friedriceyeetzsche

[friedriceyeetzsche]

Me: I will NOT simp! Not for Anyone!

70 Page College Ruled Spiral Notebook as it gently traces the shape of my ear: No even... for me?

Me, staring at my feet: What a whiskerless old fool I have been

[friedriceyeetzsche]

ADHD? Sweetie, stop making shit up. We all know you're just kinning Naruto ♥️♥️♥️

#sorry i got distracted by the glimmer in sasuke's eyes #i don't care what the doctor tells me cuz i know that becoming hokage is not a disorder #bitch didn't need adderall to learn the notice sasukes bulge jutsu

[friedriceyeetzsche]

I lust for tax evasion

#lust #tax evasion #shakespeare

[friedriceyeetzsche]

Gonna make a fish harem anime titled

CATCH!とre:LEASE!!

#anime #fish #harem #loveislove #lovewins #scaley #are bear furries allowed to eat salmon scalies #is it a subgenre of vore #fish lover #fish love me #wildlife #romance #romcom

[friedriceyeetzsche]

He stands in the middle of the parking lot, playing dumb, seemingly unaware that he is the source of my rage. I can tell by the subtleties in his sultry expression that he is proud of his vile deeds. He thinks himself protected, but laws are for men more cowardly than me. Today is the last day that I bow to the goose, and the relentless grip of my jerking arm will prove it.

#wildlife #bird #goose #rage #geese fill me with such rage #they know how much power they have over humans and they abuse it to the fullest extent #angery

[friedriceyeetzsche]

*hydroplanes into kissing you on the mouth*

#rain #driving #hydroplaning #kiss #I'm going 73 mph

[friedriceyeetzsche]

We need decentralized pussy

#cat #future #economy #technology #wildlife #money #blockchain #this is the future of science #science #health #don't let institutions unilaterally govern the pussy #power to the people #fight back

[friedriceyeetzsche]

My handsome rat helpers and I are developing a new plague in the shimmering depths of my sewer lab. It shall bestow thiccness upon my friends and siccness upon my foes. Yeajūldōr (top of his class in evil rat school) even had the brilliant idea of exploiting the APOE4 gene to cause the victims to forget everything but their most embarrassing moments. So rewarding to watch a beautiful evil rat mind flourish.

#rat #plague #rat plague #valedictorian #animals #wildlife #sewer #evil #laboratory #virology #Yeajūldōr was the youngest evil rat to become an evil rat PhD candidate #concocting little plagues in the sewer lab is actually quite good for rat fur #their fur will be glossy beyond belief #a lot of the other evil rats have a crush on Yeajūldōr but he's completely oblivious to it

[friedriceyeetzsche]

The rats ripple through their space between the walls. Their tails writhe in unison, humming. The thunderous clapping of my cheeks has alerted them. Their master is here, and it is time to do funny magic and evil deeds.

#rat #mouse #mice #magic #evil #ritual #ratatouille #10 Thousand handsome rats for 10 Thousand handsome spells #rats #the rats have 10 Thousand names each but one of them is always Ratthew #when the rats combine they take the shape of Winston Churchill #we lead the UK in World War 2

[friedriceyeetzsche]

I take the little coins and commit my little crimes and all the while my cheeks clap and clap away

#philosophy #nietzsche #shakespeare #the little man who pays me lives behind the curly frier #the mice of damp back alleys pray to me in their little mouse homes as they gather round the roast what do mice eat