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justforthehe11ofit · 3 years

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‘Until Death Do Us Part, Again.’ Julian Devorak x Reader

(Chapter 1: A Very Warm Welcome)

Now finished!

This is part of a multi-chapter fic, If you would like to read the rest you can read it on my AO3 page which is the same username as on here! Or click the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32643664

'His words warble as his emotions take hold, tears staining his cheeks while he grasps the apprentice tighter, "I will never let you go again, my love. I promise."' Continuing after the tale 'A Warm Welcome', Julian struggles to fight his doubts on whether a proposal while staying in Nevivon is a good idea, missing the opportunity in the hot springs and of course causing more trouble than he can handle (at least he asks for help this time).

A headcanon that I have inspired by the assumptions of others in which they thought Julian was going to propose during the hot springs scene, where he is given another opportunity eventually... not without creating problems for himself beforehand. That would be un-Julian like.

Word Count: 1,641

As soon as he mumbles the words, Portia incredulously glares down at Julian across the table, barely taller than him as she stands, while he shrinks into his chair. “Excuse me? Could you repeat that because I don’t think I heard you right.”

“I… didn’t do it?...” Leaning across the table with his hands joined and bunching up his shoulders, Julian plasters on an award winning pity grin, which of course Portia does not buy into.

“What do you mean ‘you didn’t do it’?” Nasally mocking his excuse.

“I-I just didn't, okay!” He drops his head into his hands, with an exasperated sigh and brows furrowed, “I wanted to but it was as if my hands didn’t want to cooperate and gave into my own nervousness, so I just didn’t do it.”

After returning from the hot springs, Julian and the apprentice had finished cleaning the remains of dinner, just chatting and enjoying each other’s company, until Portia had strolled in. As she was seeping with anticipation, Julian told Y/N he would join them soon for sleep, and so was left to be bombarded with questions about if he had gone through with what he had told Portia a few days before departing from Vesuvia.

Motioning her arms outward, Portia states “you know you had the perfect opportunity, right?”

“I know.” Mumbling the pitiful words into his hands, slumping further.

“You two had the whole place to yourselves AND on a night as beautiful as this! And you didn’t go for it?”

“I know!” Arms lying flat, exclaiming his sorrows into the dining table.

“I mean, how often does a perfect opportunity like that happen? Are you that thick in the head, Ilyushka!”

He raises his head to address her, “Yes, I know! Thank you Pasha, I get it!” Then presses his cheek to the smooth cloth covering. Taking a moment to calm the air, Julian reaches into his pocket and pulls out the ring he had bought a couple weeks prior to leaving, twirling it in his fingers.

He had spotted the red glint in a jeweller’s shop window on his way home from visiting the Palace, not the most flashy ring he’d ever seen but the tone of the ruby’s colour made him pause. When he had gotten home he couldn’t stop thinking about it for days, the image of it popping into his head from even a blush that would dust the cheeks of his partner. It’s strange to think about how something so small can hold such an overwhelming promise to it.

Passing a faint sigh, Portia pulls out a wooden chair across from Julian and sits, just watching the ring catch the glow of the gentle candle light. His mouth is set in a subtle frown and his silver eyes distant. “I’m sorry, I just supposed that when you had excused yourself it was because you were going to propose to them.” He still seems conflicted. She asks hesitantly, “do you... want to?”

Julian raises his head, “of course I do, I’ve never felt this way for anyone before. I’m over the moon for them!” He stops fiddling with the ring, placing it out in front of him and resting his chin against his palm, leaving the other to lie on the table, not saying more.

“And yet?” This makes him look away, thinking her question over.

“I think,” he pauses, “it may just be too soon to ask them. Considering everything that has happened between myself and Y/N, and even everyone else.” Julian’s gaze holds on the jewellery, and he shrugs, “I feel it may just be too much for them emotionally. We still have so much to process, it’s only been just over a month or two since things finally settled.” He sighs dejectedly, “even with this time of reprieve we’ve had, things have still been crazy with plans to rebuild the city, me running the clinic, Y/N running the shop and then traveling to Nevivon. It just still seems like it’s been so much to handle.” His eyebrows furrow and his frown becomes prominent, and he covers the ring with his hand, “I don’t even know if this is what they would want.”

Portia watches intently, mirroring Julian’s expression. She gently covers his hand with hers and leans over gaining his attention, his eyes widening, “trust me, they would say yes in a heartbeat. You two took down the Devil together for crying out loud! Give or take myself, Asra, Nadia, Maz and Nazali but that’s not my point,” she states as Julian raises a brow at her comment. “What I’m trying to say is that you two have already been to hell and back, so I wouldn’t doubt that if you went to them right now and asked, they wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.” Julian manages a smile at that, his cheeks reddening. The mood growing lighter at last. “I mean if we are being honest, you two have technically known each other for years, right?”

“Well, considering we did work together during the plague, you could say we have.” His smile falls a little, “although those memories are lost to them now.”

“And? Go make new ones with them then,” Portia lifts Julian’s hand, takes the ring and places it back, then she wraps his hand around it and holds it together, “we’re going to be here for a while yet so I’m sure there will be another chance to pop the question to Y/N and not have you sabotage yourself again.” She stands satisfied, leaving Julian to laugh at her jab.

“Hah, well I suppose you’re right.” He secures the ring back in his pocket, standing as well to head to bed.

“Of course I am, but pep-talks with you are draining so you got off lucky. Next time, I’ll kick the back of your knees and put you in a head-lock instead. It’s less effort and more effective.” With that, she heads out the door and to her allocated room, leaving Julian concerned but thankful.

He blows out the candle, allowing the moonlight to guide him to the room the Grandma’s gave to Y/N and himself to stay in while they are visiting Nevivon. Carefully, he turns the handle on the modest door and peeks in to make sure he doesn’t disturb his partner if they’re already asleep. And to his delighted surprise, they’re sitting against the head of the bed reading a book.

“What are you still doing awake, my dear? It’s late.” Despite telling them this, he’s glad he gets to say goodnight to them of course.

“Mmhmm, so I’m not allowed to stay up, but you are then?” A raised brow and a smirk grace their face as if mimicking Julian’s signature expression. Despite only living together for a relatively short amount of time, both have picked up mannerisms from the other. Bonding over little sayings that the apprentice may tell him where he now notices that he repeats in other conversations from time to time, while Y/N has been able to think of more quips to outwit Julian, and he is more than delighted when they can go into a back-and-forth teasing match until one of them ultimately loses. But it’s hardly ever a loss as one of them will usually glow red in the cheeks. Or that it will lead to other activities.

He grins at them.“Yes?”

They stare at him a little longer, until they break with a giggle. “Just come to bed already.”

Julian gingerly closes the door and strolls over to his side of the bed, sitting on the edge and tasks himself with getting his boots off and pyjamas on. “Portia seemed eager before I left.” Y/N states.

This makes Julian halt for a moment. Did they hear him and Portia talking in the kitchen? Were they too loud? Did Julian just ruin his chances at ever giving Y/N the ring while revealing his true feelings and now they want to leave him and never see him again? “Uhm, yeah. I suppose she was.”

“Is she okay?” Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

“She’s… fine. Yeah she just wanted to tell me about how there is going to be a special town event next week.” Julian has only managed to get his left boot off. Maybe if he made a run for it now he could steal a boat and travel to another city, take a new identity and start fresh to save himself from the grave he was currently digging for himself.

“Oh really! What’s the occasion?” Y/N now has their sole attention on this mystery event that Julian has sprung onto them and alarm bells are going off in his head wishing he had just said she was okay and called it a night.

He feels sweat running down his neck. “Uh, it’s a surprise.” Portia is going to kill him when he tells her about this. “Yes, a surprise event that they hold every now and then! I guess the town thinks that our arrival here is as good a time as any to hold it.” Finally Julian manages to get his other boot off and slip out of his clothes into his pajamas. Oh there is no going back now.

“That sounds amazing! I can’t wait for it, I’m sure it will be a night to remember.” Y/N snuffs out the candle with a whisper of magic while Julian slips into bed and opens his arms to embrace them as they settle their head on his chest, holding each other close and sharing a kiss goodnight.

Julian finishes by saying, “yes, a night to remember for sure.” He’s not sure if he will be able to rest well tonight.

He is very much in trouble.

#the arcana #the arcana julian #fanfic #yes I did stay up until 4am doing this #julian devorak x reader #the arcana x reader #portia devorak #the apprentice #julian devorak x mc

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justforthehe11ofit · 3 years

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‘I’m Sorry.’ Julian x Reader Angst

What if the Apprentice never went back for Julian after he left them at the docks?

(this is my first ever fanfic don’t judge too harshly please ;-;)

Word Count: 1,540

It’s been three days since Julian disappeared, seeming as if he was never here to begin with. Portia hasn’t been sleeping at all since we first realised he was missing, and I can’t tell whether Mazelinka is distressed or just used to him being gone most of the time as she has hardly said a word to anyone, nor left her house for that matter.

Asra has tried to help for my sake, but I can tell they don’t want to use their time to search for Julian, given their complicated history. Muriel of course hasn’t seen anything of him in the forest if by slim chance he had gotten lost.

Nadia has even had a few of her personal guards check throughout the entire city to see if they can find him, and the only piece of information they managed to find was that a man who has a stall by the south end market saw a tall figure with red hair walking along the docks as he was helping unload a ship.

Where could he have gone?

Walking down the streets to Mazelinka’s hut makes me feel so cold knowing Julian isn’t around, and it makes me anxious not knowing if he’s safe, even if we haven’t always been on the best of terms.

Eventually, I see the outline to the familiar unkempt home that had accepted me so warmly in what seems like a lifetime ago. In truth it had been about a month since I had stayed here overnight when Julian had saved me from bleeding out.

I step up to the door and knock gently against the wooden surface, taking the time while I wait for an answer to contemplate whether visiting her is a good idea or not. After a few moments of silence I gain the courage to try one more time and-

As it rasps open I hear “who do you think you are disturbing me at this time of night?-” Mazelinka’s eyes lift to mine, and what seemed to be irritation now switches to relief. “What are you doing out here in the cold, you silly child?” With my body frozen into knocking a second time, I’m dragged in by my sleeve once she realises she isn’t going to get an answer.

Mazelinka lets go and strolls off to some nearby candles and lights them, allowing me to see the room which looks just as cluttered since I was last here.

“So are you going to just waltz in and then keep quiet, or are you going to tell me why you’re here this late?” She rounds into her kitchen and pulls out a small cup while reaching for a bag of tea and setting a small pot of water on her stove.

“Oh, I was just...”

Why did I come here? I guess I was looking for some comfort from anyone other than my friends, since they were either breaking down over Julian’s disappearance or not seeming to care about it. I thought things would finally be okay, I see that is too much to ask for still.

Coming back to reality after a moment I answered her, “I just wanted to see how you were doing.” Plastering on my most award-winning smile.

“Near midnight?” replying without a beat.

I can’t lie to her even if I wanted to. With a defeated sigh, I drag myself over to her small table, “I just couldn’t sleep. Not with everything going on-”

“You mean with that knit-whit not showing up right?” With the water now boiled, she makes a cup of tea and brings it over to the table and places it in front of me, while saying my thanks she takes a seat for herself across the table.

“Yes, I suppose you can put it that way. I was hoping for some reason he might be hiding in that hole you have in your floor.” I take a sip of tea, “he isn’t, is he?”

She shakes her head.

I didn’t think so.

“Why do you want to find this boy so badly?”

“Excuse me?” Asking more out of confusion than shock. She has probably had him disappear for longer and show up at random points in time at her door, or more accurately dropping in through her window.

“I don’t mean to pry into your business dear, but I thought things didn’t go through well for you two.”

A light pink stains my cheeks. It is true though, it hurts to dwell on it, the way things had supposedly ended between us. Nonetheless life moves on, he made his choice and I made mine.

However, “that doesn’t mean I don’t still care for him.” It comes out quiet, resigned. I stare into the luke-warm tea, warbling my knit-brows and the frown set on my face. A couple of moments pass, stagnant in regret.

I gently lift my sight to Mazelinka’s from my cup to see her giving me an unreadable gaze.

She eventually nods, slowly stands and walks towards the curtain dividing the small bedroom. Shuffling through what sounds like draws, she appears again, sits back down in front of me and gently places what seems like a piece of paper next to my tea.

I stare at it for a moment, then back to her in question.

“He was here a few days ago, and I’m used to it by now with him and his disappearances, but,” slowly, as if wary of her next words, “Ilya had asked if I could give this to you the next time I saw you.”

My eyes widen. I don’t know whether in confusion, frustration or hope, but before I have time to react, Mazelinka places her hand on top of mine, “I’ll leave you to read it yourself,” she takes her hand back and stands, “he left one for Pasha too,” she begins to leave but pauses, “he wasn’t even going to tell his own sister.” Then walks away behind the aged curtain.

Now being alone, my thoughts catch up with my body and I hesitantly grasp the delicate paper, unfold it, and instantly wish I had just stayed home in ignorance.

‘My dear Apprentice,

I hope this letter finds you well, even though I understand that the circumstances when you do may not be. I just couldn’t tell you this in person no matter how much it pains me to do it this way, and not how I last left you.

By the time you read this I will have already boarded the first ship to leave the docks, and have sailed somewhere far from Vesuvia’s familiar waters. The same dock where I made the worst mistake of my life, in which I pushed you away.

I seem to have a bad habit of doing that, even when we used to work together in the palace dungeons I couldn’t help but isolate myself from people, thinking that if I just stuck to my work I could protect everyone, cure everyone. And yet you, the person I wanted to protect most, were neglected in my care and was eventually taken too soon.

I could never tell you how sorry I am for what happened, no matter how many apologies I give to you. I only hope that this renewal of life you have been gifted is one filled with love, not more pain, which I suppose is part of the reason why I am leaving.

After your heroic feat of binding the Devil, it has opened up new opportunities for the city, to rebuild stronger and to heal properly. I feel it has opened a new chapter to all our lives as a fresh beginning, especially for you. And as I start anew, after having to hide for so many years, I feel I long to venture and to explore the world again, to see what new experiences await me on foreign shores. And I have you to thank for that my dear.

I don’t know what I was thinking, rejecting you the way I did. A kind and selfless soul, in which I regret for not seeing until it was too late, who only wanted to help me find the truth to the mess I had gotten myself into. Who wanted to help ease the pain where I only caused more. Who actually cared for me but I was too selfish to realise, and who I’m sure is tired of hearing excuses from me by now.

I hope for you to know just how much you meant to me my dear, and how hard it is to leave you like this, but please understand that I can’t live in the place where I let everyone down. Where I let you down. However, I hope that someday you can forgive me, though of course I don’t dare ask this of you.

I am just glad I got to be in your life, however brief, I will always cherish it. I won’t be able to forget you my dear, and I hope you finally find the love I could never give you.

I’m sorry, my dear.

- J’

So he really is gone. All I have left of him is this letter, and the tears that stain it.

#the arcana #the arcana julian #fanfic #sad boy hours #i stayed up too late #julian x reader #julian devorak x reader #the arcana x reader

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