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diary-catalog-blog · 6 years

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Apr 13, 2015 | Entry 5

I know its been a long time, but I just didnt feel like writing. But I gotta write something first.

Way back on April fools, Monaghan came to town. So we were at Annies just chillin’, when Monaghan was all like, “So whats up?” And I jokeingly said “I have a boyfriend.” She totally freaked out. But seconds later I said I was joking.

Later, when Reed came back and we were playing apples to apples Monaghan leaned into Reed and said “Hey guess what, Sarah has a boyfriend!” And all he said was ‘cool.’ And looked at his cards. He didnt even look at me or seemed shocked! Like WTF man!

I was literally speachless. All I could say was “A-april foooools” really quietly. I NEVER know how to act around him. Its so weird. Maybe its b/c hes always gone when they’re in town.

But for the rest of the game I couldnt help thinking “He thinks I have a boyfriend, right now im a girl w/ a b.f. He sees me as a girl with a boyfriend”

Today I just read this manga and it was so amazing. Even though it was only 3 chapters. I’m definetly gonna tell my friends about it tomorrow. Refering to it as a book ofcorse. Its called “Akujo Seisho” thinking about putting it on my best things list.

#diary #diary entry #journal #Journal Entry #2015

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diary-catalog-blog · 6 years

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Mar 24, 2015 | Entry 4

Kylie & me are talking again, I guess. But what a coincidence that the day we start talking again she gets yet another boyfriend!

They (her and cole) made it official yesterday. Which is also the first time I’ve seen him. hes a totall theatrical nerd. and not the good kind.

Hes that kind of person thats weirdly over he top and annoying. I cant wwait to see how long this one will last. *Started on Mar 23.*

Anyway, this pen reminds me of green jello. May be the last time I use it.

I’ve been having dreams every night now. I’ll have one even if I just sleep for 1 hour. And when I wake up, I can barly remember them. I’ll be lucky if I can even remember whose in them.

MY ___ BOOK COMES ON MARCH 31ST I’m so excited I can’t wait!!! I’ve put off playing until then so when the book comes, I’ll have alot of points!

I also hope to babysit Shannon sometime this week. With that money I’ll be able to get the sims!!! I’ll also prob. make hailey pay AT LEAST 20$.

The other night I looked for pictures of what my ___ girls would look like so I could recreate them in the game.

And with my leftover money, I hope to buy some stuff off Etsy. I cant wait to get paid!!!

#diary #journal #diary entry #journal entry #2015 #I said i wouldnt censor anything but #if i wrote it down it would appear in a very popular fandom tag and #cant have that happenin

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diary-catalog-blog · 6 years

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Mar 18, 2015 | Entry 3

I hate mom. I Hate Kylie. I HATE HAILEY!! Why is she so mean to me all the time. Does it mean anything to her that I told her that shes my old friend!!?!

I HATE HATE HATE HER!!!

I dont ever want to say another word to her or mom ever again, or at least until They notice somethings wrong. I just want to ingore them ‘till the END OF TIME! and just stay in my room.

Why are they all so mean to me? Mom won’t let me do anything. Kylie talks about me behind my back. And Hailey is just always mean to me. Moms knocking on my door now demanding me to open it. I just ignore her. I thing shes going to unlock it... I hope we dont have another mother to daughter

*she unlocks the door and thats when everything Changed...*

I dont know what to do anymore I need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help i need help

PLEASE SOMEONE SAVE ME

i need help i need someone to help me. shes carazy crazy i need to get out. i need t gte away before i hurt or kill myself!

I feel my head is on the brink of exploding. and writing this down is like poking a hole in a plasitc bag filled withwater. ti its emting, but not nearly fast enough. My head feels like its expanding. Like the universe. what happens when t reaches’ its limits? will all my thoughts roam free through the air? what will happen to my memories. will my soul float away allong side them...

she said if I leave she’ll call the police and tell them I hit her. she already hit me. And the way hailey is acting, I dont know whoes side she’d take. she started going crazy. she was scratching her OWN ARM like a dog digs in the sand, had and fast. I couldnt say anything it was in that moment that I had truly beleved she had gone insane. She said I could go live with Keri. “would you like to live in that house? with all the drug dealers and pimps and whores?” I was so shocked that she actually said that.

i cant see myself growing up, getting a job or be in a relationship. maybe thats a sigh\n telling me to kill myself. sometimes I do think about offing myself. ALOT. But then something in the back of my mind says ‘NO! why would you do that?!’ It seems like two little trolls at war in my mind.

I dont want anyone to read this journal yet at the same time I want the whole world to know how I feel and what is happening to me

when Im happy around my friends it feels real. It dosent feel like Im putting on a mask like other people say. My happiness around them is genuine. But when i get home I just unravel. like a ball of yarn, untwisting itself untill it becomes one long strand. And at night, when im alone at my computer, when everyones alseep, I think thats the time when I start bringing myself together again. Rolling my singal strandself back into a yarnball for school. Just so I can come home to unravel again. Unravel, reravel, unravel, reravel, unravel, reravel, over and over, again and again. I hope that one day I can find someway to keep myself all raveled up in a ball, not worrying about unravelling and reravelling... :(

#diary #journal #diary entry #journal entry #2015 #this is very corny and bad but #at the time i was going through and actual crisis so #i think i deserve some slack

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