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Crowley has moved!
//The blog URL is the same (@hellinabentley), but the blog is new.  Come find me over there!
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Good Omens Masterlist
Reblog this post if you are an active RP blog in the Good Omens fandom and would like your blog added to our index.  Please note in the tags what character or characters you play and whether they are canon or OCs.
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Hiatus Notice
//I am extremely late saying anything about this, but I am putting all of my blogs on hiatus until winter break starts.  After that I do intend to get all of them back up and running.
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Hiatus Announcement
//Hey guys.  So this blog is going to be on hiatus temporarily.  If you’d like to know more about why, please refer to this post.  Charlie is my main blog for these guys, so she’s where I’ve got the whole big spiel posted.  Thank you for your patience!
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The fallen angel couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the declaration that Ramiel had offered Crowley the throne. “Of coursssse he did. Lucifer'ssss little pet humans, I wouldn’t exssspect anything different. They never much trusssted my lot.
“Of coursssse Lucifer wanted destruction,” Crawly shrugged. “Hisss sin was to love God and the angelsss more than humanity. Jealousssy and vanity. Be that as it may, he wasss a natural leader. How elssse do you think he took so many angelsss with him?”
Finally, he set the mister down. He didn’t know how well a human-born demon would understand all of this, but there was no harm in trying. “Much as I am loathe to admit, I have grown quite fond of the Earth and do wisssh to continue living on it. As does Aziraphale. That would be why we conspired to sssstop the Antichrist coming to power. In Lower Tadfield of all placesss. But while I am quite fond of Earth and have done my bessst to keep it spinning, I also understand that there is a natural order to things. Was I pleasssed about the Apocalypse? Mossst certainly not. But I understand that it is part of an ineffable plan. A part of the fabric from which creation isss woven.”
He wasn’t quite sure how much better a job he could do at explaining this. These were the sorts of situations where his feathery frienemy was most useful. Not that Aziraphale would probably make it much more clear, but he would be able to drone on about ineffability until this demon gave up and left.
Crawly actually cringed when Crowley told him what his angel partner in Apocalypse aversion had decided was a good name. Even if he was cross with the demon for breaking into his home, he could at least sympathize with his angel-related plight. With a note of sympathy, he commented, “Not that you would ever be able to passsss mine off as any sort of agent, but he'sss at least been on Earth assss long as I have and has learned to blend in. Mossstly. You sssseem to have been stuck with a novice. We jussst had a witchfinder general attempting to kill our witch. Easssily dealt with. Don’t sssee what use human huntersss could have have done you in sssstopping the Apocalypse.”
hellinabentley:
Crawly spread his wings and narrowed his eyes ominously when Crowley stepped towards him. Well, the red eyes were certainly interesting. He wasn’t quite sure if he was remembering correctly, but he thought that designated a crossroads demon. That was unexpected.
“Perhapssss if you don’t want your leadership questioned, you shouldn’t go breaking into people’s flatsss,” Crawly hissed, quite literally and quite irritably. “I’ve not heard of thessssse Winchesters you’ve had to deal with, but Lucifer seemssss like the opposite of a problem. At leasssst he bloody well knew what he was doing. There’s a certain ssskill to delegation.
“And you might remember, depending entirely upon how much attention your highness deigned pay to sssuch trivial matters, but you’re not the only one who'sss stopped the Apocalypse! I suppossssse you don’t remember when the world nearly ended in the 1990sss. I wasss the only demon willing to put a stop to it. Had to team up with a bloody angel. I don’t mind Aziraphale every year or so, but that… And what did I get in return? Hasssstur and Ligur trying to kill me!”
He wasn’t even trying to mind his hissing at this point. It didn’t matter all that much, after all. But that did bring one more thing to the forefront of his mind. He rolled his eyes, ignoring the demon in front of him, and muttered, “Go to the Garden, Crowley. It'ssss no big deal, all you have to do is offer Eve some fruit. It'ssss easy. Nevermind that we’re going to maroon you on Earth for the rest of your unnatural life with that bloody bleeding heart angel from the Eastern Gate.” He hissed in irritation, ruffling his wings. “Oh don’t worry, we’ll ssssend Hell’s most unpleasant to harassssss you about the sort of work you’re doing, but we won’t bloody tell you when there’s been a bloody uprising.”
He rounded on Crowley again, glaring daggers. Only figuratively, of course. He had his collection of actual daggers close at hand, though, should he need them. “And how doessss a crosssssroads demon wind up on the bloody throne of Hell, precisely?”
Crowley’s blood was positively boiling as he listened to the other demon speak. He was the King of Hell, he was perfectly entitled to burst in on whatever demon he saw fit. And Lucifer was the opposite of a problem? Then again, it wasn’t like he could expect a rational opinion of Satan from a demon - particularly one who had followed him down from Heaven. But… if he cared about the world, if he’d bothered to save it… he must not know his old boss as well as he thought he did, or else he didn’t care about the world as much as he implied.
Crowley was about to press the point when the other Crowley’s rant stopped him cold. This was the serpent from the Garden of Eden? Well, that would certainly explain all the hissing. If circumstances were different, he might actually be glad to meet such a famous demon. He was responsible for bringing sin into the world, after all. But however impressive his past work was, now wasn’t the time to discuss it.
“I’m not your average crossroads demon,” he brushed off the question curtly. “Ramiel offered me the job - I accepted. But that’s besides the point. Do you honestly think that Lucifer wasn’t a problem? I mean, sure, most demons don’t have the brains to be anything other than awestruck by him, but you seem to have a mind of your own - that is, if you’re being honest about saving the world. All Lucifer wanted was to end the world, to crush his daddy’s toys. All he cared about was destruction. If I hadn’t stopped him, the world would be a wasteland by now.
“And don’t whine about having to work with with an angel - the angel that I was stuck with thinks that ‘Agent Beyonce’ is a good cover name for an FBI agent. And on top of that, I also had to work with the Winchesters - who, by the way, are the deadliest hunters on the face of this Earth. And this wasn’t just once, mind you - I was the only demon saving the world with a band of misfits numerous times. And then I got ridiculed for it!”
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Crawly spread his wings and narrowed his eyes ominously when Crowley stepped towards him. Well, the red eyes were certainly interesting. He wasn’t quite sure if he was remembering correctly, but he thought that designated a crossroads demon. That was unexpected.
“Perhapssss if you don’t want your leadership questioned, you shouldn’t go breaking into people’s flatsss,” Crawly hissed, quite literally and quite irritably. “I’ve not heard of thessssse Winchesters you’ve had to deal with, but Lucifer seemssss like the opposite of a problem. At leasssst he bloody well knew what he was doing. There’s a certain ssskill to delegation.
“And you might remember, depending entirely upon how much attention your highness deigned pay to sssuch trivial matters, but you’re not the only one who'sss stopped the Apocalypse! I suppossssse you don’t remember when the world nearly ended in the 1990sss. I wasss the only demon willing to put a stop to it. Had to team up with a bloody angel. I don’t mind Aziraphale every year or so, but that… And what did I get in return? Hasssstur and Ligur trying to kill me!”
He wasn’t even trying to mind his hissing at this point. It didn’t matter all that much, after all. But that did bring one more thing to the forefront of his mind. He rolled his eyes, ignoring the demon in front of him, and muttered, “Go to the Garden, Crowley. It'ssss no big deal, all you have to do is offer Eve some fruit. It'ssss easy. Nevermind that we’re going to maroon you on Earth for the rest of your unnatural life with that bloody bleeding heart angel from the Eastern Gate.” He hissed in irritation, ruffling his wings. “Oh don’t worry, we’ll ssssend Hell’s most unpleasant to harassssss you about the sort of work you’re doing, but we won’t bloody tell you when there’s been a bloody uprising.”
He rounded on Crowley again, glaring daggers. Only figuratively, of course. He had his collection of actual daggers close at hand, though, should he need them. “And how doessss a crosssssroads demon wind up on the bloody throne of Hell, precisely?”
hellinabentley:
Crawly just raised an eyebrow at him in response. Something about that didn’t add up. The story felt, quite frankly, like someone reading lines from a cue card.
“That still doesn’t explain why you chose to break into my flat,” Crawly replied in a bored tone. “I’d think, if you were trying to maintain your position as king, you’d do something with a bit more, oh I don’t know, flash?”
His flair for, well, flair had quite possibly been the thing Hastur and Ligur had hated most about him. And there was a long list of things for them to choose from, so that was saying quite a bit. Honestly, though, did no one in Hell believe in grand entrances anymore? The least this demon could have done was put some thought into it. This was why Hell was failing. No imagination.
“If you didn’t know I was in London, evidently you’ve not been paying attention,” Crawly went on. “For, oh, about the last two thousand years. Not very kingly, that.”
He hissed again, this time out of genuine annoyance. “Although, that would explain why Hell seems to be falling so far behind the times. Leadership needs to pay attention to what everyone else is doing.”
Crowley looked at him in disbelief. Something more flash? Seriously? He was all for making a dramatic entrance when the occasion called for it, but he was tired. The past few days had been extremely long and filled to the brim with more than most could handle in a year. And this other Crowley was offended that he had added more pizazz to his entrance?
“What did you want me to do?” he snapped, his genial mood slipping. He already hadn’t had any patience when he’d arrived here, and now he had just about had it. “Drop in from the ceiling? Jump out of a cake?”
Oh, and now he had the nerve to imply that he couldn’t do his job. All of these demons thought that he should be able to balance everything perfectly, but he would like to see one of them try to rule Hell and not make a mess of it. Civility be damned, he’d had enough.
His eyes flickered a smokey red as he took a step forward. “I haven’t been around for the last two thousand years, and excuse me for not reading through every boring, tedious record in Hell when I have more important things to do! Do you have any idea what it’s like to have the most moronic demons grovelling at your feet day in an out, trying to get you to solve all their problems for them? And on top of that, I’ve had to deal with Lucifer, the Winchesters, and maybe it’s escaped your notice, but the world has nearly ended several times in the past few years. I know most demons don’t care, but in case you haven’t noticed, we conduct business here, so I’d prefer to dedicate my efforts to ensuring the world stays spinning, rather than BABYSITTING EVERY BLOODY DEMON ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET!”
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Crawly just raised an eyebrow at him in response. Something about that didn't add up. The story felt, quite frankly, like someone reading lines from a cue card.
"That still doesn't explain why you chose to break into my flat," Crawly replied in a bored tone. "I'd think, if you were trying to maintain your position as king, you'd do something with a bit more, oh I don't know, flash?"
His flair for, well, flair had quite possibly been the thing Hastur and Ligur had hated most about him. And there was a long list of things for them to choose from, so that was saying quite a bit. Honestly, though, did no one in Hell believe in grand entrances anymore? The least this demon could have done was put some thought into it. This was why Hell was failing. No imagination.
"If you didn't know I was in London, evidently you've not been paying attention," Crawly went on. "For, oh, about the last two thousand years. Not very kingly, that."
He hissed again, this time out of genuine annoyance. "Although, that would explain why Hell seems to be falling so far behind the times. Leadership needs to pay attention to what everyone else is doing."
hellinabentley:
Crawly narrowed his eyes at the demon. Who apparently really was called Crowley. But he could recognize strategic flattery and wasn’t impressed. What was more disconcerting was that apparently this regime change had taken a fair amount of time and he had never been notified.
“Let’s say I believe you” Crawly began. “If you’re the King of Hell, then why are you in my flat? Lucifer had henchdemons to run his errands, and he certainly didn’t stoop to breaking into people’s flats.”
He stretched his wings, very casually, so as to appear unconcerned whilst still demonstrating precisely what he was. He let out a soft hiss as well, just for good measure, letting his forked tongue flick briefly past his teeth, his canines just a tad too long and narrow. Crawly was well aware he still retained some of the serpent. But while usually that was something he tried to hide in the name of blending in with the locals, in this case it might be an advantage. This demon seemed intimidated by him. Which was good, if a bit unexpected.
“Come on,” he prompted. “I’m sure there’s a wonderful explanation for this. I warn you, though, if it has anything to do with paperwork, I will be very unhappy.”
Flattery was clearly not doing the trick with this one. Crowley wasn’t too terribly surprised - in his experience, those of angel stock didn’t flatter easily. It had been worth a shot, though. The thing about being in situations like this one - knowing that you were outmatched physically, so it all came down to wits - you often had to experiment with many strategies until you found the one that fit your opponent. With any luck, this would be achieved before said opponents’ patience wore too thin.
Crowley didn’t miss the way the fallen angel drew attention to his inhuman attributes, ensuring that Crowley couldn’t forget what he was dealing with. So, intimidation was how he wanted to play it, then. It wouldn’t be wise for Crowley to try to beat him at his own game, especially when he likely couldn’t back it up. But something about his story had made this other Crowley stop and listen, so perhaps he should just stick with the truth. After all, lies could get so complicated and messy, so why bother when the truth could serve his purpose just as well - or the partial truth, anyway?
He did his best to keep his expression unfazed by the intimidation attempts, fixing his face to portray only casual interest. “It’s quite simple, really. I’m on vacation. Even the King of Hell needs a break every once in a while. But when I arrived in London, I caught wind of another demon in the area - rather defeats the purpose of getting away from other demons, wouldn’t you say? So, I figured I’d stop by and ensure I wouldn’t be in for any nasty surprises whilst trying to relax.”
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Crawly narrowed his eyes at the demon. Who apparently really was called Crowley. But he could recognize strategic flattery and wasn’t impressed. What was more disconcerting was that apparently this regime change had taken a fair amount of time and he had never been notified.
“Let’s say I believe you” Crawly began. “If you’re the King of Hell, then why are you in my flat? Lucifer had henchdemons to run his errands, and he certainly didn’t stoop to breaking into people’s flats.”
He stretched his wings, very casually, so as to appear unconcerned whilst still demonstrating precisely what he was. He let out a soft hiss as well, just for good measure, letting his forked tongue flick briefly past his teeth, his canines just a tad too long and narrow. Crawly was well aware he still retained some of the serpent. But while usually that was something he tried to hide in the name of blending in with the locals, in this case it might be an advantage. This demon seemed intimidated by him. Which was good, if a bit unexpected.
"Come on," he prompted. "I'm sure there's a wonderful explanation for this. I warn you, though, if it has anything to do with paperwork, I will be very unhappy."
hellinabentley:
Crowley noted the strange demon’s expression when he removed his sunglasses. That was odd. Granted, he hadn’t been to Hell in a few millennia, but he didn’t think is eyes were that strange. He found himself beginning to get truly angry with the strange demon, however, when he claimed to be ‘Crowley, King of Hell.’
“Look,” he said flatly, eyes narrowed in displeasure. “It’s been a few thoussssand years since I was downstairs, but I’m not an idiot. There’s a certain order to things. Good old Morningstar, king of bad influences, is ruler of Hell. Not some… used-to-be human. And I know the humans are fond of ‘sinister’ sounding names when writing about our kind. Believe me, one can only sssshare a planet with Aziraphale for so long without learning about all of their little literary quirks. But do you know why they’re so fond of the name ‘Crowley’ for demons? They got it from me. And I think I would have bloody well noticed if I had been promoted to king!”
Lowering the mister just a tad, Crowley stepped around his plant stand. He wasn’t an overly tall man, so he he needed every bit of his height of he was going to seem imposing. Although his too-sharp teeth and his serpentine eyes didn’t hurt.
“Now,” he seethed. “You can tell me who you really are, or you can get out of my flat. Either way, I’m more than a bit tempted to simply destroy you, unless you give me a very good reason why I shouldn’t.“
This demon was actually being honest. He really was that out of date with his information. Wow, he’d heard of (and witnessed) demons not keeping up before, but this was… wait, ‘used-to-be human’? But that would imply that this demon wasn’t a human-born demon. And that would imply… bloody hell. Crowley just had all the luck with fallen angels, apparently. Lucifer had hated him for stealing his throne, and now this one apparently hated him for stealing his name. This was just great.
Okay, he definitely needed to rethink how he was playing this. He reworked his expression to be more cordial, a smile turning up his lips slightly. “Well, I suppose that makes you my namesake, then. It is an honor to meet you.” He inclined his head slightly towards the fallen angel. A bit of flattery never hurt anyone, after all.
The real issue was how to explain that he was king. Saying that he had defeated Lucifer would certainly sound impressive and might make this Crowley second-guess picking a fight with him, but it could also anger him, if he had been a loyalist. He hadn’t gotten where he was without taking risks, though. “I am telling the truth, as difficult as it may be to believe. Lucifer and I have been playing musical throne for some time now, and I won. I do hope that’s reason enough not to destroy me.”
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Crowley noted the strange demon’s expression when he removed his sunglasses. That was odd. Granted, he hadn’t been to Hell in a few millennia, but he didn’t think is eyes were that strange. He found himself beginning to get truly angry with the strange demon, however, when he claimed to be ‘Crowley, King of Hell.’
“Look,” he said flatly, eyes narrowed in displeasure. “It’s been a few thoussssand years since I was downstairs, but I’m not an idiot. There’s a certain order to things. Good old Morningstar, king of bad influences, is ruler of Hell. Not some… used-to-be human. And I know the humans are fond of ‘sinister’ sounding names when writing about our kind. Believe me, one can only sssshare a planet with Aziraphale for so long without learning about all of their little literary quirks. But do you know why they’re so fond of the name 'Crowley’ for demons? They got it from me. And I think I would have bloody well noticed if I had been promoted to king!”
Lowering the mister just a tad, Crowley stepped around his plant stand. He wasn’t an overly tall man, so he he needed every bit of his height of he was going to seem imposing. Although his too-sharp teeth and his serpentine eyes didn’t hurt.
“Now,” he seethed. “You can tell me who you really are, or you can get out of my flat. Either way, I’m more than a bit tempted to simply destroy you, unless you give me a very good reason why I shouldn’t.“
@xevenwheniloseiwinx continued from here.
Crowley raised an eyebrow at the man’s comment.  No, not man.  Demon.  Lovely.  That was just splendid.  A new henchdemon sent to try to persuade him to follow a more traditional course, no doubt.  Crowley set his sunglasses aside - no point in hiding his eyes from a demon - picked up his plant mister and stepped over to his arrangement of ferns.  It seemed a perfectly innocent act.  And besides, the holy water wouldn’t hurt the plants.
“Are you the replacccement for Hastur and Ligur, then?” he asked, hissing in annoyance.  “I did rather figure that would be the last I saw of those two.  I’ve told them downstairs that their methods are outdated and what I’m doing here will prove beneficial in the long run.  If they’ll just give me a few decades.  What difference does a few decades make in the long run?”
This demon, though…  While he seemed self-assured enough, he also seemed harried.  Crowley held the mister steadily at a level just above the tops of the plants.  It would be easy enough to mist the invading demon.  “You could at least have the courtesy of breaking into my office instead of my home.  But seeing as you’ve already done that, you could at least give me your name.  So that I know what to call you when I toss you out.”
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Conversation
Good Omens Sentence Starters
"Don't think of it as dying, think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush."
“The future came and went in the mildly discouraging way that futures do.”
“All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.”
“You don't have to test everything to destruction just to see if you made it right.”
"What he did was put the fear of God into them."
"Heaven has no taste, and not one single sushi restaurant."
“People couldn't become truly holy, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.”
“Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers.”
“If you sit down and think about it sensibly, you come up with some very funny ideas."
"I mean, maybe you just want to see how it all turns out."
"Maybe it's all part of a great big ineffable plan. All of it. You, me, him, everything."
"You start thinking: it can't be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire.”
“It has been said that civilization is twenty-four hours and two meals away from barbarism.”
“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.”
“Why are we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that.”
“Loyalty was a great thing, but no lieutenants should be forced to choose between their leader and a circus with elephants."
“I feel like I am involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell me the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
“If you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.”
“But that's how it goes; you think you're on top of the world, and suddenly they spring Armageddon on you.”
“Overexcited? No! I'm getting very calmly worried that someone might shoot me!"
“Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto You. Kill or Be Killed. Either Shit or Get Out of the Kitchen. Survival of the Fittest. Make My Day.”
“It was nice to think that mankind made a distinction between blowing their planet to bits by accident and doing it by design.”
"I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next."
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@xevenwheniloseiwinx continued from here.
Crowley raised an eyebrow at the man’s comment.  No, not man.  Demon.  Lovely.  That was just splendid.  A new henchdemon sent to try to persuade him to follow a more traditional course, no doubt.  Crowley set his sunglasses aside - no point in hiding his eyes from a demon - picked up his plant mister and stepped over to his arrangement of ferns.  It seemed a perfectly innocent act.  And besides, the holy water wouldn’t hurt the plants.
“Are you the replacccement for Hastur and Ligur, then?” he asked, hissing in annoyance.  “I did rather figure that would be the last I saw of those two.  I’ve told them downstairs that their methods are outdated and what I’m doing here will prove beneficial in the long run.  If they’ll just give me a few decades.  What difference does a few decades make in the long run?”
This demon, though...  While he seemed self-assured enough, he also seemed harried.  Crowley held the mister steadily at a level just above the tops of the plants.  It would be easy enough to mist the invading demon.  “You could at least have the courtesy of breaking into my office instead of my home.  But seeing as you’ve already done that, you could at least give me your name.  So that I know what to call you when I toss you out.”
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sneme (snake meme)
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Open Starter
The first thought that occurred to Crowley was that he should really invest in a better lock. He had warded the place as best he could, given he couldn’t ward against demons without locking himself out of his own home and there wasn’t a warding spell in the world that would work against humans. They were like cockroaches that way. With a sigh, he asked in a dangerously apathetic tone, “And just what is it that you’re looking for?”
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The Magic Roundabout: Swindon, England.
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Archetype Quiz
The quiz is here.
40% Visionary
Leave it to others to live by the status quo. The Visionary is interested in new ways of seeing, solutions not yet imagined, products not yet built.
35% Royal
When the Royal walks into a room, they command attention. They are the one in charge, and they enjoy reaping the rewards of their hard work.
25% Rebel
The Rebel is comfortable throwing caution to the wind—and bucking the system—if that means getting their point across.
[[Crowley is a self-proclaimed big picture sort of demon.  He’s the ideas man.  And he hasn’t be shy about telling Hell that.  He enjoys coming up with new ways of corrupting souls, and he’s never been one to let anybody tell him what to do.  He’s also never been one to deny himself the things he wants.]]
Tagged by: @perdiditpuerorumposts
Tagging: Anybody.  (Don’t really have people to tag here, either.)
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Underage RPers
[[So I have gone through and marked all of my blogs explicit in the blog settings.  This should in theory make them inaccessible to people who are under 18, since Tumblr does not let people under 18 turn off safe-mode.  However, I do still have in my rules that I will not RP with anyone who does not state somewhere on their blogs that they are 18+.  I also have made two different posts about this already.  And as I stated, I do not care if it’s in your blog description, your rules, your about page, your mun page, whatever.  Just as long as it’s there somewhere.  So if you come to me asking to RP and do not have that listed on your blog, I will ignore you.  I’m getting fed up with people not reading my rules.  Consider this your third and final warning.  This is the last post I will make about this before I start blocking people.]] 
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“A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing.  Funny if we both got it wrong, eh?  Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?”
                                                                                                   “Not really.”
Heavenlybookseller and hellinabentley.  Indie Aziraphale and Crowley from the novel Good Omens.  Semi-private, selective, and non-exclusive.  Written by C.S.
Aziraphale - Rules - About - FAQ - Navigation
Crowley - Rules - About - FAQ - Navigation
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