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It makes sense why I had a nightmare tonight. I’ve actually been doing pretty ok with the nightmares. The dreams haven’t stopped, just been super super weird.
Tonight however, I dreamt I was at some sort of gathering. A few of my coworkers were there. One for some reason kissed me and laughed at me when I got upset. My fiance was in the dream and refused to believe it wasn’t my fault. He was angry and standoffish and refused to talk to me.
Didn’t wake up well. I’m not looking forward to this weekend. My ex will be in town to pick up my daughter (custody bs, having no job when you escape means no money to fight anything in court.) and he was like my fiance in the dream, and like my coworker in the dream.
In real life, neither my fiance or my coworker are like that. Some of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.
My brain is clearly trying to process what’s happening this weekend. Latching onto familiar faces, faces I trust, when I trusted my ex for years. It makes sense.
But I hate it. My head is killing me, sense mid afternoon yesterday I’ve had horrible stomach aches and cramping.
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mushroomsnightmares · 13 days
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Weird mix. Going back to a store to find a vest that was on sale for ridiculously cheap. Gave it to someone else who wanted it. Was looking at jewelry. Crosses for some reason. Lady at the desk said my hair was nice. I told her it was a mess. Kept looking and the shops alarm went off. Whole mall got closed down. Wandering the place, I didn’t have enough money for anything. For some reason my fiance and I had found an apartment with one of my coworkers, but it was a mess.
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mushroomsnightmares · 19 days
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I swear there was a loud boom when I woke up. My eyes feel stuck and raw like there’s sandpaper in them. My left shoulder hurts and my back is stiff. My hands feel dry. My ears feel full and painful.
I dreamt that I was somehow trying to get my daughter away from her dad, but also help him while his dad was dying. My coworker was there installing lights in the floor. I had to keep something in my locker at work but I don’t know what it was, I was terrified of my ex’s dad dying. Not him dying just having to breathe for him. I couldn’t understand why it was me that had to do it. Still don’t understand. My brain keeps insisting we were on a boat. I had to hide from these weird robots. If they saw me I think they were going to kill me.
As I’m writing this there’s people outside being loud. I think I know what the sound was. It’s 1:44am and they’re walking back and forth talking and I keep hearing an engine that is way too loud. It was probably one of them slamming the door. Their door is painfully loud when it opens and closed.
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mushroomsnightmares · 21 days
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My head hurts and I’m dizzy. Idk what exactly I dreamt but something about a kid I work with, but also my daughter. Someone was in danger but I can’t remember why. It’s all a blur of colors and it felt real. Once again I’m up in the middle of the night and had to leave my room for a reason I don’t understand
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mushroomsnightmares · 28 days
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Was in a storm at work. Found out a couple of my kids were way older than I thought they were. It was stressing me out. I think I was being asked to do something but I can’t remember. I know I was driving a motorcycle at one point and trying to get to a place I haven’t been before. Turned into another dream about being able to see Ireland from America, seriously don’t know where tf that reoccurring dream comes from.
I haven’t had a work night where I haven’t been able to stay in bed in a while. I was shaking and the room seemed to be different from what I know it is. It’s like waking up in a hallucination. I don’t know how else too describe it.
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mushroomsnightmares · 1 month
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Idk I woke up with the thought in my head “I don’t have time” the dream I was trying to pack essentials for people out of a bus. There was some sort of explosion happening but it was in slow motion. I had to do it all before time sped up again.
When my alarm went off I panicked still thinking I don’t have time. Slowly waking up enough to realize this is my normal time I wake up. I do have time. There’s nothing going on. Everything is ok.
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mushroomsnightmares · 1 month
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I used to smoke weed with Bible pages as my rolling papers
glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
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mushroomsnightmares · 1 month
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1st dream, upset that the kid at work that was taken out of the clinic last min was put with my ex on his last day.
2nd dream, I was in this weird bargain place. Everything was insanely cheap. I found tons of wedding dresses but none of them fit or they looked strange on me. The people I was with were getting frustrated because I was taking so long to try them all on
Clearly I know what’s been bothering me the last few weeks
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mushroomsnightmares · 1 month
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There were zombies and spoiled milk. Trying to find a place to stay but the zombies kept getting in. No matter what we did they kept getting in.
I hate dreams about zombies. They’re my worst fear. I don’t really remember much of the dream, just weird clips.
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mushroomsnightmares · 1 month
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I’m panicking. I dreamt a strange mix of different stressful scenarios. People I worked with were there. For some reason tickets for a band I didn’t want to see came out of my account. I had to play a game to get my money back and kept messing up typing. The letters were jumbled. I couldn’t keel track of my coworkers. Someone was texting me and I couldn’t figure out how to text back. My suitcase wouldn’t close because I had too much to pack. There was so much trash in my clothes and idk why. I tried to defend not calling the kids I work with boys or girls. Using neutral terms instead. My coworkers were angry with me because of it.
Idk why I’m panicking. Sure stressful I guess. But my heart is racing and my head can’t make sense of it not being real. I’m sweating but freezing.
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mushroomsnightmares · 1 month
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Not a bad dream
Just why tf did I have that many water bottles? And why was I also visiting a YouTubers house? Weird
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mushroomsnightmares · 2 months
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Woke up. Head feels way too foggy. Hard to keep my eyes open. And I feel almost drunk. I know I’m not I don’t drink but I stumbled down the stairs and thinking is so hard rn. dk if any of this will make sense in the morning.
Dream
Trying to make lanyards but the machine won’t work right and print the right colors. I got it because one of the kids at work needed something to do. I can’t remember why he was there but I know I wasn’t happy because they, idk who they were, but they were keeping him in this tiny house. One of the other kids from work showed up. I don’t remember what she was doing. I was driving and got pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt and driving on the passenger side of the car.
I think when I woke up I heard sirens. I know I woke up on my side which never happens. My shoulder and neck hurt. My hands are kind of numb idk why
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mushroomsnightmares · 2 months
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Dreamt I met the parents of a kid I work with. They were very upset I didn’t have a good answer on who was going to take care of her. They didn’t want to take care of her anymore, because she was too much for them. It was also raining heavily to the point of flooding and the car I was in wouldn’t make it through all the mud. I was using the example of another high support needs person from my past as an example of people that would need help all their life. They didn’t want to hear it.
The kid I work with irl is very high support needs. She’ll need help all her life for everything from eating to bathroom help.
The person from my past irl is the same. And ngl I woke up immediately angry at the family he’s from. That family was of my two bffs from childhood and only as an adult do I now know how ableist they really are.
It wasn’t a nightmare per say. But it was upsetting.
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mushroomsnightmares · 2 months
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things people have done to help me during a psychoses episode
i was on the buss and i hallucinated bugs crawling all over my hands, so my friend pulled my hoodie sleeves over them with permission and held my hands through the sleeves to "keep them off". they used the logic you would in a real bug situation.
i went nonverbal in a bad one in class, so my friend wrote me a note to give to the nurse since the teacher wouldn't let her go with me.
i often am very paranoid about the delusion that meat is actually rotten, so my dad will sometimes eat a bit of it before me
instead of telling me my delusions arent real, they help me through it using logic like it was real. they dont tell me that nothings going to hurt me in my sleep, they stay with me to keep me safe. then when it passes i can realize its not real
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mushroomsnightmares · 2 months
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Tonight I dreamt I was in a theater. But also trying to leave my mom’s house. Idk why they intertwined like that. My mom was accusing me of not having enough money to take care of my daughter. For some reason someone I work with told me that by not working more than one job I was abusing her. She attacked me. For some reason I was looking for an apartment while this was happening.
Yet another stress dream. Always freaked out I won’t have enough money. Cant work a second job because I’d never get time with my kid and I’d be too exhausted to function . Even in the dream I remember saying that my daughter is more important to me than a paycheck. And that’s true.
I always seem to dream of my mom when I have stress dreams. I’m always trying to leave her house, trying to pack but I keep finding more and more things I lost years ago when I left irl. She’s always in the way, trying to stop me and tell me I won’t make it on my own. Usually I’m trying to look for apartments.
I get it. I have a lot of trauma surrounding my mom. So many things I wish I had found a way to keep from my childhood. Things I cannot replace. I’m terrified of not having enough money to live. And I’m especially terrified of losing my daughter. Work popping up in dreams makes sense.
I just hate that it happens over and over. I’m up at 2am and I have to be up for work at 6am. It’s going to be a long day, like all the rest because of the nature of my job. I don’t ever feel rested when I sleep. Tbh idk if I ever will at this point.
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mushroomsnightmares · 2 months
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Another zombie dream. Idk why I have them. Theyre possibly my worst fear.
In a group of people trying to navigate some weird magic. Then all of a sudden in a house that just isn’t built to be fortified. The walls are made of sticks basically, can’t nail them together it keeps drawing zombies to us, nothing seems to kill them and they can sometimes talk. My grandpas gun is too hard to shoot. My fiance is driving drunk (he’d never do this irl) we’re flashing the lights trying to get a cop to dave us as the car drifts off uncomfortably and the only thing that stops us is a tree before we drive into a river.
Woke up afraid, the world wouldn’t clear up. My fiance didn’t look real. All the proportions in the room were off and moving as I tried to get focus back.
I’m in so much pain and idk why. My shoulders, legs, stomach, neck. I woke up feeling like my body had been shaking trying to get me to wake up. My eyes feel dry and like the eyelids are sticking together.
I’m freezing but I can’t stop sweating. My heart rate spiked, I was still asleep when it spiked. This isn’t the worst it’s been. I’m still shanking.
Idk how to explain that the dream was nonsense, but I’m still scared of every little noise and things still don’t feel real
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mushroomsnightmares · 2 months
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I think it’s a sign that I dreamt that something got messed up in the papers to get my last name changed and I wasn’t able to take much fiancés name. I’ve been trying to decide if I should just make a whole new last name for a while now and just haven’t been able to chose one
But once again I woke up feeling like I was in this weird haze that I couldn’t get out of. I don’t like that feeling, it freaks me tf out
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