flotocuna

[flotocuna]

RP MASTERLIST. a series of unfortunate events (netflix, books, movies) + all the wrong questions / lemony snicket

REBLOG this post if you rp a canon or oc character from the aforementioned fandom or have a verse for it and specify in the tags so you can be added.

#The pale faced women

[flotocuna]

Two volunteers pass off a briefcase during an assignment.

#past

[flotocuna]

snicketsquadron:

Jacques tended to forget sometimes that he resembled Olaf. Being utterly familiar with his own face, the differences between them were obvious to him and overlooked by others. He nodded, absorbing all the henchperson was telling him. “Whether I know or not, why would I tell you? If you don’t know, they can’t get it out of you.” 

Jacques focused and pulled together the nastiest, meanest face he could make as he pushed open the door. “-And don’t mess it up!” he scolded the henchperson before turning to smile at the twins. “Ladies. Tell Theodore I need to meet with him in the living room.” 

The twins jumped in shock, not expecting their boss to come storming out of the hostage’s room... in fact, not even expecting him to be in the building. But they straightened up immediately, never guessing that the man in front of them wasn’t their boss. After all, why would they? 

“Of course boss,” “Right away boss.” They turned to find Theodore, and then turned right back around. “Boss, we don’t know where Theodore is.” “He could be anywhere on the grounds.” “It could take us hours to find him.” 

“Would you rather talk to us instead?” 

Dividing Lines

#snicketsquadron #ic #ayyyy this is rory's mun I figured I'd just move this over here

[flotocuna]

unfortunateguardian:

“Hhm? Soft? How do you mean?” Count Olaf gives the both of them and stern yet curious stare. He had noticed that the hook handed man was a bit hesitant when it came to harming any of the children or keeping them captive for that matter.

“I meant my hands. I don’t want my hands to appear damaged.” He clarifies after giving a roll of his eyes. “And even if that were the case and it did seem suspicious, what of it? I’ve been convicted of much worse before and managed to escape unscathed. I mean, burning multiple establishments down is horrid and murdering someone is nasty – I haven’t gotten around to harming a child to that tier just yet. Adults were once children so it’s not like I technically haven’t in some aspect.” He begins to ponder aloud.

“Well, you know he let the baby go, over a game of cards, no less.” “I can’t blame him for not wanting to hurt the children-” “-But this is his job, and we take it seriously, so he should as well.” Beth nudged Anna sharply in the side, trying to get her to shut up. The last thing either of them wanted was for Olaf to turn on them. 

“Oh right, right, your hands, must take very good care of your hands.” The twin spoke in unison, and nodded in unison, a habit of theirs that tended to make those not used to them uncomfortable. “But boss-” “-But boss, you’re already under suspect for these crimes. Wouldn’t it be best to prove you’re less dangerous than previously thought? Having people underestimate you is very helpful...”

#unfortunateguardian #ic

[flotocuna]

@stargazing-crow

When Rory had come to them, nearly in tears, they really hadn't been too concerned. They were, after all, an incredibly dramatic person (and why wouldn't they be? They were an actor after all.) But eventually something in the youngest troupe member's expression had Anna concerned, and Beth was finally swayed as well.

And so here they were, linked arm in arm to prevent themselves from getting separated or pushed around by the bustling, crowded nighttime market. Beth noticed the fortune teller first, Anna staring dreamily at booths full of sparkling, (probably plastic, in Beth's opinion) jewelry and waving, silky cloths. Beth tugged her sister towards the shop and pulled her inside.

It was strangely quiet inside, and the twins studied the fortune teller. Before Anna could say anything ridiculous, Beth spoke up.

"Rory sent us here, spouting nonsense about the stars saying they were going to be abandoned. Was that your doing?" The elder twin glowered.

"Do you think you could tell our fortunes?" If Anna noticed her sister's sigh, she ignored it.

#stargazing-crow #ic

[flotocuna]

"Theodore is a good choice, a very good choice." "If you ask me Fernald is going soft, you might want to have a chat with him, you know." Anna shot a concerned look at her sister, but Beth ignored her. The younger twin would have to ask later why Fernald was being thrown under the bus - or into the frying pan, as it may be with their boss.

"If you want them to look undamaged, then why kill any of them? Wouldn't that look suspicious?" "Suppose you just lock them in a room, keep them all alive and healthy so no one suspects you." The twins leaned forward, conspiratorilly. "Don't worry, it would be your idea, of course." "No one will know, or be allowed to say otherwise." To be fair, even if they didn't say that, they probably would have forgotten they came up with it anyway. If, of course, Olaf actually considered it.

flotocuna:

“Oh, what a brilliant idea!” “How very creative of you to come up with it!” They exchanged a look of worry. Had something like that ever worked beyond in old stories? They knew better than to question their boss’ plans. After all, they only failed because the Baudelaires continued to meddle.

His next statement sent a bitter memory reeling up from their minds, but they shoved it away, best not to dwell on such things or pretended, hypocritical morals after so long. Instead, one asked, “How exactly are we to do away with them?” And the other, “Who is going to have to do them in?”

The memory of the dinner party was one they had difficulty forgetting. “Boss, certainly he would be the best captive.” “But aren’t you worried that slapping him often will damage your hands?”

“Yes, I know.” Count Olaf says, as if his ego needed to be any bigger. He peers down at his dirty finger nails and then at his knuckles thoughtfully, as if he’d heard the praise a million times before.

“We’ll get hooky to do it. Or perhaps the bald man. Hooky couldn’t even hold a baby captive correctly so I doubt he’d successfully manage to put an end to the remaining orphans.” He responds, an arm folded over his chest where the other sits up right, allowing his index finger to tap at his cheek as he thinks.

“Hmm, perhaps you’re correct. They need to look as undamaged as possible whenever I become a billionaire. Perhaps we’ll settle for Violet. She is the eldest so it’ll be no time at all before that fortune is mine.”

#unfortunateguardian #ic

[flotocuna]

"Oh, that's a shame, I guess we'll come back lat-" "Somehow I don't believe you, Dewey. You wouldn't want to lie to your aunties, would you?" Beth shot her sister a quick, but annoyed glance before turning back to Dewey with a smile.

"If you've so many guests... then how come your brothers are sleeping and not helping?" Beth was annoyed, this much was certain, but Anna piped up to explain, "We're here to visit room 598, we want to study how bird wings work."

"-which I'm sure you'll agree is perfectly legal and unsuspicious. We just think that certain triplets with younger eyes would be more than WILLING to aid family in this study." Beth frowned, wishing they had run into one of the other brothers instead, without an intense set of morals and a healthy dose of suspicion.

@flotocuna

“Why, dearest, we thought you’d be excited to see your aunties here.” Anna started, while Beth’s eyes darted around the room, looking for… honestly, they had both forgotten, but they were sure it would come back to them.

And they were sure Dewey would aid them eventually. After all, they were family, and far from the only firestarter aligned triplets. Which the man in front of them knew very well.

“Which ones are the Quagmires?” “Triplets?” “Oh, we thought for certain there were only two of them.” They feigned innocence, which was easy enough when they really couldn’t - no, didn’t want to - remember that those children had also lost a triplet.

“We just came to see you.” “And your brothers.” “Particularly Ernest.” “Now would you be a dear and call them over, Dewey?” Beth reached out, clasping a hand on his arm, and leaning in.

“We WILL be speaking to them, so you might as well call them over.” She leaned back, only for Anna to dreamily chime in, “It’ll be lovely to have a family reunion.”

Much as Dewey could appreciate being called by the proper name - it was a rare occurrence for him not to be taken for one of his brothers - He didn’t trust the two women who were currently holding his arms. He couldn’t. 

“They aren’t awake,” he told them, his voice apologetic but firm. “And I won’t be waking them up, you see, unless you state your business,” he tried to pull away so he could get his bearings, but for a pair of elderly triplets they held on tightly. “We have many other guests to attend to. And most of those guests are not working for any evil Counts at present. I’m sure you understand.”

#vfdlibrarian #ic #for the record Beth is the one generally to the viewer's right who generally has the more morbid responses

[flotocuna]

(I’d like to think the twins were really stunning when they were younger, not like. Beatrice wanted but really attractive and completely unapproachable but UNFORTUNATELY everyone who would know is dead unless SOMEONE with ELDER VFD OCS wants to plot it out @cfendings )

#this isn't meant to sound rude gjhdhejc

[flotocuna]

"Oh, what a brilliant idea!" "How very creative of you to come up with it!" They exchanged a look of worry. Had something like that ever worked beyond in old stories? They knew better than to question their boss' plans. After all, they only failed because the Baudelaires continued to meddle.

His next statement sent a bitter memory reeling up from their minds, but they shoved it away, best not to dwell on such things or pretended, hypocritical morals after so long. Instead, one asked, "How exactly are we to do away with them?" And the other, "Who is going to have to do them in?"

The memory of the dinner party was one they had difficulty forgetting. "Boss, certainly he would be the best captive." "But aren't you worried that slapping him often will damage your hands?"

flotocuna:

“Oh, bravo, bravo, very true, how very wise.” They chorused together, almost as if rehearsed… or if they had said those words repeatedly over the course of their working with the Count whenever he decided to monologue in front of them.

“And what a present it is, such a lovely one.” Any hint of regret or disappointment as to how they were spending their elderly years evaporated with the distraction of feeding Olaf’s ego. But the distraction didn’t keep Anna from asking, “The future may be a mystery, as you so wisely said, but…”

“But what exactly is our next plan?” Beth finished, fishing for where they were headed next, both of them hoping it was somewhere warm.

Count Olaf gives a theatrical bow with a smug look on his face. He could always rely on his henchmen – or in this case, henchwomen to inflate his ego even bigger than it already was, if that was possible.

“Yes, yes… I am as wise as I am enlightened.” He says, straightening his posture and looking to the two white faced women again. His smug expression seems to fade the moment that question is asked and he looks a bit thoughtful now.

“A winged device, similar to that of birds wings but much bigger.” He answers, still finding the idea quite absurd but interesting nonetheless. “I’ve already decided that the Bald Man will be the one steering the device. We’ll wait until those orphans are alone and then swoop down to grab one of them! We’ll do away with the other two. It only takes one orphan to get a fortune, afterall.” He waves a dismissive hand at the thought, looking awfully proud of Rory’s his plan.

Then he pauses to peer up in thought. “I suppose it doesn’t matter which one but I’d like to capture one that puts up less of a struggle. That gets awfully annoying. Perhaps the bookworm… he’s quite easy to smack around.”

#unfortunateguardian #ic

[flotocuna]

"Our idea of good is what helps us and the ones we work with."

"If that involves stealing and swindling, then so be it. Who is going to believe that two old ladies did something?"

"Especially if we can pin the blame on someone nearby. Someone against us, perhaps?"

flotocuna ( twins. )

@sebaldcoded liked for a lyric starter!

“We do what we must because we can, for the good of all of us-”

“-except the ones who are dead.”

        ‘your idea of GOOD must be to steal and swindle as much as you can. that can be the only explanation for your logic.’

#sebaldcoded #ic

[flotocuna]

“Very wise, not letting your guard down around enemies.” One commended.

“But very strange, not letting your guard down around two little old ladies.” The other reprimanded.

“It’s no matter to us,” they chorused. The twins led Gustav up and down busy and empty streets alike, crisscrossing the city, chattering loudly but banally to each other as they went. They didn’t even bother looking back towards Gustav, as though they really didn’t care.

But eventually the chattering turned quieter, angrier, and they stopped midstep to turn to Gustav, looking confused and annoyed.

“Where are we?” “And why, exactly, are you following us?” They seem to have forgotten completely what they were doing.

flotocuna ( twins. )

“We’re very fond of keeping the sides equal.” “Oh, yes, fair’s fair, you understand?” The twins adjusted their glasses in mirrored unison, and turned, marching off side by side down the city streets. “We at least trust you’re following us.” “If not, we gave you your chance.” “That is, if you are coming with us-” “-like you said you were.”

             his features still firmly crinkled with SUSPICION as he watched the two old ladies move as if they were one in a mirror rather than two separate people. if jacquelyn wasn’t in DANGER, than perhaps she could get him out of trouble if this turned out to be a not so elaborate SCHEME to trap the filmmaker, and more importantly, the cryptographer. ‘yes, i’m following. but don’t think my guard is down.’

#sebaldcoded #ic

[flotocuna]

"We're very fond of keeping the sides equal." "Oh, yes, fair's fair, you understand?" The twins adjusted their glasses in mirrored unison, and turned, marching off side by side down the city streets. "We at least trust you're following us." "If not, we gave you your chance." "That is, if you are coming with us-" "-like you said you were."

flotocuna ( twins. )

“See, we thought you were the knight in shining armour type.” “Or have we just overestimated how much she means to you?” They exchanged a look of false pity, clicking their tongues and shaking their heads. “That poor girl…” “All alone.” “Surrounded by her ‘enemies’.” “Forced to join.” “Perhaps even… brainwashed.”

They turned to stare at him, false pity thrown off by a snug, devious sparkle in the eyes of the one on the left (Beth, not that anyone could tell them apart usually). “We brought it to you out of concern.” “We’re SO very worried about her.”

“Don’t you want to come with us to save her?”

         the image of her being in the hands of their ENEMIES did trouble him greatly as evident from the furrow of his brow and a concerned flash in his dark eyes. she was certainly capable of RESCUING herself from danger, making her more of the knight in shining armor between them, but he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if she was in trouble and he did nothing. even if it was most definitely a TRAP.

          with a SKEPTICAL gaze, he neared the twins. ‘why are you telling me this then? i have a hard time believing you want me to stop you. i’ll go with you but don’t think i TRUST you.’

#sebaldcoded #I told you to stop queuing me that

[flotocuna]

"Oh, bravo, bravo, very true, how very wise." They chorused together, almost as if rehearsed... or if they had said those words repeatedly over the course of their working with the Count whenever he decided to monologue in front of them.

"And what a present it is, such a lovely one." Any hint of regret or disappointment as to how they were spending their elderly years evaporated with the distraction of feeding Olaf's ego. But the distraction didn't keep Anna from asking, "The future may be a mystery, as you so wisely said, but..."

"But what exactly is our next plan?" Beth finished, fishing for where they were headed next, both of them hoping it was somewhere warm.

@unfortunateguardian liked for a lyric starter!

“We’ve got no future.”

“We’ve got no past.”

#unfortunateguardian #I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING HELP #I told you to stop queuing me that

[flotocuna]

(I'm stumbling with these two -_- )

[flotocuna]

"Why, dearest, we thought you'd be excited to see your aunties here." Anna started, while Beth's eyes darted around the room, looking for... honestly, they had both forgotten, but they were sure it would come back to them.

And they were sure Dewey would aid them eventually. After all, they were family, and far from the only firestarter aligned triplets. Which the man in front of them knew very well.

"Which ones are the Quagmires?" "Triplets?" "Oh, we thought for certain there were only two of them." They feigned innocence, which was easy enough when they really couldn't - no, didn't want to - remember that those children had also lost a triplet.

"We just came to see you." "And your brothers." "Particularly Ernest." "Now would you be a dear and call them over, Dewey?" Beth reached out, clasping a hand on his arm, and leaning in.

"We WILL be speaking to them, so you might as well call them over." She leaned back, only for Anna to dreamily chime in, "It'll be lovely to have a family reunion."

@flotocuna liked for a starter!

“What are you doing here at this hour?” Dewey asked, his voice coming out more brusque than he would have liked it. Don’t be rude, he reprimanded himself. They’re family.

Still, it was hard to take, seeing two women who had taken the triplets into their home when they were young and then much later run off with a wicked and deplorable man who had done unspeakable things to three other young triplets…. all in the family.

“If you’re here for information, or secrets, or to make amends, you won’t find it so easily. Not unless you’re willing to tell me where the Quagmire triplets are currently being held.”

#vfdlibrarian #I have no idea how to write these two jfhdhdj #I told you to stop queuing me that

[flotocuna]

"See, we thought you were the knight in shining armour type." "Or have we just overestimated how much she means to you?" They exchanged a look of false pity, clicking their tongues and shaking their heads. "That poor girl..." "All alone." "Surrounded by her 'enemies'." "Forced to join." "Perhaps even... brainwashed."

They turned to stare at him, false pity thrown off by a snug, devious sparkle in the eyes of the one on the left (Beth, not that anyone could tell them apart usually). "We brought it to you out of concern." "We're SO very worried about her."

"Don't you want to come with us to save her?"

flotocuna ( twins. )

The twins exchanged a glance, scowling at each other, before leaning together to ‘whisper’ loudly.

“I told you we should have forced that chatterbox to dress up instead of ‘Dore.”

“And I told you I think this one knows them, so it wouldn’t have worked. We can still make this work.”

They straightened back up, fixing their gaze on Gustav. “Well, it seems you know those are fakes -” “-but there will be real ones when that girl decides to stop fighting and join the troupe.”

“Which she will.” “Because we have her captured.” “And it’s join or die.” The fact that they actually didn’t have Jacqueline, or any other firefighter, for that matter, was a detail they’d stay quiet on.

         ‘i have a feeling i know her much better than you do if you think that’s going to scare me.’ of course, he was SCARED that she might get hurt while captured if she was, but he knew how strong she was. frankly, he knew how well she could take care of herself and his AID was hardly needed. ‘there’s no way she’ll join you.’

           ‘if i HYPOTHETICALLY believed you, what are you bringing it to me for? i don’t respond to threats.’ not that two old ladies could really stand up against him as a threat.

#sebaldcoded #I told you to stop queuing me that

[flotocuna]

@sebaldcoded liked for a lyric starter!

“We do what we must because we can, for the good of all of us-”

“-except the ones who are dead.”

#song is still alive by jonathan coulton #sebaldcoded