istillhaveyourlighter

[istillhaveyourlighter]

[istillhaveyourlighter]

Nana Komatsu by Inez & Vinoodh (2023)

[istillhaveyourlighter]

I feel like I’ve been drowning my whole life and you’re the air pocket - or gasp of air. For a second I don’t feel like I’m drowning.

#this is our life #i choose you #you choose me #every possibility #🧀🧀🧀🧀

[istillhaveyourlighter]

i feel like broken glass being held together by a piece of twine and its about to break.

#actually borderline #sometimes i dont wanna be happy

[istillhaveyourlighter]

so bright the sun is, ashamed to rise and be

in love with all of these vampires

#lyrics #my chemical romance #mcr lyrics #mcr #my chemical romance lyrics #the sharpest lives

[istillhaveyourlighter]

i feel like someone dead pretending to be alive

[istillhaveyourlighter]

please talk to me

[istillhaveyourlighter]

i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything i don’t deserve anything.

[istillhaveyourlighter]

I think I'm dying, I'm sitting in the shower, hands and feet are purple. I'm out of breath, I'm seeing spots, I can't stand. I’m not scared, I’m not sad. I wish I could’ve been better. I wish I was scared.

[istillhaveyourlighter]

I’m a dog, I sit and wait for you. Waiting at the door for you to come home. I pant at your feet. Wanting, waiting, begging for your attention. I am a dog.

#im a dog #writing #my writing

[istillhaveyourlighter]

I never screamed as a child, I felt as though if I made a sound, the glass walls around me would shatter and all would come crashing down.

I scream now, I scream and scream and scream, and yell and shout. I can’t get my feelings out of my head without screaming to the void, and hoping it’ll scream back. Hoping you’ll scream back.

#writing #my writing

[istillhaveyourlighter]

Hua Xi, from "Waiting"

[istillhaveyourlighter]

Yuku Kumagai: Legs and lower back (2023)

[istillhaveyourlighter]

My eyes are blue, I hope the ocean doesn’t scare you. I hope you don’t stare into me and see the endless abyss that stares back. The creatures swimming beneath the surface, I hope you don’t gaze too deep and startle.

#poetry #writing #my writing #poetry? #poem

[istillhaveyourlighter]

Your room was square

I once noticed from there

In your bed, as you slept

And I held my breath

Everything had its own place

And I wondered what space would I take

In the order you kept

I tried to eat like your girlfriend

Just tea in the night, I'd end up

Too hungry to sleep

So lying awake

I would follow the aching inside

I would find

It's for you won't be mine

I tried my hardest, for I'd never learned

God's very simple and love shouldn't burn

And I would've offered you all that you yearned for

But I was still waiting for something to earn

What is that quiet of snow in the night?

The dark rings with white noise as you stand and drown

Maybe it's all of these snowflakes

Screaming a choir of mute

As they brace for the ground

Well, that's my ride

Hope you had a good night

You know, you made me happy

Here, shake my hand

You make such a good man

Never once did you know me

I tried my hardest, for how do you learn

God's very simple and love doesn't burn

And maybe you'd offered me all that I yearned for

But I was still waiting for something to earn

Silly me, waiting

#lyrics #mitski #mitski lyrics #square

[istillhaveyourlighter]

———

C. A. Singh • Metacarpus

10-22-23

[istillhaveyourlighter]

Alexa Demie in Fairy Tales (2020) Photography: Petra Collins