nyxvrse
there is no answer to art
˗ˏˋ nyx ´ˎ˗ [they / them]
carrd :]
8077 posts
Last active 60 minutes ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
Text
I guess I left all of my troubles in my rearview mirror
With my head up above the clouds, the sky always staying clear
#i could be SOOOOO normal about him#i swear#i rlly could be !!1#i simply just CHOOSE not to#anyways#i need to jump his bones.
317 notes
·
View notes
Text
240427 preview ©️ 찬스온찬
240 notes
·
View notes
Text
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
petnames ( park sunghoon )
femreader fluff & headcanons — petnames he uses and in what instances he uses them in.
cw not proofread ㅤ& 398 words.
note repost from something i made a while ago :) i rlly liked this sooo here u go i love sunghoon
though it isn’t a petname, sunghoon calls you by your name the most. it’s not like he doesn’t like petnames, he does, he just prefers calling you by your name. to him it’s much more intimate than anything else he could possibly call you. he loves the way your name sounds coming from him paired with the 'i love you's that he only tells you.
he calls you baby whenever you feel upset; whether you're stressed about a project that you have due, sad because of a movie you two watched, or just feel icky in general. he’ll hug you, rub your back soothingly while he tells you how good you’re doing and how proud he is, how you’re okay and he’s always there for you, or how pretty you are. he calls you baby so that you know he means whatever it is he's saying and that he’s there to take care of you.
my girl is for when he’s feeling proud or smug. if he wins a small and petty argument the two of you had and you get annoyed with him, he’ll laugh and poke at your cheek, “aw, my poor girl.” or say he bought you something really expensive and you ask why on earth he would spend that much on you (he can tell you’re secretly happy), he’ll reply with, “what? i can’t spoil my girl with pretty things?”
besides your name, he uses babe the most. is it basic? yes. does he care? not really. he usually only uses it if you’re with your mutual friends or just.. out on errands or anywhere in public. he does it to subtly let other people know that you’re taken, he can not stand the thought of anyone attempting to hit on you while he’s with you. he’s not one for pda so he does this to make your relationship known.
finally, he calls you honey when he’s tired or wants something from you. he’ll pull out a whiny “honey”, draping his arms over your shoulders as he asks you for whatever it is that he wants (usually he just wants you to do his chores). if he’s tired then, he turns into the sweetest, most cuddly that he could possibly be. he’ll cling onto you, placing a bunch of kisses all over your face, mumbling against your skin, ”love you so so much, honey.”
188 notes
·
View notes
Text
A fine dude if I have ever seen one
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
TAG LIST ! @sunghoonnsupremacy @winuvs @rosas-in-the-garden @mnxnii @enhas-lvr @diorikis @whippedforbeomgyu @jiawji @welovechaes
taglist is open! send an ask to be added! dms and comments will be ignored.
bros before hoes ✰ chapter 04: Big Reveals
wc: 0.6k
Walking through the bright flashes of the cameras unfazed is child’s play to Sunghoon. After years of this in the rink, and some more of it as an idol, it’s practically second nature to him.
He smiles and waves a few times, fangs hidden behind his mask. He’s glad for the mask, it made hiding his anxious energy a lot easier.
Sunghoon had never been the best at meeting new people. Locked up either on the ice or in a studio, he was used to the sound of his movements and breathing being his only company.
He walks into the building quickly, his manager ushering him in. He’s dragged through the white halls, feet on autopilot.
His brain wanders on its own, conjuring up more and more unrealistic scenarios.
What if it is actually Tsuki? What if I trip in front of her??? And if it isn’t?? Then what? Should I make friends with them? Should I ask them to help me win over Tsuki?? What if I call them by the wrong name?? What if I pour coffee all over them?????
A wall of thoughts begin to build itself in his mind, each word adding to the wall’s height. Sunghoon frowns deeply, mind wandering farther and farther away.
Everything crashes down as his chest hit’s Manager Na’s arm. He finally sees the door in front of him, a cutesy label reading ‘NEW MCS’ adorning the top.
He looks at Manager Na curiously, finally opening the door when he nods.
Deep breath, Sunghoon. As his slender fingers wrap around the door handle, the icy coldness of it grounds him.
Pushing it open, Sunghoon is greeted to a small room with a couple mirrors and some couches.
In front of the only window in the room, he spots someone sitting, looking out the glass.
They turn around, and the sun forms a gentle halo around their face, highlighting the person’s radiant smile.
For a second Sunghoon’s heart sky rockets, hoping it’s Tsuki. Instantly his hopes are shattered as your face comes fully into view, still adorned with a smile.
For a full heartbeat you stare at him, drinking in each other’s presence. And then it hits Sunghoon, and both your faces morph into an expression of understanding.
The creaking of the door cuts through tension, as Manager Na begins to leave, ‘I see you both probably know each other! Sunghoon, I’ll get going, I have somethings to discuss with Manager Choi, introduce yourself,’ the door is almost closed at this point, his face just a sliver of its full self, ‘and for the love of all the is under the sun, do not embarrass our company. See you!’
Sunghoon huffs before making his way to you, awkward and shy.
You watch him intently, brain spinning in and out of focus. You take him in all his glory, his lanky legs and doubtful smile, memorising his every feature. You notice that he’s playing with his fingers, twisting one of the rings, taking it out and putting it back on.
He clears his throat and raises his hand, a timid greeting.
‘I’m Y/n, from NEXUS… I don’t know if you remember, but we met after last week’s Music Core stages?’ You ask meekly, hoping he does remember.
He nods quickly, brown hair flopping up and down.
You giggle quietly, and that is enough to break the ice. The conversation flows smoothly from there, the both of you exchanging niceties and also numbers.
Soon enough Manager Na comes to pick Sunghoon up, and he’s out of your sight.
You smile to yourself as you go back to the company, excitement for the next few months multiplying tenfold.
prev | m.list | next
synopsis > with the help of fukutomi tsuki, park y/n finally gains the courage to face their long time crush, the one and only, park sunghoon. park sunghoon thinks it's love at first sight when he sees her. paired up as the new mcs of music bank, shenanigans ensue when y/n learns about sunghoon's crush...
note: life has been lifing too much i swear i'll try better with this posting schedule 😭 also this is double beta read so hopefully there are no mistakes :')
©️ yangkitties 2024 do not copy, plagiarise, or repost
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you
genres! fluff?, angst, celebrity x celebrity, ex-lovers
word count! 1380
warnings! mention of breakup, heartbreak
synopsis! in another life, you and park sunghoon are lovers, just not in this one
mimi’s note! this fic was inspired by a quote from the movie ‘everything everywhere all at once’ also I'm not very good at writing angst because I hate it but I did my best
“Congrats, big shot,” a familiar voice says from behind you, and you can hear the teasing smile in his tone, “actress of the year award, you're in the big leagues now.”
You turn around to face Park Sunghoon, a renowned figure skater and your ex-boyfriend. You haven't seen each other in almost a year but the sight of him still has the same effect on you it did all those years ago.
He's hauntingly beautiful and you're a house of horrors.
You offer a polite smile, but it's bittersweet as if you were greeting death itself.
“Congratulations to you too, you're becoming a bit of an A-list yourself since you won the Olympics.” you quip, and you both know what kind of game you're going to play tonight.
It’s the same one you always play, the one where he pretends you didn’t break his heart and you pretend everything is fine.
Sunghoon smiles at you too, like you're everything he's ever had and everything he's ever lost.
“Maybe we should exchange autographs like middle schoolers trade Pokémon cards,” he says, and you both chuckle.
“Hmm, I have a feeling mines will be more valuable.”
He playfully puts a hand over his heart. “That’s hurtful, y/n, but I can’t deny that it’s also true.”
The gala was still roaring with life when you stepped out for some fresh air, you sat on concrete stairs, not caring if you got your 20,000-dollar dress dirty. You couldn't care about a lot of things lately.
You and Sunghoon had long parted ways, the conversation only lasted about five minutes before you were seated at your respective tables, you didn't see him again after that.
You’ve gotten everything you ever dreamed of at this point in your career, and you accomplished all your goals, in the beginning, it all seemed so impossible, but now that you're here and you've done it, you’re not so sure what's left anymore.
The sound of the door opening catches your attention, a tall, pale figure steps out, dressed in a purely black suit, and you recognize him instantly.
“Following me?” you prop your chin in your palm as your elbow rests on your knee, carrying the weight of your head as you tilt it playfully.
He’s not startled by the suddenness of your voice, which tells you, yes, he was looking for you.
He smiled. “Maybe.”
He sat next to you on the stairs, not caring if his 5,000-dollar suit got dirty, though it wasn't actually because he didn't care about the suit, but because he just wanted to be close to you.
You're both silent for a while, simply appreciating being in each other's presence after so long.
Or maybe it's because you don't know what to say and he has too much to say, so you settle for the piercing silence of unsaid words.
Sunghoon has been silent his whole life, but he promised himself tonight he wouldn't be.
“Was it worth it?”
Ah. There it is.
You think as the corners of your lips curl upward, you knew this question was coming, you sensed it the moment you saw him again.
If he had asked you that a year ago you would’ve said yes, no hesitation, no second thoughts, just a straight-up yes, and you would have meant it too.
Suddenly the silk fabric of your dress starts to itch your skin, your diamond embroidered heels start to hurt your feet, and your pearl jewelry feels too heavy.
In only a single minute, Park Sunghoon has stripped you of your persona, called you out for the fraud you are, and seen the real you.
And he accepted you.
You lie to save your pride, it's a habit of yours that he knows all too well.
He doesn't think you're perfect, but you would never have to be for him to love you.
“Sometimes,” you say.
You don't bother lying, he’ll know.
You had always been a good liar until Sunghoon came into your life.
He gently nods in understanding at your response, “Do you ever think about it? About us?”
With a chuckle, you reply, “Of course I do.”
It's true that sometimes leaving him is worth the life you're living now, but there are fragments of times when you imagine what your life could've been with him.
In another life, you never left Sunghoon, you got married, bought a home together, adopted a dog, and had a child.
On the surface that sounds nice, but in another life, you are a housewife with broken dreams, you bought a home together but it wasn't the one you always dreamed of because you had to compromise with Sunghoon, you adopted a dog but you were never really an animal person, and you had a child but motherhood was never for you.
In another life, you are happy to be a housewife, you and Sunghoon bought your dream home together, you adopted a dog that you both love, you had a child and you are the most loving mother.
In another life, you are not a housewife, you and Sunghoon bought a home even better than your dream home, you adopted a dog but you're more of a cat person, and you never had a child but you always wanted to be a mother.
In another life, you and Sunghoon work from home, you bought a decent home together, and although it's not your dream one, it's good enough, you adopted a cat, and you never had a child but because that's the way you liked things.
In another life, you and Sunghoon are divorced, the home you bought together is just walls and a roof with painful memories, you don't adopt any pets, and you never had a child.
In another life, Sunghoon is a househusband, you don't care about having a dream home because any place is home with him, you adopted a dog and a cat, and you had a child who has everything they could ever want.
In another life, you and Sunghoon are teenagers again falling in love for the very first time, and you have no idea what the future holds for you.
In another life, you and Sunghoon are just a little bit younger than you are now, in the kitchen of your shared apartment, and you are trying to figure out how to do laundry so all your clothes don’t turn blue again and how to properly calculate your taxes so you don’t go to prison for tax fraud.
In another life, you and Sunghoon have grown old together, and you are experts at doing laundry and taxes.
In another life, you are the bottles of salt and pepper on the table of a random diner and things are entirely less complicated.
In another life, you never meet Park Sunghoon.
The possibilities are endless, and the truth is, you never know what will happen in your life, and that's scary, but you hope in another life you learn to accept the bad just as easily as you accept the good.
“What does it look like?” he asks.
“Laundry and taxes,” you shrug.
You both laugh at that.
“What about you?” you ask.
“Taxes and laundry,” he smiles.
You both laugh again.
The party inside is completely forgotten about as you and Sunghoon spend what feels like hours just sitting and talking, until the realization that it’s time to go home dawns on you.
Sunghoon gets up first, holding his hand out for you to take, and you do, but when he helps you to your feet he doesn't let go just yet, instead, he looks into your eyes and you feel his thumb caress your knuckles.
“It was nice to see you again, y/n.”
“It was good to see you again too, Sunghoon.”
He finally lets you go and you already miss his warmth.
He almost walks away but turns to face you one last time.
With a hint of a smile on his lips, he says, “You know, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”
And then Park Sunghoon walks out of your life forever, and you let him.
In another life, things didn't end that way.
© 2024 sjyluv, all rights reserved | do not repost, translate, or plagiarize
#what the fuck#why would you do that to me#what if I killed myself#what the fuck.#TWEAKING#oh this was SO good???#the pain was INCREDIBLE???#the writing is js *chef’s kiss*#actually loosing my mind a little#wow op. just wow#*fic rec
378 notes
·
View notes
Text
HYUNJIN | ELLE x CARTIER (instagram ver)
#he wants me to kill myself#what the hell#he’s so fine#chewing bricks#clawing at the walls#going bonkers bananas tbh
973 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys I love sunghoon so much it's unreal I need to kiss all over his bunny teeth and fangs and those pretty moles and I need to intertwine my hands with his big ones and cuddle and snuggle and drink hot chocolate together wrapped in a warm blanket while I'm seated on his lap and bury my face in the crook of his warm neck and sleep a long sleep, y'all don't get it.
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reblog to let your followers know that despite your current obsession your previous obsessions still exist and are simply lying dormant until they awaken and strike again
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
shade of red.
엔하이픈 니키 ୨୧ female reader three hundred non-idol fluff established relationship + cw. not proof-read skinship kissing ( other )
your fingers delicately pose on your boyfriend’s cheek, slightly rubbing your thumb against his soft skin, he fights the urge to open his eyes— he doesn’t like when you say his name in a annoyed tone— and riki thinks falling in love is embarrassing.
he feels tickles when your pass the eyeliner’s pen on his eyelid, he knows that feeling too well, he feels the same in his stomach when you kiss him. he opens one of his eyes, just a tad so you don’t notice; your concentrated expression is beyond cute and despite the fact that it has only been three minutes since you last told him to close his eyes, he missed admiring your features.
“riki,” you sigh, shooting him a annoyed look then putting the eyeliner down. you tilt your head to the side, he mirrors your move while frowning a bit and he watches a smile forming on youthful lips alongside the fondness in your gaze. “you are lucky i finished this eye, i could’ve messed up”
in a whisper, as you put the pen in your makeup’s case, riki’s voice is soft and filled with love, just like the way he talks to you most of the time, “but, what’s the point of being here if i can’t admire you?”
a clear shade of red appears on your cheeks —and the boy sitting in front of you cringes at his words, his mouth tends to talk on it’s own, especially when you are around; but he loves to see your reactions.
you take the mirror, putting it in-front of your face to hide your embarrassment, riki sees his reflection on the mirror; you did a really great job with the makeup, “when you look at me, it makes me nervous”
it’s as if a flower blossoms inside of his chest, taking over his body, filling all his sense with the thought of you only. his hands find your mirror, putting it on the side, the sight of your pretty face— your flush and your eyes looking at him— his heartbeat goes up. whereupon his lips find yours, he knows, falling in love is embarrassing.
i love writing riki as the sweetest and most caring boyfriend ever (_ _).｡o○
488 notes
·
View notes
Text
Taking anti-depressant pills?? Seeing a therapist??? Journaling???? No need babe, my fav writer just dropped another x reader fic.
22K notes
·
View notes
Text
svt's pillar kim mingyu🐶🖤
861 notes
·
View notes
Text
can’t get you off my mind
all good love stories start with a drunk stranger, don’t they?
warnings: mentions of alcohol, fem!reader
genre: fluff, comfort
word count: 4k
it starts at a bar.
or really, it starts with a man at a bar. one that you’ve seen before in passing, a familiar face in a sea of more familiar faces. someone who you’ll later learn is one third of your best friend changbin’s production team, someone who you should have met years ago probably, someone who you would find is the perfect puzzle piece that fits into your jagged edges.
but right now, he is just a man at a bar with a beer in hand and a ridiculously dopey smile on his face.
“marry me, please,” he says, absolutely serious but it’s a bit diluted from the way his words were slurred around the edges. “or i’ll have to kidnap you.”
“excuse me?” you raise a brow at him, his image swimming a bit as you turn your head to fully take him in. you’re not drunk, but youre a couple glasses of wine deep and you’re not known for being fully articulate whilst sober anyways.
“i swear i’m going to marry you,” he says, eyes wide as he looks at you. “you might be the most perfect person i’ve ever seen.”
you’re not overly fond of men you haven’t met hitting on you, but this one seems a bit harmless. if you ignored the part where he said he would kidnap you. at least he wasn’t grabbing onto you or trying to touch you - that would have sent your fist flying towards his face and probably a swift exit from the bar. it was a little weird that you didn’t find him weird, but in retrospect you must have known, even then.
“okay, listen,” you put your hands on your hips, giving him an unimpressed look. “if you find me when you’re sober, ask me again and maybe i’ll reconsider.”
“okay,” he nods, hair moving along with his movement like a puppy’s ears. “i can do that. i’ll find you, i promise. i’m gonna marry you, did you know?”
“so i’ve heard,” you roll your eyes, already feeling a bit fond about him. you didn’t think you’d meet him again, but you were sure that you’d look at this night with a fond smile later.
he sends you the brightest smile you think you’ve ever seen on a person and scampers off, and you stand rooted to that one sticky spot in the bar for longer than you want to admit.
–
he’s in the back of your mind when you wake up the next morning, in a better mood than most - you never liked waking up early, it always took you a good hour and some coffee to be able to stand without grimacing. this morning though, you float around your apartment as you get dressed with a small smile on your face.
a cute stranger who kept his boundaries and called you perfect? that wasn’t something that happened often, at least not to you.
the floatiness followed you all the way through your morning routine until you found your feet stopping outside the coffee shop that you and changbin all but owned. you had no stock in it, but you’re sure that you supply them at least half of their revenue, you probably sit on their rickety chairs more often than your actual couch at home. this place has nursed you through every college class and job interview preparations and beyond, and if it ever closed you might lose time off of your life span.
your movements from the door to the counter to your usual seat were robotic, muscle memory taking over while your head did somersaults through the clouds. it’s only when you take the first sip of coffee, the bitterness and heat hitting your tongue in a delightful dance, that you notice it.
another man is sitting next to changbin. a man that looks awfully familiar, and it takes you a moment to realize why. it’s the man from the bar.
“changbin?” you keep your eyes on the other man as you direct your question at changbin, trying hard to keep your face neutral. “explain?”
“i’m chan,” the man interjects before changbin can answer, reaching his hand across the table for you to shake. it’s warm, his grip somewhere perfectly in the middle of too hard and too soft, and he lets go after an appropriate amount of seconds. despite the neutral passivity of the gesture, you feel something ignite within you, and it threatens to sputter out when you catch no spark of recognition in his eyes. was he that drunk last night that he doesn’t remember you? do his sober eyes not find you as perfect?
“he crashed at my place last night,” changbin’s voice filters through your turmoil, and you finally break away from chan’s gaze to level him with a look. “and he needed coffee, so i brought him along. chan, this is y/n, my best friend.”
the conversation that followed flowed more freely than the coffee dripping from the machines behind the counter, and you almost hate how much you like it. chan is a little goofy, the man from the previous night shining through moments of seriousness and rapt attention.
by the time you had to leave to go to work you felt like you knew him. you learned where he lived (close to you!), that he worked with changbin (he’s a producer!), and that he loved all animals but he adored dogs (he has one named berry!). just an hour of casual conversation had led to you needing more of him in every aspect of your life, but still in the back of your head lived the thought of him not remembering you from the night before.
changbin leaves first, citing some meeting he had to run to in the middle of a yawn, and when you were left with chan the embarrassment began to set in.
“i’m going to marry you,” he blurts out, startling you so much you almost jump out of your seat.
“what?” you ask, a mixture of surprise and disbelief combining into a confusing vortex within your head - was he going to go through this again? you didn’t know if your heart could take it.
“i mean, i remember you,” he says before you could awkwardly excuse yourself and commit to getting to work early for the first time in a year just to escape being in a room alone with him for much longer. “i’m sorry, i was just embarrassed. i didn’t want to make a fool out of myself in front of changbin.”
“oh,” your breath leaves you all at once and you slump into your chair, understanding hitting you like a train. “that makes sense? i think?”
“i’m going to marry you,” he repeats, a mischievous glint in his eyes, the boy from last night shining through. “one day. i’m going to do it.”
“take me on a date first,” you tease back, a genuine smile stretching across your lips when he laughs, a full bodied thing that drew in eyes from the patrons across the room. for once, you didn’t seem to care that others’ eyes were on you. he made you feel comfortable.
“what are you doing tomorrow?” his mouth turns upwards into a beautiful smile that you can’t help but return.
“eager, are we?” you open your phone, sliding it across the table with the new contact page open on it. “i’m free.”
“you’re the most perfect person i’ve ever laid eyes on,” he says, as serious and genuine as the way he had proposed to you last night as he taps his number into your phone. “sorry if i’m a bit desperate.”
“don’t apologize,” you take your phone back, making a mental note to text him later. “i like it, for some unearthly reason. you’re cute, chan.”
the sound of his delighted laugh follows your footsteps all the way to work.
—
he picks you up for your first date at noon, right on the dot. he wasn’t a minute late, a polite knock sounding through your apartment just as the hour turned, as if he had been waiting and watching the time outside the door.
god, is everything about this man endearing?
he’s wearing shorts and a light sweater, looking like something out of a posh magazine. his hair is curly and swept off his forehead and he’s wearing a smile with the most adorable dimples shining through.
he leads you to his car and you have to hold back an impressed whistle. you knew changbin and his team did well for themselves, the name 3racha all over the credits of songs on the radio, but this car was nice. you were going to have a talk with changbin about why he still drove the same beat up sedan he’s had since college but that was a thought for later. right now all you wanted to think about was the man who held the door open for you to slide into the passenger seat and was now holding your hand over the middle console.
“do i get to know where we’re going?” you ask, peering at the map open on his phone but it tells you nothing more than that your destination was 15 minutes away and that he had to make a right turn in one mile.
“it’s a surprise,” he says, voice a little nervous but it was masked with excitement. wherever he was taking you, you would be happy to be there if he was this happy the whole time.
four songs on the radio later, one of which you teased him for when he revealed that he wrote it, he was pulling into a parking lot illuminated by flashing colorful lights. he had brought you to the fair.
“i’ve never been to the fair!” you bounced a little in your seat, wriggling in excitement. “i’ve always wanted to go, how did you know?”
“lucky guess?” he shrugs, avoiding your gaze as he cuts the engine and unbuckles his seatbelt.
“changbin told you, didn’t he,” you smile at the thought of chan asking his friend about what you’d like. it was cute, a word that you were probably exhausting when thinking about him even after a day of knowing him.
“yes, but,” he flushes, the tips of his ears burning red. “i asked him after i had decided to come here, just to make sure it was a good idea. i didn’t steal it from him.”
“hey, it’s okay,” you squeeze his hand in yours that he had yet to let go of in what you hoped was a comforting gesture. you didn’t know what brought him calmness yet, but you wanted to learn. you wanted to learn everything about him. “now, take me to the fair, bang chan. i was promised a date.”
he finally meets your eyes again and he’s grinning so happily that you feel like you had just won a prize. who needed a fair when you had your very own carnival game right here?
it turns out, you did. by the time the sun was beginning to set, your arms were full of various plushies that chan had won for you, each one earning him a hug and a kiss to his cheek. you treasured every single one, the fluttering in your chest when he stepped up to the booths to throw and shoot various things never ceasing.
“let’s go to the ferris wheel,” you tug at him with your free hand, thanking the skies when you see no queue there. “i bet the sunset looks beautiful from the top.”
he’s quiet when he follows you there and into the carriage, his thigh pressing against yours as he slides in next to you, but you don’t notice in your excitement. it isn’t until the wheel ticks to the top and stops that he grabs your hand again, trembling a little.
“chan? are you okay?” you ask, concern warping your voice as you turn towards him. your movement rocks the carriage a bit and he turns pale, ducking his head into your neck to hide.
“yeah, ‘m okay,” he murmurs, his eyelashes ticking your skin when he blinks his eyes shut. “just don’t like heights very much.”
“oh my god, why didn’t you tell me?” you cry out, jumping a bit and regretting it when you rock the carriage again. “nevermind that, what can i do? it’ll go down soon, you’ll be alright.”
“just keep holding my hand?” he squeezes your fingers lightly and your heart melts. you may have made a joke that he was just trying to trick you into holding his hand any other time, but the fear in his shaking body was real and you’d never tease him for that.
“of course,” you press a kiss to his hair, moving your other hand slowly to wrap around your intertwined fingers. the wheel begins to turn again, swaying the carriage as it descends. you keep your grip on his hand tight the entire time, all the way until you’re on your feet again on steady ground.
“i’m so sorry,” you begin to say, the horror of subjecting him to his fear creeping up now that the crisis has passed.
“i’m going to marry you,” he says, cutting off your apology and lifting your hands to his mouth so he could press a kiss to the back of yours. “no one’s ever been able to keep me that calm. thank you.”
you were left speechless after that and all you could do was smile at him, the ghost of it not leaving your face for the rest of the night.
–
your thirty first date with chan ends with you crying into changbin’s arms, utterly confused and the feeling of despair creeping up your veins. you had met him your cafe as you had done several times since the fair, but when you arrived he wasn’t there. he came late, dark storms in his eyes and a hard set to his jaw and you didn’t understand what had made him like that. the usual smile and twinkle in his eyes were missing, and when you and asked him about what was wrong he had snapped at you in a way you hadn’t been talked to in years.
you had left after that, brushing him off when his eyes had widened and he reached for you while calling out your name. you know that you should have given him a chance to explain, but at the time you were too hurt to consider it.
you made your way to changbin’s apartment without thinking, your feet taking you to safety before your head could catch up. changbin had taken one look at your face before wrapping you up in his arm, walking you to his couch so he could cuddle you properly while words spilled out of you like a leaky faucet. you felt like you were back in college, crying and blubbering over a boy who had rejected you at a party, and you hated it.
you didn’t notice changbin sending an angry text to chan, but the sound of changbin’s door opening with a bang startled you out of your tears. chan bursts in like a whirlwind, his hair sticking up at weird angles and a look of panic on his face as he takes you in. he reaches the couch in a few strides and falls to his knees in front of you, holding a crumpled bag from the cafe in his hand and taking your cheek gently into his other. his thumb wipes at the tear tracks there and you could practically taste the guilt emanating off of him.
“love, i am so sorry,” he starts, ignoring changbin when he scoffs at the apology. “i shouldn’t have snapped at you, i had no right to do that. i got some bad news this morning and i wasn’t feeling my best, and i should have been honest with you. i’ll never do anything like that again, please forgive me? i’ll do anything.”
it was more his voice than his words that did it - he sounded so desperate, like he was trying to hold
onto a ledge that was crumbling, threatening to hurl his body into eternal nothingness. you knew him, you knew he was sorry, and against your first instinct you trusted him when he said he wouldn’t do it again.
“is that an almond croissant?” you eye the bag in his hand.
“it’s two almond croissants,” he nods fervently, his hair swishing back and forth with the movement. you sit up, sliding out of changbin’s arms and onto the floor in front of chan. chan’s arms replace changbin’s easily when you lean into him, and it feels like coming home.
“it’s not like i have a nice couch you could be sitting on,” changbin mutters as he leaves, shaking his head fondly at the two of you before making himself scarce.
chan kisses you, cradling your head gently into his hands, and they’re so warm. he slides his lips against yours, slowly like he’s taking his time memorizing the planes of your mouth to commit to memory. even after kissing him dozens of times you still find new things to learn about each other.
“i swear,” he says, pulling away to meet your eyes. “i’m going to marry you, someday.”
“keep getting me croissants as apologies and we’ll see,” you say, sniffling into his neck.
—
your eighty seventh date was spent in your bed, your head spinning like both hands on a clock simultaneously and your body exuding more sweat than you ever have.
chan is wringing out a cool cloth to place on your forehead and it feels so nice that you moan.
“i’m sorry,” you mutter, and chan has lost count of the amount of times you’ve said it at this point. “we had a date and i ruined it.”
“we were going to see a movie,” he says, running a hand up and down your spine. “and we will. we don’t need a movie theater when we have a screen right here, hmm?”
“but the popcorn,” you complain, closing your eyes in bliss when he runs a hand through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp. an apology for being so sweaty was at the tip of your tongue but you hold it back in favor of enjoying the feeling of his touch.
“i’ll make you all the popcorn you want when you’re feeling better,” he promises, dropping a kiss to the side of your head. “for now, how does soup sound?”
“popcorn soup?“ you ask, a wave of dizziness taking over your body; if you weren’t lying down already, you’re sure that too would be falling over.
“yeah, baby,” and even in your delirium the fondness in his voice was prominent. he couldn’t hide it even if he tried. “i’ll make you some popcorn soup. get some rest okay?”
you’re asleep before he leaves the room, and you only wake up when he shakes your shoulder a bit and helps you into an upright position. he feeds you bites of what is definitely not popcorn soup after putting a movie on your laptop, the screen sitting at the foot of your bed. the both of you fall asleep before the movie finishes, but you don’t mind.
he stays with you for days, making you soup and tea and toast and feeding you medicine and being an all-around angel as he nurses you back to health. by the time you’re better you think you’ve fallen back in love with him several times.
as you had expected and warned him about, he catches your sickness the next week, and now it’s your turn to be his nurse. you try and do the same job he did, but his delirium seems worse. the silver lining is that his fever isn’t as bad, so you’re babysitting a babbling boyfriend more than a sick one.
the night before his fever breaks is the worst, since he doesn’t even recognize you. you shake your head at his silliness when he asks who you are and calls you pretty. you smile when he takes your hand in his and asks you to come closer.
you tear up when he tells you that he has a girlfriend that he loves very much and so even though you’re pretty he can’t do anything else because his girlfriend is the prettiest one in the whole world. you let a tear slip when he tells you that he can’t wait to propose to his girlfriend and that he’s going to marry her someday.
you tell him that you have a boyfriend that you're going to marry someday, trusting that he wouldn’t remember it in the morning.
—
your hundredth and fifth date was not unlike your fifth, or your tenth, or your ninetieth. two and a half years later, you were just as endeared by him and he was just as obsessed with you - even more so, if it were possible.
he takes the time to tell you how gorgeous you look when he picks you up just like he does on every date, and you hide your disgustingly fond smile for him behind his back like you do every time you see him.
he parks and runs around the car to let you out like he does every time you habit this restaurant, a little fancier than your usual best but it was a favorite of the both of yours - across the street from the bar the two of you had met at.
you start walking before he does, letting him jog to meet you and complain about how you left him, just like you do every time. before him. you might have thought the monotony would have gotten tiring, but he had a fantastical ability to make every moment feel like the first despite their practiced nature.
he calls your name from behind you right on schedule and you hum in acknowledgement, turning towards him absentmindedly. the second you lay eyes on him you’re completely alert, though; he isn’t jogging after you, but rather he’s kneeling on the sidewalk, a small box in his hands as he smiles up at you.
“i’ve told you that i’m going to marry you more times than i can count,” he starts, eyes shining like the stars twinkling in the night sky above you. “but this time i’m asking you.”
“chan,” you choke out, hands coming up to cover your mouth as it quivers. tears spring to your eyes and you silently curse yourself - you always thought you’d be level headed when you got proposed to, but nothing could have prepared you for this, not even the thousands of declarations he had made to you prior.
“i love you. you’re the only one in the entire universe that i need more than blood or breath, you’re the song that runs through my heart and the fire that leads my path when i’m lost,” his voice is thick, like he’s trying to hold back his emotions long enough to get his words out. “i never thought that i would feel so strongly for someone, i never thought that i deserved a love like this until i met you.”
he pauses as you walk closer to him, letting you approach him before he continues.
“my love, my eternal light,” he’s tearing up now, blinking fast to keep the salty water at bay. “will you marry me?”
“chan,” you start, kneeling down next to him and taking his wrists in your hands. “i never told you this, but ever since that first day i knew. i knew that the drunk idiot that was hitting on me would be my husband.”
he chuckles, smiling delightedly as the tears finally spring from both of your eyes in unison.
“so?” he trails off, searching your face with his eyes, waiting.
“oh!” you tighten your grip on him in an apology. “of course i’ll marry you, gosh i love you so much.”
#WHAT IF I KILL MYSELF#WHAT IF I WAS MENTALLY UNSTABLE#WHAT THEN OP#TWEAKING#GENUINELY SOBBING#ME. WHEN.#GODDDDD#I LOVE HYIM#*fic rec
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
#my little princess#i love him#my koochi koochi koo#isnt he so cute#love this#(sorry for the unhinged tags im js a girl)
2K notes
·
View notes
