mechanicalchickens

[mechanicalchickens]

Ways your fortified points-of-light fantasy city with no discernible agricultural base supports itself that aren't "they eat the monsters":

There's no farmland spreading below the city's mountain fastness because all of the crops are above. Most of the mountain's surface area below the permanent snowline is taken up by a series of colossal hydroponic terraces fed by seasonal meltwater from the snow pack above. (Don't ask who built the terraces.)

The city's famed heaven-piercing towers are aviaries for millions upon untold millions of fruit and seed eating birds, which forage the surrounding countryside by day and roost there at night; their meat and eggs form the community's staple diet. In order to fend off ecological depletion, crack teams of combat-trained wilderness maintenance experts venture forth daily, escorting great cartloads of birdshit on targeted fertilising missions (though in truth they hardly need their swords, as the smell keeps the monsters at bay).

Those weird caverns that seem to be present under every random shed and outhouse are all connected. That's why the giant mutant rats in the basement of the local inn are such a big deal – they're not just annoying the guests, they're also obstructing the community's principal trade route!

For Reasons, the city's population is only about ten percent of its carrying capacity. The city's interior green spaces are presently sufficient for food production, and its citizens take turns dressing up as soldiers and manning the walls once a week to create the illusion of a robust military presence. Unfortunately, the ruse can't last forever, as they lack the manpower to maintain their crumbling infrastructure, nor will they be able to defend themselves when – not if, but when – the neighbouring city-states figure it out.

There's actually plenty of conventional farmland; it's just that the entire campaign takes place south of the city, and the farms are all to the north. Why don't the farms expand southward to claim the clearly arable land? Well, there's a funny story about that...

#worldbuilding #ttrpgs

[mechanicalchickens]

tommen and myrcella officially in a competition for the iron throne but actually in a competition to be the top sacrificial lamb in all of the seven kingdoms

#asoiaf #house lannister

[mechanicalchickens]

op is a beet farmer

#can't believe tommen doesn't understand the vital role of beets in the economy :/ very riverlandsphobic of him :/

[mechanicalchickens]

omg brasil canon in asoiaf

#asoiaf

[mechanicalchickens]

#queue

[mechanicalchickens]

dancing griffs

more here

#jon connington #young griff #asoiaf #asoiaf art

[mechanicalchickens]

br & beau if they were from the 70s instead of being from the ambiguous and unquantifiable era of "cowboy times"

[mechanicalchickens]

sorry randomly thought about the riverrun godswood's wild mint again. just fucking unrestrained ground-planted mint. i'm shocked it hasn't carpeted over the whole of the riverlands.

#asoiaf

[mechanicalchickens]

no fucking awoo. no awoo right now. its late. its not awoo time. its sleeping time. go the fuck to bed.

[mechanicalchickens]

Ooh jon connington? Love your art!

there he is :D and thank you !!

#jon connington #asoiaf #asoiaf art

[mechanicalchickens]

aussie starks. cat's from hardy irish catholics who came over as convicts (stole from the fishmonger) and she's very embarrassed about it even though people think that's cool. ned descends from ballarat gold rush migrants from china and from guys who fought (and lost spectacularly) in the eureka rebellion

robb is an AFL player and worries he's disappointing his dad cos ned's a rugby man. this is his major pathos in life. he works with surf life saving australia and somehow makes the dorky uniform look good. there's a viral video of him doing a summer safety thing where he's doing the "slip slop slap and wrap" and well. im sure you can tell why it went viral

is dating dirtbag theon who works part time at bunnings and is soon going to be fired for the following:

constantly late

all his coworkers hate him except Sheila the nice old lady general manager and he's her favourite when he's being a ratbag she's like aw theon's a nice boy :( meanwhile theon is hitting on the middle aged mothers trying to do home renovations

acts like the bunnings sausage is free cos he works there even though its for charity and he does this while he's off work too

brings girls to the bunnings roof to impress them (liability issue and it doesnt even impress them much)

is the kind of sydneysider with a coke habit and is the sole reason that syndey's cocaine use rebounded back to the usual habits

also he got kicked out of and subsequently banned forever from the sydney mardi gras but he still goes he just wears disguses

jon is training to be a firefighter :) bran is in first year of high school and hates it (being 13 does that to you) he used to play 4 square but the wheelchair makes it difficult now so his new hobby is making paper planes like that one australian movie from ten years ago

rickon is in primary school and keeps forgetting his hat so they keep putting him in the shelter shed (no hat no play no fun today) but the shelter shed is 30 years old and gives you splinters if you even look at it and he's been ripping the boards up and using it as swords

sansa goes to like Sydney Girls Grammar or some such with the starched uniforms and prissy bitch attitudes. the school from j'aime high school girl basically. arya goes for a term and gets suspended for vandalism and cat enrolls her in public school (tears running down her face). sansa goes to monash or swinburne uni and becomes an insufferable melbourne woke hipster

alternatively theyre like the irwin family and run a dingo sanctuary or something. sansa is bindi irwin. robb is like robert irwin he goes on tv and has a really pronounced accent. and i guess in this steve irwin au ned got mauled to death by a zoo lion

#asoiaf #house stark

[mechanicalchickens]

why is explaining a villains sad backstory always taken as an effort toward excusing their actions. why does the conversation need to involve the question of excusing anything rather than just making their present behavior way more interesting by complicating their feelings or their motivations. why is acknowledging complicated feelings or motivations taken as apologism in and of itself. why is everyone so incredibly boring

[mechanicalchickens]

I wonder if the Dunk and Egg show’ll end up showing the Spring Sickness/d&e’s time in Dorne in between adapting Hedge Knight and Sworn Sword? I doubt that novella’s getting written, it’d be confusing to circle back after TMK, and it’d circumvent having to do a bunch of explaining of the time jump.

#asoiaf #dunk and egg #posting

[mechanicalchickens]

Same as it Ever Was

(colorless under cut! Queen of just dropping lines on us in casual convos)

#red stitch report #isabelle floop #art

[mechanicalchickens]

Mitzi's fanart I did for fun this afternoon in 3 three hours. Experimenting with lightning. Tell me if it works ^^

@lackadaisycats

#lackadaisy #mitzi may #fanart

[mechanicalchickens]

i love thinking about the family connections in the reach, like sam's whole family tree is insane (cousin to the tyrells, cousin to shireen and edric, grandfather burned by melisandre, etc.) but my favorite thing to realize is that jorah was margaery and loras's uncle lmaooo

#asoiaf

[mechanicalchickens]

this is what the running monologue sounds like in my head when i look at edgeworth

#miles edgeworth #ace attorney