thinking real hard about Billy and Steve finding each other years after they've settled into themselves.
Billy's gone to therapy and he lives in a little house on the shoreline. Steve makes it to California. Doesn't have the six nuggets, yet. He's working insane hours at a job that isn't very lucrative, but he never had to sell his soul to his old man--
So. Point is. They're happy. Content, almost.
And then they find each other.
--
Steve's burning a pot of water when the phone rings.
It's like a knife through the air. A thorn in his side, pain and annoyance ramping up to an 11 as he yanks the receiver from the wall. "Yeah, now's not a great time," He says, because the goddamn smoke alarm's gonna start wailing any second now, and Steve's neighbor is real trigger-happy when it comes to alerting the fire department. "Look, I'll call you--"
"--Why answer the phone?"
Steve would know Billy's voice anywhere, the rough and tumble drag of someone who used to live fast and hard but doesn't, anymore. "I," Steve says, "I don't--"
"--It's like. Why answer the phone if it's not a good time to talk?"
"I don't like being impolite."
Billy hums, smoke and lightning on the end of the line. "So, you weren't waiting for me to call?"
"No," Steve says. But he was. Has been since high school and all the weird, boring, disheartening years that followed until Billy appeared at the dive bar on Saturday. Like a vision. An angel.
"Damn. And here I was, taking a full 72 hours to figure out what I should say," Billy tells him.
Steve can hear a smile.
Aches to taste it, but-- "That's kinda lame, Hargrove."
"So what?"
"So. You're kinda lame, I guess."
Billy laughs at him, then, high and bright. It shoots confetti into Steve's kitchen, the curling tendrils nearly catching on fire as Steve comes back to himself. He pulls the pan of water and dumps it into the sink, killing the flame on the stove.
"Yeah, I'm a disaster. Maxine tells me all the time," Billy says, "It's just. How weird, y'know?"
"What? You?"
"No, you," Billy tells him, chuckling again. "Fell outta the sky, or something. Into a shitty dive bar."
"So did you--"
"--Fell outta my dreams."
"So did you," Steve says, and his stomach twists. Tumbles. Washing-machine guts still soiled with the bloody red spots of a decade-long crush.
"Huh. You're kinda forward, Harrington."
Steve shrugs, face burning. "Long as I'm not as lame as you are."
"Dude, I didn't say you weren't lame."
"Sure, you didn't."
Billy's next laugh Steve feels in his gut, heat pooling behind the thatch of curly down at his pelvis. "Still such a bitch, pretty boy."
"I'm just being honest. We aren't getting any younger, I'm not really interested in playing it cool, anymore."
Something rustles as Billy shifts his weight, "You were cool, once?"
"Ha-ha."
"I don't wanna play it cool, either," Billy tells him, as serious as a heart attack, "Look, can I be honest? You mind?"
Steve nods and then remembers Billy can't see him. "Go ahead."
"I can't stop thinking about you."
Steve peers through the kitchen window, trying to imagine Billy somewhere on the edge of town with sunlight in his hair. Smoking in bed, naked gold until the duvet pulls him under hips first.
"Harrington, I need to see you again."
"Need is kind of dramatic."
"Maybe I'm feeling dramatic."
"Thought this was honesty hour, Hargrove?"
"It is. Honestly? I wanna kiss you," Billy tells him. "At midnight. In the pouring rain because I was too chicken-shit to do it after our first date."
Steve focuses on not swallowing his tongue. Damn near fails. "Was that a date?"
"No, it was bigger. It was the stars aligning, the start of--"
"--God, you are feeling dramatic."
"When can I see you?"
"I dunno," Steve says, fiddling with the lip of the sink, "When are we expecting rain?"
"Not sure."
Steve can hear his smile. Aches to sink into the softness. "I need a window to commit."
"Tonight. I'll make it rain."
Steve snorts, light as air. "You're crazy."
"I've had ten years to plan for this, Steve."
"Alright, lemme--" Steve pads over to the refrigerator, peering at his Kittens and Firefighters calendar. May is covered in birthdays, vacations, late nights at work, and roll-over plans from April, all hacked into the cardstock in striking red.
Steve groans and flips to June. "--Can you still make it rain in a month?"
"A month," Billy demands, "Fuck. You're hot shit but I didn't think--"
"--I have a full-time job. And friends who want to hang out when I'm not at work, but since I use all my energy at work I cancel on them, and things get moved around and--"
"--You can't make an exception for the guy who wants to eat you out?"
The pages of the calendar flutter, May settling heavy in the room. Steve swallows and his throat clicks. "Uh. My friends--"
"--Aren't gonna eat you out."
"They would. If I asked them to, at least one of them would."
"I'm not really loving that idea, pretty boy," Billy says, teasing. "What about over a lunch break?"
"You want to eat my ass over a lunch break?" Steve snorts, "I'm not a hooker."
"What's wrong with--"
"--I'm not," Steve says, "And even if I was, I'm not cheap. You couldn't afford the hour, and we'd need more than that, anyway."
"What about a sleep over?"
"A sleepover?" Steve says, turning from the refrigerator. "Like, where I come over to your house and stay until the morning?"
"Or I come over to yours, yeah."
"But--"
"Actually, let's do yours. Maxine's place is getting fumigated, so she and Lucas are staying in the guest house."
"You have a guest house?" Steve doesn't remember mention of that during their first date, but. He was distracted.
Billy laughs, "Bet I could afford your hour, pretty boy."
"I thought," Steve says, twirling the phone cord around his hand, "In high school, I remember you telling Becky Gordes that you don't do sleepovers."
"I'm gay."
"Okay, but what about Eddie Munson? The whole school thought you were fucking him, did he ever sleep--"
"--No, my dad would've killed both of us," Billy tells him, and. Something in his voice makes Steve's blood run cold. Makes him believe it.
So he shifts gears, "But. Don't you have work tomorrow?"
"Who said anything about a sleepover tonight," Billy says. Steve imagines the look on his face. Shit-eating grin bright and sharp and beautiful as always. "Unless you want me to come over tonight?"
"I never said that."
"I can work wherever I want. I don't have to go in at all, if I don't want to."
Steve pads over to his junk drawer, digging around for a red pen. "What does Saturday look like for you?" He bites the cap off, holding it like a straw in the curl of his tongue.
Billy laughs, "I thought you said you weren't free until next month?"
Steve chews on the cap for a moment, pen shaking over the cardstock surface of his calendar. He imagines Billy like he was that night. Different but exactly the same. Charming and soft in a way that only comes from the toil of regeneration. Years and years shedding skin.
He'd been funny and smart. Quick wittted.
Sweet. Like cotton fuckin' candy.
Steve remembers not wanting the date to end, not believing that the universe would give him Billy with no strings attached and laying awake that night, hoping Billy would call, and that they'd get their chance, and now--
"Shit. What the fuck am I doing?" Steve asks, but it comes out garbled and messy and wrong. Comes out sounding like, she whale the food ham ding dong.
Billy laughs at him, again, anyway. "What?"
Steve spits the pen cap onto the counter. "You really want to eat me out tonight?"
"Damn--"
"--Because. I was too fucking stupid to realize what was happening between us in high school. Or. What was happening to me when I saw you in high school, and this is important to me," Steve says in a rush. Fuck being subtle, right? "We're not getting any younger. And I haven't slept with anyone for a long time, much less someone who I've wanted for as long as I can remember, so if you're going to come over here and fuck me--"
"Or talk," Billy says gently. "We could talk more. Get to know each other."
Steve listens to the static on the other end of the line.
"I want to get to know you again, Steve," Billy says.
And Steve cracks. Like a bowl in the microwave, curdling under pressure and heat. "Alright, just. Do you have a pen and paper?"
"For what?"
"My address," Steve says, leaning against the sink, "I want to get to know you, too."
"Tonight," Billy asks, digging around for something.
"Tonight," Steve says. "What the hell."
"Great."
"You've got something to write with?"
"Yeah," Billy says, sounding like he's barely holding it together. "Yeah, just. Whenever you're ready."
--
That night, after, just as Steve falls asleep in Billy's arms--
It rains.
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