killm3pls

[killm3pls]

im down almost 30lbs :)

[killm3pls]

next time i get some money im gonna buy my own scale. i hate not knowing how much i weigh.

[killm3pls]

ive lost 4 pounds since the last time i weighed myself :)

[killm3pls]

i went to the doctor today and ive lost 10 pounds since my last appointment which was a few months ago. not nearly enough but at least i didnt gain.

#prooana #thin #skinny #ana #ed

[killm3pls]

i havent eaten since dinner two days ago. im scared to eat anything. i feel like as soon as i eat im gonna gain. i never wanna eat again.

#ana #ed #thinspo

[killm3pls]

im embarrassed to even think about food infront of anyone now. anytime i do eat i wont do it infront of people. this is starting to consume my life.

#ana #thinspo #ed

[killm3pls]

Pros and cons of being a fat anorexic

Pros: no one notices you’re slowly killing yourself

Cons: no one notices you’re slowly killing yourself

:,)

[killm3pls]

Dear me,

Fucking put down the goddamn fork.

[killm3pls]

why i want to lose weight

🌻 i have to use less product for my body since i don’t have to smear it over so much fat

🌻 i want to be able to look myself in the mirror naked without turning away in disgust

🌻 i wanna be able to eat food without thinking about everyone around me judging me

🌻 my parents will stop telling me that in order to be happy later in life i’ll need to be skinny, because nobody really likes fat girls

🌻 to be able to rock crop tops, bralettes, skirts, short dresses and high heels (and everything that wont look any nice on me now)

🌻 to not feel any shame when walking into a fast food chain or any place where they serve food

🌻so i’ll be able to resume ballet and look like a goddess while dancing

🌻 to not feel my fat jiggle when i move

🌻to feel comfortable with people taking a picture of me

🌻so i can go into the gym without feeling the judging stares wondering why a beached whale is here and not at mcdonald’s

🌻 to feel confident going to the beach

🌻 to be able to fit in clothing from the children’s section

🌻 i won’t have to contour my face because my cheekbones will be poppin

🌻 so my jaw will be sharp enough to cut a man

🌻to make my parents proud

🌻 for my family to not feel any shame in being related to me

🌻 for the happiness

🌻 for the satisfaction of reaching my uwg

🌻 for me

[killm3pls]

crying every night because i hate the way i look. laying on the bed thinking about how much space on the bed im taking up. hating myself for eating even the slightest bit.

[killm3pls]

Only reblog this if you can and will lose the weight. No excuses. You are in control.

[killm3pls]

every time i eat i feel like a failure. i am constantly thinking about my weight. i cant believe i let it get this bad.

[killm3pls]

THINSPO PLAYLIST

So I made a playlist with ED related songs and just other stuff that makes restriction easier for me. So here’s the link if anyone is interested!! Also it’s very discreet, if you are listen to it on spotify no one should think twice about it. Enjoy!

spotify:playlist:6CANIJTlYwrB2pcIeHFZq9

[killm3pls]

[killm3pls]

Tik tok .. I-

[killm3pls]

It be like that😪

[killm3pls]

what i want for myself ♡

- getting out of bed and not hating the way it creaks with my weight

- walking and not hating the weight of my arms at my sides, the way my thighs rub together

- looking someone in the eye and being unafraid of what they see

- interlacing my fingers and crossing my legs easily

- not worry about my double chin whenever I yawn or lean forward

- eat in public without worrying that people are thinking “no wonder she’s fat”

- be confident enough to wear short sleeves and shorts

- be able to fit in my old clothes

- learn to like clothes shopping again

- not be humiliated when p.e. class does bmi

- hear “you’re beautiful” and believe it

- stop hating mirrors

- stop hating myself (maybe not love, but it’s enough for me)

feel free to add your own ♡