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deepreviewvoid · 7 months
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- The Fortress' Power Couple! -
wriothesly x gn reader!
Genre : Crack, Fluff, Tea.
Synopsis : a collection of scenarios as the couple of The Fortress of Meropide, don't forget our Sigewinne!
Background : You managed to steal the Duke's heart even on Sigewinne's watch, and now you three depict a happy family, happy, but still armed~!
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Scenario #1 : The Fortress' Clock
You were standing right in the middle of the administrative area, observing the new giant clock that has been hanged from the ceiling. The clock's hand movement is a little off, so it's been bothering you.
This little idea was implemented by you and Wrio, due to the increasing complaints by the workers about sleep deprivation which Sigewinne has picked up and analysed that the 'lack of time awareness' was the true casual factor because not everyone had access to a stop watch.
"Hey~ What are you doing?" Your significant other has appeared! ( as expected!) Casually, Wrio asked in a friendly tone, "Watching the clock" you replied in a semi- serious tone, indicating that your current entire attention and thoughtfulness was invested on simply watching the clock as it goes. . .
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
he noticed how the matter consumed your interest, hence, he fixated his eyes on the clock as well, trying to navigate through your source of current interest, soon, the 'What are you doing?' Became 'What are we doing?' Ever so casually, but for the prisoners who were watching, they were really dying to know: 'What are they doing?!'
Minutes passed, Wrio was still standing, by now his arms were crossed lazily, he stared at you, hoping that at any moment now, he'd hear you speak. Wrio knows that when something catches your interest, he has to devote part of his interest unto the topic as well, it's the way the Fortress has been on its feet ever since your appearance has made impact on the decision making, and likewise is true, you devote part of your interest if Wrio were to ever discuss a new topic.
He has a certain charisma in the prison, but you are able to navigate around it. The Wrio you know will stand with you till eternity . . .
Even if its about a clock.
A few onlookers were now whispering in confusion, but the old inmates weren't surprised as they refuted their confusion, 'its just the Duke and his lover! Casual stuff really' they knew how bizzare of a pair these two are, so when the clock's hour hand finally struck the hour one, you giggled in anticipation, here it comes!
'Your Grace! It's time for your afternoon tea, please, do not disturb the Duke's office for the upcoming hour!'
A voice rang through the entire area, Wrio was caught off guard, correction: everyone in the hall was caught off guard by the sudden noise.
The Duke's haze like state disappeared as he looked around for the source of the familiar voice, he soon realised it came from the newly hanged clock.
He met his beloved's mischievous face.
"Tadaa~! This clock can indeed speak! I've asked the engineers to add customised lines for each tea time! Voiced by Sigewinne!" Your voice was cheerful, satisfied with the outcome, even clapping like a child at how it this feature was finally executed.
It didn't take long for the cheeky smile to appear on his face, "How adorable" playing emphasis on adorable, Wrio meant to say 'cute and thoughtful but no thanks' and you knew that full well, as his eyebrows twitched.
If you had blinked, you would have missed that second a blush of embarssement crept on his face. It's a public like announcement! But Wrio clearly prefers to keep you to himself in private, he also thinks it'll provide a nuisance for the prisoners if this were to be permanently implemented.
You knew all that too well, yet went on further in pestering him "it even has voice lines for morning tea, lucky day meals, 'night night snacks' and Sigewinne specialty shakes time!" you happily exclaimed in an awfully cheerful manner that Wrio couldn't refuse/deny/resist or utter any possible means of saying no.
So, he shook his head and proceeded to drag you into his office, initially, he scolded you in a friendly bickery manner as he prepared the afternoon tea.
"Darling, it's adorable but we can't keep it permanently, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness"
"Please! We worked so hard on it! Even Sigewinne had to go over the lines a couple of times!"
It seemed hopeless at first, but then you were quickly reminded that nothing could ever feel that way when it's about Wrio; and it was true, He soon succumbed into your request and you made a truce 'to atleast keep this feature for one week!' Because he couldnt resist the moment you flashed him those innocent soft eyes.
He groaned, placing a hand on his face and waving his hand "fine! fine!" and with that, your work paid off even if for a little while, you poured the tea victoriously into the matching pair of tea cups.
Soon, Sigewinne appeared from the stairs, you immediately flashed her a knowing glance and a thumbs up 'we got him!'. Wrio just smiled at how obvious your communication was with Siegwinne, but he found himself unable to stop smiling as he's reminded of the deep bond you've formed with her. His beloved Melusine!
"Pound it!" You and Sigewinne fist bumped as you sat on the two chairs across from Wrio's desk, he unconsciously rolled his eyes, settling down his hot chamomile cup gently on the table. "So, who's idea was it to reveal the term 'night night snacks' to the entire Fortress?"
He chuckled heartily even if he received no reply, because you and Siegwinne were pointing a finger at each other at the same time.
~~~~~ Later that Night
That night, Wrio, secretly kissed your cheek in your sleep, whispering words of gratitude that he has you on his side, you add the perfect mix of chaotic energy in his life, the one that reminds him of his olden days when he used to be an inmate himself.
That night, he understood the truth of your intention; the purpose of this clock is not only to aid the prisoners in time perception, but to also serve as a reminder that it's the Duke's peaceful time, because sometimes, it gets disturbed, yet he never complained.
What a humble Wrio!
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Scenario #2 : Neuvillette's Visit
Even if we're practically underwater, the gossip here spreads like wildfire, the entire fortress was aware that today, the Iudex, Chief Justice of Fontaine, Neuvillete is visiting! He's a Fontaine Celebrity, some argue that his fame exceeds the Archon her self!
Everyone, even the inmates wanted to be in good shape and manners, lest he remembers their trials, or them after after they've been redeemed.
'Quick, drop the red carpets everybody!' said the entire fortress.
'Le Gasp' - also the entire fortress as Wriothesley just patted Neuvillete's back, extremely informally, as if they're childhood friends that have been playing in the mud under the sun since the morning.
"Good to see you! You finally decided to visit, looking very responsible-y in spirits as per usual!"
Neuvillette's eyebrows burrowed as he sighed and muttered 'to you as well' his face fixated on yours as if inquiring for 'help', you just smirked and gave him two thumbs up, truth is, you shared this habit with Wriothesley, this habit of informally annoying Neuvillete and completely, if not completely, destroying the formal decorum.
You and Wrio, both agreed that it indirectly influences his mood, it's sort of like an unwinding mechanism as he decends from the ever so formal world above and its harsh duties.
Neuvillette's patience was wearing out, but he immediately seemed to 'forgive and forget' everything once he saw little Sigewinne making her way to him, his tight facial expressions were let lose as she adorably hugged Neuvillete (only able to hug one of his legs!), immediately trying to offer him all the surprises (and shakes) that she's prepared for this special day.
Wrio smiled at the two, giving them a little space as he backed to your side, leaning down to whisper in your ear "Did you prepare the tea?" Wrio is a tea enthusiast, we all know that, but this tea, he meant was not only actual tea, but it was a code for asking: if everything else is set?.
You nodded, reassuringly giving him a gentle smile, whispering back all the basic preparations "Tea collection organised, Documents prepared, Lucky meal day is set, Pipes are clean, Workers are free for the day"
"Perfect, thanks darling" he hastily kissed one of your cheeks, his gaze softening for a moment, then he turns to Neuvillete who's still 'very seriously' listening to each word Sigewinne has to say.
Out of his very special kindness, Wriothesley let the prisoners inquire Neuvillete (with his permission) about the over world affairs. Some asked if their families are okay, others asked if certain unclosed cases have finally been solved? Few praised his work and thanked him, saying that they'll behave better once redeemed.
Wrio was always proud of this under city that he's worked hard to organise and improve, and seeing that some of the prisoner's had such kind words made him smile, like: hell yeah those are my people!
Furthermore, watching Wrio's geniune happiness warmed your heart, everyday, the Duke makes you fall harder in love with his extremely noble intentions every single day.
After Neuvillette's little celebatory rendezvous with the prisoners, you four left for the Duke's office, and once we're in, that's when business starts.
Wrio usually negotiates with Neuvillete regarding new plans, and these negotiations are pretty much the only time when the power couple actually wears the serious mask, because this concerns Fontaine's future political environment, even if the Fortress is a separate jurisdiction, it remains tied with Fontaine's justice system in one way or another, it also serves as a secret for a history long forgotten. . .
"Negotations with the South have been going smoothly, however, i worry that with an increased immigration rate, the crime rate also follows suit, most are not accustomed with Fontaine's 'extra-ordinary laws'" Neuvillete spoke, so eloquently, yet so gently because Sigwinne was on his lap, enjoying her little shake. Neuvillete had no objections as he drank his shake too, meanwhile you and Wriothesley held your matching pair of cups, it was your turn to speak as Wrio gave you a knowing glance 'go on', he occasionally likes to test your negotation skills, it boosts his admiration for you seeing that you're able to rule with finess. (By his side)
"I think that's on the court, the laws are seriously jumbled up, you've got to compromise with Lady Furina, perhaps inquire that the laws not be so harsh with foreigners?" you spoke, and Wriothesley's lips faintly projected his pride in you as he agreed "I think so too, we, as the Fortress of Meropide serve as a haven for exiles, however, taking on such a number of short notice inmates provides burdens in the efficiencies of the funding and resource chain management of the Fortress"
"I think so too! Foreigner inmates are more likely to be careless and unfamiliar with the fortess, they'll surely cramp my schedule as the head nurse" little Sigewinne added.
Just like Wrio, Neuvillette also showed signs of pride in Siegwinne, "All of these arguments are extremely valid" (he made sure to include Sigewinne's opinion) "Very well, I will speak with Lady Furina upon my return, this result was much expected before my arrival, in pure intention, I must confide in the fact that I've wanted to meet all of you once more"
After that heartfelt note of Neuvillete's confession, the office burst into laughter mostly Sigewinne, who's finally reunited with with her favourite dragon. This time, Wrio wrapped an arm around your shoulder, giving you the tough treatment of children who've been playing in the mud all day long, he didn't hesitate to show Neuvillete his confidence in your ability, his confidence in your companionship together.
"Wrio, Darling, I can't breathe" you laughed awkwardly as the air is squeezed out of your lungs, he has too much pride in you!
This time, it was your turn to inquire Neuvillete for 'help', but upon meeting his gaze, he was sipping rather innocently from his shake, giving you a subtle wink.
He acted ignorant as he returned his attention to Sigewinne, listening to her stories once more.
~~~~ Later that Night
"It was like a literal crime scene infront of the Iudex! I couldn't breathe!" You complained to Sigewinne as you sat on Wrio's seat which was vacant, he was yet to return from his night duties.
Sigewinne giggled, "I believe that's his declaration of love, his grace is extremely hearty in actions, worry not that's just his way of confessing pride!"
"Oh little Sigewinne, you've come so far into understanding human emotions too, can I declare my love to you as well?"
No sooner had you spoke, she was already running down the office stairs upon understanding your intentions.
What a quick goodnight!
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Scenario #3 : 'That's my darling!'
The Pankration ring often holds weekly tournaments, you and Wrio, and pretty much the entire Fortress (save for a few shy inmates and Sigewinne) enjoy watching the battles.
As an ex-prisoner, Wrio spent most of his time here, as the Duke, he doesn't participate as much due to his strength, unless an inmate has specifically requested for a spar, in which he delightfully agreed to fulfill their request. He liked to entertain the fort, even when he's not in the ring, he still entertains the fort, how?
He let's you fight, and you frankly enjoy it. Sigewinne worried at first, but soon, she understood why Wrio allowed his companion to join, Wrio had full confidence in your capabilities and he simply liked to see his darling as a bad ass.
You weren't as powerful as him, but powerful enough to make the fights you participated in very interesting. The prisoners loved you as well, just as they admire the Duke, they admired how his significant other also slays.
Tonight, the Pankration ring held out an all out fight with you! After months of training by Wrio for this grand game, this was the greatest challenge that you were about to undertake. The arena is open, for anyone to fight untill you're knocked down.
"You're ready, just remember, focus, think, breathe..." Wrio had both of his palms on your shoulder, saying naught but sweet words as he towered behind you. You both were facing a mirror, seeing his face brim full of his love towards you gave you the boost you needed.
"Thank you" you placed a hand on one of his palms, giving it a squeeze of appreciatation. Even little Sigewinne assured you that she was going to stand on the backline to aid you right away, but you gave her a confident smile, "The only wounds you'll be treating are that of the inmate's" you sassily replied, Wrio chuckled and patted your head gently.
And with that, it was time!
Everyone was eager, the fighters were all excited to get a chance aganist your prowess, Wrio was the formal commentator for this fight, and soon, he announced the commencement of the showdown.
You saw his smile from across the crowds, the little nod he gave, you remembered his words as the different participants joined the stage. Its show time!
One after another, you sent the men down, successfully multitasking both defense and offense. Everything was going smoothly, as soon as they climbed, they would get knocked off stage.
But you only got so far when one of the infamous inmate fighter got a blow in your guts, you tried your hardest to stand your ground but soon, you've depleted all your stamina in defending yourself from all the blows that soon arrived after you've been weakned.
"And they're down!" Wriothesley officially announced the end of the game, everybody cheered for your efforts, even if they were in pain, the Fort acknowledged your prowess just as much as you cheered for everybody who's participated, you offered your hand to them, and together, everyone batteled aganist the physique of mortality to stand up together.
The entire Fort that night celebrated with a free Lucky Meal at the cafeteria, everyone was seated at the busy cafeteria, a crowd surrounded your table with Wrio.
"What a great sportsmanship from y/n!"
"Right? This was the most impressing tournament this year no doubt"
"Your Grace! Thank you for the opportunity!"
Multiple comments were picked up by Wrio, he was proud, of his people and of his significant other, he gave you a knowing glance in the light of all these lovely comments.
"That's my darling" he whispered as he teasingly elbowed your stomach, you jolted in pain that was quickly subdued by his kind smile, you seemed to forget it all because right infront of you, is the reason everything will always be alright in this life.
~~~~ Later that night
That night, Wrio couldn't compress his love for you, he was proud of you everyday, but tonight you stirred something new in him, even more love in you that he didn't know was possible. You fill his heart and soul.
That night, he kissed you gently on the lips before tucking you comfortably in your shared bed, the next morning, you had the finest tea, and biscuits, hand fed by yours truly. (He insisted)
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Bonus!Scenario : Where is Sigewinne?
Wrio asked, you replied:
"Nursery?"
"Not there"
"The Cafeteria?"
"Already Checked"
"Reception Lobby?"
"Nope, she hasn't been sighted there"
"The production zone?"
"Nay"
"Where could she possibly be!" He settled down his morning tea with a thud, worry already clouding his face, but he quickly reassures himself, there's no way Sigewinne would get herself in trouble, not in his domain.
"Don't worry, she's smart as hell and . . armed" you reassured him, with a gentle hand over his "the guards are on alert, we'll be notified of her sighting at once" the moment you mentioned it, one of the special access guards entered the office "Your Grace! We found her!" their voice ringed from bellow.
You and Wrio shared a glance, then you both sprinted into that said location, following the guard into the reception zone.
Wrio looked around, but there was no Sigewinne in sight, and you just confirmed to him that the reception area is clear, 'is this some kind of joke?' He was about to ask.
The guard immediately noticed the Duke's distress, they awkwardly pointed their hands "Y-Your grace, she's right over there!"
Your gaze followed the guards gesture, they were pointing at. . . the glass panel that overlooked the waters?
Barely, if you squeeze your eyes, you can make out her shape in the waters, the panel was dirty but you slammed yourself into the glass for better vision.
"Sigewinne!" You laughed, "You little prick!"
Wrio did the same, wiping a small part just barely enough for his eyes, Sigewinne was. . . swimming, carrying a few nets filled with Tidalya which you assumed, she uses in her shakes.
She waved at the both of you, mouthing the words "Your Grace!" Slightly embarssed that she's been caught.
Wrio sighed, but he still gave her an intimidating look, to which she mouthed the word "Sorry!"
You were still giggling "Don't worry, I'll cover for you Siegwinne!" To which she gracefully smiled at your kind words.
Wrio lightly and playfully punched your shoulder, "Don't encourage her" to which you quickly refuted, "She's a melusine remember?"
He turned away with a sigh of relief, "have this glass panel cleaned" he ordered the guard, you turned your attention to Wrio, "you're right, she's a melusine" he said, his pride never letting his judgement be clouded.
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A/N : I've never had so much fun in writing before, this Wrio fanfic is seriously my favourite now! (He's amazing, the quest left me impressed)
With that said, hello! This is my first time writing for Genshin! Glad to have made a contribution! I also write about BSD!
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deepreviewvoid · 7 months
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- foreseen punishment, foreseen misery -
pm Dazai × gn Reader!
+ mentions of Chuuya, Ango & Mori
Genre : 100% Shenanigans, Slight Fluff, Slight Angst
Synopsis : the port mafia reigns victorious once again, some see it's worth, others completely diregard it because foreseen misery is regardless. Ft. Shenanigans in various port locations with Dazai.
Background : Odasaku is also the reader's friend, and you have a special ability, it allows you to manipulate / brainwash the enemy's mind for your gains, it comes at a cost, minor memory loss.
Triggers : port mafia stuff
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The Port Mafia just crushed an entire organisation from stem to root in a one week length operation. It was a no-brainer, defeat was a taste that most forgot about ever since Mori reigned. It's hard to salt the wounds when there's none.
If the mafia is always securing its spot as Yokohama's top underground monopoly, then this said group had no chance, but, they provoked the mafia and soon enough their demise entailed.
This operation was mostly masterminded by Dazai who divided the squads and the attack patterns; with Mori pulling everyone's strings, it was an inevitable crushing victory, however, once the curtains finally close, the casualties become apparent.
You didn't need to wait for curtains, your squad perished infront of your eyes during the latest phase. It was all because of a single crucial mistake that spiraled into a loss.
Mistakes have owners whom happens to be Akutagawa in this case.
--- At HQ
The sun is setting, hallways at HQ are much noisier than usual, a smile was evident on every person's face. Men wearing black suits, holding guns and smiling . . . how bizarre of a scene it would be if a mediocre man were to walk here, safe to say no one here can be considered mediocre when the majority's blood is as black as these suits, even for the low ranks.
Their hideous laughter filed the hallways, this victory still had merits for them. You're usually better off acting deaf, and it's no exception today; you crossed the hallways with complete ignorance, throwing in a few glares here and there when the noises got too barbaric, too raucous for a delicate human's ear.
They cleared their throats upon realising that your eyes lingered, let's just say that your reputation exceeds you in the mafia, unfortunately, not for your feats, but rather your sickening ability. If you were to gaze just long enough into another's eyes, they would fall under your control, they would speak of what you desired and act as you wish. That's why, you were invaluable when it came to the interrogation ward.
Floor by floor, the higher you ascended, the more pompous the party seems, because up in the tower resided the higher ups, and they were none the wiser.
The higher ups were a different breed, they're ecstatic, greedy, their boarish laughters echoing, getting hysterically louder. They're practically drowning in their lust for victory, stepping their heels on fancy carpets drowned in fine wine.
Upon reaching the top floor suit, you were finally glad to have reached the pinnacle of the tower, up where it quiets down, because this is where the king resides. You walked out the elevator after passing security verification, eventually to your destination, a large mahogany door stood tall.
Mori isn't a fun king, this door, especially this door and its walls are soundproof. You could barely make out some murmurs from the inside even if you were attentive to listen, hence it's pointless to just stand idly. You pushed the grand door open and stepped inside, the extravagant office is illuminated by the last rays of the sunlight for the day.
"Welcome y/n, I was hoping you'd come around" Mori was smiling, sitting diligently yet comfortablly in his fine wood chair like the mad Doctor he is. Infront of the Mori's desk stood Dazai, who acknowledged your presence by turning to face you.
There's a hierarchy, and Mori's authority is on top, so it was customary as you did a slight bow "Boss" addressing him in a monotone voice, you lifted your head once more, gazing back at him.
"It seems that you're unscathed, for the most part" his eyes landed on your bandaged hand, which you recently injured when a gunshot jabbed its way. "Even so your squad got the short end of the stick. Quite fortuitous, don't you think?"
You didn't reply. It wasn't by luck that you're alive, you were forced to make extensive use of your ability to get you and the few men left of the weeds.
His eyes lingered on your right hand for a moment too long, "I could take a look at it, it's not tightly wrapped" you anticipated this, so you shunned him almost immediately "no thanks"
"Pity" he said, with a slight tone of disappointment "We were just discussing the pay offs of this operation, but above all, I'm eager for your personal report"
Information, you're good at gathering it.
Infromation is also the mafia's top asset interms of it's profound importance, the gifted come second.
After brainwashing targeted individuals, you gathered crucial intel, so the report you handed him was priceless. Mori's eyes gave this paper all the attention it deserves and satisfaction soon plastered his face.
"very good" was all he said in a bemused tone, after feasting his eyes, he discarded this paper to the side and it was picked up by Dazai to view who mumbled something like: "Not too far from expectations"
Dazai's predictions were aligned with what you gathered, this organisation had a few strings to pull with, and now its apparent where they pulled them from.
They began bickering sbout 'their next move'.
The mafia's prosperity is currently being masterminded by them, the ideas they produce seem inscrutable, devious and so intricate, because they even plan each domino's spot as it falls ontop of another.
You were fixated to where you stood, awaiting any notice, however, Mori didn't speak of further demands, so you simply excused yourself.
"If that's all then excuse me" you said, turning away, and towards your next destination, Dazai's voice rang "So soon?" He called out in a voice of petite light-heartedness.
You halted, "If its about Akutagawa, you know where to find me"
Akutagawa's blind mistake, his disobedience to Dazai during the final stage of the operation costed mafia lives. Dazai was undoubtedly going to inquire a retelling of events, and regardless, Akutagawa's punishment is foreseen.
"That's what you say everytime" mockingly yet jokingly he complained, "you're awfully hard to find once you're gone, just wait a minute for me okay?"
a small breath escaped as you smiled, it baffled you how Dazai, the literal genius often complains to you about how arduous it is to locate you. The smile turned into a tiny chuckle, "One minute" you said, leaving the office.
The hallway just outside the door was spacious, equipped with the higher up groove which consisted of fancy wallpaper, fancy furniture, fancy carpets, fancy shamncy. . . Resting at some random boujee chair, you waited.
Shortly after, Dazai exited Mori's office and sat on the second vacant chair beside you. "I was serious, ya'know" he sat down lazily like a cat, gesturing around he spoke "you have a diligent habit of going mia" he complained once again, so, naturally, you complained back.
"I'm not thaaat hard to find,Besides, you're capable of finding whoever you want on a whim, and 'mia' is better fitting for a boy who likes to go dumpster diving"
"Point taken!" He placed a hand on his chest for a touch of dramatic flare, but, assuming that Dazai is in an actual good mood is a grave mistake. "You don't forge many habits, so it's hard to track you down"
"I assure you I'm not that mysterious" you casually said,giving him a rather conspicuous glance "so, Akutagawa? Why don't you interrogate him yourself as his mentor?" You asked, immediately answering yourself, "Oh wait! You won't interrogate him yet to impose psychological fear in anticipation of the coming punshiment" you jested.
Anticipation can cause serious anxiety, it can jumble a humans mind, and influence their behaviour especially when the anticipated is already foreseen.
"You read my mind" he smiled, a tinge of sinister mixed with some cruelty in that smile, just like how Mori was so bemused, Dazai couldn't get further from being his spitting image. "I'd like to hear your version of events first"
"Ever heard of reverse psychology? It's the main casual factor" you explained, leaning on the small high legged table, "Akutagawa's very diligence in heeding your orders, is also the reason that vexation carried him away"
Akutagawa was deployed on your squad by Dazai, he were to act as the main defensive mechanism, to safe guard your position while Dazai and Chuuya carried the front line.
Your ability alone is no good, it's a poker card that could only do so much.
"He charged full-offensive at an attacking party, which left me and my squad in a peril, that's when it happened"
"Do you know what that means?" you asked, in a manner of leading the conversation.
"The prophecy you made about a surprise ambush was true, Akutagawa knew that it would happen, yet his arrogance led him away like a stray dog"
Akutagawa's arrogance is the consequence of Dazai's torment, yet, he idolises Dazai; and you loathed this because it fed Dazai's ego.
"That's all you need to know"
Dazai quietly took in the infromation, your point of view for the events, your analysis on Akutagawa's behaviour. His eyes not focused on something in particular, as if lost in procrastination, then, he spoke "Look at that", he pointed at your right hand, "its bleeding"
Up untill his remark, you were numb to the ache, you carefully removed your hand from your cheek, the wound reopened, blood seeping from the bandages that were pathetically tied by an unexperienced apothecary.
You wiped off your smudged cheek the clean side of the bandages, you couldn't curse yourself, its your dominant hand, you were bound to unconsciously cause harm to it in its fragile state. However, Blood here was normal, this is normal, this is casual mafia stuff, it's normal to shrug it off.
Your eyes flew back to Dazai who was staring, probably the entire time, "Anything else you need?" Pulling the bandages tighter, the bleeding temporarily pausing.
"Glad you asked, you still owe me a drink"
"That was over a rock-paper-scissors game that you gaslighted Chuuya to play last week Correction: he owes you a drink"
"Not that one, the other one"
"You made a bet with Odasaku over whether or not Ango would show up to the bar, Oda's the one who owes you, why am I still involved here?" You slumped your shoulder at these short-comings, you didnt like where this is going.
Dazai gaslighting and making bets were something that you grew immune to, but he always found a way to still drag you into it.
"Odasaku lost, and placed the bill for the drink on your tab since he spends so much on the orphans, I was sure he informed you!" He said, in an act-innocent kind of tone, cooing you in the process.
You paused for a moment, combing through the memories to confirm his claim, which happened to be true. . . Poor man Odasaku couldn't handle him, you chuckled amidst your defeat saying, "Alright I'll be sure to buy something very special like some bleach"
"Great! I'll be eagerly waiting for that" he stood up, his posture suddenly energetic. You looked up, noticing yet another questionable smile, "I'll go raid Ango's office, you coming?"
"I completely forgot about that" you stood up as well, "We probably gave him three nighters worth of work with that mess"
"First, you might want to patch your hand up, the last thing you want to do is spill a drop in his office"
"Oh yeah, didn't you sneeze some mucus into one of the ledgers before?"
"Don't look at me as if I was caught, of course not"
--- Ango's office
Dazai didn't bother knocking, he simply shouted a in a hurried manner "Ango, I'm coming in!" He pushed the large door open, you two peeked inside to see an irritated yet exhausted Ango, who was visibly annoyed at the both of you for the interruption, especially Dazai, but Dazai was already stepping inside like he owns the place with you following suit into the archive like room.
Ango eventually sighed as he gently settled down his ink pen in its holder, then, he took off his glasses and started to clean the glass with a delicate cotton piece. It was as if he's been working tirelessly for hours, and only then did he remember to do such basic yet necessary actions.
"How may I assist you?" He calmly spoke, with a very subtle hint of anxiety.
Dazai forced a sly grin as he walked to Ango's desk in long strides "Oh, don't be so gloomy Ango, I'm here to check on your well being"
"What Dazai means to say is, 'I hope you're not drooling over the causalities again'" You cut off Dazai as if to save Ango from his antics.
When you both reached his desk, you sighed synchronically as your eyes peered over the view.
Piles of papper, seals of all sizes, file holders and ledger books scattered everywhere, yet Ango managed to keep a small spot organised to be able to document properly.
"I had my doubts" Dazai crossed his arms, carefully giving all the papers a thoughtful glance, you noticed that he clenched his fist, clearly irritated about something, and you knew exactly what it was, it's the Akutagawa situation. (Who would have guessed?!)
"Sixty-two men in total" Ango lifted a finger to the middle of his glasses, "This operation alone has peaked the count of last year's entire fatalities, so if anything, I should be 'drooling' over it. These families need proper closure, and proper condolences cash distribution" Ango looked up at Dazai as he calmly spoke, then, he shifted his gaze towards you "your unit accounts for the most", he added, and it only made you irritated.
"I know" disappointment mixed with resentment washed over you. Originally, you estimated that your unfortunate squad lost thirty men, that's proportionally half of the total count, which implies that the severity of the loss could have been greatly reduced should have Akutagawa made the right choice.
Safe to say, Dazai had the same thought, he was purely displeased, disgusted, and a many other words to describe a face that lacks mercy, a face that is glaring into the future of an already foreseen punishment, but now he's staring at you with those menacing eyes.
"Truly misfortunate" Dazai said, in the midst of almost clenching his teeth, it must suck when he's already foreseen everything, yet his orders go defied.
Ango lowered his gaze to the table clock, it's almost midnight now, not that it matters, he'll most likely be staying untill sunrise.
"I have to finish these documents, excuse me" Ango held his ink pen once more and shifted his focus back towards his work rather awkwardly.
"Sorry Ango, you're practically a one man army in this cursed job description, wish I could help you but oh well" you raised your injured hand into view, there's no way you could hold anything with it without running with the risk of re-opening it again.
"Thank you, inspite of the situation, perhaps you could have helped if you had a more refined handwriting"
"Seriously" you rolled your eyes to the ceiling of this dimly lit room, "Good one Ango!" Dazai cheered on the side.
Dazai's temperament was still apparent, not at the loss of sixty-so men, Dazai simply does not care about death or carnage, he's fully pissed off by Akutagawa.
The thought of Akutagawa probably fuels him all the more motivation to go out there and punch him, "Well, we won't bother you for much longer, your plate is already full" Dazai said.
You two existed Ango's office, and with a quick 'cya', you went one way, and he went the other.
---------------------------------------------------
After that night, you were bombarded with more work, too much work. Mori and Executive Kōyō were always too confident in your ability, too comfortable with the exploitation of this gruesome psychological ability, too careless, because they couldn't care less about the consequences, the forgetful state it puts you in.
Executive Kōyō frequently required your presence in her extreme interrogations, her torture methods are very variable and sometimes, she likes to spice things up by letting you break their minds. Information gathering and mind breaking is what you're good for in the mafia.
Everybody knew that much.
--- Two days later, at HQ.
It was a normal day like any other, sun sets down over Yokohama, night time settles in and mafia work begins. You were just walking out of the interrogation ward when a certain orange haired fellow approached you.
"lookin' awfully depressed as usual" Chuuya mumbled, approaching you whilst adjusting his hat. "Woah, get your vision straight, im not Dazai" you scoffed, still walking in whatever direction you were heading, forcing Chuuya to follow to keep up the conversation.
He smirked at your dainty reply, "You interrogation freaks are creepy" he never liked interrogation, nor Kōyō, he fully meant the emphasis on the word 'creepy'
"Also, you are very much Dazai. The way I see it, two assholes" he mumbled once more.
"Point taken fancy hat, what's the occasion?" You abruptly stopped, crossing your arms at him. You two lashed out in a series of quick paced replies.
"I bought a new bottle"
"of course you did"
"It's the good stuff"
"I don't drink"
"Come on, surely you can hold in three sips"
"no way, fancy hat"
"what a weak bloodline you have"
"your bloodline can speak of its height"
Critical Hit!
Chuuya's eyes widened in half-shocked half-insulted way, he growled a random cursive word, and it only made your victorious grin all the more wider.
It was fun to mess with the gentleman, Chuuya was very xpressive, hence, fun to tease.
He may have a chaotic ability, but you know well that his heart is one of a gentleman and that's how Dazai pretty much makes a living out of this guy.
"You know that flower pot you like so much?" He mumbled, his eyes showed little new found mischief, whatever it was, you didn't like it.
"My chamomile pot, don't you dare touch it" You raised a suspicious eyebrow, this is one of your most treasured trinkets, and him spewing about it already started to get you a little warry.
"I'll create an upside down gravitational field" he said, it was his turn to grin victoriously.
He tampered with what you love most, a chamomile pot.
Its a senestive topic because you held this pot so dear, and if it's gravity became inverted, safe to say that it'll dry out and die with no water to the roots.
"You wouldn't dare!" You stomped a foot, clearly agitated, glaring at him you said, "Playing dirty Nakahara? That's not like you. I bet Dazai told you about this nifty trick, and he's probably laughing his ass off somewhere else right now"
A few onlookers stole a glance at the scene, immediately disappearing to their work without lingering for too long.
"you're right, but all be damned, so are you coming or not?" The red head turned his gaze away as he spoke of the invitation.
"Fine, bastard" you lightly punched his shoulder out of habit, immediately groaning once you realised its your right hand.
Chuuya didnt pity you for it, in fact, he was probably happy that you accidentally hurt yourself in some way. Soon after, you both started walking to your destination, an all too well familiar room.
Chuuya closed the door behind you, ahead was a room, also called safe haven 333. No superiors or grownups allowed, Dazai technically counts as a 'superior' but, he passed the vibe check.
It was a nice secluded room with a view over Yokohama, comfortable with three chabinets a fridge for drinks, in the center is a round table with three leather arm chairs around it.
Chuuya stores some wine in his cabinet, you keep tea bags around, and Dazai. . . Well, he keeps a couple of books, which seems normal untill you realise the topics are: narcotics, suicide and lethal injections.
One time, Chuuya intentionally spilled a few drops on Dazai's book, it was laced with potassium, causing a small explosion. Till this day, you wonder if its a trap Dazai intentionally set, maybe he knew Chuuya's temperament towards him was one day going to get the better of his books as Chuuya sipped a glass.
Talk about Saftey Hazard.
.
.
.
Dazai was already seated, he acknowledged your arrival as you took your seat, while Chuuya walked to his cabinet.
"took you long enough" Dazai said, and you rolled your eyes through his comment, instead focusing on something else, his knuckles, they were blood red.
Someone got the fist treatment.
"Im guessing our little fun blackmail worked?" He perked an eyebrow and a knowing grin at Chuuya, who was holding a giant bottle laced in luxurious labels.
"Very. Humorous. Dazai" you gave away a small glare 'screw you' at his eternal smile from across the table, Meanwhile, Chuuya carefully settled three fine glasses.
His satisfaction immeasurable as he corked open the exquisite bottle, masterfully pouring two glasses full and around two sips worth in the third.
Everyone reached for their respective glass, after a quick visual study, you smelled the sweet liquid.
It wasn't favourable to you, nor was it enticing in the slightest to try. "Remind me again on how and why we three drink together?" You asked.
"This baby tastes better when it's fully honored like that, besides, drinking with the creepy woman or the boss aren't fun" Chuuya took a sip and let out an extremely satisfied puff of air, sinking into his leather arm chair.
His argument was valid, higher-ups aren't particularly 'fun' to be around with.
"I didn't pay a single penny! Truly blessed to be alive tonight" Dazai's voice rang with an eerie happiness.
"One glass is all you get, don't get your hopes into existence" Chuya refuted.
.
.
.
Dazai and Chuuya, always polar opposites, but with you around, it was a tri-polar opposite.
Dazai enjoyed his glass of wine in a calm yet chatoic manner as he carelessly got a few drops on his attire, his liquor tolerance is a pinnacle on its own. He practically drank this thing like it's a kids juice, that made Chuuya agitated the whole time. Eye-ing every precious drop wasted.
Speaking of Chuuya, he on the other hand, also enjoyed his glass, but in a more refined and fashioned way, you could tell that he savoured each sip, carefully giving his taste buds a run before sipping another. He knows a thing or two about wine for sure, a self-proclaimed conisseur.
Meanwhile, you just settled for a cup of tea, quietly blowing the steam off as you drank the hot chamomile mixture. Drinking alcohol wasn't your suit, it often made you nauseous because when combined with your memory troubles, It can seriously cause your entire well-being to become disoriented.
That's why Chuuya only gave you around two sips worth in a glass, you had to accept it, not to make Chuuya content, but to spare yourself from him boasting about how great it was since you didn't get to try.
You two could be in a mission together, and he'd suddenly talk about a bottle that 'he's so gonna buy' after all was set and done.
"now that's a big baddie" Chuuya held his glass elegantly as he commented on the wine, probably on his third glass now.
Dazai just twirled it around, as if toying with the mixture "I don't like it" he said, looking down as his drink, then, his lips quivered in a smile, "I prefer stronger drinks like vodka, it kills you faster"
Immediately and synchronically, you and Chuuya rolled your eyes. There goes tonights inevitable death joke.
"just keep drinking those chemicals like you always do, I'm sure it'll serve you right one day" Chuuya replied dryly, clenching his teeth, then he turned his focus on you, "what do ya think?" his voice was still annoyed, but he had a shred of hope that you'd have a more pleasing answer. . . Safe to say, you didn't give him that hope.
"it was. . . very fine. Nice after taste" you visibly cringed at your reply, earlier, you just downed those two sips in one go to be rid of it, there was no way you'd have a proper answer for this guy.
"you two are worst, never drinking with you again" Chuuya groaned as he face palmed, hiding his disappointed face behind his gloved hand, you and Dazai exchanged knowing glances, similar smirks, both of you already knew that you'd be back here again no matter what Chuuya actually says.
"Sorry, kill joy, we can instead talk about how your motorcycle exploded during the-"
"shut your mouth " Chuuya uttered and Dazai giggled.
"It exploded?" You perked up from your seat in a little act of shock, "but that one was your favourite Chuuya!" you dramatically coo-ed, placing both hands on your cheek.
"I told your asses before that they might look the same, but they're different. The one that exploded is clearly not my favourite" Chuuya was frustrated to even bother explaining the engineering diffrence behind the motocycles.
You added the salt, "same thing" and Dazai added more salt "yep, don't see the difference".
"Unbelievable" Chuuya's eyes were pracitically ceiling high at this point, while your smile and Dazai's could only get wider.
Moments passed by, both of them were beginning to bicker about what they had done during the operation. Chuuya didn't need to use corruption, that would have been an overkill, but they had some fruitful stories to share and many insults for each other to curse, you were entertained.
You noticed that at some parts of their retellings, your brain was empty, failing to retrieve that memory. You were used to this feeling, yet a shudder of dread still washes over your spine. It was like you never existed, it's like you're dead if you can't remember something clearly happened with you around.
You shrugged it off, like always. You joined them both instead, relaying your own interesting stories from the operation, and soon enough, the evening ends as midnight strikes, for Yokohama its bed time, for the Port Mafia, it's more work.
"well, I'm heading off. I've had enough of both of your antics for one night"
That was when Chuuya left, then door clicked shut, and then, nothing.
.
.
.
Nothing is still something. . .
In this moment of nothingness stretched a silence of thought, it was something.
That's your belief, contrary to the boy who sat infront of you.
Dazai is a nihilist . . .
.
.
everything and anything means nothing,
He's a full dimensional nihilist. He believes in nihilism in all its forms, especially existential nihilism, which argues that life has neither objective meaning nor profound purpose.
Your eyes once again flew back to his knuckles, they're red, swollen red. Either he punched a certain someone a hundred times, or a wall twenty times. The former more is more probable.
"Odasaku's busy tonight" Dazai spoke since the five minute silence, "Ango's overworked, and that leaves me in utter boredom" he dramatically raised a free hand signalling hopelessness in distress. His other hand carried his weight as he elbowed it on the arm of the chair.
You stared at him for a moment, before settling down your now empty cup of tea and standing up. He looked up at you, in a glance of curiosity, where are you heading? His eyes said.
"You said that I'm hard to track down, why don't you join me to solve the mystery?" You gestured your right hand infront of you in a welcoming matter, 'come with me'
He smiled.
Standing right away,
"Lead the way"
--- At Port
The refreshing salty breeze cooled your face as you stood facing the waters and the bright Yokohama, you're now in a large mafia territory, a territory of warehouses. Carrier ships rang their sirens in the distance signaling arrival and departure from the port city.
"So, this is where you disappear to? Not too bad"
"I read in a book that cool wind like this helps refresh memories, I often come here to just think"
He walked ahead to the edge of the concrete platform, and you followed behind. He then stared down, so you did as well, hoping to see what his eye saw.
"You know what they say about gazing into the abyss" you uttered, the water was deep, murky, anyone who looks down immediately becomes uncertain. Just a few feet away is the unknown.
"It also gazes unto you" he said in a half-whisper, clearly fascinated by the implication of this philisophy.
When the abyss gazes back, it tells us what we're made of, it tells us what we should not become.
"Come on" you placed your left hand on his shoulder, nudging him away "we don't want you to get an adrenaline rush, and before you know it you'll be jumping off"
"I can handle myself very well you know" he protested, you couldnt do anything as he forcefully sat down on the edge.
You sighed, his demeanor arrogant like a kid.
Here lies tonight, I suppose.
You sat down next to him, crossing your leg comfortably, while he dangled his feet off the edge.
Infront of the both of you was the city, stretching across the shore of Yokohama. Moments pass, all you could think of was how beautiful the view is. You thought that perhaps Dazai would feel the same, any human would shudder in awe every once in a while before the mirth of beauty.
Looking into his eyes, the nihilist was still staring at the waters. Eyes distant, nothing new to you, nothing new to him.
He was still as a statue, still focused on the waters, the waves as they ebbed and gently crashed into the wall, making a soothing sound, the wind animating the liveliness of a human being.
Dazai for the most part is unpredictable, but you know better. You know that regardless, humans can't help but make habits; this posture of his, this habit of staring aimlessly is when Dazai contemplates while wearing his nihilistic lenses.
"Look up Dazai, do you not find value in any of that?" you said, pointing your hand, moving it across the horizontal view.
"The world can be beautiful alright"
"Beauty Will Save the World"
The way you spoke seemed philosophical, but in true intent, the purpose behind your stayment was to throw Dazai some candy. He usually refutes optimistic views and hopeful signs. Surely, he was to speak of his own refutation any moment now.
You smiled sub-conciously the moment Dazai spoke, he took the bait by intricately giving away his nihilistic reproach for your statment, and upon noticing that you didn't show any audible reaction, not even a murmur of any sorts, because you'd usually scold his nihilism, Dazai turned his focus from the 'view' to you.
The first thing he saw were both of your hands raised, acting out a mouth like gesture. The second, were your lips unaudibly mouthing the word 'blah blah blah blah' continuously. You are clearly mocking his view, and that smirk of yours gave him a chuckle. He fell for it.
His chest shrinked as he laughed, Dazai does have a thing for when people mock him or contradict him in any 'fascinating' means. He welcomes it from the light side of his heart.
"you little devil!" He pouted sarcastically "not letting me express my extreme complaints and misery towards the dullness of life!" Lightly, he pushed you away with one hand to dispose childlike 'embarssement'.
You chuckled, your tenacity keeping you in place "Oh my bad! Just go ahead with citing the 78th reason of why life sucks and we all should die!"
.
.
.
Dazai met Odasaku three years ago, on the first week, Dazai attempted to murder him. You were confused as to why Oda would help a human who has clearly reached the point of no return in their lack of morality, but suddenly, time passed, things happened and they're both friends.
You weren't forced to befriend Dazai for the mere reason of being Odasaku's friend, the truth is, you saw through Odasaku's lenses and understood. Dazai is just a normal human like any other, and what Odasaku saw in him three years ago was a kid, a Fool, the word Odasaku called him when they first met, a kid, because Osasaku was ashamed when he first smoked infront of Dazai.
Even after masterminding this victory for the mafia, it's as if Dazai couldn't care less, its because. . .
He was yet to find his own victory
the victory he seeks, if he cannot find it in the harshest environments like the mafia, then really, what hope is left?
Being friends with this boy means riding his carrousel of nihilism, you weren't new to the ride, Odasaku wasn't either, in fact, Oda once told you, in his mature state of mind, a piece of advice, a rule to this carrousel.
'Step into his loneliness impolitely'
Any shred of hope that was to be thrown at Dazai will be immediately refuted by his scripted answers of why life was meaningless and death is favourable. Therefore, it is wisest to intrude into his dull chain by force to try and knock him off his feet, it's crucial to hurt his ego.
Luck was on your side when you were able to remember what you brought, your good hand dug into your coat, holding out two boxes. The sound of cloth made his eyes land on your action, you placed one box in his hand.
He tilted the box to read its label, "Apple Juice?" He read out loud and you answered "I owed you a drink, remember?" As long the term drink was vague, you were willing to play around. Besides, you don't consume alcohol anyway, so you bought two apple juice straw boxes from a convenience store beforehand, the juice had animal shapes on them which you thought were cute.
Dazai was familiar with how you treated life so lightly, contrary to his heavy self and timing, nothing bothered you much, and he smiled for that "I'll accept it" he said, piercing the straw in his box.
You did the same, your right hand is now marginally better, atleast holding the juice was possible if it were a delicate action.
The sweet apple juice sent a wave of energy in your body, it was a refresher to have something sweet. Biting the straw, you savoured the drink a little longer.
You couldnt help but stare at him with your peripheral vision, taking friendly notes to his actions, and inevitably your eyes landed on his bruised knuckles once more, curiosity leading you to vocally state "Akutagawa's got the tough kick, huh?"
What you really wanted to say was: When will you ever change your means of teaching?
Odasaku was your mentor, his teachings is all about valuable life lessons. Dazai on the other hands, completely breaks someone and shapes them as he wishes.
"Would you believe me if I said I instead punched a wall twenty times?" He said, without eye contact.
"Not really"
"What if I was training?"
"You don't even think about your physique that much"
"Then, I got my fingers through intentional blunt trauma to induce the pain of a bruised knuckle"
"That's a refreshing way to feel pain, but you don't injure your hands as much as your arms. It becomes inconvenient, you don't wanna be like me" you instinctively tightened your grasp on the box, but it was weak, your hand is still numb.
"The pure disadvantage of having someone that knows you is truly disheartening" he said in a dramatic tone, obviously as a flare to direct the conversation elsewhere.
It simply sucks to be Dazai's apprentice.
Sometimes you forget that within him lies a horrifying nature, and it made you reminisce about the day you became 'friends'. How are you alive truly? You'd have to ask Odasaku later, perhaps he's made the new ground breaking discovery of Dazai's humanity.
Time passes, and a conversation begins:
"Could you tell me about your flower pot?"
"My chamomile pot? Sure, but don't give Chuuya anymore nasty ideas"
"Don't worry, what's the story behind it?"
"it was Oda's suggestion to buy a flower pot in the first place and take care of it, I only figured that chamomile makes great tea, so I started to dry them into my own tea bags"
"And why would Odasaku of all things would tell you to buy a flower pot?"
"He said that making habits will be hard to forget, because it becomes all the more about instinct and muscle memory rather than memory itself. The mentioned habit is obviously taking care of the plant"
There was a lot of time to spare tonight, plenty of it, so much that ten more conversations could be started.
When you offered to summarise a book for him, Divine Commedy, to ignite his interest, his eyes observed you in a specific way, it was an invitation of sorts.
Dazai wanted you to tell the story
and, You didn't hesitate in fueling his undivided attention, as you began to thoroughly explain who the main character Dante is and the grand adventure that he was about to undertake, an adventure through the three kingdoms of the after life. Hell, Purgatory and Heaven, respectively.
"In Heaven, his past lover Beatrice awaits for his arrival whom Dante has been in love with, but couldn't proceed with marriage due to complications. Beatrice died at 25. It's called Divine Commedy because it starts out in the terrible depths of hell and ends in the merry of a love story in heaven"
"To reach heaven, Dante first had to willingly decent to hell and its nine circles, for this journey, he had a companion and guide, Virgil, a roman poet and an idol for Dante whom was a spirit in this story, not human"
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" Dazai said, with a dramatic holier-than-thou kind of tone. It seems that he knows part of this story, because these were the words inscribed on the gates of hell. It was apparent that he was bemused by your retelling of the story, especially hell's arc.
"Virgil guided Dante through the nine circles of hell, each circle had some sort of punishment that was meticulously designed for the crimes of each sin. Most philosophers, including Virgil, were in the first circle Limbo. Having not committed sin, they still reside in hell for ignorance, they were only forbidden to see God"
You began to lightly explain the punishment for each sin in each circle, and the historical figures that resided there, then, the arcs of the mountain of purgatory and heaven passed smoothly. When Dante finally reached Heaven, he had the immeasurable opportunity to seek an audience with God, when God asked of Dante's descriptions and own depiction of hell,
"Dante cried out that language alone is uncappable of describing the horrors that traipse in hell, for everything that he's seen shook his will and left gruesome thoughts"
Even for the non-believers, Divine Commedy is a story that could be thought of as an examination of conscience. It's a love story, but it's also about creativity, hate, monstrosity, politics and human sin. Its about a man's self journey, that's why Dazai liked it or so you thought, because if the story was a bad apple, Dazai would have already pointed out the blunt truth, he wouldn't have taken a bite.
After this story, moments followed, some were consumed by silence, others by lively chatter of the ten more conversations.
The Dazai you knew often spoke in pithy, and rarely in sincerity. His actions had the same agenda, heartfelt actions are rare. For Dazai, it doesn't matter, actions don't speak louder than voices. They're both equally null.
Yet, what he did next was sincere, what he said after was his true-self. The side capable of showing 'goodness'.
You felt his touch, his hand above your good hand, the different texture of it being half skin and half bandaged, it was surprisingly warm but not soft to touch. So, you looked at him, but he wasn't there to look back at you.
It didn't last long, only three seconds for him to let go and three more for you to realise his intent. You felt it first in your blood. . .
Something was missing.
"No more using that for the rest of the night"
Dazai has nullified your ability
"Kōyō won't certainly like this" you sighed, a little smile finding it's way on your face. It is what it is for tonight.
"Kōyō is such an annoying woman, I don't like her old fashioned poise" he ranted, then his voice calmed "I'm worried"
"You're what now?" Your heart probably skipped a few beats here, Dazai just expressed worry, and it baffled you.
"At this rate, you're going to forget everything y/n" he smiled unironically, it wasn't a genuine smile. "What's to say you won't forget the basic functions that make your humanity?"
"This gift let's you manipulate others, but it also manipulates you. It makes you ignorant"
"That's how it works. I think it's a fair trade, considering that some of my interrogations resulted in mental disorders to the interrogated- " you said, but he completely disregarded your statmenent, instead going off with his own reasoning and thoughts.
"Odasaku noticed the increasing gaps in your memory, it's not a temporary state of amnesia, once it's gone, it's gone"
"I think I would cry if I forgot that I was searching for meaning, Attempts bound to be futile, an endless paradox of foreseen misery"
"Are you done?" you weren't arrogant when you said that, you know full well the implications of your ability, but having anyone bothered about it is the last thing you wanted.
"Can't believe I actually have someone that 'worries' about me, let alone it's you. We might as well jump from here" you leaned over the edge, dangerously peering down. "Doesn't look to shabby to me"
"You're finally speaking wonderful ideas, tonight doesn't sound bad, although I was planning to drink with Odasaku"
"I was joking executive" you mocked, leaning back, "That was an earful, but I get it, Odasaku was probably the one who motivated you to say this"
"That's not true" he sighed, fixing his eyes at you in a semi-tired look. "I noticed that while we're talking, that you completely forgot that we visited Ango two nights ago" he continued,
"I was surprised that you remembered the IOU's and the drink, maybe I'll always keep you in debt to me somehow since you can't forget favours"
"Changed my mind! I'm jumping"
"Woah not yet! What about the IOU's from two nights ago at Ango's office? Not my fault you forgot about it!"
"You're lying! I would never place myself in debt for you even if I forgot what I did!"
"Alright, you got me" He smiled, "we only discussed the death toll that night"
"I'll keep your consideration in mind Dazai, but, your nullification doesn't last long anyway"
"You're right, the time interval between each nullification is random, but it can be up to an hour in some cases"
"Well then" you held your weight, standing up, "I'll be heading now, you're drinking with Odasaku right? Have fun for me" hands in your pocket, you were prepared for the long walk back. By the time you'd each HQ, the nullification would most likely have worn off.
Dazai didn't reply, but he turned to look at you from his seat and that was the last thing you saw.
No longer than five minutes into the walk between the suburbs, you felt that someone was following you, lurking in the shadows. You didn't bother looking around, because it was painfully obvious who it is. So, you just kept walking. . .
.
.
.
They're still following you
.
.
.
He's still following you
.
.
.
What could he possibly want from you? He's not giving up
.
.
.
"I take it you changed plans with Odasaku?"
You asked, whilist walking, a voice answered right away "Yeah, he's going to spend the night with those Orphans again, by the way, I was sure I tried a different walking pattern"
You laugher echoed in the dark street, "so be it your pacing speed, light or heavy footing, It doesn't matter, I'd stop trying if I were you" you took a stop bellow a street lamp, looking around left and right, in all possible ominous looking zones to determine his whereabouts.
"You never seem to forget how to counter me" He appeared from the cloak of night, walking under the light of the street lamp.
"I remember your footsteps by heart, and unlike mind, the heart never forgets" you gave a wink, and it made him visibly cringe, slumping his shoulder in cowerness "One day, your optimism will be the leading cause of my death"
You both shared a moment of bemusement, untill you asked the question "what brings you here, stalker?"
Dazai enjoyed the insult, approaching you slowly in an ominous, anticipatory manner. You stood still to entertain him, and once he got close. .
"Tag!"
He pinched a lose strand of your hair lightly with a wide smirk on his face, sneakily nullifying you once more in a simple tag game.
"Why you!" You giggled as you 'attempted' to tag him back, but without a right hand in the cause, it was a little more difficult. Dodging you was a no-brainer from Dazai, his swift calculated steps successfully evaded him from your touch.
In your attempt, he managed to touch you, skin to skin once more by your left hand.
"I win again~"
You gave up, delivering to him this mini-victory to claim. "Alright fine, you win"
"One to Zero, onto the next round, in abooout- twenty minutes"
You punched him pathetically with your right hand, for accuracy and in order to actually land the hit, in his shoulder, it sent a small wave of pain in your injury which you completely disregarded.
"That was uncalled for!" He pouted, rubbing his shoulder dramatically, in an act of pain.
"What do you mean more games?!"
"My nullification only lasts less than an hour, remember? I think we need around thirty games of tag for tonight"
It was at that moment you realised, the executive isn't going to let you go off the hook, Oh boy, it's going to be a looong night of tag games, might as well give in and Kōyō be damned. Maybe tonight was a good night to rest, just like how Odasaku is going to spend his time with the Orphans.
That thought, sincerely, make you smile.
"Tag"
you booped his nose with one of your fingers, and he let you.
"You're it"
-end
That night, Dazai basically annoyed the living hell out of Kōyō by intentionally nullifying you untill sunrise.
I like to imagine that a couple of days later, Dazai gives you a leather notebook to keep in your cabinet. He encouraged you to write your memories down, for Odasaku's sake.
_________________________________________
A/N: Thank you for reading! Bellow are parts of the fanfic that can be traced to actual philisophy! Read at your own interest~
Philosophy Citations:-
"Beauty Will Save the world"
• The Philisophy of Fyodor Dostoevsky even after facing plenty of short-comings in life, and writing literary masterpieces that cover the warnings of nihilism, his own miserable life experiences and humanity's dark nature. (and many more. . .) Yet, Fyodor had a hopeful vision, the beacon of beauty in humanity's darkest hours.
"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”
• a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche, a German philisopher, during his time he thought a lot about the concept of 'Übermensch' or Super Man, it was his philisophy that a man should completely affirm to life to become someone who has the ability to determine their circumstances, their values, their beautiful strides and ultimately fulfill their potential to become who they truly are.
"Divine Commedy"
• a literary work by Dante Alighieri, an intalian/roman philisoper, he despised many political figures including popes and traitors for their corruption, he got exiled from his home town Florence for charges of 'corruption', leading to the writing of this book. It includes his view of who resides in hell, past historical figures and corruption makers of his life time, as well as those who reside in heaven, all in the context of a man's journey in discovering himself through the three kingdoms of the afterlife.
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!"
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deepreviewvoid · 8 months
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Hey! another pm dazai fic incoming, it's tediously long but I'm all here for it. Thank you for your patience, and Good day to you.
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deepreviewvoid · 8 months
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- Trust has no value -
pm Dazai × gn Reader!
Genre: Shenanigans,,
Synopsis: a game of two truths and a lie in an abandoned warehouse quickly turns into a dangerous game of trust.
Background: Reader is also a mafioso, and has known Dazai for a good while after being recruited under his wing, but time alone establishes nothing mutual, especially in a place like the port mafia.
Triggers: this is the port mafia, really, what else should I say? (Knives, Suicide mentions, Blood)
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The mafia is a cruel organisation, that is an understatement, it is nothing short of a demonic one that reaps its privileges forcefully without second thought. You didn't have any bright plans in mind, or even a clearer line of morality, so you decided to join for the benefits, the money, and the thrill.
Climbing the ranks wasn't awfully difficult, you were smart and knew your way between the thugs and the knives, sure you've had your scoldings, but each sharpened your will and hardened your tenacity untill eventually, you were recognised by one of the executives, who later took you to work under his team.
He had weird subordinates...to say the least.
An orange haired kid with an attitude? apparently, he manipulates gravity and its the strongest ability known out there. It would be a random beautiful day, but not for Chuuya because he'd always curse the fact that he and Dazai worked almost too perfectly together, infact so well that they were known among the mafia as Double Black, or something like that. He instead preferred to talk about wine and motorcycles, and both topics never interested you, so really, you and Chuuya never found common ground unless it was a battleground.
Then there was Akutagawa, he was quiet, tense, and with a comical amount of temperament. His ability had a personality of its own, which safe to say, it stems from his deepest core which is filled with pure loathing. After working with Dazai for a while, you pretty much realised that Akutagawa was like an orphan he picked and made a punching bag, no wonder he's traumatised.
Anyone would be naive to think that Dazai cared about these two with any possible shred of genuine concern, empathy or even bondship, no.. no no, you'd be gravely mistaken, Dazai intentionally dug out his heart long ago, thus, he solely relies on his mind, his thought process and wit that has kept him alive, and will soon make him the next Mafia head.
You are no exception, you knew that he doesnt trust you, and you never trusted him either but this is the mafia right? We're not here to make friends and share our woes as we cry our hearts out in loving trust. Yes, we're one big family, but that's a metaphor, afterall, we're a family armed with guns, everyone has a gun, anyone can play the game.
You knew the rules and you played the game, you only focused on your tasks and nothing else, however, you also kept one eye out at the suicidal executive, human nature was a personal interest of yours and you couldnt just ignore the opportunity to study how that man works, from afar, of course.
It's been months since you've been here, and today you learnt something new, Dazai has a little something for abandoned warehouses.
________________________________________
"Thank you for joining me tonight y/n!" Dazai said with a hint of sarcastic cheerfulness as he sat crossed legged a top of an empty shipment container, it was practically rusting everywhere.
"I was quite bored, think nothing of it" you were leaning on the container from bellow, staring at nothing in particular. "now why did you actually even bother inviting me is what I'm interested in" you didn't bother making eyecontact, the empty warehouse was already doing its job at echoing your voice loudly enough.
"How should I word this?-" he flipped the pages in his book as his eyes scanned the pages with the help of the dim moonlight. "Think of it as an opportunity, for the both of us" he said in a deadpan voice, not curious or interested, just simply stating.
When Dazai speaks of opportunities, its always about his opportunities. You're not going to get anything out of it, and you knew that too well, so you simply rolled your eyes.
but ... you were willing to play his game.
"Tell me more" you asked, and he replied almost immediately, "do you trust your superior?" and you replied bluntly, "orders are orders so yes, but if we were to sit in a room as strangers with one gun, I don't think so".
And so, you two lashed out in a series of questions being asked by him, to be immediately answered by you.
"Feeling is mutual with the latter, next question, where do your loyalties lie?"
"To the Mafia's prosperity and continuous succession"
"Guns or Knives?"
"Knives, give or take"
Dazai made a sound close to humming just for the notion of the conversation, the page of the book he was holding made a sound as it turned once more, but then the book was abruptly shut right after, as if the new page's contents were boring.
"You know, you're such an interesting person to strike conversations with!" You rolled your eyes at his comment before blunting replying "Do you call this one sided conversation really interesting?", he was the only one asking, but then again, do you even dare ask? There's no guarantee that this man won't play around it.
"Don't get me wrong y/n, I value honesty, you may go ahead and strike me for this ground to be fair" his voice echoed from above the container, and soon enough, he jumped down gracefully to impose direct eyecontact. It was always his way of intimidation, but you also knew your way around, so you burned more fuel into the game by throwing the dice.
"Guns or Knives?"
"Guns are more reliable, they're the embodiment of aiming your will at who you choose to kill, I did notice that you're more of a knife type of person..." his answer ended on a question, and for the sake of this, you didn't entertain him the pleasure of giving an answer, instead you pushed for another question, which made him faintly smirk at the realisation.
"Are you a masochist?"
He chuckled lowly "I don't take pleasure from pain, infact I hate it... and you already know about these" he lifted his arms, "they're just suicidal tendencies, is all"
You took in his words as you both made unwavering eye contact, Dazai was almost always confident in his words, they're a result of his trusty mind afterall. "I'll take my turn now, what do you think of my prowess as an executive?" He said.
"You get things done effectively, your manipulation skills are intimidating and you know how to control the pawns, out of all executives, it seems that you have the least casualties among your men"
"How astute of you, I must say it's even quite flattering" he dramatically raised a hand in fake admiration.
It's your turn now~
"Tell me more about Ango and Odasaku, from my observation, I know that you spend a lot of time with them, what about them? do you trust them?" You didn't break eyecontact as you asked.
"Ango is an informant officer, secretive but rely on him, Odasaku is a great drinking buddy, dont underestimate his low ranking" he effortlessly answered a vague answer, without giving a single hint of doubt in his half assed answer.
At this pace, there's no way you can use this chance to learn more about him, so why not make things more interesting for the both of you? "Do you want to play a game, executive?", his single eye showed signs of intriguement for a moment before a smile ever so faintly crept on his face, he likes games doesn't he? "a magnificent proposal"
"Let's play two truths and a lie, simple, and i'll do you the honors by going first" you smirked slyly as you imposed your three sentences, to which one was a lie.
"I trust you"
"I prefer knives over guns"
"I'm completely loyal to the mafia"
You wanted to play that game, you wanted to make the answer obvious, so you chuckled and nodded when he chose the first statement to be the lie. He found this entertaining, it's entertaining when a game losses its rights to be called a game, because the answers are already there from the start. This was unusual for him, most games he played were of cat and mice in real operations, but this harmless game? Oh it was something else for him, so he proceeded with his three statements.
"I trust you"
"I prefer guns over knives"
"I'm a suicidal"
You both were practically staring daggers at each other when you chose the first answer, and when he revealed it to be the correct one... You both chuckled in quiet irony, the warehouse sending your eerie voices echoing around.
"Chuuya is not as half as entertaining, unless I make him to be, this is more fun, I must confess" he said first between his laughs, and you replied right away with your own confession.
"I agree, Akutagawa hates my guts, I can't even start to have a proper conversation before he lashes out rashoumon at me" you replied dryly, also between your laughs.
Two people just confessed that they don't trust each other and there they are laughing like a bunch of maniacs. What kind of insanity is this? You asked yourself, but in reality, you asked him something far more unusual...
"Then humor me, since we don't trust each other, would you be willing to take a dare from me?" Dazai gave you the most unhinged look for a couple of long seconds, probably out of an act of suspense, he agreed in the end. "If you humor me as well with the same request, then gladly"
Dare for a dare, eye for an eye. You can ask him to do anything and he can do just the same, what enticing possibility should you choose? Knowing yourself, you were already going to choose something psychological, the excitement was apparent in your voice as you placed your dare on the table.
"Close your eye for ten minutes, ten minutes of pure truth where you'll answer any questions I impose with atleast some material honesty"
Without hesitation, nor comment, he closed his one remaining eye as he stood infront of you ever so casually, it was like you're staring at a corpse if it wasn't for his chest heaving as he took his long breaths and his brown locks that were fluttering in the gentle wind of the open warehouse, it made him a pinch more alive.
The executive is already committed to the dare it seems.
"So, how does it feel to close your last eye?" You crossed your arms as you stared at him, making sure to not move yet, as that will give him some hints.
"I would be lying if I said I'm closing the bandaged one, but don't worry, I see nothing" he chuckled, "some people think I hurt my eye, but I didn't, and I wouldn't go far as to visually impair myself. I only wear this patch to switch between my left eye when I'm in a darker environment"
"So you wouldn't go far as to visually impair yourself, but you jump in rivers? Seriously.. Hirotsu made me fish you out before because that old man's back couldnt swim" small cries of laughter escaped your lips as you giggled at the memory.
"Don't question a suicidal, what if I told you that my true love in life is a fine rope?" He said in amusement, sighing also in mock amusement.
Now that's entertaining, you thought. But hey, let's press for more questions, so far his answers are genuine, or atleast appear to be.
You made an intentional sound of shuffling as if to grab something from your attire to give an illusion, to let his mind wander. You approached him untill you were only two steps apart, he stood unflinching.
"Tell me, what's your mind thinking?"
"Two things, you're attempting to psychologically trick me, and what the hell is y/n doing, honest" his lips curved unto a high smile, a sly one.
"It's kind of hard isn't it? You always trust your mind and the judgements it provides because your eyes play a crucial part in providing sources, but without your eyes, what can your thoughts even produce?"
"You know, a blind man can still become a mafioso, they can strongly rely on their other senses to produce judgements that are just as accurate as someone with perfect vision. I don't think there's a difference in my judgement, but I must confide in the fact that I enjoy this test nevertheless"
"What if I told you that I'm holding my knife?"
"That's a lie"
"How could you tell?"
"By sound..., oh, now you're holding it~"
And it was true, this time you were holding your favourite little knife, you ended many lives with with one. It surprised you, but then again, it shouldn't surprise you that he was able to tell the tiniest sounds that a normal human wouldn't hear, that's because our ears don't focus on the little things in life, unless we force them to do so.
"So what about my knife? How do you feel about it?" You made a show, only to yourself of course, by masterfully flickering the knife around, it obviously made sounds as it cut the air.
"I've always liked the shape of your knife's handle, it's very grotesque, which is why I like it. I'm also thinking of all the ways you could stab me right now, it's exciting, can you believe that there are over a hundred of ways to stab someone?!"
You rolled your eyes yet again tonight, he was way too enthusiastic in his mentions of suicide and harm, you probably already know atleast half of his most read book by now, the complete manual of suicide.
"Well? What's the liberty of the knife holding?" He asked, still unhinged, and still he stood in the same position and posture since the ten minute clock.
You shrugged, "it's fun to swing it around", your knife deviously coming close to his own body, you were also enjoying this...
He was only smiling during the whole thing even as you brought the edge of your knife over his non-bandaged cheek.
"So it's true, you really don't fear death" you whispered, as you glided your knife over his cheek, in truth, this knife was a dull one, not your sharp one that you usually kill with so really, It was a pathetic knife that you held so dear, it was a knife uncapable of hurt, it didn't even spill one drop of blood,
unless you applied more pressure,
which you did.
"You know, I don't think I'll prefer to have a bandage on my good side, try not to make it too ugly", his skin tingled with a familiar feeling, the feeling of being cut. "Bandages on both sides? Really?" He sighed at this trouble as if it concerned him greater than the fact that you're running a knife across his cheek, and that a drop of blood is begining its race to his jaw.
He didn't stop you, and this was too prexpeling that you forced yourself to stop.
You wiped it off the drop with your finger, the wound is too weak to spill more than two drops anyway, and you seathed your knife back to its place. You noticed yourself unable to stop staring at him, your stomach slightly flipped at how morbid a human can really be. It fascinated you, but at the same time, you realised you were dealing with a challenge...
This man doesn't tick like a clock, because there were never batteries to begin with.
"It won't scar" you said while looking at your finger, wiping the blood away in your clothes, ah, the privilege of wearing black clothes, you took a few steps back, he's the same, he didn't move since the start. He's an executive.
"That's good to hear" he let out a huff, "what a dull knife you have, why do you keep it with you? If I had to guess, its because it holds intrinsic value."
"Hey, you don't get to ask questions here" you said in mocking sarcasm, he immediately refuted "I get to, ten minutes have passed-" he opened his eye again with a faint smirk.
Already? How long have you been staring? How long have you been trying to stab his cheek? And does he count time just like that? You didn't dare check your phone, you knew he was right when you estimated the time and went over the events in your head, you gave up and sighed.
"Welcome back to the world of the living, hooray" you said in a stern tone, almost mocking him once more. Dazai doesn't hold grudges much, in fact, this guy is a sucker for insults, especially when the enemy insults him.
He simply smiled mischievously "now close your eyes for ten minutes, and answer my questions truthfully" of course, that freak chose the the same dare and you can't complain at your own game, so you immediately shut your eye lids, and the last thing you saw was his face, a finger that he swiped across the little cut you gave him, and a smile.
"Tell me, if I were to do the same, would you let me? Would you flinch?" You thought of the question, and truth be told, an answer immediately popped in by heart, so you answered truthfully.
".. no, not really, eye for an eye I suppose"
"Why do you think that I don't trust you?"
"We've worked together before, we both saw what each of us are capable of, even one of the most valuable lessons you've taught me is the fact that evil expects evil from others"
"Astute, but not the answer I seek"
"Wait, let me guess again"
He let out a huff, you could imagine that he was smiling, "go ahead" he said as if he'd be patient for eternity, even if you took two minutes out of the previous ten.
"Perhaps because trust is a weak word... Does it even have any value to you?" You realised that you just asked him a question, so you didn't keep your hopes up for an answer, however.. he replied.
"It's hard to say, trust is a personal debate of mine, that said, 'trust no one' is a motto some live by, but in reality, if one were to never to trust anyone, then no real progress would pursue. As much as I despise it, Double Black is based on trust, and as much as the head of the mafia despises it, he too must rely on his executives." Dazai's answer was nothing short of well thought and well constructed, still it left you puzzled even more, what was his stance? Is there anyone he trusts?
But alas, don't push your luck is what you've convinced yourself in this moment.
"Over to you now, why don't you trust me?"
"I don't think anyone should trust you, truth be told and I be damned for saying this"
"Oh? Don't worry, do continue, I want to hear your reasoning"
"With all due respect executive, you're awfully good at manipulation, nothing short of a master manipulator. I don't think you'd blink twice before picking up a card and discarding another, you choose not to be a piece in someone's game but always to be the player in everyone's game."
Dazai chuckled darkly, almost too darkly for this. Suddenly, this game has went ten degrees colder. "This is too good" he said a simple sentence, but who knew what it implies, even worse, you can't tell what it really implies when you can't see anything.
Then you heard his footsteps, the sound between each step was consistent so he took normal strides... about four steps, you already estimated that he's one step infront of you, too close.
"I told you, we have the most interesting conversations" he said in a cheerful tone which was now closer. "Do you remember that operation that sent us flying?" His voice wavered a little as he quietly chuckled "the bomb situation at one of our warehouses, it was a chaotic one"
That time, an enemy gang placed a bomb at a mafia warehouse, unknowingly, and unluckily, you and Dazai happened to be near the explosion radius, it was one of the worst casualties that the mafia had in years and after it, came in days and days of endless work to amend the losses and seek revenge.
"That happened almost two months ago, yet I almost forgot you still have that bruise" you can feel his eyes trace that place you know well, there was originally a glass shard that impaled your skin dangerously at the backside of your neck.
"I broke an arm and your neck was bleeding like no tomorrow, yet we held our ground. I'm still surprised you didn't pass out that day" you felt some air on your nose, it didn't take you long to realise it was his breath. Needless to say, he smelled terrible.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Just saying my thoughts out loud, by the way, ten minutes have passed" you waited a few seconds to open your eyes, he was already back where he originally stood.
"Fair game executive, fair game" you smirked at him, sure, he's mysterious, witty and suicidal, but the past hour has been the most interesting thing you'd done since you joined the mafia.
He let out a crooked smile before taking out something familiar, your dull knife. "Do you remember? I asked you if this knife had any intrinsic value to you..."
Once again, you rolled your eyes, of course, he swipped it off you earlier. "What's got you so hooked up on that knife, Dazai?"
"You did just cut an executive's cheek, what privilege already!" He joked tauntingly as he swung the knife across his fingers in a careless manner.
"Says the executive that would let anyone murder him~" I cooed as I slugged ny shoulders.
"Come on, quit blabbering, I deserve an answer" he pouted dramatically.
Eventually, you just let him have what he wanted, he was like a kid demanding candy, and that was scary enough.
"Fine, this is the oldest knife that I have, that's all there is to it. I found it on the street too"
This is also the knife that got you first blood.
"Oh, so that explains why it's so ugly" he flipped it left and right observing it once more, as if the new information provides a whole new picture to the knife.
You sighed before swiping it off his fingers, "Seriously- gimme that" he let you take it, but his smirk was forever plastered on his face for somereason. "Don't even get me started on your taste in river spots!" You seathed the knive back into your little leather holder before looking back him with a teasing taunt, it's almost baffling how he manages to flip between kid and executive.
"You choose the spots that are next to port- I repeat- next to port- that means murky water, contaminated with oils and rust. Is that what you really want to fill your lungs with? In that case, I'd consider suffocation, or even lethal poisoning instead of drowning in pollution. Have some self worth atleast for your dead body"
Dazai didn't say a word, at first which made you second guess you existence, but oh well, he broke into giggles, little by little, into a full blown laughter, even holding his chest with his hands as a form of dramatic flare or perhaps it was genuine. You couldnt hold yourself back, why did that sound come from your mouth, why were you laughing too over suicidal methods? You couldn't help it, you knew half of his damn book.
Eventually, you both calmed down from the hysteria.
"I still don't trust you" he crossed his arms, turned his head slightly away, still in eye contact. "so that means, I can't trust your choice in suicide methods"
"I don't trust you either" you copied his exact same posture, also crossing your arms. "I can't trust your judgement in knives"
"Drink with me tonight?"
"Only if you'll humor me with another dare?"
"Deal".
-End
And that's how pretty much Dazai introduced you to his go to bar, Lupins.
A/N: I'd really appreciate feedback since this is my first. Thanks :) that was fun to write.
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