friedbeetles

[friedbeetles]

*person has consented to being eaten; they’ve donated their body. they died without suffering. you can cook the meat. you will not get sick from the meat.

bonus: explain why!

#im an adventurous eater #i like trying new things and I’m willing to try human flesh #does this make me a bad person? #i don’t think so #cannibalism #poll #polls #cannibalism tw #anywayss y’all vote yes

[friedbeetles]

#GREEN AND YELLOW

[friedbeetles]

Could you reblog this if you enjoy seeing your writer friends ramble about their wips on your dash?

[friedbeetles]

Imagine a liaison aboard the lost light who calls people 'love' and 'dear' in a very soft, delicate tone.

based on this post because this is just too tempting to not write about, we must sound like debutants making their first appearance in fashionable society speaking in skittish whispers and sighs all the time when in reality organics speak in different octaves and wavelengths. definitely self indulgent cause me and my friends do this.

Imagine a liaison aboard the lost light who calls people 'love' and 'dear' in a very soft, delicate tone. In a ship full of battle-weary, pessimistic, cybertronians desensitized to almost everything, that single drop of warmth coming from a human whose touches feel like silk — feather light and alien, would be enough to make them putty in your presence.

The last time Brainstorm received a — " How clever, Brainstorm, thank you for your help." He had nearly popped a circuit trying to come up with a reply, stunned silent for what Perceptor claimed was the first time he was without one of his usual snarky remarks. Then it was Swerve, who wouldn't shut up about how you had called him 'darling' — Skids was adamant to prove to him that it was just how you spoke to people, even if the theoretician himself had his chest puffed out from being called 'dear'.

Then there was the time that you had scolded Whirl for nearly stepping on you, voice still painfully tender in comparison to the mechanical lilt of metal vocalizers —" Ooop! Careful there, handsome!" You had jumped, swerving just in time before his pedes crushed you. And the watchmaker froze, with a single optic pinning you in place. Then Drift had to chase him down several hallways, yelling that he wasn't allowed to just pick you up and run off.

An intervention was needed when a group of mechs were sent down a Decepticon outpost and returned with injuries. Apparently, everyone wanted to be pat on the arm and have you crooned — " Oh, you poor, brave thing" to them. With your brows knitted in worry, lips pout and slightly parted as they tell you all the heroic things they did. ( Ultra Magnus wasn't too impressed when said intervention from Rodimus was just a plot for him to cut the line and show you his battle scars. Someone in the back of the line had yelled that he wasn't even scratched. Judging from the infighting brewing, it was most likely Whirl.)

[friedbeetles]

Babble ab you fav character

I could would and should pop my badussy for Grimlock and Megatron, any continuity. I’m not gonna explain myself.

google look up Grimlock whimpering audio google do you hear me

#valveplug

[friedbeetles]

i'm so bored send me ungodly transformers prompts or headcanons or whatever

#valveplug #send me asks #reqs open #send requests #transformers

[friedbeetles]

^^^^

reblog if you want more interaction w your lovely followers

[friedbeetles]

URETHRAL PLAY????? WHAT THE F WENT WRONG???

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

[friedbeetles]

Megatron & His Favorite Person Who Happens To Be A Human (Gender-Neutral) SFW HCs!!!

"I would never align myself with an organic, how dare you even suggest such a thing" [[Like 2 days later]] "This is (YOUR NAME) and they're an organic but hear me out guys what if- what if we kept them."

He. Doesn't know how to feel at first but eventually accepts it

Emotional constipation is maxed out on the Megatron build holy cow

Overly cautious with you, like if something that is one (1) degree above room temperature touches you you'll burn alive. He learns that you're not that fragile, but he cringes whenever he sees you go near an ice machine or stovetop

Physical Touch: Absolute cuddlebug. He hates touching you in the beginning because he (secretly) doesn't want to hurt you, and now he freely waltzes down the halls of the Nemesis with you held to his chassis, a ridiculous smug look on his face. He doesn't like kisses because he can't kiss you back and he thinks its unfair.

Words of Affirmation: Doesn't know how to praise people, only how to order them around... however. Whenever you give him the slightest bit of praise, he just blue screens and stands there like a buffoon. An absolute creature, caught in headlights. He loves it, but not in front of other people.

Quality Time: He brings you everywhere, unless you explicitly say you don't want to go. His favorite thing is putting you on his desk while he does paperwork, because it makes the work "easier." He definitely prefers time outside of work, though, because he would absolutely hunker down with you under the covers and just lay there for the rest of eternity, talking about "stupid Autobots" and "did I remember to send Starscream that schedule change?" and "you smell nice"

Gift Giving: Not very big on it, because he doesn't know what humans like, but if you explicitly say you want something, it will "magically and mysteriously" appear on your side of the bed within 24 hours. He doesn't like receiving gifts, though.

Acts of Service: Breakfast in bed? Served to you on a silver platter. Headache from loud noises? Here's some water and medicine to help with the pain. Craving something specific? Already in the pantry, let me go get it for you. Oh, you got something for me? *sniffling through tears* "ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏˢ."

#headcanons #gender neutral reader #sfw hcs #hcs #transformers hcs #beetle's megatron archive #beetle's megatron hcs archive #transformers headcanons

[friedbeetles]

GN Decepticon Engineer Reader x Megatron HCs (sfw and nsfw)

NSFW hcs will be below the cut!

SFW hcs

Since you were just another engineer, your first meeting was strictly professional.

The warlord didn’t pay you much mind at first, but when you ever-so-gracefully told Starscream to either be helpful or fuck off, you caught his attention.

Your passion for engineering was appreciated and Megatron assigned you your own room in the Nemesis, an honor saved for only those high among the Decepticon ranks.

He loves to watch you work, and even asks questions as you go about your business.

When you first got into a relationship with each other, Megatron made sure to avoid you whenever he got frustrated because he was scared that he’d take it out on you. He still does this sometimes, but more often then not he goes to you for cuddles and to rant about whatever happened.

This also goes the other way around. Being an engineer, you’re bound to get frustrated more than once with your projects. Megatron simply sits there and listens to you vent your frustrations while caressing your frame and occasionally muttering loving words in your audials.

He adores it when you call him pet names, in front of others or not. He always responds with his own.

He secretly commissioned for a second throne to be built next to his so that you could (comfortably) sit with him when you weren’t working.

Megatron keeps you out of all fights, on the Nemesis or with the Autobots. He can’t risk his favorite engineer getting hurt!

Whenever Megatron returns from battle injured, he secretly loves it when you fawn over him; tracing the scars and welds on his frame and pouting when he tells you there’s no need for it.

He loves it when you help buff and wax his frame, and vice versa.

If you ever had sparklings together, you bet he’s protective of them.

NSFW hcs

It took a while for him to trust himself in berth with you.

He’s a switch, but definitely prefers to bottom.

He loves it when you take charge and ride his spike.

He’s really into teasing and bondage. Tie him down, stuff a vibrating toy in his valve on its lowest setting, and maybe play around with his spike-- he turns into a begging mess.

He also loves to turn you into a begging mess, but only when he’s in a certain mood.

Would let you use him as a toy, no questions asked.

In fact, after a long day, he yearns for you to use him. He just wants to turn his processor off and let you have your way with him, whether that be bent over his desk with your spike in his valve or pinned to the berth with your valve on his face and a ring snug around his spike.

Aftercare is something Megatron just melts over. Sometimes it ends in him begging to be fragged again. Whenever he tops, he’s the aftercare god. He brings you everything you need, such as energon and towels, and draws a hot bath for you to relax in. He takes care of everything, but makes sure you’re taken care of above all else.

When he does top, he loves to spike you. He’ll grind against you while you whimper and plead for him to let you overload, and he often whispers praise in your audials.

Also loves to tie you to the berth and suck you off or eat you out, often times both.

Sometimes, he’ll shove a toy in your valve or put a ring around your spike and make you go the whole day with the toy under your panels.

Also goes vice versa; he loves to be plugged while doing his everyday duties.

The only downside to this is that sometimes you two go solarcycles without seeing each other, so you’re left to your own devices while that fake spike in your valve stretches you wide and shifts deeper everytime you sit down.

He’s not big into voyeur/exhibition, but when he tops, he does find himself fantasizing about somebot walking in on you two. He wants the whole ship to know you belong to him, and that he belongs to you.

#megatron x reader #beetle's megatron hcs archive #beetle's megatron archive #valveplug