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Fic where nobody ever told Damian that his other siblings were adopted
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it would be so funny if dick was the only one in the family who actually has a resting bitch face. Like if you catch him off guard and hes not smiling your in for a treat, and jason would be so jealous bc he wants an rbf
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jason: hey dickface pass the maple syrup
dick who slept fifteen minutes then was called to breakfast: *turns around looking like hes glaring at jason and passes the syrup*
Jason: *in pure non lazarus pit fury* HOW COME HE GETS A RESTING BITCH FACE AND I DONT?!?
Dick now with pure confusion: what do you mean?
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i had one where the crocodile from the coco pops advert was in the fridge and wanted to eat me and my mother kept telling to just open it because he wasn’t gonna eat me but i KNEW he was
you ever have “cry and scream yourself awake” level nightmares that are immediately the stupidest premises imaginable the moment you actually wake up
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you ever have “cry and scream yourself awake” level nightmares that are immediately the stupidest premises imaginable the moment you actually wake up
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what's a tumblr influencer? what am i influencing? my mental illness? 😭
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this rave sucks they don't even have platypus controlling me
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Okay so I’ve been reading a lot of reverse robin AUs recently and I have a hot take. Duke Thomas should be the Dick Grayson parallel instead of Damian.
Hear me out. So bare bones Duke was the last to join in cannon, so he should be the first to join for reverse robins. But to get deeper into it Duke lost both of his parents at the same time setting him down a path of becoming a vigilante. He becomes Bruce’s ward instead of being adopted because he already was raised with two good parents and doesn’t want them to be replaced. He also created his own mantle that was the opposite to Batman, the light to Batman’s dark, inspiring hope against Batman’s fear. He’s friendly and works well and inspires others, but also extremely sharp and smart which people often forget.
Damian would work well as a batgirl parallel more. He would join after Duke but be a few years older, got there already trained and immediately jumping into crime fighting. Covering the areas that Bruce and Duke don’t fill. While Duke takes up his own name Damian would use a name more inspired by Batman himself.
I just think this dynamic of Bruce and Duke being the first dynamic duo would fit so well (also get to spotlight Duke who so often gets overlooked).
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Glasses people love to make you try their glasses on to see how fucked up their eyes are. It's a sign of respect in their culture.
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i get drunk and my first instinct is to insult batman villains. the bat family would love me.
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everyone of the gotham rogues are so lame.
like oh you’re twoface? the riddler? get fucked mate i’m trying to go to work.
the penguin? call me back when you’re the orca
rip to jason todd but personally i wouldn’t let a man called “the joker” kill me because im not a joke
batman needs to get cooler villains tbh
nightwing vs deathstroke? so cool
batman vs clayface? a toddler came up with this
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drunk thought:
scarecrow is such a lame villain name for someone who’s whole thing is based on fear like you couldn’t come up with anything cooler? who are you trying to impress? the crows? loser.
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i’m a sucker for justice league somehow don’t know about the batfam tropes but i also love baby dick being raised by the league
like dick is tiny and a menace and bruce is a single father™️ and the league is fairly new and small so they require a lot of his time.
and the league are all sceptical about a tiny child being a vigilante but when they meet dick and realise he’s sticking around they use their one collective brain cell to decide to step up for this child that going to fight crime one way or another.
so suddenly there’s 101 volunteers to teach dick how to fight and also various other skills that they want to pass onto this child (oliver is banned from looking after him alone after he tries to pass down the noble art of poker to the kid because it is useful batman i’m teaching him how to conceal his thoughts in front of an enemy)
on nights where bruce has monitor duty and alfred has a day off (because you can have a day off when there’s only one child to worry about) he just shows up to the watchtower with dick and whoever’s around and not busy takes care of him
and when the others start to get sidekicks there first instinct is to introduce them to their darling vigilante nephew who immediately helps them relax about the hero community (because hearing about how his uncle j’onn used to shapeshift to entertain him as a child or his auntie dinah always helps him play pranks on the others makes these godlike figures a lot less intimidating)
and dick adores his hero aunts and uncles and he’s a performer so naturally he revels in the attention
and when he’s in his angsty teenager phase and he’s mad at bruce he pulls the “i’m going to uncle clark’s” or “i’m telling auntie diana” and he goes and complains about bruce to them
and when he grows up they’re all just so proud of how brilliant he is as a man and a hero
and they all take pride in teaching the next generation but dicks the one they really watch grow up for the first time, just the ultimate oldest child (even though other sidekicks are technically older than him)
just dick being the one the league learn about children through.
(some of these characterisations may be dodgy i mostly know about the bat family haha)
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take my quiz losers
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