hopenobodyeverfindsthis

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

Oh my gosh, Ocean’s Echo was so good.  I never realized how much sci fi is my thing until recently. 

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

knight/lord ships are like. what if i would die for you. what if i wanted you to live for me. what if i wanted to touch you but could only be satisfied with being near you. what if i could touch you but only through the safety of our gloves. what if i couldn’t stop thinking about you right next to me. what if i bloodied my hands for you and never looked back at the wreckage. what then

#this trope gets me

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

Look, I’m certainly not going to play the new hp game and I wish others wouldn’t and that jkr wouldn’t get any more money but maybe waging a harassment campaign against every person that plays it isnt the most strategic way to go about things

#i blocked that game on everythign and am pretending it doesnt exist #but i have friends who are playing it and like #im not going to cut them off or endlesssly lecture them #i dunno sometimes it seems like people on the internet do not exist in the real world

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

I honest to god don’t know how so many people on the internet are affording their reading habits without going to the library?  

#so if you hate a book you just own it #it takes up space in your house #you can't return it #and they pile up and take so much space #when you could just return it to the library for someone else to read and hopefully like better #and even when i love a book i could always just check it out again #because it's still there at the library #anyway i feel like there's a discussion about consumerism #and shit #that im not smart enough to articulate

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

“lurkers DESTROY tumblr” is such an unhinged take i am sorry but you do you, lurkers. make your accounts. like your posts. reblog absolutely nothing if you don’t want to! if people block you from their blogs because you “look like a bot” fuck it lol. go find another blog to follow. the internet sucks everywhere no one needs to be scolded for using a platform “wrong”. anyway this is a lurker appreciation blog

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

My Top Ten Books of 2022

I read more than 100 books last year, and I thought it would be a useful exercise to list my top 10 favorites that I read for the first time if only so I can reflect a little and gush about my passion for books.  This is in the order I read the books; most of these books are so different it would be really hard to put in any real order (warning: it’s an eclectic list):

1. She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker Chan: This was the first book I read in January of last year.  It’s set in the 1300s in China; I remember it being advertised as similar to Mulan, which doesn’t really do the story justice, other than that the main character is born a girl, but lives as a man and becomes a military general. It was so much more than a Mulan adaptation; and it is quite dark. In particular, I loved the dynamic between the two main characters: they are on different sides of the war, but two sides of the same coin; they both don’t quite fit into society’s expectations of gender.  

2. Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi:  Gyasi is probably my favorite author I discovered this year; both Transcendent Kingdom and her other novel, Homegoing, are absolutely amazing and I cannot recommend either enough.  Transcendent Kingdom is about a neuroscientist who is also the child of African immigrants who is studying the science of addiction.  The story reflects on how her family has been impacted by addiction and the immigrant experience.  The prose is absolutely beautiful and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this story since I finished it.

3. Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler: I cannot believe I waited until last year to read Butler; her writing is as impressive as I’m sure you’ve already heard.  There’s not much I can say about Parable of the Sower that hasn’t been said a million times (all deserved), but I will say that I usually hate dystopias, even vaunted ones such as 1984 and a Brave New World. I read Parable of Sower fully expecting to hate it as well, and left simply blown away (and somehow even oddly optimistic about the future of humanity.)

4. The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich: This is the third book I’ve read of Erdrich’s and my favorite, though I’ve loved everything she’s written.  This story is based on the real life story of the author’s grandfather.  The story involves several characters living in reservation in North Dakota and their fight to lobby for their rights land and their identity.

5. Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid:  Look, I’m not going to try to justify this; I just love hockey and I love rivals to lovers and I love hockey romances and this one is the creme de le creme; it was written specifically for me.

 6. The Locked Tomb Series by Tasmyn Muir: I read several fantasy series last year, and I liked plenty of them, but the Locked Tomb is the one I can’t stop thinking about.  The characters are all super weird and unhinged and awful and I adore them all.  Their relationship dynamics are problematic and toxic and ridiculous and juicy.  I cannot succinctly describe the plot in any way that would make sense. I cannot wait for the final book.

7. Young Mungo by Douglass Stewart: This book gutted me; I rarely cry while reading books and I had to put this down so I could lie in a ball.  It’s a coming of age novel about a young queer boy coming to terms with his identity in set in Glasgow in I think the 1990s.  If you choose to read this book, please look up the content warnings, it is not in any way an easy read, but it did have a surprisingly hopeful ending, even if I was crying.

8. The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth: This is another surprising addition to the list; I am no longer really the target audience for YA, and I had pretty much sworn off YA romance after disliking a few others. But, I decided to pick this up on a whim and I’m so glad I did.  It is a very sweet wlw romance and coming of age story, but what really stuck out to me was the main character’s struggles with her mother’s early onset Alzheimer’s and how that affects her life.  I read plenty of very good wlw romance (Deliliah Green Doesn’t Care and a Restless Truth are two more I’d highly recommend) but this one stood out.

9. The Narrative of the Life of Frederic Douglass, American Slave by Frederic Douglass: I have read a good number of historical fiction novels which show the horrors of slavery, but while many of those are very very good, I didn’t really realize the extent to which none can really compare to reading a first hand account of the experience until reading Douglass’s work.  Like everyone, I learned about Frederic Douglass’s life, but sadly was never required to read anything he wrote in school.  He is an amazing writer and storyteller and a truly remarkable person.  Everyone should read this book at least once.

10. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: I had read part of this book in high school, but never actually sat down and read the whole thing.  I’m not usually a fan of horror, and I was worried it wouldn’t be my thing.  However, I shouldn’t have put this off so long.  Mary Shelley truly is the mother of science fiction and Frankenstein is an unforgettable experience. 

#books #anyway i know this is a dead blog #this is mostly for me #but if anyone sees this and wants to gush about books or book recs i would be happy

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

the more i read the less i even know what a good book even is

#how can you pick a favorite book #or a book of the year #or anythign like that #my standards are getting way too high and im so picky #and also whether i like a book often seems dependent on my mental state #and the vibe im feeling #rather than the book itself

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

sometimes im just absolutely devastated that a book i read does not have a massive fanbase and tons of fanfiction because the fandom that could exist around it would be so fun

#no offense but there are so many shitty media with fandoms #why doesnt the burning series fandom exist #i want to see fanart of my ships #and the insane shonen mc

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

has anyone else tried scrolling through youtube shorts and only had to wait a few minutes before being spoon fed right wing propaganda and vitriolic transphobia because it’s scaring me

#i have like every ad blocker privacy setting possible which sometimes evades algorithms #but still #youtube #im an adult and thankfully have just blocked every channel #but im pretty disturbed #is this what tiktok is like

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

i must once again criticize the girlbossification of mary shelley

#literally every classic has something that makes you go hmmmmmm #this didn’t age well #but it’s always super useful to note #yes this author existed in this period of time in this place and was part of this class #and was not a magical morally perfect human being but a flawed person influenced by their time period #and the work they produced still has meaning

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

my library almost never fails me but their selection of shitty queer holiday romances is pretty disappointing 

#i could request some and theyd buy it for me #they always do #but at what cost #look i just want to inject the queer equivalent of hallmark movies into my veins

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

I love you fairytale retellings, I love you mythology retellings, I love you re-imaginings of classic novels, I love you humans telling the same fundamental stories over and over again but in unique and thoughtful ways, and i love authors who obviously got their start writing fanfiction and still retain all the best parts of the fanfiction writing style

#anyway nothing drives me more crazy than someone's only criticism of a book being that it reads like fanfiction (derogatory) #whereas I read the book thinking 'this reads like fanfiction' (lovingly) #don't get me wrong i wouldnt want to only read books with that writing style #but there's a place for it #i love #reading #books

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

one thing i’ve realized is that as much as i love fake dating in fanfic, I almost always hate it in published romance novels

#i guess reading two characters i am already invested in in a crackpot situation that makes no sense is fun #but two characters i couldn't care less about is just annoying

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

being mostly aro ace is kinda weird because I dont know how to describe to people that I want someone to be my person, not like in a romantic way but not really in just a friend way either

#blaghhh #and how do you find anyone else that is looking for such an arrangment

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

i am so ridiculous because on one hand id like to make more friends but on the other hand i dont want to disrupt my beloved routine ever to hang out

#my routine is dear and perfect #we can hang out during the two designated socializing hours ive marked on the weekend #and only then #weeknights are already totally booked for my mental health #i just wish my existing friends didnt move all over the place #they get me

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

Why are most booktubers so annoying

#look reading sure shows how people can have wildly different opinions than me #even tho all my opinions are correct #obviously #anyway sometimes it seems bizarre to me that these people read 100s of books #and never go to the library

[hopenobodyeverfindsthis]

babel by rf kuang was one of my most anticipated works of the year and it’s not terrible or anything but its really not clicking for me and im pretty disappointed.

#there are so many good ideas #and her passion for translation is amazing #and i feel like i need more stories about how translation is used as a tool of empires because wow #but the actual characters are not pulling me in #the magic system is weak #or at least has not pulled me in #and i know it's a fantasy novel but i just cannot get past how modern all of the characters act #and dress #maybe it's just a matter of personal preference #ive never liked dark academia novels #even tho it is set in the 1800s #maybe it's because i read a lot of literature written in that time but i guess i was hoping it would read more like the characters actually #existed in the 1830s #anyway i have a hundred pages left and im struggling to finish #i know how it's gonna end and im just bored