hoffmanstits-enjoyer

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

abba girlie of my heart alphonse royo

#alphonse royo #players 1997 #my babygirl

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

Felt this was needed

#mark hoffman #saw franchise

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

#saw 5 #mark hoffman #peter strahm #hoffstrahm #saw franchise #pixel art

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

sucking dick is demeaning

Da Meaning of Life! Hell Yeah! 

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

May yr new year have more malpractice and homoeroticism than ever 🍾🫂

#house md #hilson #gregory house #allison cameron #james wilson #robert chase #eric foreman #hate crimes md

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

So a free tool called GLAZE has been developed that allows artists to cloak their artwork so it can't be mimicked by AI art tools.

AI art bros are big mad about it.

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

im sorry you are sad :( please think about Lawrence rocking full dad bod and glasses and barely makes it back from the school run before Adam is begging to get fucked over the kitchen counter

me before reading this ask: :(

me after reading this ask: :)

here be smut. minors dni.

*

Adam checked the clock. Squirmed. Scratched his jaw. Checked the clock again. "C'mon, c'mon..."

This was fucking agony. Lawrence never took this long to get back from the school run, and he chose today of all days.

The key turned in the lock; Adam could've barked like a dog.

Lawrence stepped through the door, looking much the same as he had in the five second window that Adam had seen him this morning; harried, lightly dishevelled, and unfairly hot for it. He must’ve slept through his alarm. His button-up, untucked, pulled slightly over the swell of his belly and hung open at the top few buttons, exposing a biteable sliver of lightly haired chest that he hadn't had time to hide behind an undershirt. His vest and jacket? Substituted for that stupid cardigan that made Adam feel insane. His fly? Unzipped. His hair? Still bearing visible tufts from where Adam had grabbed it last night. His glasses? Oh god, his glasses...

Adam leapt up, grabbed two fistfuls of brown yarn and hauled Lawrence down into a kiss that knocked the breath out of him. "Hey," Adam purred – at least he tried to make it sound sensual. He probably just sounded reedy and breathless. "Nice glasses."

Lawrence blinked, adjusting the black frames. "Thanks. I think the cat stole my contacts."

Diana's new kitten was turning out to be a little klepto, grabbing anything that could fit in her mouth and stashing it away at various hidden points in the house. They'd uncovered a couple of her caches, but god only knew the extent of her criminal empire. For this, though? Adam would happily let her keep her ill-gotten gains.

He kissed Lawrence again, and again, starving for it, walking awkwardly backwards and dragging him along until Adam was pressed between Lawrence and the kitchen counter. "It's a good look," he breathed, hand searching through the folds of Lawrence's messy clothes until he found the soft outline of his dick and ground his palm into it.

Lawrence made a startled noise, rearing back with hands on Adam's shoulders. "Jesus, Adam–"

Adam whined, hooking a leg round Lawrence's. "C'mon, Lawrence, I'm going nuts, here."

"Why?"

"Because – because you, you! You can't just go round looking like--" he waved his hand expansively – "this." He worked his palm in a slow, deliberate drag, satisfaction blooming as he felt a twitch of interest. "Jesus, you drive me crazy."

Lawrence looked at him like he was out of his mind. "Looking like what," he muttered, but there was colour in his cheeks, and his hips were rocking into Adam's hand unconsciously.

Adam dragged him into another kiss, breathing across his lips: "Don't worry about it."

He could feel Lawrence's will to be difficult dissolving. His cane hit the floor with a clatter and his big, steady hands settled on Adam's waist, his lips were warm and willing as Adam licked into his mouth. His dick was at half mast and grinding into Adam's palm. He hummed a low, intent sound into Adam’s mouth and honestly Adam was about ready to shoot off over it. Jesus fuck.

Adam fumbled at his belt. "Fuck. Fuck me." He shook his head when Lawrence grabbed him and started to back away, like he was gonna drag them to their room "Here. Right here."

Lawrence groaned, a mix of pleasure-pain. "We cook here,” he said, disapproving.

"I'm not waiting ‘til we get upstairs," said Adam, turning round in the narrow space until he had his back pressed into Lawrence, shoving his jeans down. "Been waiting long enough." He canted his hips back, grinning cheekily over his shoulder at Lawrence. "I may have started without you."

Lawrence let his forehead fall to Adam's shoulder, heavily. "Christ – lube?"

"Way ahead of you." Adam had already had thirty minutes alone and worked up to get desperate and sloppy with his fingers. He spread his legs eagerly, arms braced on the counter.

Lawrence fumbled for his own zipper – and cursed when he found it open. "Thanks for telling me my fly was down," he chastised, fumbling to take his dick out of his underwear. "Good thing I wasn't on my way to a high school."

"Please, it’s not like you were gonna be getting out of the car.” He ground back impatiently, shuddering when he felt the shape of Lawrence’s hard cock against his ass. “Di's too cool to be seen with her old man now, right?"

Lawrence snorted, giving Adam’s neck an admonishing nip that made his blood rush south. "I had to park round the block," he lamented.

"Aw," Adam simpered, fumbling behind him to dig his fingers into Lawrence’s ass. "Save the crisis for after you've fucked me."

"Such a charmer, Adam.”

But he grabbed Adam’s thighs and drove into him in one deep, hard thrust, so he couldn’t have been too mad.

Adam moaned like a damn whore as Lawrence sank in, rising up on his tip toes a little, squirming in Lawrence’s hands as he set a hard rhythm. Adam felt the breath getting knocked out of his lungs on every hard thrust. “Yeah, yeah, c’mon,” he begged, voice cracking. He whimpered pathetically as Lawrence forced him harder into the counter, the granite a solid, cool band across his stomach, too high to offer any friction to his aching dick. “Yes – oh, god, Lawrence–!”

He could probably stand to take the dialogue down a notch. But they were all alone for a change; and Lawrence liked him loud.

Lawrence grunted into Adam’s neck, kissing up along the length, pressing hot, panting lips up behind his ear. “I just woke up,” he grumbled, hands kneading Adam’s thighs.

“I know,” Adam panted, angling his neck until he could mouth sloppily under Lawrence’s soft jaw, reaching back to tangle fingers in his hair. “It’s hot.”

Lawrence cursed and grabbed Adam’s hands, pinning them flat to the counter and snapping his hips faster. “You’re a nightmare.”

“Uh-huh,” Adam’s voice came out strangled, pitchy. He whined, strung out and needy, writhing for more, more, more.

He didn’t know how long he let Lawrence fuck him senseless into the counter. He only knew that he was losing coherency with every second – and by the time Lawrence stuttered to a halt and groaned brokenly into Adam’s hair as he came, Adam was a loose-limbed, drooling mess on the granite.

“Shit,” Lawrence breathed, huffing for breath, nuzzling his face into Adam’s neck. His hand circled round, pressed warm and sweaty against Adam for him to rut mindlessly into. “C’mon, c’mon. You’re almost there.”

Didn’t take much longer for Adam to come with a broken whimper, squirming under Lawrence’s weight. “Fuuuuuuuck…”

Lawrence laughed breathlessly. “Satisfied?”

“Mmm – ah,” he gasped, deliciously oversensitive when Lawrence pulled out. He laughed as Lawrence gave his ass a light, parting smack. “Not bad for some lame dad.”

Lawrence grabbed him by the hips, flipped him over ‘til he was leaning with his back arched over the counter edge; leaned his weight into him heavily, probably starting to feel the fatigue of standing (pretty damn vigorously) without his cane for balance. Adam wasted no time getting his hands on him, feeling up Lawrence’s neck, that glimpse of chest – maybe sneakily popping another button or two. His hair was a bigger mess than before, haloed in soft blond flyaways that caught the morning light like his long, pale eyelashes. His cheeks were flushed, his glasses fogged and knocked askew. He was still wearing his fucking cardigan.

Adam hauled him in for a slow, lazy kiss. “Gimme ten,” he mumbled, reaching lower, sneaking his hands up Lawrence’s shirt to get his hands on that body. God, he wanted the knead at his belly like a cat. Maybe sink his teeth into it. “I’ll be ready to go again.”

“Adam,” said Lawrence, breaking their lips apart to rest their foreheads together. Perfect angle to give Adam a patronising look over the top of his glasses; as if that was gonna make him less horny. “I’m forty-seven. I’m going to need considerably longer than ten minutes.”

“So what,” said Adam, tongue in cheek, a mischievous glint in his eye. Lawrence wasn’t the only one who could play dirty. “You got hands.”

Lawrence sighed, but his hands dropped lower, shameless feeling up Adam’s ass. “We’re going to have to sterilise the counter,” he said, sounding irritated but resigned.

Adam laughed and attacked Lawrence’s shirt buttons in earnest, the sweet, sweet taste of victory on his tongue. “Better make it worth our while, right?”

*

taglist: @motherdanger @hoffmanstits-enjoyer @swazzielindazzie @taraiel @brainsforbreakfastt @bright-heart-raccoon @helloitsbees @adam-stanheights-right-hip-bone @williamschenk-banks @redscrawl

let me know in the tags/replies/dms if you want to be tagged when i post saw fic (and make sure you have settings enabled so you can be tagged/mentioned by other blogs, especially side blogs)

#dear christ on a fucking stick. this is some insane levels of fantastically horny- #this is so good sksbdnbdjdbddnb #adam is so valid for that. shaking hands with adam. dad bods are IT. holy fuck #god motherfucking bless ur writing #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #chainshipping #saw 2004 #saw franchise

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

I ship this ship because:

I have eyes

I can see

I am the smartest person in the room

I receive divine revelations about them in the dead of night, alone in my chambers

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

The fannish conundrum:

Not enough people are fans of this, I have no-one to talk to

vs

So many people love this, and I have so many people to talk to, and all of them are wrong

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

i....found a rare shoegaze tape. legit. band does not exist online. tape is at least 20 years old. This is so Sam

#important shit #love these wtfff #for later #obscure music

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

local teen copycat killer starts trapping people so john tracks her down but instead of trapping her he has a long conversation with her about the stresses in her life and how to better cope with them

#LMAOOOOOO #ACCURATE????? #mark hoffman #john kramer #love u murder pookie #saw franchise #sawposting

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

GENIUS???????

allow me to share my vision

#i wanna smooch ur brain #hoffstrahm #coffinshipping #peter strahm #mark hoffman #saw franchise #saw edit #sawposting

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

do you think lawrence ever dreamed about it. do you think he woke up feeling adam clinging onto his shirt. do you think he ever heard adam begging lawrence to stay. do you think lawrence heard him scream as the door closed. do you think lawrence ever went back to the bathroom alone after adam died. do you think he had nightmares. do you think he heard him scream. do you think he ever dreamed about it

#lawrence gordon #saw franchise #sawposting #chainshipping

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

Still new to sawposting, someone please tell me if I'm doing it right

#'sexually normal' me when i lie #op this is so fucking funny- #nothing more accurate than peter strahm bullying mark hoffman amirite fellas #mark's and peter's faces are killing me. why are they like this. #saw franchise #sawposting #mark hoffman #peter strahm #coffinshipping #hoffstrahm

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

8th edit so far

#BANGER??????? #william easton #john kramer #piranhashipping #saw vi #saw franchise #saw edit

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

Oh God soft...he's so soft

#god bless. my dick always knew #mark hoffman #saw franchise #sawposting