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maltacus · 14 days
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Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Warcraft - All Media Types, Warcraft III Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jaina Proudmoore & Sylvanas Windrunner, Jaina Proudmoore/Sylvanas Windrunner, Jaina Proudmoore/Thrall, Jaina Proudmoore & Thrall, Dark Ranger(s) & Everyone, Jaina Proudmoore & Pained, Jaina Proudmoore/Dark Ranger Anya Characters: Jaina Proudmoore, Thrall (Warcraft), Sylvanas Windrunner, Cairne Bloodhoof, Varok Saurfang, Pained (Warcraft), Dark Ranger Anya (Warcraft) Additional Tags: Diplomacy, Olympics, Games, Friendship, Bisexual Jaina Proudmoore, Blushing Summary:
The Forsaken are considering new allies in Kalimdor and have made overtures to both the Horde and the cosmopolitan tinpot-little-Alliance-city next to Durotar. In an effort to smoothen tensions between all three factions the peace-brokering archmage Jaina Proudmoore invites all delegations to a couple of days of games and contest.
Without a doubt both Horde and Forsaken representatives will conduct themselves in a sportsly and amiable way towards one another.
And the interest in foreign races and peoples that the ruler of Theramore is renowned for is purely professional and academic of course.
Jaina Proudmoore is not staring. Not at all.
Let the Kalimdor Olympics begin!
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maltacus · 18 days
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My Dread Lady, Chapter 47
“The rangers I command rank among the greatest fighters ever to come out of Quel’thalas. They are also incorrigible delinquents and bickering mongrels all. I will expect a representative of the king of Khaz Modan to set an example for them and conduct himself accordingly.”
“Are you that?” Runar asked Velonara. “Incorrigible delinquents and bickering mongrels?”
“Woof.”
Cyndia leaned back contently. Velonara was happy again. And Anya was happy to go to Theramore.
Cyndia would really like to see that place too. Some time. She was not too keen on cities after all.
But first she really had to go take a look at how Dalaran was doing. Would there be enough forage now with the deep snow? Were their stableboys warm?
“Can we raise more sail, Captain?”
Hoist. Hoist more sail, damn it.
“Lady Proudmoore.”
“Lady Windrunner. Welcome to Theramore, all of you.”
“We were in the neighbourhood.”
“Dark Lady?” It was Kitala’s voice, which Sylvanas had to take an extra moment to remind herself of. There were more people in the room than her and Jaina. “If you and Jaina are going to argue about who is most to blame, would you like us to keep score?”
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maltacus · 1 month
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My Dread Lady, Chapter 46
“Thrall, you who know about these human stuffs…” the High Overlord wondered. “…what sort of chief is a hanker-chief?”
Pained was bravely holding on. She somehow managed to down her meal with Clea and Kitala flanking her, Lyana and the Mirrahs in front and The Naras cutting off any remaining paths of escape. They were interrogating her without mercy.
“Jaina has told us so much about the night elves! Do all of you ride on cats?”
“Are all of them fluffy like Fluffy?”
“Do you live in trees?”
“Do you have a tree, Miss Pained? Or do you live with someone?”
“Are you engaged with someone? Is he cute? Or is she cute?”
“Is it true that druids are half stags? Do elves they charm go for a ride? And what about the dryads?”
“Can you shapeshift to anything you want or do you have your own animal form? Which one is Malfurion’s? Can he shapeshift Tyrande too?”
“What was the deal with Tyrande and Malfurion and Illidan long ago? Do you know any details, Miss Pained?”
“And what was Illidan and Maiev up to all those boring centuries cooped up in her dungeons? Nothing? Reaaaally?”
“Sylvanas! I challenge! Mud’gora!”
“JAINA! That is not something to take lightly!” Thrall was outraged.
“No, no, no, no.” Jaina waggled her finger at him and all other listeners. “We are not having any horrible blood sport here. Not mak’gora. Mud’gora. An ancient Kul Tiran custom.”
“Look at my new mud golem, isn't she pretty?!”
“Evening is a pleasant time to travel. May the spirits always keep good watch over you, Jaina.”
“Have you accounted for how long it will take the rangers to say goodbye to your wolves?”
“Hm. Ah, night-time is not too bad either I suppose…”
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maltacus · 1 month
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My Dread Lady, Chapter 45
So, these ungovernable scoundrels wanted a match? She would match them twice over! Sylvanas had her bow drawn before anyone could blink. Time to let insurgent subordinates, Theramorian greenhorns, Pained and the Horde ruffians know how it was really done.
And trust her rangers to interfere with the slowly settling tranquillity at the first available opportunity! As if they had not themselves argued for her to join them mere minutes ago?
“I bet our squad leader can out-shoot yours with one eye closed.” Velonara bragged.
“Well, I bet our squad leader can thrash yours with one arm tied behind her back!” Kitala retaliated.
“Ours can beat yours with both hands tied together with her toenails!” Lenara said this time.
“Ours can beat yours blindfolded and locked into a dwarven treasure vault!” Anya crowed.
“Hold on to your hats, lads and lasses!” Velonara disrupted both their focus. “It is the final round, Fair Lady versus Dark Lady! Let us hope no one cheats because then we would have Foul Lady versus Dork L –“
“Behave yourself!”
Sylvanas and Kalira barked at Vel’ before they realised they had done it in unison. Kalira rolled her eyes when they briefly exchanged equally exasperated looks.
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maltacus · 1 month
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Diablo (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Amazon (Diablo II), Narrator Additional Tags: Fluff, Comedy, Satire, Friendship, Demons, Singing Series: Part 3 of Diabolical Misadventures Summary:
Since gilded amazon Törnrosa (Sleeping Beauty) tossed a golden apple into the triumvirate of the red, blue and green ones they bicker incessantly about whose skills are the mightiest and actually destroyed said artefact first. To settle the dispute the bored chronicler Maltatai calls upon high arbiter and unimpressed evaluator of skills Rapunzel.
Rödluvan (Red Riding Hood), Snövit (Snow White and Askungen (Cinderella) together with the assisting side-kicks and henchmen and -women provide helpful advise and assistance.
Or at the very least they provide distracting annoyance.
Resistance is futile.
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maltacus · 1 month
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The Cruel Ranger, Chapter 17
“Jaina and I are travelling together. As travelling companions. She is not…” Sylvanas tried to assert.
“Of course.” Halahk agreed ever pleasantly, but then he looked again at her, slightly incredulous, and broke into a merry chuckle.
“Don’t tell me that… Aren’t you supposed to be some expert scout and tracker? Do you seriously need an age old knight from a holy order to help you see what is right before your eyes? Oh, by the Light this is all too rich… Haha!”
“Sir Halahk, kindly quiet yourself before you wake my ward up.” Sylvanas tried to be stern, but something did not quite work with that this evening.
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maltacus · 2 months
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The Cruel Ranger, Chapter 16
“We’re packed like fish in a barrel since the outlying families came here to escape the dead. But the barmaid, Gillian, might be persuaded to let you bunk at the stables. It’s just a barn, but should be warm enough this time of the year.” He frowned and appeared to hesitate slightly. “Not that someone with your talents would lack the means to stay warm, but maybe it could be wiser to limit those kinds of things, with all the hay around and all…”
“Of course. I will keep my eager mount reined in.” Sylvanas promised while Jaina made some half-strangled sounds and looked indignantly at her. “I had better get to stabling her and then get us some dinner. Maybe a carrot or an apple or two.”
Jaina hissed at her.
“Stabling your…”
In response Sylvanas clicked with her tongue in the way she knew humans were in the habit of doing to their horses.
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maltacus · 2 months
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My Dread Lady, Chapter 44
Jaina wants to make everything right when inviting the Forsaken to Theramore. The first step is to make sure the Horde neighbours do not get any funny ideas about it, and while she is at it she could make a point of re-establishing the badly damaged relations between them. Not to mention what a brilliant opportunity it would be to talk timbers. How though, can she make a gathering of hotheads play nice? That last visit of the Forsaken to Theramore ended in a Wail after all… Perhaps a bit of games for champions eager to put their peers into place and the hooting hooligans who cheer on them? Let the Kalimdor Olympics begin!
Perhaps the most important thing was that Sylvanas knew all her rangers well. She would be able to take appropriate steps to make them all act...
"Tastingo! Da spirits be telling me I be spying da big bad Warchief over there, mon."
...appropriately?!
Jaina nearly fainted, or thought she would. Even disregarding the small fact that they were at a sensitive diplomatic meeting between otherwise technically almost hostile nations, that was the cringiest imitation of darkspear troll accentuated Common she had possibly ever heard.
"Dat big and mighty armour of his be making it clear as da witchy doctor's tea, mon. You should be getting one too, Dark Chieftain Lady. You be asking da big bad Warchief if you could trade garments, yes?" Velonara continued to suggest.
"Queen Sylvanas Windrunner." Thrall greeted his peer.
"Warchief Thrall." Sylvanas bowed her head politely. "You are shorter than I expected."
"You are just as short as I expected. I see your scouts are as unruly as mine."
"Barely house-trained, on the best of days. And that was before they all went and died on me." Sylvanas quipped without missing a beat. "Now there is no rest for the wicked in all of Lordaeron."
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maltacus · 2 months
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My Dread Lady, Valentines Day Greeting
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maltacus · 3 months
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My Dread Lady, Chapter 43
After hotheaded negotiations, Jaina and Sylvanas finally reunite.
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maltacus · 3 months
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My Dread Lady, Chapter 42
“W-we don’t have a relationship.”
Had Tyrande paused to look at her, or was Jaina just imagining it?
“A figure of speech, semantics. But she and the dark rangers of hers are firmly on your mind, are they not?”
“Yes…”
“What are we doing?” Lyana asked.
“We’re spying, of course?” Kitala answered in hushed whispers.
“Yes, I know that, but why are we spying on the dwarves? They are friends now, aren’t they?”
“We are dark rangers, of course we spy.”
“YOU HAVE GOO-DAY! GORDO LOOK FOR MORE BAD GHOULS! GORDO SMASH!”
With that, the two parties went their separate ways along the road.
Anya and her squadron, still hidden out of sight, looked at each other and did not really know what to think or say.
"Honestly, what does Gordo the Abomination have that we don't?"
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maltacus · 3 months
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Update
Or something.
I've checked with the travel company for lost items which did not turn up anything. I did not expect it would but kept out of writing on the next two chapters on the small chance that the memory stick would have been recovered.
Now however since I consider it confirmed to be lost forever I have begun rewriting the next one and it is about 3k out of 10k finished, but included most of the first scene which I had finished previously and which was a pain to have to rewrite. The rest will be easier to get into I hope.
Starting a new job next Tuesday, after which time will be scarcer but I'm hoping to get some little bit more writing done before that.
The Theramore chapters are coming along better, I have gotten a lot of ideas for what should happen in the beginning there. Just need to catch up so I can get to those.
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maltacus · 4 months
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Delays and more delays
My Dread Lady was supposed to be updated twice during last month but my, now former, work got in the way. More precisely a department manager who is Priscilla Ashvane in mind and spirit as well as in appearance.
That thing is now mostly settled and I have a new and much more promising job waiting. I was just getting back into writing when yesterday I lost the usb-stick on which I have kept all the notes on the rest of the story and the drafts of two mostly finished coming chapters. All in all 12-17k of words gone I guess. And there is no backup.
I have carried the thing around daily for about a year, and now of all times something like that happened. So that story is on a hiatus until...frankly I don't quite know. It is not impossible to rewrite those chapters but it sucks having to do it. And as with all things creative, it isn't a linear process. Sometimes you manage something one day that you wouldn't be able to replicate the next.
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maltacus · 5 months
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My Dread Lady, Part 41
Fluffy white materials abound both here and there. Jaina visits Tyrande while the proper and correct dwarven envoys make themselves at home. Beware of dwarves bearing gifts…if you try to maintain order and a tight shift, that is. The elven rangers have typically lived their lives in the eternal summer of Quel’thalas and with extremely little experience with snow and their general disposition and manners, anyone can understand how they will act with reserved dignity in case of such weather.
The teleportation spell faded away from Jaina’s view and the wood and stone of her tower was replaced by mossy rocks and colossal tree trunks around them. Jaina blinked to get used to the different light. There was so much to take in but right before her were first and foremost the night elves’ archdruid and finest – in Jaina’s opinion at least – priestess of the moon. And also –
”Fluffyyy!” Jaina cried and spread her arms wide with a big smile.
The second after she was bowled over when a hurricane of thick white-and-black fuzziness leapt on her and turned midway in the air to shield her from the ground with its front legs. Theramore’s archmage proceeded to return the hug and burrowed her face into the soft fur of the frostsaber’s throat.
”Hello to you as well, Jaina.”
”Right. So we asked around a bit and, well…it’s a few card decks, some sets of dice, some board games –”
”Open up!”
”The thing is, we had this idea when we packed for this expedition…” Halvdan did not get any further when half a dozen eager elves swarmed them and proceeded to unpack the contents like it was an actual treasure chest.
”We weren’t sure if it maybe was a stupid thing to bring those.” Runar tried to pick up unsurely. ”We wouldn’t want to, how to say…trivialise the Forsaken’s situation.”
Nara Pathstrider gave him a sceptical eye, which was telling because on other side of her nose was only a deep scar.
”Is that another game, like ’think up the stupidest question’ competition?”
”You can play that while we play Hearthstone.” Velonara scoffed. ”Dibs!”
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maltacus · 5 months
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My Dread Lady, Chapter 40
Mail and mail-not-ordered deliveries abound in Azeroth.
”Pained?”
”Yes?”
”Don’t get too worked up now, but I am seriously thinking of going away again for a short time…abroad, so to say.”
”I suppose I should draw My Lady’s attention to my ominously lowered brows.” Pained pointed at the impression she made of a seriously displeased tauren. ”Does the notably vague term ’abroad’ in this case refer to Lordaeron?”
”No, as a matter of fact no.” Jaina ignored the slight flush of her cheeks. ”I was rather thinking of Ashenvale in fact. It strikes me that it was a long time since I last wrote to Tyrande and if she have found out that I have gone missing she may be very worried.”
Pained cleared her throat and looked a little guilty.
”Hm, yes, that might be very prudent.”
”Pained, if it was you who had disappeared I would send Tyrande a panicked letter within half a week.”
”I assure you I delayed until at least a whole week after your disappearance. By which time I had received your not altogether reassuring note, My Lady.”
”Considering the circumstances I assure you it was the best I was able to put together. Poor you, it can���t have been easy waiting here without any way of knowing what went on with me in Lordaeron. Just being on the writing end and not knowing if anyone is actually reading is taxing enough.”
”Well, so long as My Lady does not speak to any strange satyrs and remembers to notify the rest of the party when she feels the urge to stop to look at every interesting creature or flower…”
”That one has your nose.”
”That one definitely has your chin.”
”And your belly.”
”And your ass.”
It was a cold, cloudy and windy day in Lordaeron. It did not bother anyone in the group especially much.
”They should both feel right at home then, shouldn’t they?” Kalira remarked dryly over the habitual bickering. ”When they join their respective ranger squadrons we would so hate for anyone to feel like they stood out, wouldn’t we?”
Two squadrons’ worth of rangers turned to look with palpable suspicion and not a little apallment at Cyndia’s commander.
”Their uniforms will prove a hassle though…” Kalira continued to muse. ”I guess we will simply have to stitch a dozen or so cloaks together. And then to stealth training…”
Now she was faced with more than one grimace.
”Noble Commander, it is all well and good that you have discovered this new sense of humour thing…” Lenara begun.
”…but could you make it just a little less twisted?” Nara filled in with a shudder. ”Abominations in a ranger squadron is not something we joke about – ever, understand?”
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maltacus · 6 months
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Ire and Spite, WoW fanfiction about Alleria
A lighthearted WoW fanfiction about a troubled post-Shadowlands Alleria finding comfort from a couple of awkward elves in Dalaran after accidentally getting Pandarian red curry spilled over her and a following dinner invitation.
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maltacus · 6 months
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A Haunted Hallows Eve, Chapter 3
Sylvanas enacts her genius plan to prank Jaina by offering her literally the night of her dreams. Dreams which Sylvanas has personal first-hand experience with. Azeroth can rest peacefully knowing that their top leadership is busy playing dress-up.
“If you are Lady Moon and Vereesa Little moon, would I be a Sailor Moon now?” Jaina asked while she turned to look at herself from the side.
“Keep up the good work Miss Proudmoore and maybe you will join this family of lunatics sooner than you think.” Sylvanas flashed her a pearly grin.
“Let’s hear a growl!” Jaina suggested.
“What – no.”
“Come on. What kind of frostsaber would you be if you don’t growl? Just a little one?”
“You are so pretty when you’re thinking, do you know that?” The Frostsaber Queen caressed her cheek with a fuzzy gloved paw. “Tell me what devious deviant things that go on in there. I have only caught a glimpse after all.”
But the singing she could un-live without, Sylvanas thought.
“Soft banshee, warm banshee, little ball of fur…” Jaina rocked her slightly. “Happy banshee, sleepy banshee, purr, purr, p –
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