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Jester, to Fjord: i don’t know how to flirt so I’m just gonna stare at you until you marry me

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #jester lavorre #fjorester #I mean it worked didn’t it #the mighty queue

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Molly: I am a luxury few can tolerate

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #mollymauk tealeaf #the mighty queue

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Beau: got caught giving a fuck

Beau: embarrassing

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #beauregard lionett #the mighty queue

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Essek: my primary motivators are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing

#I couldn’t decide if I wanted this to be a Caleb Molly or Essek quote #so here we are #the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #actually beau and jester would work here as well #do you see my dilemma #essek thelyss #the mighty queue

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Veth: true friends don’t judge each other

Jester: they judge other people

Beau: together

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #beauregard lionett #jester lavorre #nott the brave #veth brenatto #veth the brave #the mighty queue

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Caduceus: being alive Is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté

Caduceus: but then there are also the horrors

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #caduceus clay #the mighty queue

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Jester: SKDNSKND

Caduceus: what’s that

Jester: it’s a keyboard smash! :)

Caduceus: how do I do that?

Jester: just press anything!

Caduceus: 7

#I’m on my phone so my keyboard smashes never look quite right :( #the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #jester lavorre #caduceus clay #the mighty queue

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Molly: yeah, I have a double major in gay and stupid

#same #the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #mollymauk tealeaf #the mighty queue

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Molly: these days, anyone could be gay, and you’d have no idea

Molly: the cashier might me gay

Molly: the bartender might be gay

Molly: the guy sucking your dick might be gay

Caleb: but he said no homo though

Molly: he lied

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #widowmauk #the mighty queue

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Beau: *staring at Yasha, practically salivating*

Molly: yeah, I get it, she’s hot. But please calm your gay, there is a child here

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #beauregard lionett #mollymauk tealeaf #beauyasha #beau x yasha #he’s talking about Kiri btw #the mighty queue

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"This story is a tragedy because it didn't have to end this way."

vs

"This story is a tragedy because it was always going to end this way."

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Veth: if it is shiny and fits in my pocket it is mine. I am sorry for your loss

#she’s just like fr fr #the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #nott the brave #veth brenatto #veth the brave #the mighty queue

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Yasha: catch me gardening topless at 5am telling my baby tomato plant about my bad dream

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #yasha nydoorin #the mighty queue

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Caduceus: imagine if someone gave you a box full of the things you lost throughout your life

Yasha: it would be nice to get my sense of purpose back

Caleb: wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this

Beau: my will to live! I haven’t seen this in 15 years

Veth: I knew I lost my potential somewhere!

Fjord: mental stability, my old friend!

Caduceus: *long sigh*

Caduceus: right, back to the group therapy room

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #caleb widogast #beauregard lionett #nott the brave #veth the brave #veth brenatto #fjord tusktooth #caduceus clay #yasha nydoorin #the mighty queue

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Molly: the Irish word for Santa Claus literally translates to “Daddy December” and I don’t know how to feel about it

Beau: great, now I have to kinkshame ALL of IRELAND

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #beauregard lionett #mollymauk tealeaf #the mighty queue

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Jester: I JUST REALIZED WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT DINOSAURS SOUND LIKE! THEY COULDVE BEEN SPEAKING FLUENT ZEMNIAN FOR ALL WE KNOW!

Caleb: it’s too early for this shit

Beau: GUTEN MORGAN HERR PTERODACTYL!

Caleb: I regret everything

#Beau learned basic zemnian just to piss off caleb when she (intentionally) uses it incorrectly #but also to do shit like this #Caleb whines about it outwardly #but inwardly he’s very touched that beau is just enough of an sweetheart to learn his native tongue #even if she’s a bastard about it #the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #caleb widogast #beauregard lionett #jester lavorre #the mighty queue

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the best trope in media is: “characters turn on the lights, see the monster, and immediately turn the lights back off”