hehemylifestories

[hehemylifestories]

Gosh Darn Breakup

 I know break ups are hard but dang, never knew they were that bad. It’s like you're lying there in pain and wanting to be with that person. But you can't, they're gone, they aren’t with you anymore. You yearn for them, yet they are the one you're crying about…

You know that feeling when you miss someone so much and you know that you will never see them again. More specifically see them the same way. That feeling when they were your everything and now they aren’t. That feeling when you both had plans for the future with each other and you know they won’t happen. Dates you had planned together for when they were going to come back over and see you. You got rid of them because you were both tired physically and mentally of the long distance. And the fact that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate and keep his scholarship, which means not achieving his goals. So you broke up with them in the hopes that they are more able to better themselves. Because u jus’ knew that u were the thing holding them back. And now that they are without you, you are proud of them for growing, but disappointed in the fact that you made the decision to not be there with them through their growth. But u don’t want them to see that you miss them. Not like they can anyways, they’re so far away. You miss everything about them. You miss their contagious smile, the random noises they make when they’re bored or stressed, the “flirty” wink, the little scars all over their legs from when they were younger, their smell, their fav food binge sessions at 2 in the morning not caring how loud they are, their baggy clothes, their ur mom jokes at the wrong moment. Their love for the game of basketball, their love to learn, how their eyes light up when they talk about becoming a doctor for NASA with you. You knowing the whole time you won’t make it with them. U miss their quirky things. Their tendency to walk and talk flawlessly all the time except for when they start skipping. Where they then have a tendency to trip and face plant or another time ( which is even funnier) when they can’t say a single word because they are so excited so it just comes out as a blur of words.

Long distance relationships sucks butt. You only get to see them so often, and when you do it’s only for a short amount of time. To top it off you have strict parents that don’t know about the relationship. So u have to act normal all the time, clear insta and iphone messages and calls clear emails and deliveries to u. U have to act okay when you miss them or something happens between you, when u get excited or think about them, u stomach down the emotions. Your love for them and excitement has to be kept a secret to all, even the closest of friends in the hopes that no one will know or find out and tell your parents.  Even more so, they won’t talk to you now because times are messed up and you broke their heart. His friends won’t answer you, his instagram page hasn’t been active for the last 2 months, his parents don’t even know about him cause they don’t care, his teachers haven’t seen him in their classes because of the corona, etc. You start to get worried, even though you aren’t together anymore you still worry about them. You still love them. That’s how you know a relationship was a healthy one. You both miss the shit outta each other and it feels like ur heart is dying when u break up with them.It kind of feels empty on the inside, like something was legit just ripped out. And no one else understands because most haven’t had that feeling before. But you know it’s going to be better for them if you seperate.

Moments I miss with them:

The late night talks

The date watching the stars in the random field/trees

Hide and go seek in Walmart

Buying each other random socks that were cool

 Riding around town with them with the windows down

Almost getting killed cuz he just had to move the hair out of ur face while driving 

Laughing so hard when u both pulled all-nighters for school work 

Testing each other’s knowledge in languages

 Random nicknames that sound cool in other languages but in all reality are words like chicken nugget

 Me being his “bishcotti” or some crap which supposedly meant chicken nugget in greek 

Their eyes when they look at you how they sparkled but at the same time u could sense the love coming from them. U could see the sorrow in them but how when they looked at u everything else faded away

Calling him rain checker cuz he took so many rain checks on ft calls cuz of him being tired from school work 

The deep stares you give each other meaning that you are each other’s worlds

 Knowing that life without them will be difficult 

Both eating our hearts content and not giving a fuck about what we might feel like afterwards

When u feel sick and they ft u the whole day through classes and everything to make sure that you are ok

writing a love letter and when he got nosy u ate the sheet of paper so he wouldn’t see... almost choking because he was tickling u to try and get it out of ur mouth from laughing

Only fighting once and that was on the day of the break up

 Not fighting because you understood that fighting is dangerous, so instead if you get mad u talk about it and work it out 

Learning to love ourselves more and grow stronger with each other 

His laugh when he was tired

 How his accent changed from a deep southern accent to a thick greek boi accent

Having thick offs at 3 in the morning

 Pulling all nighters to talk to each other 

Discussing things that hurt us in the past and how our kids won’t have the same thing 

Knowing that his parents hated him and having to mom him every now and then

Complimenting him on looking good and handsome because he did, but more so he needed that confirmation 

Wearing his clothes while he was away

Having him send my things and his hoodies over to his friends and having them give them to me so that we wouldn’t get caught 

Loving each other with everything we had 

Knowing that we had been through friends deaths together, seen too many things then we should have and continuing to push through

 Both having to deal with mental disorders because of shit we’d been through in the past 

Days where we would go out looking like hot trash together

 Doing modeling shoots together 

Playing basketball at random gyms to see who was better

Debating on who was better at playing basketball, who was smarter, who looked better in what

 Wearing a sports bra and him strangling u to put on his hoodie because “he couldn’t take me in just a sports bra and spandex” 

Not wanting each other for sex 

Wanting each other for the relationship, for love, to put the best in each other’s lives 

Growing in every aspect of our lives

 Style changing from hoe to bro

 Finding who each other looked like P

LAYING/DANCING IN THE RAIN 

The night where I got stuck i the mud and couldn’t get out, and you stood there laughing your tushee off instead of helping 

Making jokes about that night for forever 

Him ordering food in the drive through and us changing seats and him moving to the back to see what their reaction is 

Laughing our butts off when we go people watching

 Learning that love is a choice and u have to keep pushing for more because you become addicted 

Corny pickup lines 

Corny nicknames only when we are around each other and no one else 

Loving the little mistakes the other one makes because they remind us that they are human too every now and then

Him wearing your hoodie and it looking better on him than you

 Him stretching your favorite shirt and buying you another one because he felt bad 

When he got drunk the night after his parents hurt him so u had to take him to one of his friends houses and stayed the whole night with him to make sure he was ok and didn’t have nightmares. He also drunkingly kissed you without paying attention and said i love you so purely. Then saying “shit, that was too early in the relationship wasn’t it.” Him not remembering a single thing in the morning except for what his parents did to him, and waking up next to you shaking 

u waking up to him shaking and rubbing his back and talking to him, telling him that everything was going to be okay 

How he always slept with a knife in his hand and when u tried to move it he gripped it tighter, so u had to talk to him and tell him it was you and he would slowly lose his grip

Waking up in his arms after a nap and not wanting it to end 

Debating which dessert was more delicious 

Baking together and making huge messes

Icing getting all over each other’s faces and just kissing it off

Trying to bake cool stuff and failing gloriously 

Going to random stores and trying on clothes and acting how models aren’t supposed to

 Risking getting arrested over stupid stuff

Climbing those electric eiffel towers and watching the sunset/sunrise  

Falling off of things because u were goofing off 

Trying to sing to a song because i love it and u just sitting there admiring my “talent”

Dressing up like i’m going to one of my model shoots so that you can show me off to ur toxic friends and mean exs 

Wrapping ourselves up like tortillas with blankets and wobbling to the bed and flopping on and laughing because we look so stupid 

Watching the stars and talking about our goals in life 

Talking about weird dreams we had and what they might mean

Talking about how God puts us in certain situations and loving how He gave us each other

Sleeping with each other’s fav stuffed animals

Play fighting in public and we both ended up on the floor laughing 

Playing basketball with each other and u bear hugging me so i can’t score

When we played basketball that one day and i scored in your face, and started to leave but u said “hey come here”, and u pulled me in hugged me and said “i’m gonna miss you too” hugged me tighter i looked up and u kissed me on my forehead then u said “i love you” 

afterwards we texted the whole night

Not being able to drop u off at the airport or say goodbye because life happened and u calling me the whole time and telling me it was going to be ok

Sweet talking to me in greek 

Learning french together because ur both such nerds

Both of us having glasses because we stayed up too late as kids to read books in the dark

 Doing morning devotionals together 

Managing school work and life together

Discussing plans for each other’s week, who was staying in better shape, etc. 

Talking about how each other were doing and answering honestly

Asking for advice on how to keep going when life got rough 

Him cussing out old teammates because he would get so mad.. Like jus to me not to them 

Never going on a roller skating date because we both didn’t want to get hurt or have to pay for the trip to the ERRRRRR

Never going on local dates so no one would see us and recognize who we are 

Getting a pet fish together and taking care of it, naming him bob and bob was too well taken care of; both of us crying when bob ross da fish died

Having a mini funeral for bob

 Watching romantic movies for comedy because they are so pathetic 

Laughing at how pathetic sex was in movies and what we would do if we actually did it 

Playing strip or dare

Him trying to teach me how to do my hair and makeup 

Him laughing at me for being such a tom boi and not having any idea how to dress up 

Picking out outfits for each other

 Trusting each other to be around the opposite gender and not having to worry 

Allowing the other to have girl best friends and not care because he was loyal like that

TRUST

Praying together 

Only three of his friends knowing about me, and telling me how much he thinks about me and what he thinks of me

 Learning how much he’s sacrificed to reach his goal 

His friends calling me after we broke up and telling me how much he missed me, me explaining to them that I was what was holding him back. Them disagreeing and telling me that i was what kept him alive most nights when his depression got bad 

Learning how to calculate the time distance and waking up at 2 in the morning so that we could talk. 

Giving up so much time to talk with each other about EVERYTHING, every lil’ thing from what we ate that day to how our breath changed just slightly in math 

Him making fun of me for not being able to understand simple math because i over thought it like usual 

Helping me with basic high school stuff, and how to get an easy A his way

Climbing random things

Running through random parking lots 

Running together

 Getting high off of dopamine and endorphins and saying the stupidest things and laughing… then later making inside jokes off of how high we were 

Hitting the wall as they say after running for so long, and just sitting there laughing in the middle of this neighborhoods road 

Making christmas cookies together and having to make a whole new batch because we ate all the cookie dough

Icing the cookies and getting icing all over each other and the kitchen.. 

Wiping it off by hosing him with the kitchen sink sprayer. His reaction being to take his hoodie & shirt off saying “dang, u could’ve just asked me to take it off.”

Him grabbing me and just holding on tight 

The long lasting hugs after not seeing each other for long periods of time When I was sick and him coming to school to see the “bros” but in all reality coming to see me

When i fell asleep scared after THAT night, him taking his hands through my hair telling me he would always be there for me, him getting ice and trying to help the bruise go away, staying the whole night w/ me and reading stories to me until I went back to sleep. Waking up shaking and him talking softly and rubbing my arms until I calmed down. Making me dinner because I hadn’t eaten that whole week to make sure my brother had enough food for lunch. Making me eat. Helping me calm down everytime I started crying cuz of the stuff that happened. 

After THAT night, he always checked in on me when he heard I was acting funny. If he ever saw me flinch at a sudden  movement he would apologize and help me calm down.

 HE HELPED ME COPE W/ MY ANXIETY & DEPRESSION

If he ever noticed a bruise he would persist to ask where it came from 

Growing over my fear of swimming with him lovingly forcing me to swim with him at first in his arms going slow then eventually to where i went on my own

#urwannabeotpidekfandomsumsumtiggitytag #otp #ship #love #bftohoefriend #lovehim #misshim #don't tell him I miss him #cute

[hehemylifestories]

Little Fishies

You ever jus sat down and thought about life and become so depressed about it that u become a child again. Like for real tonight that happened to me and now I'm sitting here watching live runs of aquariums and their fishies. While eating fruit snacks, Nilla wafers, and drinking apple juice. I’m also wrapped in a fuzzy blanket with socks on and in my fav pjs so like yeah that’s my life. 

[hehemylifestories]

Dude #1

I This all started at the beginning of 7th grade year, but this moment is fast forward to Freshie year. This dude and I had been flirting with each other for forever, anyways here’s the scene:

It’s my last day at this school cuz I’m leaving for another the next day (something else was going on really bad at the school at the time but that’s not this story), I had just come in from a run and I was hot 

I see him as I’m walking down the hall and I snicker cuz he’s getting harassed by his mom(a teacher at the school). He heard me or sum, cuz he looked up, made eye contact and gave me a death glare. By the time I got down the hall after grabbing my bags, his mom was in a meeting and it was just him and I in the hall. He looked at me and said, “You look hot” with his devious smile.Me being my awkward self said “thx, I jus ran 0.5 of a mile.” Then for like 15 minutes we just sat there and talked. Eventually tho, I took of my shoes off cuz they had mud on em from running the short bit I did and I got up and started sliding up/down the hall in my socks.  He, being boring, didn’t join me and jus sat there shaking his head and chuckling at me. So I slid up in front of em, put his computer aside, and grabbed his hands and pulled him up, despite him resisting. Once I got him up tho, he told me I was doing it wrong the whole time and told me to watch him. For 10 minutes we jus slid up and down the hall bumping into each other, walls, and lockers laughing/giggling our heads off whilst making fun of each other, until eventually one of the teachers in the meeting came out and made us stop. 

Being the hungry hippo I am, I slid down to the local vending machine in that building.. with him sliding behind because we both hungry hungry hippos. After. I got my food and he got his, we started sliding back up the hall and stopped. We heard basketballs. Both of us played basketball at the time so we slid down the hall, grabbed our stuff and raced to the gym. So I was hungry and kept going to our vending machine and he followed, then we heard basketballs in the gym and we had to go cuz ya know we both love basketball. 

We slid right back down the hall, where the little imbecile pushed me into the wall to get his stuff quicker. He grabbed one of my two bags, and slid off laughing like a maniac. I got up grabbed my other bag and slid on after him. 

[hehemylifestories]

dude #2

So this happened a while back. I was at a sleepover with a few friends that I wasn’t very fond of but they had food and I was trying to get over a breakup so I went. The whole thing was pretty boring but I was determined to muster through it. About halfway through, they started talking about guys, of which a few of them were my x’s closer friends as well as mine. I didn’t want to breakdown and be made fun of by them so I got up and left the room, and thankfully to my convenience they didn’t seem to notice 

I found some food, ate all of it, found some more food, ate it, and so on. Then I got tired, so I walked around their humongous house and found an empty bedroom far away from the girls. It had a shower and smelled really good and seemed pretty clean so I chose that as my room for the night. I got a shower and placed my towel, old clothes, and phone near the door so I wouldn’t forget it. Then I watched a love movie, cried some, cleaned my face again, and played some video games. (These are important details trust me pls.) By that time it was 10:30, and I wanted to leave early the next morning so I drug myself up to the bed and just layed on top cuz I was too tired to go under the covers. 

At about 11:30 I think, I heard a sound like the door opening, but being me and not giving a crap, I sighed it off and went back to sleep. A few moments later tho, I felt someone shifting me under the covers and tucking me in, they also kissed my forehead and whispered gn... I probably should’ve been more concerned but honestly I thought it was one of her parents. 

Continuing on, I woke up again to the sound of the shower curtain opening. I sat there wondering who it was and as curiosity got the best of me, I rolled over and got out of bed (I’m in just a bra and short spandex, so not very covering and very very cold).. as I was going to open the door to the bathroom this girls older brother, who I forgot about, opened the door. A wave of shower heat and the smell of this dude’s body wash hits me (the whole time I was thinking shiiiittt, wtf did I walk into)

This dude was like the high-school hottie if ya know what I mean, he was ripped, had a tan, curly dirty blond hair with blue eyes, and he was standing right in front of me with only a towel wrapped around his waist 

I stood there shocked, while the whole time he’s jus leaning on the doorway chuckling and smiling to himself, for a solid minute or two I stood there freaked out, meeting eyes every few second and in-between he would look at the ground then me, then my eyes, then my lips(which was super uncomfortable). eventually tho, I mustered up enough courage and said “so umm, how ya doin?” in the most country accent ever, and I had a voice crack :(((

He chuckled, bit his lip while moving his hair and said “I think my night jus got a bit better” in a soft deep voice, he picked me up and set me on the bed. after that he walked over to his drawers grabbed him some underoos, a sweatshirt, and a blanket. the next thing I know this heavy blanket was thrown on top of me, I hear a laugh, a stumble, then a crash, with a “I'm ok” 

I asked if he was dressed and if I could take the blanket off

him: yes, u can take the blanket off now.. glad ur worried about my safety

then he said under his breath “ur so innocent” in a kind of tone that makes u embarrassed about it 

I pulled the blanket off eventually, and noticed him standing there blushing and breathing hard with a cut on his eyebrow, as well as a crashed flower vase near him... how in the hell the rest of the house didn’t hear it surprises me to this day.. I got out of the bed quickly and ran to his bathroom to get a 1st aid kit and a towel for the mess. we cleaned up the mess and despite his persistence that he didn’t need help, I eventually made him let me help him. as I was bandaging him up tho, he pulled the sweatshirt closer and closer to him, wrestled me down and forced it over my head, (we were laughing the whole time, no abuse here) he looked at me smugly and said ”sorry, I couldn’t take u that close to me in just a bra and spandex, plus u looked a lil’ cold” 

I replied “no I think u could've, ur jus weak”

him: mhm, ok (stands up with me sitting on his lap and is now carrying me like a big baby), I'm weak u say. Is this weak? 

and at that moment he body slammed me on his bed laughing like a lil’ kid the whole time(u know the Elmo laugh, imagine that with a deeper country voice twang to it) he then plopped right next to me. we both sat there for awhile cracking jokes and jus laughing, eventually to where we couldn’t breath and we jus talked, talked about the things in life we appreciated, talked about the things we didn’t appreciate and so on... later on he said this “how’s ur relationship with brad?(that wasn’t his name but for the story purpose it is now my past self’s, x’s name)

I didn't know what to say, we broke up like 2 days before, I jus broke down crying, he pulled me to his chest and was like “shhh, sshhh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up, I didn’t know” I replied, “it’s ok, u really didn’t know” after that for a minutes we talked about it, and the whole while, he was taking his hands through my hair, and kissing my head 

him: he’s the one that lost sum then jus saying.. anyways I don’t blame u for coming in my room, my sister’s a bitch, there’s a reason my room is on the opposite side of the house

me: laughs with a sniffle, maybe jus a bit

him: I knew u’d agree, starts chuckling, and pulled me in even tighter now where I could smell his body wash coming off of him, “I got u if u ever need anything”

eventually I fell asleep in his arms 

we woke up the next morning, layed in bed in each other’s arms for a few and we got ready with each other, (after we got our underclothes on of course, gawsh, we were only 16 and 17)... as I was putting on my shirt he walked over to me grabbed the shirt from my arms, and gave me his, saying “this will look better on you”, he also gave me his hoodie “cuz I looked cold again” ok buddy sure, anyways we talked from about 7-8, then went downstairs for breakfast, I made us some waffles and he poured us some chocolate milk, we ate then I realized that it was already 9 and I needed to head back home. I cleaned up and started walking up the stairs, w/ him following cuz, we didn’t want to get caught downstairs by the girls, about stair 6  I looked back at him to laugh and missed the stair step completely face planting in the process as well as sliding down the stairs too. he caught me, picked me up like a baby again and carried me back up to his room. 

he plopped me down and we jus looked in each other’s eyes.he put it hand on my face and said “u have some chocolate milk on ur lips”, leaned in and fucking kissed me, I pulled away cuz I got nervous and he looked at me like oh no what did I do wrong then he replied “sorry, I should’ve asked, I'm moving a lil fast umm I'm gonna go grab something” I felt so bad, I didn’t mean too, I jus was so nervous cuz of our relationship previously 

I started to head out, and went to grab my stuff, I then started looking around frantically for my phone, he said “oh I have it, I jus had to put my number in for u”

pretty sure I blushed right then, he then said “oh, btw u need to return those clothes, and when u do i’ll give ur shirt back.oh and we’ll work on ur balance while we’re at it? so umm... (he was so nervous, it was adorable) u free Friday night, cuz I don't mind showing u how? you should text me for details” and then he smiled and I hugged him goodbye and he hugged back and idk man that was a pretty damn good night 

ok I didn't realize how long this post is but I jus started writing and it all came out.. pls don’t hate on me 

#notanotp I wish this were just a story otp shipthatneversailed #otp ig ship #I wanted it to happen so bad #otp #ship