matthewmilam - Tumblr blog

matthewmilam · 9 months

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youtube

If #videopower was made today with #twitchstreamers

#videopower #twitchstreamers #omjess #kiwionthesticks #dontbgelas #Youtube

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matthewmilam · 10 months

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Using VIM Editor to Write

I’ve been looking for a way to get into writing without the distractions that doesn’t require pen and paper. Linux offers the VIM editor - it seems a bit difficult to get used to, but it may be helpful for giving me the ability to concentrate.

I’ll put that into use this weekend.

#linux #vimeditor #writing #vim

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matthewmilam · 10 months

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I need to watch this again. I like to brood on islands about my past while vampires come to feast lol

MIDNIGHT MASS (2021) created by Mike Flanagan Book II - Psalms

#midnightmass #netflix

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matthewmilam · 10 months

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I Have Talent

I’m very good at the art of manifesting for others (whether it happens for them or not). I am not good at manifesting that future for myself for the same reason. It becomes an addiction to put others before yourself, to the point where you feel disengaged, depressed and frustrated that you can’t curate any enjoyment for you.

I edit and make videos, I write, I stream and in general make good content. Is it seen the way I’d like? No. To be a creator I can’t live by the rule that it has to matter to the public for it to exist.

The things I create exist because I want them to and because I want to see the world as I see it - funny, a little fucked up and maybe insightful.

#talent #optimism #manifesting

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matthewmilam · 10 months

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I haven’t had close friends in years. The two that I did know moved away before the 2000s. We would call each other, but it never felt the same. Visiting each other didn’t feel the same.

To be honest, I wasn’t the same.

I had always been the one who spoke what was on my mind. To an extent, that probably hurt me more than helped.

“It's taboo to admit that you're lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven't left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you're not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are. A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn't transition well to adult life, that you'd fall right through the cracks. And look at you now, it's happening.”

#honesttruth #reflecting

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matthewmilam · 10 months

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I receive this.

one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.

- via duckbunny

#poetry #wisdom

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matthewmilam · 10 months

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The Civil Rights movement had it’s extreme moments as well. The version mainstream america often puts up is only half of the story

#african american #civil rights #what the fuuuuck

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matthewmilam · 10 months

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I feel scared by love admittedly because I’m too caught up in the warm and fuzzy 80s/90s love ballad version. Once I get through that part, it’s the messy honeydew list aspect where I seem to not work out - I forget things, get misunderstood, told I’m stupid....