eliasbookshelf

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Elias' Bookshelf Thoughts No. 14: One Last Stop

I had a a great time reading RWRB, so I got this one by Casey as well, and it's also a queer novel which I'm always excited to find in my neck of the woods (someone once complained about Heartstopper and it was removed from the local Kinokuniya, and it was heartbreaking for me so it's always a delight to see queer books in the wild here).

The story started out quite slow for me that I had to put it down for a while. I understand it's to build up the story, and the connection between August and Jane. If it's rushed then it would feel too sudden and forced. It was nice, but slow. In addition, I didn't really like August's character, and I wasn't exactly rooting for her at the end. I did hope she'll help to resolve Jane's issue eventually, though, and even though I didn't care for her character, I did care for her relationship with Jane. The story moved along well-paced after, say, 1/4 to 1/3 into the story, and it just goes on from there, one revelation at a time. There's a lot of relationship markers and makers in the story too, like food, music, and skin touches that created the connection between then that felt genuine.

My favourite character, though, is Niko. I can't explain why. He's just so... mellow and calm, and in the story, which felt somewhat chaotic and loud, he's the quiet force which I love.

Overall I didn't get the science behind the story, whether it something that can actually happen, but it's fiction so I guess. The ending didn't make much sense, because Jane got displaced again, but she's free from whatever curse that she was under. If there's ever a sequel, I'd like to see something related to Chinese culture, since there was a lot of cultural elements already in this one.

Another thing I truly love, and got me to excited to power through the book, is the diversity displayed. We got a queer MC, a Chinese AND queer secondary MC, a trans character, more queer characters, and drag queens!! It's so fun to imagine a place like that (because reality here is just not it), and I'm thankful for this.

Stars: 3.5 Recommended: Yes

#books #book reviews #one last stop #Casey McQuiston #american #fiction #queer books

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Elias' Bookshelf Thoughts No. 13: The Bromance Book Club #1 & #2

The title caught my attention first, because it's just so damn catchy. And truth be told, when people talk about book readers, they rarely refer to men. Like, men don't read books or something. Like men who read books are such an abnormality, we're like unicorns. So yes, the title caught my eye because its reference to both men and books.

Flipped the book over, and the synopsis got me immediately. It was an easy decision to pick up the first book. No regrets; I loved it so much I got the second and third book. Didn't pick up the fourth one yet (and apparently there's a Christmas novella I can't find) so that would be a future buy.

** SPOILERS AHEAD **

So, the premise of the first book is simple. Gavin, a famous football player (and super hot, my imagination ran wild) is having a problem with his marriage to Thea. His friends, fellow (hot) football players came to help. Simple, but then it got interesting. The other guys gave him advise based on a romance novel the group is currently reading. (just imagine, super hot straight football guys, reading romance novels, ones which they could have been on the cover, which they consider life guides to understand women better. I guess in a fictional world, that's plausible. I personally never thought of those books that way, but now I'm super curious about them. I may just pick up one some time eheh). He didn't buy that at first, but eventually their marriage troubles were resolved. Thea (i think) gave them the nickname the Bromance Book Club.

That element, the bros reading romance, is definitely a novelty I really liked in this series. It's fresh and unique, I think, since I haven't come across a similar concept in the books I've read (either that or I haven't read that many books yet). I was instantly bought over by the concept, and throughout the book, Gavin too reads the book-within-the-book to get ideas on how to fix his marriage. Along the way, hilarity ensues with their attempt to hide the fact that the guys are reading such novels (or reading in general, I wasn't sure, but it definitely feeds to the stereotype that hot athletic men don't read. Although I don't know any hot athletic men to ask them if they read at all. I don't have many guy friends IRL *sad*) The story is a fun ride, and the few sex scenes are quite hot. Also, thanks to Thea for the really good description of Gavin's sexy body, we love that.

The novelty (heh) of the guys reading got me super interested in the rest of the books in the series, so I picked up book numbers 2 and 3. The second book is Undercover Bromance, and third is Crazy Stupid Bromance.

I've recently finished reading book 2, Undercover Bromance, so let's continue talking about that.

While book 1 focuses on the book club newbie, Gavin, this second book (and it seems the third book as well) shifts the focus on Braden Mack, the only single guy in the book club. A hotshot bar/restaurant owner who always knows how to charm the girls (also the way he's written, he sounds really hot, damn). The story's main plot shifts from the guys to a side character from book 1, Thea's sister Liv. She works at a restaurant, then got fired after uncovering a dirty little secret of the restaurant's owner, then goes on a mission to expose her former boss. Her mission eventually leads her to Mack. There's drama along the way, with Liv's efforts to fall into the trap of Braden Mack's charm.

This book also features the same running gag of the Russian guy, named Vlad (very ... stereotypical?? I don't personally know any Russian so I don't know if it's a super common name) having gastrointestinal problems, with a hilariously-written fart scene (not unexpected, but still hilarious).

The thing about book 2 is that it lacks that unique novelty that's heavily featured in book 1. There's little to no reference to the book, even with the first scene in the book featuring the guys going to a bookstore and Mack picking out a book titled The Protector (foreshadowing his relationship with Liv). The story then prods casually but steadily and switched between Liv and Mack's plotting, Liv's life struggles, Mack's internal conflicts, and both of them resisting each others' charms and not acknowledging the sexual energy forming between them (one they eventually but not surprisingly succumbed to, although I don't blame her. I feel his sexual energy radiating from the pages; either that or I have a very good imagination I never knew I had. Also, they kiss a lot of times though). There was some mention of the book Mack's reading, but we don't get the excerpt-style info like we did with Gavin and his reading of Courting the Countess. It's not a bad thing, but I was expecting something similar. It doesn't devalue the story, though, but that's probably because I was invested with the series and the guys already.

The plot moves along the similar lines as the first one but thematically different, so it's nothing unexpected or particularly surprising. A good read, nonetheless.

Stars: 3.5 Recommended: Yes, but you have to read the first one before going into this or some things don't make much sense without context from book 1.

#books #the bromance book club #lyssa kay adams #undercover bromance #american

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Elias' Bookshelf Thoughts No. 12: Tricks for a Heart

So I managed to finish a book before the year ends, and it's a good one.

I'm no stranger o queer romance; I've read enough to know what to expect. But this one, from an internet friend of mine, Izzat Zainal, takes that usual queer romance love story we see a lot in YA and put it in general fiction, or adult fiction, or just non-YA fiction. I'm not really sure how to put it.

Anyway.

MC is one Adam Iman, a plus-sized queer guy living in my/our conservative country. After a school reunion, a fellow high school friend (the jock we know as Luqman a.k.a. Minho) starts to flirt with him in a non-straight way. He finds this weird, since they've known each other in high school, and he gives off no gay vibes. Hence Adam felt this must be a prank of some sorts. Well, think again, my good man. Think again.

**SPOILERS**

I want to use the word 'fresh', but it does feel like a typical queer romance story. Boy likes boy, one boy wasn't sure but goes with it anyway, they fall in love but won't say it, then something bad happens, they break up and separate for a while, and eventually end up together in one big dramatic and romantic end sequence. What's not typical is the characters, the setting, and the vulnerability presented by the characters.

Adam is plus-sized, and think he's underserving of proper romantic love, especially after what his ex did to him. Personally, this is extremely relatable (for I am plus-size myself and feels unloved or unable to be romantically loved. the only difference is that I feel Adam would have put himself out there, whereas I didn't. anyway). This is something I don't see in the usual queer romance books set in the western world, especially when it falls under young adult. it's never about the plus size kid, its always about the charming ones, the slim fit ones, the ones who is cute but he doesn't know it. Adam is, indeed, a character I've been longing to read about, one who I can actually say "yes I am he" and I'm so happy to be able to have that, as well for others who feel the way I do.

As for Luqman, well, he's hot. He has hair, body, face, abs. The jock we all know, love, idolise, and ride all night long (with consent) given the chance. He's secretly gay, but you won't know it cos he appears super straight. sigh i know a Luqman once.

Anyway.

So when Luq starts to slowly get into Adam's life after a high school reunion, Adam is thinking, okay, this must be a prank or a trick (i personally don't really hear locals use the word 'trick' a lot, so the overuse of that word feels like a turnoff for me). Phone calls, a meetup, and a dinner later, we get a steamy, sexy scene in chapter 11 (got me hard hm; they get hot and steamy in another two later chapters as well. i enjoyed all three scenes).

Slowly but surely, they found themselves in a situationship they're both super comfortable in, but Adam's insecurities ruined his own happy moments (something Luq pointed out to him later. also, i am he). He also kinda obviously is in deep romance with Luq but I think his past scarred him and built up walls too high for him to say 'love'. Yet clearly, he's in love, and Luqman is too.

Some parts were predictable, like how Luq eventually found out about the video (if only Adam know of Saiful's jealousy earlier on, I bet he wouldn't have said anything. Then again, sometimes it's better to keep some things private). So as soon as he found out, the storm is back between them, and it took more than a year for them to reconcile.

There's also so many moments which pointed out how sincere Luq was when it comes to his romance with Adam, but I guess that insecurity just blinded Adam so badly, I felt sorry for Luq to be putting al, that effort but to get nothing back. At some point, Adam was the problem in his own fairy tale, and I don't know if he understood that by the end of the book.

Oh, the big proposal, the big finish. It's clever, and twisty!!! I didn't expect that to happen the way it did (I saw it coming because it's like the last 50 pages or so, and something HAS to happen because WE WANT IT TO HAPPEN). Eventually, I ended in a pool of emotions when the story ended with a kiss.

The setting is another important reason why I like this. In our country, at least for me who's not exactly out yet, it's difficult to have a proper relationship with the same gender. You can't do many things, you can't be holding hands in public, and so many more. So to have a queer love story set in a country where love stories like these are on the down low, it's nice. It's very nice. In terms of vulnerability of the characters, they feel human. Even the jock can get scared and isn't afraid to be, at least, in private. He definitely wears his heart on is sleeve, and honestly, that's is the sexiest thing a man can do.

I'd have to say this is a vast improvement from Inside Out, which I have read as well. While that one felt Twilight-inspired, this one felt like it was Heartstopper-inspired, if you read between the lines.

Stars: 4.5 Recommended: Yes

p/s if you're on twitter, follow him @ijjaaat

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Elias' Bookshelf Thoughts No. 11: Red, White and Royal Blue

I love this book, so much.

Me being a hopeless romantic makes reading this beautiful queer romantic comedy / dramedy novel by Casey McQuinston so much fun. It's everything I want, and what I didn't know I wanted, in a love story involving two head of states falling head over heels for each other. The story never felt forced, nor does the pace ever drops. The story flows smoothly, with a bit of drama here and there, but overall, there's rarely a dull moment. The characters were also written in a way that doesn't make them flawless, adding depth and humanise them a bit more.

** SPOILERS**

The story felt real enough, even if it's fiction. I'm not a head of state or anything, so that part I have no comment. However, even in this alternate universe where a woman became the President of the US, and the princess of the monarchy married a James Bond actor, the struggle of the LGBT community felt ever so real. Alex and Henry were pitched as rivals, or frenemies, but we can see from 200 pages away that they're going to be more than best friends. Still, being part of the influential head of states doesn't make it easier for them to be openly gay, and that truly reflects the eternal struggle of many real-life members of the community who aren't able to come out of the gay closet and be their true selves.

I love how romantic the story is. I love how Henry looks perfect from the outside but sullen and delicate inside. I love how passionate and caring Alex is when it comes to politics and also his family and loved ones, especially Henry and his mood swings. They felt real to me. I loved how some of their family members and friends didn't care about them being gay, but instead are happy for them. For many, that component is missing in their lives, and even as fictional characters, I am so very happy for how everything turned out at the end. I'd say the leak and exposure of their secret isn't something unexpected. It's bound to happen. I highly doubt no one didn't notice the prince of England randomly appearing in the US, or the First Son attending events in the UK, even if they're just friends working on improving international relations. It's awful and disheartening that they didn't get to tell it first, because it's their story, not anyone else's.

There's also a lot of details regarding mental health, the acceptance of queer people, the trauma of the death of a family member, keeping secrets, and the effort to upkeep image, which truly grounds the story.

In short, it's just super romantic, quite dramatic, and everything I want in a queer love story. This definitely makes my list of favourite books ever.

Stars: 5/5 Recommended: YES, if you're into saccharine queer love stories, enemies-to-lovers, emails, and old love letters.

p/s favourite scene: the secret late-night museum visit/date. it's just so romantic.

#queer lit #queer books #red white and royal blue #casey mcquiston #american

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Elias' Bookshelf Thoughts No. 10: Less

This book actually felt like a bit of a drag at first, but as it gets to the end, it got real profound.

Arthur Less (I felt like this was a play on the word 'author-less', as in 'anonymous', but it could be a reach) is a 49-year-old novelist who's trying to escape his boyfriend's wedding invite, by saying yes to other invitations to events around the world. Think 'Eat, Pray, Love', but featuring a gay book writer. Off he goes to New York, Mexico City, Italy, Germany, with a stop in Paris, Morocco, India, and Japan, along the way reminiscing his past up to his current point in life.

For a man who feels like his life is boring, he seem to have particular flashbacks to many past memories in almost every place he visited. He has flashbacks of his time travelling with his first ex, Robert. He has flashbacks of his adventures with Freddy, the son of his friend Carlos. He has so many misadventures as well as opportunities along the way from him hosting an interview (I think) in New York, to an award ceremony in Turin, a lecture in Berlin, a layover in Paris, a retreat in India, and food tasting in Japan. I'd say that's a pretty exciting way to celebrate life. The sad thing is, he said yes to all this to avoid the wedding of his ex, Freddy.

Initially, the book felt a bit like a drag. There's a lot of internal monologue coming from Less, which I take as his personality as being awkward and an introvert. He seems to have only written one bestselling and well-known novel, Kalipso. His second book was rejected. At every location he goes, his memory of past travels weaves in with current ongoings, so sometimes it's really easy to get lost in between time settings. One minute we're in modern days, and then the next, it's a flashback. Clearly, Less has many unresolved issues with Freddy, but he has made peace with Robert. So, because of this request throwback moments, the book feels a bit slow-paced.

Somewhere after Turin (he surprisingly won an award!) and Paris (where a 16-hour layover came with a short makeout session with a guy at a balcony), I finally understood what the book's about.

It's about heartbreak; about loves and losses; on how you view your life as a tragedy but others seeing it as quite a success. It's about chasing dreams but not reaching them. I didn't see it at first, but eventually, I did, and the book became a whole lot better. I just wished I caught on earlier. Something the actress in Morocco told him about love just got me real good. At that point, I truly loved the novel. Eventually, he returned to San Francisco, and Freddy's there waiting for him. It's sweet, although he went through all that to discover his purpose and a renewed sense of purpose only for Freddy to come back into his life. I didn't think he was over Freddy, but at least he would have accepted the fact that Freddy wasn't his happy ending, but I guess it wasn't a bad ending. Less found himself, found his voice, finished his novel, and loved himself (somewhat).

In short, this novel is ultimately about heartbreak, memories, and how a journey across the world does the soul some good.

Stars: 4/5 Recommended: Requires some patience, but ultimately worth it.

#books #american #less #andrew sean greer #lgbt books #queer books

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Elias' Bookshelf Reviews No. 9: The True Queen

So I decided to pick up this new book from local author Zen Cho. I'm familiar with her book Spirits Abroad, but I've never read it, so I don't know her style. I did know that a) this was fantasy, b) this has a queer character, and c) it's by a Malaysian author. Three reasons why I got a copy of this.

Let's just say now that I think fantasy like these may not be my type, or maybe fantasy in its entirety is just not for me.

## SPOILERS ##

The story has an intriguing plot summary: In a world that normalises magic, a girl, Muna, and her sister, Sakti, washed ashore on the island of Janda Baik. Cared by a local powerful sorceress, they believed that their cursed. To find out more, they made their way to magical England to speak to the Sorceress Royal. Along they way, Sakti went missing, and Muna made it her mission to recover her sister in any means possible. Meanwhile, another plot is in the works in magical England.

So the story has two intertwined plots. The first is about Muna and Sakti. They're cared for by Mak Genggang, the most powerful sorceress in Janda Baik, and apparently abroad as well. Thinking that they were cursed with memory loss, they used some spell to try to discover the cursemaker. Somehow they decided that the king of the land, who has a person writing magic spells a.k.a formula for him, would be able to resolve their issue. O-kay. When they got busted, Mak Genggang decided that they should run to England to speak to the Sorceress Royal (a.k.a. Prunella Waithe), the most powerful magical being in England. O-kay. So off they go through the jungle, somewhat a disguise for The Fairy Realm a.k.a. the land of souls, ghouls, and everything magic. It was here that for *some* reason, Sakti decided to open a vial, recite something, and poof went missing. At this point, I was ready to give up with this story because it's like a trope that kids are *always* the source of problems in stories, and this book uses that trope. Yet, I went on, as Muna reached England to speak to Prunella. This is where plot number two began, and plot number one faded into the background, and simply as motivation for Muna.

Plot two didn't start about a third or so into the book. At a party, a representative of the Fairy Queen appeared and accused England of stealing the queen's Virtu (sounds like virtue, which Prunella thought it was at first). Chaos ensues.

Meanwhile, Muna assimilates into the witching academy and becomes a student, who somehows only explicitly attends only one class and one class only. She didn't actually pay to be there or whatever, she was invited to join. So it's up to her I guess. At one point she met a dragon, Rollo. A second encounter triggered the continuation of the second plot. Muna, alongside Prunella's BFF, Henrietta a.k.a. Henny (a queer nickname, which should have been a hint that she's the queer character. also she mentions about marriage not just to a man. Her sexuality means nothing to the story, which is good, but honestly she doesn't have to be queer at all if it means nothing. I'm oddly upset at this, but whatever) was tasked to rescue Rollo's apparent boyfriend (another queer character, a dragon. A side character, too) in Fairy World. The plot thickens.

There, the story went from zero to sixty in 3.5 seconds, from a mediocre 'is anything going to happen at all' to 'there's so many things happening!'. Definitely a change of pace when Georgiana (full name Georgiana Without Ruth. I don't know why) took them both to the palace of the Fairy Queen, where Muna saw Sakti. The Queen mentioned of the return of the titular True Queen. Things happens, and then eventually Muna and Sakti was reunited. Somehow at this point, Muna figured that Sakti was the True Queen. I can't understand what lead her to that conclusion so quickly, but okay maybe she's smarter than I gave her credit for (she does get a bit stubborn). Then, Henny figured that they're BOTH the True Queen, one called Saktimuna. Heh. A battle ensued between the Queen and a rejoined Saktimuna, which was quite short and super-climactic. Then, peace in all the lands.

End.

I do feel that the two intertwining plot is interesting, but the story could be cut short by excluding a few scenes (which I don't see the point to, like Henny's body double), and maybe some inner monologues. The second plot only kicked in about a third of the book, and then the first plot makes an occasional appearance until the end of act two, where it meets at the plot twist. By then, everything feels a bit tiring, with Muna's frustrations, Prunella's drama, and whatever's going on in Fairy Land. I didn't like the unnecessary slow pacing of the book's first half, but the second half has good pacing. Yet, I don't know if I like this book, but definitely not re-reading it.

Stars: 3.5/5 Recommended: Maybe for fantasy fans.

#books #malaysia #fantasy #zen cho #magic #the true queen #witchcraft #witches #dragons

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Elias' Bookshelf Reviews No. 8: Captain Marvel (2014)

I was on a graphic novel binge, as well as waiting for my Hawkeye collection to be complete, when I got a copy of a Captain Marvel graphic novel. I think it was after the movie got released, so it's still exciting to see her (still is now, I got a Funko Pop of Carol). I wasn't sure if the film was based on any story line, but it probably is, as per most Marvel films and TV series.

Anyway, I thought that it would be a fun read, and maybe it's an origin story of Carol. It wasn't, but that's okay. Again, no regrets.

I thoroughly enjoyed this first volume of the new series by Kelly Sue DeConnick and illustrated by David Lopez. The story started off with Carol already having her powers, and then something happened that triggered the plot of the volume.

The art style is simple, clean, but also has energy. I love the vibe that the colours and art gives out, and I think is goes well with the plot. The colour palette chosen for the scenes on the planet tells of how terrible things are there. Meanwhile, Carol is given a pop of colour, which contrasts her role there and make her outstanding.

There's also a surprise in the form of the Guardians of the Galaxy! That's a nice inclusion of Star Lord and his crew; they're bound to meet in space anyway, so this meet-up felt organic and wasn't forced.

The story ended up nicely, but I didn't pick up the second volume in this series. I just might.

Stars: 4.5 Recommended: YES

#marvel #graphic novels #comic books #captain marvel #kelly sue deconnick #David Lopez

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Elias’ Bookshelf Review #7: ‘Hawkeye’ Series

* This review will have a substantial intro about me and comic books, and the actual review is a few paragraphs in. Sorry... * Here’s something: I’m not really into comic books or graphic novels, which is not very ‘guy’ of me i.e. i think men have higher tendencies to read graphic novels and comic books but not me, simply because i didn’t grow up with people who read comics nor are they affordable for my family income range back when I was younger. 

So when I grew up, the Marvel Cinematic Universe just began to grow. I was 19 when the MCU began, and only after that was I super into Marvel and its universe. Therefore, I never know the history or origin story of any Marvel character until it’s introduced in the MCU and I did some reading online. 

That said, I never knew much about Hawkeye besides Jeremy Renner’s portrayal (for the record, my fav MCU character is Captain America), so I never gave much thought about the character. It was only later that I found out that Hawkeye was supposed to be deaf. Okay. So, then, I found a few panels of this Hawkeye comic about him sleeping off because today sucks, and one where he goes ‘aww coffee no’. SO relatable. A big mood. This sparked my interest to dig up the book which has these panels. 

I finally found them, as part of the new Hawkeye series written by Matt Fraction and illustrated by David Aja. It took me a while to find these, because book stores in Kuching don’t really carry graphic novels, so I have to visit KL to find them, and even then, they’re not so cheap (it’s RM70 each!). It took me a while to collect the 4-volume collection: My Life as a Weapon, Little Hits, LA Woman, and Rio Bravo. I regret nothing. 

* SPOIELRS AHEAD*

The series by Fraction and illustrated by Aja, alongside artists and illustrators Annie Wu, Javier Pulido, Francesco Francavilla, Jesse Hamm, and Chris Eliopoulos throughout all 4 volumes, introduced me to a Hawkeye unlike the one in the MCU. Hawkeye a.k.a. Clint Barton in this series is, well, a normal guy who just happen to be a part of the Avengers. It was never explained *how* he ended up as part of the team, but I guess that wasn’t important. The series didn’t explore much on how and why he became a superhero, but it did tell how he became the Hawkeye today. The art style in Volumes 1 and 2 is as rugged as the man himself, bringing an edge to the story which I absolutely love. I know I’m reading a tough-guy story because the art style and illustration manages to show that, with slightly rough-out panel frames and simple colour palettes. I also like how the story’s written; it gives Clint a purpose to be a tough-guy Avenger, he’s a bit like a reluctant superhero, but soon realises he has to be the hero in his own story. Is he admirable? A bit. A role model? Questionable. Do I have a crush on him? Absolutely. Overall, I’m in love with this version of Hawkeye. 

Volume 3 LA Woman takes a turn, when the story shifted from Clint, to Kate Bishop. In this volume, the art style changes. From rugged and rough edges and lines in Volumes 1 and 2, we get crisp and smooth lines for Volume 3; we know this is Kate’s story and not Clint. In this, Kate moves to LA to find a new life, but unfortunately, she is watched by Madame Masque. Technically, she ran into trouble herself, thinking that she could help solve crimes for a living, ending up helping a queer couple to get an orchid plant for their wedding day. Noble, but not wise. Kate does feel privileged to able to do that as it felt like she had a good upbringing, unlike Clint. So maybe she doesn’t feel particularly useful, so she needs something to do in LA. Of course, she ended up in trouble she couldn’t get herself out of. Did she find her calling? I guess. The story only lasted 1 volume so we don’t get to see if she solves another case. She did return right as the climax of the story hits a high note in Volume 4. 

Volume 4 has the fastest pace of all the volumes, with Clint’s brother making an appearance. In this volume, the final showdown between Clint and the bad guys in tracksuits and the Clown brings a lot of energy into the pages. The story builds up a bit first, introducing Clint’s brother and telling a bit about the history between them. The real action begins somewhere in the middle of the book, where the villains begin to move into the apartment building and all hell breaks loose. The end of the series is quite a downer, with him ending up being deaf. It’s quite upsetting, really, like I know he’s deaf, but since he wasn’t in the beginning, I thought, oh maybe he’s not deaf yet in this one, and then boom he got shot in the ear and went deaf. It was shocking and upsetting for me, and I truly felt sorry for him, after all he has done to protect the people around him (RIP Grills a.k.a. Gil).

Overall, I love this series, and I can say I am totally a fan of graphic novels now. Although, I may or may not compare it to the experience of reading this one every time I’m reading something new. Regardless, I highly recommend this Hawkeye series. 

p/s sorry if my review sounds odd, I just don’t know how to understand graphic novel/comic book are correctly. 

Stars: 5 Recommended: Yes, for fans of graphic novels, comic books, Marvel, and the artists. 

#marvel #graphic novels #hawkeye #david aja #matt fraction

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Elias’ Book Review #6: Inferno of Silence

(This book is courtesy of Booktasters and Mr Tolu’ Akinyemi, in exchange of an honest review.)

This short story collection reminds me of another short story collection I read written by another Black author, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, which was The Thing Around Your Neck. I read that a few years ago, and to be quite honest, I can’t really remember the stories, but I do remember that it’s really good. So, upon learning that this is also a short story collection, I hoped for this to be as good. I can say that I was not disappointed. 

I felt that this collection of stories is really good. The title encapsulates the short stories in the book very well. The stories have an interwoven theme of issues and problems which are mostly unspoken, and most of the stories have different and unique themes. Mostly, I do think that these issues are unspoken, not only in the Black community, but also here in Asia. A lot of the issues discussed are quite relatable, and it feels inclusive to all. 

There are 7 stories in this collection, and each story is very well-written in portraying emotion, characters, and plot. Each story is as captivating as the previous, although the feel-good factor of the first two stories quickly dissipated by the third, and then just goes away altogether by the time the final story ends. Of course, I wasn’t expecting all to be of happy endings, but it’s nice to know that it’s not always a sad end to lives, although it’s part of reality that must be accepted. 

The book begins with the story of racism, experienced by a football player moving to Europe from his hometown. He didn't expect it to happen, but it does. He was then inspired by the Black Lives Matter movement and decided to fight back and stand his ground (coincidentally, I read this during the height of the movement and the protests, so it was an interesting real-time moment to read about). I love the ending, where he felt seen. That feels like such a deserving and satisfying win. 

The second story tells of belief, in supernatural intervention, in your loved one, and in yourself. The relationship between the lead character, Iyanu, and her mother is tense. While her mother believes that supernatural and spiritual intervention would make her daughter be more compliant to her expectations, her daughter would rather live her own life to be a sculptor.I feel for both her mother and Iyanu, because I’m like that with my family as well, but it’s nice and satisfying as well to know that she eventually followed her dreams. The story also discussed on gender roles in the family (this theme appears in other stories as well), with the father walking out on them, and then regrets it when it’s too late. 

At this point, I was expecting the other stories to have satisfactory endings as well. I was mistaken. 

The third story talks about depression and mental health, and how it is frowned upon in some parts of society. This hits home for me, as within my community, it’s not exactly discussed, although times are changing and more positive light is shed upon the issue. I do feel that this story is good, and talked more about how society perceives people with mental health issues. It didn’t feel like it had an ending, just somewhat of a closure, but that’s a good thing, since the conversation around this topic should keep going and never end. 

Stories four and seven share similar themes of broken marriages and loveless relationship, with a bit of gender roles thrown in. Story number 4 is about a relationship which starts off happy and good, but eventually falls into loveless and abusive territory. It’s not an uncommon issue these days, but, as the main title suggested, it’s unspoken. People don’t like to talk about when the husband gets emasculated in a marriage, but it happens. In this story, the husband-wife relationship gets tested, and eventually the wife becomes more domineering in the marriage. In story seven, the couple, with both having connections with higher people, eventually fell into disparity and the husband ended up giving his wife an ultimatum. Both stories explore the idea of power in a relationship, and how gender plays a part in it. Story four also mixed in the idea of toxic masculinity, whereby men are expected to act in a certain way, and be more dominant and not weak, as well as (what I think) a misconstrued idea of feminism (I think it’s not about women being the stronger gender, but it’s about how women is given more and equal opportunities to be heard, and it’s not just about hating men). I do feel that these two stories brought the most impact to the entire collection, with story four being the strongest out of the seven. Meanwhile, story seven felt incomplete, so I wasn't quite as satisfied with how the story ends without a proper ending. 

Story six is quite odd to be in this collection, but could be considered an unspoken issue. The story has the central conflict of a broken family, and an incestuous relationship. A man marries a new wife, who just happens to be an old flame of one of his sons. Some things happen, and then two people dies and one got sent to prison. I’m not really sure of what to make of this story, but perhaps it’s the ‘accidental’ incestuous bit which makes it relevant to be part of this collection. 

My least liked story of the collection would have to be story five. I wasn’t even sure what’s the unspoken issue about. Is it about family expectations, religion, or sexual experiences and relationships? I didn't get the message, and the plot twist didn’t help, either. It could be about relationships and its complexity, or maybe how karma will get you after all. That could be it, or it could be deeper that I can understand. A businessman, who hooks up with a girl he met in the lift, reflects back on his best relationship, and how many events along the way ruin it all. This all culminated with a plot twist I wasn’t expecting, and is definitely the biggest surprise (and shock) in this collection (aside from the deaths in story six). 

Overall, this collection is really good, and encourages better conversations on important social issues and ills. 

Stars: 3.5 Recommended: Yes. It speaks of important issues from different perspectives of people. 

#nigerian #inferno of silence #tolu' a akinyemi #review

[eliasbookshelf]

Elias’ Book Review #5: Thirteen Reasons Why

*This is a review I posted on my personal blog in 2017, with a different mindset then what i am at now. I’m reposting it here because I don’t need it to be there anymore and I’d rather it be here instead* So I finally got done with Thirteen Reasons Why, and it's the first book I've actually finished this year. I can see why it's controversial, but i find that it's in no way glorifying suicide. Hannah blames others in her life for her ultimate decision to kill herself. she mentioned how she did it, but not much on the reaction of others. We did find out how people reacted to the tapes she sent out, especially Clay's reaction. Going through the book, I was ready to be heartbroken, angry, and having conflicting reasons on why one would want to kill themselves. I can say with full confidence that I have had suicidal thought before, but not having any guts to actually do it. I also kinda feel bad for the people i'm leaving behind, and think they do not deserve the heartbreak. I am not even half the brave girl Hannah is (or was).

I say brave because it takes bravery to want to take your own life. She gave thirteen reasons why she wants to leave her life, and it involves a lot of things which happened to her. Events which she regretted, and wished she didn't play a part in. Betrayal of friends, and people who aren't friends. She also kind of blames her own insecurities, as well as her almost-relationships with others who she may or may not be in love with.

I've been there. The insecurities and regrets are the worst things about life. definitely pushed me, but not enough over the edge.

So, is this a good book? yeah, very much; it is well-written, well fleshed-out, and the plot is steady. i expected to feel sorry for hannah, that she has to take her own life in order to fix things. indeed, it was never her place to fix the problems of others. but i think the heavier message here is that it's best to be kind in situations where others are unkind. sure, she can't help in some events to just see and not do anything, but sometimes, i get why she's frustrated that she can't remedy situations she may have had a hand in occurring.

Hannah needs to know that she can't solve other people's problems. i feel that her reasons are more about the implications she felt she got caught in and couldn't escape, and sometimes it's when others play with her emotions. no one, neither man nor woman, want that.

perhaps she wants to instill guilt in some, while telling others what she really thinks about them in a not-so-subtle way. i'm not sure if the guilt trip thing is worth your life, Hannah.

so, Hannah, i understand you. i was you once, having suicidal thoughts. i still have them today, and that's why i was reluctant to read the story in the first place. but after reading it, i wouldn't blame Hannah for anything. the only thing i have to say about Hannah's decision is that i felt sorry that she feels responsible for a lot of things beyond her control. it's also wrong for her to think that by killing herself and exposing the dark secrets of others, some issues may be solved. i can feel that she has a kind heart, like her feelings for clay, but her heart was ruined by some other unkind souls.

Stars: 3 1/2

Recommended: Perhaps, but could be triggering. 

#books #reviews #american #jay asher

[eliasbookshelf]

Elias’ Book Review #4: Inside Out

I’ve been dedicating these past few years in book-reading to selecting more queer books. I can’t remember how, but I stumbled upon a local queer author, on Twitter. I just followed casually, until one day, he posted about a novel he previously wrote and published on Wattpad. He also self-published the book! So when the printed copy was available, I picked up a copy of the first book, Inside Out, and its sequel, Upside Down, to show my support towards a local author. 

This review is about Inside Out, the first book from Evan Francisco. A supernatural fantasy tale with romantic elements, the story tells of a half-human, half-werewolf Jordan Patterson, who, upon discovering his destined life partner is the one person he dislikes, goes on a journey of emotional self-discovery, while along the way facing challenges of high school, friends, werewolf battles, jealousy, and of course, enemies. 

***SPOILERS***

From the synopsis, when talking about half-mortals, half-immortal, my mind goes straight to the pop culture phenomenon that is Twilight. The author wasn’t exactly shy with his inspiration, either. Besides obvious references and allusions to that universe (werewolves, vampires, a novel written by Stephenie Meyer), other less obvious references would be noticeable to fans, like myself. The name of the beach where the wolf clan settled, their shapeshifting abilities, vampire referring to the wolves as ‘dogs’, the vampire council and their hooded cloaks, among others. Not that it’s a bad thing, of course. Everything is inspired from something else.  In terms of story, I like how the plot is always moving. There’s always something happening. From the discovery of Jordan’s mate, the eventual yes-no to being in a relationship. a werewolf battle, a sabotage, a jealous ex, a kidnapping, and other plot twists, the action keeps the story moving. The few low notes in the story is when Jordan goes on his own soliloquy, thinking out loud about his feelings. It’s very teenage emo stuff, which isn’t exactly surprising. Jordan is sixteen, after all, the same age as when the author started writing the story.  However, this inner thoughts that Jordan does drags the story a long at some points.  I find interesting about this world created by the author is that people are generally accepting of the queer community. The parents and school kids are totally cool about two guys dating. That’s just a really nice world that I would love to live in, where people are ok with me dating another guy.  Something else this story showed how it’s inspired by the other novel, is the main plot point. Like in Twilight, the wolves in Inside Out has an innate ability to form mate bonds with another person. In the other story, it’s called ‘imprinting’. Just like that, the ‘mate bond’ in this story is not explained in detail. It just happens. There is no explanation as to why Jordan’s mate is a male, who happens to be a guy he dislikes, Jace Andrews (the all-star popular jock who everyone is in love with). They’re just bonded (for life), and if the mate bond is not acknowledged, both of them can and will die. Rough. I got no explanation of this bond till the end of the novel. There’s a scene with Jordan’s mortal friend, Adam, who goes through a book about the immortals, and I thought that this would be a great spot to talk about this bond thing in detail. Saying ‘it just happens’ got me frustrated.   The excessive use of the word ‘mate’ also annoys me. It’s way overused by Jordan, who keeps describing Jace as his mate, every chance he can. The heavy use was really obvious at the beginning, but eventually it became less frequent, nonetheless reading and hearing the word would make me cringe from now on. Let’s talk about characters. I have a dislike about the main character, Jordan. He tries to convince himself that he’s in love with Jace throughout most of the book, but if he does, he thinks that makes him gay, and he wasn’t sure if he’s gay. That’s fine, maybe he’s pansexual or asexual. Jordan’s sexuality doesn’t play a big role in determining his likability, but it frustrates me that he goes back and forth with his feelings towards Jace. At some points when he’s either touching or kissing Jace, he says he’s in love with Jace, then goes back to questioning is all over again. It gets irritating after a while. Sure, it’s not easy when you’re bonded for life with your biggest bully, but both he and Jace didn’t settle it early on. Jace kept asking him what’s his problem, but he didn’t say anything. Did he forget he ever bullied Jordan? As much as I dislike Jordan, I stayed because of its queer romance and storyline, and sheer determination to finish this book. 

  Jace, on the other hand, is super determined to be the best boyfriend ever. Admirable, but what does annoy me about Jace is that he is *too* in love with Jordan, but he doesn’t say this. Other characters, like Dan, tells us about Jace’s over-loving feeling towards Jordan. There’s also reminders along the way about how much Jace is in love with Jordan, like we don’t already know.  It gets annoying over time, but really, Jace tries too hard. I guess he just didn’t want to die due to Jordan’s half-and-half romantic feelings toward him. Fortunately, he’s more tolerable than Jordan, but still flawed. Maybe, just maybe, if they were to settle it early on, Jordan wouldn’t be going back and forth about his feelings, and Jace won’t be so pushy about being together (there’s that dying thing, as well). The other supporting characters are also tolerable and more likable, so that’s a good thing.  One more thing about the plot that got me slightly weirded out, is the cave showdown between Theo, Parker, Jordan, and some other characters. Jordan said he was naked. Throughout the scene, there was no mention of clothes being given to him after Parker got upset with Theo, and then Jace and the gang came to save him. Jordan got involved a bit in the showdown, but he did that ... while being naked? Doesn’t he feel a bit ... exposed?? Are werewolves used to that??? He was worried about boners a few pages before.  Apparently, the sequel stays in the universe but leaves Jordan and Jace, and focuses on newcomer to the pack, Keith. After going through the first novel, I think I’d know what to expect in the second book. I just hope Keith is more bearable than Jordan. 

Stars: 3/5 Recommended: If you’re into queer relationships, werewolves, or if you’d like to support a self-published author. 

#books #review #malaysian #evan francisco #inside out

[eliasbookshelf]

Elias’ Book Review #3: The Raffle

** I received a copy of this book titled The Raffle by Randy Smith, from Booktasters and TheRaffle2027 on Twitter in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!  

So, the last dystopian novel I read was The Hunger Games, before the movie came out, and then The Host (by Stephenie Meyer). Since then, I rarely step into this genre, seeing as how there’s a lot of these theme are going around, especially in YA. I made an exception with The Raffle after reading the synopsis.

The title is simple, but the entire story is far from it. So we're in an alternate future, and the main character, Ramsey is in the running to win The Raffle, a competition which gives the winner a chance to enter a new version of the United States. He won, and then things get extremely complicated. ** SPOILERS **

I felt that the entire story is good, and the pace rarely slows down. There's always something happening, or that something somewhere caught Ramsey's eyes that triggered a distant memory. It's interesting that Ramsey's flashback adds depth and some origin to many elements in the story, but I do find myself skipping a lot of his stories of the past as the story progresses. The beginning is fine, when he began to write the letter to his wife and daughter (ex wife, apparently?). We need to know where he's coming from, what's at stake, and why winning the raffle is so important (basically, exposition). As the story moves on to the other parts, it felt like his reminisces are simply that, a flashback to his better days with happier memories, but doesn't feel that much essential to the story anymore. Side note, I was pleasantly surprised that Ramsey is Middle Eastern, although I can't help but fancast Oscar Isaac in the lead role (who is Guatemalan) . The story reminds me of the characters in the film Ex Machina a bit, with a different setting. I love seeing more POCs in novels in the 'dystopian future' genre. The plot is intense, dramatic, and the flow is consistent throughout the entire story. It's also interesting how other more controversial elements are brought in, like religious fundamentalism and extremism, artificial intelligence, annihilation, and racial tension. The addition of these elements made the story more dynamic and interesting, but it can be a bit triggering for some. To be honest, a lot of the allusion to religion was lost on me at first, but then eventually it all made sense. The characters are also believable and the author wrote them in a way that made us care for them. I do want Ramsey to meet his wife and daughter. I want Sarah to survive. More importantly, the author made the NUS government untrustworthy. This mirrors some countries' government these days, whether that is intentional or not. The many plot twists in the story are also the good points about the novel, some expected, some not. I did expect Stephen to return and Noah eventually snapped (I had my suspicions from the moment we meet him) but I didn't expect the NUS' government plan for using the NHC as permanent life form. Overall, a good read, a lot of attention to detail, plenty of drama and intense moments, and good world-building. A recommended read. Stars: 4/5 Recommended: Yes, if you like dystopian novels, or the elements mentioned above are of your taste (or if you enjoy Oscar Isaac say ‘fuck’ a lot)

#books #review #the raffle #american #randy smith

[eliasbookshelf]

Elias’ Book Review #2: The Art of Racing in the Rain

So, I have to admit that as much as I vowed to just stick to local authors this year, I caved and read The Art of Racing In The Rain, mainly because I heard of the film adaptation happening (it was out in the cinemas a few weeks ago but I didn’t have time for movies lately and I missed it). I managed to read the book before the movie came out, so I wasn’t spoiled by the movie.  I actually got this book a while ago, at a second-hand book sale. The simple plot intrigued me, especially its viewpoint: a story of a race car driver and his family, told from the point-of-view of the family dog. It’s like how War Horse was told from the POV of the titular horse. It’s not entirely new, it I have a soft spot for dogs. 

**POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD**

In the first chapter, you know the dog’s gonna die. At the point of jumping to this (eventual) conclusion, I stopped reading and left this for about a year (Yes, I picked up this book last year, but left it for the stated reason). The film adaptation made me pick this up again. Now that I’m OK with knowing the conclusion, I felt like I could finish the book eventually. 

Now, being more of a cat person but still love dogs, it wasn’t hard seeing it all from Enzo’s POV (a very cute name. I’m going to name my dog Enzo, if and when a new dog presents himself to my life). I felt that Garth Stein manages to capture Enzo’s view very well. I felt like I was Enzo, seeing everything from the knee-up eye level, looking up at humans and analysing their behaviour. The other characters are pretty basic: the main male character, his wife (who eventually became sick and triggered the emotional side of the entire plot), hs daughter (a side character which is occasionally important), his in-laws, his friends, co-workers, and the man who changed his life. 

For me, the plot is fine. It’s expected to be exciting, given in the beginning, it’s well-established that the lead is a car racer and the dog is a fellow enthusiast. So I enjoyed the introduction of the mostly-real racing world, with real-life racer references. However, at some points, the plot can get a bit slow and boring, like how Enzo ponders on some things around him. Still, I think that as much as event like this can get a bit dry, it does help us understand how Enzo sees things, and we become him for a few pages. The best bits are when he imagines the scenario and life event he wasn’t part of, like the court cases. At this point, he becomes quite the unreliable narrator, but Enzo watches Law and Order, he knows what’s up. Now, imagine a dog, being up in the stands, giving his testimony, not in barks, but actual words. Too cute, I say. 

Overall, I think it’s a a really good, well-written book. The author captures the feel, the life, and the emotions of Enzo really well, as well as translating what Enzo feels about his humans into emotions we understand and can relate to. The book really gave me feels, especially knowing that my conclusion was right. It was just really sad that he didn’t make the move to Italy. Enzo would have loved it there.   Stars: 4 Recommended: Yes, if you like dogs.

#the art of racing in the rain #books #review #american

[eliasbookshelf]

Elias’ Book Review #1: The Weight of Our Sky

In an attempt to be more diverse in my reading, I’ve dedicated this year, 2019, to reading more books written by local Malaysian writers or, at the least, Asian writers. 

So my first local author read this year was a debut novel by a new novelist, Hanna Alkaf, The Weight of Our Sky. Being Malaysian, I was ecstatic to see another local author having their book published internationally (along with Zen Cho, Felicia Yap, Tan Twan Eng, and Yangsze Choo, among others). I found out about the book on Twitter, and got a copy of it as soon as I found it at the bookstore. 

**SPOILERS**

The book starts with an author’s note, introducing the story, and potentially triggering factors for readers. I find that interesting; not every author would put a disclaimer in the very beginning talking about triggers. There’s OCD and racism, among others. I don’t really understand OCD (because society overuse it out-of-context) but racism is something very current in the local society. It’s also interesting, that racism is still somewhat an issue now as it was in 1969 (the story’s setting), but it’s very much less violent now than it is then. 

We get to the main character, Melati, who has visions of her mother dying due to images triggered by a djinn in her head. She also counts to calm herself down. This is interesting; is this how a person with OCD thinks and feels? Like, a constant flash of imagery in the mind of things which didn’t even happen but simply a running thought triggered by somebody or something? Because I have to be honest, I find myself having the same thought patterns some times.  Do I have OCD? Maybe??? IDK. 

Then we meet her friend, Saf. Oh, Saf. She’s so adorable, like Mel’s personal portable sunshine. She sounds like a very cool friend. They decided to watch a movie, when all hell breaks loose (which actually happened! OMG!)

At this point, the story picked up, and it very rarely drops in terms of action and motion. The story moves so much, with so many things happening, that it’s all very tiring to read but also very exciting, and also triggered my anxiety a bit. So many nail-biting sequences, many close calls, and a few shocking moments here and there along the plot. 

We get to know a few other endearing characters, like Aunty Bee (my heart goes out to her), Uncle Chong (he’s very dad), Vince (who is a total hero, and won my heart), Frankie (a rebel heart but has a true heart still), and Jay (a minor character, but plays a significant role).  Dynamic characters who are not there just to move the plot, but to have a role is how things play out. I love the interaction between Vince and Mel, I thought it was cute. I was certain they had a crush on each other. The scene where they listen to records in Vince’s room is quite a memorable scene. 

I think that was perhaps only the few light points in the story. There’s also a funny scene when they try to get a man pass through security. Most of the story is quite intense. Riots, hospitals, curses, yelling. The curses and name-callings were definitely triggers, I would say. I did unconsciously flinched once or twice when some words were thrown around.  There’s also one part when Mel was shamed in public by Saf’s father, which broke my heart; I was definitely taken aback by that. 

Although, at some points in the story, I did get annoyed by Mel’s incessant need to count to appease the djinn in her head, but at the same time I feel bad for her for going through that. It must be so hard back then to live like that, without any resources to turn to, to know what is going on in your head.  

As the story draws to a close, Mel’s mission met a satisfying end. I was getting anxious that she may never end her quest to find her mother, but she did. Naturally, I cried too. Even after than sweet moment, the story didn’t let go of its intensity in one final hurdle to end the book. Just, wow.  

Then comes the epilogue. So here’s the thing: I know what the epilogue would be, but it still shook me that after the first line, I left the book for about a week before I finished the last four pages. Again, it was expected, but I was not ready for it. Why? I don’t know. 

In short, I love this book. The real-life incident? No. But the writing, the main characters, the emotion, the intensity? All very good. Definitely one of the most memorable reads ever, and in my top 10 list of favourite books ever. 

Stars: 4 1/2 Recommended: YES, highly. 

#malaysia #malaysian authors #books #hanna alkaf #review #the weight of our sky