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starter call!
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Joaquin's job was reading body language. Often times he could tell how people were feeling just by the way they moved their hands. Not being able to read people made him uncomfortable, he preferred being around people who were much more open than he was.
Joaquin listened intently to Marsha's words, perking up a little as he recognized the titles that she listed off, especially when she mentioned To Kill A Mockingbird. "You'd make a good teacher," he complimented, giving her a small smile, just enough to show a little bit of his teeth. "What about his life? How'd he grow up?"
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gcygreascrserpcnt‌:
Joaquin was normally the opposite. His expression tended to be vacant, because he wanted it to be. He didn’t like people knowing what he was thinking, he preferred being completely unreadable, or only letting people read what he wanted. He was extremely closed off, to a point that it was unhealthy.
“Truman Capote is a terrible name,” he said, moving his hand to rest on his knee so he could pick at a fraying bit in his jeans. “I’ve never heard of him. Who is he?” He asked, trying to give her more things to write about. If she could talk about it to him then she’d be able to write it down.
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Marsha found people interesting. She loved reading body language, and she could read it well. She loved to see how people reacted to small things, like the sound of a dog barking, or how they reacted in certain situations. It was captivating. 
“He was a novelist, short story writer, screenwriter, playwriter, and an actor,” she hummed, listing stuff from the information on her laptop. “He wrote a lot of really good pieces, like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and In Cold Blood.” She looked back up at him. “He was also best friends with Harper Lee, she wrote To Kill a Mockingbird.” Marsha was a bit of a literature nerd, too. She loved to read. 
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Joaquin was normally the opposite. His expression tended to be vacant, because he wanted it to be. He didn't like people knowing what he was thinking, he preferred being completely unreadable, or only letting people read what he wanted. He was extremely closed off, to a point that it was unhealthy.
"Truman Capote is a terrible name," he said, moving his hand to rest on his knee so he could pick at a fraying bit in his jeans. "I've never heard of him. Who is he?" He asked, trying to give her more things to write about. If she could talk about it to him then she'd be able to write it down.
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gcygreascrserpcnt·:
Joaquin was only likeable when he wanted to be. Like now, for instance, he made sure his composure wasn’t closed off or uncomfortable, his eyes weren’t as harsh and threatening. Small things he had learned over the years. Learned to be able to survive more than anything.
Joaquin gave her a small smile. “Little late to be working on it,” he pointed out, shifting in his seat as he took another fry. “How may words?” He asked. Joaquin himself never tried in school. He didn’t see a point to it, as he had cleaned up a murder and he couldn’t exactly go to college with that in his past.
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Marsha almost always had a smile on her face. She just had an approachable aura that surrounded her. Though, she did have a temper; just like Moose. She just didn’t get to release her anger like Moose. He had football, which was more physical. She had dance. It was less violent. She just bottled her feelings up a lot more. 
She shrugged, shaking her head. “I always do this,” she let out a breathy laugh, looking at him. He had pretty eyes. “It’s a 1500 word essay. On the works of Truman Capote.” She pushed her hair out her face. “And I’ve only done,” she looked at her computer for a moment, “476.”
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Joaquin was only likeable when he wanted to be. Like now, for instance, he made sure his composure wasn't closed off or uncomfortable, his eyes weren't as harsh and threatening. Small things he had learned over the years. Learned to be able to survive more than anything.
Joaquin gave her a small smile. "Little late to be working on it," he pointed out, shifting in his seat as he took another fry. "How may words?" He asked. Joaquin himself never tried in school. He didn't see a point to it, as he had cleaned up a murder and he couldn't exactly go to college with that in his past.
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Joaquin probably wouldn’t be too happy that she knew who he was. He didn’t really like being know. But he also supposed that’s what he got for dating one of the most well known people on the Northside. Even though they were supposed to be a secret.
Joaquin glanced from Marsha’s face down to the basket of fries, raising an eyebrow at her kindness but reaching forward to take a fry anyways. Being someone who lived mostly off of cigarettes and fizzy cola candies, he could definitely use the food. “What are you working on?” He asked, looking at the work in front of her.
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Marsha got along with almost everybody, really. She was a rather likeable person, and she just liked meeting new people. She liked learning about others. It was fascinating to her.  Keeping a small smile on her lips, she watched him take a fry before looking at her computer for a moment. “English essay. It’s due tomorrow morning.” She hummed, shrugging a little. She procrastinated a lot, which normally got her a detention. 
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Joaquin probably wouldn't be too happy that she knew who he was. He didn't really like being know. But he also supposed that's what he got for dating one of the most well known people on the Northside. Even though they were supposed to be a secret.
Joaquin glanced from Marsha's face down to the basket of fries, raising an eyebrow at her kindness but reaching forward to take a fry anyways. Being someone who lived mostly off of cigarettes and fizzy cola candies, he could definitely use the food. "What are you working on?" He asked, looking at the work in front of her.
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gcygreascrserpcnt‌:
Joaquin only slid into the booth because every single other one was taken. Apparently Pop’s was quite busy tonight, which made him curious as to why the blonde in front of him has chosen to bring her homework to the diner. But he wasn’t judging.
He reached over to gently tap the table in front of her, getting her attention like that instead of running the possibility of startling her on accident. “Joaquin,” he said, introducing himself as he relaxed back into his seat. “Is this okay? Diner’s full.”
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Marsha looked up when she saw a slender finger tap the table, giving her attention to the blue eyed male in front of her. She studied him for a moment. She knew who he was. He dated Kevin. Marsha knew who a lot of people were, though. She didn’t know if it was good or bad. 
“Marsha,” she offered a small smile, nodding. “That’s fine. I understand. I’ve been here for hours.” She hummed, pushing the basket of fries towards him, offering them to him. She probably wouldn’t eat them all anyway. 
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Joaquin only slid into the booth because every single other one was taken. Apparently Pop's was quite busy tonight, which made him curious as to why the blonde in front of him has chosen to bring her homework to the diner. But he wasn't judging.
He reached over to gently tap the table in front of her, getting her attention like that instead of running the possibility of startling her on accident. "Joaquin," he said, introducing himself as he relaxed back into his seat. "Is this okay? Diner's full."
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Marsha sat in a booth at Pop’s, a basket of fries in front of her, along with her English essay that was due tomorrow. She always had a habit of procrastinating really badly, and her father would get mad at her for it, which is why she often did her assignments at Pop’s, or somewhere that wasn’t at home. It was too loud anyway.
She saw someone sit down across from her, but said nothing as she kept her eyes on her laptop. She’d assume they’d either catch her attention, or leave. She couldn’t exactly tell who it was, since she didn’t have her glasses on, which was bad; since she was working on her laptop. She never really wore her glasses anyway.
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Manic <> Self Para
tw: depression, mania, pessimism, general negativity, ment. of blood/death maybe???
The violent hum of the air conditioning and soft breathing were the only noises that filled the small, shitty motel room. There were occasional footsteps walking around on the floor above him, voices gliding past the door, or cars parking outside, but he couldn't hear them. All he could hear, other than the air conditioning that barely worked and his own breath, was the constantly ringing that always filled his ears.
Joaquin couldn't remember how long he had been laying sprawled out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't really check, either. The clock in the room had stopped working long before he had started staying there, and the throwaway phone he had bought had been dead for who knows how long. He lightly drummed his fingers against the wrinkled bed spread, which he had made but he wasn't laying under it. He didn't know why he made the bed anymore. No one was coming over.
He wasn't even sure how long he had been in San Junipero. He'd stopped keeping track after 3 months or so, the calender that hung on the wall nothing more than just a decoration at this point, like a decorative towel that was there for looks and not use. He was running out of money. He knew that. He knew he needed to get a job soon. But leaving the motel room was just a chore. People put him on edge. There were too many eyes, two many opportunities for someone to recognize him. The logical part of his mind knew that someone recognizing him on the other side of the country was completely illogical, but he didn't care. He just didn't want to go outside.
His zoning out was interrupted by the feeling of his stomach grumbling, angry that it was being neglected. He swallowed, his mouth dry as he slowly sat up, feeling his bones and joints pop and crack as need be. He pushed himself off the bed and trudged to the kitchen, his socked feet dragging across the floor. He no longer had a gracefulness to his step. He was too tired. There was no point to it. No one ever saw it.
He pulled open the freezer part of the mini fridge provided by the motel, and stared in at the nearly empty contents of the cold box of metal. He grabbed a hot pocket - because he couldn't afford anything else - and tossed it onto a paper plate and then into the microwave. He didn't care what buttons he pressed, he just pressed some of them and hoped for the best. He stared vacantly at the small kitchen's wall, until he heard the beeping of the microwave. Dinner. Or lunch. Or maybe breakfast. He couldn't tell. His blinds were always closed.
He sat the plate on the counter top, staring down at the wrap that was probably still frozen in the middle. After a bit he picked it up, and took a bite, wrinkling his nose at the taste. He never had an appetite. His entire life, he never really did. Food often just made him feel sick to his stomach. He successfully ate half, before tossing it into the trash, followed by him reaching up to run a hand through his hair. He needed a shower.
But he wasn't going to take one. Instead, he walked back over to the bed and sat down, flopping back into a slightly different position than before. He was laying horizontally instead of vertically. That was something new, huh? Really changing it up, he thought to himself, and then sneered at himself in annoyance. God, he was fucking tired.
But sleep wasn't an option. He hadn't been able to sleep properly since his cleanup job. The few times he had, it had been in the same bed as Kevin, with a warm solid mass next to him. Another person. A person who he was pretty sure hated him now. You are a criminal, he remembered, the words ringing throughout his head. "I didn't have a choice," he whispered back, knowing that's what he had wanted to say. He clenched his jaw and unclenched it. Did the same with his hand, pressing his nails to his palm.
His usual tick didn't help in calming him down, though. He tried to take a deep breath but couldn't, sitting straight up as he lifted a hand to his hair, roughly running his fingers through the tangled locks, which had grown quite a bit. He stood and rushed to the cramped bathroom, turning on the cold water and splashing some into his face. It didn't help. He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to take steady breaths. You need a haircut, he thought. He thought as he was going into a panic attack.
And he wasn't sure why, but the thought caused him to let out a soft chuckle. The chuckle turned to two, and then it delved into a laugh, and then into laughter until he was doubling over, holding onto his stomach as tears sprung to his eyes, and he realized that he wasn't sure if it was from his laughter or if he was crying.
A tear trickled down his cheek as he practically fell down onto the bathroom floor, the clutch he had on his stomach morphing into him wrapping his arms around himself in a mock hug, his fits of laughter turning to silent sobs. He felt pathetic. And he knew he was.
He wanted to punch something. Hit something. Or maybe just scream into the air that no one was listening to because he had no clue what else to do. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know what time it was. He didn't know what day it was. Everything was a blur. Nothing mattered. Did he matter anymore?
He didn't know how long he laid there. His tears eventually stopped, but it still took at least 10 minutes for him to push himself off the tiled floor. He walked back to the kitchen, opening a drawer and pulling out a pair a scissors before ending back up the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror, examining his puffy eyes and red nose. He lifted the scissors to his hair, grabbed a lock of it, and made the first cut.
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bulldognamedmoose
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Moose was surprised when Joaquin spoke again. He didn’t know how to correct Joaquin. They weren’t dating yet. Or exclusive? Not that Moose was checking anyone else out. But they weren’t at boyfriend level yet.
“I don’t plan on it.” He leans against his car. Moose wasn’t going to tell him details. He wasn’t one to rub it in someone’s face or make someone else feel worse. Plus Kevin would get mad if he did. “That’s the last thing I want to do.” Moose had been a shitty boyfriend to Midge. He can’t do that to Kevin.
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Joaquin honestly couldn't care less whether they were dating or not. It didn't matter. They had something with eachother and it was obviously leading to something more. He could still remember the way Moose looked at Kevin when he agreed to take them to the Wyrm. He was jealous and annoyed at the time, but he was just drained at this point.
"Yeah," he said, finishing off his cigarette and flicking the butt towards his own feet. "Didn't plan on it either." He reached up to push a few stray pieces of hair off his forehead, even though they just fell back into his face anyways. He sighed and looked up at Moose. "Nobody plans on hurting someone they care about."
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bulldognamedmoose
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Moose hadn’t seen Joaquin until after Kevin had left. His mind had been solely on the boy for the past few days. He wasn’t one for an audience but clearly neither boy had seen Joaquin.
He just shakes his head. there wasn’t anything to talk about right? Moose was sure Kevin knew that Joaquin was back. That was none of his business. “Nothing.” Part of him was flustered, even if he was trying not to show it. Flustered by Kevin. Flustered that Kevin’s ex had unintentionally caught the innocent kiss on the cheek. He wasn’t sure what to say to him. Did they just not talk? They didn’t before.
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Joaquin hummed into his cigarette, taking a much longer drag than usual. His free hand moved on it's own, pushing his nails against his palm in short spurts, a nervous tick he had developed over the years.
Joaquin was obviously fidgety, judging by the was a he bounced his knee, and the pressed his palm against it in an attempt to stop himself from doing so. He glanced down, before back up at Moose, his eyebrows knitted together before his expression went back to his usual neutral state. "Don't hurt him," he spoke suddenly, his voice soft and quiet. It wasn't a threat. "I don't think he'd be able to handle another shitty boyfriend."
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bulldognamedmoose
Moose had been a few hours with Kevin at Pops when Kevin had to leave. He semi pouted the whole time he walked Kevin to the truck but he knew he’d see Kevin for their date soon.
“Text me when you get home.” Which had earned him a quick kiss on the cheek from the other boy before he watched Kevin pull out of the mostly empty parking lot.
Moose ran a hand through his messy hair as an attempt to not feel flustered. Once Kevin was gone, he leans against his own car and glanced around to see if anyone had saw. His eyes met familiar blue ones that did not look happy.
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Joaquin hadn’t meant to see it. Or them. He hadn’t wanted to. It was simply wrong place, wrong time, and he was left wishing that he had smoked his cigarette behind Pop’s instead of in front, sitting on the curb.
He looked unhappy, definitely, but it wasn’t angry. It was more of a wistful look, like he was in deep thought about something. For once, his emotion pushed through his normally vacant expression. It took a moment for him to realize that Moose was looking directly at him, to which he raised an eyebrow towards. “Yes?” He asked, because they were close enough to speak normally.
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Joaquin glanced the blonde that now stood in front of him up and down, and quickly deducted that she wasn't from the Southside. Sure, she was dressing the part, but her appearance just didn't match. Plus, he had never seen her around before, and he knew practically everybody. And it wasn't exactly safe for someone new to be walking around, completely alone. "No, I was just walking," he said, slight smirk hinting on his lips as he repeated her words. "You playing dress up, or are you new?" He questioned, raising a curious eyebrow at the girl. "Either way, you should be glad you almost ran into me instead of someone else." Southsiders could definitely be brutal, defensive, violent and irrational. Joaquin was only one of those, occasionally.
gcygreascrserpcnt‌:
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Listening in on conversations was something Joaquin was used to, and definitely good at. With everything going on in the Southside, he was being called on more and more - and sometimes he was even doing things himself, simply because he had nothing better to do. But what he wasn’t used to was almost running straight into someone when he turned a corner while walking away, their bodies almost colliding before he stopped dead in his tracks, stepping back a bit to regain some personal space.
“Have you been standing there?”
Sabrina was fascinated with the southside. She loved how they had an entirely different culture than that of the Northside. She dressed the part, wanting to blend in and not stick out like a sore thumb. So dressed in a pair of dark ripped jeans, boots and black t-shirt she walked around the streets of the Southside, people watching. She hadn’t even noticed that she almost bumped into someone. “oh, shit.” she said, stepping back as she saw the figure standing in front of her. “No, I was just walking.” she said, looking up. “have you been standing there?” She asked, turning his question back to him.
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Joaquin saw Kevin as nothing short of perfect, which might not be entirely healthy, but he couldn't stop himself. Kevin was - emphasis on was - the light of his life. But he himself had ruined it. And he hadn't done anything to try to find a new light, either. So everything was just dark instead. "If you're this cute now, I'm sure you were still cute in middle school," he said, trying for a compliment. His voice was serious, though. "This town doesn't have a positive effect on anyone," he pointed out, though Joaquin hasn't been able to find anywhere that had a positive effect on him. Riverdale had too many painful memories, and in San Junipero his loneliness had led to manic depression. "You're not burdening me by talking about yourself, Kevin." He gave him a firm look. "You can talk about anything you want, I just want to hear your voice." He nodded at his change of subject anyways, though. "I've heard. Serpents caught me up on everything when I got back. Kinda like the town is falling apart at the seams."
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“Just because that’s how it is, doesn’t mean that’s how it should be.” Joaquin retorted, lifting a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear. “I know you’re insecure, even if I don’t understand why.” Joaquin truly couldn’t understand how Kevin could look in the mirror and not like what’s looking back at him. “But… fuck, Keller, you’re so much more than just an object for people to throw around and use at their own disposal.” They were in public, Joaquin tried to remind himself, but he sort of just didn’t care. “You’re like the sun defined as a person. And no one would survive without the sun.”
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“Years and years of middle school trauma and being oversized still carries. It’s just hard to have a good opinion of myself.” Kevin tried his best, and when Betty called cruising disgusting last year that didn’t help his mental health even when he knew she meant well.  “Thank you, Joaquin. I just..really don’t think this town is having a positive effect on me as well.” He felt like his world was slightly coming down, though it was looking up slowly. “I’m the sun for other people, but I get so involved with others that I don’t worry about myself. It’s much easier. But enough about me. I really don’t want to burden you and make this some 2012 glee angst thing.” Kevin chuckled at his own joke, trying to change the subject. “Hiram Lodge has completely tried to ruin everything.”
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"Just because that's how it is, doesn't mean that's how it should be." Joaquin retorted, lifting a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear. "I know you're insecure, even if I don't understand why." Joaquin truly couldn't understand how Kevin could look in the mirror and not like what's looking back at him. "But... fuck, Keller, you're so much more than just an object for people to throw around and use at their own disposal." They were in public, Joaquin tried to remind himself, but he sort of just didn't care. "You're like the sun defined as a person. And no one would survive without the sun."
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Joaquin glanced up at Kevin as he typed his new number into his phone, simply naming himself Joaquin before handing it back. “I remember your number,” he said, making a point of pulling his own phone out of his pocket and sending Kevin a text that read see? He already had Kevin’s number saved in his phone, anyways.
Joaquin would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt hearing Kevin tell him he had gotten with other people. But he knew it would’ve been delusional to think Kevin would have waited for him. SO he pushed his selfishness aside, instead focusing on the boy who clearly wasn’t okay. “You’re worth more than just sex. You know that, right?”
“Good.” He said, not going to acknowledge the argument because he lost. “People keep telling me this and for some reason I can’t believe it. I’ve been insecure all my life - you know that.” Kevin wished that he could just have this confidence in himself, but he couldn’t. He looked in the mirror and still felt like he wasn’t enough at times, when the truth is he was more than that. “It’s even harder when I like to do something people think it’s disgusting and judging me but do worse.” Kevin sighed. “That’s just how it is unfortunately.”
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kevinthenorthsider
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Kevin gave him his phone. “I’m pretty sure I can remember your last number but you didn’t even remember mine?” This was one thing he was hung up on, but he didn’t know if he just heard Joaquin wrong.
He took a deep breath. “Well…you said you wanted to know.” Kevin sighed, choosing to balance on his hands behind him while leaning against the wall. “I went cruising…a lot..after you left. I mean..you were the first boyfriend I had and..then it just went south. I felt the best when I’m intimate and riding the euphoric wave…pretty much how I felt good.” Kevin sighed, not really able to look Joaquin much in the eyes while talking about it. “Maybe you need to take a small break from everything? Not leave but not have responsibilities.”
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Joaquin glanced up at Kevin as he typed his new number into his phone, simply naming himself Joaquin before handing it back. “I remember your number,” he said, making a point of pulling his own phone out of his pocket and sending Kevin a text that read see? He already had Kevin’s number saved in his phone, anyways.
Joaquin would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt hearing Kevin tell him he had gotten with other people. But he knew it would’ve been delusional to think Kevin would have waited for him. SO he pushed his selfishness aside, instead focusing on the boy who clearly wasn’t okay. “You’re worth more than just sex. You know that, right?”
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kevinthenorthsider
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“I know we aren’t together and I’m still mad, but I do care about you. You can talk to me about anything.” Kevin didn’t want someone feeling alone, because he knew how that felt and it was awful.
“Do you really want to know? You may feel bad when it’s not even a majority your fault.” He sighed, knew that he shouldn’t have mentioned it. Kevin had this habit of oversharing when he was with his friends and people he had some kind of past with. “There are things in this town that never changed. They may lose themselves, but they’ll never change.” Kevin leaned against the wall behind him. “Are you still really involved with the serpents? I bet you’re surprised that cheryl joined.”
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Joaquin nodded at that, knowing the words to definitely be true. “The same goes for you,” He said, looking at Kevin with an expression that couldn’t really be placed. Because Joaquin wasn’t really sure how exactly he was feeling. “Actually,” he smirked a little, “give me your phone.”
“Yeah, I want to know. Especially if it was partially my fault.” Joaquin wanted to apologize thoroughly, and he needed to know everything he was apologizing for. Joaquin gave a slight shrug. “I’m involved. Not as much as I was before.” He chewed at his lip, thinking for a moment. He didn’t really like to think about Cheryl Blossom, to be honest. “I’m a little more surprised that our leader is even less equipped than the last one.”
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kevinthenorthsider
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“You may have avoided the truth, but you’ve never lied to me.” Kevin didn’t want to keep potentially putting Joaquin through some emotional toil, and he did believe the male but he was just angry.
“You were alone?” Kevin felt bad for him, as he had to run because of everything that happened a year ago. Joaquin and FP were the catalyst that caused this town to go down the rabbit hole that he was sure Jughead Jones had some better metaphor for. “I’ll be sure to look into going there when this town gets too much.” He shook his head. “I understand Serpent loyalty but your mental health is important. If something were to happen to you and I’d find out, it wouldn’t have been pretty.”
“I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I’m just telling you what happened after you left. I went on a sort of bender..and now our town has completely changed. It’s not going to get better for anyone.” Kevin wasn’t going to give Joaquin every detail. “My dad is sheriff of the new police force on the South Side..I guess that’s one of the few good things I have going on right now.”
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Joaquin considered telling him that he had lied to him, but he thought for a long moment, and realized that he technically hadn’t. Everything he had felt for Kevin was real, and he wasn’t able to deny that. He actually found it incredibly hard to lie to him, hence why he had spilled his biggest secret and broken Serpent law simply because he had looked at him a certain way.
Joaquin couldn’t help but smile a little a Kevin’s protectiveness. No one else was really like that with him. “A few things almost happened, but I’m okay.” They had been by his own accord, anyways. Induced by his loneliness and constant boredom, there had been a time or two when he had drank a little too much - or maybe a lot too much.
Joaquin’s small smile turned into a concerned frown almost immediately. “What do you mean by a bender?” He asked, genuine worry spilling into his words. Because Kevin had that effect on him. Around most people he wouldn’t let proper emotion show, but with Kevin he couldn’t help himself. “Glad you’re still the sheriff’s son, Preppy,” he said, effectively reviving the affectionate nickname.
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