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it's dangerous to go alone

two years after shadow and vio's evil takeover, the gang reunites for dinner. this is a multi-chapter continuation of the oneshot "thank darkness for that," which introduces a corruption-type au that's actually super chill. definitely read the one-shot before following this one!

chapter 7 of 7: the final boss (4441 words)

Red takes Blue by the hand, leading them both to a large painting on the wall opposite from where they entered. It looks out-of-place with its ornate frame, and a small golden plaque that Red currently obscures.

“All art is good art,” Red remarks, “but this composition still feels wrong.”

Blue cocks his head, sizing up the piece. It’s a nighttime scene in dark blues and greys, depicting a tree-lined path leading towards a dark mountain.

“There should be something in the foreground,” Red continues. “It’s weird, but I feel like I’ve seen this somewhere before…”

“Guys!” shouts Shadow across the room, although Blue can’t quite bring himself to look away from the painting. “I think I know who’s been living down here!”

“Oh,” Red says quietly, something in his voice breaking Blue out of his trance. “There’s a plaque.”

Red steps backwards, finally allowing Blue to read the name of the strange painting:

Evil Spirit from Beyond

PHANTOM TINGLE.

read the rest on ao3 or under the cut:

“So we just have to insert the swords, right?” Blue asks, sizing up the puzzle-lock on the dungeon’s (hopefully) final door.

“Only one way to find out,” Green says, sliding his sword into one of the four slots. They hear a loud click and Red follows suit.

Green cups his hand around his mouth and turns his head. “Hey, Vio! We need your sword!”

The Kings of Hyrule rejoin the group hand in hand. Seeing Vio, Red beams.

“Finally, you’re wearing it!”

Vio sheepishly rubs the back of his now-exposed neck. “The scrunchie is really nice, Red. Thank you again.”

“I can make more, as long as we survive!”

With that somber reminder, Blue takes a deep breath and relinquishes his sword. Vio does the same.

The Links are no longer surprised by the puzzle-solve jingle, but they certainly aren’t expecting the sudden appearance of a whole other door. But there it is, right beside the large now-unlocked door, as if there’s always been an easy way out.

“That’s weird,” Zelda says, cracking it open. Daylight pours into the dark hallway, and Blue has so many questions about the teleportation magic holding this entire dungeon together. How is Tingle capable of this? And why is he only doing it now?

Zelda cranes her head. “It leads to the woods outside Castle Town.”

“No shit?” Shadow asks, joining her. “Well, no shit.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Vio says, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m not letting Tingle take the throne. He wants me to play his game—so I’ll play, and I’ll win.”

Blue watches Shadow take his husband’s side. “Right there with you. Who knows if we’d be able to get into Castle Town, anyway? Tingle could have turned the entire Royal Guard against us already.”

Vio nods. “That’s what I would do in his place. I’d then put out a cash reward for us, dead or alive, and make sure everyone in Castle Town knows it.”

Red turns to him with deep concern. “You’re kinda evil, Vio.”

“Yeah, Red, I know.”

“But why would Tingle even include this door in the first place?” Green asks no one in particular. “Seems counter-intuitive to the whole ‘making us betray each other’ theme we’ve seen so far.”

Blue crosses his arms over his chest. “I think it makes perfect sense—kind of a final ‘screw-you’ to Vio and Shadow, giving us the chance to abandon them while they have no choice but to clean up their mess.”

Vio’s gaze is razor-sharp. “So, will you?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Aw, Blue,” Red coos, taking his hand. ��I’m so proud of you!”

Blue, ironically, can feel himself turn red. “I… shut up.”

Zelda locks eyes with Shadow. “You already know I’m staying. Green, you too, I assume?”

“Yep,” he answers, not even skipping a beat.

Shadow looks from Zelda to the room’s only other occupants. “We should tell our new friends what’s going on, don’t you think?”

She gives him a thumbs-up, addressing the four hinoxes who appear to have started a game of cards during Vio’s emotional outburst-monologue-apology. “We think the next room is the last,” Zelda informs the group. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. There’s a door out of here and you’re welcome to use it.”

The largest of the four crosses his arms over his chest and gives the hinox closest to him a look. She only shrugs, while the smallest of the group seems to struggle with her words.

“I think it’s just… I’m not really a fighter,” she eventually says, and the hinox beside her nods in agreement. “I want to help you all, and I’m not very happy I was used in this weird dungeon thing, but…”

“It’s okay,” Shadow tells the group. “You’ve already been put in enough danger on our behalf.”

“Good luck out there,” Shadow tells the hinoxes as they head for the door. “Hopefully we’ll see you soon.”

“Hopefully not,” the largest says kindly, “but we still appreciate your help. Good luck to you all… even the nepotism hire.”

The hinoxes depart without further discussion, and in their absence Green cracks a smile. “So Vio’s the nepotism hire, right?”

The nepotism hire scowls. “I—I’m not! I… well… if you define it in a certain way… never mind. Let’s just figure out a plan before we rush into anything.”

“My plan is to stab whatever’s in there until it dies,” Blue says, already reaching for his sword.

It doesn’t budge.

“Never mind.”

Green reaches for his own weapon with equally discouraging results. “Tingle must want us unarmed.”

“Wish I had my powers,” Shadow mutters, and then pauses. “Wait. Are my powers, like, permanently gone now?”

Blue and Red wince. “Sorry,” they say in unison.

Shadow takes a deep breath. “It’s only fair, I guess—I relieved you of your burdensome Triforce powers, and you took my super fun and cool Dark World magic. Not like you had a choice, anyway.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Red says, “I can get you in touch with an amateur magician I know from the craft store.”

Vio makes a stink face. “Pull a rabbit out of your hat and we’re getting a divorce.”

“A-ha, but the real trick is that I get to marry you again!”

Green claps his hands together. “Guys, focus. Weapons—what do we have?”

“Red’s got his fireplace poker,” Blue says, and Red raises it enthusiastically. “Put that down, you maniac, you’re going to take someone’s eye out.”

“That’s the plan!”

“Do you still have your stake?” Vio asks Shadow, who shakes his head.

“Nah. Burned up. You?”

“Same, actually.”

Green turns to Zelda. “You still have something, right? From the stolen furniture room?”

She sighs. “Just a fountain pen. Not sure what I was thinking, really.”

Green tries and fails to smile reassuringly. “You never know.”

“I think I should lead,” Red tells Blue, tugging at his sleeve.

Blue frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I know you guys have my back.”

Blue’s heart skips a beat as Red approaches the large door. It opens with a loud creak, revealing a large circular room. The six file inside and allow the door to slam shut behind them.

“It looks empty,” Blue observes, scanning over the space. They appear to be in some kind of servants’ quarters, long abandoned by Hyrule’s current leadership. A few wooden tables litter the center of the room and bunk beds line the walls. The only other doorway is open, seemingly leading to a small kitchen.

“No exits,” Vio says. “What… what is this place?”

“It’s your castle,” Green retorts, not unkindly. “Zelda, any ideas?”

“I don’t think servants have actually lived inside the castle since my grandparents assumed the throne. Everyone has housing in Castle Town.”

Shadow is the first to separate from the group, walking over to the bunk beds. “Looks like one’s unmade.”

Blue watches Vio quickly join his husband’s side, while Green and Zelda search the tables for useful items.

“I think someone’s been living here,” Green says, holding up a glass bottle full of milk. “Smells fresh.”

“All art is good art,” Red remarks, “but this composition still feels wrong.”

Blue cocks his head, sizing up the piece. It’s a nighttime scene in dark blues and greys, depicting a tree-lined path leading towards a dark mountain.

“There should be something in the foreground,” Red continues. “It’s weird, but I feel like I’ve seen this somewhere before…”

“Guys!” shouts Shadow across the room, although Blue can’t quite bring himself to look away from the painting. “I think I know who’s been living down here!”

“Oh,” Red says quietly, something in his voice breaking Blue out of his trance. “There’s a plaque.”

Red steps backwards, finally allowing Blue to read the name of the strange painting:

Evil Spirit from Beyond

PHANTOM TINGLE.

Thrown back by a sudden flash of light, Blue and Red scramble towards the center of the room. Green and Zelda help them to their feet, while Vio and Shadow vault over tables to join their friends. The six watch in horror as a spectral form begins to emerge from within the painting.

Hovering a few feet above the ground, a ghostly version of Tingle flashes them a menacing grin. It holds up what Blue first thinks is a sword, but quickly recognizes as a wooden spoon. Phantom Tingle swings the spoon with a grunt, sending a dangerous ball of light in Blue’s direction.

“Guys, scatter!”

As if in slow motion, Red throws himself between Blue and the projectile. He whacks it back with his fireplace poker, temporarily stunning Phantom Tingle with his own attack.

The other four do as they’re told, running to opposites of the large room, but Blue stays at Red’s side. “I’m not leaving you,” he huffs, and scans the surrounding tables for anything he can use to help.

Phantom Tingle sends another attack towards Red, who deflects it flawlessly yet again. Unfortunately this time the boss is prepared, and parries the energy ball for a sequence of nail-biting back-and-forth volleys. It takes a few passes, but Red finally manages to land a hit again.

This time Blue acts, running over to the stunned enemy and throwing a punch as a last resort. He misses the ghost entirely, and to add insult to injury, gets whacked on the head by the wooden spoon.

“Ow!” Blue rubs the point of impact and rolls out of the way as Tingle prepares another energy attack. He watches Red brace himself and then glances back at their enemy, who seems to be taking just a little more time than expected to send out a projectile.

It’s changing the timing, Blue realizes, and knows Red isn’t prepared to respond. A strange instinct causes Blue to snatch up an empty glass bottle and use it to deflect the attack—and despite this being a terrible idea, it somehow fucking works.

Phantom Tingle takes the hit, and this time it’s more than stunned. Red grabs Blue by the arm as the single boss splits into four. The Phantom Tingles, plural, are only distinguishable by the colors of their spectral forms: green, purple, red, and—of course—blue.

It appears they’ve entered the second phase.

─────────────────

“Look out!”

Green dodges at Zelda’s warning, just in time to avoid the green(er than usual) Phantom Tingle’s attack. The enemy taunts him as it zooms around, phasing in and out of thin air. It seems able to turn invisible at will, making it impossible to even tackle.

Beside Green, Zelda narrows her eyes. “Really wish you had your sword right now.”

“Yeah, join the club. And hey, Zel?”

“Yes, Green?”

“Sorry for being a jerk about your dinner party plan. You were right the whole time.”

Zelda turns to face him, her expression soft. “Aw, it’s—OW!”

Out of nowhere, Tingle manages to land a hit—nothing too serious, but enough to tear the fabric of Zelda’s business-casual attire.

“Get behind me,” Green says without hesitation, but Zelda shakes her head. She runs a hand along the now-torn neckline of her dress, scowling… but then her expression shifts.

“Actually,” she tells Green, “you get behind me.”

She withdraws the stolen fountain pen from within her bra and twists it in half, revealing the cartridge inside. Zelda swings half of the pen in an arc, coating their invisible enemy in black ink.

With the other half of the pen—the sharp top half—she brutally stabs Phantom Tingle until it disappears.

Green’s jaw drops as Zelda turns to face him. She tosses the pen pieces over her shoulder with an easy smile.

“Not sure why I ever doubted myself,” she says, and Green thinks she’s the coolest person in the world.

─────────────────

Vio and Shadow take Blue’s command to scatter seriously, ducking inside the small kitchen Tingle has been apparently using on a daily basis. A large pot of pumpkin soup remains on the stove, with an empty potion bottle beside it.

“We should have been paying more attention,” Vio mutters as he crosses over to the oven. He makes sure it’s off, because Hylia forbid Tingle try to murder them and leave the burner on, and then turns back to Shadow across the counter island.

Well, back to Shadow and… Shadow.

“Wait,” Vio says slowly, “I thought you couldn’t shapeshift anymore… which… well, you wouldn’t shapeshift into yourself, even if you could… and there are two of you… I am very confused.”

Both Shadows roll their eyes.

“Purple Tingle flew in here and shapeshifted into me,” explains one of them, while the other crosses his arms.

“No, that’s Purple Tingle, he’s describing what he did.”

Vio looks from one Shadow to the other, already hating where this going.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Kill the imposter!”

“I’m obviously me, Vio, kill him—”

“Both of you, shut up,” Vio says tiredly, picking up a kitchen knife still covered in pumpkin guts. This feels like the third time he’s felt directly responsible for his husband’s potential death tonight—how many times will he have to prove his devotion?

Vio thinks back to earlier, in the throne room, when he’d been so stressed out about the sunlight hitting Shadow at the wrong angle. Then in the chamber of stolen furniture, where they’d both been immobilized, and in the dark hallway, where they’d been forced to separate. He thinks about Zelda, fiercely protective of Shadow, and Red, being kind enough to make him a gift by hand. Vio remembers his own conflicting emotions when Blue had described his time in the Dark World—the revelation that Shadow hadn’t been dying at all, but simply letting go of the darkness that had once defined him.

Vio remembers standing in front of the Dark Mirror, so many years ago, struggling with the mallet’s heavy weight and Shadow’s precious life in his hands.

His grip tightens around the knife.

“I could tell you something only your real husband would know,” one of the Shadows offers, and it could be his Shadow, but there is no guarantee. Vio doubts any single piece of evidence could be reassuring enough for him to hurt either of these creatures.

But if he doesn’t act in his husband’s defense… who will?

“Okay, fuck this.”

Shadow—the real Shadow—rips a frying pan off the kitchen wall and smashes it against the imposter’s skull. Not-Shadow transforms at once, first into a purple ghostly Tingle, and then into nothing at all.

Vio looks at Shadow, dumbfounded. “You… you just…”

Shadow just shrugs, that infallibly irreverent grin on his face. “I know you’d do anything for me, Vio. But I can do things for me too.”

Vio drops the knife, takes a deep breath, and allows himself to be held.

─────────────────

The red Phantom Tingle is basically made of fire, and it’s ironically the one thing Red’s fireplace poker can’t defeat.

He shakes out his hand as the weapon clatters to the ground, its metal far too hot for Red to grip, even by the handle. Whatever makes up this thing, it burns much more intensely than any natural fire. Not even the fire rod could omit this level of heat, and forget destroying the monster—Red has absolutely no idea how he’s even supposed to touch it.

Red steps backwards and catches Blue out of the corner of his eye, struggling with his own color-coded enemy. His Phantom Tingle appears to be made of ice, and he’s having similar trouble figuring out how to approach it.

Until he throws a punch, that is, and is frozen in place.

“Again?” Red exclaims, rushing to his friend/employee/roommate’s aid. As expected, the fiery Tingle follows him right over to Blue, melting him free just by proximity.

“Holy shit,” Blue says and Red envelopes him in a hug.

“Glad you’re okay! But we still have to fight these—”

The red and blue Phantom Tingles collide, instantly defeating each other with opposite elemental energies.

“Oh,” Red remarks. “That makes sense.”

“Really hoping that’s the last phase,” Blue groans as Vio and Shadow exit the kitchen. They look fine, if a little shaken, and Green and Zelda…

“Why are you covered in ink?” Blue asks them. Zelda just grins.

“Fountain pen?” Shadow asks her with a similar expression.

She nods. “Fountain pen.”

“Are we done?” Vio asks the group, and also maybe Hylia herself. “Can we be done now?”

Green shakes his head. “I haven’t heard that noise yet…”

The six stand in a circle at the center of the room, back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back, scanning their surroundings for any sign of Phantom Tingle’s final form.

“Oof.”

Six heads swivel to find a final, life-size Phantom Tingle standing in the center of their circle. He looks up at them all, sheepish, and raises both hands in surrender.

Blue looks to red, already rolling up his sleeves. “I don’t think we need weapons for this, do you?”

Red considers what he had almost lost today—his friends, his life, Blue—and shakes his head. “Nope! But can I say something first?”

“Make it quick,” says Vio, who looks extremely eager to start kicking the shit out of Tingle-once-removed.

Cracking his knuckles, Red smiles. “I just think it’s just really nice we can all work together again.”

─────────────────

One relentless beating later, a new door appears below the Phantom Tingle painting.

“There it is,” Shadow mutters, watching the other Links react to the tune in their heads. Zelda, bless her heart, is still visibly confused by the whole thing.

“Swords,” Blue reminds the group before they can head for the exit. Turning his head, Shadow sees that the lock puzzle seems to have disappeared. The four swords lay unceremoniously on the ground beneath the heavy door.

Shadow follows Vio as he retrieves his weapon. “Glad to have it back?” he asks as the six return to the exit door.

Vio nods. “Yes. I don’t think we’re quite done here, Shadow. There’s still Real Tingle to worry about.”

“We’ve got your back,” Green tells them both. Blue, Red, and Zelda nod in agreement.

Shadow takes a deep breath and reaches for the doorknob. And then—because there’s no use in delaying the inevitable—he opens the door.

“CONGRATULATIONS!”

Shadow is blinded by artificial light, bright colors, and flashes from party decorations. Ironically, when he does manage to see, things makes even less sense—Tingle floats from a balloon before them, flanked by the instantly recognizable faces of castle staff and acquaintances, with a decidedly un-sinister smile on his face.

This can’t seriously be happening, Shadow thinks to himself.

Tingle throws confetti at the stunned six heroes, and by Hylia, this is seriously happening.

“You’re all friends again!” Tingle enthuses, so incredibly earnest that Shadow worries for his immediate safety.

Speaking of which…

“No, Vio, no!” Shadow scolds, already reaching for his husband. It takes the combined might of Shadow, Blue, and Green, but they manage to hold him back.

“I am going to tear you limb from fucking limb, you deranged son of a—“

“Vio!” Shadow repeats, squeezing his arm. “Stop it.”

Vio turns to him, incredulous. “Shadow, he almost killed us all! Multiple times! He basically tortured you, and he took your powers—”

Shadow shakes his head. “I appreciate your passion, beloved, but I can fend for myself. And I gave those up willingly, remember? I told Blue to shatter the mirror.”

“Deep breaths, buddy,” Red tells Vio, who now looks more embarrassed than pissed off.

Shadow watches Zelda pinch the bridge of her nose. “So, Tingle, let me get this straight—you created this entire dungeon, put something in our soup and forced us through an elaborate series of dangerous trials… as a teambuilding exercise?”

Tingle nods, as if that’s the most normal thing a person could possibly do.

Zelda turns to Shadow. “Do you believe him? He’s your employee.”

Shadow thinks back to the time he’s known Tingle, the genuine moments of trust and familiarity he’s felt in the strange little freak’s presence, and...

“Honestly, yeah, I do,” Shadow says, surprising even himself. “We’ve talked a lot about wanting to make things right with you guys—I mean, that was the point of the dinner in the first place.”

“The Kings did say it wouldn’t be an easy task,” Tingle explains. “I went along with the dinner party idea, but really… what else could have brought you all back together?”

“I don’t know,” Vio seethes, “something other than near-death? Something proportionate to the circumstances at hand?”

“My plan was completely proportionate to the circumstances at hand.”

“We did corrupt the world,” Shadow tells Vio, resisting the urge to fix his tousled hair. “Even if it was, like, chill.”

“Hylia, whatever,” Vio groans, shoving off Blue and Green. “I need a drink.”

“What you really need,” Green says, “is a better hiring manager.” He grabs a glass of evil root beer from a passing castle employee and downs the entire thing in one go.

Shadow acquires drinks for Vio and himself. “Last time I checked, we’re the hiring managers.”

“Well, you’re both atrocious at it. I’m finding a seat.”

“Of course!” Tingle says, ushering the six towards a nicely-decorated table in the center of the room. “I invited everyone you know to celebrate, arranged the catering and everything!”

“Did you also arrange the murder dungeon?” Blue asks dryly, grabbing a mozzarella stick off a banquet table as they pass.

“Because if so, you did a great job!” Red adds, because of course he does.

The six settle at the table, each in a different stage of shock, as Tingle continues to explain his involvement in the evening’s events. “I won’t bore you with the details—”

Vio scoffs. “I sincerely believe there is not a single detail about this night that could be boring.”

“—but I assure you, everything was planned. The hazards, the puzzles, the magic pulling it all together, were all completely controlled circumstances.”

“Uh,” Zelda says, “the hinoxes? Were they in on it?”

Tingle frowns. “Well, hm. No. I kinda left that room until the last minute, so I ended up using extra potion to knock out some landscaping specialists. It wasn’t too hard to do a temporary charm convincing them they were Vaati’s henchpeople.”

“I didn’t even know you could do magic,” Shadow tells Tingle, almost impressed.

“Oh, but I can, with the help of Force Gems and the royal library!”

“I don’t know enough about Force Gems and the royal library to dispute that.”

“It tracks,” Vio admits, clearly hating the words as they leave his mouth.

“But back to the hinoxes,” Zelda says, taking a sip of her drink. “That doesn’t sound very controlled to me. And what about the Dark Mirror, and Blue’s trip to the Dark World? Shadow losing his powers? How could you have anticipated all that?”

“Yeah, uh,” Shadow tells Tingle, “I was in very real pain for a bit there.”

Tingle sighs. “I didn’t know that the mirror being fractured would hurt you. I thought Blue or Red would simply fall in and realize they needed to break it completely, and that’d be that.”

“But did we have to break it at all?” Red asks, although his voice remains empathetic. “Shadow losing his powers is a pretty severe consequence of events that didn’t actually need to happen.”

Tingle turns to Shadow, addressing him specifically. “It was going to happen soon enough. Surely, you could tell something was going on with your connection to the Dark World. I realized it myself when you told Vio about being comfortable in the sunlight.”

“Sure” Shadow concedes, “but you still have to admit this whole thing was pretty insane. A lot of things could have gone very wrong.”

“I was almost killed by a lizalfos,” says Green.

Vio’s expression turns somber. “And I had to sacrifice the Fire Temple throne.”

Shadow slams a hand over his own mouth. “No!”

“It sounds like you had good intentions,” Red tells Tingle with a reassuring smile. “And the party is very nice.”

Tingle frowns. “Yeah… okay, I’m starting to see the flaws in my plan. Sorry I got overzealous. I’ll, uh, make sure to send the hinoxes gift baskets or something.”

For some reason, Shadow feels compelled to comfort the strange little man. Maybe he sees himself in the guy, just a little—hadn’t he and Vio thought the same thing about hiring him in the first place?

“You know what?” Shadow says, not quite smiling but not frowning, either. “At the end of the day, your plan was successful. It brought us all together again. And I’m thankful for that.”

Tingle gives him a tiny bow, which looks particularly strange since he’s suspended mid-air by a balloon. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Shadow glances at Vio, who nods for him to continue. “But, Tingle… you’re still fired. Not banished or anything—but very, very fired.”

Tingle takes a moment to consider, and then shrugs. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Seemingly inspired, Red turns to Blue. “You’re fired too!”

“Sorry?”

“You hate working at the shop. You need to do something you actually care about!”

“Hylia, are you evicting me from the apartment too?”

“Of course not, silly! I love living with you!”

Shadow notices Blue’s blush and smirks. Okay, something’s definitely going on there.

“Fine,” Blue says, “yeah, thanks, actually. I think I want to try my hand at some actual dungeon crawling. I have always claimed to be the real Hero, after all.”

“By all means, go ahead,” Green tells him. “I’m perfectly happy on the ranch.”

Shadow reaches for Vio’s hand and squeezes it. “Not to be tacky, but I think we should do a toast.”

Vio raises an eyebrow. “That is very tacky, actually. Let’s do it.”

Everyone at the table, Tingle included, raises their glasses.

“To the future,” Shadow says, basking in the attention of his new friends.

“And to friends,” Vio adds with a shy smile.

Red beams. “And to fun!”

“And adventure,” contributes Blue.

Green looks to Zelda. “To courage.”

“And wisdom.”

“And pumpkin soup!” Tingle exclaims, and even Vio can’t help but chuckle at the sheer absurdity.

Shadow clinks his husband’s glass and takes a sip from his own. “To the darkest timeline,” Vio says quietly, just between them. Shadow goes in for the headbonk with no hesitation.

“Thank darkness for that.”

#screaming crying punching the air #very good #others writing #fsa vidow #four swords

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