mychaoticbalance
My life as it is!
Just my every day life!
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When you think you hit rockbottom and find out it wasn't rockbottom yet.... #anxiety
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Today was hard...😔 my head was chaos, dark thoughts and tears were flowing like a river...I even had to take my anxiety meds and that feels like bigtime failure....
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I soooo don't have time to be burnt out 🤦🏼♀️
This all started at the end of december 2020...well that is...the crying, the short fuse, the anxiety, the neurotic thoughts, the irritation social media triggers... 😭🤬🥺🤯😤
The cause of this all may be the result of almost 1 year of dealing with Covid. Than add your oldest kid starting highschool to that and a nervous breakdown was about to happen.
Anyhow, at the beginning of 2021 I took myself to my GP. Bawling my eyes out at his desk I got a reference for mental health care. Got some anxiety pills for....just in case! And went to the PT to get rid of my headaches and iron shoulders 😉
My first visit to the mental health care was somewhat confronting....I told her my story...my signs...and than she said it: "all these signs tell me you are heading towards being burnt out" A big slap in the face....and a relief at the same time.
It was a lot to take in and hard to tell my friends, family and colleagues. This meant I had to take a step back, to say 'NO' more often, to admit to myself, I can't do this on my own. Maybe that was the hardest....feeling like a big time failure. 😔
BUT....
As the days go by, my path gets more clear every day. I want to give myself the gift of healing from this shit. My road to recovery starts here...and right now!
Will you accompany me on my journey? Please.....
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Figuring out Tumblr...see if I get it or if I am too old for this.... lets see if Tumblr fits me...
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