feel-like-expl0sions

[feel-like-expl0sions]

I drew a little something for the Hiveworks micro comic summer~

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[feel-like-expl0sions]

and it hurts bc now i dread seeing you around campus when you used to be the person i came home to. we used to sit together in your room or lay wrapped up under your covers. i did your dishes when your head was aching and you talked me into watching what’s still my favorite show. you told me i felt like home.

i guess maybe we’re both different now, and maybe that’s better. i get to be home for somebody else. but how much did you change? how does that much love drain out of somebody?

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don’t have to try so hard to fit in

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there is a piece of my soul that is walking up to everyone ive ever loved and collapsing to his knees in front of them and gripping their hands and he is screaming im sorry and beneath it he is whispering dont leave. hes so aware of his fingernails and how badly he doesnt want them to be digging into other people’s hands. he doesnt want to do anything else wrong. i dont want to do anything else wrong. i wish love and guilt werent so connected in my head.

#is anything ive done really unforgivable #the people around me now say no but my eighteen year old self says yes #feelings

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i just want you to have a life that is easy. that is how i love you.

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I hope someday I can find someone I treasure and want to spend my life with so I can bring them a hot beverage every single night

#me making chai for my best friend while she sets up our room for dnd sessions… #prev tags so true #hot beverage = love

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love on the brain by ali hazelwood 🌸

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I'm not easy to love!!

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just had something of an epiphany about myself and im sharing in case other ppl feel the same ig??

i dont want to fall in love right now! i want to at some point, and when i do i want it to last, but im not ready for that to happen yet! im 19! its still time for me to be fucking around and finding out! its time for dumb college shit! i want to love my friends deeply and focus my energy on sticking with them as we all become adults! i want to kiss people and not really think about it! i dont want try and make a romance last forever bc forever feels too long right now! hell yeah!

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𝙵𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟷, 𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟸 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹

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im afraid im going to drive away everyone who loves me by convincing myself theyre trying to drive me away first. im afraid my anxiety will keep turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy. im not an easy person to love and im afraid of making myself extra effort. im afraid ill never get the chance to fall into someones arms and let myself rest.

#rant #love

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they say love is not a finite resource but i think maybe mine is. i never seem to save enough of the love i have for myself

#sadposting #again lol #love