire spirit cookie #millennial tree cookie #wind archer cookie #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

Sea Fairy, leaving the shower: Moonlight, could you get me a towel?

Moonlight, drooling: Sure... after I'm done staring.

#cookie run #sea fairy cookie #moonlight cookie #sea fairy x moonlight #seamoon #incorrect quotes

[optimusprime3000]

Gingerbrave: Good response to getting stabbed with a sword?

Hollyberry: "Rude."

White Lily: "That's fair."

Dark Cacao: "Not again."

Golden Cheese: "Are you gonna want this back, or can I keep it?"

#cookie run #gingerbrave #hollyberry cookie #white lily cookie #dark cacao cookie #golden cheese cookie

[optimusprime3000]

Clotted Cream: Fine, I admit it, I still can't swim. I never took those lessons at the community pool.

Financier: Consul, you promised!

Clotted Cream: They wanted to put me in the beginners class with the little kids! I can't be swimming around with a bunch of five year olds, they can be so cruel when they sense weakness.

Crunchy Chip: That's why, on the first day, you have to beat up the biggest one in the yard.

Wildberry: Crunchy Chip, that's prison.

Crunchy Chip: Only if you let it be.

#cookie run #clotted cream cookie #financier cookie #crunchy chip cookie #wildberry cookie #incorrect quotes #source: sonic boom

[optimusprime3000]

Judge: How do you plead?

Rougefort: *looks over at Langue de Chat*

Langue de Chat: *mouths "not guilty"*

Rougefort: Hot milky.

Langue de Chat: Just lock him up already

#cookie run #langue de chat cookie #rougefort cookie #incorrect quotes #source: twitter