āWhenever grief creeps up on me, I try to find some solace in knowing that a part of the people we loved will always remain with us. And even when my heart breaks a little, I try to hear an echo of your voice in someone elseās story, try to hold on to the things you left behind. Fragments, scattered across our lives and memories like footprints even the tide can never fully wash away. Iām not talking about obvious things like photos and the clothes we canāt bring ourselves to throw away. This is different. When you left, you became one with this world. Iāll find parts of you in a beautiful sunset. In the first drop of rain that hits the pavement on a summer day. In the first breath of fresh air after leaving a crowded room. I can find them in so many aspects of life that I know I will never be alone, and whenever I reach out to you, youāll be there. And maybe this wonāt make it hurt less. It will certainly not bring you back. But at least it will allow me to find peace someday, knowing that wherever you are right now, you are never truly far.ā
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I really canāt work this muchā¦ I donāt really have time for the things I really want to do and my work environment is just extremely toxic on both ends ā¦ā¦ i know I need the money.. but at this point that isnāt even worth itā¦. My heat beat is constantly over 120 to 140 bpm and Iām not like working out or lifting heavy thingsā¦. I mostly just stand in one place but ~anxiety~ šš» I canāt handle it anymoreeeee even before work itās just I canāt function and Iām just constantly afraid