na-baekjin-love

[na-baekjin-love]

I managed to get another chapter done :D

#weak hero #na baekjin #donald na #fanfic #wildmender

[na-baekjin-love]

This. Just this.

I was so relieved when I learndd of the Korean name. And confused why they renamed the chars at all. Especially as they stopped doing it further into the story.

I love baekjin but dear god his anglicized name hurts me so much

[na-baekjin-love]

I got around to writing something again. :)

#weak hero #na baekjin #donald na #fanfic #au #isekai #Wildmender

[na-baekjin-love]

im soooo happy you're back.

I love your writing style.

Could u please do union with so that changed their hair and are now hotter

Like dyed it or cut it

when you change your hair ;

weak hero union x gn!reader

donald na

➤ when you come home with bleached white-blonde hair like his, donald doubles over in laugher

➤ you’d be shooting pouty glares at him from across the room, causing donald to get up (still laughing, might i add) and wrap his arms around you

➤ “oh, darling. what did you do?” “i thought we could match… stop laughing!”

jake ji

➤ oh. my. god. bro falls head over heels for your new look

➤ you’d been sporting long hair for as long as jake had known you, so when you show up one day with your hair chopped to your shoulders, jake cannot keep his hands to himself

➤ i see him constantly appearing out of nowhere to touch the ends of your short hair. he’d do this so much that you end up snapping at him to leave your head alone, but of course, that doesn’t work

wolf keum

➤ you don’t know why, but the bright lime green dye was calling your name from the second you walked into your salon

➤ when you lifted the back of your hair and showed wolf the neon color underneath, all he could do was blink and say “why does it suit you so well?”

➤ like, wolf (aka the guy with Purple™️ hair) is confused as to why that hideous shade of lime looks amazing on you. the one color he voted to ban from salons everywhere

jimmy bae

➤ you always complained about how much you hated how your outgrown bangs would slip from behind your ears and fall into your eyes

➤ when jimmy suggested for you to get a haircut, he wasn’t entirely serious. he liked those cliche moments where he could tuck your hair behind your ear

➤ imagine his surprise when you come home with your bangs cropped short

➤ you look great, don’t get me wrong, but jimmy will mourn his excuses to getting in your personal space to play with your previously long bangs

jack kang

➤ you’d wanted to cut your hair short for a long time and always told jack you’d do it one day

➤ when you said short, he didn’t think you meant short. your hair was now nearly as short as his, and when jack first saw you, he couldn’t get his jaw off the floor

➤ “y/n… you’re bald!” “shut up, jack, no i’m not!”

➤ still, after the stock settles, your new look grows on your boyfriend. he likes running his fingers over the soft, short hairs above the back of your neck

dean kwon

➤ you decided to get a perm and you loved it. it was older, something you’d never done before, but you hoped your boyfriend dean would find it pretty as well

➤ not only did dean find your new hairstyle “pretty”, but he also couldn’t keep his hands to himself

➤ his fingers often ended up mindlessly tangled in your locks, twirling and twisting your curls as he focused on other work

[na-baekjin-love]

BJ with his silly crush over a woman who is older than him (since he is 17 than let's make Y/N around 23-25)

(might be his therapist)

I think Baekjin would love a woman who understand him and Y/N is definitely is the one of closest person to him. The one who always ask his well-being and give him support both mentally and physically (don't think weird. Just a pats on the shoulder or hug)

(because she is a therapist duh)

Regardless, Y/N just see him as a little brother :)

You mentioned a therapist multiple times. You're getting a therapist. :)

"Alright, then I think we can end this session here. Why don't you think it over a bit further until the next one?"

Initially, Na Baekjin hadn't wanted to go to therapy. Needing to take medication was bad enough-and he still wasn't sure why he had let Kwon Seokhyeon talk him into getting it prescribed.

The medication had helped a little. A slight, small change during the hader days that made it just a bit better, a bit to get up and do stuff. To leave the bed and leave the apartment and get stuff done.

But while there were harder days, there were also *bad* days, when memories pushed down onto him and everything seemed to overlay with the morgue and the cold light with his mother covered up by a sheet.

The medication had made it easier, a bit better over time but then that effect had platoed but... he had dared to dream. To hope just a little that he would be able to be less... haunted.

You had asked him during the first session if there was something specific he wanted to get out of this and he had somehow managed to choke out at least part of the truth. That there were days where it was just *hard* and the medication just wasn't enough.

You knew that it wasn't very professional to give hugs to clients, but once he started to reveal layer by layer, what had already happened to him in his rather short life, a bit of platonic affextion to offset the otherwise rather bleak social life was just another step to helping him.

People could get literally sick from lack of contact after all.

And Na Baekjin thrived and was a lot calmer about opening up little by little in response to that behaviour

There weren't many hugs, but sometimes, when a heavy topic was breached, it did wonders to ground him.

You knew it wasn't really healthy as a therapist to be such a big stabilising part in his life, but he was fifteen and a leader in his age group and sometimes your commitment to professional distance just crumbled.

You refused to regret it, though, as with each greeting and genuine interest his responses his behaviour was just a bit calmer.

He was fifteen, a child, and sometimes your own motherhenning tendencies just reared their heads.

He would get better and You would keep giving him the necessary support until then.

#weak hero #na baekjin #donald na #ask

[na-baekjin-love]

Hi, I absolutely loved your Weak Hero collections. There are just so few of them in here, and you did such an amazing job capturing their personalities. I'm a great sucker for angst, so if requests are open, and you're comfortable with it, I was wondering if you could do a scenario where Y/N gets seriously hurt while taking the hit for them? Like they get in between and get stabbed/punched/near death? Basically, it's their fault you get hurt?

You can write for any, but I'd really like a Wolf Keum one...

Thank you tons and absolutely loved your writing style :p

YES omg i’ve been wanting to write angst and i LOVEEE wolf. THANK YOU SO MYCH

when you get seriously hurt ;

weak hero x gn!reader

wolf keum. stabbed

➤ you had a bad feeling. you tried convincing wolf not to leave that night, but he didn’t listen. when did he ever?

➤ the union was never safe, but recently, the violence has gotten more extreme. you’d witnessed old friends of yours falling into the fighting scene and ending up in the hospital

➤ you even caught yourself waiting by the front door until you see your boyfriend through the window and have to stop yourself from running out to greet him

➤ you’re doing just that one evening, watching, when you see wolf’s purple hair appear. you’re about to welcome him in when something behind him catches your eye

➤ without thinking, you throw the door open and run out to him. wolf is too distracted by your presence to notice the masked man behind him with a knife. “wolf, look out!”

➤ you just barely shove him out of the way when you feel a sharp pain in your side. you instantly fall to your knees, and you can tell wolf hesitates on whether to grab you or chase the man who did this, not realizing you’d just been stabbed

➤ when he does realize what’s going on, wolf would just stare at you with wide eyes

➤ his panic response is always fight, never flight, but he can’t fight this. he stands over you, frozen, for a few moments before calling for help and dropping to your side

➤ “you okay?” he’d ask in a distance voice, more for himself than you, but you know from all the times of cleaning wolf up what to do in a situation like this

➤ you’d have to take wolf’s hands in yours and press them against your stab wound, trying your very hardest to keep calm in this situation, since you can tell by the daze in wolf’s eyes that he’s in shock and won’t be much help

➤ “you’re not going to die. you’re fine,” wolf would repeat, and you’d just nod and focus on your breathing. “i’m fine. you can’t get rid of me this easy.”

donald na. shot

➤ you and donald had been walking home from a date one evening when you noticed someone following you

➤ when you move to warm donald, he only places a hand over yours, catching your eye and shaking his head to signal “no”

➤ that’s when you start to panic, because donald isn’t the type of person to back down or step away from a fight. you assumed it was because you were with him, but donald had seen the light catch on the follower’s hand and knew that this wasn’t something he could punch his way out of

➤ you’d just passed a corner when donald suddenly shoved you forward and turned back to tackle the follower. he had him pinned, weapon tossed to the side, and looked back at you when his eyes widened. “y/n!”

➤ but you’re frozen when you hear something click behind you. there were two of them.

➤ you barely have time to scream when the person pulls the trigger, and white flashes before your eyes as you fall to the ground

➤ donald wastes no time jumping off of the first man to run to you, ignoring the sound of him running away as he holds you in his arms and presses both hands harshly against your shoulder

➤ donald is calculated. he is talented and skilled in fighting. he doesn’t know how to keep calm against a bullet wound in the person he loves most

➤ he’d be too afraid to pull his hands off of the wound to use his phone to call for help, and thankfully a helpful pedestrian would run over and call for you instead

➤ donald would ride in the ambulance with you the entire way there, keeping you talking and laughing as he tried to get himself to stop shaking

gray yeon. glass cut

➤ typically, gray is aware of his surroundings at all times during a fight. your presence threw him off guard and wasn’t something he took into account

➤ you didn’t mean to be there. you had almost been home when you realized you’d forgotten one of your notebooks in your desk and turned back to retrieve it from the school. it wasn’t your intention to stumble upon a fight

➤ you can tell right away that something is wrong. everyone looks too tense, like they’re all afraid of more than just a few bruises

➤ then you see it. on the ground is a boy you recognize from your 1st period, laying in a pool of blood too big to be from fists

➤ there’s another, taller boy standing above him with something clutched tightly in his fist. when he realizes what he’d done, his hands tremble and he runs away from the group. runs right toward you

➤ it was clear by his face that he was scared. it was obvious that this was an accident, and you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time

➤ you move too slow as you step out of his way, and pain flares in your middle as the broken shard of glass sliced into you

➤ it takes no time at all for you to lose your balance as blood seeps into your once clean white uniform shirt

➤ you were so distracted on trying to apply pressure to your wound that you didn’t even notice gray sprinting toward you, his eyes wet with worry

➤ “what happened, what happened?” he’s repeating his words like a mantra as he falls to your side as assesses the situation. you can tell he’s trying to be brave, but there are tears rolling down his cheeks as he desperately covers your hands with his

➤ he’d be a trembling mess, his mind completely jumbled as thought of stephan fill his head. how he couldn’t help him. he wasn’t about to make the same mistake with you, too

➤ gray would tear the sleeve from his jacket to wrap around your wound and keep pressure with one hand as he calls an ambulance with the other

ben park. ganged up on. beaten

➤ ben can usually handle himself well. even when he’s outnumbered, his focus is only on himself and the men fighting him. not you

➤ the two of you would be walking home from a date one evening when a group of new union members trying to impress donald na surround you

➤ ben would instinctively pull you close to him, and you can’t help but shrink back when you notice how his face hardens and his chest puffs out

➤ “you’re big ben, right?” “…” “so you are! we figured, you know, if we rough you up a little, maybe we’ll get on donald’s good side!”

➤ you weren’t that afraid until more of them started trickling in around you, and soon a group of rowdy teenagers had formed around you and your boyfriend

➤ when the first kid charges, ben knocks him to the ground with a single strike. you aren’t sure what these boys thought they could do, but as more approached, you started worrying for ben

➤ thankfully, he’d been teaching you basic self defense, but you’d never had to use it in real life as he’d always been there to protect you

➤ it happened so fast. more and more kept appearing, and soon ben was overwhelmed. you fought off as many as you could, but when one of the boys threw a brick at the back of your head, you were done and taking kick after kick

➤ ben only noticed when he realized how quiet you’d gotten. when he sees you on the ground, not moving, all he’d see is red

➤ less than a minute later, you’d be in his arms with your body pressed against his chest as he runs to the nearest hospital, begging you to be okay

[na-baekjin-love]

World domination.

Or a very scary situation for everyone trying to take advantage of Suho.

I would pay to read it.

That reminds me, I wrote something similar once.

The best thing there could be

Can you imagine what would have happened if Gray and Stephen had gotten together with Donald and not Bryce?

[na-baekjin-love]

Well, the final chapter is out and there is gonna be an epilogue in November, if I read the date right.

And Ji Hakho mentioned how Kwon Seokhyeon is digging into what exactly happened that day, so I have still hope.

Seeing as Yongsu Jang went to Cheongang because he had run out of people to borrow money from in Yeongdeungpo, it would seem possible for Seokhyeon to find a trail that leads him back to Cheongang.

Only hope is left now.

Why I think the Truck is Cheongang's Fault

With Weak Hero about to get what SEOPASS claims is the final chapter, I just need to detail why I think that the truck is Cheongang's fault.

It starts in chapter 202 when some guy (Yongsu Jang), who owns a transportation company, wants to get a loan from Cheongang. Changhui calls him out on the fact that he ran out of people to loan him money in Yeongdeungpo and that he (Yongsu Jang) wants to disappear to the Philippines with the money.

Changhui tell Yongsu that, if he does him a favour, he'll let it slide, let that man have a new start and everything, if Jang-Il transportation can pull off one job.

So, why show that scene to the reades? Yes, the guy is also the one owning the Arcade where Doyoon and Sieun fight, but why mention that "job" at all? What could be that important that Changhui would let this slide?

Changhui also mentioned before the fight by the Han River, that he plans to take care of the winning side, while they are weakened and if you look at the crowd assembled to fight Eunjang, you may have noticed a few faces familiar from the Cheongang arc. As in, people that are members of Cheongang on the Union side.

Why ware they there? Why would they bother to turn up? In my opnion they would have been there, to report to Changhui the end result of the fight and when it would be time to 'deal with the winner'.

But after the fight nothing happens. Eunjang gets to walk away, the Union disbands, Joo Seongjin gets his ass kicked, no sign of Cheongang turning up...

And then Baekjin gets hits by a truck.

So yes, I think that was a pre planned hit, arranged by Changhui.

The last question I am pondering now is the following:

If Park Humin or Yeon Sieun had won, would the truck have hit them?

(I am still hoping for later released post epilogue chapters/side stories/spin-offs... you can't tell me that Cheongang gets to continue as before when all other 'evil parties' got smacked down and the Union disbanded as well.)

[na-baekjin-love]

Why I think the Truck is Cheongang's Fault

With Weak Hero about to get what SEOPASS claims is the final chapter, I just need to detail why I think that the truck is Cheongang's fault.

It starts in chapter 202 when some guy (Yongsu Jang), who owns a transportation company, wants to get a loan from Cheongang. Changhui calls him out on the fact that he ran out of people to loan him money in Yeongdeungpo and that he (Yongsu Jang) wants to disappear to the Philippines with the money.

Changhui tell Yongsu that, if he does him a favour, he'll let it slide, let that man have a new start and everything, if Jang-Il transportation can pull off one job.

So, why show that scene to the reades? Yes, the guy is also the one owning the Arcade where Doyoon and Sieun fight, but why mention that "job" at all? What could be that important that Changhui would let this slide?

Changhui also mentioned before the fight by the Han River, that he plans to take care of the winning side, while they are weakened and if you look at the crowd assembled to fight Eunjang, you may have noticed a few faces familiar from the Cheongang arc. As in, people that are members of Cheongang on the Union side.

Why ware they there? Why would they bother to turn up? In my opnion they would have been there, to report to Changhui the end result of the fight and when it would be time to 'deal with the winner'.

But after the fight nothing happens. Eunjang gets to walk away, the Union disbands, Joo Seongjin gets his ass kicked, no sign of Cheongang turning up...

And then Baekjin gets hits by a truck.

So yes, I think that was a pre planned hit, arranged by Changhui.

The last question I am pondering now is the following:

If Park Humin or Yeon Sieun had won, would the truck have hit them?

(I am still hoping for later released post epilogue chapters/side stories/spin-offs... you can't tell me that Cheongang gets to continue as before when all other 'evil parties' got smacked down and the Union disbanded as well.)

#weak hero #thinking #theory

[na-baekjin-love]

Weak-Tober 2023: 07 Death

That woman was driving an expensive car. Baekjin had seen her arrive that day and had wondered.

These cars always looked slightly strange to him. Why do you get a sports car to drive fast, when you weren't even allowed to drive fast inside the city? Why spend so much money on something you couldn't even fully take use off?

She shouldn't have any reason to return again after that last 'talk' he had overheard of her complaining that her son wasn't first. Despite that, he saw the expensive car pulling into the parking lot and she wasn't getting out either. A few moments later heard the bell ring, announcing the end of the current class. 

Glancing outside while copying the papers in the teachers lounge, he saw Heo Seungjae walk up to the car and get in. It made sense that she was collecting her child. His own mother had never managed to do it, due to working before being admitted to the hospital, but that woman wasn't the only parent doing that.

The plan didn't take route until after his classmate had his minions beat him. It was a strange plan, a random thought taking hold and expanding itself into something more… concrete.

No on would take his side, if he fought back, he knew that. It wouldn't solve anything and so violence wasn't the answer. But what if it wasn't violence? What if it was something else and he just… didn't get caught?

It didn't even take long to prepare. There was always something breaking at the school and needing to be thrown out. The sharp edged metal pieces of some broken table were easy enough to move around slightly. They weren't big or very visible despite being kinda shiny.

And that woman was always parking badly and backing out in a way that it hit the curb of the sidewalk parting the parking lot from the school building. It was pretty easy to just put a few pieces into the area she tended to run over while pulling out of the parking lot. Especially, as he could pretty much foresee into which one she would pull, depending on which one was free.

Baekjin was going to watch it, but not from closeby. He wanted to avoid being caught after all, so he made sure to delay the daily copying of the papers for the next day to the time slot after class ended.

The car was already in the parking slot he had predicted and it was just in time to see the other boy climb in.

He couldn't have predicted it any better. The car pulled out with the familiar speed and angle-straight over the metal shards and onto the curb. The blonde couldn't hear the sound the car made, but he could see it jerk to a halt and at least the back tire he could see, was deflated.

Unable to resist his curiosity, he put his work down and stepped to the window, slightly opening it. The vehicle made a screeching sound of metal scratching over stone as the back bumper laying on the curb due to the broken tire pulled free. The car shot forward, way faster than he had ever seen a car go- he looked away before it made contact.

The screeching of the tires came in through the open window, as did the sound of breaking glass, but not much else, not even screams. 

When the blonde dared to look again, the car was… well, broken. And crunched up against one of the trees lining the parking lot. Teacher Jung, who had been most likely been walking to his own car, had been thrown aside be the impact, despite that woman having clearly tried to dodge him.

Not even a moment later people were running towards the scene.

Baekjin wasn't sure for how long he was watching the whole thing, but at some point another teacher came in, saw him and told him to go home.

When he arrived to school the next day, it was another teacher stepping into the classroom, announcing themselves as the substitute to teacher Jung and telling them that the accident yesterday had killed all the people involved.

There was guilt churning in his stomach. There was guilt for days. But there was no one approaching him about anything, no one talking to him-and no one harassing him either.

The voice of guilt was soon very quiet and when the substitute sat him down after the retest to tell him that his mother was dead as well, dead for days at this point and that there had been a note about it in teachers Jung's notes… The voice went away and didn't come back.

#weak hero #na baekjin #donald na #fanfic #weak tober 2023

[na-baekjin-love]

Weak-Tober 2023: 06 Blind

Baekjin liked his eyes as much as someone normally liked their own (working) body parts. His eyes were working, they were red like his mother's and he liked remembering her while looking into the mirror instead of seeing features of a father he didn't even know the name off.

What he didn't like was how sensitive his eyes were to light. Bright light literally blinded him, especially when he stepped out of a building into the bright sun of the noon and depending on how long the exposure was, it could take minutes for his eyes to recover. The tests for that hadn't been funny nor amusing but as they had also happened in the privacy of the hospital, it was at least one thing he didn't need to worry about.

He didn't fear going blind forever, the doctors had assured him it would take more than looking into bright light for a bit. His eyes just had issues adjusting to bright light, due to lacking the pigmentation to keep the light way from the areas relaying the information from the light to the brain.

Despite that knowledge, he sometimes found himself walking around the apartment with his eyes closed, trying to remember accurately where which piece of furniture was placed what he had put onto which surface and if he could make out the shapes and patterns stitched or printed onto his clothes with his fingertips.

Writing with his eyes closed was not something he had bothered practising yet, mostly because once he was done with paperwork of any kind, he didn't feel like writing anything further most of the time.

In a way blindness scared him and didn't scare him.

Baekjin liked seeing, watching the world from his office window and how the people below him scuttered around like ants in an ant hive. He liked knowing people would turn up before they opened the door to his office. He liked being able to read everything without needing to reach for it, to just turn his head and look at a new paper, to easily read his phone screen without having anything read out whatever he was supposed to see.

Rationally, he knew that going blind wasn't the end of the world. People adapted to blindness all the time, be it from age, a sickness or an accident of some kind. They learned to live in their homes alone, to cook, read, to write, to move around.

Blind simply wasn't convenient for him though. Much of fighting was done via the eyes, be it seeing things on the edge of his vision, focusing on someone trying to hit him or looking down at him, seeing the expression on their faces as it sunk in how weak they were compared to him.

Society tended to not respect people much that were noticeably lacking one of their senses and it could be very obvious that eyesight was missing, be it by you wearing a symbol to announce it or a cane to keep track of not walking into things by accident. But then not all legally blind people were fully blind. So some of the things mentioned may not even apply to him, if it happened. Not that he wanted to find out what being 'blind' would mean for him. He had plans and he was not willing to adjust them for a lack of sight, if he had the choice.

#weak hero #na baekjin #donald na #fanfic #weak tober 2023

[na-baekjin-love]

Seeing as Changhui demanded a favour from an owner of a transportation company to overlook that man trying to run off with money (before Sieun fough Doyoon), the people I talked to about it are all kinda assuming that Cheongang set the accident up somehow.

(There were also two Cheongang mooks at the river fight, at least two people with their design.)

So I am kinda wondering what could still happen there once the shock starts wearing off and Cheongang starts pushing.

May even help Sieun to overcome his trauma and reassure him that it was not his fault.

Weak Hero Musings (10): On the Wasted Potentials of That Death

SPOILER ALERT

(Parts 1-8 were posted on my other blog @weakherodiaries)

A part of me is still resentful that Baekjin (Donald)'s death does nothing to end the criminal enterprises of Changhui's Cheongang (Sky River) and Lee Chungil's network.

Don't get me wrong, I never wanted for Baekjin to become a murder victim. But to simply use his death to highlight the problems of child abuse, youth mental health, and loss of true friendships is such a wasted potential to me. Because Baekjin wasn't just an abused minor, he was also a juvenile criminal. The story is no longer about school violence because Baekjin's crimes were tied to those two crime syndicates.

So I used to wish that Baekjin's death was the result of criminal intent (a conspiracy to murder) by either Cheongang or Lee Chungil. The death would've served as the punchline for the story, and brought the Union and Eunjang kids together. Conspiracy to murder through traffic accidents is a classic trope in kdramas and films, so I thought that my expectation was reasonable (I know, the joke's on me. Ha. Ha. Ha). However, since Baekjin's funeral proceeded without the appearance of the law enforcement before, during, or after, I knew that I was hoping in vain.

With the Eunjang and Union kids as eyewitnesses in the syndicates' trials and/or investigations, every character would've had the chance to shine as weak heroes too. They would've pulled through, not by muscles, but by brain and bravery.

With how things are going now, I'm worried that the webtoon might just end openly with Eunjang and Union kids' brawl against Cheongang's or Lee Chungil's thugs. How regrettable would that be, since this story has never been simply about brawls.

#weak hero musings

[na-baekjin-love]

Weak-Tober 2023: 05 Lost Soul

Sometimes, when there was no problem to solve left, no issue to work on, no task around that needed to be done, Baekjin sometimes wondered, how his life would be, if he hadn't snapped, back in elementary school. If he had stayed in the him assigned lane and quietly taken everything thrown his way.

He sometimes saw people like that, people who never rose up, wandering through life without goal, without ambition, grounded down into the roles society had assigned to them, jumping from job to job to make do, if even that. The blonde hated these lost souls, how they just floated through their lives, resigned to their fates.

Sometimes he wondered, if he could have been one of them.

He hated feeling like that and the implications it left him with.

Na Baekjin wasn't one of them, one of the existences that had given up and were happy about scraps thrown their way, unable to get more out of their lives than what they could claw up from trash cans and pathetic jobs paying less in three months than what he could earn in a week.

There was more to live and he had managed to get it. There was more than just wandering the streets, no matter the weather and eating whatever was given, no matter of it was fresh or mouldy.

But the fear was there. In quiet moments it clawed at his mind, at his vision, at his dreams and his plans for the future, showing the empty room of his mother's funeral, the torn apart apartment his stepfather had left behind and the realisation that he was alone and no one that had the responsibility to care for him, cared enough to do so.

He had slipped through the cracks of the system intentionally afterward and had no wish to enter the system more than necessary.

Rejoining the official system would have people look at what he had know and he knew people and their greed, especially when they were in positions to take things away from people that they thought didn't deserve them.

Na Baekjin refused to give up what he had worked for, illegal work or not. It was his, he had worked for it and he refused to just let others take it away.

He refused to go back to the days of starving and freezing and fearing and wondering.

Pain was a constant. Pain was always there to some degree and he could deal with pain, be it taking or giving.

He may have been a lost soul as a small child, wandering the world, living by the directions others gave him, aware that pride was a luxury he couldn't afford.

But that had changed. He was different. The lost soul had found itself in rage caused by other people's greed and he was not losing himself again. He refused to.

#weak hero #na baekjin #donald na #weak tober 2023 #fanfic

[na-baekjin-love]

Weak-Tober 2023: 04 Teeth/Fangs

Humans were told to smile to seem trustworthy and friendly, but even then it was a fine line between smiling and showing teeth. And between looking friendly and looking creepy.

Baring teeth, one of the most basic weapons among the animals, was a warning. A threat. Sharp weapons set into the jaw, muscles poised to drive them deep into whatever was caught between them.

It did differ between herbivores, carnivores and omnivores, not all animals had fangs after all, but it was a rather universal sign amongst beings not human. It was a threat of biting of violence.

It left Baekjin wondering, how humans had gone from taking it as a threat to having it indicate friendliness. Babies smiled on instinct, but babies also didn't have teeth yet, a rather curious happenstance, but it didn't explain anything.

Not smiling was deemed suspicious, smiling wrong was deemed suspicious and even smiling at the wrong time could have people look at you with mistrust.

Mostly, Baekjin didn't feel like smiling. There were times, where he felt like it if only to play with whoever he was talking to. Sure, there were times when he was relaxed and in a good mood and he smiled on these occasions, but it definitely wasn't his default.

He was thankful though that taking care of his teeth was one of the few things his mother had always made sure he could and his stepfather hadn't complained or at least not cared about. It made things much easier to not need to worry about showing a gap in his teeth. Even so he took care to not smoke too much. Discoloured teeth could be just as sabotaging in a smile, as showing no teeth at all. Looking back, he was still relieved he hadn't lost any to his stepfather.

Teeth were ridiculously hard to repair properly anyway, science was still not able to properly replace damaged enamel in a way that it fully reversed damage done to teeth.

Not that his business smile involved showing teeth, but it was still one issue less, also helped by having had the luck of not needing braces at any given time. They took a long time to be effective and he was happy not needing to put something in each night while sleeping to make sure the teeth stayed as they were supposed to.

Generally, he had been lucky with his physical features, looking reasonably attractive, which always helped with business somewhat and not having any permanent damage from his childhood, as far as he knew, and having good teeth was also one of the things adding to the physical attractiveness.

As it was, as long as he took good care of them, he doubted any problems would turn up and he was quite happy with that.

#weak hero #na baekjin #donald na #fanfic #weak tober 2023

[na-baekjin-love]

Weak-Tober 2023: 03 Insane Asylum

For a long time Na Baekjin had avoided anything remotely connected to what was in the past called an 'insane asylum'. It was a mixture of prejudgement, media stereotypes that had him dislike what should be properly called a psychiatric hospital.

Being put into one was always a fear, as illogical as it was. As long as you functioned in society, weren't pulling attention that made you seem 'insane' and weren't a risk to yourself, the system wasn't eager to have you waste money staying on one. Getting better and getting back out also was something that happened. You needed a rather severe condition to be stuck in one for life.

Despite all that, it had taken him a long time to talk to do more than just take medication for his issues and get himself to talk to a therapist.

Almost dying did that to you.

And not being able to take the medication, due to it interfering with the stuff the hospital gave you for all the wounds inflicted by a truck also hadn't helped matters.

Mental health was not something openly talked about in society though. It had taken a long time and admitting to himself that he feared being legally locked up somewhere for something that was just inside his head.

But the inside of the head was powerful, especially when it was about how you saw yourself and how it made you perceive your own actions and the world's reaction to them.

It was still rather surreal to walk into a psychiatric hospital, even if it was only for a visit. As normal as a visit to such a place was. It had still taken some self-convincing to go, though. For one, he hadn't even known the other teen had been moved into one, hadn't cared to look, too busy getting his own body back up to task after the accident.

Yeon Sieun had a whole gaggle of friends always surrounding him, more than enough people offering support in a tight spot, no matter of what kind. It had felt like a pretty bad joke to get a call from Park Humin of all people, making this kind of request.

But here he was, walking into the bright entrance area, full with beige and pastel colours and some nurses in uniform walking around from one place to another, some glancing his way, some not.

It didn't even take long to talk to the receptionist, being forwarded to a doctor and then being led around the facility to a visitation room.

The only person, who had almost made him lose a fight, was looking rather pathetic. Even thinner than back then and paler. It was a matter of morbid amusement that Baekjin was still paler than the other teen, whose head snapped up in surprise at seeing him enter the room and sitting down opposite of him.

"Yeon Sieun," he greeted the Eunjang student. "I heard you blame yourself for my accident."

#donald na #na baekjin #weak hero #weak tober 2023 #fanfic

[na-baekjin-love]

Weak Hero Musings (9): On Jihoon's and Pilyoung's Human Decency

SPOILER ALERT

During Baekjin (Donald)'s funeral service episodes, several characters surprised me with their human decency. I already posted about Dongha, so now I'll talk about Jihoon and Pilyoung (Phillip).

Jihoon stayed with Seokhyeon (Kingsley) and Hakho (Jake). To wear that one-striped yellow armband means that he shared Seokhyeon and Hakho's physical and mental burden, as the deceased Baekjin's brother. Which was why he was seen exhausted outside of that charnel house. It wasn't just the gloomy atmosphere, he must've lived very roughly in preparing the funeral for days. But he didn't complain of it, and he stayed.

To be fair to Jihoon, I knew that there's something good in him because he genuinely cared about Jeongyeon (Jack) and sincerely trusted Goseon. Contrary to what strangers might think about him, he didn't care that much about money. But I thought that his own strength was the only thing that really mattered to him.

Or was it because of this mindset that he was willing to lend his strength to Hakho and Seokhyeon? "I'm strong enough to help you both a little bit?" Was that it? Isn't that still decent and kind, anyway?

***

Then there was Pilyoung (Phillip), the guy who started out as a showy opportunist. He'd come a long way, spending more and more time alone even though outside of the school he was still wearing that façade of the popular scary thug who had eased his way into building networks. Probably because, unbeknownst to himself, Pilyoung no longer cared for the privilege of things, just for things that mattered.

This gradual growth was what led him to coming alone to Baekjin's funeral. Pilyoung couldn't make it because of his emotional turmoil, but the fact that he was willing to go there in spite of past events, and without any rewards, is a testament that all that Pilyoung was missing about the Union was the feeling of camaraderie with Baekjin (and the others).

The fact that Pilyoung spent time personally grieving for Baekjin while also wondering about Sieun's absence is an indication of tremendous emotional growth to me. It's so satisfying to see that in a character and a human being.

#weak hero musings

[na-baekjin-love]

Weak-Tober 2023: 02 Graveyard

Sometimes Beakjin wondered about death and how people dealt with dead bodies. In Seoul bodies got cremated because space was precious and graveyards needed space, with way less slots for bodies to be put in, which would also increase the price for a slot.

On the internet were many pictures of different graveyards, orderly lines of crosses or small tombstones, terraces on hillsides or the big western ones next to churches with big trees reaching into the skies, branches shadowing the graves and the decorations put on them, be it plants or statues or anything the people caring for the person buried had thought off.

His mother was in an urn on a shelf among rows of other urns, all in similar shapes and only differentiated by the images and letters on them.

When memories came back to haunt him during quiet hours, the teen wondered if there were any places she would have preferred to be.

Somewhere outside, somewhere high, somewhere sunny…

But graves needed people to care for them and the charnel house was better at keeping records.

Some people pictured the dead as chained to their remains. If the urn was in a graveyard, buried in a grave, would she be stuck underground? Not seeing anything other than darkness? Or would she sleep as seasons passed and the body decayed in a coffin.

What would even be more bearable? Seeing the urn and knowing it contained all that was left of her or standing in front of a tombstone, the remains buried underground, a fancy sentence carved into the stone?

It was definitely easier to visit the urn than driving to some graveyard though. Also safer for the urn as the building could be locked and easier patrolled by the security. For some reason people sometimes did things to graves.

And there wasn't a nice one nearby anyway. It was all just tight rows of the same tombstone, just differing in the words carved in.

It was very different from what he could imagine from the pictures of the old, western ones, where wind rustled through leaves and branches, and flowers were blooming on other graves and maybe his mom's. With birds flickering around and there being generally a more… peaceful atmosphere.

Baekjin knew it was an illusion, a wishful dream, a place that didn't exist in real life and that no real place could surpass.

When he opened his eyes, he was back in the spot where his thoughts had started to wander.

In the end it didn't really matter anymore if his mother would have preferred a graveyard or the charnel house. It was all already done and over after all.

And he was left behind with these thoughts.

#weak hero #weak tober 2023 #na baekjin #donald na #fanfic