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hyunxjinnie · 5 months

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Astronomy (Han Jisung)

(Partially inspired by Tek it by Cafuné and Astronomy by Conan Gray)

(You can listen to either one of the songs while reading!))

Pairing: Han Jisung x Female reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Mentions of alcoholic parents, reader talks about getting high, mentions of drugs, break ups, Rock star Jisung, rock star Skz!

Characters: Y/n, Han Jisung, Seo Changbin, Kim Seungmin, Shin Ryujin, Lee Minho,+ possible mentions of other Skz members or idols

Enjoy!

Backround

You and Jisung were two peas in a pod, as your mothers liked to say.

You were similar in many ways, but also fairly different.

The two of you grew up together. Your mothers were neighbors and both alcoholics and drug addicts. Jisung and his mother would come over to your house everyday. Your moms would send you both outside or to the corner store while they took drugs and drank.

At the time, you and Jisung were just children, both about five or six years old, but you were never afraid to walk around in the dark streets of the neighborhood, as long as Jisung was with you it was fine.

So that's how it went.

Most of your days were spent with Jisung, you both went to the same school and lived across from each other, so it was perfect.

Every summer was spent playing at the run down neighborhood park, or the woods behind your house, or the corner store with the nice old lady that gave you both free popsicles.

The summer before sixth grade, you and Jisung met a girl name Shin Ryujin, she was the granddaughter of the old lady at the corner store. Ryujin was a spunky little girl, and rather strange too. She had jet black hair that reached her mid back, and she was skinny with bruises and scrapes all over her body from playing in her grandmothers yard all the time. The three of you became good friends.

For a while, it was just the three of you: You, Jisung, and Ryujin.

Often, you'd find yourself being jealous when Jisung and Ryujin did something without you, and during seventh grade, you started disliking Ryujin.

You wanted to make Jisung jealous, and therefore you started hanging out with a shy boy in your class, Kim Seungmin. Seungmin was tall and scrawny and wore glasses, and his hair hung on his head like a mop.

You introduced him to Jisung and Ryujin, and Ryujin welcomed him with open arms, but Jisung on the other hand was bitter. But eventually the two became close, considering they were the only two guys in the group.

When freshman year of high school came for the four of you, the group was actually doing very well. You had realized that Ryujin wasn't trying to steal Jisung from you, and you and Ryujin had developed a sister relationship, and the guys were doing just fine as well.

The day before the first day of high school was spent at Ryujin's house, giving yourselves makeovers.

Ryujin had cut her hair and got blonde streaks, as well as a nose piecing.

You dyed your hair red and got two piercings on both your ears.

The first day of school, Ryujin's father drove you both. You remember Jisung blowing up your phone, asking you where you were and why you weren't waiting outside his door door to walk to school together, and saying he was leaving without you.

When you arrived to school you saw Jisung standing at the entrance, leaning against one of the pillars with one hand in his pocket, and the other holding his phone close with a pout on his face.

As soon as you and Ryujin stepped out of the car you called his name and ran up to him.

"Holy shit.." He'd said as you both approached him.

"You like it?" You asked him.

"Uhh, Of course I like it! But now I look boring compared to you guys." He frowned.

Ryujin giggled, "You still have Seungmin, he hasn't changed a bit!"

And she was right, because when Seungmin pulled up in his family's SUV, he stepped out looking the exact same, mop hair, glasses, skinny bones and all.

His mother rolled down her window, shouting "I love you's" and "have a great day" as he rolled his eyes in embarrassment and walked up to you guys.

"Tell you mom you love her!" Ryujin crossed her arms.

Seungmin shook his head, "She's so embarrassing.." He frowned.

"Hey, at least she likes you." You shrugged, thinking about how your mother stopped paying attention to you as soon as you had became a pre teen a few years ago.

Unlike the rest of you, Seungmin's family was rich. His father was a Ceo and his mother was a doctor. Though, his parents were divorced, his father still sent money every month for Seungmin and his mom, and was involved in Seungmin's life.

Your father on the other hand left as soon as you were born, and Jisung's father had left when Jisung was only four years old.

Your lives were truly messed up.

But it was okay.

Because you had each other.. Right?

...

Your senior year of high school was definitely eventful.

Your mother had THREE pregnancy scares, but she didn't actually end up pregnant. She had gotten a new boyfriend, you didn't even know his name, you didn't care.

She often went to his house, leaving you home by yourself, but at some point he'd started hanging out at your place, and before you knew it he was moving right in.

Obviously you didn't like this, and most of your time was spent at Ryujin's house, and some times you'd sleep over at Jisung's or Seungmin's.

You're senior year was when you actually started being interested in guys. You were never one to fawn over guys, you didn't understand it.

Maybe it was because you never had anyone to obsessed over, you never talked to any guys other than Jisung and Seungmin, and they were your friends, you didn't like them.

Well, that's what you thought.

Jisung had started focusing on his looks more, he grew out his hair and had started caring about his outfits instead of just throwing the closest fabric to him on his body.

He was just, different.

He was still your goofy Jisung, your best friend, but he'd matured, and you weren't the only one to notice. Girls at your school started crushing on him, and sending him confession letters.

Somehow, Jisung rejected each and everyone of them, turning them down politely

You'd asked him why which led to a goofy, awkward confession, which led to the both of you getting into a relationship.

And you two couldn't have been happier.

...

To this day you and Jisung were still, "two peas in a pod".

The two of you never argued or got into fights, and you intended to keep it that way.

But unfortunately, it did not work out that way.

"You're leaving?!?!" Jisung sprung up from the swing he'd been sitting on.

You sighed and looked at the ground.

High school had ended a month ago, and you and Jisung had no idea what to do with your lives.

Ryujin was going to go to the local University to study in the medical field, and Seungmin wanted to start training to be a professional baseball player.

But you had been contemplating what you wanted to do with your life, you and Jisung had always talked about starting a band together, but as you got older you realized you needed to have a back up plan, which is why you'd secretly applied to a University, but the problem was...it was all the way in America.

You honestly didn't think you would get in, and you totally forgot about it, until an email popped up on your phone, revealing that you had gotten in. And you didn't mention it to Jisung, not until now.

"Han, I'm sorry..I really am." You said, knowing he couldn't stay mad at you when you addressed him that way.

He scoffed, pushing his hair back in frustration.

"It's for our future Sung, it's for the best! I don't want to be stuck here forever, I do not want to end up like my mother, I refuse to end up like that." You were holding back tears now.

"I really don't know what to think Y/n.." Jisung sighed.

The both of you sat in silence for a while, until Jisung looked up at you, hands shaking, eyes teary, a painful smile on his lips.

"I think we should break up."

...

That Summer was the best and the worst one of your life.

Jisung, Seungmin, Ryujin, and you hung out every single day. You'd decided to make the most of your time with your friends, since it would be the last Summer with them for a while.

Things with Jisung weren't as bad as you thought they'd be, the two of you went back to being just best friends, and pretended like nothing ever happened. You both came to the conclusion that it'd be easier and less painful to say goodbye that way.

When the Summer was over and it was finally time to say goodbye, many tears were shed.

You honestly don't think you've ever cried that hard in your entire life. Leaving behind your best friends was heartbreaking. You were worried that overtime, they'd forget all about you.

"You're going on to do better things, I'm proud of you." Seungmin had told you.

Ryujin had made you promise to call her every night, even with the time difference.

Saying goodbye to Jisung was definitely the hardest thing.

You'd both spent practically your entire lives together, you'd never been apart for more than a few hours

The two of you had been together the night before, you had a sleepover with him, Seungmin, and Ryujin, but when the other two fell asleep, you and Jisung snuck out and revisited all your favorite childhood spots.

"We should get high, just once since I'm leaving." You'd suggested that night. So you did, and then you ended up falling asleep in each others arms, crying like babies.

Before you left Jisung had held you so tightly, crying into the crook of your neck, you doing the same. Neither of you wanted to let go, and you almost missed your flight.

When you finally reached LA, you were worn out.

You had ubered to the college campus and crashed as soon as you got to your dorm, you didn't even meet your roommate until the next day.

Your roommate, Sana, was a bubbly girl from Japan, you two had a bit of a struggle communicating, but you managed.

For the first few months, you kept your word and facetimed the group every day, but over time you all became too busy, and the face times turned into regular calls, and calls turned into group texts, and soon no one was available at the same time.

Those times were hard.

...

Four years.

Four years had passed.

You finally graduated college with a a degree in film, and you couldn't be happier.

You still kept in contact with everyone, mostly Ryujin.

Ryujin dropped out of college last year, she had gotten pregnant and now had a one year old baby boy named Jiyoung.

Seungmin hadn't become a famous baseball player, but he ended up coaching for a few teams, and he seemed pretty happy, you talked to him a good bit.

Jisung on the other hand...

Jisung had followed his dreams.

He was in a band, Stray Kids, along with 6 other guys, and sometimes Seungmin tagged along as a guest vocalist in some songs when he was free.

Stray Kids were doing great.

They were super popular in Korea, and internationally too. They'd gone on a few tours throughout Asia, and there were rumors spreading about a world tour soon.

You were proud.

You hadn't texted Jisung in a few months, the both of you were always busy.

When the two of you did talk, it was mostly a simple, "Hello, how are you," and nothing more. Your friendship had crashed and burned.

You still loved Jisung, and you knew he loved you, after all, you'd been friends for years and that doesn't just go away.

After thinking long and hard, you decided to go back to Korea.. You missed all of your friends, and you wanted to check up on your mother. So you packed your bags and left to Korea a week after Summer started.

When you arrived, the first place you headed was Ryujin's house.

You knocked and patiently waited for a minute, and she flung open the door.

"Y/n WHAT THE HELL?!?!"

She pulled you into a tight hug, sniffling a bit, indicating she had started to cry.

You were starting to tear up as well, it had been way to long since you'd last seen her and your other friends.

"When did you get here? Why didn't you tell me!" She asked, pulling away.

"I wanted it to be a surprise, duh! Now move over and let me in!" You play fully moved her to the side and walked into the house with your bags.

Ryujin helped you bring them in. It was obvious you'd be staying with her, you hadn't spoke to your mother in a long time, and even if you had, you wouldn't want too stay with her.

"Where's my nephew?" You asked, referring to Jiyoung.

"He's taking a nap right now, and dad and grandma are out of town. Speaking of that, how long will you be staying? You've got a lot of bags."

You sighed. "I don't want to go back to LA.. I missed you guys too much, I think I'm gonna stay..."

Her eyes widened. "Really?!?! That's great! You can stay here with me, dad, and grandma! It'll be so nice!"

"You'd let me live here?" You raised your eyebrows.

Ryujin nodded and smiled.

The two of you hung out until Jiyoung woke up, and then you both headed out with the baby to go and surprise Seungmin.

"Min lives in a different neighborhood now, its a private one. He shares a house with his cousin, its huge." Ryujin filled you in on Seungmin's living situation as you both pulled up to some gates.

She pressed a button and scanned a card and the gate opened.

The neighborhood was beautiful, tons of huge mansions stood side by side, you observed the homes you passed by until Ryujin pulled into the driveway of what was Seungmin's home.

It wasn't as big as the others, but it definitely was big. It was a cross between modern and traditional, it had to be worth at least two million.

You and Ryujin got out of the car. You stared in amazement at the house while Ryujin took Jiyoung out of his car seat.

You guys walked to the front door and Ryujin pulled out a key from her purse. You weren't surprised she had a key to Seungmin's house. When you were all younger he'd lose his keys several times, so each one of you had a copy in case of an emergency.

"Welcome to Seungmin's humble home." Ryujin joked as she opened the door.

The inside was petty simple and minimalistic, it was nice, but still very big.

"KIM SEUNGMIN!" Ryujin shouted.

A few seconds later you heard someone coming down the stairs. "Ryujin? What's up?"

Seungmin came down the spiral staircase, adjusting his glasses. He stopped when he saw you.

"What the actual... Y/n?"

"Hi!" You giggled.

He ran down the stairs and picked you up and spun you. You let out a laugh.

You weren't at all surprised by his reaction, the two of you were very close before you left, after all, he was your friend before he met Ryujin and Jisung, given that you had introduced them.

"I can't believe you're actually here!" He shook his head in disbelief.

"Yep, I'm here to stay." You grinned, making Seungmin smile even more.

A loud voice yelled Seungmin's name, interrupting your reunion.

"Seungmin! Is Ryujin here?" You looked up and saw a short, muscular guy coming down the stairs.

"Oh whose this?" He said, looking at you.

You on the other hand, were stunned. This was Changbin, a member of Stray Kids, he knew Jisung, and he was very famous.

"Oh! This is Y/n, you know my friend. Y/n, this is Changbin." Seungmin introduced you.

"Seungmin, what is a member of Stray Kids doing in your house!?"

Seungmin let out a laugh. "Changbin's my cousin! He came here after you left and he's good friends with Jisung, he's the one who helped him start Stray Kids." He explained.

Changbin gave you a small wave. "Hi! I've heard a lot about you, its good to meet you in person!"

"You too!" You said, still in shock.

"Does Jisung know your here?" Seungmin asked.

You nervously bit your lip. "I, uh..no. I don't even know if I'm going to see him."

Seungmin cocked and eyebrow. "Why not? Last time I checked you two were on good terms. You guys literally grew up together, why wouldn't you want to see him?"

You shrugged. "We haven't talked in a while, he's always busy, It would be awkward."

"You sure? From what I know he loves you a lot, he talks about you quite a bit. When we were discussing our world tour the other day he was thinking about visiting you in LA." Changbin spoke up.

"He was?" You were surprised by Changbin's statement.

He nodded. "He still considers you his best friend, trust me."

...

After Changbin told you that Jisung still considered you his best friend, you were considering going to see him.

You hung out with Ryujin, Seungmin, and Changbin for a few hours, and after a while you and Ryujin finally left, leaving Jiyoung at the house because Changbin wanted to watch him.

"I think you should go see Jisung." Ryujin suggested.

"Yeah, you're right." You sighed, throwing your head onto the back of your seat.

The two of you drove in silence, while you tried to collect your thoughts.

Before you knew it, you were in your old neighborhood, almost to Jisung's home.

"He still lives here?" You asked.

"Him and the rest of the guys all have a house together on the other side of town, AND an apartment in Seoul, but he stays at his mom's most of the time, Mrs. Han isn't in the best condition right now, so he stays with her." Ryujin explains as you pull up to his house.

"I'm gonna take a drive around the neighborhood, you have fun. Good luck." She says as you exit the car.

You take in your surroundings as you walk up to the house. The memories hitting you like a truck. You don't turn around, not wanting to see your house just across from Jisung's, if you do you might start crying.

You take a deep breath and knock on the door.

The door opens, and instead of Jisung, another guy opens the door. His hair is a dark purple color. His cat like eyes look you up and down, confused.

You recognize him as Minho, another member of Stray Kids. You know that him and Jisung were very close.

Minho seems to have an idea of who you are, but he doesn't say that.

"Yes?"

You fidget nervously with the bottom of your sweater. "Is uhm, is Jisung here?"

Minho nods and before he can call for Jisung, a voice comes from inside.

"Minho? Whose at the-"

Jisung stands behind Minho, eyes wide, mouth open in shock.

"Y/n?"

"Hi Sung." You smile.

He walks past Minho and gives you a hug.

"When did you get here?" His voice is quiet, muffled in your neck, but you can tell he's crying.

"Earlier this morning. Surprise!" You chuckle.

Jisung pulls away from you, and turns to Minho, they don't say anything, but Minho seems to know what Jisung means because he nods, gives the both of you a wave, and shuts the door.

"C'mon, we've got a lot to talk about.." Jisung grabs your hand and you both start walking.

The two of you end up at the park you always went to as kids. You both sit on the swing set.

"I'm proud of you Han." You speak.

He tilts his head. "For what?"

"You achieved your dreams! Your a star for crying out loud!"

He lets of a small laugh, but it comes out as more of a huff. "I guess you could say that."

"Don't be so humble." You playfully poke his side.

The two of you talk and laugh, just like old times.

"I see your close with Minho." You say.

"Oh, yeah, I guess you could say that." He shrugs, face heating up.

"Since when?" You ask him.

Jisung sighs, he couldn't lie to you. "A year after you left. I met him and you know, I didn't think I was, uhm..interested in guys, you know? But Minho is..he's something else."

You smiled. You were happy for him, but deep down there was a feeling of hurt, of pain. Jisung had moved on, and you still hadn't. You still had feelings for him.

"As long as you happy I'm good. You two are cute." You reassured him.

Jisung's face flushed and he looked at the ground.

"You're still important to me Y/n. Nothing will change that, you know." He looked up at you.

"Yeah, I know."

...

That night you went out with your friends. It was just like nothing had ever changed, like you had never left.

You and Ryujin wanted the guys to come over, but Jisung had to check on his mom, and Seungmin had a game to coach for the next day, so you and Ryujin said you goodbyes to them and went home.

As soon as you got back to Ryujin's house, you bursted into tears.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Ryujin led you to the couch.

"I-Ryu, he doesn't-He doesn't love me anymore." You sobbed.

She wiped your tears and pulled your head to her chest. "It'll be ok."

You loved Jisung, and everything had been fine before you left, it was all your fault, you ruined everything.

If you hadn't left, you and Jisung would still be together, he would still love you.

But now, it would never work out.

Now all you could do was watch everything play out, him and Minho's relationship, his success, everything.

Now he was doing amazing, and you were just a chapter he'd closed, even though he told you that you still meant a lot to him, and that you'd always be best friends, he didn't need you anymore.

You'd both came from the same worlds, two kids with no father and drug head mothers, but now you were two worlds apart. Jisung was happy and successful, and though you had your whole life ahead of you, you were stuck in the past, in something that would never happen again.

You'd have to watch as things happened in front of you, you'd have to come to terms with the fact that even though Jisung owned your heart, you no longer owned his.

You had to move on.

...

______________________________________________________________

This didn't turn out quite how I wanted it to, but I hope you guys like it!

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hyunxjinnie · 6 months

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All your broken pieces (Stray Kids) Chapter 3 "Well now he knows"

Summary: Your life was not easy..in fact, it was rather terrible. As a child, you'd gone through emotional and physical abuse, and you'd seen some things you shouldn't have...Your trauma stuck with you throughout you teenage years, and through the current adult years in your life. No one, not even you was willing to deal with you and your trauma, you're broken. Well..that is until a group of guys come and try to save you from the horrible, insufferable depths of your mind.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Mentions of abuse (emotional and physical), mentions of alcohol and drug addictions, mentions of anxiety and trauma, possible mentions of blood.

After the incident in the bathroom, Chan took you to your room and stayed with you the rest of the night. It took you a while to fall asleep, but Chan reassured you that everything was fine and he wouldn't leave.

You woke up with a groan, rubbing your hands over your face.

Chan wasn't beside you.

Panic spread throughout your body. You tossed the blankets off and rushed to your bedroom door, but stopped upon hearing Chan's voice.

"I don't know what happened, I didn't wanna ask her about it, she was too shaken up...I'll try and talk to her later, when the guys wake up just tell them she isn't feeling well, I don't want them worrying too much."

You curse under your breath.

You didn't plan on telling Chan anything, you didn't want to tell him anything...Once he knew, he and all the guys would probably never talk to you again, why would they want to hang out with someone as mentally screwed up as you were?

You heart rate increases when you hear who you can only assume is Chan, outside your door.

He knocks a few times, but when he doesn't get an answer from you, he slowly opens the door and sees you sitting wide eyed on the bed.

He sighs and closes the door, locking it and making his way over to you.

He kneels in front of you.

"How are you feeling?"

You shrug, looking down at your lap.

Chan sighs. "Y/n, do you mind telling me what exactly happened last night?" He softly asked, reaching for your hand.

You slightly flinch, pulling your hand toward your chest, and Chan's face falls.

You look up and the look on his face breaks your heart, you had not planned to reach like that, but none of the guys had ever really initiated skin ship with you, because you'd told them you didn't like physical touch.

"Chan I'm sorry..I-"

He cuts you off and shakes his head. "Its okay, promise. I just wanna know what's going on, I can't help you if I don't know, yeah?"

You took a deep breath and nodded. "Can you- can you please not leave me?"

"Why would I do that?" He furrows his eyebrows, face scrunched up in confusion.

"Just promise Chan." You breath out.

"I promise." He gives you a small smile.

And so you told him.

You told him everything.

You told him about your father, how he abused you and harassed you, you told him about your mother and her death. You told Chan all of it, every little detail about your life before you came to Korea. You told him how you had to bury your mother, you told him about your father assaulting you, you told him how you ran away and how you lived in a shelter for a while, and why you had nightmares, and why you hid under sinks.

And he listened.

...

By the time you were finished talking, you were sobbing, and rocking back and forth with your knees pressed against your chest, and Chan was holding back his own tears.

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Y/n?" Chan spoke.

You looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Can I hug you?"

You nodded, and Chan didn't waste a second. He immediately took you into his arms.

"Thank you for telling me...your so brave Y/n. I'm not going anywhere, yeah?"

You nodded.

...

Once again, you'd fallen asleep crying in Bang Chan's arms.

You woke up hearing all of the guys chattering in the living room.

You threw on a hoodie over your tank top and put on your glasses, hoping it would hide the bags under your eyes.

You then walked out of your room and to the living room where you saw the guys playing games and eating pizza, and your roommate Noel was there too.

"Hey y/n! Are you feeling better? " Changbin asked.

"Oh, yeah! I'm feeling good." You put on a smile and went along with everything, letting the guys think you had been feeling sick.

You frowned upon realizing Chan wasn't there, and neither was Minho.

"Where's Chan and Min?"

Jisung spoke up. "They went on a walk, Chan said he wanted to talk to Minho." He shrugged.

"I wonder what he did this time." Seungmin snickered, followed by a giggle from Hyunjin.

You sat on the floor next to Felix and Noel, and grabbed a slice of pizza.

"Oo, you have pretty hair." Jisung randomly said from the couch behind you.

"Uh, thanks."

He hummed before reaching his hands down and playing with your hair, attempting to braid it.

The rest of the night went fine, you had fallen asleep on the floor next to Noel.

When you woke up, you realized that everyone else was asleep, but there was talking coming from your room, and the light was on.

Too tired to care or process anything, you went into your room, and you were greeted by Chan and Minho sitting on the floor, talking.

Chan smiled when you came in.

"Hey sweetheart." The nickname rolled off his tongue in attempts to not freak you out, knowing you were tired, and confused. "Is it okay if me and Min stay in here with you tonight?"

You had no idea why they wanted to sleep in your room, maybe Chan wanted to make sure you didn't have another episode, but why would Minho stay too?

If you were being honest, you didn't care, you were tired, so you just nodded and climbed into bed.

"Night." You mumbled.

"Goodnight y/n"

#skz angst #hyunjin #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #bang chan #han jisung #i.n #lee know #lee felix #stray kids x reader #stray kids #changbin #bang chan x reader #fyp #hyunxjinnie

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hyunxjinnie · 6 months

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Stray Kids(스트레이 키즈) "樂-STAR" TEASER IMAGES

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hyunxjinnie · 6 months

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𝘀𝘂𝗯𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁・l.f.

— in which you forget that your hot housemate follows you on twitter.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀・1.1k 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴・roommate!felix x streamer!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲𝘀・fluff, flirting, kind of an smau, implied friends to lovers, humor if u count jeongin being a piece of shit

𝗮/𝗻・saw this tweet the other day and it was so painfully lix coded that i knew i had to write something asap. contains a tiny bit of gaming jargon but is hopefully comprehensible. ENJOY ♡

y/n ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ @ y/nxx

if someone brings you fresh cut fruit to your table when you're gaming, they either like LIKE you or it's your mom

11:23 A.M.・Oct. 2023・220.2K Views

bokkie 🐣 liked your post.

“My tweet?”

You read aloud the newest text in your chatroom, and your face brightens when you remember the one in question.

“Oh, about the fruit—no, it’s so true though. And I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but I have an inkling she did it to guilt trip me." You change your posture and adopt your best motherly tone of voice. "‘This is your tenth consecutive hour wasting your young adulthood in front of that damn screen. I am now going to hand deliver apple slices straight to your mouth.’ That kind of vibe, y'know?"

A slew of messages follows your anecdote, but it is a comment from one of your moderators that catches your eye first:

je0ng1n: what about the other option tho 👀

You groan at the sight of his username. “Man, why are you always here? Don't you have a job?"

je0ng1n: i’m on break je0ng1n: taking a dump je0ng1n: ungrateful bitch

You brandish a middle finger to the camera. “Hope the dump sucks."

je0ng1n: HEY je0ng1n: don’t even joke about that :(

An involuntary cackle precedes your next words. “If you’re actually wondering, though, the only person who’s brought me fruit while I’m playing video games is indeed my mother. Heartbreaking, I know.”

At this, the steady flow of messages morphs into a gallery of depressed cat emoticons; your audience never fails to impress you with their way with words.

“But if someone other than your disappointed parent is bringing you fruit,” you go on, “they might as well get on one knee in the process, honestly. That's such an adorable, loving thing to do.”

Suddenly, the words MATCH FOUND splash across your monitor, and you move your cursor to accept the game invite—only to be met with a pop-up window and a familiar error sound that grates on your ears like screeching tires.

You know how this story ends: the lights in your mouse go dark, and you look on in dejected silence.

je0ng1n: LMFAOOOOO je0ng1n: bro’s mouse definitely just exploded again

“You guessed it," you sigh. “Hang tight for a sec, guys."

Half an hour ago, you could’ve sworn you heard sneakers being kicked off, a set of keys falling against plastic. Now, you pull one side of your headphones off and roll your chair a few feet backward, calling through your half-open door: “Lix, are you home?”

You pick up on a soft clunk that sounds like metal hitting wood—the cutting board, maybe?—and then your housemate's low, accented answer bounces off the walls of your shared hallway.

“Yeah, you alright?”

“The mouse,” you say helplessly.

“Ah.” It’s not the first time you’ve summoned him for this. “Be right there.”

A few seconds later, you remember to tack on a hurried disclaimer: “I’m live, by the way!”

“I know.”

This brings a bashful smile to your face, though the expression quickly turns to one of pure dismay when you return to your desk and witness the disastrous state of your chat.

Felix has become a regular guest on your stream by now, always popping in to show you a TikTok or ask for your opinion on a new pair of jeans or simply give your camera an awkward wave—but he may as well own your channel with how completely and unequivocally he has captured the hearts of your viewers. They’re convinced he’s the sexiest person to ever grace the earth, with his chiseled features and coffee-colored eyes; with a grin that could set entire estates on fire and a voice that could scrape the nadir of the Grand Canyon.

Do you agree? Absolutely.

Do you have any intention of voicing this sentiment, so long as you’re splitting rent with him? Absolutely the hell not.

Another of Jeongin’s messages—GET ME HIS NUMBER OR I GET VIOLENT—inspires you to minimize the stream window before Felix gets here. It’s for the best.

A few moments later, the door opens, and the air shifts inside your room. A hand comes to rest on the top of your head; a familiar silhouette appears in your periphery. There is a fond grin plastered across your face and a bright greeting sitting readily on the tip of your tongue.

But then, Felix places a plate of freshly cut fruit in the empty space to the left of your keyboard—here, he hums, the sound falling against the shell of your ear like a drop of melted chocolate. And the gears of your brain grind to a complete stop.

There is no further acknowledgment; no supplementary explanation for what he's just done. He simply picks up your mouse and gets to work.

The words of your tweet swim dizzyingly before your eyes, not unlike those halos of stars and birds that revolve around disoriented cartoon characters. And you’re suddenly, achingly aware of your roommate's arm nudging against yours as he tinkers away; of the aromas of vanilla and laundry detergent that always come with his proximity; of the heat that’s risen to your face, and the plethora of questions that have surfaced to your mind.

A soft huff of laughter follows a gentle utterance of your name, and you snap out of your trance. Felix’s eyes are glinting with amusement when you meet them.

“It’s been recalibrated,” he says, handing back your mouse. “Just give it a few minutes.”

Your fingertips brush over his palm when you accept the object, and even this blink of contact has your heart performing an elaborate hopscotch routine across the plane of your chest.

It’s either your mom, or…

“Thank you,” you mumble, finally retrieving your larynx from the bottom of the Atlantic.

“Anytime,” Felix returns, and you know he means it. “You need a duo, by the way?"

“Yes, please.”

He gives you a warm smile at this, and there’s a hint of something else—something new—in the curve of his lips. “Give me two.” And he’s gone as quickly as he'd come.

You will never know how Felix slips his phone out of his pocket the second he emerges from your room, his pulse hounding his ears as he turns a nervous gaze upon his screen.

There is now a supersonic blur of messages saturating your chatroom, a colorful cacophony of moving emotes and capital letters, but he is focused wholly on the person in front of the camera and how you slowly lift a hand to your mouth, deathly silent despite your every viewer demanding your comment on the matter, your sanguine cheeks visible even through the gaps of your fingers.

That is all he needs to know.

Felix sinks into the leather of his gaming chair and bends to power on his computer. Only after a deep breath blows past his lips does his smile start to stretch into a grin, every bit as embarrassed as it is relieved.

je0ng1n: no way je0ng1n: no fucking way je0ng1n: my heart fluttered je0ng1n: wtf je0ng1n: how’d you pull HIM??

y/nxx has removed je0ng1n as a moderator of this channel.

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hyunxjinnie · 6 months

Note

Hi, I loved Wish You Were Sober!! Definitely need more 😻😻

Hiiii! I'm glad you liked it! I was actually afraid to post it...but I'll definitely make another part!💗

#anon #skz angst #send asks #hyunxjinnie

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hyunxjinnie · 6 months

Text

Wish you were sober

(inspired by the Conan Gray song)

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, alcohol, vaping, partying, etc !

Pairing: Hyunjin ! X Female reader ! Brief Lee Know ! X reader !

Enjoy!

...

You hated party's.

And yet, here you were.

Sitting on the uncomfortable leather couch in Han Jisung and Lee Minho's home, watching your best friend, Hyunjin dance and trade drinks with some random girl.

You really didn't want to be here, but you didn't want anything to happen to Hyunjin, he was known for getting into trouble, especially when he was high or drunk.

You knew he could take care of himself though, and you knew your mutual friends, Jisung and Minho wouldn't let anything happen to him, so why did you come?

If you were being truthful, you only came because Hyunjin begged you, and you absolutely couldn't say no to the guy, he was too charming and persistent.

Even though you'd vowed that you'd never attend another party again, Hyunjin just had to beg and look at you with his stupid pretty eyes on his stupid pretty face, and you caved.

It was a cycle.

Hyunjin hears about a party and wants to go, you tell him you'll stay home, he begs, you cave in, and you let him drag you to the party, and then he gets drunk, dances and makes out with random girls, then you drag him back home, and he says dumb sweet things to you.

It hurt, it really did..Hyunjin always begged you to come along, telling you things like; "It'll be no fun if you aren't there!" And, "You love me, right?"

He basically guilt-tripped you into coming with him, telling you all those things, and then leaving you for whatever chick comes up to him, and then he acts like nothing's wrong.

Maybe nothing was wrong, maybe you were just over thinking, right?

You sighed and got up from the couch.

As you pushed past the crowd of drunk hooligans, you heard someone call your name.

You turned to see Hyunjin with a pretty blonde on his arm, who you believe was a girl named Karina.

"Where are you going?" He asked with a pout on his face and his cheeks red from all the alcohol.

"Upstairs."

He frowned. "Are you going to see Minho again?" He asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

You sighed. "Look, Hyune..i'll be right back, swear." You didn't give him time to answer, and turned around and bolted up the stairs.

The upstairs of the home was less crowded. There were a few people hanging out and vaping, but that was it.

You used the spare key Minho gave you and unlocked his bedroom door.

"Minho?"

You locked the door behind you and scanned his room, but he wasn't there.

The open window caught your attention, the cold breeze blowing into the room.

You carefully peeked your head out and saw him sitting on the roof with a bottle of wine in his hands. You crawled out of the window and sat next to him.

"This party's shit, huh?" He chuckled as he took a sip of the wine.

You nodded and sighed. "I don't even know why I come anymore."

Minho snickered and turned to look at you, raising one eyebrow.

"I think we both know exactly why you came."

You huff and shake your head. "Its just-its so confusing, Min! He begs me to come with him, then he abandons me for literally anyone else, and-and then he tells me he loves me when we're alone, and then he acts like it never happened!" You scoff and take the wine from Minho, aggressively taking small sips.

"Who's he charmed up this time?" Minho chuckles.

"Karina." You sigh.

He hums and looks at you for a bit, studying your face.

"Lets dip." He says.

"Where?"

He thinks for a moment. "Do you have anywhere specific that you wanna go?"

You shake your head. "No, just anywhere but here is fine."

Minho nods and grabs the wine from you, and sets it back inside on his dresser, then he grabs onto the branch of the big oak tree and starts making his way down.

"You coming?"

You grab onto the branch and make your way down too.

...

You and Minho ended up going to an arcade. It was fun, but soon it got late, and you both headed back to the house.

The house was almost empty, everyone had gone home at that point. A few of the people from your friend group, Chaeryeong, NingNing, Chan, and Felix had stayed back to help Jisung clean up.

"Jisung, we're never throwing another party again." Minho scoffed, looking at the mess.

"Yeah, yeah." Jisung's words were slurred, indicating he was slightly drunk.

"I'm gonna go find Jin." You said quietly, walking past everyone.

After searching around the house for a few minutes, you finally found him curled up and asleep on the bathroom floor.

You sighed and shook him awake. "Hyunjin.. Wake up."

He groaned a bit before slowly opening his eyes.

He drunkenly smiled at you. "Y/nnn" he softly grinned.

You gave him a small smile. "C'mon, lets get you back home, hm?"

You helped him up. You struggled a bit, but you were used to it. You both stumbled a bit coming out of the bathroom.

"You need some help?" Chan asked.

"No, I'm fine." You shook your head.

"You sure?"

You nodded and continued helping Hyunjin out of the house, saying goodbye to everyone on your way out.

"Jinne, where are your keys?" You asked.

He mumbled a quiet, "Pocket." Before resting his head on your shoulder.

You fumbled around in his pockets for a bit before you found it and unlocked his car. You helped him into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt.

Once he was settled, you hopped into the drivers seat and drove towards his apartment.

Less than ten minutes later, you had arrived. You shook Hyunjin awake and he whined.

"Jinnie get up please..only a few more minutes and you'll be inside, but you have to get up." You tried reasoning with him.

He sighed and his eyes fluttered open.

"You're pretty." He breathed out.

You hummed and reached across to unbuckle his seatbelt. He grabbed your wrist.

Confused, you looked up at him. "Hyunjin what-*

You were cut off by his lips on yours, kissing you softly for a moment.

When he broke the kiss, you stared at him in shock. He'd never ever done anything like that before.

He grabbed your face and pulled you back in for another kiss, and you didn't resist.

He pulled you onto his lap so that you were straddling him. One hand was on your face, while the other rested on your hip, his touch light, but still burning into your skin.

He gently bit your lip and pulled away, and ended the kiss with a soft peck on the corner of your lips.

"I-we should- I should get you inside." You spoke softly, out of breath. You gently climbed off of him and helped him out of the car.

The walk and elevator ride up to his apartment was silent. When you finally got there, you help him in and to his room.

You took off his shoes and jacket. You then took off his jeans, leaving him in his boxer's and his shirt.

He groaned, calling out your name softly.

"What is it?"

"Stay, please." He pouted.

"I-" you started, but stopped when his pout turned into a frown and his eyes were getting a bit teary.

Sighing, you kicked off your shoes and let Hyunjin tug you down next to him.

His arms wrapped around your waist and he buried his head in your chest, breathing in your scent deeply.

You lay there until you could hear his slight snores, and you gently got out of his hold. He whined and turned around, clutching the nearest pillow.

You turned off the light in his room and shut the door, making your way to the couch while replaying the nights events in your head.

A loud sigh escaped your lips.

Hyunjin was confusing.. He was leading you on, even though he didn't mean to.

You knew you should distance yourself from him, but you couldn't do that. He mattered to you too much... But you also were aware that Minho was annoyed with you for crawling back to Hyunjin and so were all the rest of your friends.

Everyone loved Hyunjin, but it was obvious he wasn't ready for a relationship, and everyone knew that, including you.

You just didn't want to accept it.

...

You woke up on the couch in Hyunjin's living room. You didn't realize you had fallen asleep.

The sound of a toilet flushing and the sink running indicated that Hyunjin was awake. He came out of the bathroom a minute later, holding his head.

You sat up.

"Oh, morning Y/n." He gave you a small smile, hissing as the pain in his head increased.

You hummed and got up, making your way to the kitchen and getting your best friend some much needed medicine.

He stood behind you patiently, and gladly accepted the pill when you handed it to him.

"You shouldn't drink like that anymore Hyunjin." You said in a serious tone.

Hyunjin shrugged. "I'll be fine, I do it all the time."

"Hyunjin, it's not healthy."

He shook his head. "I swear I'm fine. Plus, its fun."

"Fun? Hyunjin that's not fun at all!"

"You're telling me you didn't have any fun?" He raised his eyebrow.

"No! I didn't have fun! I sat there watching you get drunk out of your mind while you made out with Karina! Then I had to drag you all the way home and take care of you since you can't take care of yourself!" You scoffed.

Hyunjin sighed. "Well I'm sorry you felt that way, okay? I really didn't know, I swear." He says, trying his best to end the conversation..One thing you'd learned about him over the years of being friends, is that he absolutely hated confrontation.

You sighed. You couldn't stay mad at him, no matter how hard you tried.

"Just-I don't know.. Just try to be more aware, no more drinking like a maniac, okay?" He nodded.

He gave you a small smile and held out his arms and without hesitation, you eased right into them.

You let him gently push your head into his chest and he rested his chin on your forehead. "I'll do better, promise." He whispered.

You nodded, even though you knew very well that he was going to most likely do it again despite his words..but you wanted to believe him, you wanted to believe that he would stay true to his word, and that he wouldn't do it again.

You wanted to pretend that it was going to be alright.

Because in this moment, Hyunjin was yours.

He was your best friend, and he loved you and you loved him, even if the love that you had for him was a different kind of love that he had for you. It didn't matter, not now.

So for now, you'd just pretend...

And hey..at least he was sober.

______________________________________________________________

Hiii! Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed, I actually intended to make this longer, but I kinda got bored? Well I just didn't know how to continue, you know? But if anyone wants a sequel or another part I'd gladly do that!❤

#hyunjin #skz angst #skz fluff #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyujin imagines #hyunjin skz #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfic #skz imagines #skz x reader #hyunxjinnie

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hyunxjinnie · 8 months

Text

All your broken pieces (Stray Kids) Chapter 2, "Night terrors."

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Mentions of abuse (emotional and physical), mentions of alcohol and drug addictions, mentions of anxiety and trauma, possible mentions of blood.

You were laying in bed, contemplating whether you would go to work or not.

You really wanted to, but last night you had a horrible nightmare. You woke up screaming, and Noel had come and helped you calm down and tried lulling you back to sleep, but it didn't work.

So, now here you were, exhausted and terrified. You knew it you left the house it'd trigger your anxiety, in moments like these, you were obviously more sensitive and shaken up, so you usually stayed in bed all day.

You groaned as you reached out across the bed to find your phone. After a bit of searching, you found it tangled up in the blanket.

You called Jeongin.

"Hi! What's up?"

"Hey Innie...I can't come today, I'm sick."

You could tell that Jeongin was pouting as he spoke. "Oh..well I hope you get better! Do you need me to come over after my shift?"

"No!" You answered a bit too eagerly. "I mean..no, I'm fine, really! I'll be better by tomorrow."

Jeongin didn't speak for another moment.

Finally, he sighed. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow! Bye Y/n."

"Bye Jeongin."

You hung up.

The house was eerily quiet, but, you liked it that way.. Usually, whenever Noel was home, she kept the Tv on, because she couldn't sleep without noise, but you, you hated sleeping unless it was completely silent; and for the first few months, when Noel would leave the television on, you'd turn it off in the middle of the night, and it caused constant arguments between the two of you, until Noel had found out about your trauma and put her preferences aside. She had instead decided on using her headphones.

You tucked yourself into bed and tried to get some rest.

...

"Knock knock knock*

You woke up and checked the time. It was 7 pm.

Who the heck would be knocking on your door at 7 pm?

It definitely wasn't Noel, she got off at 8, and usually went out with her friends after work. Maybe she came home early?

You sighed and pushed the covers off your body with a huff.

You grabbed your pepper spray just in case, and went to the front door.

You looked through the peephole and gasped.

"Shit!" you muttered to yourself.

"Y/n open the door, we know you're in there!"

You took a deep breath, fixing your hair and trying your best to look like you hadn't cried your eyes out earlier from a nightmare, but you knew you looked pretty bad, you'd done nothing but sit in bed all day.

You took one more deep inhale and opened the door.

"Jeongin, I told you I was fine! You didn't have to come over, and you didn't have to bring everyone with you!" You whined.

"Yeah well I could tell something was up, and clearly you're not fine." He gestured to you and then let himself in.

You sighed as all the guys practically invaded your apartment. You loved them, but you did not want to deal with eight noisy guys at the moment.

As the guys set down all the food they brought, you went to the bathroom and brushed your teeth and combed out your messy hair. You still had very prominent bags under your eyes, but there wasn't much you could do about that.

When you came out of the bathroom all the guys were sprawled out all over the living room, hanging out.

You sat on the floor next to Felix who gave you a big smile.

You guys all had a good time, talking and laughing, until halfway into the hangout you started zoning out.

"Hey, you okay?" Jisung asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You hummed.

"Guys, I-i think I'm gonna head to bed now..I'm pretty tired. You guys can sleep on the couch, it turns into a sofa bed. An air mattress is in the closet and so are the blankets." You spoke.

You could see the guys looking at you worriedly, but you just walked to your room, unbothered by their stares.

You pulled the covers over your head and lulled yourself to sleep.

...

3:27 am.

That's what time it was when you'd woken up to your own screams.

Then you made your way to the bathroom and into the cabinet under the sink.

You thought you heard someone calling your name, but you couldn't tell, you were out of it.

You sat under the cabinet for about five minutes, and then you heard the door slowly opening.

You panicked, had he finally found you?

You covered your mouth and tried not to breathe.

"I swear I saw her go in here-" a voice spoke. You couldn't identify who it belonged to due to the squeaking sounds of the pipes under the sink, but you didn't even want to know.

You curled into a ball, quiet sobs escaping your mouth, as you desperately tried to hold them in.

And then the cabinet opened.

"Y/n?"

It was Chan.

Your sobs grew louder and you flung yourself into his arms.

"Shh, shh. It's okay." He whispered as he rubbed your back.

You heard someone else entering the bathroom, but didn't dare to look up from where your head rested in Chan's chest.

"She's okay, I got it, go back to bed." Chan spoke to whoever it was.

You sat there on the bathroom floor in Chans arms, in silence for a while.

"Chan?" You quietly called out, your voice hoarse and weak.

"Yes?"

"Please don't tell anyone about this."

"I won't, promise. Just, don't worry about that right now, okay?"

You sighed. "Okay."

...

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hyunxjinnie · 8 months

Text

they did this for me

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hyunxjinnie · 8 months

Text

All your broken pieces (Stray Kids) Chapter 1, "Employed"

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Mentions of abuse (emotional and physical), mentions of alcohol and drug addictions, mentions of anxiety and trauma, possible mentions of blood.

See the preview below!

...

You had to admit, it felt nice to be outside of your stuffy, boring apartment.

You'd only been outside for ten minutes or so, and it wasn't at all bad.

However, you did encounter a few screaming children, but other than that it was peaceful.

You walked for a few more minutes, until you found a cute looking café and decided to enter. You were greeted by the sound of a soft bell that rung when you opened the door, and a "welcome!" From the overly-enthusiastic cashier.

You seated yourself at the bar and another worker came up to you with a gentle smile.

"Are you ready to order?" He asked.

You nodded. "I'd like the brown sugar boba and one of the chocolate chip cookies please." You smiled back.

He nodded and headed to get your food.

You were surprised that you were able to order without stuttering. You weren't even that nervous, which was abnormal for you. You were usually a ball of nervous energy, fidgeting with whatever you could find, biting you nails, bouncing your leg, etc.

But this place had a calming vibe to it, which made you feel a lot better.

The lights were dim, and there were string lights hanging around the top of the bar, the scent of coffee and brownies infiltrated your nostrils, and the soft glowing of the sweet-cinnamony scented candles around the place gave you a good feeling.

You sat there, admiring the place, until the waiter came back with your things.

You thanked him and took a sip of your boba, which was actually pretty good.

Maybe you'd have to come here more often...

And you did..

...

The next day, you went back to the café and asked if they were hiring. Thankfully, they were, and you didn't even have to do a formal interview or anything! You were hired right on the spot.

The guy who had served you the other day showed you around, he introduced himself as Jeongin and introduced you to the three others who worked there.

The cashier, Yeji, was a bright and bubbly girl. She was good at math, and was considered the most mature out of all the employees. Despite her bubbly demeanor you'd learned that she had come to Korea after running away from her family because they tried controlling her life. You also learned she liked her coffee black with two packets of sugar.

The other girl who worked there, Minji, was quite quiet and shy. She only worked on weekends and was the granddaughter of the lady who owned the café, Lynda.

The last person Jeongin introduced you to, was Jake. Jake was Minji's cousin, and was actually pretty fun. He made lots of jokes and seemed like he didn't take his job seriously, but he was pretty nice.

After you were introduced to everyone, Jeongin showed you how to make some of the drinks. He'd also informed you that they rotated when it came to cleaning up and closing the café each week.

He'd also told you a bit about the owner, Lynda.

"She's nice, she's basically like our grandma. She's always out and about, but when she has time she brings us lunch! And she gives us gifts for holidays." Jeongin explained.

After he'd showed you everything, he instructed you to stick around until he closed up. So, you sat yourself down at the bar and observed your co-workers until it was closing time.

"Bye Y/n, it was nice meeting you!" Jake slung his bag over his shoulder and waved, Minji tagged along with her cousin and gave you a small wave as well.

You waved at the two as they left.

"Bye bye! Can't wait to work with you!" Yeji blew you a kiss and waved as she exited the café.

Now, it was just you and Jeongin.

"Ok! Soo, basically, when we close up we just make sure to sweep up and everything, and make sure the displays are locked, then I just turn off the lights and lock up." He pulled his apron off and hung it up on a rack in the back.

You watched as he cleaned up, so you would know what to do when you had to lock up.

Once he was done, he grabbed his coat and bag, made sure the front door was locked, and then motioned for you to follow him to the back in the kitchen.

You both left out the back door.

"Well, that should be it! You'll start tomorrow, is that fine?"

You smiled. "Sounds perfect."

...

"YOU GOT A JOB?"

Noel gasped in shock.

"Yes, is that so hard to believe?" You rolled your eyes.

"Uhhh, yeah! I didn't even think you'd actually leave the house! But you did. All my prayers have been answered!" She squealed in excitement.

You huffed and got up from the couch.

"I start tomorrow, so I'm gonna get some sleep."

Noel nodded. "Sweet dreams Y/N bear." She snickered.

You made a face of disgust. "Never call me that again."

She bursts out laughing.

(2 months later)

"Jeongin, give that back!" You shouted.

It'd been 2 months since you started working at the café, and to say the least, it was chaotic.

You had become close with everyone there, and once they'd all gotten comfortable around you, they started being themselves, and they caused lots of strange mishaps.

Currently, you were all getting ready for closing, and while you and Minji were washing the remaining dishes, Jeongin decided to take the soaked, soapy towel.you were holding, and he'd decided to play catch with Jake.

"Dude! Give us the towel back!" Minji whined.

It took some tag teaming effort from both you and Minji, AND you had to call Yeji over from where she was sweeping the front of the building to help, but you finally got the towel back.

Once everything was clean, Minji and Jake left first, while you stayed back with Jeongin and Yeji to close up.

You were about to leave, when someone came knocking on the door.

You jumped, taken aback by the sudden knocks.

"Uhh, Jeongin, Yeji? Someone's at the door..." You said.

Jeongin came to see what you were talking about, and instantly face palmed. He opens the door and the guy from outside came in.

He seemed a bit clumsy, but was charming, nevertheless. He had cute squishy cheeks, and light brown hair that looked like it needed a bit of a trim.

"Jisung, I told you to wait outside!" Jeongin said.

The boy, who's name was apparently Jisung shook his head. "No way man, it's cold and dark out there!"

Jeongin sighed. "You're a literal grown man Jisung, you'd be fine out there by yourself! Didn't you walk here?"

"Well, yeah." He shrugged.

Yeji came from the back. "Oh hey Jisung!" She waved and gave him a small hug.

"Hey!" He ruffled her hair and smiled.

Meanwhile, while all this was happening, You were just standing there against the bar.

"Oh, you're new. I've never seen you here before?" Jisung directed his attention to you.

"Oh! That's Y/n she's been working here for about two months now." Jeongin said.

Jisung hummed. "Well it's nice to meet you, Y/n." He smiled.

"You too."

...

You had no idea how long you'd been working at the café now, but you knew it'd been a good while.

You were able to help Noel pay rent, and you bought yourself more things now.

Jisung came to the café almost everyday to see Jeongin, and he'd formed a friendship with you too. Occasionally, he'd bring some of his friends.

You quickly learned that Jeongin and Jisung had been friends since middle school, and there were six other guys they were friends with in their entire friend group.

You'd met all of the guys, but of course you were the closest to Jisung and Jeongin since you knew them first.

Besides those two, you'd become good friends with the others too. Jeongin often invited you to join him and the group after work for dinner or just to hang out. It took you a while to accept the offer, but after him and Jisung practically begged you for the millionth time you agreed.

You're glad you did, because now you had an amazing group of friends.

Even though you were close with all the guys, you had yet to tell them about you're background and how you ended up in Korea. They'd asked you a few times, but you brushed it off and always changed the topic. Eventually they got the hint and stopped asking about it, they assumed you'd tell them on your own time.

There were a few incidents where you'd gotten triggered or had anxiety attacks, and you'd leave without letting the guys know, or telling them why and you felt terrible for worrying them, but you didn't want to burden them all with your trauma, even though the eldest, Chan told you over and over that they would always be there for you.

In all honesty, you were scared. You were scared that once they knew everything you had gone through in the past that they would leave you. You were traumatized and broken, and no one, not even you wanted to deal with that. Sometimes you got so overwhelmed and angry with yourself that you'd contemplate taking your own life.

You'd attempted to countless times in the past, but obviously it never worked, eventually you gave up and decided to just live in misery, but after moving to Korea it got a bit better. Though, there were still times where you wanted to just end it due to all the suffering you had endured in your life, and you realized you could never forget it or get rid of it.

No matter how hard you tried, it always came back. You'd have nightmares almost every night, you'd wake up looking around and then curling into a ball and hiding either under your blanket, or sometimes you'd go all the way to the bathroom and stuff yourself in the cabinet under the sink, convincing yourself it was safer there.

Even though your father was miles and miles away from you in another country, you were afraid of him somehow finding you and hurting you in your sleep.

The abuse had left you with anxiety and depression and self image issues, and you lived in fear constantly and you dealt with it all by yourself.

Well...until now.

...

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hyunxjinnie · 8 months

Text

All your broken pieces (Stray Kids) preview/part 1

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Mentions of abuse (emotional and physical), mentions of alcohol and drug addictions, mentions of anxiety and trauma, possible mentions of blood.

Words.

It's funny how they can affect you.

All you life, you've been spoken to with nothing but harsh words.

From your family, friends, teachers...No one had anything nice to say about you.

And since everything spoken to you was negative, you'd looked at yourself negatively, because, what was there to like? What was the to be positive about?. Nothing, right?

Well...

Besides all the negativity in your life, there was one person who'd managed to bring light.

Your mother.

Your mom had been the only good thing in your life. She'd tell you how beautiful you were while she braided your hair, and she'd make you smile by singing, telling jokes, and telling stories.

She was your escape from the horrid reality you both had to face. Your abusive father.

He was a drug addict, and an alcoholic.

He abused you and your mother every day and night. He'd curse at you and spit filthy lies and words towards your mother. As he beat her.

But even with the abuse and hurt going on, your mother still managed to be positive, and she did her best to shelter you. You can remember how she'd sweep you up into her arms everyday at noon, and take you to the cabinet under the bathroom sink, telling you that you were both playing hide and seek, when really your father was on his way home.

She'd tell you, "Daddy's not a bad person, he's just struggling", with tears in her eyes. Even though your dad was a bad person, a horrible person, she didn't want you to view him negatively.

Your mother was everything to you. She was the best thing in your life.

And then she died.

You remember it like it was yesterday. You could recite every detail about what happened.

Your father had gotten home early, he'd decided to take off work.

He busted through the front door, screaming at your mother, cursing and telling her she was a worthless little bitch, and saying something about her being a whore.

He was rambling and saying that she'd cheated on him, and that you weren't his child.

Your mother told him he was talking nonsense.

Your father slapped her in the face.

At the time, you had no idea what was happening, you were a clueless five year old. All you knew was that your mother was hurt, and your father had been the one to hurt her.

So you jumped into action, slapping your father on his leg and screaming.

"You hurt her, you hurt mommy! Stop it!"

He slapped you too.

The force of his hand coming down on you face caused you to topple over on the hardwood floor of the kitchen. You had a headache.

Your face was stinging, and tears spilled from your eyes and onto the pretty blue dress you mother had dressed you up in.

Your father had grabbed your mother by her hair, pulling her up to look him in the eye. You don't remember what he'd said to her, but the next the you knew, he was slapping her and beating her to a pulp.

Soon, she'd started bleeding from the constant abuse.

Your father grabbed her throat, and started choking her.

Her breaths came out in short gasps.

You had screamed at him to stop, seeing how your mother couldn't breathe.

Of course, he didn't listen, he didn't care.

Soon, the gasps from your mother were no longer leaving her lips. She was silent.

She was dead.

You remember crying as your father handed you a shovel and told you to bury her.

You didn't know what else to do, so you obeyed.

It took you an hour to drag your mothers body out the house and to the back yard, your bones were to weak.

You began digging a hole in the ground, and didn't finish until the next morning.

You had buried your own mother.

Your mom didn't work, and she had no family.. Well none that cared about her. Her family had sold her off to your father for money, so whether they knew she was dead or not, they didn't care.

No one had noticed your mother was gone.

The whole world was still going about their days like everything was normal, but not you. You grieved the loss of your mother everyday, crying yourself to sleep every night.

Your only source of happiness and protection was gone.

Your father didn't get caught, since no one noticed anything. No one knew who you mother was, so how could anyone report that she was missing?

Your father continued to abuse you.

He beat you, starved you, and did unspeakable things to you until you were strong enough to fight back.

The trauma of you mothers death hadn't hit you until you were about ten or eleven. You understood the situation better, and how fucked up it was.

But there was nothing you could do besides sit there and take the abuse and manipulation.

When you turned eighteen, you left the house immediately. You had no money, but it didn't matter, you just wanted to get out of that horrible place.

You lived in a shelter for three years, until you made enough money to leave the country.

You moved to Korea and started a new life...

...

"Come onnn y/n! It'll be fun promise!" Your roommate, Noel pleaded.

You shook your head. "El, you know I don't go clubbing! It's too loud, and there are creepy men there." You shuddered.

Noel sighed. "Ok fine, but at least get up and do something! I know your all depressed and shit, but have you ever thought getting out if this cramped apartment would help?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Fine, fine! I'll go out. But I'm NOT going to the club with you."

Noel smiled. "As long as you're getting some fresh air, I'm fine with it! I'll see you later tonight when I get back and you can tell me all about your day out!" She grabbed her purse and blew a kiss to you, yelling out a loud, "toodles" before shutting the door.

You groaned and fell back onto the couch, deep in thought.

After ten long minutes of contemplating whether you should actually get up and leave the house or not, you finally decided to get up and change.

You jumped into some leggings and tossed on your favorite oversized tee. You then grabbed your purse and phone, and you stepped out of the apartment and into the hallway of the building.

You inhaled sharply.

It had been a while since you'd been outside. Noel always went out to get the groceries and work. She was kind enough to pay the rent for the apartment, while you sat in your bed doing nothing.

Noel was right, it was time for you to get up and get out.

...

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