feytaeyoon

[feytaeyoon]

a new hobby.

open

the music scene is not a place that taeyoon is a stranger too nor unfamiliar with. he’s always been into music even without the influence of his best friend but never found it in him to start pursuing it in anyway. normally he was content to listen to it and be there with this friend as he built the band. it was fun being able to watch him grow and be able to hear what he can create. 

but these days he finds himself growing more interested in actually taking a part. no, he doesn’t really mean joining the band. he doesn’t think he would ever be into the band life style--but doing something would be fun? yeah.. he knows how to play piano an he picked up guitar once when his friend offfered to help. but he found a new interest in -- surprisingly -- the violin. 

which is why he finds himself sitting on the edge of a water fountain in a less populated street, tuning his violin. he was only out here because of the nice weather and desire to not be home. with jisung busy with his part time job, taeyoon needed something to do. so he figured he could get some practice in. 

#i just got out of the doctors so this is the best i got #open starter i suppose? #if anyone wants to reply feel free!

[feytaeyoon]

it’s strange, looking at jaeyong across the table from him right now. the older boy seems so much different from the person he saw in november and yet it’s not different in a way that would be bad. though taeyoon is not someone who enjoys changes he can see how much.. lighter jaeyong seems. almost better? though he had never really thought there was anything wrong with the older male in the first place. to blind by his own adoration ( and more than a little crush ) to ever see what was underneath it all. and he would probably never truly understand it. 

his memories of jaeyong, out side of the last few months up to them not talking, are all good. all painted in positive light of this amazing boy who saved his life all those years ago. and yeah, he probably does still hold a small flame of affection for the other. but really all that is left is the desire to be friends. 

proper friends this time--if they can manage that. 

“you look...” he pauses, eyes tracing over the features of jaeyongs face and taking in his expression as much as he can. his body relaxes a little more in the chair, finally coming to accept that this isn’t some hidden agenda meeting where he ambushes him about his knowledge of creatures in his life. “good, happy? or well, maybe just not as tense?” he replies, trying to seem reassuring but he’s sure he still sounds confused. ever the lost teen around his hyung.

and he finds himself even more confused and surprised as jaeyong speaks, taking it all in. there’s a painful twinge in his chest at the mention of a boyfriend--not because of the former feelings he did have for the older before him, but because he ends up thinking of a certain werewolf before he can stop himself. “that all sounds like a good lot. and uh--congrats?” he offers, a small unsure smile forming before he ducks his head. fingers tapping his phone which he had slapped facedown on the table. the polaroid of him and jisung clear to see in the back of his clear case. 

“nothing big has changed recently, or well, kind of not? i mean, jiji--jisung and i are friends again..” his tongue slips out to wet his lips, mentally reminding himself he’s trying to be real and honest, because he can’t let another friendship be hurt by his own misplaced pride and inability to just open up. “i uh, got kicked out sort of. but i still go back sometimes. they didn’t cut me off financially so i don’t really know? other than that i’ve just been.... me.” he trails off, feeling lame. his eyes still continuing to avoid looking directly at jaeyong, instead taking in the place around them.

“but i’m glad to see you again--i.. i’ve missed you, hyung.” 

the sky of jaeyong’s life is clearer now. there are still clouds, but it finally stopped storming. jaeyong hesitates to let his guard down-- knows the danger of it --but if he looks hard enough, part of this life is the most beautiful blue he’s ever seen.

he is in love, and he loves his job, and he is finally unlearning the tension that made him steel himself for whatever training would face him that day. 

if he thinks too much, the smaller role hunting plays in his life troubles him, because what is he if not a song hunter? (happier, maybe.)

so he doesn’t think too much. instead, he lives in every moment, and laughs through them as always, always putting any negativity on the backburner until it fades from his mind, left to lead to some nuclear meltdown at a later date. 

it seems like he has less time now than ever, and yet he has more drive to fill his life with warmth. he, finally, is willing to do the work it takes to receive it, and keep it, and maybe to even deserve it. he realized bit by bit that he didn’t have to manipulate people, that there was some truth to seoyun calling him brainwashed, that there was joy in sincerity.

don’t get him wrong; manipulation is still fun. he knows better than to claim he’s a good person and believe it even now. he simply has all the love he needs now.

he gets it from huangjun, and he returns it, and maybe their love is a storm in its own right, but the kind that comes after a drought, bringing everything back to life. he can’t help but think of him now, sitting alone at a table in his favorite restaurant close to his new workplace, waiting for taeyoon.

jaeyong reached out first. jaeyong was too distracted by his own battles, manipulation turned on another target, to keep up with taeyoon much. he likely proved how little their relationship mattered to him, and how much he saw taeyoon as nothing but someone to use for his own benefit, monopolizing his attention, giving nothing genuine in return. maybe taeyoon knows the truth, or maybe he doesn’t, but now that the dust has settled, jaeyong thinks he might’ve mattered more than he thought.

it was enough to text him and ask him how he was doing, at least, and to coordinate lunch to catch up. he hasn’t seen taeyoon since he replaced the bandage on his vampire bite and tracked down the party guilty of the attack. jaeyong figured taeyoon had more of a personal stake in that vampire’s wellbeing than he originally anticipated, and that had something to do with their lack of communication, but he was content to let their relationship fall to the wayside then.

taeyoon seemed more than willing to meet up, however, and jaeyong is...relieved. maybe he even missed taeyoon, in all of his over-eager admiration.

he looks up when he hears the chime on the door, indicating a new customer, and sure enough, there taeyoon is. jaeyong shoots him a characteristic crooked smile, and it stays on his face even as taeyoon sits down and he says, “long time no see.”

  ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈  @feytaeyoon ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

#feyjaeyong #( paragraph ) #taeyoon voice: boyfriend??? YOURE GAY?? #taeyoon: jaeyong hyung not being single to mingle w hurts

[feytaeyoon]

things have been so weird lately. 

not that things havent always been a little bit in the state of weird since that night years ago, but well, the weird lately is a new one. he doesn’t really like it if he was being honest. though there is some good in it. him and jisung were finally on the mend and taeyoon can ( to himself ) admit that he is head over heels for his best friend. though he knows now is not the time to be bringing that up considering they just recently managed to get back into the realm of friendship. 

and then there’s the whole thing with is parents that really isn’t getting any better but well, taeyoon hasn’t exactly been around to allow it to get better. though he doesn’t think they would want to do anything about the rising tensions. he assumes if he just stopped coming home they wouldn’t even notice.

and now he finds himself meeting up with someone he was certain he wouldn’t end up seeing again. the time that has passed between the last time he saw jaeyong to now was lengthy thats for sure. taeyoon knows though that it wasn’t just jaeyong not reaching out as he also did nothing to reach out to the older so this whole not talking thing was on the both of them. but still, he’s surprised that they’re doing this now. 

happy, but surprised.

he’s a little wary as he sits across the table from the older, a small smile forming despite his hesitance. “hey hyung, it has been a while.” he agrees, tapping his fingers on the table lightly as he tries pushing his thoughts to the side so he can focus instead of this meeting. “how have you been?” 

✂ ── TO BE HONEST

the sky of jaeyong’s life is clearer now. there are still clouds, but it finally stopped storming. jaeyong hesitates to let his guard down– knows the danger of it –but if he looks hard enough, part of this life is the most beautiful blue he’s ever seen.

he is in love, and he loves his job, and he is finally unlearning the tension that made him steel himself for whatever training would face him that day. 

if he thinks too much, the smaller role hunting plays in his life troubles him, because what is he if not a song hunter? (happier, maybe.)

so he doesn’t think too much. instead, he lives in every moment, and laughs through them as always, always putting any negativity on the backburner until it fades from his mind, left to lead to some nuclear meltdown at a later date. 

it seems like he has less time now than ever, and yet he has more drive to fill his life with warmth. he, finally, is willing to do the work it takes to receive it, and keep it, and maybe to even deserve it. he realized bit by bit that he didn’t have to manipulate people, that there was some truth to seoyun calling him brainwashed, that there was joy in sincerity.

don’t get him wrong; manipulation is still fun. he knows better than to claim he’s a good person and believe it even now. he simply has all the love he needs now.

he gets it from huangjun, and he returns it, and maybe their love is a storm in its own right, but the kind that comes after a drought, bringing everything back to life. he can’t help but think of him now, sitting alone at a table in his favorite restaurant close to his new workplace, waiting for taeyoon.

jaeyong reached out first. jaeyong was too distracted by his own battles, manipulation turned on another target, to keep up with taeyoon much. he likely proved how little their relationship mattered to him, and how much he saw taeyoon as nothing but someone to use for his own benefit, monopolizing his attention, giving nothing genuine in return. maybe taeyoon knows the truth, or maybe he doesn’t, but now that the dust has settled, jaeyong thinks he might’ve mattered more than he thought.

it was enough to text him and ask him how he was doing, at least, and to coordinate lunch to catch up. he hasn’t seen taeyoon since he replaced the bandage on his vampire bite and tracked down the party guilty of the attack. jaeyong figured taeyoon had more of a personal stake in that vampire’s wellbeing than he originally anticipated, and that had something to do with their lack of communication, but he was content to let their relationship fall to the wayside then.

taeyoon seemed more than willing to meet up, however, and jaeyong is…relieved. maybe he even missed taeyoon, in all of his over-eager admiration.

he looks up when he hears the chime on the door, indicating a new customer, and sure enough, there taeyoon is. jaeyong shoots him a characteristic crooked smile, and it stays on his face even as taeyoon sits down and he says, “long time no see.”

  ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈  @feytaeyoon ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

#feyjaeyong #( paragraph ) #( the way I've tried posting this twice and tumblr keeps fucking up on me )

[feytaeyoon]

it’s funny how something can happen in a way that is so different than imagined. a situation that taeyoon has played out in his mind a hundred times, worried about for hours on end until the point of making himself sick, had gone so... much easier than he thought it would. though he had imagined the outcome to be negative in every little day dream where he played out trying to fix things. the assumption that he’d burnt the bridge so well that the mere idea of trying to fix it was impossible. 

a hundred scenarios that normally ended with him alone and jisung leaving. 

it’s funny how many times he has come up with the worst case scenario of something only for it to end up being better than expected. his mind instantly thinking of the catastrophe that could happen and was likely to happen instead of allowing himself the smidgen of hope that it would all go well. 

so when jisung squeezes his hand and says those words that taeyoon had so desperately wanted to hear he almost thought he heard wrong. or that maybe he had found himself in a dream and any moment now he would wake up in his bed room. his eyes were wide as he looked at his oldest and closest friend, trying to see if maybe he was pulling a trick on him. but as always he sees nothing in jisungs face that would belay dishonesty. 

and like always he can read the other like a book. understanding without needing the details. 

it makes his chest feel tight, and his eyes feel heavy, and there is only a little hesitation in the teen before he ends up attaching himself to jisung. hugging the other for the first time in two years. seeking the familiar warmth and comfort that comes from the person he has always trusted and loved. “i missed you so much, jiji. i'm sorry--i'm sorry i ran that day and then... then acted like a total bitch for ages.” he got out in a wobbly voice but for once he was able to contain his emotions just enough to keep the tears back. “i was dumb an--and i realize that now and -- god, i just want my best friend back...” 

@feyjisung

the cold air is but one of the many things bothering taeyoon as he hovers outside the club. his arms crossed over his chest and eyes watching the door with a strange nervousness that isn’t typical of taeyoon. someone who has always been so ready to jump head first into things. he isn’t one to be intimidated easily, or bothered by the thoughts and opinions of others. even the last two years of fighting with his best friend he never let it stop him from going to places he wanted to go. like this club before him.

he knows the band is in there, always knows their schedule even if right now he isn’t really talking to anyone in said band like he use to. one person who seemed to forget about him, and one who he pushed away. 

the stinging of the cold air against his face isn’t enough right now to push him forward. even if right now he could really use loud music and a pumped up crowd to just forget everything going on in is life. he knows what brought him here and who he’s seeking out but he finds himself.. nervous. unable to continue on. the fingers of his right hand raise slowly to softly poke at the thin cut and bruise along his left cheek. the memory of a aged hand wearing a bulky ring lashing out and catching him just right , marking him in a way he never has been before. 

maybe it’s because he doesn’t want jisung to see him like this. for his friend to see just how broken down taeyoon has let himself become recently. the self imposed guilt eating at him and the growing tension at his parents him. maybe he’s worried jisung has finally grown sick of him, tired of the game the two have been playing. his heart aches thinking about having lost his chance to make amends. especially.. knowing what he knows about himself. 

his bottom lip wobbles a little, the tell tell sign that his body wants to just cry it out, and he finds himself dropping down onto the curb a little down the street form the club. he can’t go in, not this way, not right now. 

no matter how much he wants to, he can't rely on his friend right now. it wouldn't be right. he just... he has ot find some way to talk to jisung first.

#feyjisung #( paragraph )

[feytaeyoon]

there’s a tiny little voice in taeyoons head that whispers to him how so undeserving he is of this attention from jisung. his eyes moving to land on his long time friend and seeming to be trying to figure out if jisung really meant what he said. he knows his friend has never been one to say things without meaning them but there has always been two years with the two of them not really talking all that much. other than fighting.

he isn’t sure if in that time his quite friend changed and thus finds himself worried that jisung could merely be humoring him for the time. 

but then again something tells him that isn’t the case. something in the way jisung moves closer and keeps looking at him--something in his eyes that has taeyoons heart aching. the desire to just cling onto his friend and never let him go again wells up in him.

he manages to hold it back, mostly, but taeyoon does end up reaching out with one hand to slowly--hesitantly--lace his fingers with one of jisungs hands. he’s nervous, scared to be rejected, but desperately wanting the contact. desperately seeking some kind of obvious notion that there is a chance him and jisung are going to be okay. 

only then does he finally answer the question, shoulders sagging as he lets out a long heavy breath. “you know how my parents are.” is his response and he wonders if he really needs to go into dept. then again he also knows jisung wouldn’t be fully aware of how bad things have gotten. wouldn’t know what has been going on because taeyoon hadn’t let him in for the longest time.

“things have been... weird lately. after-- after the thing with sebin hyung and halloween.” he takes a shuttering breath, blinking away tears quickly. “i just haven’t... i don’t... ugh-- god. i don’t know why i suddenly can’t talk.” taeyoon pauses for a moment before he glances at jisung again then continues. “i’ve been a horrible friend, jiji-- don’t say i haven’t--and.. i just didn’t--i don’t know still, really, how to fix it. if i even can. i don’t think i have any right to even call you my friend anymore. but without you, when it’s just me, i become so... lost? and i know now that this was all on me but i--it was hard to stop.. being me for a moment... to be able to say i'm sorry to you.” then it’s like the dam was broken as words start pouring out of him, shaky and almost incoherent. a rambling mess like he always is. 

@feyjisung

the cold air is but one of the many things bothering taeyoon as he hovers outside the club. his arms crossed over his chest and eyes watching the door with a strange nervousness that isn’t typical of taeyoon. someone who has always been so ready to jump head first into things. he isn’t one to be intimidated easily, or bothered by the thoughts and opinions of others. even the last two years of fighting with his best friend he never let it stop him from going to places he wanted to go. like this club before him.

he knows the band is in there, always knows their schedule even if right now he isn’t really talking to anyone in said band like he use to. one person who seemed to forget about him, and one who he pushed away. 

the stinging of the cold air against his face isn’t enough right now to push him forward. even if right now he could really use loud music and a pumped up crowd to just forget everything going on in is life. he knows what brought him here and who he’s seeking out but he finds himself.. nervous. unable to continue on. the fingers of his right hand raise slowly to softly poke at the thin cut and bruise along his left cheek. the memory of a aged hand wearing a bulky ring lashing out and catching him just right , marking him in a way he never has been before. 

maybe it’s because he doesn’t want jisung to see him like this. for his friend to see just how broken down taeyoon has let himself become recently. the self imposed guilt eating at him and the growing tension at his parents him. maybe he’s worried jisung has finally grown sick of him, tired of the game the two have been playing. his heart aches thinking about having lost his chance to make amends. especially.. knowing what he knows about himself. 

his bottom lip wobbles a little, the tell tell sign that his body wants to just cry it out, and he finds himself dropping down onto the curb a little down the street form the club. he can’t go in, not this way, not right now. 

no matter how much he wants to, he can't rely on his friend right now. it wouldn't be right. he just... he has ot find some way to talk to jisung first.

#feyjisung #( paragraph ) #( can't they just kiss and make up already )

[feytaeyoon]

Cw mention of alcohol 

There’s no judgement in taeyoons expression at the admission he receives from kyuhwan. In fact he keeps the same rather friendly smile in place, not even really reacting other than a small nod. Though it is a little odd that someone of the age that he’s assuming the other to be to not be much of a drinker--he knows it’s not rare. Not everyone spends their weekends blacked out to avoid family. 

“that’s no biggie.” He replies, then hums as his gaze goes around the kitchen, taking in everything that’s set up. “do you want something non alcoholic then? I’m sure we can find a soda or even juice?” He knows there’s bound to be someone who brought stuff for mixing. Maybe a chaser. 

Now that he’s thinking about it, taeyoon himself should probably get a water. Wouldn’t be fun to make a bad impression on his new found companion by getting trashed quickly. 

“though honestly i was thinking of gettin’ out of here, it’s a bit lame as parties go?” His eyes go back onto the other boy, a question on his face. Wondering if he was right in assuming kyuhwan wasn’t feeling the most at ease in this setting. Parties arent for everyone, and thats okay. Taeyoon doesn’t actually enjoy them he just likes the escape and finding something to do in his free time. 

He sets his cup on the counter while pulling out his phone with his other hand. “there’s a cafe near by that sells amazing teas--they’re like almost magical honestly. Went when i had a headache and it was like it just vanished!” 

music flows through the building, filling each room with the chill tune and keeping any kind of silence fall over the party. faces of unfamiliar people pass by taeyoon’s eyes from his spot in the main room. some of them make eye contact with him, some even look as if they want to stop and talk but seem to realize he isn’t wanting to talk. if the slight glare he gave anyone who so much as let their eyes linger on him was a good enough give away.

he wasn’t really here for fun--despite that being the overall purpose of a party. the teen sitting with a drink in his lap and his phone in his hand. no, he wasn’t here for fun, but mostly just for something to do. a place where there’s enough noise to drown out the noise in his head. keep his own thoughts from over taking him and drowning him in the comfort of cheap drinks and poorly dressed people.

he knows most people here are university students but that’s no excuse for the lack of fashion. he’s seen maybe four people dressed well.

maybe it’s his own pickiness. of the fact everything he has on his designer in some way.

his eyes raise from his phone to sweep around the room again, wondering if anyone here was actually someone he knows or if he was going to continue sitting here doing nothing but scrolling his phone. he thought about maybe finding someone to dance with or even just going to mingle when his eyes landed on someone who appeared to have just arrived. his brows raised as he took in the sight of @feykyuhwan and more importantly, the way he is dressed. is this guy lost? sure, no one here has top fashion but they all look like they belong as a party.. but this guy?

that’s all it took for taeyoon to abandon his spot on the couch and make his way to the new guy. a friendly smile pulling across his lips as he got close enough to be heard over the music and chatter ( though the music wasn’t too loud in here, it was still loud ). “you look kind of lost? are parties not your thing?” despite his words there no judgement in his voice.

#feykyuhwan #( paragraph ) #cw alcohol

[feytaeyoon]

it’s never been hard for taeyoon to get jisung to talk. his best friend had always been the quiet one of the two of them and in most company the younger boy wouldn’t utter more than a word and generally those words would be in reply to taeyoon himself. it’s never been an issue though even if sometimes kids thought that to be a good enough reason to taunt and jeer. it worked for them because taeyoon likes to talk. he likes the sound of his own voice and especially likes when someone listens to him.

in his household no one ever listened to him. 

but then he met jisung, and jisung listens to him and plays with him and the two of them would do everything together. and jisung would talk for him! as they got older he would hear more of his best friends voice and it always felt so special. feeding into that possessive nature of his. jisung is his best friend so it always made sense that he would be the one to hear him talk.

but he also knows if jisung doesn’t want to talk, he won’t. taeyoon has never pushed him on this and he never would, being able to read his friend even when he’s silent. it’s why, right now, he’s a little surprise jisung is talking so much. going so far as to question him. it makes something ache in his chest but he can’t identify the feeling. 

with his head resting on his crossed arms over his knees, taeyoon shifts slightly so he was able to see the other from this ankle. gazing up at him with an almost sad expression on his face. wondering silently to himself if this would be the last time they would be able to converse calmly. wondering if jisung was giving him one last moment before cutting him out--after all, taeyoon would deserve it. 

before he can stop himself he’s replying. “i wanted to see you.” a heavy tone to his voice that is always there when taeyoon feels like crying. a give away to anyone who knows how much of a cry baby the teen is. “i-- i didn’t. i don’t know if--- i.” he chokes up a little, head turning to muffle his words in to his hands so he was no longer looking at the other. fighting against the pride in him to be fucking honest for once in his life. that shred of hope that he might be able to fix something before he really does lose every thing. 

“i didn’t know where else to go and--and you were always the one i would come too..” he can hear the wobble in his voice and god, it’s embarrassing. “i’d understand if you want me to leave--i just.. i don’t know, it’s stupid.. sorry.” 

@feyjisung

the cold air is but one of the many things bothering taeyoon as he hovers outside the club. his arms crossed over his chest and eyes watching the door with a strange nervousness that isn’t typical of taeyoon. someone who has always been so ready to jump head first into things. he isn’t one to be intimidated easily, or bothered by the thoughts and opinions of others. even the last two years of fighting with his best friend he never let it stop him from going to places he wanted to go. like this club before him.

he knows the band is in there, always knows their schedule even if right now he isn’t really talking to anyone in said band like he use to. one person who seemed to forget about him, and one who he pushed away. 

the stinging of the cold air against his face isn’t enough right now to push him forward. even if right now he could really use loud music and a pumped up crowd to just forget everything going on in is life. he knows what brought him here and who he’s seeking out but he finds himself.. nervous. unable to continue on. the fingers of his right hand raise slowly to softly poke at the thin cut and bruise along his left cheek. the memory of a aged hand wearing a bulky ring lashing out and catching him just right , marking him in a way he never has been before. 

maybe it’s because he doesn’t want jisung to see him like this. for his friend to see just how broken down taeyoon has let himself become recently. the self imposed guilt eating at him and the growing tension at his parents him. maybe he’s worried jisung has finally grown sick of him, tired of the game the two have been playing. his heart aches thinking about having lost his chance to make amends. especially.. knowing what he knows about himself. 

his bottom lip wobbles a little, the tell tell sign that his body wants to just cry it out, and he finds himself dropping down onto the curb a little down the street form the club. he can’t go in, not this way, not right now. 

no matter how much he wants to, he can't rely on his friend right now. it wouldn't be right. he just... he has ot find some way to talk to jisung first.

#feyjisung #( paragraph ) #( hey I'm crying #VEL IM CRYING )

[feytaeyoon]

it’s startling when jisung just crosses the distance between them and takes a seat beside taeyoon on the curb. it’s cold out but it’s not as bad when his old friend comes within range. even though taeyoon doesn’t understand why he’s sticking around. he owes nothing to taeyoon, the older boy has been nothing but a horrible friend the last two years and he would have figured jisung to given up on him at this point. 

his chest aches at the idea but he knows he deserves it. 

so when, instead, jisung stays by his side, he can’t help but grasp onto the hope that maybe there is still something here worth saving. maybe not all hope is lost and he has a chance to redeem himself in the eyes of his friend. the most important person in his life. 

taeyoon relaxes slightly, almost slumping as he crosses his arms over his knees and rest his chin on them. he doesn’t look at jisung directly but he can see the other from the corner of his eye and part of him feels it might just be a figment of his imagination. he wants to reach out, to verify, but if it is fact he doesn’t want to ruin the image. 

“aren’t you cold?” he asks after a long moment of them sitting there. he doesn’t know what else to say right now. doesn’t know what he could say or should say or even how to start any of it. 

a part of him knows he needs to just start with the simple words of i'm sorry and let it go from there, but it’s so much harder than in practice to say those words. to take the responsibility would to be admitting to ones own faults and taeyoon has never been good at that. to show any kind of weakness would be to set oneself up for disaster in his world. 

“do you ever... think that maybe the world is out to get us?”

@feyjisung

the cold air is but one of the many things bothering taeyoon as he hovers outside the club. his arms crossed over his chest and eyes watching the door with a strange nervousness that isn’t typical of taeyoon. someone who has always been so ready to jump head first into things. he isn’t one to be intimidated easily, or bothered by the thoughts and opinions of others. even the last two years of fighting with his best friend he never let it stop him from going to places he wanted to go. like this club before him.

he knows the band is in there, always knows their schedule even if right now he isn’t really talking to anyone in said band like he use to. one person who seemed to forget about him, and one who he pushed away. 

the stinging of the cold air against his face isn’t enough right now to push him forward. even if right now he could really use loud music and a pumped up crowd to just forget everything going on in is life. he knows what brought him here and who he’s seeking out but he finds himself.. nervous. unable to continue on. the fingers of his right hand raise slowly to softly poke at the thin cut and bruise along his left cheek. the memory of a aged hand wearing a bulky ring lashing out and catching him just right , marking him in a way he never has been before. 

maybe it’s because he doesn’t want jisung to see him like this. for his friend to see just how broken down taeyoon has let himself become recently. the self imposed guilt eating at him and the growing tension at his parents him. maybe he’s worried jisung has finally grown sick of him, tired of the game the two have been playing. his heart aches thinking about having lost his chance to make amends. especially.. knowing what he knows about himself. 

his bottom lip wobbles a little, the tell tell sign that his body wants to just cry it out, and he finds himself dropping down onto the curb a little down the street form the club. he can’t go in, not this way, not right now. 

no matter how much he wants to, he can't rely on his friend right now. it wouldn't be right. he just... he has ot find some way to talk to jisung first.

#feyjisung #( paragraph ) #( ive tried replying to this so many times today #and here i am replying when tipsy )

[feytaeyoon]

WOOYOUNG || IT’S RAINING || IMMORTAL SONGS

#( oh how you wish to fly - - -

[feytaeyoon]

he’s always known that jaeyong is observant. knows that the older doesn’t miss much especially when it comes to anything supernatural. has seen the way he picks up anything taeyoon might accidentally let slip. normally though taeyoon is able to pass it off as something else. or even just switching it around to ask the hunter about something to do with the creatures. 

after all he’s come to learn it might be better that jaeyong doesn’t know he has more than a few creature friends. 

there’s also the problem that taeyoon has where he dislikes being dishonest with jaeyong. at least to a degree--after all he fully believes still he owes jaeyong for saving him all those years ago. the older is someone he still looks up to a bit ( even if theres a bitter sting of jealously in that since the older doesn’t ever seem to have time for him ). jaeyong is his trusted hyung who has always protected him and yet taeyoon repays him with lying and keeping things? he feels that familiar feeling of guilt well up inside his chest as he feels jaeyong finish tending to his wound. 

perhaps... he could explain without going into detail. after all, the odds of a vampire attacking him who knows him would be slim right? jaeyong doesn’t need to know who the vampire is. 

“yeah... a vampire.” he finally admits with a sigh, his shoulders slumping a little even as he makes eye contact with the older. seeking that warmth from the older for proof that they’re still close and they’re still friends and that jaeyong cares for him even if its just a little. 

he use to think he might be in love with jaeyong but he knows now it’s admiration. an intense desire to be close with someone so cool. for jaeyong to view him as someone important. he’s always wanted to be friends with the older boy ever since they met back in school and that only grew when the hunter saved him. sometimes he fully believes that he’s someone of importance to jaeyong. he hears the softness and see’s the concern and he thinks yeah. this hyung cares about me, but then there will be days or even weeks where jaeyong doesn’t speak to him. if it hadn’t been for training, taeyoon isn’t sure he would have even seen the other today. 

but for now he would soak up the attention, bask in it like a cat enjoying a bit of sunlight in the middle of a snow storm. 

“it-- it seemed like a younger one? like it didn’t have any control.” he dropped his gaze to his hands, clenching them together as he started going into what happened. “one moment i was talking to a friend and the next i felt something grab me.” jisung flashes in his mind, his beautiful best friend who hadn’t hesitated to defend him. “the friend i was with startled it? and when it was pulled off well-- the bite became a scratch.” his eyes widened a little and he was looking back at jaeyong. “wait-- i'm not going to become one now, right??” 

he’s unsettled-- restless. it is school, practice for his band, his own training (newly resumed), and always, always, huangjun at the back of his mind when he isn’t with him. it is taking care of someone when he never has before, when he never thought he was capable of it before. it takes up so many of his hours, and strangely, he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

sometimes he’s needed elsewhere, however, and today, he’s needed with taeyoon. he leaves huangjun in seoyun’s expert care, then invites taeyoon over. taeyoon, who disappeared off the face of the earth for a few days, something jaeyong likely should’ve also been restless over, but wasn’t. jaeyong has little capacity for worry, an entirely new emotion for him, and that’s currently reserved for huangjun. under different circumstances, would taeyoon’s absence cause him some distress? unknown. 

he’s back, however, and jaeyong doesn’t ask questions. in this case, jaeyong makes decisions: training him is of the utmost importance-- important enough to lose some time with huangjun. he doesn’t want someone else close to him to get hurt again, even for as much as he claims not to care for taeyoon. it’s not that exactly, it would just be...inconvenient. maybe, just maybe, jaeyong doesn’t want to see him suffer either. he doesn’t want to feel like he failed as a teacher with someone else.

they’re in the song family training basement, mats down for safety, though the chances of either of them ending up on the ground are probably low. better to be safe, maybe, or maybe it would be better to fight on nothing but the floor-- full immersion. they won’t actually fight on mats when it matters, after all, but for now, it’ll do.

he walks taeyoon through the best moves of self defense, and today, covers a little bit of offense as well. try to hit me, he told him, after teaching him a fast and easy way to strike-- a good introduction for beginners. “too slow,” jaeyong sing-songs with a grin as he sidesteps taeyoon’s attack easily. naturally, this is exactly what he anticipated. more than that, he circles taeyoon altogether, but pauses.

there’s a bandage on his neck, and more than that, he’s bleeding through it. jaeyong didn’t properly notice it before, but now, it must be addressed. he puts on his best concerned voice, and the face to match. “you’re bleeding. what happened?”

     ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈  @feytaeyoon ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

#feyjaeyong #( paragraph ) #( blood and thunder ) #(idk how i managed to make this so much longer again) #( taeyoon really got into his feels )

[feytaeyoon]

there’s something funny about this situation, taeyoon sitting on the curb feeling heart broken over a boy he hasn’t even had the chance to properly like. funny because there was a time when taeyoon would say they would be together forever. friends forever. he never thought there would be a time when he didn’t have jisung by his side. the two of them have been friends for so long and for a while there taeyoon was certain it would be forever. after all they worked so well together why would they ever split? 

he hadn’t realized at the time what his feelings really meant and now he believes he won’t ever get the chance to do something about the feelings. everything is all muddled and all he truly knows is he fucked up.

would jisung ever forgive him? does he deserve it? 

he sniffs, rubbing the sleeve of his jacket across his eyes. he doesn’t even think he has the right to cry over this because it’s his fault. he did this to them, ripped apart their bond as if it was nothing. any excuse he wants to make wouldn’t do anything to rid him of the responsibility. 

taeyoon thinks he has his emotions under control--and he knows he can’t keep sitting out here in the cold--but when he hears his name from the very voice he was hoping to hear tonight his gaze snaps up from the ground. he spots jisung easily, and his heart almost seems to jump in is chest. “jiji?” he responds, a hitch in his voice as his eyes swell. those emotions bubbling up and it was like seeing jisung was enough to finally break the damn. 

“ugh-- didn’t-- don’t you have a performance?” he gets out, dropping his head again to hide the tears rolling down his cheeks. not wanting to worry jisung--not thinking he deserves the others concern. plus he didn’t want the other to see the cut on his cheek. the only person in his life aware of the tension in his family. once upon a time he would have called jisung for an escape, after all. 

“i was just getting some fresh air.” liar.

@feyjisung

the cold air is but one of the many things bothering taeyoon as he hovers outside the club. his arms crossed over his chest and eyes watching the door with a strange nervousness that isn’t typical of taeyoon. someone who has always been so ready to jump head first into things. he isn’t one to be intimidated easily, or bothered by the thoughts and opinions of others. even the last two years of fighting with his best friend he never let it stop him from going to places he wanted to go. like this club before him.

he knows the band is in there, always knows their schedule even if right now he isn’t really talking to anyone in said band like he use to. one person who seemed to forget about him, and one who he pushed away. 

the stinging of the cold air against his face isn’t enough right now to push him forward. even if right now he could really use loud music and a pumped up crowd to just forget everything going on in is life. he knows what brought him here and who he’s seeking out but he finds himself.. nervous. unable to continue on. the fingers of his right hand raise slowly to softly poke at the thin cut and bruise along his left cheek. the memory of a aged hand wearing a bulky ring lashing out and catching him just right , marking him in a way he never has been before. 

maybe it’s because he doesn’t want jisung to see him like this. for his friend to see just how broken down taeyoon has let himself become recently. the self imposed guilt eating at him and the growing tension at his parents him. maybe he’s worried jisung has finally grown sick of him, tired of the game the two have been playing. his heart aches thinking about having lost his chance to make amends. especially.. knowing what he knows about himself. 

his bottom lip wobbles a little, the tell tell sign that his body wants to just cry it out, and he finds himself dropping down onto the curb a little down the street form the club. he can’t go in, not this way, not right now. 

no matter how much he wants to, he can't rely on his friend right now. it wouldn't be right. he just... he has ot find some way to talk to jisung first.

#feyjisung #( paragraph ) #( oh boy here we go )

[feytaeyoon]

waiting.

@feyjisung

the cold air is but one of the many things bothering taeyoon as he hovers outside the club. his arms crossed over his chest and eyes watching the door with a strange nervousness that isn’t typical of taeyoon. someone who has always been so ready to jump head first into things. he isn’t one to be intimidated easily, or bothered by the thoughts and opinions of others. even the last two years of fighting with his best friend he never let it stop him from going to places he wanted to go. like this club before him.

he knows the band is in there, always knows their schedule even if right now he isn’t really talking to anyone in said band like he use to. one person who seemed to forget about him, and one who he pushed away. 

the stinging of the cold air against his face isn’t enough right now to push him forward. even if right now he could really use loud music and a pumped up crowd to just forget everything going on in is life. he knows what brought him here and who he’s seeking out but he finds himself.. nervous. unable to continue on. the fingers of his right hand raise slowly to softly poke at the thin cut and bruise along his left cheek. the memory of a aged hand wearing a bulky ring lashing out and catching him just right , marking him in a way he never has been before. 

maybe it’s because he doesn’t want jisung to see him like this. for his friend to see just how broken down taeyoon has let himself become recently. the self imposed guilt eating at him and the growing tension at his parents him. maybe he’s worried jisung has finally grown sick of him, tired of the game the two have been playing. his heart aches thinking about having lost his chance to make amends. especially.. knowing what he knows about himself. 

his bottom lip wobbles a little, the tell tell sign that his body wants to just cry it out, and he finds himself dropping down onto the curb a little down the street form the club. he can’t go in, not this way, not right now. 

no matter how much he wants to, he can't rely on his friend right now. it wouldn't be right. he just... he has ot find some way to talk to jisung first.

#feyjisung #( paragraph ) #here we go!!!!!!!!!!

[feytaeyoon]

shock settles in his system like someone had dumbed ice water over his head and now he’s left just feeling cold. the teen staring wide eyed at the scene before him and honestly he doesn’t know what to do or say. he doesn’t even know what to really feel--there’s just so much to take in. so much to process.

sebin--sebin hyung who had always taken care of them growing up. sebin hyung who had been sick, and who taeyoon hadn’t really ever processed the death of. sebin hyung who was supposed to be dead. though he technically is, isn’t he? what’s the ruling on vampires? because that’s what their precious hyung is, the older male so obviously a vampire if not for the fact he had taken a bite out of taeyoons neck. if anything else had been a solid give away... 

his eyes snap to jisung when the other speaks his name, his eyes wide and scared and in this moment he’s glad to have jisung here with him. that the one who keeps him from sinking under water is by his side. it’s not hard to undertsand what jisung wants him to do and it’s like he’s been snapped back to reality. the pain of the wound on is neck making the teen wince as he shrugs off his outer shirt. bundling it in his arms to press it to the wound on his neck. he doesn’t really have anything else to use right now after all--and he’s not about to leave jisung alone in this situation. 

plus he’s worried if he tried moving he would pass out. he’s already feeling rather light headed, woozy even from just shifting around to take off his shirt just now. 

“it’s---it’s really sebin hyung, right?” he asks, eyes still on jisung before they drop to sebin again, making eye contact with the older as he hears his name from a familiar voice. it makes his heart hurt and if it hadn’t been for the light headed ness ( and fear of vampires ) he might have moved closer. “how--what--i don’t understand... what’s going on...” 

— deja vu ,

a starter for @feyjisung and @feytaeyoon !

despite having woken as a vampire almost two years ago, sebin has yet to run into anyone he’d known from his former life, despite remaining in the same city.  seoul is big, after all — absolutely massive, and sebin has spent most of the past two years confined to the apartment that sungha lives in. it shouldn’t be surprising. most of the time that sebin spends outside is utterly distracting, anyways — there are too many sounds, too many smells, too many things to distract the fledging vampire who has really not been trained or taken care of the way he should have been. 

he exists in a constant state of uncertainty, never really sure if what he’s experiencing is some dream, or if he’s actually existing in real life. to him, it still doesn’t make sense that he’s somehow... a vampire. he’d never even been bitten...

sebin slinks through the streets, trying to focus on ignoring the sound of the numerous heartbeats that he can still hear, more sensitive for his deprivation. he mumbles softly to himself, the words rather incoherent as he tries to sort through his jumbled thoughts. he’s out here to do a job... something sungha had assigned to him, something simple. sebin should be able to do it.

but, as always, his ability to control himself is far less than it should be. a moment of distraction is all it takes — an oddly familiar scent, a feeling that he knows this, and he drifts towards the distraction without even thinking. the sense of familiarity grows stronger and stronger the more he approaches and he doesn’t know why, the sound of a steady heartbeat — two — sounding loudly in his ears, drowning out any sense of restraint in its wake. 

sebin had never been stupid. far from it, in fact. but the constant state of confusion that he lived in, spurred partially by his constant deprivation, had severely impacted his ability to process things in a coherent way. if he had been aware, he surely wouldn’t have decided that attacking the human was a good idea when there were two heartbeats thrumming close to each other. 

but sebin isn’t aware — lost to his instincts that he hadn’t been taught how to control properly, with restraint, and he seizes onto the familiar, familiar scent, sharp fangs sliding into the skin of the human’s neck without restraint.

#feysebin #feyjisung #blood tw #( paragraph ) #this thread is painful but i love it

[feytaeyoon]

in his quest to avoid being at home anytime his parents are around -- or worse, his charming older brother -- taeyoon had found himself loitering around the plaza for the winter festival that was going on. he needed the outing both to keep himself from thinking too hard on... well everything he has been worrying over lately, as well as avoid the fun festivities that are happening at home currently. a business party hosted by his parents that he hadn’t even wanted to go to and unsurprisingly hadn’t gotten invited too. 

normally he’d have gone to jisung to hide out... 

as he’s contemplating leaving his eyes land on someone headed his way. a grin breaks across the teens face as he see’s taewoo. it always seems like he runs into the older male on accident. makes taeyoon wondering if he should finally get around to getting the others phone number. then maybe they’re meetings wouldn’t be randomly. 

“taewoo hyung~~” he greets, forgoing any and all politeness ( such as bowing ) which isn’t unusual for taeyoon. he’s a rich brat after all. “you don’t seem like the christmas party type, did you come looking for me? ooo is that coffee? what kind?” there’s a hint of a whine to his voice as he closes the distance, latching onto taewoo’s arm that isn’t holding the coffee and turning puppy eyes onto the older. 

walking in a winter wonderland.

@feytaeyoon 

after his brief stint at the olympics, the last thing taewoo wants is to see someone he knows at the plaza. it’s crowded, and he knows that realistically the odds aren’t in his favour and that if he really wants to avoid everyone he knows, there’s even an optimal route home that’ll more than likely be quiet, but something drags him to the plaza. he tells himself he deserves to destress, that it’s the time of year making him soft. he couldn’t say what the truth really is, but he’s willing to bet it’s something he something he isn’t quite ready to admit to himself yet anyway. 

for now, he sets his sights on a cup of overpriced coffee. the brew at these events is never quite right and you pay through the nose for the sludge but it’s a winter time tradition to feel the cheap styrofoam between his palms. once he’s taken his first sip, his shoulder’s visibly deflate. 

he takes a deep breath, and then exhales. his eyes close gently, then flutter open at the sound of people brushing past him. it’s instinct to let his gaze wander over the crowd, softening slightly when he spots a familiar face amongst them — alone, just like him. he approaches with a little caution, just in case, his coffee still close to his lips. “fancy seeing you here.” 

#fey; plaza #( paragraph ) #feytaewoo #thank you so much for starting!

[feytaeyoon]

When he had arrived back to his bedroom with the sardines there were a few things he expected. He thought that cat might be wondering around, maybe checking out the new scents. Or that maybe it had found a way out and he just comes back to an empty room. The last thing he thought it could be was just walking into the cat laying right where he had laid it, maybe sleeping, maybe just vibing.

He did not expect to open his door and find himself staring at an obviously naked man. 

he blinks, once. Then again.

“what the fuck?!” The words come out louder than he meant them too, startled but not attempting to run or attack the obvious stranger. Honestly, for finding someone weird and unknown standing naked at his window, his reaction isn’t really that... drastic. “who are you and how did you get here?” He questions, and just because it feels important he tacks on.

“and why are you naked?” 

@feyhyunwoo

treats transferred from his hand and to the ground as he continued to crouch beside this cat he’d come across when roaming around. it was hanging around this flower shop -- and taeyoon doesn’t care much for flower shops or flowers in general but he does care about cats -- so he wondered if the cat belonged to the owners. but there hadn’t appeared to be anyone inside the shop from what he can see in his position. then again he didn’t really try to check as he didn’t really care. if this is their cat they shouldn’t have just let it outside because any horrible soul could come by and take him.

not that taeyoon is some kind of horrible person who would do something like that, no way. he would never try to steal anyone's cat. 

his hand gently started running along the cats back, scratching behind its ears as he debates his next course of action. it’s been a while since he smuggled a stray into the house. his parents stopped reacting to it back years ago but taeyoon still enjoys trying to get a rise out of them. and the car he came in today is still parked near by so it wouldn’t be very hard for him to scoop up the animal and get to the car. 

the cat seems rather distracted with the treats, now would be the chance to try. but he waits for a moment. “hmm... i wonder if you have an owner..” 

#feyhyunwoo #i laughed way to hard reading this reply this is so good #( paragraph )

[feytaeyoon]

In all their years of being friends taeyoon has come to know jisung very well. He would confidently claim to be the one who understands jisung the best of anyone else in his life. The arrogance might have substance as they have always been close. Always been around each other, seeking the others company since they were kids. Taeyoon knows jisung just as he knows jisung knows him--even if jisung isn’t as confident as he is. 

He knows jisung isn’t someone who talks much which always balanced well with taeyoon who can’t seem to shut up. The older of the two always seemed to like the sound of his own voice because he could rattle on and on with out a stop in sight. But jisung has always been quieter. His words were always precious to taeyoon though because of this. To be the one who would draw more conversation out of his best friend. To be the one who could hear jisung talk more often, express himself how ever he might need to. And taeyoon has always been the one to silence himself when jisung does speak.

He never wanted to miss out on what his best friend might say. 

As if it was a normally night of them two of them hanging out ( not them sitting in an alley way with one of them injured and the other confused and scared ) he finds himself instantly quieting as jisung starts to speak. His eyes widening a little as he takes in the words and he wants so bad to snap at him. To tell him he’s being stupid because i’m the one who’s sorry. 

But he stays quiet so he wouldn’t ruin a rare moment of jisung actually expressing himself verbally. 

His shock only grows with the next words. Taeyoons heart seems to be racing in his chest as those three words register in his mind. That smile forming on his best friends face combined with it all almost seems to take him off his feet. A mixture of pain and something else -- that he really doesn’t think he needs to think about right now because he has no right to feel that emotion-- flood through his system. 

“you...” he starts but his words get choked up as his eyes fill with tears. It’s easy enough for taeyoon to do his next few actions, the teen’s chin wobbling as he barely holds back the urge to start crying. He doesn’t even hesitate to press forward and hug jisung--mindful of the other being injured--both wanting the hug and needing to hide his face as he knows he’s about to embarrass himself by crying again. He’s always hated crying which is sad as he has also always been someone who cries easily. At least with jisung he feels safe to do so. 

“you could have just called--texted me to meet you somewhere.” He chokes out, voice heavy with the sound of tears as he hugs his best friend. “Not get yourself hurt for--for this-- for me...” he can’t help the warmth that blooms through him.. the small sign that jisung really does still care for him. 

“I'm sorry..” he mumbles softly into the others shoulder. “and thank you.” 

( tw: blood )

in the midst of everything that is over, i still search for you

a blue moon—jisung thought the existence of the full moon by itself is already enough to burden his shoulders. this, however, it’s different. stronger, more ruthless. what’s worse, he has no one to guide him through it. not when the very few werewolves he know would be busier, the only person he can freely call a friend most likely busy. the supernatural may be running around, jisung doesn’t want to be caught between that crossfire or bring trouble in any way. that means he’ll have to go through the night alone, no matter how impossible it may seem.

being in his more feral form, it’s hard to control himself. most of the time, he doesn’t know what he’s doing—what he’s attacking. there’s no doubt that he’s only attracting attention, the foul stench of blood following him wherever he goes after he so acutely ripped into flesh of what he hopes isn’t human. whenever he’s in such a state, he would repeat like a mantra: i’m not myself. i didn’t do this. a desperate attempt at clinging onto whatever sanity he has left, proving unsuccessful time and time again.

who—or what, exactly—he attacks this time around isn’t human, and though he should be grateful for that, it doesn’t bode well for jisung. not when it turns out what should be his prey is more of a predator than jisung will ever be, a hunter with every intent to rip his soul out of his body. he narrowly escapes the shower of silver bullets with his life still intact, although he failed to come out of the ordeal unscathed. jisung isn’t sure how he managed to outrun the hunter, was it because he’s more familiar with the territory? no matter what it is, he knows he shouldn’t let his guard down, not when the hunter could very well have called for backup.

he uses the cover of darkness to the best of his ability. he doesn’t know whether it’s because of the sun coming up or the adrenaline he had been feeling fading away and causing him to drown in the pain of his wounds, but he’s slowly regaining his senses. enough to revert back to his more pleasing form, despite the red trickling down his skin and soaking his clothes being far from pleasing.

an alleyway is where he finds himself settling, his legs too weak to venture further for the moment. he can feel the blood oozing out of his skin the more steps he takes, so he stops, if only to take a breath. he slumps to the ground, his back against the wall, his breathing ragged. the smell of his own blood may catch the attention of other genera—but jisung is tired. and if tonight is where he dies, then what an ending that’d be. alone to the end.

is this what you wanted, @feytaeyoon ?

#taeyoon like ; best bday ever skdjDFKJNVKSJD #( paragraph ) #feyjisung

[feytaeyoon]

Pour it up

@feyhyunjin

he’s shivering by the time he steps into the cafe, a familiar place to him now due to the fact he comes to often these days. it’s a nice cafe, not overly crowded even though he fully believes the shop deserves to be famous for its drinks. and really the thought of a warm tea is the only thing getting him going after the absolute horrendous morning he had. more like a horrendous month, but well he doesn’t want to get into it. 

the teen sighs softly as he shakes as if trying to shake off the cold, rubbing his red hands together as he approaches the front counter. one of these days he’ll smarten up and wear something warmer but for now he continues to stick to his fashion aesthetic rather than warmth. 

“hello hyung.” he greets, though his voice lacks the normal overly confident happy tone he normally carries. he hopes the doesn’t appear as runs own as he feels because he doesn’t want the cool cafe shop owner to think he’s anything less than well put together. “don’t suppose you have anything special on the menu today, huh?” 

#feyhyunjin #( paragraph ) #hope this works!