elliot-needs-sleep - Tumblr blog

elliot-needs-sleep · 4 days

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tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

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elliot-needs-sleep · 7 days

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Yall if you wanna know what my life has been like the last little bit, what I did this morning pretty much sums up the last few months pretty nicely lmao

So it's 9am, I'm up and ready for work already, I have walked up and down the single flight of carpeted stairs (with no hand rails) that lead to my room at least 2 or three times now. This time however, I misstep. But I was at the perfect level that as I fell, I just hit the top of my head against where the ceiling for the stairs and the ceiling for the lower part of the rest of the house.

The worse alternative for this is I would've caught myself on the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs and smacked my face full force into floor

But yeah no I fell down my stairs and hit my head on the ceiling. I never thought I'd get to say this considering I'm 5"2. Also it's just an objectively bizarre sentence

#elliotsthoughts

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elliot-needs-sleep · 17 days

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Happy birthday to me I am now older

#elliotsthoughts

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elliot-needs-sleep · 18 days

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*sees my mutuals logged on at the same time* ugh WHAT a day. Thank god you’re here. *doesn’t interact with them in any shape or form*

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elliot-needs-sleep · 18 days

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xreader fic is so inherently healing like

do you love yourself? no? that's okay this character you love loves you back. are you kind? that is why they love you. are you patient? that is why they love you. are you a coward are you shy are you brave are you bold are you bratty? that is why they love you. you are loved and you will not be punished for seeking love. you are loved and you will find it here in these words.

do you love yourself yet? no? that's okay this character can love you until you do. this character will point out the few traits you can relate with yourself (your smile, your laugh, you brattiness, your whimsy, your strength, your sorrow) and tell you that they love that about you until one day you can love it, if not yourself, too.

do you love yourself yet? no? but you're starting to accept that you can be loved? that there is something in you- your awkwardness, your bashfulness, your straightforward mind, you ability to heal, your ability to fight- that someone could look at and learn to adore? well done. you're right, this character does see that and adore it. you may not love yourself just now, just yet, but now you see right? That there is something to love in you?

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elliot-needs-sleep · 18 days

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Guys someone be proud of me I have been brushing my teeth twice a day AND flossing for the last three days (because I really don't want to have dentures by 30 like my father)

#elliotsthoughts

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elliot-needs-sleep · 19 days

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I never thought that me working my second job at a hat store would lead to me and my two friends getting matching "women want me, fish fear me" hats

#elliotsthoughts

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elliot-needs-sleep · 21 days

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my blog is a safe space for me. the rest of you are in danger i think

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elliot-needs-sleep · 23 days

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THIS IS A RANT. THIS IS ABOUT HOW IVE BEEN STRUGGLING, BUT I WOULDN'T SAY ITS NECESSARILY DARK, ITS JUST ME SAYING FUCK YOU TO DEPRESSION

Anyone else have absolutely zero concept of time

Like... I used to be really good at guessing the time of day, and figuring out the date and day of the week and all that, but now that I don't have a proper schedule anymore time is absolutely meaningless unless it is the times I am working

I have been living out here now for 7 months, my birthday is in a week, and yet I still feel... out of place? Like I haven't settled yet, I guess

I could not tell you how I've spent the last 7 months other then I worked and I've been existing in a perpetual void of "I'm not sure if I'm depressed but I do not want to do anything and I'd rather hide in my room until the day I die then go out"

And I feel like 90% of that was mainly because I have never moved house before, and I never got taught how to be an adult, and I just left an abusive relationship and I had no clue who I was anymore (and I still don't really), and I've never actually lived with my dad before, I've never ACTUALLY been the oldest sibling in the house and I've never lived in a city and everything is still new and scary to me

And ya know what

I'm really sick of it. I'm really sick of feeling empty all the time. I'm really sick of waking up feeling exhausted, going about my day feeling exhausted, going to bed feeling exhausted, and repeating. I want to feel good again. I want to be happy. I want to get better again. I want to stop moping around and refusing to get better because that's what I HAVE been doing

I've been telling myself I deserve to feel horrible, I deserve to struggle, etc, etc, and now I'm here to say that's bullshit because I don't. I deserve to heal from what other people have done to me, for what I've done to myself. I don't always have to be strong, I can have off days. I'm the one who's carried myself through everything I've been through. I'm the one who picked up the pieces every time someone broke me. We're so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

So here's to healing. To getting better.

We can do it

#elliotsthoughts #rant post

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elliot-needs-sleep · 23 days

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