crocs-in-socks13

[crocs-in-socks13]

hey guys. you know theyre called the reds and blues right. its not illegal to like, ship a red and a blue

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Retired!Spy Timeline Crossover Au

Okay. Consider: 

AU where there’s an alternate timeline where Spy ended up settling down with Spy’s mom and just being a dad.

Their Scout (just Jeremy in that world)  ends up being killed by some of spy’s loose ends.

Then, in current time, our cannon Scout gets transported to this world somehow and everything slowly becomes unraveled for him and this retired spy. 

Imagine some strange twenty something breaking into your house, insisting he’s never met you but that your wife is his mom and your step sons are his brothers, and realizing this is your dead son from another timeline.

THEN imagine realizing 1. you were an absent father in this timeline, he doesn’t know you’re his dad, but the you he knows he despises and 2. that may be the reason this Jeremy is still alive today. Guilt ensues. 

NOW imagine it from Scout’s perspective. You end up back home with yet another pompous french asshole (if you had a nickel for every time you met one of these) married to your mom. Also, your mom doesn’t recognize you.

and THEN imagine it slowly, slowly, dawning on you that you’re in an alternate timeline and this is the same french asshole that’s on your team. Which means that in your world, that spy is probably your freakin’ father. Denial ensues.

—-

Overall, wholesomeness (mostly from Retired!Spy and Scout’s Ma), shenanigans (mostly from Scout), and angst (from yours truly) ensue.

Edit: made a blog for it thinking of making a comic

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I love celebrating the ides of March here on tumblr, because it's like an annual reminder that it's perfectly okay to stab a politician to death if they piss you off

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POV: The only way you know how to cope is substances and forcing yourself into so much work you don't have time to sleep

#doomposting #stress #im done with this shit #im gonna lose my mind #substance abuse #substances #weed #dont worry im using harm reduction #im so tired

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Vent time bc I need to scream into the void

Before I go too deep into it I was born missing a valve in my urinary tract which caused me to have to get multiple test and a surgery done before I was 10. I was barely a conscious human being at that point and NOTHING got explained to me. NOT. A. SINGLE. THING. THEY EXPLAINED NOTHING TO A CHILD BEFORE HOLDING THEM DOWN WELL THEY SCREAMED AND SOBBED TO A MEDICAL TABLE WITH NO PAIN MEDS AND THEIR STILL DOING THIS TODAY EVEN THOUGH ITS PROVEN IT GIVES CHILDREN SEXUAL TRAMUA.

I HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS 3 TIMES 'just to make sure' BEFORE THEY WOULD EVEN SUGGEST SURGERY

MY MOTHER WAS THE ONE TO CONVINCE THEM TO DO SURGERY AS APPARENTLY NOT A SINGLE DOCTER OR NURSE NOTICED THE DISTRESS OR TRAUMA THEY CAUSED ME.

#urodynamics #vent #tramua #i hate doctors #medical trauma #yelling #tw #tw surgery

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Do you wanna have a competition of who can suck the most golf balls out of a hose?

You betcha! I'm great at sucking balls! Wait - WAIT NO

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you have social anxiety dealing with dead bodies doesn't involve people... well living people

I can dispose of bodies no issue but if I go out shopping for over an hour and come back it feels like I fought ten bears. Why. My back hurts

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Krill issue on soldiers part not gonna lie :/

Can I marry you pretty please

sorry dude its 1968, gay marriage aint legal yet and i fear what soldier might do

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Rb for daily health and prosperity

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Rb for daily health and prosperity

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what if i *remembers that making suicide jokes is not conducive with my goal of improving the wellbeing of myself and everyone around me* transform into an oyster

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Hey. I'm a fictive of Nick from L4D2, and I guess I'm lookin for anyone that remembers me though I sure don't know why I'm doing it. My full name was Nicolas Elwood, I was in my early 40's and Ellis was killed by the military for being a carrier. Me, Coach and Ro were immune. Left the group after that. Ellis and I had a thing but I doubt anyone knew but us. The body is 21 and I'm 45 so I really don't want minors to contact us, sorry about that. Like or reblog this if you want, I guess.

!!

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God damn, I miss you all a lot. I was so eager to get back to my life and never have to fight zombies with you all ever again but now I miss it (You guys, not the zombies.) I miss our long conversations in the safe rooms, hell, I even miss Ellis talking about Keith. It's so weird not having to hear that anymore. I'm glad to be out of the apocalypse but I'm not that glad it separated us. I don't even know if any of you are out there or if I'm rambling to myself but I'm taking a chance. If any of you are out there, I miss you and I never thought I'd say that. - Nick, L4D2.

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Simmons really does have the energy of a baby trans who has met his first elder trans (Sarge) and needs so desperately to get the attention and approval of said elder trans

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When I'm on my monthly I like to eat a pomegranate with my hands. It feels almost poetic I bleed, it bleeds and for a short moment, we are the same sharing energy with stained hands.

#persephone #pomegranate #period #im strange #but hey i love it #and she loves me #pagan