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#quiet on set #nickelodeon #dan schneider #all that #electric chair

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A dozen African nations watching the King Charles news right now

#british royal family #kate middleton #king charles

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Honestly, they could say whatever they wanted to on a medical drama and I would believe it.

They could say, "his tongue doesn't have enough fluid which is why he has a limp", and I would just eat another hot Cheeto and be like, "makes sense".

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The only thing I do on Facebook now is watch the boomerfication of my generation happen in real time. It's like the most depressing Animorphs book cover you've ever seen.

#someofthesepeoplearecommittedtounlearningthings #youhaveanunnaturalallegiancetolosers

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Dorkass losers will will still be defending capitalism even after companies find a way to charge us for breathing and masturbating and I don't think we can rehabilitate that.

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Fantastic news! The giant, vacant void where my heart used to be is now a 🎃👻*Spirit Halloween* 👻🎃

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Has anyone told the people that are allergic to peanuts that they really aren't missing that much?

#like they're okay #nowhere near the top 10 nutwise #at least you're not allergic to shellfish or something truly tragic #God's weakest nerf tbh #does not affect overall playability

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I've been in the Pittsburgh airport for over 10 hours and I no longer have any sense of self. I am the airport. I have always been the airport. I remember when I was constructed. Such vibrant times. I remember the workers and I proudly send their descendants to distant lands. Planes are my children.

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I don't usually think I'm better or worse than anyone else because humans are all different and have different strengths... But then I accidentally click on the comment section of a local news article, and it turns out I'm way better than a lot of people.

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Investigators: "this is enough taco bell for 5 people. Someone else was here when he was killed."

Me before I died with the taco bell I bought for me and me alone:

#spirited away #no face #anime #taco bell #cheesy gordita crunch #fire sauce #if i die eating taco bell so be it #it's what i deserve

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Does anyone else ever feel the urge to hang out in a laundromat at 3 in the morning just to take in the emptiness and the detergent smell? I can't tell which things are things and which things are *me* things. 

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Be sure to check on your hot friends. The air outside is almost as hot as they are, and that's bound to have profound psychological effects. 

#what do you MEAN it's 105 degrees outside? #What kind of a number is that!? #that can't be right #my whole brain is crying

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Gonna send out an invite to everyone on my friends list telling them to meet me in a random field with their brightest flashlight so we can signal the UFOs for uppies.

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y'all are worried about a surveillance state all while filming strangers in public for clicks and clout... baby you ARE the surveillance state!

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Life Protip: If you take 4 minutes and 27 seconds at the start of your day to listen to "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips, it tricks your brain into thinking you only need to hold on for one more day. Repeat this daily to stay alive indefinitely. Checkmate, depression.

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Black Mirror (2011)

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I feel annoying, but I also feel like the one person I annoy the most is me