diasporicvibes

[diasporicvibes]

attractive women

i love bad bitches

something about a woman who can fend for herself in any situation. like if some knuckle dragging trailer trash white bitch starts ranting about immigrants @ mcdonalds, she wont have trouble putting the bitch in her place after picking up her junior chicken with cheese

such an awesome trait. nowadays you cant afford to be a miskeen walking around the city. too many uneducated people mad at the world, looking for someone to take their anger out on.

i saw a quote recently that said “women want a man who is in control, but not a man who is controlling”. (reblogged by yasmin mogahed, not my statement) 

which made me think: controlling is the action verb of control, in this case it means the power resides entirely in the man’s control. no inputs can be made from other parties (in this case the woman), what’s the point of looking for a soul mate if you end up trying to dictate their personality? and vice-versa, 

being in ‘control’ doesn’t mean the last word goes to the male. understand that your perspective isnt the beginning or the end, you’ve got a special person by your side (who’s most likely smarter than you), and it makes zero sense to try and dictate their behavior. 

#women #marriage #islam #mcdonalds #balance #writing #mini rant #rant

[diasporicvibes]

no one messes with maintenance

[diasporicvibes]

im not sure what to expect from life. is my entire existence based on a credential that people will forget about?

why do i find validation in credentials? i partially know what my passions are, im just missing the ‘drive’ part. i had it as a child but i dont know where it went.

polynomials outside of my locker for hours, now i can barely get up for class. i dont know what to do.

islam is perfect, but sometimes I wonder what the point is of putting someone on earth who just transgresses. theyve got an addiction they cant solve on their own, they’re too shy to approach others, and theyre trying to maintain an image in front of society.

i wish i knew why i was like this. if i could voluntarily remove myself from this race, I would. i dont think i can win this, and im putting the others around me through hell. can one knowingly cause fitnahs for those around them? 

i dont want to be here. i dont know why im here. im ungrateful. im broken. im everything ive never wanted to be.

[diasporicvibes]

Retrospection

expectations of a trip back home

1. not a syllable of english will be spoken. this is the time to perfect my mother tongue

2. abolish all negative habits and get closer to Allah through an establishment of prayer and good character

3. only social media device allowed will be a DSLR camera, all uploads will happen at the end of the journey. 

4. will socialize with 1 random person and (attempt to) become friends

5. will perfect the art of shukansi (for future purposes)

6. keep an eye out for potential business ventures

7. take a census of those around me (at the time) and compile what constitutes a “man”.

8. ??? (to be continued)

9. film a youtube video

#somalia #somali #diaspora #retrospection #motherland

[diasporicvibes]

Classic

Starring: Bentley Continental R

By Gary Walton

[diasporicvibes]

phrases

what makes a person continue to flourish in their ignorance? ive always thought that humans have a natural inclination towards change, but ive been the same person for as long as i can remember.

i lost my chance, she thinks im a repressed weirdo, and i might be. ive never met someone so honest with themselves. 

at the time, it felt like we both opened up to one another. in hindsight, i spilled my guts and feelings onto the canvas...and she watched. and watched. and watched.

do i regret being honest? of course i do. no ones interested in a broken contraption. 

was she broken herself? i cant confirm that, but one thing is for certain: she was perfect in my eyes.

[diasporicvibes]

words

its been roughly 6 years since my breakdown. has anything changed? i cant answer that wholeheartedly. is abstaining from the truth considered lying? if so, my ticket to jahanam has been sealed. 

i’ve always wondered: does one gain dhambi from lying to themselves? or even avoiding the truth regarding their personal lives?

to be quite honest, the person i was 5 years ago still exists today. taking time to peel back layers of pain and insolence is harrowing, seeing that 6 years has passed and no progress was made. you cant explain these things to people. they dont register the emotions you (attempt) to convey. a frown and a quick dismissal are your rewards for confiding in them.

intuitively, ive always known to ask myself ‘when will i change’ rather than ‘will i change’. it makes me think that in addition to a spiritual ‘fitrah’, humans also have an inherent sense of optimism.

am i useless? i’d like to think so. by being useless, i dont need to live up to the expectations placed on me. but consequently, i wont ever live up to my potential.

i know ive got potential, but something happened along the way and now im stuck with addictive trauma and self-loathing

allahu alam

#rambling #somali #vibes #writing #self loathing #selena gomez #retrospection