duessperare

[duessperare]

like this post for a starter, if you'd like??

#ooc #i am thinking about them......... the Girls....................... <333

[duessperare]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ?

the wild rose fairy

dainty and dignified, you're someone who sees the beauty and kindness in the smallest of things. you're often too modest for your own good: you're more beloved than you know. don't be afraid of letting others down, their expectations are not your responsibility and you were not made to please everyone.

tagged by: @clarafell ( thank you so much!! <3 ) tagging: everyone who wants to do it!

#( memes. ) #!!! this fits SO WELL.............. i love ;ww;

[duessperare]

”You don’t have to struggle anymore. I’m here. Can’t you see?” from demon homuhomu

"Homura-chan..."

Madoka's voice is teary and frail, as if she's about to break into a fit of sobs. She feels so small. And she hates that she feels that way about Homura, the girl who did so much for her sake... even now, the memories of those times are hazy and distant - she tries to grab onto them desperately; but she's sure that they'll soon disappear again.

But it hurts. She can't stop it hurting. And she thinks what hurts the most is that Homura doesn't trust her, not really. What does she fear would happen if Madoka remembered fully who she's supposed to be? Does she think that she won't listen to her, that she won't understand - because she can't, she's too weak and naive for that? She doesn't remember what it was, but Madoka remembers making a decision, one that she made by her very self for the first time, but now, she's not allowed to do a thing.

Maybe she made a mistake? Maybe it's one that Homura's desperately trying to fix - Madoka understands that, really, she does. But she just wishes... that she would've talked with her first. Because Madoka wants to believe that she would've listened. She doesn't want Homura to suffer, doesn't want her to believe that everything is her fault! But in the end...

The weak, ignorant Madoka is all that she'll ever be. To Homura, it seems like that's enough.

"I know." Maybe it's time for a different approach. For a moment, Madoka stills, even if she continues to tremble.

"I'm not scared of you." ( a lie. ) "So... so Homura, please... can't we talk about this...?"

#ic #shibemuses #v. post rebellion. #NOT ME FINALLY GETTING TO THIS AFTER FIVE MONTHS................. #no but aaaaaaaaaaaa i suddenly had a burst of inspiration for post-rebellion madoka and then remembered i had this ask and!! #this was so fun to write so tysm for sending it in! <333 #madoka and the concept of agency is so fascinating to me i could talk about it forever... #i understand homura so so bad but i also feel so awful for madoka as well. it genuinely drives me crazy i just want them to be happy ;~; #anyway feel free to continue this if you'd like; but no pressure!

[duessperare]

AFTER THREE MONTHS... GUESS WHO'S BACK... ;w;

okay but actually i don't know how long my muse will last for, but!! i'm gonna try and get replies and such done while I have it. I keep changing my mind on how I interpret the series and characters, including Madoka, which I think is playing a part in my lack of activity - there's a lot I still haven't made my mind up on yet, so you might see me changing perspectives on things a lot from what I've said here in the past lol. but we'll see!!

i still love madoka and want to write here even if this is a low activity blog, so like... hello. hope you're all having a great 2024 c:

#( self reblog. ) #!!!

[duessperare]

i'm the melon, don't you see?

when you slice open the melon, it will bring you sweet dreams

#art. #madoka. #gore // #(sort of) #this is so good actually......

[duessperare]

WAIT SHOULD I PICK UP HITOMI.

#ooc #i am thinking. i am thinking. #i don't remember any of her canon interactions mind you so i am going purely based on vibes here but like #i'm interested in her???????????? as a non-magical girl who's kind of locked out of the knowledge of everything going on... #i can empathise with that a lot somehow #idk. what are your thoughts on hitomi? is she interesting?? does she suck????? go wild

[duessperare]

AFTER THREE MONTHS... GUESS WHO'S BACK... ;w;

okay but actually i don't know how long my muse will last for, but!! i'm gonna try and get replies and such done while I have it. I keep changing my mind on how I interpret the series and characters, including Madoka, which I think is playing a part in my lack of activity - there's a lot I still haven't made my mind up on yet, so you might see me changing perspectives on things a lot from what I've said here in the past lol. but we'll see!!

i still love madoka and want to write here even if this is a low activity blog, so like... hello. hope you're all having a great 2024 c:

#ooc #madoka my beloved etc etc <33333

[duessperare]

thinking about mikey tokyorev and madoka again. god.

#ooc. #it's all about. the lack of agency in their own lives. #eternal victimhood and having their choices taken away from them.............. i'm so emo................. #it makes me want to go back and re-analyze the tokyo revengers ending in a new light tbh but i'll put that on my tokyorev blog #rather than this one. lol #thinking about agency and madoka a lot atm. i love how you can argue that homura took away madoka's agency in the series #but can also ask ''should a 14 year old have the agency to essentially commit suicide in the first place??'' not to mention she ASKED homu #to save her #and yet... while it's similar in some ways; madoka's ascension to godhood is a much more complicated situation than just a suicide. #isn't it still her decision to choose to save everyone if she wishes?? etc etc #it's just very complicated and i can understand both of their perspectives 100% #i keep going back and forth on it like a yo-yo. help me. #suicide tw //

[duessperare]

also i am craving interactions with kyouko right now. i need.

#ooc #she good................

[duessperare]

some more headcanons for this blog, some of which are old but i'm re-iterating since it's been a while:

madoka came up with the idea of her wish because she wanted to save all magical girls. but in the end, the reason she actually went through with it was to save homura, who was stuck in an endless cycle and headed towards becoming a witch. that's what gave her the courage to make the decision in that moment, though she might not fully realize it herself.

homura and madoka were always sacrificing themselves for each other. homura was the first to voice her frustrations with madoka's constant self-sacrifice, and how it hurt her, but madoka was the first to realize that homura was the same. homura's self-sacrifice hurt madoka too, and homura never considered the fact that that's what brought madoka the most pain.

as a result, after the events of rebellion, madoka was the first to decide that she was going to find a solution where neither of them had to suffer. she wouldn't accept any kind of sacrifice. she still wanted magical girls to be saved - despite knowing that that was her own selfish desire, just as much to ease her own pain as to ease theirs. but she stubbornly believed that there had to be a way for everyone to be happy.

mind you i don't know what solution that would be yet. if anyone has any ideas pls share, lol, i am desperate,

#ooc #these girls need their happy ending!! #i really vibe with the idea that in some ways; madoka can be seen as more selfish than homura. #she wants to save everyone despite knowing it'll hurt homura and potentially her friends and family #because she PERSONALLY wouldn't be able to stand the pain of not saving them. #...i know that concept kind of contradicts my first headcanon here but i'm working on it afsjdfsjdhk #maybe ''saving homura'' was the excuse she used to fulfill her own desire of being a saviour? #both of them are selfish if you look at it in one way. and selfless if you look at it in another. #but i like the idea of madoka being the first one to become aware of this and overcoming that flaw they both share #by deciding to find another way... #which in some ways is still her own selfishness at play - stubbornly trying to find a solution she knows might not exist because it's what #SHE wants. #maybe she decides that if she looks for years and finds no solution that will save everyone; she'll choose homura in the end? #hmm... #anyway i change my mind on headcanons for this particular series like all the time so i might do a 180 on these. we'll see #pls someone plot with me i am desperate......... ;w;

[duessperare]

like for madoka starter???

#ooc #starter call. #i am SO sad about her always but i want to write my girl!! #it might take me a while to get to these but i'm gonna try my best so. ty <3

[duessperare]

"Homura-chan..."

For the first time, Madoka's smile falters. And for the first time, she regrets. She always though that her sacrifice, her wish, was the only way to save everyone. But in the end, didn't she just bring Homura an unimaginable amount of pain? What has she managed to accomplish at all? Maybe she shouldn't have made that wish. Even if that meant that everyone's hope would die.

...But if she hadn't, wouldn't Homura have become a witch?

She's horrified by her own thoughts, but quickly smiles again, even if it's a smile stained by sadness. There's nothing they can do now. ...It's too late...

"One day, you'll be with me again. I just know it." Whether they're a lie or the truth, she hopes those words can comfort Homura a little. Madoka had been cruel, when she had asked Homura to kill her back then. And maybe she's being cruel now, to deny Homura her wish.

"So keep living for now, okay? I know it's painful. I'm sorry. You just need to hold on a little longer."

Everyone who had ever suffered under the Incubator's cruel system got a chance at Heaven with Madoka. Not too long ago, Miki Sayaka had been taken away by the Law of Cycles, leaving behind the grieving Tomoe Mami and Sakura Kyoko...

Homura could feel the wisp of her own hair, the red ribbon trailing through the city night wind. The sensation, paired with the soft warmth of Madoka's ominscent hand, pushed past any walls that the once-time traveler had put up around her wounded heart.

"I wish I could come with you." The girl finally admitted, sniffling. "I wish sometimes I had held your hand then, not woken up back down here."

It was cruel, asking such a gentle soul to kill. Homura couldn't bear the idea of begging Madoka to break her Soul Gem, not in the same way the rose-haired girl had begged many years ago now.

#ic #shibemuses #v. madokami; tag tbd. #i am devastated. i am inconsolable. i am utterly destroyed. #genuinely want a happy ending for them so bad aaaaaaaaaaaa #i'm so sorry this is ridiculously late but!! thank you for your patience. #now back to crying for the next two hours ;~~; #suicide tw //

[duessperare]

okay i'm back for real this time. it's time.

#ooc #sometimes i project so hard onto madoka that thinking about the series becomes genuinely uncomfortable and i stop #afkjhdfhdskjf BUT I WANT TO OVERCOME THAT FEELING................ #so i'll be working on headcanons and replies soon i hope; we;ll see!

[duessperare]

When she was a deity, Madoka saw all possible pasts, presents and futures of every living being. It's something that no human could possibly comprehend, but what struck her the most is how easily it is for one person to be good or bad, depending on their circumstances. The tiniest of changes in a timeline could change a person's nature completely.

As a result, Madoka came to see people in a different way to how most do. To her, everyone, good or bad, is deserving of hope - there are no exceptions, and she wants to provide rest in the end to every magical girl, even those who have committed the worst kind of atrocities. Even if they have to suffer though the pain that comes with living, and the consequences of their actions, her belief is that the hope she brings is for all people without exception. Good and bad don't really matter to her anymore, though she still hates to see people suffer - but as a god, her priority isn't preventing suffering or evil but giving people a reason to hold on, and to be at peace in the end - as the embodiment of hope; with everything that means.

#ooc #headcanons. #HELLOOOOOOO i'm back! and i want to write here again c: #no promises since idk if this muse will last; but #take this post as an apology for my absence. akfdjjsshkj

[duessperare]

INDEPENDENT MADOKA KANAME from puella magi madoka magica, written by meri. 

if you’re interested in interacting, please consider giving this post a like and or reblog, and thank you so much!

#pmmm rp #madoka magica rp #magical girl rp #anime rp #manga rp #video game rp #not sure how else to tag this but!! here's to getting my girl out there! ;www;

[duessperare]

lately i’ve been wanting to write a really self-indulgent, kind of canon-divergent madoka... like a madoka who still loves people and wants to help them, but deep down wants to be told that it’s okay to live without sacrificing yourself for others. who wants to be a little selfish. a madoka who feels she’s not good enough because she doesn’t want to lay down her life for other people - she wants to save them, but she wants to save herself too.

but she feels so useless and like she’s not doing a thing for anyone, and she wants everyone to be happy, so it’s fine, right? she’ll just have to give up her happiness. but while she could do that before so easily, now all of a sudden she can’t bring herself to give up what she has. does that make her selfish? does that make her awful?

or is she allowed, for once, to just live?

#ooc #IN OTHER WORDS HELLO I'M BACK AND I WANNA WRITE MY GIRLLLLLLLLL <3 #i've been really depressed atm so i likely still won't be too active but. i'm gonna try. #idk if this particular portrayal of madoka would be at all ic but i think i can make it work... maybe post-rebellion; hmm #idk........... anyway madoka my beloved <3333 #i hope you're all been doing well! ;w;

[duessperare]

magical girl God and her girlfriend

#art. #madoka. #homura. #aaaaaaa i love them!! and this artstyle is so cute i'm ;w;