my brain seems unable to focus on anything but daydreaming about bard!geralt & witcher!jaskier. so i seem to have written a short fic? whoops. bath scene PG shenannigans.
Geralt is a dramatic, socially awkward bard. Jaskier is fun and fashionable witcher who loves attention.
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Jaskier was in his element, waving a pint in the air and sloshing it all over himself while a crowd of villagers listened to him enthusiastically tell stories of his witcher exploits.
The door of the tavern slowly opened, and the crowd turned to see a depressed looking bard stomp inside, peering over at them.
Jaskier turned to take him in and threw back his head and laughed. Geralt still had bits of decorative flowers trapped in his hair, and on his clothes. Once Jaskier got up close he could a heavy scent of perfume, the lingering smell of sizzling fat from roast poultry, and something else âŚ
âHow was the festival, Geralt?â
Geralt grumbled and pulled a stray ribbon off his clothes. âA knight vomited at my feet on the second night of banqueting. There were no baths and I had to keep playing for two more nights. I need a drink.â He stomped off to the bar and Jaskier skipped after him.
Upstairs in their room, Jaskier had taken off his witcher armour while Geralt, out of his stinking festival clothes, stepped into the steaming wooden tub. Jaskier sat down beside the tub, propping his head up on his palm and gazing raptly at the bardâs glowering face.
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my heart
I Know
Eskel finds the bard amusing.
The young, bubbly musician is sweet, kind-hearted and charming. Eskel also finds him very smart and funny, to Geralt's slight annoyance.
But the most amusing thing is the way Geralt tries to pretend he isn't fond of the man. Eskel still doesn't understand the connection between them, but he's sure there's something going on.
His suspicions are confirmed one night, when they're camping out in the forest. Eskel is lying awake on his bedroll when he hears shuffling sounds and Jaskier's voice, coming from the darkness.
"Geralt?" The bard speaks quietly, thinking that the other Witchers can't hear him. "Geralt, are you awake?".
Eskel hears Geralt shifting on his bedroll, grunting quietly. "I am now".
The bard's laugh is light and short. "I'm sorry, love. I couldn't fall asleep". Since when does Jaskier call Geralt "love"?. "So I thought... Maybe we could... The others are asleep".
"You want to sleep together?" Geralt asked him. There was no mocking tone in his voice.
"Maybe, just hold each other for a bit? I can drag my bedroll over here. We can cuddle and then drift off, each one on his own bedroll".
Cuddle?
"Okay." Eskel heard his older brother say. "C'mere". A few more shuffling sounds, a quiet laugh and then Geralt's gruff voice again-
"I missed you".
Eskel blinked.
"I missed you, too, dear".
He heard Geralt sigh. "I'm sorry... For all of this. I promise I will tell them, just give me a little more tim-".
"Shush, dear. Stop apologizing. It's okay. We've got all the time in the world. I don't want to force you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Even though I'm a 100% sure your brothers will be okay with this. But still. Do it when you ready".
Damn, Eskel loved that bard. The younger Witcher smiled to himself as he heard Geralt chuckling.
"Thank you, Jask. I promise I'll tell them once we reach Kaer Morhen. You deserve bette-".
"Shut up".
There was a moment of silence. And then-
Oh.
Those were definitely kissing sounds. Eskel closed his eyes again, trying to go back to sleep.
A button popping, fabric ripping. A quiet curse and then a moan-
Eskel slipped quietly out of his bedroll, deciding it was a good time to go and take a piss in the woods.
***
The next morning, while they were on the road, everything seemed normal.
Eskel couldn't help but to watch Geralt and Jaskier closely. The two were walking a few feet ahead of them. Jaskier was talking about something enthusiastically, gesturing wildly with his hands. Geralt was being quiet as usual, staring ahead and mumbling something in response from time to time.
Although Eskel was busy talking with Lambert, the next scene didn't escape his eyes.
Geralt probably made a sarcastic remark, cause Jaskier was now gasping and swatting at his arm. Geralt shoulders were shaking in quiet laughter, as he bumped lightly into Jaskier. For a brief moment, Geralt intertwined their pinkies together, staying like that for another moment, before letting go.
Although Eskel couldn't see Jaskier's face, he knew the bard was smiling.
Eskel almost jumped in his place when Geralt turned his head to look at him. They stared at each other for a second, before Geralt gave Eskel a faint half-smile and turned back to ther road. Eskel smiled, too.
"What are you smiling at?" Lambert asked Eskel, frowning in confusion.
Eskel sighed. "You wouldn't get a hint even it hit you in the face".
"Fuck off. Bet it took you time to realize that pretty boy and songbird over there are sleeping together".
Eskel blinked at him. "How did you know?".
"How did you not know? Not his friend, my ass".
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wowowow love jaskier as a sulky dragon <3
If you're still taking request - your arranged marriage Au made me think of Jaskier as maybe someone cursed and in a tower, maybe everyone thinks the prince in a tower is guarded by a terrible dragon but the prince IS the dragon, and Geralt investigates?
Cute idea, elementalsight!
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âRescuing a fair maiden, really?â Geralt said.
âThe notice had he/him pronouns, so probably not exactly,â Yennefer said, looking at her nails. âAnd you need the money. Do you want the contract or not?â
Geralt picked it up from the table and smoothed the parchement.Â
âThereâs really very little information here, they say heâs guarded by a dragon?â
âMmmhmm,â Yennefer said, brushing at a chip in her nail polish that was probably imaginary.
âThereâs no dragons out here, the terrains wrong, weâd know anyway.â
âMmh, intriguing, right? Bet you wanna take that contract now.â Yen hadnât looked up from her nails.
âYen, what do you know?â He lashes cast odd shadows across her face in the torchlight.
âNothing Iâm telling you,â she said. Then she summoned a portal and disappeared with a swish of skirts.
Damn. He really was out of money though.
The tower wasnât imposing or ominous. It wasnât made of black stone or crooked, no random lightning storms or smoke, it wasnât even that tall.Â
âGo away,â the voice came from a throat like a blast furnace and Geralt was staring into the slitted eyes of a mid sized (still big enough to eat him, just in more than one bite) dragon.
âHello,â he said. âWhatâs a sky dragon doing in a place like this.â It was his special âtalking to horses or big animalsâ voice.
âNot a sky dragon,â the sky dragon grumbled.
âYes you are, and whatâs weird is that you should be up on some chilly cliff, not in a forest.â
âIâm a dragon, not any special kind. The eat you all up and burn your armor kind.â There was a pout in the voice now.Â
Geralt scratched one of the snout scales.
âSure,â he said. The dragon huffed, blue-silver smoke rings curling from the nostrils. No eating occurred.
âI imagine Iâm not very good eating,â Geralt said. Most witchers would probably at least give a dragon indigestion. âI also imagine you know something very important about the prince in the tower.â
The dragon, despite having eyes the size of soup bowls, did not meet Geraltâs gaze.
âHeâs not even a very important prince, I donât know why youâre interested.â
âIâd quite like to know why heâs imprisoned in a tower,â Geralt said, although a mental picture was forming. âAnd why I have a contract to kill both him and the dragon guarding it.â
The dragon pulled back sharply and hissed. A blade thin line of fire, blue and so hot it nearly seared off an eyebrow, missed Geralt by inches.
âMonster hunter,â the dragon said, shifting up on itâs haunches like it was getting ready to pounce. It wasnât. He could see it in the muscles, they werenât bunched right. The dragon didnât want to hurt him, and the eyes just looked sad and kind of resigned.
âYes,â Geralt admitted, holding up his hands, both currently sword free. âBut I donât want to kill him...or you. Monster hunter, not prince hunter.â
âDragons are monsters,â the dragon said.Â
âOnly to stupid people,â Geralt replied. âAnd sheep,â he added as an afterthought. âI want to meet this prince of yours.â
âNONE MAY ENTER,â the dragon said. âNOW LEAVE BEFORE I BURST YOUR EARDRUMS WITH A ROARâ
âYou canât, thatâs only earth dragons, theyâre all curled up under a mountain somewhere, and theyâre certainly never blue.â
âThe dragon looked nonplussed. âIâLL SPIT ACID IN YOUR FACE.â
âSwamp dragons,â Geralt said. âGreen or yellow and a little smaller.â
âIâLL...â
âYou were raised by humans,â Geralt interuppted.
âNo?â
âYes you were, otherwise youâd know more. Did the prince raise you? I wonât harm him you know, I only wanât to talk.â
âNONE MAY ENTER.â
âYes, youâve said, but I wonât take him away. I just want to know why people want him dead.â Here Geralt looked the dragon right in the blue eyes, close enough to se the silver flecks in the iris. âMaybe I can help him, help you both.â
The dragon looked away. âCome back at sunset.â
Geralt did.Â
He yelled out for the dragon but it wansnât there.
âIâm climbing the tower,â he called out. âDonât flame me, you invited me.â And he clambered up the tower. Coming back down heâd be thankful for the rope heâd brought, because the stones were slick and smooth. He sat on the small windowsill and swung his legs into a room.Â
It wasnât a very nice room. It was definitely a prison. small bed, one candle, uneven table and wobbly stool. A young man was sitting on the floor, cradling a lute.
âAre you the prince?â Geralt asked. He hadnât seen a picture and although he felt silly making sure, heâd feel sillier if he got it wrong.
âYes, are you the dragon slayer?â
âWitcher,â Geralt said. âAnd I didât slay your dragon.â
âHeâs not my dragon, heâs my fearsome jailer, keeping me inside this tower.â
âNo,â Geralt said. âI doubt it. Show me your eyes.â
âNo,â said the prince, not looking up.
âIâll bet theyâre a very pretty shade of blue,â Geralt said. âWith silver.â
Blue and silver eyes met gold.
âYou knew,â said the prince, swiping dirty, brown hair from his brow.
âYou act odd, for a dragon, prince...â he sought the memory. âJulian.â
âFriends call me Jaskier,â said Jaskier. âAlthough I donât have many. Just a little bit of dragon blood in the line, barely more than a drop, really, but I just so happen to get all of it. Anyway, I thought all dragons could look human.â
âThey can,â Geralt said. âBut theyâre raised by other dragons, so they donât act the same. Why are you inprisoned? And why was I sent to kill you.â
Jaskier sighed. âItâs not good, is it, to have a dragon for a son, even if he is your third son and wonât inherit. Father locked me up and had a mage cast a spell. As a dragon I can roam a little, but I canât climb down the tower as a human, and Iâm only human at night, some mishap with the runes as I understand. True loveâs kiss breaks the mageâs spell.â
Geralt scoffed. âThat pansy stuff never works.â
âItâs just what I was told,â said the prince, shrugging. âSomehow my father got the idea that true loves kiss will also make me no longer a dragon.â
âNot how that works,â Geralt said.
âNo,â Jaskier agreed. âBut he keeps sending heroes after me hoping theyâll kiss me.â
âThe contract said I was to kill both of you.â
âYes, well, that would also take care of the problem, wouldnât it?â
âThe problem being you?â Geralt said.Â
âThe problem, generally speaking, being me.âÂ
âWeâll break the spell,â Geralt said, although it wouldnât be that easy.
âAnd then what? I canât fight, Iâve no useful skills and nowhere to go. According to you I donât even make a very good dragon.â
The young man slumped down. âBut Iâve been so lonely,â he said. âYou know Iâve been here five years? Just me and my lute, I think Iâm going mad. You could even be a figment of my imagination.â
âRight,â Geralt said. âGetting you out first, dealing with other problems later.â
âWhere am I going to find true loveâs kiss?â asked Jaskier. âDo I kiss you?â
âYou could try?â Geralt said. He really wouldnât mind. The prince was whiny and a little dirty but very good looking. âBut I was thinking more like, finding the runes and wiping them out.â
âYou can just do that?â Jaskier leap to his feet. âTheyâre right up there,â he pointed among the cieling beams. âI canât reach them on my own but the two of us...â
Geralt was already lifting the princling onto his shoulders. He didnât weigh a lot.
âJust a little forward,â Jaskier said, accidentally kneeing Geralt in the chin.
âHmmm,â he said, to avoid cursing, and shifted forward.Â
âTheryâre coming off! The runes are wiping away!â
He was loud but Geralt couldnât blame him, five years was a long time. Although not compared to a dragonâs lifespan.
âTheyâre gone, Iâm free!âÂ
Geralt let the boy down from his shoulders and got a surprisingly tight hug and a very pleasant, extremely enthusiastic kiss.
âJust...you know, covering all my bases,â said the blushing prince. He really was cute.
Geralt carried him down the tower. Delighted, Jaskier turned into a dragon, then back to a human, then a smaller dragon, house cat sized, and perched on Geraltâs shoulder.
âWhere are we going now? And whatâs your name? Will I meet other witchers? Donât forget to bring my lute?â
It would probably get old very quickly, Geralt thought. But the company was kind of nice, if a little scaly.
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I believe in free education, one thatâs available to everyone; no matter their race, gender, age, wealth, etc⌠This masterpost was created for every knowledge hungry individual out there. I hope it will serve you well. Enjoy!
FREE ONLINE COURSESÂ (here are listed websites that provide huge variety of courses)
AlisonÂ
Coursera
FutureLearn
open2study
Khan Academy
edX
P2P U
Academic Earth
iversity
Stanford Online
MIT Open Courseware
Open Yale Courses
BBC Learning
OpenLearn
Carnegie Mellon University OLI
University of Reddit
Saylor
IDEAS, INSPIRATION & NEWS (websites which deliver educational content meant to entertain you and stimulate your brain)
TED
FORA
Big ThinkÂ
99u
BBC Future
Seriously Amazing
How Stuff Works
Discovery News
National Geographic
Science News
Popular Science
IFLScience
YouTube Edu
NewScientist
DIY & HOW-TOâSÂ (Donât know how to do that? Want to learn how to do it yourself? Here are some great websites.)
wikiHow
Wonder How To
instructables
eHow
Howcast
MAKE
Do it yourself
FREE TEXTBOOKS & E-BOOKS
OpenStax CNX
Open Textbooks
Bookboon
Textbook Revolution
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Read Print
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MIT Classics
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Open Textbooks BCcampus
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WikiBooks
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Directory of Open Access Journals
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Springer Open
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LEARN:
1. LANGUAGES
Duolingo
BBC Languages
Learn A Language
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Surface Languages
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Exposure Guide
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5. DRAWING & PAINTING
Enliighten
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6. INSTRUMENTS & MUSIC THEORY
Music Theory
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Please feel free to add more learning focused websites.Â
*There are a lot more learning websites out there, but I picked the ones that are, as far as Iâm aware, completely free and in my opinion the best/ most useful.
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turkey and azerbaijan are attacking armenia right now, and it's 1915 all over again because the world is distracted and people are too busy wondering if they're gonna live or die, and who gives a shit about my country anyway? my mum told me to tell my friends and explain to them what's happening and that we are the victims in this war because azerbaijan is spreading lies and people are believing their lies and i told her, what good is that going to do? do you think anyone's going to come to our aid? is russia going to help us? is america? is england? erdogan said they will finish what their ancestors started, and he means genocide. he means ethnic cleansing. he means to massacre every last one of us. and in doing so admitted to the very same thing turkey has spent 105 years denying. i don't know who to tell and what good telling people will do because we're a small, insignificant country, and we have nothing to offer to the people in power, the handful who rule the world. so i sit here with my pain and i feel helpless. i know there's twitter threads and links to petitions and people being urged to contact their senators, and sorry if im being pessimistic, but azerbaijan has been attacking us for the last 22 years, and though we defend ourselves, we can't do anything to stop them. they've violated ceasefires (and geneva conventions) multiple times. i don't think they'll rest until every last one of us is dead.
we just want peace. we just want to live peacefully. we're not asking for a lot here.
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I just finished ep 52! Haha I actually had to take a break from watching bc the romantic tension without any sign of hope leading up to this episode was too much! I looked up in wiki when they end up together for real (I know spoiling for myself but I just couldn't cope) and its so faaaaaar so I'm glad to hear it develops their relationship more throughout despite that! And that kagome owns her powers! And doesn't just keep them from each other forever and toy with my poor heart...
forgive me for more inuyasha but its basically the witcher in a demon-haunted japan + ROMANCE *inuyasha spoilers*
kagome is so fucking powerful here. this show is like if jaskier was given the full protagonist treatment that he DESERVES. i love my dark avenging goddesses of rage, kikyo and yennefer, but something about when the character with the least strength, fighting skills, special knowledge, etc, fully leans into their compassion, openness, and it becomes this miraculous super power that none of the damaged, brooding, overtly powerful characters expect and are so powerless in the face of and really deeply deeply needed.
i guess because kagome is a woman and inuyasha is a man (ahem, half-demon dog boy?) the romance can be more than subtext? le sigh.
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bath scene pining analysis part 2
SO
as we can clearly see geralt gets snappy or distant with jaskier everytime jaskier is going on and on about the women he's been with, the women he wants to be with, the men who want to kill him for the women he's been with ...
this is the face of a man pushed past all reasonable limits for patience and restraint by his sexy & oblivious friend, while jaskier is just -
geralt: ALKJDJLADSLKJDFSJLDASM
geralt: am i a joke to you
jaskier: TRA LA LA ANYWAY SEXY LADIESSSSSS
the amount of frustration and aggravation geralt is experiencing is palpable. for just going to a banquet? when he could just walk away? it's implicit that he's agreed to do this for jaskier, so why is he so glarey? (*asks innocently*) geralt doesn't seem like someone who does something he doesn't want to do, but he acts like something he's agreed to do has him practically coming apart with rage! whatever could the reason be??
jaskier: *hand on shoulder*
geralt: *screams internally*
is it any wonder then, after i presume is years of this bullshit for geralt, that he finally breaks down and says:
geralt is like UGH. finally. maybe that came out a little harsh but i don't know how else to say it. you don't stop talking about sex with all these women but then the way you put your hand on my fucking arm while i'm fucking naked in a bath -
that geralt face is either "WHAT the FUCK" or is so confused and trying to work how jaskier could even be trying to justify that -
NO. NO I DO NOT LET STRANGERS RUB CHAMOMILE ONTO MY LOVELY BOTTOM JASKIER. AND I DON'T LET MY PLATONIC PALS DO IT EITHER.
DO YOU GET IT
DO YOU FUCKING GET IT
I don't think he gets it.
-
And finally, let's just take a moment to enjoy how pliant Geralt is for Jaskier, he just nimbly lifts his cups out of Geralt's hand and Geralt, super strong, mutant powered Geralt, is just like DAMN foiled again.
stay tuned for next episode: could jaskier's obsession with bedding women be over compensation for HIS secret pining??????
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please accept this humble geraskier bath scene analysis:
do you ever notice that most of the time in the episodes 2-5 that geralt acts grumpy with jaskier, its when jaskier is going OOOOOON about beautiful ladies and maidens he wants to see or has been with??
that feel when your beautiful, slutty friend goes on and on about all the women they've slept with/are going to sleep with and you're just sitting in your bath trying not to be so so gay for them (speaking from experience, i remember i would come back from showering in my uni dorm to find my best friend lying in my bed and she'd demand to cuddle me while i was in just a towel and talk about her boyfriend while i was just like "... this is ... fine ...")
(did you mean exasperated af face, jaskier?)
i mean, in the djinn episode, where geralt goes from 0 to grumpy snowman 100 in the first minute, how does jaskier announce his presence after supposedly not seeing geralt for months or years?
back to episode 4, when geralt had just come from fighting the selkiemore, while he doesn't *look* to happy (ahaha geralt <3) he doesn't seem to have any problem standing around while jaskier prances around him and rambles away
can we agree that he is definitely staring here?
and he doesn't really seem to be going anywhere while jaskier is chattering at him at the bar ...
to me that face says: oh, a cornucopia of earlthy delights, y'say? *interested hmm*
he seems content in his quiet, crotchety way to clean selkiemore guts off his hands and sword while listening to jaskier... UNTIL:
that feel when your beautiful, slutty friend keeps doing their best to put you into situations for you to pick up women, just like them, when you have no interest in doing that and they just seem to have NO CLUE and you just adljadlsfjasldjdfsj
put every ounce of your self into acting like you totally don't care at all
but then you still do whatever they ask because fuck
ok i can only put 10 images in a post, so stay tuned for further bath time analysis of geralt and jaskier as gay, closeted, in love with each other, but hiding it, because they're idiots.
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anyone else have a head canon that geralt and mousesack used to date?
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sometimes my cat will come and lie on my arms or hands when i'm in my bed when she wants attention, but will give me these angry meows if i try to touch her or if i try to lift my hand, she will hold it down with her paws and give me a wtf meow, or when she's trying to get comfortable and settle down for a nap she'll just be YELLING crankily while she kneads the soft blanket.
and i just imagine geralt would be like that ... jaskier would be lying in their bed writing notes for songs and geralt would come and lie down on top of his arms glaring at him grumpily to maintain his Tough Guy(tm) image and if jaskier tries to move his hands to touch him he snaps at him to stop that.
geralt: *curled around jaskier with his head on top of jaskier's hands*
geralt: i am very dangerous
jaskier: yes
jaskier: *kisses on forehead*
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I had so much fun with this outfit generator
my friend just asked me for fashion advice and i sent her 3 links to âthings women love to wear that men hateâ articles. i hope iâve done my service well.
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more me and & my cat as geralt & jaskier:
when my cat reaches up to dig her claws into my arm chair and then gets her claws stuck and then just makes the rest of her body go limp to put all her weight against it and the claw still doesnât come out and then she emits this horrible sad cry while she just hangs there limply, i know i am the geralt in the relationship.Â
i imagine jaskier would run flippantly into precarious situations and geralt would observe this and be like *raised eyebrows* âok ... but donât come crying to me ...â and then everytime jaskier gets into trouble and does the trembly panicked meow geralt throws everything to the side and comes sprinting over to jaskier and picks him up by his armpits to free his little paws and then cradles jaskier to him and scolds him gently âwhy did you do that!! do you know what it does to me when you make that sound!! please never make that sound again!! i love you so much!!â and jaskier rolls his eyes and lets himself be held for a little bit and then is like âok, geralt, put my down now...â (and then goes to scratch the chair again)Â
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