hell0kittyland

[hell0kittyland]

😭😭😭 I’m thinking of buying for tommorow LMAO that’s 68 cans… I might go on a 3 week fast if I do this but the fucking LOOSE SKIN DHDJDJ the issue with fasting is forget exercising bitch you’ll barely be able to move omg I gotta get skinny for summer bye

#@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny #star ⭐️ #⭐️ve #4norexla #tw ed but not sheeran

[hell0kittyland]

You guys I’m not gonna lie I’m the most inconsistent ED page and it’s mainly cause my home life is very fucked up

Second reason is cause I don’t have it in me to do those vicious fasts, in order for them to work I have to be in the right mindset, you might be like ‘um Ed doesn’t work like that!’ You’re not wrong but I have adhd like actually diagnosed from a psychiatrist. So I just know I’ll never go through with it unless I logically see something for me. Essentially my body is really gross, my weight is not my biggest issue it is a lot of shit such as uneven skin tone, loose skin, SCARS, stuff like this… meaning I’m going to well have to focus my energy on evening and clearing my body so that when I do go back to fasting I can see a USE FOR IT. We all starve so we can look nice essentially right? To wear the clothes you’ve always wanted, well for me the biggest issue was I was so fat before that genuinely you could see even with modest clothes I was a whale, now because I’m tall being like 135lbs it looks slender on me and I can hide it good enough. Hence why I’m like trying to get a job so I can buy expensive shit like Tretonin and ext to make my body smooth cause like we said I can’t do shit about those stretchmarks but I want to even out my skintone and have my skin soft and no dark scars ext so that when I do loose weight again I can not have in my mind a voice going “what’s the point you can’t wear a crop top anyways cause of uour non weight related issues”

Does that make sense? Tldr: cannot actually loose weight in my usual ruthless ways if other issues are hindering it

Basically my life currently is just maintaining my weight until I’m okay to start my shitty habits of living off Coke Zero which requires so much mental commitment and self hate I’m just waiting for the conditions to be right essentially I’ve been plateu the same weight since January IJBOL

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

Today I weighed 65.5kg

I managed to do

12 minutes of tread mill speed walking/ jogging/ running, 10 squats, 10 lunges, 10 sit ups, 10 high knees, 10 crunches, 30s plank (failed 10s left 💀)

The treadmill got me omg my legs were jelly… that and my ass is spine is boney even though I’m skinny fat there’s not much fat in some areas and is it painful as FUCK to do sit ups on my woody ass bedroom floor I couldn’t even do 1 barely but after heaving I did 10 shitty ones 💀 and I told my mum not to cook for me for the rest of Ramadan and she agreed so I can freely fast now cause I got force fed today and it’s too much and I’m gonna order some diet coke off Amazon in bulk to get through this

But like exercising was interesting I’m literally doing it as motivation to get a boyfriend bye

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

im doing this for the thigh gap. im doing this to be the girl i write poems about. im doing this to be skinnier than my boyfriend (oh my god, it is so disgusting and embarrassing that i’m fatter than him). im doing this so when i run my hands over my stomach i don’t feel chunks of fat. im doing this to be worse than her. im doing this to be thinspo. im doing this to feel comfortable naked and in bikinis. im doing this so my boyfriend will ask me if i’m ok. im doing this for a summer body. im doing this for a slutty outfit body. im doing this for the jealous stares that i used to give other girls. im doing this to be the perfect anorexic girl. im doing this to be better than her. im doing this so i don’t hate myself.

[hell0kittyland]

I feel like if I looked this skinny the stretchmarks wouldn’t matter too much do you know what I mean? And I’m tall with long legs that are skinny by nature cause I don’t really store fat but it’s like bitch… what is this like 45KG for me 😭 I’m like 20kg off omg

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

Does anybody here on Ed tumblr have insane amounts of stretch marks and I don’t mean a little I mean like WOAH how many kids mama? Oh no kids? … like that’s how many I have you would think I’m a mother of 3 LMAOOOO

Well if you guys do have it - how do you cope with loosing weight but still being insecure about it? Cause it’s like are you still gonna wear crop tops and stuff cause the fat isn’t the only issue …. It’s lowkey soooo demotivating ngl any advice

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

Good morning I’m so sick 😭 my sister gave me a cold she got from the nasty little kids at her TA job and I’ve been bed bound but like maybe I’ll loose some weight? Ahah??

[hell0kittyland]

The way it’s Ramadan in my house… even tho I’m not personally religious but like lowkey nobody notices if I fast cause hello there all fasting? Like isn’t this perfect… the issue is when they break there fast they make huge greasy foods and stuff and always make me food so it’s like girl I don’t want it … I’m gonna start saying I’m sick or make lies up

And I’m gonna order Coke Zero cans again and start walking on the treadmill in my house for 10 minutes a day and I’ll start learning to teach my body to exercise cause I’m sedimentary whatever it’s called when ur a couch potato… bitch I don’t exercise … all my weightloss is through pure starving — NOT GOOD LOOSE SKIN UHH so …

I’ll start and give a end of day diary of what I ate and weigh even if I’m ashamed of me gaining weight it’s embarrassing on this page ngl I only like posting when im doing well but let me atleast try a 7 day water fast and then do a days break and I’ll do or try to do

10 minutes of tread mill speed walking/ jogging, 10 squats, 10 lunges, 10 sit ups, 10 high knees, 10 crunches, 30s plank

Yeah the exercise routine is pathetic but yall need to know like im not that bitch to exercise I would rather die I’m extremely lazy… so I’ll increase it

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

This is so triggering

[hell0kittyland]

Lowkey tempted to start drinking alcohol as a coping but it has so many cals … smoking isn’t for me ngl drinking is

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

Cut off at 4 pm and you’ll wake up with a completely flat stomach

[hell0kittyland]

MARCH goals … 🪶

reach bmi: 18.9 (57.8kg)

Currently 20.9 (64.1kg)

——————

Fast for atleast 20 days (water/ Coke Zero)

——————

Try and exercise atleast 1 hour a week…

——————

start body care (skin care for body)

——————

hair care (hair masks atleast once a week)

——————

nail care (trim and oil and cream)

——————

Take hoards of supplements (vitamin C, D, E, A ext)

——————

Teeth care??? (Work to earn enough to finance braces / teeth cleaning dentist?)

——————

Loose 5 inches off waist (waist is currently 27 inches) (hips are 36 inches) (bust is 35 inches) (thighs are 18 inches)

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

Manifesting entering the 50kg range by mid march please Ana heavens!

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

I weighed myself this morning and the bitch was 64.5kg … well atleast it’s 2lbs from my old last weight before I logged off here… close enough

ouu yeah my home life is insane my mom fake threatening to kick me out of our house because she’s a narcissistic actual psycho and even if it’s a fake threat 1. I’m moving out as soon as I can but I’m only 20 let me kms 2. I’m going to starve for this entire month of march so I can look so sick she’ll leave me tf alone for good

[hell0kittyland]

She’s so pretty let me kms

[hell0kittyland]

When he asks for nudes but your body is actually fucking disgusting so you have to decline even though he already sent you nudes…..

Lemme kms

#ed not ed sheeran #i want to ⭐️ve #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #⭐️rve #3d f4st #f4tsp0 #sk11ny

[hell0kittyland]

I think to cope with my horrific life and really bad abuse at home I’m going to start drinking/ smoking in secret. Lowkey already plan on killing myself anyways so when I get this new job I’ll be buying some bottles and hiding them in my room along with cigarettes which I’ll smoke with my bedroom window open ext that and alcohol has so many calories😭 smoking doesn’t so…