gginalee - Tumblr blog

gginalee

It's a Mad House!

I'm 21, Originally from Newcastle now shacking up in London, and this is mainly gonna consist of film/t.v references and whatever else I get my kicks from.

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gginalee · 7 years

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A Story of Anxiety- Just talk To Me So I've never written about my anxiety. I wanted to keep it from the world. I still do. I feel like talking about it openly is all well and good, but you see, that's how the 'bad thoughts' can start. What if they make fun? What if they treat me differently. They won't understand. They won't believe me. They'll just think I'm being dramatic... Well the other day at work, they found out wether I liked it or not. Now fellow anxiety sufferers will know what I mean when I say everyone's anxiety attack symptoms are different. There are also different levels. In the past, I've had low key attacks at work. Not exactly full on attacks, usually it'll be the racing heart, a few tears, slight paranoia. However I have my coping mechanisms and can usually calm myself down in 10 mins. Well this time, it was the racing heart, the paranoia, panic, the immediate streaming tears, the uncontrollable shaking (that was a fun new one for me). Needless to say my colleagues were stumped. Some of them knew of my anxiety. Some didn't. But all were useless. I'm not saying this because I'm angry with them. They couldn't know. They couldn't understand that while all they were seeing was an upset colleague, I felt like I was self destructing internally. 'Are you ok?' 'Don't let this place get to you' 'sit up and tell me whats wrong' 'when do you think you can get back to work?' I don't blame them for the way they handled it. In my experience, few people know what to do when someone they know mysteriously breaks down for no reason. (Hint, it's not to bombard them with questions). One thing I knew always helps me is for someone to just talk to me. Talk AT me. About anything. Your life. Your breakfast. Space. Time. Something dumb you did. It really doesn't matter. The constant stream of words will start blocking out the bad thoughts. The paranoia. I'll start responding to you. Maybe I'll lift my head and give you eye contact. The crying will die down. The shaking will cease. I will slowly come round. Now it's a good thing there was someone else there who dealt with anxiety who knew that he needed to ask me what I needed, which was a quiet empty room, not too bright (idk about other people but my senses become quite alert and sensitive too), with just one other person. Just to talk to me. This attack lasted 1hr30mins. And is to date the longest and worst attack I've experienced. Why? Who knows. There could have been a number of potential triggers. But 4 days later, I'm still raw, my stomach hasn't settled, and I just hope that this story makes people understand how real anxiety is. How it's much more than just being "upset". So please if you know someone with any kind of Anxiety, take the time to find out about how you can help if an attack happens. Maybe find out if they know what triggers them. Cus believe me, it will make them feel so much less alone and nervous knowing that they have someone who knows.

#mental health #work #friendship #Anxiety #personal stories #kindness #awareness #anxietyawareness #work stories

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gginalee · 8 years

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I'm so happy my ship exists. FYI would have been a better twist...