thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.
April 28, 2024 - An unintentionally funny video by a zionist propagandist shows off some good organisation and discipline at the UCLA encampment for Palestine.
Height gap romance except the shorter one is frequently depicted in situations where they are contextually taller. The taller one sitting while the shorter one looms over them. Both of them lying in bed with the taller one’s head pressed to the shorter one’s chest. The shorter one straddling the taller one’s lap and leaning down for a kiss. The taller one on their knees as the shorter one tilts their head up. Please, it makes me go feral
I think Shadowbringers is a great example of how knowing or guessing the "reveal" doesn't hurt a good story, and writers who understand that will write more confidently and tell better stories. That the Exarch is G'raha Tia is not hard to figure out. He has a distinctive lip shape, he has the same voice, he's the guy who was in the Crystal Tower! He's not even a very good liar at the end of the day. And none of that makes his arc as the Exarch any less powerful, imo. I don't think trying harder to obscure the Exarch's identity would make Shadowbringers a better story. Because the emotional core of his arc isn't in shock value. It's in the unfolding story of G'raha's journey, how he came to be here, why he is hiding his identity, why he pretends not to know you or who G'raha Tia is. It's in the culmination of a hundred years of planning and secrecy and loneliness, in how he's willing to die to save two worlds and you, in why it all goes wrong at the last minute, in how hard he tries to play the villain so you'll let him go, and in how unconvincing he is in that role. It's in the choices he makes when he realizes he doesn't have to die. It's in everything he chooses to be. He has a good story, and a good story doesn't lose its power when you know all or part of the ending, because a good story is about the journey.