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kayla-turpin · 4 years
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My Favourite Articles of 2019
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Normally, I try to post this as the year is careening to the end, but 2019 was a bit different and I am posting this a month late. I started 2019 with the New Years Resolution to read an article a day. Part of the motivation was to break the habit of mindlessly scrolling Reddit right before bed and be more intentional with my reading habits. The other part was just to see if I could stick to a daily habit. It seemed low-stakes - I already enjoy consuming stories in the longform format and I knew it would take up a marginal slice of time in my day.I didn’t set out with any specific rules, but some did form as the year progressed:
I did not need to limit myself to articles that came out this year - I could delve into the archives and find articles that peaked my interest depending on the mood I was in.
Articles should generally be considered journalistic in nature, but there was no particular length. I generally tried to aim for anything over 10 minutes. I would say the average read time was about 20-25 minutes.
I could read at any point of the day. I occasionally read in the morning, but I would say 90% of the time I read at night.
For tracking purposes, I would use Pocket. As a result, most printed articles went unread.
I am happy to report that I read. I read every single day. Some days were harder than others: I definitely remember one night coming home from the bar and trying to focus on a Zadie Smith article about Graham Greene while the ceiling started to spin.  Or moving into my new home and squinting into the light of my phone on a mattress on the floor, no internet and surrounded by towers of boxes. I read quietly to myself the evening follow my uncle’s funeral.  I read surrounded by sleeping colleagues after a night out in Denver. I read in coffee shops, on planes, next to the river, on long car rides, on my sister’s pull-out, but mostly from my bed. I read for days on multiple subjects, largely determined by whatever rabbit hole I had fallen into - Chernobyl, MH370, Dirty John, adult friendships, self-help columns, spooky houses, and wacky science discoveries. I read a lot of true crime. I would sometimes take the opportunity to stay abreast on current events.
This goal itself wasn’t revolutionary or life-changing - but I am mostly proud of the fact that I was able to maintain the discipline to do it every day. This year, I am going to maintain the same trajectory but shift over to books with 1-2 days of dedicated time for longform.
Anyway, without further ado, here are some articles I loved* this year!
10. I Accidentally Uncovered a Nationwide Scam on AirBnB - Allie Conti (Vice)
I would be remiss if I didn’t include this article for the sole reason that my colleagues and I were scammed by the same scam! Not entirely, since we SSDGS (stayed sexy and didn’t get scammed), but we initially booked with the exact same fake listing. 
The bad news, which went unstated, was that I had unknowingly stumbled into a nationwide web of deception that appeared to span eight cities and nearly 100 property listings—an undetected scam created by some person or organization that had figured out just how easy it is to exploit Airbnb’s poorly written rules in order to collect thousands of dollars through phony listings, fake reviews, and, when necessary, intimidation.
9. The Tinder Swindler - Natalie Remøe Hansen, Kristoffer Kumar, Erlend Ofte Arntsen (VG)
The UX design of longform articles has vastly improved and this article takes full of advantage – I’d suggest reading it for the interactivity alone. Also, I am already sensing a rhythm to this list, one of true crime and elaborate schemes and unsuspecting rubes.
8. Worked at Vice Then Went to Jail - Kate Knibbs (The Ringer)
This article is scattered with a bunch of ‘six degrees of separation’ vibes from people quoted in the article to the geographical snapshot of the Vice office and the borders of Liberty Village and Parkdale. It’s weird thinking that this story was developing blocks away from where I was binge-watching Scandal and eating muffins from The Abbott. 
Slava says he wound up in touch with people who were in touch with people who, somewhere along the line, ran a transnational drug trafficking ring organized enough to move humans who smuggled millions of dollars’ worth of product around the globe because he was sick of writing about Canadian music. “I really exhausted the pipeline of potential content,” he said. He’d noticed other writers in the Canadian office get praised for daring reporting, particularly one coworker who’d managed to get a source within ISIS. Pivoting to crime writing sounded exciting.”
7. The Fisherman’s Secret - Giuseppe Pennisi (San Francisco Chronicle)
The deep sea is deeply fa-sea-nating. Ok, that was nau-sea-ating. Ok, I’ll stop. In any case, this article reads like a contemporary treasure hunt. Did you know you like learning about maritime law? 
Well, you do now.Joe was about to learn this for himself. It was the biggest secret he had ever needed to keep. So big that he was compelled to just blurt it out. So big it could put his family in danger. And it felt like destiny. He’d come to know it only because of the particular way he fished, the same way his father had, and his grandfather — trawling the ocean floor.He had spent his life on the water, yet when it came to treasure, he was a rank amateur. But he knew something the experts didn’t.Joe knew, within a tiny circle of the Pacific, where a treasure might be.
6. What Really Happened to Malaysia’s Missing Airplane - William Langeweische (The Atlantic)
We will likely never know the answer to this – but this theoretical account, at least, feels close to the truth. 
Eleven minutes later, as the airplane closed in on a waypoint near the start of Vietnamese air-traffic jurisdiction, the controller at Kuala Lumpur Center radioed, “Malaysian three-seven-zero, contact Ho Chi Minh one-two-zero-decimal-nine. Good night.” Zaharie answered, “Good night. Malaysian three-seven-zero.” He did not read back the frequency, as he should have, but otherwise the transmission sounded normal. It was the last the world heard from MH370. The pilots never checked in with Ho Chi Minh or answered any of the subsequent attempts to raise them.
5. The Strange Life and Mysterious Death of a Virtuoso Coder - Brendan I. Koener (Wired)
Despite the tragic turn-of-events elucidated in the title, the article is an interesting foray into the life of an enigmatic individual with a raw talent in a language I know little about (despite operating professionally in tech space).
There were occasions, however, when Haas would temporarily shake off the druggy haze and dazzle with his brilliance. Mark Yannitell recalls that Haas figured out how to dramatically improve an open source video encoder so that it could crunch multimegabyte files in a matter of minutes rather than hours. Yannitell urged his friend to capitalize on his achievement, but Haas hemmed and hawed before dropping the project altogether.“He was like Cypher from The Matrix—y'know, ‘You see code, but I see brunettes and redheads,’ ” Yannitell says. “But when he reached that genius moment, when he was on the cusp of some big idea that could maybe change the world, he got nervous.”
4. The Most Gullible Man in Cambridge - Kera Bolonik (The Cut)
I guffawed all the way through this article. Be sure to read the follow-up, because the ride doesn’t stop.
That could help explain why warning signs that might have been obvious to many managed to elude a man who teaches a Harvard Law class on “Judgment and Decision-Making,” which analyzes those elements of human nature that allow us to delude ourselves and make terrible decisions. “Of course, now I feel slightly ridiculous teaching it,” Hay told me, “given how easily I let myself be taken advantage of.”
3. The Stolen Kids of Sarah Lawrence - Ezra Marcus (The Cut)
Another unbelievable story that operates in the shadow of the ivory tower. This story is unsettling, with elements of Dirty John in the methodically-manipulative-yet-charsmatic nature of Larry Ray, the father of one of the students living in the dorm.
Larry’s core program of personal transformation happened on nights they stayed in. After a late dinner, everyone would gather in the living room for a marathon discussion in which the group interrogated one person about anything and everything. Usually, the person being questioned had landed in the hot seat because he or she had done something Larry didn’t like. Trivial mistakes, such as scratching a pan or breaking a plate, were considered intentional manifestations of childhood trauma. The group session’s purpose, Larry explained, was to reveal deep personal truths.
2. Chaos at the Top of the World - Joshua Hammer (GQ)
There will always be places on this earth, especially spaces that push the boundaries of the extreme, that will always have a magical quality. The deep recesses of the ocean, the cusp of the Kármán line, the long stretch of polar landscape. Stories of Everest are no exception, as they always feel heroic and adventurous. This article examines the ever-growing popularity and the danger that ensues.
He swiftly identified the problem: a woman in a red climbing suit adorned with the emblems of a Chinese mountaineering group perched just before the drop-off, unwilling to go forward. The woman's two Sherpa guides were firmly encouraging her to descend the ladder, but she remained paralyzed in apparent fear. For those in the logjam behind her, there was no going around. Everybody was stuck, freezing in the storm.
1. Gimme Shelter - Wes Enzinna (Harper’s)
It goes without saying as I listed it as #1, but this was my favourite read by a long-shot. Longform journalism can be riveting due to the subject matter alone, but can also be so well-written that even describing the confines of a small shack in an unremarkable backyard in Oakland can make your chest feel heavy. This article contained an unexpected callback – I happened to read an article that was tangentially related a couple of years ago that filled in some of the colour. I recommend starting there.
It rained. First for days, then for weeks. The yard filled up with a quarter foot of water, as if somewhere a levee had collapsed, and the heads of coyote mint and monkey flower became lily pads. At night, ghosts of mist rose from the pools, and inside my shack I could see my breath, even with my space heater turned to ten. The power flickered. To use the toilet or kitchen in Erik’s house I dashed through the mud, high-stepping, and returned to the shack soaked and shivering. There was nowhere to sit or lie other than my mattress, so I spent most nights pupated in my sleeping bag, the zipper under my chin, the space heater tucked under the covers with me as I watched the rain fall outside and the waterline creep slowly up the walls.
Honourable mentions
(*I kept the Top 10 list to strictly articles from 2019, but here’s some highlights from the temporal smorgasbord of content available)
Made me feel a little homesick for the streets of Toronto: The Woman Who Built Queen West
If you want to ball your eyes out: The Unthinkable Has Happened
Friends writing and doing cool things: Wonders and Wanders Along The Way
2 Spooky 4 U (Ghost edition): The Murder House
2 Spooky 4 U (Stalker edition): The Watcher
Calling Keith Morrison to come narrate this story immediately: The Body in Room 348
Fitbits aren’t just counting steps anymore: A Brutal Murder, a Wearable Witness, and an Unlikely Suspect
Never forget: When P!nk was Black
If you could get ASMR from reading words: David Chang’s Unified Theory of Deliciousness
Be still, my 1999 tween heart: ‘Cruel Intentions’ Oral History
I am actually obsessed with him, tho: Why Million of People Watch This Youtube Eat 50-year old Rations
A new (laughable) spin on remote work: My Life As a Robot
When music literally soundtracks important moments in your life: The Christmas Tape
The other side of that Aziz Ansari story: The Rise and Fall of Babe.net
Some expert level trolling: I Made My Shed the Top-Rated Restaurant on Trip Advisor
My dirty secret is my love for influencer drama: I Was Caroline Calloway
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kayla-turpin · 6 years
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Another year, another list of longform articles that were my, quote-unquote, jam!
In no way is this a definitive, objective list of The Best Articles™ that were released this year because god-knows any attempt at a year-end list from a locust of authority is a bit silly. However, if you ever wondered what cultural narratives struck my fancy this year, here they are:
10. FML: Why millennials are facing the scariest financial future of any generation since the Great Depression - Michael Hobbes//Huffington Post
Of all the triteness of Millennial think-pieces, this was by far my favourite - substantive dialogue with a mountain of factually diagnoses and (hey, as a millennial) some cool visual effects:
We often think of poverty in America as a pool, a fixed portion of the population that remains destitute for years. In fact, Krishna says, poverty is more like a lake, with streams flowing steadily in and out all the time. “The number of people in danger of becoming poor is far larger than the number of people who are actually poor,” he says.We’re all living in a state of permanent volatility. Between 1970 and 2002, the probability that a working-age American would unexpectedly lose at least half her family income more than doubled. And the danger is particularly severe for young people. In the 1970s, when the boomers were our age, young workers had a 24 percent chance of falling below the poverty line. By the 1990s, that had risen to 37 percent. And the numbers only seem to be getting worse. From 1979 to 2014, the poverty rate among young workers with only a high school diploma more than tripled, to 22 percent. “Millennials feel like they can lose everything at any time,” Hacker says. “And, increasingly, they can.”
9. She Didn't Want This Come Hell or High Water”: Inside Melania Trump's Secretive East Wing - Sarah Ellison//Vanity Fair Despite former political aspirations, all my knowledge about the White House, especially the East Wing, has come from Scandal. It is a fun exercise inserting Melania Trump into this fictional vision, especially with the stark reluctancy of a woman uninterested:
Friends say she is slowly warming to the job. But she has had to state so frequently that she is independent from her husband that it is hard not to see her as distancing herself from his positions, or even from him. That is not to say that she has ever taken any proactive stance against him. An immigrant herself, she never found a voice to stand up for the immigrants that Donald Trump was bashing. A First Lady has always been able to choose the cause that will occupy some of her working hours. For Michelle Obama, it was childhood obesity and girls’ education. For Laura Bush, it was literacy. (Stockard Channing’s First Lady, Dr. Abbey Bartlet, on The West Wing, volunteered in a clinic in an underprivileged neighborhood in Washington, D.C., giving vaccinations.) For Melania Trump, the cause of choice is—improbably—cyberbullying. It has become almost too easy to point out the irony, given her husband’s habit of using Twitter to bully not only political opponents but also members of his own party and even his own Cabinet. Cyberbullying cannot have been Donald Trump’s idea. It’s unlikely but possible that she chose the cause by way of trolling her own husband. (“Wouldn’t that be great?” one former Obama adviser commented.)
8. Greta Gerwig’s Radical Confidence - Christine Smallwood//New York Times
It seems a bit trite to include an article that revolves solely around a single celebrity individual - but it has all my favourite trappings of a good portraiture or human study: Strong, bad-add woman doing cool, creative things that is spoke about in an almost lyrical way. Last year was Kesha, this year is Greta. Also, Lady Bird was one of my favourite films of the year and because I don’t normally do a Best Of of film, this is the next best thing:
After breakfast, while we were power-walking through the West Village, I mentioned that I had seen that she was doing a voice part in Wes Anderson’s forthcoming animated movie, “Isle of Dogs.” She remarked that Anderson’s previous animated film, “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” isn’t “really” about animals. “It’s not?” I said, which prompted the beginnings of an earnest analysis, until I cut her off to explain that I had been kidding. “Ohhhhh,” she said. “I don’t understand sarcasm. I take it seriously!” Her T’s are shiny and bright, like the ringing of a hand bell.
7. Twelve Second of Gunfire - John Woodrow Cox//Washington Post
I am aware that a fascination with tragedy can become borderline perverse so I try to be conscious of towing that line. I also think good journalism allows human narratives around tragedy unfold in such a way that provokes empathy rather than sensationalism. This article is of the former and delicately provides insight into the aftermath of a school shooting among the students at Townville Elementary:
One day, Siena announced to her mother, Marylea, that she couldn’t go to summer camp anymore: “They don’t have a police officer.”
Like many of her classmates, loud, unexpected sounds petrified her. Once, outside a Publix, a car backfired, and she dropped to the ground before dashing inside. Another time, after a balloon popped at a school dance, the entire gymnasium went silent as the principal rushed to turn the lights on. Fredericks later banned balloons at the spring festival. “Noises are different now,” she said.
6. The House on the Corner - Lane DeGregory//Tampa Bay Times
This article leads with “what would drive a man to shoot 17 times?” which immediately begins to swivel that moral compass. The answer seems easy, until it’s not. The article touches on social class, poverty, ownership, and the elusive need to protect one’s own. It is structured as an interview which gives it an interesting ‘he said/she said’ perspective - needless to say, I didn’t come out with a clear answer.
ROY: He pulled a gun on me twice, come up in my face showing me, “This gun right here I just bought.” He always used to make comments about my house not having nowhere to hide. He’d knock on my window 2 o’clock in the morning 'cause he see me sitting on my bed watching TV, just to let me know like, “I see you sitting right there in front of the window.”
QUARLES: We never had a gun in D.C. Never needed one. But now it’s time to do something. The police aren’t going to protect you. You gotta protect yourself. That’s why I bought the gun.
5. The Last of the Iron Lungs - Jennings Brown//Gizmodo
This was a fascinating read on a very tiny sub-sect of the population that technology and healthcare forgot. I think especially in the wake of the anti-vaccination narratives that seem to persist, it is a reminder of the potential health catastrophes that might re-emerge. There is also a warm undertone of friendship that emerges in this article that was pleasantly surprising - many of the individuals in iron lungs rely on the goodness of those who have the skillset to maintain an object that has no simple parts that can be ordered or any warranty to rely on.
When I met with the Randolphs, Mark gave me photocopies of old service manuals and operating instructions. He filled me in on little-known history about the Emerson iron lung and its inventor, whom they met at a Post-Polio convention. I realized what each of these iron lung users have in common are the aid of generous, mechanically skilled friends and family. And that’s probably the main reason they’ve been able to live long and full lives, despite the hardships and anxieties of depending on aging machinery to survive.
4. The Unimaginable, Infamous Case of Pam Hupp - Jeannette Cooperman/St. Louis Magazine
Honestly, considering how much true crime I consume (don’t look through my browser history), I am surprised more true crime longform articles didn’t make it onto this last. All things considered, I am glad it was this one. Or you should be glad it was this one, as it’s a wild ride that is still ongoing.
Schwartz puzzled it out: If you went out of your way to drive your friend home just so she could get there a few hours earlier because she needed sleep so badly, why would you bother her by calling when you were just a few miles from her house? And if she didn’t answer your call, and you knew she was exhausted by chemo and coming down with a cold, wouldn’t you just think she wanted to sleep?
He asked Russ about this Pam Hupp person.
“The last six months to a year, they started hanging out,” Russ said. “It just kind of gradually—once she was diagnosed with cancer, a lot of people wanted to be with her. I never had a problem with Pam personally. She was easy to talk to. But I could name half a dozen other people Betsy was closer to.”
3. The War To Sell You A Mattress Is An Internet Nightmare - David Zax//Fast Company
I know you’re thinking how interesting an article about mattresses actually could be - I was thinking the same when I read it the first time. However, it was down-right captivating and managed to ping a bunch of my interests: blogging, e-commerce, side hustles, and internet drama. So much drama. A few weeks ago when I was out with friends we began reciting common podcast advertisements as a lark - it was inevitable that Casper and Endy came up. I think that says something - for something as mundane as mattress shopping to enter the collective consciousness, there has got to be something interesting happening beneath the surface. Turns out, there is.
It was possible that Derek genuinely loved the Leesa above all other mattresses; he’d reviewed it favorably even before Casper cut off his payments. But many people I spoke to suggested that other things were possible, too. If most mattress companies paid around $50 per commission, other companies paid two or three times that, even as much as $250. In one email I saw, an unscrupulous mattress reviewer said companies regularly approached him offering to “buy” top placement on his site; so long as the reviewer liked the mattress, he’d happily negotiate a price. “Honestly, the FTC has to step in at some point and make review sites divulge what they are paid for each bed or brand,” Nest Bedding’s Joe Alexander, told me. “This industry is a freight train out of control.”
2. Trapped: The Grenfell Tower Story - Tom Lamont//GQ
This article was near visceral - I actually think I held back tears at multiple points. From the perspective of multiple people on different floors, all experiencing the same impending fire yet very different stories.
The fire neared their corner of the building. Talabi fastened the end of his knotted bedsheets inside the bedroom, fed the remainder out the open window, and then climbed out after it. As he hung on the outside of Grenfell Tower, his fingers curled around the frame of his bedroom window, he wasn't willing, yet, to test the strength of the sheets. Instead Talabi told Rosemary to pass out their daughter. But their daughter, crying and struggling, would not let herself be passed. She pushed herself away from the window frame, and Talabi in this moment saw that his plan as it was—to descend holding the bedsheets in one hand, his daughter in the other—was not going to work. As his belief in the plan failed, so did his strength. He realized he could not pull himself back inside. He kicked for a foothold beneath him, but the building's paneling was too slippery and his feet wouldn't stick. He stopped kicking. He clung to the window frame.
1. Deliverance from 27,000 Feet - John Branch//New York Times
This article snuck in at the end of the year but quickly rose to the top of my personal Best Of - two mountain climbers die at the top of Everest. A normal occurrence, as it goes, but it is rare for these bodies to be retrieved even when still alive let alone after death. This article is captivating in writing alone, but it is is also paired with photo and video of the victim’s rescue - before and after their death. 
The first photographs arrived on Tuesday, May 16. Debasish Ghosh received one on his phone at 6:17 that evening while sitting at his hotel. Numbly, he stared at it, tugging the edges with his fingertips to zoom in for a better look. He sent the message to his son and to Chandana at home in Kolkata. He also sent it to Sunita Hazra, the only survivor among the four Indians in the expedition the year before.
The photo showed a body in a faded yellow snowsuit bent like a horseshoe and half-buried in snow. It looked like something archaeologists were midway through excavating. There was no face visible, but the boots and the gear matched what Ghosh was wearing a year before. The pattern of the yellow-and-black snowsuit matched what Sunita had in her closet at home, the one she bought alongside Ghosh at a little shop in Kathmandu.
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kayla-turpin · 7 years
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Playlist: Started From The Autumn
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kayla-turpin · 7 years
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Playlist: 120 Days of Autumn
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kayla-turpin · 8 years
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Favourite Reads of 2015
The Moment I Became a Novelist - Haruki Murakami//Lit Hub
This piece made me realize that I have a tendency to romanticize baseball with a complete disregard to the actual appreciation of it as a sport. Give me sunsets and camaraderie and John Fogerty lyrics and the rural idyllic!
“I think Hiroshima’s starting pitcher that day was Yoshiro Sotokoba. Yakult countered with Takeshi Yasuda. In the bottom of the first inning, Hilton slammed Sotokoba’s first pitch into left field for a clean double. The satisfying crack when the bat met the ball resounded throughout Jingu Stadium. Scattered applause rose around me. In that instant, for no reason and on no grounds whatsoever, the thought suddenly struck me: I think I can write a novel.”
The Really Big One - Kathryn Schulz//The New Yorker
Did you know there is an earthquake that will happen in the near-future that will destroy the Pacific Northwest? A chilling, necessary read. 
“Soon after that shaking begins, the electrical grid will fail, likely everywhere west of the Cascades and possibly well beyond. If it happens at night, the ensuing catastrophe will unfold in darkness. In theory, those who are at home when it hits should be safest; it is easy and relatively inexpensive to seismically safeguard a private dwelling. But, lulled into nonchalance by their seemingly benign environment, most people in the Pacific Northwest have not done so. That nonchalance will shatter instantly. So will everything made of glass. Anything indoors and unsecured will lurch across the floor or come crashing down: bookshelves, lamps, computers, cannisters of flour in the pantry. Refrigerators will walk out of kitchens, unplugging themselves and toppling over. Water heaters will fall and smash interior gas lines. Houses that are not bolted to their foundations will slide off—or, rather, they will stay put, obeying inertia, while the foundations, together with the rest of the Northwest, jolt westward. Unmoored on the undulating ground, the homes will begin to collapse.”
Taylor Swift on “Bad Blood”, Kanye West, and How People Interpret Her Lyrics - Chuck Klosterman//GQ
My girl T-Swift and my boy Chuck, together, at last. 
“Even within the most high-minded considerations of Swift’s music, there is inevitably some analysis (or speculation) about her personal life. She’s an utterly credible musician who is consumed as a tabloid personality. Very often (and not without justification), that binary is attributed to ingrained biases against female performers. But it’s more complicated than that. Swift writes about her life so directly that the listener is forced to think about her persona in order to fully appreciate what she’s doing creatively. This is her greatest power: an ability to combine her art and her life so profoundly that both spheres become more interesting to everyone, regardless of their emotional investment in either.
Swift clearly knows this is happening. But she can’t directly admit it, because it’s the kind of thing that only works when it seems accidental. She’s careful how she describes the process, because you don’t become who she is by describing things carelessly.”
Trash Food - Chris Offutt//Oxford American
I tend to identify as ‘mixed-class’ and, as a result, find myself acutely attuned to the socioeconomic underpinnings of cultural markers.  Or, rather, the omission of class narratives when we talk about culture. Offtutt hits the intersectional nail on the head when discussing food and class.
“Economic status dictates class and diet. We arrange food in a hierarchy based on who originally ate it until we reach mullet, gar, possum, and squirrel—the diet of the poor. The food is called trash, and then the people are. When the white elite take an interest in the food poor people eat, the price goes up. The result is a cost that prohibits poor families from eating the very food they’ve been condemned for eating. It happened with salmon and tuna years ago. When I was a kid and money was tight, my mother mixed a can of tuna with pasta and vegetables. Our family of six ate it for two days. Gone are the days of subsisting on cheap fish patties at the end of the month. The status of the food rose but not the people. They just had less to eat.”
Ask Polly: How Do I Stop Being So Obsessed With My Boyfriend - Heather Havrilesky/NYMag
A non-conventional selection as it is not exactly longform, but don’t be dissuaded by the fact that it is an advice column. I found myself coming back to Havrilesky’s words at multiple points this year when I needed some sisterly guidance. 
“But on weekend mornings, when I wasn't taking the bus to my terrible job, he would sleep until noon and I would get up and clean our apartment, and then I'd put on my Rollerblades and I would skate (badly!) out to the Marina Green. (Yes, this was the '90s, why do you ask?) As I Rollerbladed, I'd imagine myself getting better and better at it until I was like a figure skater on Rollerblades, gorgeous and graceful and awe-inspiring. Someone who could skate that well would never get left behind. My boyfriend would wake up and walk out toward the ocean and see me, wind in my hair like a goddess, and he'd gasp and he'd say, "That's my girl."
But I was slow and nervous and eventually I'd get discouraged. So I'd sit on the grass and write in my journal, pages and pages about how sad I was.”
Stephen Curry is The Revolution - Benjamin Morris//FiveThirtyEight Sports
Stats & Basketball: A Love Story
“If the Warriors were to assign Curry even more shots, they would have to come from somewhere. If Curry can steal shots that are as good as or better than those his teammates would have taken, that’s pure gravy. But if we assume that the Warriors are already distributing their shots wisely, giving Curry more shots likely comes with a trade-off: To give Curry more shots would mean taking “better” shots away from his teammates. Moreover, Curry’s new shots are likely to be worse, on average, than the ones he is taking already (if they were better, he would probably already be taking them).
So if our hypothesis — that Curry should be taking more shots — is true, it would suggest that sometimes the Warriors should pass up a good shot for Curry to take a bad shot. So how good is Curry at bad shots?
Very, very good.”
The Man on The Operating Table - Andrew Quilty//Foreign Policy
I have always been fascinated by the sociological construction of space in situations of warfare; the idea that places can be considered “off-limits” in the face of what amounts to chaotic turmoil. In this case, the Kunduz Trauma Centre in Afghanistan.  A thought-provoking article on when international humanitarian law is breached. 
“Part of the roof started to fall in — one panel toppling directly onto Baynazar. But with his wrists still strapped to the movable arms of the surgical table, unconscious and completely immobile, there was little the staff could do to help him. Glass and debris were flying through the air, and Borrego Ginebra worried the oxygen tank in the room would explode if it were struck. The lights had gone out in the building. It was so dark that Safi, Borrego Ginebra, and the nurses couldn’t even see which way to run.Because his assistance wasn’t required, Haqq never made it into the operating room for Baynazar’s surgery; he had been scrubbing in the washroom with some nurses between procedures. The sound of the explosion was so loud it shook him. He was stunned, motionless — unable to react. Within moments, he heard another explosion, only nearer and louder this time.”
Living and Dying on AirBnB - Zak Stone//Medium
I won’t lie, I bawled my eyes out through most of this.
“I’ve put the picture up in my living room, along with some decorations and better furniture. I’ve invested in cleaning supplies, a fig tree, and succulents. I could earn an estimated $125 per night off my bed based on Airbnb prices at neighboring “historic buildings” in my “gentrifying neighborhood.” Were I to write my own Airbnb ad, I’d probably invite guests to:
Relax in the heart of Los Angeles in a turn-of-the-century building with hardwood floors, dreamy views, majestic sunlight, fresh breezes, and tons of plants! Unique amenities include Sonos Speakers, a Vitamix, a cold-pressed juicer for all you health nuts, souvenirs, and photos collected while traveling. (See the one of my parents? Weren’t they a cute couple?)
My home is your home. My things are your things. You can even borrow my clothes. Just be sure to avoid the blue sweatshirt with the bloodstains. It’s a token of my last Airbnb stay.”
American Horror Story: Cecil Hotel - Josh Dean//Medium
When I was at the tail-end of my California trip this summer, I was languishing a bit and decided to hop a city bus to the downtown core and visit the Last Bookstore on the recommendation of a friend. Already enthralled by the Elisa Lam mystery, I made a very half-hearted attempt at finding the Cecil Hotel before I became preoccupied with finding a public washroom. Needless to say, I read this piece months later and aside from it being extremely well-researched, I was struck by how unnerving it was that I had inadvertently traced her footsteps. Moreso, recognizing the tangible possibility that this could happen to anyone. 
“On the afternoon of January 31, Elisa Lam walked a few blocks to the Last Bookstore, where she bought books and records to take home as presents. “She was very outgoing, very lively, very friendly,” the bookstore’s manager Katie Orphan said a few days later. Lam was worried that her purchases would be too heavy to carry around on the rest of her trip. That evening, she was spotted in the lobby of the Cecil.
Then Elisa Lam vanished.”
ZPM Espresso and the Rage of the Jilted Crowdfunder - Gideon Lewis-Cross//New York Times
Having worked in the more banal forms of fundraising, I am interested in the type of innovation crowdfunding brings to the table. That said, what happens when the tables turn? What types of dilemmas arise when a Kickstarter fails to produce?
“The policy change has made things cleaner for Kickstarter when projects fail, but it arguably has complicated the creator-backer dynamic. If backers lack an absolute right to a product, and their legal options are limited, the policy only heightens their feeling of entitlement to full disclosure. “I long ago gave up on getting a machine, but I want my $250 of information,” Woodhouse told me. Backers feel they are part of an Internet community that has been not merely disillusioned but somehow also rendered unreal, and they get worked up to know how they were let down. The sense of broad collective purpose that makes any given Kickstarter campaign compelling is exactly what can make it, for backers and creators alike, especially dangerous.”
Politics and The New Machine - Jill Lepore//The New Yorker
Say what you will about NDP campaign strategy during the last federal election, but it would be an understatement to say that public opinion polls hurt us in the final stretch. Though a distinct examination of American politics, the points remain salient. Plus, it provides an informative history of polling with an emphasis on social science research, which delights my inner sociologist.
“Despite growing evidence of problems known as non-opinion, forced opinion, and exclusion bias, journalists only relied on Gallup-style polling more, not less, and they began, too, to do it themselves. In 1973, in “Precision Journalism,” Philip Meyer urged reporters to conduct their own surveys: “If your newspaper has a data-processing department, then it has key-punch machines and people to operate them.” Two years later, the Times and CBS released their first joint poll, and we’ve been off to the races ever since, notwithstanding the ongoing concerns raised by critics who point out, as has Gallup Poll’s former managing editor David Moore, that “media polls give us distorted readings of the electoral climate, manufacture a false public consensus on policy issues, and in the process undermine American democracy.” Polls don’t take the pulse of democracy; they raise it.”
American Deserter - Christopher Anderson//NYMag
I tend to jump into articles with an expectation of distance from the subject matter, so it is always a punch in the gut when it becomes suddenly personal. This article delves into the War Resister movement and the experience of AWOL soldiers in Canada. A section of the article discusses, in detail, a meeting at the Steelworkers Hall in Toronto - a space that has always been a bit of a touchstone in my political career. Furthermore, it discusses Robin Long, who was deported in 2008 and spent 15 months in military prison - a person I have hung out with a couple of times when I was at Laurentian.   
A few of the Canadian activists shifted uncomfortably in their seats. It was difficult to accept that, after years of fighting, this family was finally facing the prospect of leaving. Many of the activists were still hoping for a last-minute legal reprieve.
“It’s so hard,” someone said. “They don’t know if they’ll have to go.”
Robidoux sighed. “Well,” she said. “They have to plan like they do.”
As the conversation turned toward the logistics of surrendering at the border, I noticed the name COREY written in marker on the paper behind Robidoux. This was a reference to an Army deserter who had left the country a few days earlier to avoid deportation. But rather than surrender at the U.S. border, Corey Glass headed east, across the ocean. Even as the meeting in Toronto wrapped up and everyone filed down the street to Grossman’s Tavern, Glass was making his way down the canals of Holland on a sailboat with a broken mast. He still had no idea where he was going, or what legal options he had—but everyone in Canada was hoping he would find a safe harbor where he, and they, could live.
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kayla-turpin · 8 years
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Christmas on Film: Full House’s “Our Very First Christmas Show”; Or, Better Late Than..
I had good intentions at the beginning of December when I proposed a third year of writing self-indulgent bad reviews for bad Christmas movies. However, between a trip to my friend’s cottage, an annoying illness, an addiction to the television show Scandal, a demanding Fantasy Basketball team requiring constant vigilance, and general holiday-related chores, the reviews fell to the wayside. Not to mention a severe lack of snow which, not-so-surprisingly, has robbed me of Christmas spirit. Just kidding, that’s just my seasonal affective disorder.
So I figured, like Baby Jesus always used to say, better late than pregnant.
So now that you’ve forgiven me for justifiable procrastination, let’s jump into this, shall we?
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If you’ve known me for all of 5 minutes, you’ll know that I have a fervid soft spot for Full House. If you’ve known me for longer, well, I am sorry that I have subjected you to any binge-watching sessions, rapid use of Stephanie Tanner catchphrases in conversation, or poems about Uncle Jesse’s hair.
It only made sense that I would indulge myself in some TGIF-endorsed Christmas drivel in the key of Tanner.
Firstly, I have to commend the confidence of the showrunners for having the audacity to name this episode “Our Very First Christmas Show”. It is both entirely presumptuous and meta and for that reason I already love this episode.
Danny Tanner is filming the family getting ready and packing for the upcoming trip to Colorado for the first annual Tanner Family Christmas. Again! First annual? So presumptuous, much contradiction. The purpose is to eventually air this on Danny’s hit morning show, “Wake Up, San Francisco”, but as every single family member points out on camera, he is mostly doing this so he can write off the vacation for his taxes.
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My kindred spirit, Stephanie Tanner, is very worried that Santa won’t realize that she is in Colorado on Christmas morning so she decides to draw him a map to outline her route. It is not very clear how she ever intended to give Santa the map or if it is expected that he’ll just know that she made a map (andthushecouldprobablyfindherinColoradobutwhoamItoargue), but I have learned that there is no point in trying to analyze Child Santa Logic in film/television because it is never consistent and rarely makes sense. Either way, it is clear that the best part of the map is a drawing of a bird named Tony.
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After quelling Stephanie’s fears, albeit while exploiting them on camera, Danny herds the family to the airport so they can board the plane to Colorado. Inexplicably, Jesse’s parents are joining them on the trip even though they presumably will not know a single soul at the First Annual Tanner Family Christmas.
Of course, hilarity ensues in such closed quarters as a plane interior on a sound stage. Stephanie and DJ encounter a very rude man who is all but furious that DJ is sitting in the seat. Turns out DJ, Danny, and Very Rude Man were all assigned Seat 1B. Oh, brother! Clearly, they are flying Delta. The bumbling flight attendant offers two First Class seats which she swiftly gives to DJ and Stephanie. W2G!
In the meantime, Jesse’s parents are chiding him for not yet being married or having children even though at this point in the show he is 25. This initially seems like a strange conversation to have while boarding a plane except you quickly remember that they probably want the option of not having to fly to goddamn Colorado to spend time with another goddamn family. Like clockwork, Danny’s co-host Rebecca enters the cabin and Jesse gets all googly-eyed while his dad elbows him in the ribs. Jesse proposes a skiing rendezvous once they get to Colorado, but turns out Rebecca’s destination is Nebraska and this is just a layover. Strike One.
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After some predictably humorous remarks about the airline food, Danny continues filming and tries to encourage Michelle to smile for the camera. Instead, she uses this opportunity to rip the toupe off of the Very Rude Man’s head, mistaking it for a cat. Really, just totally fresh comedic gold.
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Shortly after, Bumbling Flight Attendant bums everyone out by saying they need to make an emergency landing because of heavy snowfall. I am not kidding, she actually says that.
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Now, I’ll give them the West Coast Pass, but that’s what you get for flying on December 24th. The Tanners and the rest of the flight are now grounded in the smallest airport ever on Christmas Eve and Stephanie is even more hysterical because now Santa definitely won’t find her.
DJ, having already spied on all her gifts, soothes Stephanie’s worries and tells her she is definitely getting the rollerskates she requested for Christmas. Danny, holding The Best Dad of The Year Award, swoops in and unravels all of DJ’s work by telling Stephanie she shouldn’t get her hopes up and that maybe Santa will find her “in a couple of days” and informs DJ that the airline lost their presents. 
Jesse’s Parents, now with nothing better to do on Christmas Eve, encourage Jesse to go and console a visibly annoyed Rebecca who can’t believe she won’t be able to enjoy Christmas dinner with her family. Actually, she’s more annoyed because this is her year for a drumstick. Even more so, she is sad she won’t see her cow. Jesse realizes he can’t compete with bovine love and quickly retreats . Strike two.
At this moment, Joey enters the room dressed as Santa to surprise Stephanie. Stephanie is all smiles as she realizes that Santa really can find her anywhere. However, Michelle waddles over and ruins her fun by announcing, “Ho Ho Joey”, ultimately throwing into question why she recognizes Joey as Santa but can’t distinguish a wig from a cat.
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Undeterred by his rejections from Rebecca, Jesse uses this opportunity to console a seriously bummed out airport by giving an inspiring speech on how everyone needs to cheer the hell up because Christmas is what you make of it - it’s where you are, but a feeling in our hearts - and you can fill any space with the Christmas spirit. See that coat rack over there? It’s now a coat rack-shaped Christmas tree! And that vending machine over there? Christmas dinner! See that luggage carousel? Well, that’s just a luggage carousel. And that sign advertising a taxi service? That’s a MAGICAL TRANSPORTATION DEVICE THAT WILL TAKE YOU TO THE LOCAL TRAVELODGE SO YOUR NIECES DON’T HAVE TO SPEND CHRISTMAS IN AN AIRPORT. Isn’t Danny using this trip as a tax write-off, anyway? Can’t the airline cover the costs?
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On Christmas morning, everyone wakes up in much better spirits, clearly from a combination of Uncle Jesse’s motivational speech and a trans fat-laced haze from the Cheeto-encrusted Mars Bars they had for Christmas dinner. DJ comments on the amazing job they did on the tree but, let’s be honest, it looks ugly as hell and like a pack of frat boys decorated it after a kegger:
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St. Nick appears again to wish Stephanie a Merry Christmas. Stephanie is bemused as she cannot believe that Joey would even pull this stunt again, but Joey taps her on the shoulder to show that it is definitely not him in the Santa suit. St. Nick snaps his fingers and all of a sudden their luggage arrives on the luggage belt spilling over with gifts that clearly did not even fit in the luggage in the first place. And as quickly as you can say “have mercy!” or “how rude!” or some other Full House catchphrase, Santa has disappeared into thin air! However, not until he leaves Stephanie a timely technological Christmas nugget on Very Rude Man’s Commodore Sixty-Macbook Air:
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Thoughts:
- This episode is full of the finest ugly Christmas sweaters. However, it took me half the episode to realize that they are not being worn ironically.
- Uncle Jesse does eventually get to kiss Rebecca under the mistletoe and though she appears to enjoy it she says that she can’t wait to do it again….next Christmas. Likely because she thinks it is totally weird that Jesse’s parents are hovering the entire time.
- For some reason, the song that they sing to Michelle to console her when she is upset is “The Girl From Ipanema”. Don’t watch this episode if you are not prepared to have this song stuck in your head for the entire day.
- Fact: When I was in San Francisco this summer I totally drove across the Golden Gate Bridge while listening to the Full House theme song and the time it took to drive over the bridge was the exact length of the song. That’s some crazy Illumanti shit.
Rating: 4 renditions of The Girl From Ipanema out of 8 drawings of a bird named Tony
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