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this is so funny to me and I want this to be canon

Found Boy Facts

-they kept tracking in mud and who-knows-what-else so Regina had to institute a “no shoes in the house” policy. there are now piles of shoes a foot high next to every entrance. no one remembers which belong to whom. the boys generally just dig through the piles until they find something that fits. when friends come over their parents are sometimes confused as to why they come back with different shoes than they left with, but Regina always buys the nice brands (otherwise they’d wear through shoes even faster) so they don’t really mind

-breakfast is always kind of a clusterfuck. regina feels a little bad that she doesn’t have time to make big breakfasts of pancakes or waffles and stuff as often for the boys as she used to for henry, but they all seem to love the quicker, fun breakfast options anyway. she buys poptarts and dino egg oatmeal by the case.

-she knows her boys smell. the shoes, the sweat, the crusty socks some of them hide beneath their beds… 108 Mifflin honestly reeks. still, regina’s proud of how often she’s convinced them to shower. biweekly is a hell of a lot better than the “once every never” they bathed in neverland. she buys as much deodorant and cologne as they’ll agree to use. it’s never enough.

-it’s difficult to keep track of discipline when you have like 20 children. she uses an excel spreadsheet to remember who’s grounded.

-regina would vent her frustrations in rapidly muttered spanish until she realized one of her blonde sons was a spaniard who’d been translating to the amusement of the other boys. she started letting off steam by poofing to her crypt, screaming as much as she needed to, and poofing back home with a more level head. henry, who (unbeknownst to regina) likes to hang out down there poking through fascinating magical stuff sometimes, finds this hilarious.

-mother’s day was overwhelming. there is only so much breakfast in bed that one woman can take why did they each feel the need to contribute something. there are so many flowers everywhere. she has three papercuts by the time she’s done opening cards. she loves every minute of it.

-there are no less than five gaming consoles at the mills house. and three basketball hoops.

-every few months they take a day trip to boston to do some shopping, see the sights, generally just get out of lil storybrooke for a while. it was the third or fourth trip with her troupe of somewhat-domesticated sons when she finally put gps trackers in each of their jackets.

-they go through so many carrots. regina won’t buy them too much potato chips or cheetos so they generally have fruits & vegetables for after-school snacks. they once collectively ate five pounds of clementines in one day.

#regina mills #lost boys #extreme crack #regina mills mother to every child she can find #regina and her slightly domesticated children

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"Belle hates Regina for locking her up"

"Belle and Regina aren't friends they never interacted"

actually according to this picture I drew of them that isnt true and they are best friends!

#regina mills #belle french #once upon a time #ouat #ouat humor #regina mills x belle french

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"For the last time Regina Mills, you can't dramatically pretend to be dead every time we go a couple days without having sex," exclaimed an entirely exacerbated Emma Swan.

"But, orgasms sustain me...," whispered the prone brunette through only slightly parted lips.

"Regina!"

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The actual The show

villain: villain:

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Rumple: Alright now show me your best evil laugh.

Young Regina: Ok!

Young Regina: *giggles*

Rumple:

Rumple: this is going to be a long day.

#regina mills #ouat rumplestiltskin #ouat rumple #once upon a time #ouat #ouat humor #ouat imagine #ouat incorrect quotes #ouat incorrect #goldenqueen #golden queen #rumple/regina brotp

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oh regina you are fooling nobody

Regina: Snow thinks giving me the silent treatment when she's mad is a punishment. Joke's on her, it's the best present she could ever give me.

#regina mills #snow white #right after this was said 2 dozen snowbelles 'magically' appeared at Snows door

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only snow could kill a pet rock

Emma: *Reading a letter* Regina: Well, what does it say? Emma: It’s a confession letter. It turns out Snow killed Billy. Regina: ... Regina: Who? Emma: *tearing up* My pet rock.

#ouat #emma swan #snow white #regina mills #swan queen #incorrect quotes #regina carried out her vengance ofc #(she put sugar in the charmings salt shaker)

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Emma: They don't make them like me no more. I'm the last of my kind.

Regina: Thank god.

#regina mills #emma swan #swanqueen #once upon a time #ouat #ouat humor #ouat imagine #ouat incorrect #ouat incorrect quotes #swan queen

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Regina: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I'm late... I was... doing things.

* Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Snow: * Out of breath* SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS.

#regina mills #snow white #mary margaret #once upon a time #ouat #ouat humor #ouat imagine #ouat incorrect #ouat incorrect quotes

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Emma: Books are just tattooed dead trees

Regina: I like the way their corpses smell

Belle: I collect their corpses and display them in my room

Snow: What is wrong with you people?!

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Swan Queen Onion Memes 1

#disastertown is storybrookes real name

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Regina: This bloodline stops with me

Belle: That’s the most unhinged way of saying you’re a lesbian

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Regina: well me and Rumple always had a spark

people that headcanoned Rumple as Regina's bio father:

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE GENRE OF ART

lesbians when they pull up to the function to kiss eachother and get wine drunk 🗣

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another list of ouat tidbits that I have seen in so many swanqueen fics that I just regard them as canon

Henry calls Regina mom and Emma ma

Pongo loves Regina

Snow and David basically adopted Regina as their fixer upper daughter in law

The swan-mills family do not call Neal Jr. by his name, ever

Granny likes Regina a lot but doesn't ever admit it

Kathren and Regina made up

Tink and Regina are buddies

Ruby and Emma are buddies

Henry is the biggest swanqueen shipper you will ever meet

emma is an insanely jealous person and she totally flipped out when she found out about Mal and Reginas thing back in the EF

Emma is also very strong

regina is a total bottom

#regina mills #emma swan #swanqueen #swan queen #once upon a time #ouat #swanqueen fandom #swanqueen fanfiction #swanqueen headcanons #regina mills headcanons #emma swan headcanons