Me when I actually finish a four part drabble collection for a possibly dead-ish ship in a fandom I don't even take part in anymore: Am I...better than everyone? (This is a joke, I know I'm not.)
But yeah, last Miraith drabble! Is here!! I'm going to be switching pretty exclusively to Titanfall fic for the foreseeable future, so hopefully this is a good note to go out on! Full fic below, but I'll include an AO3 link in a reblog as well!
Having the impulse control of a toddler on crack was going to be the death of him one day. If not physically, then definitely psychologically. The only good thing he could say about the situation was that they weren’t mic’d up when it happened. No recording devices were allowed on the training grounds at all, actually, and security was tight enough that he wasn’t staring down the risk that their training sim run was being illicitly recorded. That left him the perfect opportunity to let this gem slip out of his mouth:
“Wraith, babe, I love you dearly, I’d follow you into pretty much anything, but…” Elliott doubled over and took a deep, gulping breath. “...I’m not doing that. I’m sorry. Like I said, love you dearly, but…”
It took saying it a second time for the words to sink in.
…that was out loud. That was out loud with my whole chest.
“...uhm.”
Wraith stared at him. She seemed to be waiting for him to backtrack, say he meant it as a joke or in a not-at-all serious kind of way. Elliott knew he should say something, but every single word died in his throat. She looked great that day. Well, she always looked great, even covered in blood in the hospital, but…
Wow. Yeah.
“...you don’t have to say it back,” he said quietly.
Wraith stared for a bit longer before turning away. “Okay,” she said. “Okay.”
She didn’t sound angry, not to him. Just kind of…soft? Hesitant? Elliott almost asked if that had been too much, but bit the question back at the last second. That felt like walking it back in spirit.
He didn’t want to walk it back.
They didn’t bring it up again for the rest of the session. The closest they came to talking about it came when another thought wormed its way out of Elliott’s brain and into reality. “You look beautiful today, by the way.”
That one, at least, got Wraith to smile. “Thanks,” she said.
Elliott took that as a sign that he hadn’t completely botched it up.
Or, at least…he hoped not.
.
Deciding how she felt wasn’t the hard part. Really, Wraith knew from the second the words left Elliott’s mouth. She’d been quiet in the moment because of how unexpected it was. Now…
We’ve already had so many rough conversations. Why is this the thing I’m struggling to say?
Paper cuts could hurt worse than broken bones, and sometimes three words were harder to say than thirty. Honestly, the more she grappled with the thought, the more convinced Wraith was that she was naturally not the kind of person to say those things, even if she felt them.
But I need to. I need to somehow. Elliott liked verbal affirmations. It was one of the first things she’d figured out about him. Even if she never directly said it out loud again…
Once. Just once. For his sake.
The unfortunate thing was, much like the kiss, it never seemed like a good time. They were at the start of a new season and it felt like most of their days were spent training, studying the new rule sets, giving interviews, or dodging giving interviews. They didn’t spend every second of down time together, and most of the time they did spent together either involved slouching on a couch watching bad television or Pathfinder being there. Not exactly the most romantic settings.
So what? Ellliott said he loved you at the shooting range. The location and off-the-cuff nature hadn’t made her feel less romantic. Considering their relationship history, she could probably say it anywhere and it’d make sense for them. She just had to get over her mental hurdle and say it. Preferably before we start doing matches and getting shot at. Or shooting at each other. She’d like to avoid saying it then if she could.
When an opportunity finally arrived, they were in Elliott’s room. The new season started the next day. They were supposed to be relaxing over dinner and not worrying about it. Elliott, of course, was worrying about it.
“Is the suit too much?” he said. “I dunno, I’m worried the suit is too much. Especially for a one-time thing.”
“Everyone’s doing too much. That's what opening day is for.” Wraith paused. “Okay, everyone but Narita.”
“I think they might’ve bullied him into a costume change this time, actually.”
“...oh no.”
“Yeah, they’re going to regret that one for sure. I don’t know how, but they’ll find some way to make him regret it.” Elliott laughed anxiously. “Maybe he’ll do something with his old mercenary group? Then again, that might be putting a target on his back out here, depending…sorry, I’m rambling again…”
“It’s fine,” Wraith said immediately. Elliott still buried his face in his hands and groaned noisily. “I get it. New season jitters.” She carefully took his hands. “Listen…”
She almost pointed out that he was expected to rank Apex Predator that season, but figured that would read as more pressure, not flattery. So, she tried something else.
“Just remember, I’ll have your back. And I love you no matter what happens.”
And there it was.
Wraith didn’t know why she’d stressed so much about saying it. It felt so natural, so…right. Even the startled look on Elliott’s face when he lifted his head didn’t take away from that. “...you mean that?” Elliott said. “I mean. Wait, that sounded bad…”
Wraith cut him off with a kiss. “I mean it,” she said. “Really.”
Elliott stared for another second. Then, slowly, he smiled. “Okay,” he said. “Love you, too.”
It was so simple. And yet, at the same time, so beautiful. Whatever worries she had about the upcoming season didn’t matter.
One way or another, they’d always have this.
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